Garden of life cbd sleep gummies

im 14 and ive been dealing with panic/ anxiety attacks for years now due to trauma and recently ive been having them without any known trigger, yesterday i went to my dad's friend's house and her youngest kids were really loud wich did stress me out a bit but i stayed quiet and took a break by
eating in the kitchen, when i got home it was pouring down raining and i ended up disassociating and my dad got upset because he didn't know why i was like that so eventually he went over to me and tried to pull me out of the car wich forced me out and i quickly snapped on him not knowing how i got there or who he was at the time, while in the house i felt angry and kept kicking things over and felt
lost and scared knowing where i was, everything felt fake, and everyone felt like hallucinations i didn't think i could trust anybody who was talking to me, i then broke my headphone while trying to put them on and i guess that was the last straw for me i got on the floor and started breaking down crying my dad taped up my headphones and said i was being dramatic and that i was only trying to get out of
going to school (wich no i didnt even remember i had school the next day) i then disassociated again wich brought me back to reality and i took like 5 melatonin's (like these gummies to help with sleeping) and i woke up with a back ache and being in alot of pain.

Clementine walks outside of the dormitory with AJ. The sun is bright and warm making the air all fresh and new from the thunderstorm last night. Some minor damage was done to the east side of the wall, but nothing threatening that will endanger everyone. The grass was still wet from the rain, and so were the picnic tables. Clementine hobbles away with AJ by her side as they make their way to the watchtower. Willy and Aasim are scheduled to go out and hunt early in the afternoon, and Ruby and Violet should be in the greenhouse today gathering herbs and tending to the garden. Louis will be out later in the afternoon checking the traps for game along with Tenn.
AJ walks with Clementine as they pass Omar's black caldron to cook their meals. AJ cast a look up at his mother figure as she is wearing an unusual smile on her face this morning. AJ looks down at the ground to ponder on it for a moment. Clem's hat blocks out most of the sun from his eyes. He finally spoke to her as they made their way to the watchtower, "Why are you smiling so big?"
Clementine shook her head to clear it from her thoughts with Louis from last night, "Huh, what?"
"You are smiling a different kind of smile today," AJ commented being observant of her.
"I am?" Clementine asks with one of her eyebrows arching a little.
"Yeah, like you are glowing or something. What made you so happy last night? Did Louis and you have some sissy gross love talk?" AJ asks.
Clementine looks down at him as they approach the ladder to the watchtower to climb up on. "Yes, we did." Clementine casts her look away not wanting to admit to her surrogate son her first sexual experience.
"That can't be, because you never have that look when you guys talk of kissing love. And kiss and stuff, so what exactly happened between you and Louis that made you...this happy?" AJ looks up at her one more time.
Clementine sighs as she shakes her head, "AJ...."
"I am curious, is all? I have never seen you this happy, even when you guys do gross love things together." AJ said.
"Some things you don't need to know kiddo. At least not right now. When you get a bit older, I will tell you. But you are still my little goofball, and I want to keep it that way for as long as I can, even if you are growing up too fast for me." Clementine said as she reaches out to rub AJ's head and her old hat. Making it go lop-sided on AJ's head.
AJ straightens out her hat on his head as he pouts up at her, "It is AJ or Alvin Jr, not goofball. How many times do I have to tell you that."
"Sorry bud, old habits, and I still like that nickname." Clementine teases him.
AJ gave her a swat back as Clementine balanced on her prosthetic foot, "Well I don't. It makes me feel like I am three again and a baby, which I am not." AJ crosses his arms over his chest and looks away from Clementine.
"Okay, I will try not to use it, alright, kiddo." Clementine sighs, and AJ turns to smile back at her. She then puts on her motherly leadership tone now, "Okay, time to do look-out duties. You go up first." Clementine said as she let AJ climb up first. Once Clementine makes the climb up she let AJ use the binoculars to see as she scans the horizon with her eyes on danger. She tries not to think of about her time with Louis and focuses on looking out for danger, but the thought keeps coming back in her head. Is Louis right? Do I have a glow on my face from what happened last night? Do women glow after they have sex? Do men do as well? And if AJ sees it do the other kids know about it as well? Am I really that obvious to everyone? She tries to hide it, but her heart and happiness will not hide away. Clementine shakes her head to clear it as she focuses in on the threats outside the walls of her home.
.....................................
Louis finished picking up the rest of their fort and gathered his cards up. Smiling as he thought about his and Clementine's passionate night last night. She made him the happiest guy on earth. Once Clem's room is all packed away, he slowly puts on his green shirt and never notices the hickeys Clem left on his neck.
When Louis closes the door to his and Clem's room, he feels a little dizzy, and light-headed all of a sudden and a sharp pain at his gut. Louis leans on the door for support. The pain was a sharp burn, like a bad cramp or something. He never noticed Aasim was just coming out of his room and looked at Louis kind of funny.
"You okay, dude?" Aasim asks.
Louis took a moment then shook his head as the pain was dull but not as severe. "Yeah...must be something I did last night." Louis slowly spoke.
"Uh huh, and that moaning in your and Clem's room had nothing to do with it?" Aasim arches his eyebrows and crosses his arms.
Louis flush in the face now, as Aasim heard his first sexual encounter with a girl, "We...uh...practicing her combat skills." Louis cast to the floor as Aasim is not buying his act.
Aasim chuckles to his friend and looks to Louis, "Look. Lou, I am no idiot. I know you and Clem did it last night. It was obvious by the soft moans from the two of you as I passed your room to go to bed. I won't tell anyone." Aasim looks at him. "You have my word, bro."
Louis looks down, then back up at Aasim, and has a new appreciation for his old friend and for keeping to the guy code. He still held his hand on the side of his body, and Aasim took notice. "Are you sure you are okay Lou, I can go get Ruby?" Aasim asks.
"Yeah, I am fine, and no need to get your girlfriend involved. It is probably hunger pains." Louis half joked as he never experiences this deep pain. Or maybe this is after sex pain.
"Okay, suit yourself. I have to find Willy. He and I have hunting duty, and you Lou, need to rest the traps. It is your turn today, besides fixing up the wall from the storm last night." Aasim said.
"Will do, after I eat something," Louis said as he leaned his back on Clem's dorm room door.
Aasim started to move and kept his eye on Louis as something was not right or not good with him, and he was a bit concerned. Louis took deep breaths as the pain slowly subsided, and he slowly began to move to go outside.
Louis sees Aasim getting his food and taking it over to where Ruby is as they are being all cutesy with each other. He smiles at his friend's romance, and then Louis's eyes fall on Clementine and AJ up in the watch tower. He sighs a happy smile at seeing his girlfriend as she still has that glow upon her face that she and he did last night. And strangely, Louis, too has a glow on his face. He shakes his head as he grabs food and starts to eat it, hoping whatever pain he felt was just hunger pains.
Then he spots Violet coming in from the graveyard, of all places. He has seen her near there a lot, and it is not like her to see her ex-girlfriend's grave marker and act so damn happy when he knows for a fact Minnie ruined Violet back on the beach after the Delta boat blew up. He watches as Violet heads directly to her room, and he lets out a sigh. Once Violet is seen to go to the dorms, Louis looks out over at the wall of the school and the traps as they can wait to be fixed, as Louis wants to find out where Violet has been sneaking off to in the dead of night and coming back in at dawn, or mid-morning. Louis finishes his stew and puts it where the rest of the dishes are and heads to Violet's room, room 202.
...................................
Maya made it back to her tent without anyone noticing her absence. She sees Aniya is still asleep in her bed on her side of the tent, while Maya crawls into bed and smiles with her heart feeling like it has wings. There is no doubt now on Maya's face that she is in love with Violet. Maya only got a half hour of rest when she felt Aniya waking her up, "Maya, Maya...wake up. Bonnie wants us to go hunting again."
Maya groans a little and squints her eyes, "Okay.." Maya slowly gets up, and Aniya looks at her older sister with concern.
"You sure you are up for it? You look exhausted." Aniya said.
"I will be fine." Maya yawns.
Aniya looked at the door and then back at her sister, "You were with Violet all night, weren't you?"
Maya looked down at her feet then her brown eyes met her sisters. "Yes."
"Maya.." Aniya shakes her head.
"Before you say anything, I told her how I felt about her." Maya sighs, "I love her,"
Aniya looks at her, "Maya, I am glad, even happy for you. You found love in this world. But you know this is going to get very complicated. People will start to get subspinous about your disappearing to go meet her. Bonnie will soon pick up your weird behavior and start to question your loyalty. I don't want to see you getting kicked from the group. I need my sister."
Maya understands her little sister's worry as Maya bows her head and puts her hands over them, and lets out a heavy sigh. For the first time, she admits it out loud to her little sister, "I am so torn, Aniya. Sometimes I wished I never met her or those group of kids that fateful day."
Aniya reaches out to her sister and lightly touches her shoulder, "Why?"
Maya pulls her head up and moves her hands to the side of her body. "Because this way, I wouldn't put my heart through this hell I am feeling. It is getting very damn difficult to leave her to come back to this group. You are the only thing that keeps me here, you and Robert." Maya sighs and softly mourns, "Please don't hate me for saying that. I love you, and you are the only kin I have left in this world, and I vowed to Mom and Dad I will take care of you, and know I will never leave you."
Aniya nods and holds her sister tight, "I know. And I don't hate you, Maya, for having those thoughts. But to tell you the truth. As much as I sometimes come off as being jealous, your love for this girl is not a mistake, and don't ever think that was. Seeing you deeply in love with Violet actually gives me hope for a future in this bleak dark world. In some ways brings back memories of when Mom and Dad were alive. And if you feel your home is with Violet and her group, I will go where you go, sis. Family sticks together." Aniya reminded her.
Aniya coughs and nods to the doorway, "Alright, come on, we got hunting to do before Bonnie gets suspicious. Do what you can, sis, and I will try and think of something of an excuse for why you are exhausted."
Maya shakes her head, "I appreciate the loyalty Aniya, but I don't want you to lie for me. I will devise my tale and not let you get involved. Bonnie will know something is up if you do that. Come on."
Maya, Aniya, and Bonnie head out on the beach scouting for food. Maya braces the cold wind as it blows on her fingers, making it difficult to hunt with the bow. They walked what felt like miles, and Maya spotted what looked like a deer. She blinked several times, and it was a deer. Maya gets in a low crouch and begins to stalk it. Maya drew her bow and an arrow from her quiver. She knows when hunting deer out west, she needs to be quick with her motions. Maya drew the arrow back of the string of the bow until it was taunt. Before Maya could strike at the deer, the deer turned and looked at her.
Maya gazes at the deer as it doesn't run or flee, and soon Maya's heart stops and knows this is not just a deer. It is a spirit. Maya lowered the bow and withdrew her arrow from the string.
Aniya looks at her sister as Bonnie catches a wild turkey and a few rabbits. She sees her sister staring at something invisible that only she can see. Bonnie looks to Aniya, "What is Maya doing?"
"I'm not sure," Aniya said as she tried to read her sister's actions.
Maya stares long and hard at this deer and soon feels a sharp pain in her forehead. The pain was so much it caused Maya to fall to her knees and hold her head. Then Maya blacks out and is about to get a vision of what happened to Clementine, Louis, and Violet that day on the beach when the Delta boat blew up
"Maya!" Aniya screams out and runs to her sister, and the same with Bonnie.
"What is wrong with her, Aniya?" Bonnie drops the kills she made and kneels to Aniya, holding her sister, who is unconscious.
Aniya answers, "She is having one of her vision things. She gets like this sometimes when a spirit or something contacts her."
Bonnie looks at her oddly, "This is ridiculous. We need to get back." Bonnie goes and reaches for Maya, and Aniya batted her hand away.
"No, don't...don't touch her when she is like this. You might not believe this kind of thing, Bonnie, but my sister is next chosen to be my tribe, Sherman. Shermans have special gifts of having visions of the past and foreseeing things. My grandmother had this gift, and it is passed to my sister." Aniya explains.
"So what do we do, wait until she regains conscious?" Bonnie asks, looking at Aniya holding her older sister.
"Yes," Aniya said.
"Who knows how long that could take? I don't want to—" Bonnie's words were cut short when both she and Aniya heard groans of walkers, about eight or nine of them. "Shit.."
Aniya stood up and looked at Bonnie, and Bonnie looked at her, "Well, we don't have time for your sister to come to now unless she wants to be walker food. You get our kill, and I will carry your sister to a better location where we are not easy targets. Keep those fuckers off of us." Bonnie picks up Maya and carries her in her arms as Aniya keeps the walkers off their tails Bonnie leads them to a cave to keep them hidden from the walkers.
.........................................
Maya wakes up on the sandy beach. The pain in her forehead eased up some as she heard gunfire. Maya looks and sees Clementine, the little boy named AJ, and Louis Aasim, a boy Maya has never met or seen before.
She hears a horse crying as the boy Aasim waves to some other kids Maya again has never seen before. Maya counted the seven kids and counted Violet, these must be Violet's other members of the group. Then out of nowhere, Maya sees the love of her life as she pleads to a girl Maya has never seen or heard of before.
"Minerva, why are you choosing to be with them? I still love you despite killing Sophie! Your home is with Ericson, not the fucking Delta! I know you remember!" Violet screams.
Minerva looks to Violet. She lets out a scream of confusion. When she sees Clementine shooting a member of her family, Minerva's eyes goes cold and turns from Violet. Violet kept screaming out her name, but she didn't know she was there. "Minerva!"
Violet knew from that moment her precious Minnie was lost to her. Violet watches in horror as Louis, Aasim, and Omar flee to safety. Minerva was going to kill or do harm to someone she cared about.
Minerva points her gun, and Violet sees what Minerva will do. Violet runs to stop Minerva, and the two of them battle and fight with each other until Violet gets slashed by Minerva's knife. Violet's felt the sting of her shoulder where Minerva sliced her. And the look in her eyes just then it is like she didn't care if she hurt Violet.
Violet, in tears now feeling betrayed by the love of her life, watches as Minerva, blindly in rage, advances onward toward Clementine. Violet slowly reaches for Minerva's crossbow and, with shaking hands, aims at her former lover and lets out her tears, knowing Minerva is no longer in love with her and the Minnie she once found love and joy in died the day she entered the Delta. Violet pulls the trigger and shoots Minerva in the shoulder when she tries to aim at her head. Minerva lets out a shriek of pain as she eyes Violet as the ultimate butyral of her former lover. Violet made her choice that day and was going to kill Minerva for the love of her friends.
Minerva yells at Violet, "Fuck you and everything we had." Minerva was unaware of a walker coming and biting her in the face. Louis puts his arms around Violet to protect her. Clementine looks to AJ and is about to follow after their friends when she hears Minerva screaming, "Clementine! FUCK YOU!" and lobs a grenade at Clementine and AJ, causing the separation of Clem and AJ from the rest of the Ericson group.
Maya's heart broke for Violet seeing how much Violet loved Minerva. And Maya stands on the sandy ash beach, watching the event unfold. Maya crashes to the sandy ground and holds her arms, "Oh, Vi...I...I am so sorry..." Maya sobs, and her heart aches for her lover. Maya soon looks up and wipes her eyes, and Maya looks and sees the deer she saw in the woods when hunting with her sister, and Bonnie now appears in the woods of her vision. Maya wipes her tears and realizes this is not just any deer.
Maya slowly stands up and eyes the spirit animal, "Why are you showing this to me? Why am I reliving Violet's past? Who are you, and what do you want? Tell me who you are?"
The deer looks at her and then toward where the horse carries Violet away. Then looks back at her. Maya gazes at the deer and soon hears rumbles. Maya turns and sees a storm making landfall on the river as a stiff wind blows sand in Maya's eyes. Maya sees flashes of bright lights, and soon, the sandy beach around her is filled with blood, and the sky is red. Maya looks back at the deer who stands in the shadows of the woods. Maya realizes this is a warning. The blood, the red sky, and the rumbles of a storm. The red sky means death is coming. No..oh dear God, no! Maya looks at the deer with sad eyes, "Don't fucking tell me I am going to lose the love of my life! Or my sister, Aniya."
The spirit never answers her and Maya soon felt the pain in her forehead as she holds her forehead until the blinding pain stops. And Maya is back to her reality.

