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I've joined the avascular necrosis club

2023.05.30 19:23 Ciiyan I've joined the avascular necrosis club

Hi everyone. I'm so grateful to have found this group. I have so much appreciation for people taking the time to share their stories and advice, I hope I can do the same. Here's my sesamoid journey, which began about 8 months ago: CHAPTER I - pre diagnosis - 28F, very active, was highly dependent on exercise for mental health. I wore barefoot shoes for the past 8 years. My main exercises pre AVN were swimming, biking, calisthenics, dancing, walking. - I was pretty much bed ridden with a virus for two months in October 2022 (not covid). Early November, I suddenly went on a 3 hour walk on a beach with large stones, in barefoot shoes. This was my first significant activity since falling sick. - The day after, I noticed an aching pain in the area of my left sesamoid. I thought nothing about it for a week, thinking it would clear up - As the aching persisted into the second week, I was concerned and saw a physiotherapist. They strapped the foot and diagnosed it as plantar fasciitis. I was very doubtful with this diagnosis as none of the symptoms matched my experience. I had already suspected this was sesamoiditis from initial googling. But I unfortunately didn't pursue my suspicions further. - fast forward 8 months, I had seen 3 physios, a podiatrist, 3 doctors, had an x-ray and ultrasound which both came back with reports saying everything was healthy. Over this time walking became increasingly difficult. I stopped walking for more than 5 minutes at a time. I tried strapping and immobilising for periods of both weeks and a month, but every time the pain and swelling would come back. The swelling was in the sesamoid area, and in my big toe. My swelling did not have heat or redness, and was brought on by all movement, including swimming. In a swollen state I could not bend my toe. - These 8 months were excruitating at times. Not really from the sesamoid pain, which luckily has so far been moderate as long as I avoid movement and weight bearing, but from some major hopes and dreams being torn away from me (partying, travelling, quitting my job, walking dogs), and losing exercise as a coping mechanism. I was also plagued with guilt and shame about my foot not healing, and exhausted from constantly trying to assess whether more or less movement and weight bearing would be better. - on the brighter side, my friends and family were unwaveringly supportive, and I was able to go on some amazing adventures during that 8 month time, go to a music festival on crutches, live on an island with only boat access (no walking!) and my incredible partner has taken me on 4WD driving adventures. I also joined an acapella group. After some dark, hopeless times, I was able to see that life was still worth living without walking. The biggest shift I had was improving at letting go of the idea of my personal life narrative, where I saw myself as a healthy, active person who would travel the world. That still might happen one day, but I now don't feel consumed by the idea that that's the only way life can be worth living. Resources that helped me come to this place were (in no particular order): - talks and meditations by Tara Brach, plus years of going on 10 day meditation retreats - joining a local meditation group (beware of meditating totally isolated, in a traditional context it always came with community) -The five invitations, a book about death, with many stories of illness and dying, and navigating that from a buddhist perspective - the wonderful disability advocacy channel sbsk - fortnightly therapy CHAPTER II - post diagnosis - A week ago I finally got referred for an MRI by a sports doctor. The report came back saying my medial sesamoid has "established necrosis", and is "fragmentary". The attached photo of the MRI shows how completely dead that medial sesamoid is, there's a black hole where it should be!!! From lots of research here and in medical case studies, I think the sesamoidectomy is the only option now, as there's no alive bone left to attempt regrowth, and I don't think surgery could make me less mobile than I am already. - Returning to the sports doctor with these results, he was sympathetic, and seemed to recognise that this diagnosis was out of his realm. He immediately referred me to an orthopaedic surgeon - Given the state of New Zealand's health system, it could take 6 months to a year to just get that initial consultation with a surgeon that is actually a foot specialist, even going privately. I'm hoping to find a faster way by going to Australia. I am fortunate to have parents that can fund private healthcare for me. - Getting a diagnosis has meant I've given myself the permission to finally address my needs. I feel sad that I couldn't bring myself to do that before the diagnosis. I've learnt that you have to really advocate for yourself, and believe in your own experience and symptoms, and push back against internal pressures of wanting to appear compliant and "nice" faced with the authority of healthcare professionals.
These are the practical steps I have taken since the diagnosis:
- called every foot surgeon in New Zealand to get an idea of consultation wait times - called two foot surgeons in Sydney - applied for, and got approved for a mobility parking permit by printing out the form and making a doctor's appointement - obtained crutches and started using them 24/7 - bought an iwalk 3.0, a hands free crutch option (I haven't set them up yet) - started enquiries into if knee scooters will fit me (I'm 150 cm high, so don't fit most adult apparatuses) - compiled a surgery preparation list thanks to this wonderful group, so I can buy all the equipment well ahead of time (knee pillows, ice machine e.t.c) - booked in physio appointments to get advice on how to keep exercise (I'm sure I could figure this out on my own, but I really need help with motivation at the moment) - planned to buy stools/chairs to put all around the house - started setting up a lounging area in my bedroom, since I expect I'll be home a lot - messaged many friends and family telling them this is going to take probably a good year or more for me to be somewhat mobile again.
I'm finding that I'm getting better at asking for help with things like cooking, cleaning e.t.c, but that is really a skill that needs to be developed.
I am amazed at how exhausting this whole process is, and I still have bad days where I lose all hope and energy. And days of non stop anxiety, like today, I've been reading the reddit from 12am - 5am... but I feel a lot better adding my story to the mix, and knowing I'm not alone here. It is such a hard ailment to live with, and to readjust the narrative you had planned out for your life.
One thing I do still feel worried about is how to be able to stay working as a software developer through all of this, and especially post surgery, it sounds like it is often a very long, painful time, with lots of physical therapy needed. I have a new job starting in August, and it's currently unimaginable to me to think of how to do all this planning, admin, and trying to stay mentally and physically well while also working. I'm going to swallow my pride and look into what options there might be for being on a benefit. Best wishes to everyone here. I hope that I can improve at feeling the kindness and hope I feel for other people for myself as well, and this post was a little part of making that happen.
submitted by Ciiyan to sesamoid [link] [comments]