Introduction
In today's fast-paced world, sleep often takes a backseat to our demanding lifestyles. Sleep disorders and sleep deprivation have become increasingly prevalent, affecting individuals of all ages and backgrounds. This article aims to shed light on the importance of healthy sleep, the various types of sleep disorders, the consequences of sleep deprivation, and strategies for improving sleep quality.
Understanding Sleep Disorders
Sleep disorders encompass a range of conditions that disrupt the normal sleep pattern, preventing individuals from achieving restful and restorative sleep. Some common sleep disorders include insomnia, sleep apnea, restless legs syndrome, narcolepsy, and parasomnias. These disorders can lead to fragmented sleep, excessive daytime sleepiness, difficulty falling or staying asleep, and overall poor sleep quality.
The Consequences of Sleep Deprivation
Sleep deprivation, whether due to sleep disorders or lifestyle factors, can have a profound impact on physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Chronic sleep deprivation has been linked to a myriad of health issues, including cardiovascular disease, obesity, diabetes, weakened immune function, and an increased risk of accidents. In terms of cognitive function, inadequate sleep impairs concentration, memory, decision-making abilities, and overall productivity.
The Relationship Between Sleep and Mental Health
Sleep and mental health are intricately intertwined. Sleep disturbances are often associated with psychiatric disorders such as depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Sleep deprivation can exacerbate existing mental health conditions and, in some cases, may even contribute to the development of mental health disorders. Conversely, improving sleep quality can have a positive impact on mental well-being and help alleviate symptoms of certain psychiatric conditions.
Strategies for Improving Sleep Quality
Recognizing the importance of prioritizing sleep, it is essential to adopt healthy sleep habits and make sleep a priority in our daily lives. Here are some strategies that can help improve sleep quality:

1. Establish a consistent sleep routine: Set a regular sleep schedule and stick to it, even on weekends. This helps regulate the body's internal clock and promotes better sleep patterns.
2. Create a sleep-friendly environment: Ensure your bedroom is quiet, dark, and cool. Use comfortable bedding and invest in a supportive mattress and pillow.
3. Practice good sleep hygiene: Avoid stimulating activities close to bedtime, such as using electronic devices or consuming caffeine. Instead, engage in relaxing activities like reading or taking a warm bath to signal to your body that it's time to unwind.
4. Implement relaxation techniques: Techniques like deep breathing exercises, meditation, and gentle stretching can help relax both the mind and body, making it easier to fall asleep.
5. Seek professional help when needed: If you suspect you have a sleep disorder or are experiencing chronic sleep deprivation, consult a healthcare professional who specializes in sleep medicine. They can diagnose any underlying issues and provide appropriate treatment options.

Conclusion
Sleep disorders and sleep deprivation are pervasive issues that significantly impact our health and well-being. Recognizing the importance of healthy sleep and taking proactive steps to improve sleep quality can have far-reaching benefits for our physical, mental, and emotional health. By prioritizing sleep and seeking professional help when needed, we can reclaim restful nights and wake up to a more vibrant and fulfilling life.

This is just a bit of a rant post :) After years of workplace bullying I have endless sleepless nights due to PTSD, I can;t remember the last time I even had a decent night sleep.
At work I would endue racial slurs, being told to go back to my own country, I wasnt welcome, I deserve to die - which did push me to a very dark place. I would have stuff taken from my work lockers on a regular basis, be ostracised and descriminated for promotions. The manager and her mates were the main culprits and did eventually push me out of the station and to another area several hours away from home, where now, I get to spend time with my family only 3-4 days a month. I no longer have an career prospects within the service, and the individuals involved in destroying my wellbeing have climbed the ladder into higher manager roles, along with destroying my reputation (so dispite the piles of evidence, the workplace has formed the opinion I am a disgruntled employee).
It gets to the point some nights where the bullying and harassment plays over and over and I can go days with little sleep, being away from family and supports, it does make me wonder why I dont take the advice of the peer support office and just end my life. So instead I came here to babble.

Challenge Rules:

• Create a new save file. Create a new Sim. This Sim is your crazy Doomsday Bunker builder. He (or she) thinks that the world is going to end soon.
• Choose a season, any season you like (if you have Seasons EP).
• Choose a world, any world you like.
• Choose any residential lot you like. The residential lot must be within your budget though.
• If you choose an empty residential lot, then you can build your own normal-looking house. This house will just be a facade because you don't want anyone near your doomsday bunker. You are paranoid, remember?
• If you have spent all the money on the normal-looking house / facade, then you have to earn the money to build the bunker.
• Get a job to earn money. Live a normal life for now.
• Work towards promotions and salary raises/bonuses. They will contribute to the household funds so that you can afford to pay the bills/taxes and work on that underground bunker. The more money you have, the fancier you can build your own bunker.
• Just build the underground bunker in a way that makes sense. You probably need a security system, a sewage system, a water purification system, an air quality control system, food storage space, underground garden, sleeping quarters, showers, toilets, sinks, play area, eating area, kitchen, etc.
• In the beginning, you are probably going to build a very cheap and simple bunker.
• When you age up into an Adult (from Young Adult), the apocalypse has begun. That's when you assign specific lot traits and lot challenges geared for underground bunker life, such as Off-The-Grid living or Simple Living.
• You should quit your normal job and get a custom job title through the Ministry of Labor. Or not. It is up to you.
• Every now and then, you probably have to wear protective gear and go out into the wastelands and scavenge for supplies or find other survivors. (This is just for storytelling purposes. In the actual game, the game will just go by normal gameplay mechanics.)

In short, the only real challenge aspect of this challenge is the money/resources that you start with and that you earn over time, as well as the time limit (as the apocalypse starts when you become a middle-aged adult). So, you should have a functional bunker by then. Close friends of your active Sim will become invited to join in the bunker and live with you, and they can bring their own household funds/resources in to help build the bunker and expand the bunker. They may have unique skills and traits which may help manage the bunker.

I'm 26 female and have been with my Highschool sweetheart for more than 10 years now. 7 years back I was diagnosed with clinical depression and severe anxiety disorder, life has been very difficult after that. I have been on medication and therapy since then. My boyfriend is 25 and we have been in a long distance relationship. We both wished to get married before 2026 and everything seemed fine. Lately, I made the decision that I wish to stay in State A because I enjoy the climate here and property prices aren't that high and I would be able to own an independent home with a small garden area. I'm an introvert. He is an extrovert, he said that there is no way he is ever coming to State A and would prefer to end the relationship, and move on with someone else (even if it is an arranged marriage by his parents). I told him that he will have good career opportunities in this part of the country as well but he blatantly said 'no'. I discussed this with my mother, she said that if he is not ready to understand why having an open spaced home is necessary for you instead of living in apartments/flats then he is not the right person for you. He said that I will build a similar home for you but give me 10 or 15 years, but I already have the option of a home.Why should I waste these many years cramped? I know I can't expect him to move here but how can he expect me to move to different cities in a few years. I tried explaining why this arrangement is beneficial for my mental health and this will provide me with an order which I crave. I attempted suicide last week, things were horrible. I sat down with my parents and therapist, came up with the plan to have my own space which I would be in complete control of. The thought of it brings peace to me. I thought he would understand but he is trying his best to end things and not even giving it a thought.