2023.05.30 19:19 Somebody887 As I entered the funeral home, I saw my mom standing on the stairs with a veil on her face and a black dress and, in fear, I said: but mom, you're dead...

She came closer to me and whispered, while holding me tightly: you too, honey, you too.
(Btw this is not original its translated and made fit in two lines by me but the idea is from Fernando Iwasaki, a great writer)
submitted by Somebody887 to TwoSentenceHorror [link] [comments]


2023.05.30 19:14 SheriffCoyote Medication side effects may be making me a miserable asshole.

I'm on Lamotrogine. 200 mg a day. I deal with headaches every weekday(aka. Days I leave my house) that start from 3-4 PM, and don't end until I go home and sit in the dark. I rarely got headaches before this med. When my headaches start, everything pisses me off.
People are starting to notice changes in my behavior. Things they didn't notice before. I was told to ask my peers before if they ever noticed any behavior changes during different episodes when I was first diagnosed. I'm becoming less social and less friendly now. "Asshole" might be an exaggeration, as I've been mostly responding reasonably by removing myself when it gets really bad and communicating that I have a bad headache. I've been a bit snappy, like when my peers invaded my space and started to be loud(I was clearly studying). I ended up rudely saying, "Did you just come here to make noise?"
I generally leave my place first thing in the morning, but now I dread leaving. If I'm at home, I feel okay enough(I'd even argue normal due to being able to cook, clean, and engage in hobbies a bit again). If I leave, it's when things go downhill. Part of this is weather as I'm extremely sensitive to the sun and heat, and so I start my day off by spending 10 minutes in hell. Irritability caused by this quickly goes away when I get inside. The far bigger part is the headaches and knowing I'll get headaches if I don't stay in my room where I can control the light level.
submitted by SheriffCoyote to BipolarReddit [link] [comments]


2023.05.30 19:10 PossessedDirection My Week 5x5

My Week 5x5 submitted by PossessedDirection to lastfm [link] [comments]


2023.05.30 19:10 Dangerous-Bag-7327 [HIRING] 20 Jobs in Dallas Hiring Now!