Violet slowly opens her pale green eyes as she slept next to Maya in the fishing shack to keep warm, as well as snuggling and cuddling her girlfriend. Feeling the love she has for her. Violet looks at Maya as the sun was slowly turning the navy blue sky a dull orange and pink. The air was frigid during the night, and Violet couldn't believe Maya slept on her bare skin being exposed to the cold elements. This is the first time they slept close and in an intimate way. Violet never slept or came this close to sleeping and being near someone half-naked.
In fact, if it wasn't for Maya's gift of seeing visions, she would have gotten her first sexual experience and given away her heart and soul to the person she least expect to find true love in. Violet thought that Minerva was the only person she ever found love in, and someone to love her as she always dreamed of finding. But now as Violet eyes Maya sleeping soundly beside her, she is believing that Maya is the one who she is meant to love and share a lifetime of happiness in this hell on earth.
Violet reaches out and tenderly strokes her beautiful rugged native warrior, and runs her fingertips on Maya's side and slowly trails up the back side of her back. Violet pauses as she sees strange markings on Maya's back shoulder she never noticed last night. She pulls the old sheet to gaze at Maya's back and sees she has strange tattoos of something.
One tattoo was on the top of her right shoulder blade as it was a circle of what looked to be teepees, and in the center of the circle was a buffalo. When they officially met, Maya told Violet that she originally came from the Lakota Tribe out west. Violet is curious if the buffalo tattoo is a symbol of her tribe. She notices Maya's tribal jacket has a buffalo skull on the back and wonders if there is a connection there. Or maybe buffalos are a national symbol in indigenous circles and means something important. Violet shakes her head and then looks at the other tattoo on Maya's shoulder just below the circle of teepees and the buffalo.
This one was strange. It sort of looked like a Dreamcatcher but not. Had colors of red, white, yellow and black, and above the circle was a hawk. Maya did mention her spirit animal is a hawk, as it matches the necklace she always wears around her neck. Violet moves her hand and her fingers trace over the hawks wings on Maya's back. Violet looks down and sees four hawk feathers attach to the circle. Inside the feather are the shapes of different animals. Violet sees silhouettes of a deer, a badger, a porcupine, and a lynx. Maya's family's spirit animals. And Maya's spirit animal acts as a guardian of the circle. It is like glancing at Maya's family tree.
She never knew how family runs deep in Maya's culture. She looks at her girlfriend as she was well-loved by her family. It made Violet feel a bit envious of her girlfriend's life before the apocalypse, as she longed to have a loving family who loved her. In another lifetime, Violet only wished she came to know Maya sooner, and her tribe and family would have embraced and loved her the same as Maya did and Violet could have known what a real loving family was like. But those were only thoughts of what could have been. And probably never would have happened as Violet will be here at Ericson being forgotten by her family, and Maya be living her life out in Jackson, Wyoming wherever that was at.
Violet soon felt Maya starting slowly waking up. Violet closes her eyes so when Maya turns to look at her it will be like Violet is still sleeping when she is not. Although Maya probably can sniff out that Violet is not really sleeping.
Maya slowly opens up her brown eyes and glances around the shack. She gets a sense that Violet took her close to Ericson so that is why she got that vision of Violet's past last night. Maya turns her head to gaze down at Violet's sweet sleeping face, as she stays close by her all night. Maya eases her body down and faces Violet as she wants to hold onto this moment a bit longer before making the trip back to her camp.
Maya knows Violet is already awake, as she felt her soft touch on her back. Maya soon leans forward and plants a sweet kiss on Violet's lips and feeling the love and joy Violet's kisses bring to Maya's heart. Maya pulls back but is still near Violet's sweet face as she whispers, "I know you are awake my beautiful sweet Violet."
Violet opens her green eyes and smiles at Maya, "How do you know?"
Maya looks to Violet in a teasing flirting way to her, "I have my ways." Maya giggles as she sees Violet's face go in a bit of a sour look to her. Maya then explains the real reason to Violet, "Actually it was you touching my back and feeling my skin. You are not subtle with your touches." Maya teases her, and felt Violet giving her a playful shove. Maya loves it she can make Violet be playful. Maya soon grew into a serious face, "Sorry about last night and scaring you. I sometimes can't con—"
"You don't have to apologize. This is something new for me to experience and was skeptical at first when you told me of your gift, when we first started to get to know one another, and never knew how powerful it is to you." Violet softly spoke to her lover as she sits up and gently wraps her arms around Maya's stomach, and left kisses on her bare shoulders giving her all the love and support Violet could give.
Maya felt that lover's touch and smiles a warm smile at her. Maya reaches up and clasp her fingers around Violet's forearms and held her. "You do know if my gift didn't disrupt or killed the mood, you would have been the first I have ever been intimate with you," Maya admitted to Violet.
Violet looks into Maya's eyes, and blush is seen on Maya's face. Violet kisses her shoulder and replies back admitting the same feelings, "You would've been mine as well, and I was kind of going that direction when you said all those romantic words to me. I never knew how deep love is, or felt it, until I looked into your eyes last night and my heart just...knew." Violet looks into Maya's brown eyes. And without hesitation now Violet spoke the words, "I love you, Maya."
Maya moves in and kisses Violet and held her neck as Maya's thumbs graze over Violet's jawline, as she felt Violet's jaw move to Maya's strides of kissing her. Maya pulls back and held Violet's sweet face as she places her forehead to Violet's, "I love you back." Maya catches Violet's eyes and notices something special in Violet's green eyes. When Violet is extremely happy, Maya sees a golden ring in her green irises around her pupils that shines the brightest when she is happy. Turning her spring green meadow eyes, into a harvest color. "You know, when you are truly happy, you have a soft golden hue in your eyes."
Violet looks up into Mayas and softly and tenderly spoke, "You make me very happy. Happiness I haven't felt, since...since I don't know how long ago."
Maya smiles to that kisses Violet's forehead and smelling her beautiful golden hair. Violet nuzzles her nose in Maya's neck letting her know Maya captured Violet's heart, and she truly loves her. Violet stayed like that for a moment and then slightly pulls out of Maya's embrace. "I never knew you would be the type of person to have tattoos."
Maya looks away and does her cute scratching of the back of her head when she is nervous about something or she has to explain. "Oh...um..well, I keep them covered up with my clothes, which is why you never saw them."
Violet moves a little to look at Maya's tattoos, "I kind of dig them. Makes you look even more badass and attractive." Violet admitted to Maya she is a bit turned on. Violet reaches out and strokes Maya's bareback where her tattoos are. Violet softly asks her new girlfriend what they mean, "What do they mean exactly?"
Maya peeks over her shoulder at Violet who was interested in the tattoos that Maya had gotten put on when she was 12. "Well the first one which I am assuming you are tracing on my back right now, is my tribe's national symbol." Maya looks at Violet as Violet's finger was tracing the buffalo's body. Maya then casts her brown eyes to look a little bit at Violet but not into her eyes, "Lakota's are known to be bison and buffalo hunters. It was my ancestors' way of life and main food source. So for us to stand out from other native tribes, is the buffalo symbol. And the connection with the buffalo has to my people's culture. That is why it is in the center around the circle of teepees." Maya looks at Violet, who has her eyes fixed on that tattoo. Then her eyes met Maya's and a loving look fell over Violet's face.
Violet then tenderly spoke, "And the second one?"
Maya bit her lower lip a little, "My calling in life or what I was called to be in my tribe. In indigenous circles, the circle of the four colors is known to be the medicine wheel. My grandmother was my tribe's healer, being a Sherman. Apparently, when you are gifted by the spirits of having visions, it is clear who will be the next Sherman in my tribe. They choose me, so I was given the medicine wheel."
Maya pauses as she explains what the four colors are and represent, "The medicine wheel has many different forms of life and what it means. It correlates with the stages of life, changing of seasons, directional, aspects of life, elements of nature and ceremonial plants used for healing." Maya takes a breath before going in-depth with the explanation. "Yellow represents the birth of someone's life. It is the start of something new, like new life that awakes during springtime. The directional associated with this is east. And has the aspect of bringing spirituality to life and being connected to the spirits and the element of earth. Red represents the youth. It is the element of fire, with burning passion and desire to do something, like physical strength in someone, or physical nature in one's self. It usually associates with the season of summer, and it is the direction of south."
"Black represents the season of fall, and it usually goes with someone who enters adulthood. Black is the element of water, which has the ability to change form at any given moment, like someone's emotions, which ties into black being the emotion in our lives. And it is the direction of the west. White represents the last stage of human life which is elder. It is the season of winter, where everything is white with the purity of living a full life. It is someone's mental state and brings the element of air that we breathe. The direction associated with white is north." Maya pauses as she explains to Violet was the four colors are, "And the center is the balance of all four coming together as one harmony. What we all try to strive for in life. Having balance."
Violet was speechless by Maya's tattoos. And she has a new appreciation for this rugged native girl. Violet clears her throat, "Wow, you really are a deep person. And I am falling more in love with you, the more you share with me your culture." Violet smiles at her. She glances down at Maya's medicine wheel tattoo and traces the circle, "I am guessing the feathers on the wheel is your family." Violet moves her green eyes to look into Maya's gaze.
Maya nodded confirming what Violet spoke, "It was optional to have that feature. At the time before I got rebellious, I wanted to have a piece of my family with me always, never to forget who I am or my family. I am now forever grateful for that decision, as I...I lost my kid brother several years ago to a sickness waiting to get inside of a settlement to start a new life when the world went to hell. And a few months after my brother Koda's death..." Maya closes her eyes momentarily and reopens them up as she tells Violet about her parents, "I lost my parents in a blood bath by rogue Delta members. Aniya is the only family I have left."
Violet looked at her lover with empathic eyes and then brought Maya with a surprised expression on her face. Violet leaned over and left tender, caring kisses on Maya's tattoos and held her close. She never knew how tragic Maya's pain was, and in some ways, Violet felt connected to Maya at this moment because they both had deep pain in their hearts and had similar experiences of losing someone they both loved. Violet places her forehead against Maya's shoulder and nuzzles her nose to Maya's body, and holds her.
Maya felt Violet's loving touch and moved to lace her hand to Violet's and brought Violet's hand up to lightly kiss it. Violet pulls back and rests her chin on Maya's right shoulder. Violet glances up into Maya's eyes as she speaks, "One hell of a thing to have in common with the girl I love. I guess destiny has a funny way of bringing two people together." Violet looks down at her hand as she interlocks her fingers to Maya's copper brown ones, "No matter how much horrible shit we both been through and lived through, I am grateful to have you in my life Maya. You make me feel complete and bring meaning in purpose to my life again. You filled the dark hole in my heart and healed me." Violet moves and plants a tender kiss on Maya's lips for a moment and pulls back to gaze upon her beautiful eyes. Violet sighs and can't believe she is going to say this, "I think you are my soul mate."
Maya smiles warmly at Violet and believes the same thing. And maybe her vision of seeing Violet's past had a purpose of showing Maya that Violet is her soul mate as well. Maya glances at the back wall of the shack or small hut of some kind and realized she needed to get back before Bonnie gets suspicious. Shit. Maya with her free hand strokes Violet's face, "I hate to break up this moment with us, and God, I don't want to leave your pretty face, but....I got to get back to my camp before my leader gets suspicious." Maya sights as Violet moves her lace hand to Maya's and places it on Maya's forearm the hand touching her face. "I wish I wasn't in her group and didn't have to be so secretive when seeing you. I wish I was part of your group Violet."
Violet nods and leans to put her forehead to Maya's. "I wish you were part of my group as well. I too wish we don't have to sneak around just to be together."
Maya presses her forehead harder against Violet's, and held it there for a bit longer, as Violet didn't want Maya to leave her just as much. Violet softly whispers, "What are we going to do?"
Maya wishes she knew the answer to that question, but she doesn't. "I wish the hell I knew." Maya rubs Violet's cheek with her thumb and kisses her forehead tenderly. Maya breathes a heavy sigh as she gets up from the old mattress and goes over to put on her clothes that Violet took off of her last night in a moment of passion. As Maya reapplies her clothes, she sees Violet walking up and eyeing her. Maya puts on her father's tribal jacket and smiles bittersweetly at her lover.
Violet, still not wanting to see Maya go, comes to her and places her hand in hers, "At least let me walk you as far to the border of my school goes." Maya looks at Violet in a bit of surprise. Violet glances down a little, then back up at her, "Yeah, I brought you close to Ericson last night. This, here, is where we fish, while another part is where we hunt rabbits and catch game with our traps. I feel you belong here and I trust you, despite what Clementine thinks of you. You prove your loyalty to me last night, and you won't betray or hurt me, or put anyone else I care for in danger." Violet then closes the fishing shack door and laces her fingers to Maya's.
Maya felt honored and softly said, "Thank you." The air was cold as winter was on its way. However, the warmness of Violet's touch made the walk barrable. They walked until they reached the end of the road, where they had to part ways. Maya felt the necklace she made Violet in her jacket that she planned to give to her yesterday but got caught up in her romance with her. Maya takes out the carved necklace and pauses in her step with Violet, "I meant to give this to you yesterday." Maya places the necklace around Violet's neck. "Your very own animal spirit totem. Normally there will be a big ceremony thing that is significant to this moment in my culture, but...due to unfortunate life events of the world turning upside down, I will give you the short version."
Violet looks at the animal that was hand carved to fine detail, and her heart stops as she looks into Maya's eyes. "Maya-"
Maya came forward and put a finger to Violet's lips to keep her from talking, "I made you a panther because the panther speaks to who you are, Vi. Protection, hidden emotions, introspection, caution, careful decision-making, and a representation of dark and light. You, my love, are a panther in this world. Keep it close to you when you find yourself missing me or need strength and guidance. I love you." Maya plants a kiss on Violet's cheek and glances into Violet's green eyes.
Violet looks into her lover's brown eyes and smiles at Maya's gift. Violet moves forward to kiss Maya one last time before they part to return to their groups. Violet kisses Maya as she has never kissed anyone before and tugs on Maya's tribal jacket to make the kiss more meaningful, and as a statement, her heart is bonded to Maya's. After a moment of soft making out, Violet pulled back her lips as she repeated the exact words back, "I love you too, Maya. Stay safe, and come back to me." Violet looks down at her new necklace and then at Maya, "I will keep this and you forever in my heart." Violet clutches the necklace and smiles at Maya.
Maya returns Violet's smile and lightly strokes her face with her thumb. With a heavy heart, Maya leaves the beautiful sight of Violet's pretty face and her damn beautiful green eyes that get Maya's heart pounding every time she looks into those sexy light green pools.
Violet watches Maya leave to go back to her camp and stood there until she no longer sees Maya's figure. Violet sighs as she turns to head back to Ericson with emptiness in her heart of Maya not coming back to her room with her. She reaches for the necklace and held it close to her heart and hearing those words Maya spoke to her, Keep it close to you when you find yourself missing me or need strength and guidance. I love you. Violet said out loud as she walks a slow pace back, "I love you too my sweet rugged warrior. You are the love of my life."
...........................
Clementine slept soundly in Louis's arms holding her throughout the night, and it was a peaceful night between the two of them. Neither one of them woken up to terrible nightmares the other has to try and comfort the other person to help them through the terror they are feeling. Clementine's nightmares of the ranch still get to her but it is not as often as before, now that she is safe in her new home. She still struggles with her new trauma of AJ cutting off her leg, and she needs Louis's help to get her through tough nights, but as far as the nightmares, she rarely gets them. Louis on the other hand still suffers from his trauma of what happened on the boat when rescuing their friends. His first kill of a living person still haunts him even long after the event happened. Clementine wishes she could take his pain away so he doesn't suffer. She wishes he didn't have to be the one to kill for her in order to protect her from harm, but at the same time, she is grateful.
The sun rays shine through Clementine and Louis's bedroom window as a sign that morning has broken. Louis's eyes slowly open to find Clementine on her side facing him and his jacket draped over her waist as she softly breathes in and out of her dream world. Louis smiles big watching her sleep. He couldn't help but put a lock of her hair behind her ears as she twitches a bit from his touch. He knows she is in a deep sleep when she doesn't stir from his touch.
Louis then runs his fingers down her shoulder as he lightly rubs it. Her brand of whatever symbol it is clearly is visible with the sunlight dappling her skin. Louis wonders what her scar means and why. It pains him to see her endure that much. Clementine slowly begins to stir awake and Louis quickly closes his eyes pretending he was not awake.
Clementine slowly opens up her amber eyes as the bright sun was peering through the windows. Clementine then gazes upon Louis and what they did last night and notice some marks were left on his neck. Her smile widens a bit as she gave love bites to him during their most intense moment. Clementine smiles at the memory of him and her being truly intimate with each other and making love. She wants more of that feeling but knows AJ will be coming in soon, and she doesn't want him to see her like this or know what she and Louis did.
Louis then opens his eyes slightly as Clementine doesn't say a word but her eyes spoke for her. Louis caught on to her gaze and moves closer to her lips as she did the same. His hand found hers, as she laces her fingers to his. They were eyeing each other and just when Louis made the move to lock his lips to hers the door handle jiggles a bit. Clementine flung out of her love gaze with Louis and move apart from him so fast he didn't have time to process it. She had just enough time to put on her white undershirt and Louis's jacket and made it onto her bed and under the covers before the door opened up.
Louis had never seen Clementine move that quickly and before he knew it AJ comes through the door. Thank God he is still wrapped up in the sheets, but he saw the look in Clementine's eyes that she didn't want her somewhat surrogate son to see her like that or get any ideas.
"Good morning Cle−" AJ said as he looks at the scene before him. "What did you and Louis do last night?"
"Uh.." Clementine tries to come up with a story without giving away her first sexual experience. She glances at Louis for help.
Louis caught on and then made up a scenario that will not embarrass her. "We had a pillow fort and played Truth and Dare. Clem dared me to sleep on the floor the whole night through and made a bet with me that I wouldn't last 2 hours. I guess I made it all throughout the night so she owns me my night watch." Louis looks at Clementine and winks at her. She is grateful for the made-up kind of lie. "And before you ask what happened to the fort, clumsy me knocked it over doing another one of Clementine's dares. Had to do a headstand. Obviously, it didn't end too well, which cause the demolition of our fort."
AJ looks at Clementine, "You dared Louis to sleep on the floor. That is mean."
Clementine giggles at that and plays along with Louis's little white lie tale, "Yes, well I had to be creative somehow with my dares."
AJ then notices Clementine wearing Louis's jacket, "Is part of the dare you wearing Louis's jacket?"
Clementine smiles and replies, "Yes. I also dared him to not sleep with his jacket on as well."
AJ looks at Louis who is not wearing his green shirt and scans the room until he spots it next to Clementine's denim jean jacket and her white zip-up hoodie. "Louis, why is your shirt off and with Clementine's jacket?"
Panic sets in on both of the teenagers blushing faces. Clementine cannot answer that but Louis is a smooth talker to get out of it, "I got a bit warm last night little man, so I took off my shirt. Clem already took her jacket off early on before we played truth or dare." Thank God he didn't spot both of their pants that is covered up by the sheets.
Before AJ asks any more questions, Clementine then intervenes and speaks to her adoptive son, "AJ can you give Louis and I a moment to get up? "
"But we are supposed to be on watch lookout this morning. Your scheduling remember?" AJ looks at her.
"Right forgot about that." Clementine half curses herself for making plans ahead of time. She then looks into AJ's soft brown eyes; "Can you give me five minutes kiddo, please," Clementine said bargaining with him. "Just five. I promise."
"Okay," AJ said as he turns and walks out closing the door behind him.
Once AJ left the room Clementine heaves a sigh of relief. "Well, that was close."
"Yeah, super close. Hope we didn't scar him too badly," Louis looks at her.
"I don't think we did. He didn't really suspect anything." Clementine answers him. She pauses to look at her boyfriend and smiles, "You are a smooth talker to think quickly on your feet." Clementine said complimenting Louis on his storytelling.
"Had years of practicing, darling with that." Louis smirks, which made Clementine, giggle a little.
Clementine then looks down at the floor as she spoke out loud. "Although I hate lying to him even though it was a little untrue with the details of your story," Clementine said.
"Yeah, but it is only a little lie. AJ doesn't need to know of sex just quite yet, and especially what we.... uh did last night." Louis reassures her a little. She can tell his cheeks are blushing.
"True. But he will learn about it eventually from Willy." Clementine pointed out.
"Well, we will cross that bridge when we get to it." Louis glances up into her golden eyes.
Clementine smiles at Louis then breaks the conversation a bit, "Well, I told AJ five minutes and he will hold me to that, so can you find the rest of my clothes since you are closer." Clementine said as she looks away blushing.
Louis nods to that and reaches for Clementine's sexy jean jacket and her stained white hoodie. He hands her those as he goes fishing under the sea of sheets for her pants and underwear. He found it next to his and the scattered deck of cards. Louis comes back up from underneath the sheets and hands them off to her. Clementine took them face blushing a bit. Louis loves it when she is like this, unsure of herself. He wanted to grab that arm and pull her back down to where he is and kiss her passionately again like last night. Clementine shyly re-dresses herself to be modest again. Louis does the same as he puts on his pants.
When Clementine reaches for her boot to put it on, Louis looks up at her and smiles a lovely smile, "Just so you know, in case we don't have time to discuss this, you were amazing last night."
Clementine pauses in her lacing up her boot looks at him, and blushes a bit more to Louis's compliment, "Thanks." She glances down at the floor for a second then looks up into Louis's eyes, "You were amazing as well. And....would love to do that again sometime with you in the future. Felt amazing and thrilling. And you with your shirt off is making me, a bit crazy."
Louis then looks at her and was about to get up and have a lip lock with her, but she finishes by lacing up her one and only boot. Clem grabs her prosthetic foot and puts it on like a champ with no issues anymore, and soon gets up and goes to the door. She pauses at the handle and turns to look at him, "You know if AJ hadn't come in the way he did. I would have possibly wanted to go for another round....with you." Louis looks at her and his smile grows. She returns the same smile to him, and then she said out loud this time without hesitation in her voice, "I love you."
Louis then returns the phrase back to her, "I love you back, and I too would have as well, especially you wearing my jacket. Makes my heart melt for you." Clementine and Louis share the loving gaze again. Louis then adds in as the last comment, "You know that your face is glowing right."
Clementine giggles and lightly, in a joking matter, replies, "Shut up." Clementine turns to head out of the room where AJ is waiting in the hallway as she approaches him with a big dorky grin on her face.

so i’m a renter but my landlord is the most laid back landlord ever. she knows i’m big on bio diversity and love plants so she has given me free reign.
my neighbors….. ugh. my neighbors.
on one side is an abandoned house that is currently mid restoration - love them. on the other side is house on a tiny lot. i should have known they were going to be problematic for me when they took out the ONLY garden bed to fill the entire “yard” with gravel. one of their tenants loves to garden but they restrict him to a potted garden only - no beds. the tenant used to mow my lawn for pretty cheap and i didn’t mind because i wasn’t able to work from home yet and didn’t have the capacity to start looking at what native gardening would entail. the tenant who kept the yard trimmed was always trimming the grass to less than .5” which is far too short when you have dogs and 90*+ days. so it always looked burnt and dead (because i refuse to pay for the amount of water that would be needed to keep it green when it’s that short)
whatever.
fast forward. the owner of the neighboring property decided he and his gf needed an RV to travel and that my landlord needed to trim the trees so he could park the RV between our houses. TURNS OUT HE DEMANDED MY LANDLORD COMPLETELY REMOVE THE TREES. so now my house gets NO SHADE and is soooo hot. (we don’t have AC in this part of the state) then the RV he bought doesn’t even fit there because it’s too long for his property and he doesn’t even travel with it……. 🙃
now the tenant who used to mow my lawn is aging pretty rapidly and isn’t as able to help with my yard. totally fine! i have the time now to do it but i do like my grass to be tall so i don’t have to water it very often. i’ve told them this multiple times.
i wake up this morning and look out and my front yard has been cut down to less than .5” and looks dead AF now.
i’m livid.
i’ve now scheduled for a friend and their spouse to come visit and help me plant ALL THE WILDFLOWERS around the perimeter of my property.
ugh!!! city life is not for me.

Full dislcaimer below. TL;DR: We're not Bethesda staff, this is an automated post.

Filthy Casual Links

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From Bethesda.net

Read on to catch a preview of the latest and greatest items and offers that are currently available in the Atomic Shop, including this week's free items.

Free Items

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Tired of people raiding your CAMP? Give yourself a brake and grab this Gutted Car Gate, available for all Fallout 1st Members until June 6.
Channel your inner metal with the Chain License Plate Photomode Frame. Get it free until June 6.

Item	Available Until
Gutted Car Gate (Fallout 1st)	June 6
Chain License Plate Photomode Frame	June 6

Visit the Atomic Shop on these days to claim a different reward, like consumables, in-game currencies, and more. Each of the items below is available until 12:00 p.m. ET the following day.

Item	Available on
Free Scout's Banner	May 30
Caps x250	May 31
Repair Kit	June 1
Scout's Banner	June 2
Legendary Scrip x50	June 3
Lunchbox	June 4
Repair Kit	June 5

Limited Time Offers

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With the Drive-in Dolly Bundle, you can create the ultimate diner experience! Available for a limited time.

Item	Atom price
Drive-in Dolly Bundle	1400
Mistress of Mystery Bundle	1800
Drive-In Dolly Outfit	700
Neon Sign - Nuka Quantum	300
Hot Rod Power Armor Bench Model	700
Sugar Bombs Pip-Boy Paint	600
Tire Toilet Outhouse	300
Unstoppables! Bed	300
The Unstoppables Stash	500

The Drive-in Dolly Bundle includes: * Drive-In Dolly Outfit * Neon Sign - Nuka Quantum * Hot Rod Power Armor Station * Wave Pose * So Hungry Emote * Sugar Bombs Pip-Boy Paint * Tire Toilet Outhouse * Corvega Diner Seat * Hot rod on blocks
The Mistress of Mystery Bundle includes: * Mistress of Mystery PA Paint Set * Mistress of Mystery Sidekick Costume and Underarmor * Mistress of Mystery Sidekick Mask * Mistress of Mystery Player Icon * Unstoppables! Bed * The Unstoppables Stash

Last Week

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Some of last week's items are still available for a limited time.

Item	Atom Price
Bowling Team Bundle	1200
Bad Idea Bundle	1200
Doll Set Bundle	600
Bowling Ball Loot Bag	500
Big Fill & Bigger Fill Ceiling Light	350
Antique Gas Pump Brewing Workbench	500
Flame-ingo Paint (Flamer)	500
Daredevil Bodysuit w/ Helmet	800
Annebelle Porcelain Doll	250

The Bowling Team Bundle includes: * Bowling Ball Rack Display Case with 5 Balls * Black Alley Cats Bowling Ball * Vault 76 Blue Bowling Ball * Gold Hornwright Bowling Ball * Red Atom Bomb Bowling Ball * Resin Vault Boy Bowling Ball * Alley Cats Bowling team outfit * Big Fill Lights * Bowling Ball Loot Bag
The Bad Idea Bundle includes: * Antique Gas Pump Brewing Workbench * Flame-ingo Weapon Skin * Nuclear Glare Pose * Daredevil Bodysuit w/ Helmet
The Doll Set Bundle includes: * Annabelle Porcelain Doll * Porcelain Doll * Heirloom Blue Porcelain Doll

Greatest Hits

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Some of our favorite items have returned to the shop for a limited time. Each item listed below is available until 12:00 p.m. ET on June 6.

Item	Atom Price
Clean Bathroom Bundle	1800 1440 (20% off!)
Red Rocket Garage Bundle	1200 960 (20% off!)
West Virginia Outfit Bundle	1000 800 (20% off!)
Plague Rider Power Armor Skin	1400 1120 (20% off!)
Poodle Skirt and Blouse	700 560 (20% off!)
Brotherhood of Steel Armory	700 560 (20% off!)
Sports Nostalgia Wallpaper	500 400 (20% off!)
Sitting Pose	150 120 (20% off!)
Free States Salute	200 160 (20% off!)

Headed for the Vault

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Some existing items are heading out of the Atomic Shop and into the Vault this week. Be sure to pick up anything that catches your eye, because these items will only be available until 12:00 p.m. ET on June 6.

Item	Atom Price
New Home Mega-Bundle	2500 1750 (30% off!)
Destroyed Camp Bundle	1800 1260 (30% off!)
Shadow Prime PA Bundle	2000 1400 (30% off!)
Get Off My Lawn Bundle	1500 1050 (30% off!)
Blueridge Caravan Persona Bundle	1800 1260 (30% off!)
Camden Park Mega-Bundle	1800 1260 (30% off!)
Fire Chief Responder Outfit Bundle	1200 840 (30% off!)
Cultist Dungeon Bundle	1200 840 (30% off!)
Skiing Bundle	750 525 (30% off!)

Weekly Offers

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Check out the daily deals this week in the Atomic Shop! Each of the items below is available until 12:00 p.m. ET the following day.

Item	Atom Price	Available From	Available Until
Amateur Inventor's Laser Gun (Fallout 1st)	500 250 (50% off!)	May 30	June 6
Farm Life Bundle (Fallout 1st)	1500 1125 (25% off!)	May 30	June 6
Home Sweet Home Frame	200 100 (50% off!)	May 30	May 31
Inspector Sleeping Bag	500 250 (50% off!)	May 31	June 1
Frostbite Paint (Flamer)	400 200 (50% off!)	June 1	June 2
Responders Backpack	500 250 (50% off!) (50% off!)	June 2	June 3
Double Headed Chally Costume	800 400 (50% off!)	June 3	June 4
Vault-Tec Prototype Water Purifier	300 150 (50% off!)	June 4	June 5
Playtime Power Armor Paint Set	1000 500 (50% off!)	June 5	June 6

Previous Posts

Title	Post Date
Atomic Shop Weekly Update: May 23 – May 30	2023-05-23 16:10:05
Atomic Shop Weekly Update: May 16 – May 23	2023-05-16 16:50:05
Atomic Shop Weekly Update: May 9 – May 16	2023-05-09 19:00:04
Atomic Shop Weekly Update: May 2 – May 9	2023-05-03 15:10:04
Meet Ellys Tan, Quest Designer at Bethesda Game Studios	2023-04-28 16:00:04

From FC Mods

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Caffeine has always had a soothing effect on me. Even as a teen, it never gave me energy or the jitters.
I’ve been on Vyvanse 30mg for a dews months now. It’s been helping me a lot with my anxiety and helping a decent amount with my executive functioning. But, I’ve been really fatigued during the days (despite generally having the best sleep schedule of my life).
When I have my mid morning cup of coffee, I’ve been struggling to stay awake. I feel like I’ve been more tired after having caffeine? I’m used to coffee mellowing me out, but I’m straight up falling asleep if I sit down and enjoy a cup. To be fair, I’m drowsy regardless of what I drink, so maybe this is all in my head.
Does anyone else have any experiences like this?

I don't know how to pull myself from the cycle I've been living for so long. This is probably my 20th time trying to "fix my life" but every time I try, I end up falling back into my same old ways. Currently, I have no hobbies at all nor have I ever really had any hobbies that bring me any kind of joy. Right now my life is me waking up, going to work, coming home, mindlessly watching youtube or finding a game to play, forcing myself to play a game that I don't even enjoy but instead to just fill the empty void in myself and then going to sleep. The days I hang out with my girlfriend are kind of the same. I do enjoy her coming over but I'm always just so bored with everything and I'm never 100% fully enjoying my time with her because I don't enjoy anything which I feel guilty about saying. I have some things that I think I would enjoy if I stuck with them for a while but I can never do them for very long and it feels like I'm forcing myself to do things and forcing myself to enjoy them even when I am not such as skateboarding, playing guitar, and drawing. I am seriously so stuck and I'm so sick of living like this. All I want to do is listen to music all day and sit here but also I don't want to do that, its very complicated. I feel like I'm wasting my life away listening to music all day long. I know deep down no matter how hard I try to find things I like, I'll never enjoy anything and it sucks. What is the point of living if this is my life forever? I might add that I obviously have serious mentall illness but I can not treat any of it because I am a broke 22 year old that can barely afford to pay my bills working overtime every week. Also, I have horrible experiences with the therapists in the town I live in. I have BPD, schizo personality disorder, major depressive disorder and some more less severe ones. I don't have any friends at all and I don't really want any (in this town atleast) and I have no family members.