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Hey guys, here are some recent job openings in dallas. Feel free to comment here or send me a private message if you have any questions, I'm at the community's disposal! If you encounter any problems with any of these job openings please let me know that I will modify the table accordingly. Thanks!
submitted by Dangerous-Bag-7327 to DallasJobsForAll [link] [comments]


2023.05.30 19:08 LazyVBBruh I think Karen owns this place

I think Karen owns this place submitted by LazyVBBruh to redditonwiki [link] [comments]


2023.05.30 19:08 Moko-d Recommend me: K-tip double bevel 'double edge' knife! Budget $500

Looking to add to my knife collection.
About me / my preferences:
  1. Yoshikane SKD Nashiji Stainless Clad Gyuto 240mm: https://knivesandstones.us/collections/yoshikane-skd/products/yoshikane-skd-steel-nashiji-semi-stainless-clad-gyuto-210mm-240mm-270mm?variant=42893336576247
  2. Shinko Seilan Aogami Super Gyuto Kiritsuke Ktip 210 mm by Shiro Kamo: https://knivesandstones.us/collections/seilan-by-shiro-kamo/products/shinko-seilan-aogami-super-gyuto-kiritsuke-ktip-210-mm-by-shiro-kamo
  3. Yoshihiro VG-10 46 Layers Hammered Damascus Gyuto 210mm: https://www.amazon.com/Yoshihiro-Hammered-Damascus-Japanese-Octagonal/dp/B00DFXOGQ8/
  4. Calphalon knife set (includes bread knife, utility knife, long slicer, paring knife): there so my family doesn't touch my knives 😊
Thank you!
submitted by Moko-d to chefknives [link] [comments]


2023.05.30 19:00 lxzgxz My husband took the kids out of the house because I had a panic attack.

May 27th is a horrible day for me because on that day in 2014, my very favorite person in the world passed away in a drowning accident. I’d just turned 20; he’d just turned 21. I learned how to build a new life around the grief, but I still feel it, and I ended up breaking down and having a panic attack while sitting in the bath.
He absolutely flew to get me a drink and my Xanax, and once the panic subsided he helped me out of the tub and to the recliner. Then, he got the kids together and took them to the store so I could take a nap. I ended up not waking up until after they’d gotten home, but when I checked my phone I had a text from him from while he was at the store that said “What do you want for dinner? Anything you want. If I’ve never made it before I’ll figure it out.”
And then he took care of everything for the rest of the day. He cooked dinner, he cleaned up after, he put the kids to bed and packed me a bowl after they’d gone to sleep. I don’t know what I did to deserve someone so caring and compassionate but fuck man I’m so lucky 😭
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2023.05.30 18:48 Impossible_Space5917 why is they calling blud satanic when he had pink eye 😭😭😭

why is they calling blud satanic when he had pink eye 😭😭😭 submitted by Impossible_Space5917 to asaprocky [link] [comments]


2023.05.30 18:46 iloveeeeemycat [Travel the words] (%100)

[Travel the words] (%100)
First to ever %100, super proud of this one
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2023.05.30 18:41 Bell555 Struggling with being dropped into a parental role.