Summary: It’s that time of the year again. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, everything is blooming… and you’re out there, dying from hay fever. Today has been particularly awful because your job required you to be outdoors for several hours. After returning home, you’re a sneezing, itchy mess. Thankfully, your doting and caring partner is there to take care of you. They’ll do anything to make you feel better, even if it means going out to buy the entire stock of tissues at the grocery store.
*****
Key:
(Words in parenthesis): Sound effects
[Words in brackets]: The Speaker’s actions
“Words in quotation marks”: The Speaker’s lines
Words in italics: Scene change
*****
General Notes: This was a silly idea I had while working on my lengthier, more challenging projects. The inspiration for this one, unfortunately, comes from my current battle with seasonal allergies, haha. As a side note, in the script, I use the term, “Gesundheit” in place of “Bless you” after the Listener sneezes. For anyone who doesn’t know, the word means, “health”, or in this context, “good health.” I actually say, “Gesundheit” in real life, so I decided to write that in.
Notes on Usage: You may record this script for an audio, but I do need to be credited. I would very much like to listen to it, so please send me a link so I can follow up. Certain types of monetization are fine (like YouTube), but please do not paywall this or any of my scripts. As for the script itself, you may edit the genders and you may change the title to “Your Boyfriend or Girlfriend” if you would like to. Please keep the rest of the writing the same, however. If you have any questions, feel free to send me a message. Thank you!
*****
Setting: The Speaker and the Listener’s home
(The front door opens and closes. Footsteps approach.)
“Welcome home, sweetheart! How was your…”
[Interrupted pause to take in the Listener’s appearance]
“…Your eyes are red, and so is your nose. You look like you’ve been crying. Did something happen at work that’s made you upset?”
[Pause]
“…Nothing bad happened?”
[Pause]
“I’m glad to hear there wasn’t a work catastrophe. That still doesn’t explain why it looks like you’ve had a rough day. You do know that if anything is bothering you, you can always come to me, right? Whatever it is, I’ll listen and help you through it. I promise.”
(A sneeze, coming from the Listener.)
“Gesundheit! Here, let me grab you a tissue…”
(A tissue is pulled from a box.)
“You’re welcome, sweetheart. Wait a minute…”
[Pause as the realization sinks in]
“It’s your allergies, isn’t it? They’re acting up today.”
[Pause]
“Why didn’t you just say that from the beginning?”
[Pause]
"It is a big deal. Allergies are nothing to downplay. I can tell you’re struggling, even though you’re putting on a brave face. This time of year is always difficult for you, but you seem more affected than usual. Did you spend a lot of time outside today?”
[Pause]
“You were out there for most of the morning and afternoon?”
[Pause]
“I’m so sorry. That must have been really exhausting and uncomfortable. Come here.”
[Pause for a hug and a gentle kiss]
“You’re home now, so you’re safe from all those nasty, harmful things outside. I’m here, sweetheart. I’m right here, and I’ll take care of you.”
[Pause]
“You don’t have to thank me. I’m always happy to take care of you. Now, for the first order of business, let’s get you out of these work clothes…”
[Pause]
“Oh, stop smirking at me. I didn’t mean it like that!”
[Pause to chuckle]
“You have such a dirty mind.”
[Pause]
“You’re right – I do love it. But, that’s beside the point.”
[Pause]
“Aww, don’t pout. We’ll have plenty of time for that later. Right now, I have to make sure you’re not going to die from your allergies.”
[Pause]
“You can give me your bedroom eyes all you want, but I’m still not going to change my mind. Let’s get you feeling better, and then you can have your wicked way with me, okay?”
[Pause]
“Good. As I was saying…you should remove your clothes because they probably have a lot of allergens on them.”
[Pause]
“Yes, you could put your pajamas on, but how about I draw you a bath first? That way, you can stretch out and relax for a while. After the day you’ve had, it sounds like you could use something to loosen and soothe your muscles.”
[Pause]
“Mhhm, I’d love to join you, but I have to run out to get a few items.”
[Pause]
“You want to know what we could possibly need?”
[Pause]
“Well, we’re going to need more tissues since we’re down to our last box. I also noticed that you finished your bottle of eyedrops last night, so I’ll replace that with a new one. Speaking of things that you've been doing at night, you’ve been drinking more of your ginger tea. At first, I wasn’t sure why, but now that I think about it, the tea probably helps to alleviate some of the symptoms, at least enough for you to sleep. I’ll stock up on that as well. And to be completely honest, I’m not sure how effective your current allergy med is. It hardly seems like it’s touching your allergies. I know how annoying it can be to change meds, but it might be time to try something new. I’ll pick up a couple of options, so you can see which one works for you.”
[Pause]
“…What’s with the look?”
[Pause]
“No, you’re definitely giving me a look. And I can’t decipher it. You have this adorable, little smile on your lips, but your eyebrows are furrowed, like you’re trying to figure something out. Was it what I said? Did it any of it weird you out?”
[Pause]
“No? Then, what is it? What’s going on in that beautiful head of yours?”
[Pause]
“You’re…surprised that anyone would care enough to pay attention to the little things about you.”
[Pause]
“I do care. Very much so. As your partner, I’m supposed to know you, and that means learning and understanding your likes, dislikes, the subtleties in your behavior, and your quirks.”
[Pause]
“Thank you for saying that, but I’m the lucky one here.”
[Pause to kiss]
“Give me a couple of minutes and I’ll have that bath ready for you.”
(The sound of retreating footsteps. The water begins running in the bathroom. A flicker of a lighter to light some candles.)
“Sweetheart! You can come in now.”
[Pause to groan]
“You just had to wear your silk robe, didn’t you? You know what that does to me.”
[Pause to sigh]
“Exactly. You’re making it very difficult for me to concentrate.”
[Pause]
“Yes, really. And stop biting your lip like that. Your seduction tactics aren’t going to work on me. Not this time.”
[Pause]
“On the contrary, I find you extremely attractive right now, even with your sniffly nose and bloodshot eyes.”
[Pause]
“I’m not joking. You’re always gorgeous.”
[Pause]
“Of course I mean it.”
[Pause]
“We’re getting off-topic again. You’re here for a reason, and that is to take a nice, long soak. I just tested the temperature of the water, so it should still be hot. If you're not too congested, you should notice the scent in the water. It's from your favorite bubble bath - the lavender and mint one. And in case you’d like to do something while you’re relaxing, I left the novel you’re currently reading on the bathroom counter, along with a mug of your ginger tea and a plate of those shortbread cookies you like so much. Last, but certainly not least, I lit candles to add to the overall ambiance.”
[Pause]
“I’m glad you think it looks like paradise in here. Hopefully, it feels that way, too.”
[Pause to chuckle]
“I’m perfectly aware that I could join you and find out if this really feels like paradise, but I should get going. Don’t worry, I won’t be gone for too long.”
[Pause]
“Yes, I can handle dinner tonight. You didn’t even have to ask – I was planning on it anyway. Would you like me to cook something, or would you like to order takeout?”
[Pause]
“You’d like soup from the bistro around the corner?”
[Pause]
“Yeah, I can stop by after I visit the store. It’s no problem at all.”
[Pause to chuckle]
“Yes, I know which soup to order. You’ll also want the French baguette, rather than the oyster crackers.”
[Pause]
“Like I said, I know you. Your food preferences were one of the first things I learned about you, actually. Now, enjoy your bath, sweetheart. I’ll see you soon.”
[Pause to kiss]
(The sound of footsteps retreating. A car engine begins.)
A little while later, the Speaker arrives home, juggling what appears to be a massive number of bags.
(The front door opens and closes gently. The rustling of bags as they are set down.)
“Hey, sweetheart. What are you doing out here in the living room? I thought you’d be in the bathtub for a while longer.”
[Pause to chuckle]
“Okay, that is a valid excuse to leave. I don’t like it when my skin starts to prune, either.”
(The sound of the Listener going through the bags.)
“Oh, these? Um…I might have gotten a little carried away when I was at the store. In my defense, I wanted to make sure you had everything you could possibly want or need!”
[Pause to chuckle]
“Yes, it was absolutely necessary to buy out the entire stock of tissues. It wasn’t like they had that many anyway. It was just a few dozen.”
[Pause]
“C’mon, 48 boxes isn’t that bad.”
[Pause]
“All right, fine. It is a bit…much. The cashier was having a field day, though. He kept laughing at me, saying this was like The Great Toilet Paper Hoarding of 2020.”
[Pause]
“Stop laughing! I only did what I thought was best.”
[Pause]
“Yes, I know I’m ridiculous. Hey, you asked me out first, and you’re still dating me, three years later. So, really, who’s the ridiculous one here?”
[Pause to chuckle]
“Still me? That’s what I thought you’d say.”
[Slightly longer pause]
“How are you feeling? Did the bath help?”
[Pause]
“Good, I’m glad. You do look much more at ease than when you first arrived home. Your eyes are still red, though. Are they itchy at all?”
[Pause]
“A bit? Hmm, now is probably a good time to put some eye drops in. I purchased the same brand that you normally use.”
(Rustling of a bag as the Speaker reaches into it.)
“Here it is.”
[Pause]
“You look like you’re about to ask me something, but you’re hesitating. What is it, sweetheart?”
[Pause]
“You’d like me to help you with the eye drops?”
[Pause]
“Sure, I can do that. Just let me put these items away first, and then I’ll give you my undivided attention. Which spot is more comfortable for you to do this? The couch or the bedroom?”
[Pause]
“The couch? That works. Oh, I have your soup, too. Would you like that after the eye drops or later tonight?”
[Pause]
“Later it is then. I’ll keep it in the fridge for now.”
(Cabinets open and close.)
(Soft footsteps as the Speaker comes back into the living and sits on the couch.)
“Everything is all set. I’m ready to…”
(The Listener sneezes again.)
“Gesundheit!”
(Another tissue is pulled from the box.)
“Here’s another tissue.”
[Pause]
“Sweetheart, you are not a gross mess. I told you, you’re always beautiful.”
[Pause]
“Yes, you’re beautiful, even when you’re sneezing up a storm and blowing your nose. Only you could make any of that even remotely cute.”
[Pause to chuckle]
“Do you feel okay enough to lie down, so I can put the drops in?”
[Pause]
“Good. Here, place your head in my lap.”
[Pause]
“There you go. Are you comfortable?”
[Pause]
“Good. On the count of three, I’ll place two drops in the right eye, okay?”
[Pause]
“One…two…three.”
[Pause]
“I’m sorry. I know it stings, sweetheart. It’ll be over soon, I promise. Take a deep breath for me.”
(Sounds of breathing.)
“Are you all right?”
[Pause]
“Good. Are you ready for the other eye?”
[Pause]
“Okay, I’ll count to three again.”
[Pause]
“One…two…three.”
[Pause]
“You did a great job with that one. You hardly reacted at all.”
[Pause]
“Can you open your eyes so I can see if the redness has improved?”
[Pause]
“They’re looking much better now. Do they still itch?”
[Pause]
“No? That’s good. I’m relieved to hear that.”
[Pause]
“Sure, you can close your eyes. Relax, sweetheart. We can stay here for as long as you’d like to. There’s nowhere else I need to be, nor is there anything else I have to do. This time is all yours.”
[Pause]
“You like the sound of that? Mhhm, me too.”
[Pause]
“Would it be all right if I ran my fingers through your hair? It’s comforting for me, and I think it is for you, too.”
[Pause]
“Thank you.”
(Sounds of the Speaker’s fingers running through the Listener’s hair – light scratching.)
“How does that feel?”
[Pause]
“Like you’re on cloud nine? Hmm, that is a big compliment.”
[Pause to sigh, dreamily]
“Your hair is so soft and silky. I can’t get over how amazing it feels between my fingers.”
[Pause to chuckle]
“Yes, that’s why I make up every excuse to touch it. I especially love it when you first wake up and roll over. You always have a strand of hair that falls across your forehead, and I tuck it behind your ear each morning.”
[Pause]
“Mhmm, that is a part of our morning routine, you’re right. Well, that and the ton of kisses that follow it.”
[Pause]
“I love every part of our routine, sweetheart. Even the part where you throw me out of bed because I’ve made us late for work…again.”
[Pause to chuckle]
“Speaking of things we usually do every day, tell me about your day. How was work?”
[Pause]
“Wait, that’s why you were outdoors for so long?”
[Pause]
“Your boss thought it was a great day for team building, so you had to travel by foot to complete a scavenger hunt around town?”
[Pause to chuckle in disbelief]
“Wow, and I thought my workplace was strange. The last time we tried team building, someone got punched, and that was a whole HR nightmare. Do you remember the Escape Room Incident last fall?”
[Pause]
“Yeah, that’s the one. We’re still dealing with the repercussions from that. Anyway, did you have fun doing the scavenger hunt, at least?”
[Pause]
“That’s good. It sounds like your sneezing and itchy eyes weren’t completely in vain then. Still, I’m sorry your allergies made things more difficult today. Hopefully, switching to a new med will help. There are two kinds that you haven’t tried yet, so I bought both. They’re in the medicine cabinet now.”
[Pause]
“What do you mean you’ll really get a chance to put a new med to the test? Will you be outside for another extended period of time?”
[Pause]
“You have a team building exercise on Friday? What is it this time?”
[Pause to chuckle in disbelief]
“Kickball, really?”
[Pause]
“Okay, your company takes the cake for being the weirdest. Although… if I’m being honest, it’s probably the most enjoyable as well.”
[Pause]
“Oh, the game is open to the employees’ spouses and partners? Do you mean as spectators or players?”
[Pause]
“I see. They're allowed to be players. That is pretty cool. You know, you’re doing that thing where you’re trying to be coy, but I can see right through it. This your way of asking if I’ll play, isn’t it?”
[Pause]
“I’d love to. But, wait… if this is a team-building exercise, then wouldn’t you be with your coworkers? That would mean… all the spouses and partners would be on the same team. So…we’d be competing against each other.”
[Pause]
“No, I’m not scared! Far from it. You’re the one who should be afraid. I’m going to destroy you at kickball. Just you wait.”
[Pause]
“Mhhm, wanna bet on it?”
[Pause]
“Yeah? If that’s what you want, then I’d be stupid to refuse. And what do I get if I win?”
[Pause to chuckle]
“Oh, I’ll definitely agree to those terms.”
[Slightly longer pause]
“You’re starting to look sleepy, sweetheart. Today has taken a toll on you, so you’re probably ready for a well-deserved nap. We’ll come back to this conversation, all right? For now, just rest. I’ve got you.”
[Pause]
“I’m sure. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be. Sleep well, sweetheart. I love you.”
[Pause to kiss gently]

First Previous
Chapter 14: A Pleasant Game of Skirmish
Due to the distance between Earth and Cradle, multiple jumps were required. As such, major worlds in between the two points were designated and added to the jump list. While it extended the time it would take to get there, it would be worth it to gather more information on humanity. When jumping into a system, the Into the Black would do a detailed scan on every major planet, circling them if need be. Each system would take hours to record, but the new potential discoveries more than made up for it.
Meanwhile, life on the ship continued. Vigil in particular found himself wandering the upper decks, as Glevar had forbidden him from “escorting” Irudo while he was at work. Hesitant at first, Vigil left, believing he was in capable hands. Now, with no purpose, he was left to his own devices.
Thoughts of the garden kept popping up in his mind. Wishing to sate his curiosity, he gradually made his way over to it. Passing through the checkpoint, he was greeted with a wall of greenery. Small paths meandered through the small forest, while larger paths ringed the exterior.
Picking one of the smaller paths at random, Vigil walked down it, surrounded by life and serenity. The vegetation was both alien and yet familiar at the same time. Large trees with rough brown bark stretched upwards, topped by green leaves. Some were not completely the same as Earth vegetation, however.
Some of the tree trunks had a much darker, reddish hue, and wicked looking spikes lining them. While others had red or even purple leaves. Those with spikes had signs with foreign words set in the ground beside them, adorned by artwork depicting a mouth eating the tree with a large X. Going by this, Vigil assumed they were not edible. Why anyone wanted to eat the trees, he could not fathom. Apparently, though, the signs did not pertain to the wildlife transplanted onto the ship. A small creature with eyes nearly as large as its head, a jet black body covered in fur, and a long bushy tail, sat munching on the leaves of the tree. All the while staring at Vigil, curious as to who was intruding on its lunch.
Another oddity was the “grass”, if one could call it that. The plant in question blanketed the forest floor. It was bluish green with razor thin blades, more filament than proper leaf. Though it was extremely thin, it grew so dense that fallen debris, such as leaves and twigs, seemed to float above it.
Possibly deadly tree’s and strange grass aside… it was… enjoyable. It was nice to be so far away from war, yet confusing at the same time. He had no purpose here, no reason. Was it truly fine for him to stop? To lie down his sword, so to speak?
A beautiful flower off the path caught his eye. It had yet to unfurl its white petals for the day. Wanting to observe the flower in greater detail, Vigil stepped off the path and walked over. He kneeled down before it, taking in every aspect of its design. He reached out and stroked a petal. He did so agonizingly slow and gentle, yet even that was not enough to prevent harm to the frail life before him.
His finger ripped away one of the pure white petals, revealing a crimson red interior. Liquid, whether nectar or something else, leaked from the injury. It too was red, blood red. Surprised, he stood quickly. He did not want to harm the small flower further. Turning away, he paused. He saw his tracks, deep and obtrusive to the natural scenery. Wherever he walked, he had brought death to the surrounding life. Crushing the small filament like vegetation that covered the ground, killing it with each step.
He was reminded then, what his purpose was. He was a weapon, nothing more, nothing less. His purpose was to stand ready, so when the Nemesis came, these new people could wield him. Until he met his end, his purpose was to fight and kill. Forgetting this only brought harm to the world around him, and those existing peacefully within it. He walked back to the path, retracing his steps so to no bring further harm to those undeserving of it. He went back down the path to where he had come and left the garden and all the life within. Lest he bring death to them as well.
-
Elsewhere on the ship, Hran was forbidden from strenuous activity, being injured as he was. Which meant that he was practically useless in the engineering department. Thus, he was given a few of the data banks to work on.
He normally wasn’t able to pick up anything heavy as is, but now he wasn’t even allowed to so much as think of lifting anything that weighed more than him. Since he usually tinkered on things, he had created a sort of nest in the back of the large engineering bay. So, secluded in his little hideaway, he rummaged around in the data banks. Hoping for something useful.
While technically every scrap of information was crucial, he was finding fairly basic things. Knowledge that even the average denizen of the GU knew. Skipping this data bank, he moved on to another, and struck gold. Well, gold to him anyway. The importance of his finding would be graded by his superiors at a later date.
When he had opened the data bank, he had found hundreds of thousands of hours of footage. Not like communicator footage someone would record when something exciting happened, but of combat footage! Combat footage with the Nemesis! If they wanted to learn about the Nemesis and their tactics, this was the best way, aside from Vigil.
Opening the first file, Hran was immediately met with the sounds of gunfire and explosions. He quickly turned down the volume, afraid someone had heard. When no one came snooping, he relaxed and resumed the video.
The gunfire resumed, and a human male barked out some strange words and the wearer of the camera looked to the side. Hran’s eyes widened. He saw only men, dozens of battle-hardened and experienced soldiers. They were in some kind of natural depression in the dirt. Lines of men were running hunched over, keeping their heads low. All around them was dust and smoke, obscuring their view of the battlefield, but they fought regardless. Peeking from above the clouds of dust, were burned and blasted out buildings.
Then, suddenly, a man in armor ravaged by battle pointed behind the soldier with the camera and raised his weapon. The camera whipped around to see several terrifying four armed creatures dashing out of the smoke. Though the human men were already taller than him by several centias, the Nemesis towered over them. They did not hesitate though. They did not run or shirk their duty; they met the charging aliens head on.
Soldiers before the cameraman fired and were cut down by both blade and gun. The Nemesis seemed to favor holding a firearm in their upper two arms and blades in their lower two. Given the close proximity, Hran could see the advantage.
But the humans did not back away, they held their ground. Every bullet or bolt of energy caused the Nemesis to shine at the impact site. Hran ogled the works of engineering. They had personal energy shields! A man directly in front of the cameraman ducked under the blades of one attacker, and shoved the barrel of his weapon into the Nemesis’ side, and pulled the trigger. Circumventing the shield.
The Nemesis roared in pain and outrage, and cut the man in half. Hran choked back vomit. The viscera and gore were not censored of course, giving him a front-row seat to the brutality of war.
The unknown soldier’s death would not be in vain. The cameraman and another soldier rushed the wounded alien and tackled it. The man with the helmet cam straddled the creature and pressed his weapon directly into the underside of the Nemesis’ four eyed helmet.
Hran looked away as brain matter and yellowish alien blood explode from the now dead Nemesis. He felt sick to his stomach watching the battle. This wasn’t some make believe fantasy, some fictional war movie. This was real footage from real people struggling to survive just one more day. Yet… he couldn’t stop watching.
The soldier was back up, and continued to fight, but his time did not last. Another Nemesis took the place of the first, and now it was the cameraman’s turn to be cut down. Hran watched as the world turned sideways, and crimson blood painted the soil. The soldier did not stir. And all the while, the Nemesis and human warriors continued to battle eachother, staining the sandy colored soil with their blood. The video ended soon after the soldier’s death.
Hran was stunned. He had never seen anyone die. And now he had just witnessed the death of dozens. He was lightheaded, and his stomach ached. He gulped down the bile which threatened to pour from his mouth. Humanity had given their lives in defense of an undeserving galaxy. It was because of them he and his people were alive today.
He would bear witness to their final moments and learn all he could. So that if the Nemesis came, they would be ready. Steeling himself, Hran clicked on the next file. Great cannons the size of skyscrapers fired, parting the clouds in waves. As the clouds split, an endless sea of ships were revealed descending from the skies. Hran prepared himself to witness even more death and carnage than before.
-
Kitern was fuming. She understood Tentzonta’s worries, because she herself was wary of Vigil when they first let him wander as he pleased. But after he had literally carried her to safety, that opinion had changed drastically. Vigil was a soldier, just like her. She had killed people in the line of duty, yet no one feared her. Well, maybe a little, but it wasn’t because she had spilled blood. More because of her charming personality.
To top it all off, her damn arm was aching from not being moved in so long. Some might say she was overreacting, but having her arm in a sling felt more like she was being caged, like she was being tied down. It was unnatural to have her body hindered like this.
Of course, it was for her own health. Klofaa had scanned her arm and made certain nothing was broken. The blow had simply dislocated her shoulder and pressed it against the main nerve in her arm, preventing her from being able to move it. Once her shoulder had been re-set, she was able to move it like normal. But that wasn’t enough for Klofaa. She wanted to make absolutely certain Kitern was in no danger, so forced this stupid sling on her.
The feeling in her chest, of being confined and restricted, kept increasing. It was irritating, to say the least. She wanted to blow off some steam, but there wasn’t much she could do with one hand. Kitern paused. She did like watching sports. She could try to start a game of bailok between the crew?
She shook her head and continued walking. No, that required too much work for her to only sit on the sidelines. Besides, most of the crew wouldn’t bother participating. She wondered if Vigil knew any sports? She was sure plenty of people would be interested in playing a human sport.
“Hmmm,” she hummed and scratched her jaw. She couldn’t imagine Vigil playing anything. Even if he did, he would have to play against other mega bipeds, otherwise, he would absolutely destroy the average biped like her. She laughed suddenly. ‘Imagine their faces when they realize the person who whooped their asses is a guy! They would never be able to live that down!’ she thought. The image of a bunch of whiney bailok players came to mind. They already fell over at the slightest touch. If Vigil ran into one of them, armor or not, he would pulverize them.
She stopped again, an idea coming to her. Forget sports like bailok, what about skirmish? It was a simple game, but a blast to play and watch. Easy to set up, too. All you needed was an energy rifle with a dampener on the end to lower its power and a sensor to ping whenever the laser hit. They had all the ingredients they just needed to put them together.
She knew Asteli would jump at the opportunity to play. The spunky Venanian absolutely loved the game. Gre’Namra would follow along with her, and she could always order Onsa and Dentala if they didn’t want to join. She could even play with one arm if she wanted, skirmish laser dampeners worked on nearly all energy weapons after all. The only hard part would be finding everyone.
Grinning, she got to work scouring the ship.
-
Vigil was peacefully watching the blackness of space, his mind set at ease by the void. Something that many found unsettling. The Into the Black was scanning another system, on its way to Cradle. He didn’t recognize it, which was a small blessing. He kept recalling the past and his purpose as of late. Looking at the dead husk of a world he and his brethren had spilled their blood over would do no good.
“FOUND HIM!” a familiar voice screamed, loud enough to scare some of the nearby crew. The observation deck had, well, observation windows to look out into space. In this case, Vigil was at the very end of the large main corridor which ran the length of the ship. As Deck One held numerous amenities for the crew, it was frequented by many. Thus, there were more than a few startled faces.
Vigil turned as Asteli came bounding up to him with Gre’Namra following close behind. “Hey big guy! Captain wants you!”
Vigil looked down at her, “I will report to the bridge immediately,” he replied.
“Not that captain. Commander Kitern,” Gre’Namra clarified, stepping in front of him.
Vigil tilted his head. “Understood. Where am I needed?”
“In the hangar bay! Come on, you’re going to love this!” Asteli practically sang, as she went behind him and attempted to push him along. Her efforts were futile. She simply walked in place, feet slipping on the deck plates. She grunted in excretion. “Come on!”
“Affirmative. I will report to commander Kitern at once.” He stepped forward, causing Asteli to lose her balance and almost fall. Gre’Namra reached out to help stabilize her, before they began following Vigil to the lift.
As soon as the lift doors opened, Asteli rushed out screaming, “I found him!” Before she and Gre’Namra ran into the locker room. Vigil marched orderly to the hanger bay, to find the rest of the marines idly standing around in their armor on the edge of a symmetrical field of crates and containors. Strange black devices decorated their armor. One side was flat to adhere to their armor, while the other had a slight bulge. They were stuck at intervals, correlating with vital areas.
Vigil walked up to Kitern. “Has there been an emergency?”
She shook her head. “If me being pissed as hell counts, then yes. Otherwise, no, there hasn’t been. We’re setting up for a game of skirmish. That’s what the sensors are for,” she said, pointing a claw at a device on Dentala’s helmet, nestled between her horns.
“What is skirmish?” Vigil asked.
“It’s a game you play to simulate a firefight. You put the sensors on your chest, back, head, arms, and legs.” She lifted a laser pistol with a bright blue block on the end of the barrel. “Then you put a dampener on an energy weapon of your choice and shoot eachother. The dampener lowers the power of the beam so that it can’t kill you, just trigger the sensors. It takes five shots to ‘kill’ someone, two if you shoot them in the head. Forgot how many you need if the species has more than one head, though.” She returned her sidearm to its holster and waved a hand dismissively. “Doesn’t matter. Point is, you want to play?”
He thought for a second. While labeled as a game, it would be an efficient tool to maintain combat readiness and test his new allies’ capabilities. They would need to be an efficient fighting force to have a chance against the Nemesis. “Affirmative,” he finally replied.
Kitern chuffed. “Good. Onsa, get this man a gun! Never thought I’d say those words.” She shrugged. “Oh well. If you need me, I’ll be with Shavan putting bets on the winners.”
“Hello down there!” the ship’s quartermaster said upon hearing her name. She waved down at them from a platform being held aloft by a crane which ran along the tracks embedded in the ceiling. She began lowering the platform via a linked data pad.
“Don’t tell the captain about that. It breaks several safety regulations,” Onsa said from the side, handing him a pack of sensors and an energy rifle with a dampener already attached. Vigil looked at them curiously and began putting them on various parts of his body. Meanwhile, Asteli and Gre’Namra returned, now fully armored, and grabbed two more rifles and packets of sensors.
Now high above the “battlefield”, Kitern announced. “If the contestants are ready, you may take your positions!” she said in a haughty voice. She leaned over and elbowed Shavan in the side. “Make sure you record this.”
Shavan chuffed and drawled, “Already ahead of ya.” Then linked her data pad to the hangar’s cameras, pointing them so they covered every inch of the field.
Asteli ran off to one side of the makeshift arena while Onsa and Dentala went to the other. Gre’Namra walked up to Vigil and said, “You’re on our team to help balance things out.” He nodded and followed the two privates to their designated starting point.
Kitern leaned over the hastily assembled railing of her platform, observing the playing field. It was a simple rectangle marked by lines of crates. Each side’s base was ringed by a wall of boxes and containers with gaps to get in and out. Cover was scattered periodically, with head height walls spread around the arena to break line of sight.
Seeing that everyone was at their bases, she called down, “If everyone is ready!” She paused, looking between the two opposing sides. “Begin the slaughter!” There was no bell, shot, or buzzer. Just a simple shout and the two sides were off.
All except for Vigil, who was still standing there while Asteli and Gre’Namra split and ran in opposite directions around a wall that defended the front of their base. Vigil looked back and forth between the two before randomly choosing to go to the right.
Turning the corner, he saw Gre’Namra hunkered behind cover. She was pressing a hand to the deck, concentrating on something. She looked back and saw him and made a hand motion, telling him to get down. Distracted by Gre’Namra, he did not see the two quick flashes from between a stack of crates, which spelled his doom.
The sensor on Vigil’s helmet flashed blue twice in quick succession, and all the sensors lit up. Indicating he was out.
“You’re dead Vigil, go sit on the side,” Kitern called down from her perch. Confused, Vigil did as ordered and observed the brief firefight. Gre’Namra, now revealed, had a small shootout with Onsa who had taken out Vigil. Gre’Namra returned fire, attempting to suppress Onsa.
When Onsa stopped shooting, Gre’Namra attempted to pull back get behind taller cover. The moment she left her stack of boxes, Onsa resumed firing and tagged her back three times. Though she was hit, she was not out. Cursing and slapping her tail on the deck in agitation, she elected to pull back and meet up with Asteli on the opposite side of the battlefield from her, rather than continue fighting Onsa. Gre’Namra fired blindly over cover, causing Onsa to duck down and give her a chance to escape.
Meanwhile, Asteli had pushed far forward, quickly being pinned down by Dentala. Already hit twice, she was reluctant to return fire. Until Gre’Namra appeared, she kneeled and leaned around cover, hitting Dentala and forcing her back. Now relieved, Asteli advanced with Gre’Namra’s over watch.
However, in their haste, they failed to ensure their flank was secure. As out of nowhere, Asteli was gunned down by Onsa firing diagonally from across the field.
Asteli stomped her foot and cursed, before trudging over to the side. Gre’Namra, now alone, pulled back to her base. She wanted to use the tight confines to her advantage, forcing her enemies to come to her. However, Dentala had other plans for her. Using Asteli’s tactics, she pushed hard, going down the center of the field where Gre’Namra had no sightlines.
As Dentala was advancing, she lept over low cover, set in between two walls. Waiting on the other side of the walls, was Gre’Namra. Gre’Namra had stopped retreating, when she realized she would only be trapping herself. Guessing that her seniors would assume she was running with her tail between her legs, she decided to lay a trap of her own. Using her species’ advanced sensory organs to track Dentala, even without line of sight, and set up where she would least expect.
Dentala was mid jump, when Gre’Namra opened fire. She was ‘dead’, before she even landed. “Tsk. That was smart, too bad you’re dead,” Dentala said with a bitter undertone.
Gre’Namra scoffed. “What? Look who talking!” As soon as the words left her mouth, her sensors flashed and stayed lit, indication she was dead.
Someone tapped the barrel of an energy rifle on the back of her helmet. “Remember your opponents. Lioranians have excellent speed and agility. If you aren’t paying attention, we can run up on you before you have time to react,” Onsa bragged from behind her.
Gre’Namra thumped her tail on the ground. “I could have sensed you anyway if I wasn’t wearing this armor! It reduces my sight time too much!”
“True,” Onsa nodded. “But without that armor, you would have been dead already.”
Kitern suddenly began clapping a hand on a section of railing, drawing everyone’s attention. “You did good privates. Better than I had thought. Vigil, you did about what I expected for your first time,” she said, looking down at everyone. Asteli was busy punching Vigil in the arm, blaming him for their loss. Vigil barely even registered the blows, let alone was harmed by them.
“Everyone, go back to your bases and get ready for round two. I’m hoping to see some improvement,” she said merrily, enjoying the show.
Taking up the same position as last time, Kitern began counting down. Asteli punched Vigil’s arm again. “Use some of that ass kicking energy you showed us on that Nemesis ship this tim-”
Kitern had finished counting down. The moment she did, Vigil practically disappeared. Startling Asteli and Gre’Namra, even Kitern and Shavan were wide eyed when Vigil darted around the container walls, making up their base.
They grew even wider, and their jaws appeared to hit the floor as they watched Vigil dash across the battlefield. He was a blur, rushing over and around cover. Already nearing the enemy base. He jumped on top of a waist high stack of crates and used both of his powerful legs to jump straight up and over Dentala’s and Onsa’s front wall.
The two marines hadn’t even left the confines of their base, when the light was blocked out by Vigil sailing above them. In an instant, the sensors on their heads flashed twice, then remained on, signaling their demise.
Vigil landed on both feet and went into a squat to help transfer some of the energy from his impact. He cleared the entire base and ended up on the outside of the arena. The deck reverberated from the force of his body slamming into it and created a mini avalanche of poorly stacked boxes. As the various boxes and crates fell away, Onsa and Dentala were graced with a view of Vigil’s back, as he slowly rose to an upright position.
They stared at him, flabbergasted. “How?” Dentala whispered in disbelief.
Kitern watched, just as stunned. “Uhhh… the match is… over,” she said slowly.
“What?!” Asteli shouted from her side of the field. She stuck her head out from behind cover, making sure it wasn’t a trap, before approaching the other base. Seeing that Dentala and Onsa were really out, she walked up to them and chuckled. “Remember your opponents. Humans have excellent speed and agility,” she mimicked Onsa’s earlier statement mockingly.
Onsa scowled at her. She then rotated her rifle with one arm and shot Asteli. Asteli returned the gesture by blowing her species’ equivalent of a raspberry. “Alright, alright. Settle down children,” Kitern announced as her platform lowered. “Normally you would be tied one for one, but now that Vigil seems to be trying. I doubt you’ll be getting any more points.” She directed the tail end of her sentence to Onsa and Dentala.
Dentala protested and gestured to the large imposing man who was now gathered with the others. “We can take him. Now that we know what he can do, we can beat him.”
Kitern waved her off. “I love the enthusiasm, but we couldn’t take him when we had actual guns. And he was literally dying. You can’t take him on now. Not the two of you atleast.” She then did something not characteristic of her species. Kitern grinned, barring her teeth. To a Lioranian, showing one’s teeth was a declaration of war, that you wanted to fight, that blood would soon be spilled. They also did it subconsciously when faced with a foe or extreme challenge. And right now, Vigil was both.
Kitern reached over and took off her sling. She rolled her left arm, causing it to pop. “You aren’t supposed to move your arm!” Onsa nagged.
“Yeah, yeah. What the doc don’t know won’t hurt her.” She picked up a pack of sensors and began putting them on. The sensor for her head looked stupid sitting on top of her head, like a little hat. “I’m joining in now, kiddos.”
“Um, captain. You aren’t wearing armor,” Gre’Namra pointed out.
“And?” Kitern scoffed. “Unless you take that dampener off, I can be as naked as the day I was born and not get hurt. At most it’ll singe my fur.”
Asteli spoke up, a nervous undertone in her voice. “Even with Vigil, ma’am, we can’t beat you.”
“You two won’t, but Vigil could. So it’s a good thing you won’t be fighting me,” she replied cryptically. The other four marines looked at her confused. Seeing their reactions, she chuffed and laughed. “Watching you all go at it made me excited. And since we’re still O for one against big boy over there. I think it’s time we evened the score.”
“You mean…” Dentala said, catching on.
Kitern nodded. “Yep. It’s going to be a five versus one. We’re going to have a grudge match.”
All eyes turned to Vigil. He simply tilted his head, not sure why everyone was looking at him.
First Previous
Hello, I am back! For how long? I have no idea, but until I have to leave again, I'll be uploading as normal. Also, after this point, you may occasionally see stories called Orphan: Tales of the Past, where I give a bit more backstory or just write "bolter porn", (I hope I'm using that correctly) essentially just action packed wabattle scenes from the Human Nemesis war. To be honest, 99% of it is bolter porn. I have backstory chapters for several characters set up, but haven't actually written any yet.