This situation isn't specific to RBB's but I suspect some of the baggage I'm trying to process is. This is mostly a vent but any support or educational resources would be greatly appreciated.
I've posted my story before and discussed my reasons for going NC with my mom. But now I'm faced with a new challenge and I'm really struggling to keep my shit together.
I'm now 36, and engaged to an amazing man who is a better partner than I ever imagined possible. We've been together 5 years and this is the first peaceful, loving, home situation I've ever experienced.
He has a daughter from a previous relationship who is 7. She's a great kid and we get along really well. I've never wanted children of my own, but after some early struggles, doing the part time thing became manageable and I made peace with it. Thankfully my partner loves being a dad and takes on most of the "parenting", so I can play more of a "fun" role. Of course, I still help make sure she's dressed and fed, and sometimes help with homework, etc. Due to my own abusive upbringing, I stay away from the discipline and all that, though.
His ex recently dropped a bombshell on us, that she wants to move to the opposite side of the country with her husband and youngest, and have my step-daughter live with us full time. My reaction was...the ugliest reaction I've ever had. I panicked so much I made myself violently ill and couldn't stop crying for days. I couldn't explain the sheer panic and rage I felt. Or why I recoiled at the thought of being put in a parental role. (For the record, the kid was not with us and didn't see any of this.)
It's half fear of accidentally causing harm because of my own terrible upbringing and half selfishness. My dad was an addict and I practically raised my younger brother. I was protecting him from the time he was born (I was 5), while my bpd mom just waifed or pretended everything was totally normal and fine. I did my fucking time already. I lost so much of my life to their mistakes. Now that I'm on my own I feel I deserve to live my life on my terms. I've always been careful to use protection and made it all the way to thirty-fucking- six without an "oopsie". And now this ex of his just gets to steal my future from me? She refuses to work, or support herself and just gets to dump her kid in my lap now that she's no longer convenient? Selfishly, I'm fucking enraged and cannot stop grieving what feels like the death of my own future.
But, having been a kid whose parents resented me, I know none of this is my step-daughters fault. And I genuinely believe living here would be better for her, especially if her mom is so willing to shuffle her off. She's a good kid and deserves a stable, loving home. I don't begrudge the child at all, but I HATE the situation and what it's doing to my life.
The only image of a "mother" that I have is the codependent delusional waif my mom was. I remember her getting up at 4 am to iron my dad's clothes and cook his breakfast. I remember that she did all cooking, errands, housework, yardwork, etc. I remember that even I understood "mom" to mean essentially domestic slave. I remember the 1 time my dad was kind to her (he brought her flowers about a week after his first long rehab stint). The rest of the time he hated her and us. He cheated constantly and regularly abused everyone in the home.
I also remember how she told me when I had kids of my own that I'd stop existing and that people would care about my kids, instead of me. "Once you have kids, you stop getting birthday or Christmas gifts, even from your own parents. Your own plans need to be put aside. You no longer matter once you're a mother, so enjoy it while you can."
I'm in therapy and working to adjust to this new reality but I'm breaking down as the time gets closer. It feels like 2 weeks is all I have left until my life is over. Until I vanish. And ... I've only been out of the fog for 3 years. It feels like I've only just started living my own life and now it's being stolen from me.
submitted by Bell555 to raisedbyborderlines [link] [comments]


2023.05.30 18:36 RoyalPuzzleheaded170 28 y/o F, recent grad looking for guidance

I recently graduated from X-ray school, and I am about to start a job in Cardiac Cath lab in about 2 weeks. This is technically my second degree; I already have a B.S., in my opinion did nothing for me career wise but with this new job I will be doubling (probably more) my incoming and hopefully have lots of opportunities to be more financially stable. I’ve done a pretty good job of keeping my debt low (I think) and paying what I can out of pocket. I spend within my means, cook at home, while in school I worked two sometimes three jobs, so I am no stranger to working hard. I’ve made great connections with people at the hospital that I will be working at and can pick up shifts in X-ray department as well and will probably do that on top of my full-time job in Cath lab.
I am a victim of identity/credit card fraud by someone I know and although I’ve confronted this individual the debt still must be paid. Yes, I reported to the police, contacted the credit card companies but this person had access to all my information including my SS#. I found out about the debt after it was already in collections, so there was little I could do (I think). The debt in terms of the fraud is under control at this point because I paid most of it myself, but when I first found out it was about 15k of debt.
I feel like I have been giving a chance to really start my life over and be financially stable, but I don’t know how or where to start. I know little about investing, 401k, budgeting, emergency funds etc. I want to get a new credit card (I have 2, one is a student credit card with $500 credit and the other is a target card $2k credit) that I can use to help build my credit. My main goals this year is to pay half of my student loans off, rebuild my credit and save about 5k or more.
I currently don’t have any savings; I used the money to move. I lived in the rough part of town when I was in school and had to get out of there, my catalytic converter recently got stolen and that was the cherry on top of living at that place.
Tentative annual income: 64k, (I will start taking calling within 3-6 months and that will increase my pay)
My debt/expenses
CC- less than $400
Student loans: 25k
CC fraud- $1,500 (this is the lowest it has been)
Rent( split) my half- $735, not including utilities I recently moved so I don’t have those numbers yet.
Gas- about $40 or more
Car insurance: $100
I paid off my car last year.
I just need advice on where to start, should I get a financial advisor? Where can I learn more about investing, budgeting and 401k? what are some credit cards recommendations for someone with low/fair credit score?
submitted by RoyalPuzzleheaded170 to personalfinance [link] [comments]


2023.05.30 18:25 pancakesnewthrowaway Supposed to start new job soon, no childcare lined up.

I was laid off last fall, so early this year I pulled my toddler from daycare since we could not afford it/ I was home. A month after I pulled them, I started receiving offers for work, and I am currently set to start work next week.
I have been on waitlist for care for 2.5 months, with no sign of the wait ending. I’ve already pushed my start date once, and I don’t know if they’ll delay again.
For context, we are a military family, and I’m not comfortable sending my kid to any facility outside of the base. Having the extra layer of security and oversight is really the only reason we started daycare. I wish I could afford a nanny to start while we wait, but I’m in a high COL area, and a good nanny who will cook/ assist in potty training is more than I can afford.
Part of me wants to just turn the job down and wait until we secure care, but who knows how long that will take. This is a good job with somewhat ideal hours close to home and decent enough pay. Plus since we live in a high COL area, it really helps the family to have a little wiggle in our budget. I guess I am just venting, but if anyone has advice or insight, I am open to hearing it.
submitted by pancakesnewthrowaway to workingmoms [link] [comments]


2023.05.30 18:25 Bombadeir Stop One of the Grand Tour: Speaking in Houston

Good Morning my fellow Texans! I am honored to be within the presence of all you fine folks.
As I’m sure many of you know I have recently put forward a package to industrialize this here city of Houston. This will bring massive growth in the economy, job markets, and liquid equity of not just the city of Houston but also The Lone Star State.
However I have not come to you to tell you what I have done. You can clearly see the growth and action I’m trying my damnedest to bring about. I have come to the dear city of Houston to speak of the future. Not only of Texas, but of the Dixie, and of our nation.
First of all I have released many of my major packages. There is still alot to get done however. My plans for the future are the following.
Veteran healthcare in Texas. This healthcare will cover 90% of all costs for service members healthcare needs. Alongside this it will also cover the cost of housing for veterans, and allow their direct families to stay in housing facilities for visits if the service member is hospitalized.
Next I plan to implement freedom of death. When an individual dies the family will receive the option for a state funeral. The state will offer to either bury or cremate deceased individuals. Families will be allowed to bury their loved ones outside of cemeteries so long as the body is marked via a headstone etc. and that the owner of the property of which the burial will take place gives permission for the burial to occur on their land. Funeral homes must be able to properly bury a body. Mainly in regards to depth of the burial.
Now I’m sure you’d love to hear what I have for the nation. Well I’ll be legalizing marijuana, streamlining the federal government, dismantling the CIA, reforming the Military, removing federal subsidies from arms companies, growing our agriculture, maintaining our natural resources, and reforming our budget.
My specific plans for these policies are in the works. Myself and advisors are perfecting what the Bombadeir administration plans to bring to the federal government.
So my dear people, please elect me as your President. I will do all I can to bring extraordinary reformation to the federal government the likes of which I have here in Texas. Thank y’all for y’all’s time. God bless Texas, God bless the Dixie, and God bless America.
submitted by Bombadeir to PoliticalSimulationUS [link] [comments]


2023.05.30 18:25 Dr_AK_Myst I'm a doctor who can't heal himself. I'm a mental health advocate with his mind in the gutter. Wanna hear my story ?

I don’t know what I'm doing here. But I'm taking a leap of faith anyways. I want this post to be considered Entry 1 of a public diary that I wanna share in this subreddit. If this post gets enough comments and upvotes, I want to make this a regular series. Because I want the world to know my story.
So here's where I right now- I'm a 26Y (M) freshly graduated doctor in Bangladesh. My father passed away last year after battling cancer for 9 months. I used to run a fairly succesful mental health startup that helped young adults & adolescents battle depression. But I needed a lot of money for my father's treatment and thus I had to sell off my startup, merge with a bigger company and join them as a consultant. I had to lay off my team and lose ownership of my projects.
After my father's death, my mother (also a doctor btw) became suicidal. It took me 6 months to get her in a better place and she is doing good nowadays. But in the process I graduated 6 months later compared to my colleagues since I had to take an academic gap.
And it is during that gap that my girlfriend abandoned me. In fact, she didn’t even show up at my father's funeral.
There is a LOT to unpack here, especially about my mental health crisis and my journey if rebuilding myself. Here I am- a junior doctor in a workplace he doesn’t like, far away from home in a different city, with no long-term plans and a lot of responsibilities. I really don't know where to begin, so let me know in the comments about which part of my life you wanna hear about.
That's my intro. So...... wanna hear my story ???
submitted by Dr_AK_Myst to self [link] [comments]