How did the original Islamic narrative, compare to Christian notions, in the "core texts", the "official teachings/doctrine", "scholarship", and "popular belief/folklore" respectively? Was there only straightforward inheritance from Christianity to Islam (and ostensible correction of the allegedly corrupted books)? Or were there feedback loops where we see a notion first recorded in the Islamic framework, then the same notion, or something very similar, shows up at a later date within Christian materials?
I ask because, to the best of my understanding, the way Hell is commonly portrayed in Christian culture appears to owe a surprising amount to notably apocryphal works and/or outright fiction, most notoriously

• Dante Alighieri's Divine Comedy, which was overtly and obviously fiction (self-insert wish-fulfillment fanfiction at that, featuring the author's love interest as holiness personified, and many of the author's enemies suffering horrifically for their perceived crimes), and presents Hell and Paradise as tiered worlds of eternal punishment and eternal reward respectively (as opposed to Eternal Life being the Salvation and Perishing being the Damnation), going rather beyond what one might extrapolate from the Biblical Canon. Dante's Hell shares several traits with Jahannamas portrayed in the Qur'an and Hadith. His Paradise is, admittedly, very different from Jenna—a very "Platonic" place of contemplation, rather than a pleasure garden.
• Milton's Paradise Lost, which was also presented as "fiction", portrays the figures of Job's Adversary/Prosecutor, Genesis's Serpent of Eden, etc. as one single character, with a trajectory and psychology very similar to Islam's Iblis. In broad strokes, IIRC, a proud creation of God who predated Adam, viewed the latter as inferior and resented God's favouring of him, and made it his life's mission to prove to God the inferiority of Adam and his descendants, by tempting them to disobey and sin.

How many such notions do we know to have been first recorded within the Islamic framework? Can we infer an iterative exchange between the two traditions?
There's some grounds for Dante to borrow directly from Greco-Roman Hades, with Tartarus being the place for eternal, poetic, tailor-made torment (Tantalus, Sysyphus, etc.), and Elysium being the "nicer" place for the "better" sort of person. But the same could be said of early Christians, and of Muhammad himself. Hindu and Buddhist religious traditions, not that far East from Hellenic, Roman, and Islamic contact, has highly developed and detailed lore concerning Hellish realms—though I'm not aware of the chronology of those notions' first appearances in the written record.
Similar questions may be asked concerning "demonology" — what demons even are, what their role in Creation and the Afterlife is, etc.

I recently watched an Egyptian serie called Setat Beit Al-Maadi. Part of it takes place in the 1980's where a man cheats on his wife. They're both a bit old, I think, and it's shown they got married out of true love, not convenience like the wife's previous two marriages.
She finds out he's been cheating on her with a 16-18 year old. At that time, she was even working on a project to stop child marriages in rural areas. Mind you, they're not even in a rural area, but in a supposedly rich and advanced area. It's disgusting.
Then, he tells her that if this was exposed her reputation would be ruined. Basically, he threatens that they both will go down together. Then they decide to divorce after her daughter's upcoming wedding. They've decided at this point that their marriage is over. Oh we also find out at some point that he was also seeing another older woman.
She starts seeing another guy, a 20 year old (they don't do anything together but just go out on dates and stuff), and she's wrong for that. But he gets mad and wants to know who the guy is, when he refused to tell her before who the girl he was seeing is? And then he goes "okey fine we're even now let's start a new page 😀" excuse me sir what she did can't even be compared to the disgusting acts you committed, you bastard. She was seeing a guy after your marriage had already ended, still wrong I know, but not as wrong as cheating on her with at least two other women for God knows how long, during a period when there was still love and trust between you both.
What's implied in the story is that her fault was that she loved him more than he loved her, and that caused her to become weak to him, unlike in her previous 2 marriages where they were the ones who loved her more. Her daughter tells her she lets him get away with things she would've never let the previous two get away with.
And then we find out he contracted AIDS from the young girl he used to sleep with. People in the society start avoiding him and she's harmed in the process. But she sticks up for him and protects him?? Because of that they became poor and had to sell important paintings or whatever. Why is she sacrificing so much of her life for him???
And THEN, he asks her to poison him because he's tired. He tells her he loves her and they both dance one last dance before he dies. I'm sorry but he does NOT deserve such a happy ending. And she's an idiot for forgiving him for all he's done just because she loves him. I hate it. I hate how it ended. Ugh. I'm so freaking mad right now. I was waiting for a slow painful death the whole serie but this is what I get???

I've been diagnosed with severe PMDD last December and my life has been a nightmare since. I already had PMDD before but zoloft and yaz worked great. My doctor is really sweet and understanding, but she has no idea what to do with me. She prescribes me different class of antidepressant every month because my body doesn't want any of them. I was on zoloft for 8 years and suddenly after my second pregnancy the magic stopped and it looks like every SSRI won't do anymore. I started a job last year (my dream job) and I've been away on sick leave after 4 weeks in my new position 😭 my PMDD is so bad I can't work, I have 3 to 4 days that are ok in a month..... I am worry what my manager thinks of this... I also have 2 kids and they worry about their mommy crying half of the month in bed, eating nothing except shake to keep her alive. My husband is understanding since the begginning but I see he is tired of it and doesnt have a lot of patience left for it. I just don't know what to do except cry in my bed and sleep until they find somethingto cure me.

For my entire life I’ve always been scared of bugs. Though, I never really thought about parasites. When I think about it, I am very scared of leeches. If I hear that there are leeches in a body of water then I will most likely think twice about going in. A part that is confusing though is I don’t want to go into a bathtub. I am of course fine with showering but it scares me to sit in a bathtub full of water because my mind always just thinks about parasites in the water, even though it’s very obvious that there’s no parasites.
Another thing I’ve experienced recently is fearing bed bugs. I have not gone travelling at all recently and yet I am still very paranoid about bed bugs. I used to check my mattress for them and I would struggle sleeping because I would imagine them taking blood from me. Plus, I would try to cover the most amount of skin I could with clothing.
Now this sounds very weird but when I play games my fears on real life transport over. For example, in a game called subnautica there is a parasitic species called a bleeder. In the game, it is only found in certain biome. One of those biomes in mandated for you to go to for progression. Any time I got to this biome, I turn my sound off, and look away from my screen. These things that latch onto your arm scare me a lot. Another thing is something called a lava larva. A lava larva attaches to one of your vehicles and sucks energy out of them. I don’t understand why I would be scared of that but I am. I jump a lot when they appear on my screen and I try to stay as far away from them as possible.
If anyone could gov me any information about why j have these fears in games then please let me know.

I went thru a lot of trauma before meeting her - stuff I should’ve gone to therapy for, but I was a stubborn man. I met her shortly after she broke up with a longterm bf, and we hit it off in a way neither of us could’ve imagined. We tried to stay friends for a while so she wasn’t jumping into a new infatuation, but everything felt so right and happened so naturally that after a while she just jumped right in and I followed.
I felt confused and worried because I didn’t want to be a rebound. I started to wonder if I was good enough. It was a whirlwind, and even though I WAS worried, it blossomed into an incredible, loving, fun, affection-filled relationship. We fell deeply in love but in the back of my mind I always wondered if she’d regret jumping in, and wondered if I was really good enough despite her constant affection and reassurance.
When I met her I was new to the city, with almost all of my friends back home, and we were hit with another big Covid wave so we ended up spending all of our time together. When the wave ended, she started a (stressful) new career and got back to her routine of seeing her friends, but it felt like I only had her - so I became anxious and had zero boundaries. She was clearly head over heels for me but I couldn’t shake my insecurities.
Things started getting complicated and my mental health went further downhill. This made things difficult for us, but we kept trying to fix it for a long time, which was hard with her working 12-14 hour days and me neglecting my mental health/boundaries (I should’ve been doing therapy and finding fulfilment in new friends/things). I started a new stressful career as well which made it even more difficult to get back in sync.
Eventually we both hit a breaking point and needed to take a step back. I started doing therapy and finally getting into real friendships and focusing on personal growth a ton. However, by the end she said she loved me more than anything and felt we were still compatible… but that things had gotten so complicated and stressful, and that she never got a chance to enjoy being truly independent as she’d dated her ex for years and then jumped into things with me.
We tried staying friends and sleeping together, but I couldn’t keep my cool and I ended up pushing her to the point of wanting to go NC. She said she wants us to reconnect someday and that she’ll miss me a lot. This was the worst time of my life and I hit rock bottom but clawed my way back up.
I live with one of her best friends and it sounds like she’s really enjoying the single life, focusing on her career, travelling, and spending time with friends. I’m happy for her but I really miss her. I feel more mentally stable than I ever have, therapy has helped a lot, I’ve got a great routine and group of friends now, I’m seeing other women, but it feels like a part of me is gone and I can’t let go of her. I’ve tried but it feels impossible.
I keep convincing myself that eventually we can reconnect from a healthier place and have the relationship we both always wanted - and both believed we could have - but I also feel like I’ve completely fucked it all up, especially with how I handled things post-breakup, and she probably doesn’t love me anymore or think about me or want me ever again.
I don’t really know what to do or why I’m writing this. I have amazing days but her absence is always in the background, dampening any sense of happiness or fulfilment I feel.
Can someone please give me some advice or motivating words? Have any of you been through this? What do I do?