2023.05.30 18:14 Booozy-Banana I started learning mixed martial arts and it’s been two months, consistency is the key.

I started learning mixed martial arts and it’s been two months, consistency is the key. submitted by Booozy-Banana to u/Booozy-Banana [link] [comments]


2023.05.30 18:10 dopedifiedgenius Hello, Looking for a Living Donor. I am O-Positive.

Hello. My name is Steven(Male). I live in Long Island, New York - I am 29 years old and I need a kidney. I have lupus nephritis which has caused stage 5 kidney failure and a whole host of other medical issues, such as joint pain, fatigue, depression, anxiety, edema. I am currently on Peritoneal Dialysis(PD) 7 nights week while still working full time. I am currently in the process of being placed on a transplant list with New York Presbyterian - Weil Cornell Medicine. My insurance is Emblem Health HIP HMO.
Due to being O-Positive, I was informed by the doctors that my average wait time for a Kidney is 5-8 years, if not longer, if I’m not mistaken. That’s way a living donor is preferred and so necessary. For those who may not know and for those who are living with kidney failure, this has been a long, difficult, unpleasant, and exhausting battle. This whole ordeal in all has affected my mental health, my self worth and has impacted all aspects of my life. I feel as if I don’t have a future.
But receiving a kidney is more than just about me - It’s about my mother and my fiancé and the rest of my family. My mother had a stroke in 2014, and I am her sole caregiver since my brother and father have passed away (2017 and 2022 respectively). She helps as much as she can when I get home but, I don’t want to her to exhaust herself for me. She needs me, just as much as I need her. My fiancé and I have recently gotten engaged and I look forward to having more experiences with her and getting old with her. While she’s had battles of her own, she’s doing all that she can to support me mentally, but I don’t want to make her feel overwhelmed. She needs my support, just as much as I need hers. Between working full time and being on dialysis, I don’t have much time with them anymore, especially my fiancé (since we don’t live together). I miss their company and I need them to be ok. I want more opportunities to show them how much I appreciate them and love them.
I want to be here for the people that I love, I love to cook and I want to be able to cook every night and not be confined to a machine in my room. I want to be able to see my cousins grow up and graduate. I want to be able to go back and get my masters degree and be able to focus. I want to exercise again, daily, without feeling exhausted. I want to be able to feel free again. I want to be able to travel, without lugging around a machine and being confined to dialysis every evening. I’d love to take normal showers, jump in pools and feel the ocean again.
Though many times, things feel bleak, I’m willing to keep fighting And hope is not lost - Not for any of us facing this same challenge. I hope this reaches someone. If you you are willing to be my donor, I’d be so grateful and so incredibly thankful.. If you have any additional questions please feel free to ask below or message me.
submitted by dopedifiedgenius to kidney_match [link] [comments]


2023.05.30 18:07 kzoothrowaway12 Any local employers that are doing majority hybrid schedule or minimal in-office work? Plus a small rant...

My employer made everyone return to office work and my quality of life has taken a nosedive. Now I get to spend my day stuck in traffic commuting and am suffering by being away from my home, children, and pets.
I really need to be there for my kids. I can't be an effective parent only seeing them briefly in the morning and again from 6pm to 8-9pm while also being busy with cooking and cleaning and yardwork. Our weekends are filled with house work we don't have time to do throughout the day anymore (since going abck to the office full time). Plus, childcare is so expensive.
Can anyone chime in with employers in the area who let their tech employees work from home 3-4 days per week? I'd be okay with a commute if its only once in a while. I'd even be willing to take a pay cut.
I have skills with IT infrastructure (cloud and on prem), automating workflows, linux sysadmin and networking. If the shop runs linux on the back end I'd be a good fit. Looking to work earnestly for an employer who doesn't force their employees to come into the office just to justify the middle management's jobs or their office's rent.
I don't mean to come across as desperately looking for a job; more so looking for a list of employers I can seek out on my own.
I appreciate any insight. Thanks.
submitted by kzoothrowaway12 to kzoo [link] [comments]


2023.05.30 18:04 Calm-Percentage2732 AITA for telling my SIL I don't want to talk to her every morning?

3 days ago my husband and I's house burnt down. We (me, my husband and our 3 kids) are okay but we unfortunately did lose our pets (our dog and my son's ferret). I do believe my cat got out so I think he's fine. We are currently crashing on my MILs couches while we wait for the investigation to be done and get the insurance. Insurance will pay for the hotel BUT they won't until the investigation is up. Could take weeks from what I'm told, due to staffing issues. My SIL is my MILs caregiver and lives here full time in a separate house on the property (maybe 25 feet away) and every morning at 5am she comes over to make sure mum is actually taking her meds (she hates them) and to cook for her. Every morning that she comes over the dogs (MIL has 3) go mental. Barking, running through the house, etc. It immediately wakes me up but I don't say anything because this is not my house and I'm just trying to remain optimistic and thankful that we actually have somewhere to crash. But I'd be lying if I said that this isn't draining me.
The dogs are one thing. But as soon as my SIL sees the dogs have woken me up, she immediately starts engaging me in conversation and will sit there talking my ear off for hours, before she goes back home at noon to take her afternoon nap (every day). She then comes back over here for dinner and again, talks my ear off until damn near 11pm every single night. So I'm really not getting much sleep at all. I have zero down time. I have no time to process the grief of losing our pets and home. I'm just constantly engaged in conversation that I want nothing to do with.
This morning she came over earlier than usual (4:45) because she couldn't sleep apparently and as much as I pretended to be asleep, she didn't buy it. She stood over me and said "I know you're not sleeping, come have a coffee with me". I kind of looked up at her and said "Listen, I truly do not want to talk every single morning. I have a lot to process on my own and I'm getting very little sleep due to the emotions I'm going through, the dogs barking and my head being in fight or flight mode.". She was like "uhh ok" and turned and walked off. I then tried to go back to sleep, which definitely didn't happen because I heard her in the kitchen bitching to my MIL about me being snappy at her. My husband tells me to ignore it but it's kind of hard to when she's here constantly and now giving me the cold shoulder.
submitted by Calm-Percentage2732 to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]


2023.05.30 18:02 daisywhispers My sister got suspended and it made me realize how much I resent my family

My (22F) sister (16F) just got suspended for bringing weed to school. She got OSS for 5 days and besides that, she’s had no real punishment. She didn’t get grounded, she didn’t have her video games taken away, nothing. I don’t understand why she never gets consequences for her actions. When I was her age, I had B-C grades and I skipped class ONCE. I got a call home and both of my parents reamed me for it. They threatened to not pay for me to go to college and send me to community college if I did it again. I never did. I quit my job and one of my extracurriculars so I would be able to focus more on my grades I went to college, and did pretty decently. I was never great at school but I wasn’t bad. My sister has failed or nearly failed most of her classes this year, and it was the same last year. No consequences. She brings weed to our home, where my father can get in serious trouble if his job finds out there’s weed in the house. No consequences. SHE GETS SUSPENDED. NO CONSEQUENCES. All of the rules and expectations of me that were drilled into my head as a teen, she gets a pass for apparently.
These lessons that gave me a fear of disappointing authority figures and being a complete fucking square. I fear smoking weed because I’m afraid I’ll get caught. I didn’t go to parties in college because I was so afraid the cops would show up and I would get in trouble. I didn’t have a “college experience” because I was full of anxiety that they instilled in me. I stayed in my dorm/apartment while my friends had fun. I can’t even drink anymore because I do it so infrequently, it makes me sick. I’m almost 23 years old and I can’t handle a beer.
Not only the weed, basic life shit she just dosent understand because no one taught her. She dosent know how to do laundry. She won’t shower unless someone tells her to. She refuses to clean her cats litterbox or feed them wet food because it gives her “sensory issues”. (She does not have autism or any disorder that would give her sensory problems) She never helps clean, she never helps cook. She sits in her room all day on her computer. And no one seems to give a shit. I bring it up to my mom and she says “I didn’t ask you to help when you were 16” YES YOU DID. IVE BEEN HELPING SINCE I WAS A KID.
I talked to her the other day about her getting suspended. I called her an idiot for thinking that was a good idea. I don’t care about her smoking weed, but her actions leading up to that were stupid, and she should really step it up. My mom calls me an hour later and tells me to not be so hard on her. That her mental state is very bad right now. I hate to say it, but I don’t give a shit. She should be sad. She fucked up. She needs to feel the consequences of her actions.
I’m about to give up on all of this. I hold so much responsibility in this house and my sister just dosent seem to care. I can’t parent her, I’m her sister. Not her mom. Buy my mom seems to think that I should. My dad is never around so I have to take on the second parent role a lot of the time. I want to move out but the area I live is very expensive ($2k+ rent) and I just can’t afford it. I’m staying here and saving until my bf and I can finally move in together.
I wish my family was more egregious in their favoritism. Then I’d have a reason to go low/no contact. But I don’t. My mom is amazing to me. She puts pressure on me but I don’t think that it’s bad parenting. I think she raised me to be a very responsible, independent woman. I just want my sister to get the same treatment as me. I get very frustrated with her but I also feel bad for her. My parents are failing her. When I inevitably leave and when she is an adult, she’s not gonna know what to do.
It’s just sad
TLDR: my sister got suspended and got no consequence/punishment. I was raised a lot differently and it makes me resent my family and pity her.
submitted by daisywhispers to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]


2023.05.30 18:02 Wynter_Sirius (U.k.) London based company is trying to push me out with only2 months paid gardening leave instead of my redundancy. I've been there 10 yrs

I started work from home during the pandemic. The quality of work did not drop, actually, it improved. Last year I bought a house in another city. I notified my line manager of this throughout the period I was house hunting and was never told not to do this or that it would be problematic.
A few weeks ago I was called into a meeting and told I would be put on a remote contract seeing as commuting cross country throughout the week would be too expensive and extremely yime consuming, details pending, which I was fine with. Yesterday I had a meeting with my bosses boss. HR were not present it was just he and I. He said the company is willing to offer me 2 months paid gardening leave to find another job. Whenever I said redundancy he would bring it back to gardening leave. This was the only option I was given.
I've worked for this company for 10 years. I missed my dad's funeral to ensure one of their projects got out on time. My siblings haven't spoken to me since.
I know I can say "no" to gardening leave and I've done nothing to breach my work contract.
I feel sick that I've given 10 years to this company and they choose this way to try and push me out.
Thank you for reading. Any advice welcome.
submitted by Wynter_Sirius to antiwork [link] [comments]


2023.05.30 17:48 Edible_potatoezzzz Getting overstimulated beyond my comfort zone and im lost on what to do

Currently im home for a few months, i quit my study because it was too much for me. The past months ive been looking at what to do with my life and it just turns out i have to find a job. The thing is, i live in a street where the people really enjoy listening to loud music, my neighbors are always cooking with many coconut smells, and my other neighbors always throw with the doors. Right now i wear my noise canceling headphones every single day because of these problems, but i get overstimulated with the music eventually (since i listen to the music for 7h straight because the headphones arent good enough to just wear without anything on). Due to being overstimulated everyday its hard to find a job or even do basic things. Im exhausted. And one thing thats even bothering me more is that my bf and i dont speak to each other anymore, not because we dont love each other but because we cant have our headphones off for just 5 min a day. We wake up with it and go to bed with it.
Its nearly impossible to move right now because we (my bf and i) dont have the tools to do so. Im so lost on what to do, life is one big hell right now and all i can do is cry and get (internally) aggressive due this. Added to that i too have pppd which makes me dizzy everyday also due to overstimulation.
Im really sorry if this isnt the place to talk about it but i have no idea where else.
submitted by Edible_potatoezzzz to internetparents [link] [comments]