Amid a galaxy of brutal chaos there are stories to be told, tales of valor and justice, of fear and despair. But amid these stories are the guttering flames of adventures untold, the potential for a universe of entertainment and savage joyous fun. The Oblivion Cycle embodies just this kind of crafted chaos, creating the potential for creative exploits and raucous tales. If you are new to the TOC setting feel free to join the community at TheOblivionCycle to check out some of the background lore or to discuss themes with other readers. I thank you all for your support and continued willingness to read, as always, Please Enjoy!
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Chapter 27
Max-imum Surprise
He stood atop a wooden platform in the branches of the highest tree in the jungle. His heart beating fast in his chest as he looked out into that endless blue expanse of sky above. He blinked, suddenly there was no jungle. In front and below him was only more of that same endless sky.
He should have been afraid, should have cowered from that endless void in terror, but he found that he felt none of these things. Instead he smiled and spread his arms wide. He felt free, freer than he could ever remember feeling before.
He looked down at his bare feet, the polished red wood of the platform solid beneath his toes. Taking a deep breath he began to run. The edge of the platform seemed to stretch away from him, the harder he ran the faster it seemed to pull away.
He yelled at it to stop, to wait for him. But it did not. Instead it expanded outwards from him at the speed of light, encompassing him in a giant sphere of darkness that then seemed to press in on all sides. He felt a terrible pressure on his chest and cried out for someone to save him.
Suddenly he stopped as a profound sense of love and warmth seemed to wrap around him. It wasn't the same crushing weight as before. Before the pressure had been malicious, cruel and painful. Now the pressure was soft and tender, he embraced the feeling with his mind and smiled again. He suddenly realized that he was floating once more in that endless blue sky. Or was he falling? It made little difference, he spread his arms experimentally and found he could fly.
He laughed in childlike wonder as he began to soar through the endless clouds, doing loops and tricks to his heart's content. He had thought himself free before. He had been a slave, shackled to the ground and forever denied the truth.
He growled in anger at the thought, twisting dark branches reaching out like fingers to ensnare him as his mood darkened once more. He flitted and dodged through them with an agility that surprised even himself.
Then suddenly in the distance he heard a wailing sound, almost like that of a storm siren, but deeper in tone and altogether more sinister. In the sky overhead a darkness formed, taking a strange and terrifying form that he was unable to describe. It was as if the tendrils of darkness continued on forever, though he could not see them he knew they were there. Burrowing through reality as a worm would an apple.
He frowned, intrigued by the spectacle and unafraid. It seemed familiar, like an old acquaintance many years forgotten. It struck him as neutral, not evil or good, but somewhere in the middle. A mix of the two. He shook like a leaf in a storm as a hot wind began to blow over him and the sky split open to reveal a burning orange eye the size of eternity. He felt fear now, a terrible bone wrenching fear that spoke of primordial terrors and cosmic threats beyond mortal comprehension. But still he remained, no longer flying as he stood upon a tower of dark basalt stone blocks.
He looked at the eye and it looked at him, it seemed to look deeper than his skin. It felt as if it were peeling back the layers of his flesh and looking to his very soul, the gestalt of his core.
He jerked as a voice seemed to echo through his mind “You are not the one.”
He shook his head in confusion and shouted up to the burning sky “I’m not what one? What do you mean?”
The eye didn't reply, instead began to close. Leon raised his fists and shouted to the sky “One what? Answer me! I need to know.”
Again the voice spoke in his mind, this time quieter and growing more faint by the second till it trailed off into silence. “It is not yet time, you are not the one.”
As the eye closed the sky went dark, so did everything else. He felt himself falling again, looking down he saw a bright light far below. Squinting he saw it looked like a hospital room. The scene grew closer and more defined as he approached it at rapid speed. He looked at the bed and gasped in surprise, for in the bed he saw himself. But not as he remembered himself, but pale and seemingly without life. To his side he saw Dr. Kimathi and Joice frantically messing with something next to the bed his body lay in. It was a defibrillator.
He watched in growing fascination as he fell towards himself at incredible speeds. Joice lifted his body’s shirt and applied the paddles while Dr. Kimathi shouted something. He didn't have a chance to hear it as he slammed into his body.
He grunted in pain and convulsed as his eyes shot open. Coughing violently he tried to sit up and found he could not. Laying back in bed a bit dazed he tried to remember what had just happened.
He stopped, his mind a whirl of impossible images and sensations, and over it all a voice like thunder echoed in his mind. “You are not the one.”
“I am not the one.” He muttered to himself.
“Leon, Leon can you hear me? What did you just say? Nevermind it's not important, Leon I need you to tell me if you can hear me.” A female voice said from close to his ear.
He looked around blearily, was he Leon? ‘I am.’ he decided to himself. With his newfound identity chosen he decided to move onto his next issue.
He tried to sit up but found he couldn't. Flailing around weakly he heard a voice shout for assistance and then felt multiple hands holding him still.
“He is seizing.” Someone said, his mind assigned the voice a name. Dr. Kimathi.
Another voice, this one male, spoke up saying “I think he’s okay now. He stopped struggling.” This time his mind said the name Taylor.
He blinked a few times, trying to clear his mind. What had happened? Why couldn't he remember anything? He thought hard, his face screwing up from the stress. He remembered mud and a loud noise. But that was it.
Dr. Kimathi stood next to him and shined a penlight into his eyes while saying “Pupil response is normal, no intracranial swelling then. Leon, Leon look at me.” she said sternly.
He looked at her, his vision focusing on the dark skinned woman’s eyes. She nodded and then put up a single finger. “I want you to follow my finger, okay Leon?”
He tried to speak but all that came out was a half strangled croak. She frowned but moved her finger. He did his best to keep locked onto it. Maybe if he did what she asked she would tell him what happened to him. She moved it a few more times, first slowly and then more rapidly. He followed along and she nodded before marking something on the small datapad she was holding.
He coughed as he tried again to speak and he heard Taylor say “I'll go get Natalia. She will want to know he’s awake.”
Dr. Kimathi raised a hand. Glancing at him she hissed quietly. “I don't know if that’s a good idea. He seems to be suffering from acute memory loss. I can’t explain it, no head injury, not cranial trauma of any kind. It’s like something reached in there and scrambled his brains around, resonance scans are all over the place. It's like there was some kind of interference.”
Leon frowned at her words, again the dim memory of a powerful voice echoed through the corner’s of his mind and the vague impression of a nebulous darkness crossed his mind. But he quickly suppressed it.
“Where am I?” he croaked.
Dr. Kimathi's head whipped towards him and she rushed to his side. “Leon, you are in the infirmary. What do you remember?”
Leon frowned again, hadn't she already asked him that? He couldn't remember. Instead of asking he said “I remember mud, lots of mud. And then, trees? That makes no sense, I'm sorry.” he apologised quickly. They would think he was insane if he kept talking. Then he would end up in the loony pen with Aden.
He sat bolt upright as things started rushing back into place. The planetary landing, the attack on Oliver, the strange dream he had experienced. It all came back in a rush that made his vision swim and his head pound. Clutching his head he groaned “I remember everything… Ough, why does it hurt so much?”
Taylor looked at Dr. Kimathi and asked “What about now?” to which the woman just nodded. Taylor rushed off, presumably to grab Natalia, Leon speculated.
Leon knew that he only had a few moments before everyone else came rushing back and so clutched at Dr. Kimathi’s arm.
“Wait, I have to tell you something.” He said urgently.
Dr. Kimathi looked around the room quickly before nodding and asking “Ok then Leon, what is it?”
He held the long sleeve of her white lab coat and began determinedly. He told her of his dream and the voice, of the eye and the darkness. After he had finished he released her arm and sat back with a wince. Only now did he notice his bare chest was wrapped, an ugly yellow and blue bruise peeking from beneath the bandage.
Dr. Kimathi shook her head slowly and said “You are starting to sound like Aden. Are you sure you are alright Leon? I have some antipsychotics I can prescribe if you…”
Leon cut her off with a right handed wave, his left arm hurting too much to move it about. “No, please, no more medication. I take enough of that shit to sink a battleship already. Some painkillers wouldn't be bad though, please?” He asked her.
She smiled slightly and handed him three small pills from her pocket and a bottle of water with a straw. “Careful on the water.” She warned him as he started to suck it down.
He coughed a few times as her warning did not come fast enough and some slipped down the wrong pipe, Dr. Kimathi leaned over to pat his back as he tried to expel the excess liquid. He was still coughing lightly as a familiar and very welcome face walked around the corner.
Natalia rushed to his side and hugged him as he was still trying to settle his lungs. The result was another coughing fit followed by her rapidly apologizing for hurting him.
Leon waved a hand weakly and said “No it’s fine Nat, I was just drinking water too fast. It is really good to see you.” he said softly.
She smiled sadly and nodded, a few tears welling in her eyes. “When you stopped breathing I thought…” She started to say but he shushed her and extended an arm.
Natalia sat by his side and leaned on his shoulder gently as he put his arm around her waist. “Don’t talk like that. I’m not going anywhere. I'm way too stubborn to do anything like that, much less the effect I know it would have on you.” he said, wiping a tear from her cheek.
Dr. Kimathi spoke “Well, I am glad to see you feeling better Leon. And she’s right, we nearly lost you there a few times.”
Leon nodded and pulled Natalia’s head down before planting a tender kiss on the top of her head. “I’m sorry Nat, I won’t let my pride get in the way of my common sense again.” He turned to Dr. Kimathi as she tapped on her datapad. “How is Oliver? Is he alright?”
She finally smiled, a small tight lipped thing. “Thanks for asking Leon, I was hoping you would. Oliver is going to be physically fine, he woke up from the antivenom treatment a few days ago.”
Leon jerked up before the pain in his side dragged him back down to the dismay of both women. “A few days!” he shouted.
Natalia pushed him back down gingerly while Dr. Kimathi shot him a pointed look. She lowered her datapad and explained “Yes, a few days. You were in a medically induced coma Leon, severe lack of oxygen almost killed you before we could get you out of your suit. You had a collapsed lung and multiple fractures, not to mention a partially dislocated collarbone. It was kind of touch and go for a while.” she finished with a gesture to his bandages.
Leon winced again and asked “What happened after I blacked out?”
Dr. Kimathi shook her head and said “A whole hell of a lot. Natalia can fill you in on the details, I need to go check on something. Don’t do anything stupid while I'm gone Leon, okay?” She told him. Leon just nodded and watched the stern woman exit the examination room.
Natalia answered his question “Well, you passed out on the way up to the ship. By the time they got you out of your environmental suit you were already in full respiratory arrest. Your heart was beating but your lungs were not working.” she said emotionally.
Leon hugged her close again and whispered to her softly “It’s okay now though. I’m better. Please, tell me what happened next?”
Natalia sucked in a shuddering breath and nodded jerkily. With a slight tremble in her voice she continued speaking “We had to rush you and Oliver to the infirmary. Blessing hooked you up to a portable respirator after applying the chest tube to help drain the built up fluid. But even then you were barely breathing, she said she had to drain the excess fluid from your lungs, something she couldn't do in the microgravity core. So we used one of the lift rigs and lowered you down the access shaft to the medical ring. By that point Oliver had been rendered unconscious as well and Blessing had enlisted both Taylor and Myung to help.” she paused for breath and Leon reached for the water bottle on his bedside.
She smiled at him as he handed it to her and she took a drink. Replacing it on the table he bade her to continue. The horrid fascination making it impossible for him to ignore the terrible events.
She took another deep breath before she spoke, this one steadier as she got further into the story. “Well, after some struggling we finally got you and Oliver into the intensive suite. While Blessing worked on synthesizing an antivenom from Max, Myung and Taylor monitored your condition. Did you know Taylor had medical training? Apparently he had been a volunteer responder before he moved into military signal analysis.”
She was about to continue when he waved his arms. “Wait a minute, hold on. Who the hell is Max? What did…” he stopped. He crossed his arms again and apologised as she gave him a disapproving look.
“I was getting to that, fasten up those horses buster.” She chastised him. Her annoyance was short lived however as she shook her head and continued. “Well, when you captured that creature on the planet's surface, you placed it into a bag. The bag seemed to have calmed the thing down because as they finally got to unpacking it the little thing was as timid as a mouse. I don’t know why, but it seemed to respond in a non-hostile manner to both the venom extraction and continued observation.” she said.
Leon shook his head in disbelief. “That still doesn't explain who Max is, wait. Don’t tell me.” he said as he saw her smile widely.
She nodded her head and said “Yeah, Oliver responded to the antivenom and woke up, madder than hell. He wanted to chop the little beast up till he saw it. He looked into its little puppy dog eyes and immediately forgave them. He named her Max and almost immediately tried to feed it.”
Leon again shook his head in disbelief. Only the crazy Australian could want to adopt something that had nearly killed him as a pet. “He named it Max? What, is it a dog now?” he asked her jokingly.
She just smiled harder and replied “She might as well be. The two are nearly inseparable now.” He shot her a surprised look and opened his mouth to comment but she cut him off. “Yes he keeps a close eye on her, and no Max hasn’t attacked anyone else. Not even tried. Oliver said that the only reason that she bit him was because he stepped on her. She was just lashing out in self defense, same as when you grabbed her. Once Max realized that we were not trying to kill her she seemed to mellow right out.”
Leon still couldn't hardly believe it. The same murderous creature that had nearly cost both his and Oliver's lives, was now the ship's mascot? He couldn't take it and chuckled “Okay, I see what’s going on here. Ha ha ha, very good. I will admit you had me going with that story, Max.” he said, another slightly wheezing laugh escaping him.
She just gave him that same serious stare from earlier. He opened his mouth and threw his arms out to the side. “Oh come on, you really expect me to believe that the same murder rope that I nearly died to grab is now everyone’s favorite little cuddle buddy?”
She shook her head and said in an exasperated tone “Well I never, have I ever been untruthful with you Leon?”
He cocked his head and raised a finger. “Well, if we are counting, then… There was that time with the bean patty you told me was a hamburger that had been preserved in the cold storage for the whole trip. Had me excited as a pig in shit for that one. Then there was that other time when you called me to the observation deck for an emergency but in reality it was just you wearing that skimpy little…” She cut him off by putting her hand over his mouth and looking around to see if anyone had overheard.
She hissed “Okay I get it. And you told me you wouldn't hold that over me.” she pouted.
He chuckled lightly and shook his head “I’m sorry, but this is just too incredible. Please, humor me and skip the Max related stuff for the moment. What happened after oliver woke up, not the thing.” he pleaded.
Natialia gave him an unreadable look but continued on saying “Ok, Oliver woke up. He was a bit weak from the venom but took it well. He and Blessing took some samples of… The creature.” she paused to gauge his reaction. Leon just blinked, waiting for her to proceed. “Well, they took some samples and found something remarkable. The lifeforms on the planet have a disturbingly similar chemical and molecular makeup to Earthly animals.”
“How similar?” he asked her, interrupting her train of thought. “Sorry, continue.” he muttered as she waved a hand in the air annoyedly.
She returned to her tale “Well, they did some tests and found that the lifeforms of the world, which we named Terrelia while you were out by the way sorry.” she shrugged as he frowned. “Well, Ma… The creature is able to not only digest Earth proteins, but seems able to metabolize them as well. It has red, iron based blood with a protein ominously similar to hemoglobin as its oxygen carrier. That’s why the venom worked on Oliver so fast, it was like he had been bitten by a cobra from back on Earth. Joice and Myung couldn't make heads or tales of it, but that's the truth. I guess life in the universe isn't so alien after all.” she said with a casual shrug.
Leon just sat back in his bed, the bruises on his chest and arm smarting despite the painkillers he had taken earlier. It all seemed rather baseless to him, though he couldn't in good faith call her a liar. She would never have made up something so fantastic and then claimed it was true that vehemently. No, it must be truth. The only other option was mass hysteria in which case he had a lot more to worry about than a pet alien snake.
He wrung his hands together and looked around the small room. The walls and ceiling were white, a few cabinets above clinical countertops and a single LED light fixture completed the display. He thought about what she had said. That alien life might not be so alien afterall.
He nodded and said “I think I want to get up.”
Natalia gave him a concerned look and placed a single hand on his bandaged chest. “I’m not sure that is a great idea yet Leon. You are still recovering.”
“Yes I am. But a little walking does the body good. How many days was I out?” He asked her as he gingerly sat up on the edge of the bed. He slowly swung his legs over the side of the bed towards the floor. He winced as his leg twinged and his side smarted, but it wasn't enough to deter him from his current course of action.
Natalia stood in front of him and bounced slightly in nervousness. “Oh man, Blessing isn’t going to like this.”
Leon waved a hand in a dismissive way and asked “And since when have I let her opinion on my health keep me down? How many days Nat?”
She looked him in the eyes and said “Four days. You were gone for four days Leon. Four days in which I was lost, almost completely.” She took a deep breath as the emotions she was suppressing threatened to tear their way free. “I can’t tell you how bad it felt seeing you like that Leon. I thought I had lost you.” She said in a wavering tone.
Leon stood shakily and embraced her. He ran a hand through her hair as she buried her face in his chest. “I do know. I have felt lost too, but I have you now. And nothing is going to make me let you go.”
She looked up at him and asked suddenly “Well, you are up. It's too late to turn back now. Want to go meet Max? She really is swe…”
Leon groaned and she stopped talking. He saw her frown slightly and caved “Okay. But don't get upset if the little bastard bites you or someone else.”
He saw her roll her eyes before she led him slowly and deliberately out of the room.
Leon walked slowly, not really hurting but more sore than he had felt in years. Every step was a chore but he continued on determinedly. It was better to be up and smarting than stagnating in bed.
As they walked down the corridor that led to the main hallway Leon asked her “Are we still in orbit of the planet?”
She shook her head. “No, Joice made the call while you were incapacitated. The planet was dangerous, there might be another incident if we had decided to make another surface run.”
Leon shrugged. That seemed like the best course of action he could think of too. The planet's surface was a swamp which made it impossible to see where one was truly stepping. Oliver wouldn't have stepped on the creature if he had known it was there. The entire stupid situation might have been avoided entirely.
“Yea, that sounds fair.” Was all he said in response though. He was curious about what she thought but didn't ask. He could tell by the way she frowned that she hadn't been a fan of the situation.
Letting it go he said “We need different protocols for this kind of situation. I think the crew should have more of a say in what happens from now on.” Leon mused out loud. Natalia just patted his shoulder silently.
The kept walking a little farther till they reached the medical labs portion of the ring. Leon slowed as he heard voices emanating from the rooms ahead. Turning a corner through a doorway he stopped.
In the room were three people, Oliver, Joice and Dr. Kimathi. Joice and Dr. Kimathi were sitting at a table looking at a computer and discussing its data. What really captured his attention however was Oliver sitting across from the two women. Or rather, the long creature wrapped around the man's neck and upper torso.
Leon cocked his head, it was indeed the same creature from the planet. He looked at it again and was a bit taken aback by its appearance.
While he had not had much chance to grasp its true form on the planet he still had gotten a decent look at it. It was indeed long and snake-like in appearance, its body tubelike and covered in thousands of tiny mosaic scales in a blueish green pattern, but that's where the similarities ended.
It’s head was long and almost had a canine look to it with pronounced jaw muscles and what looked like small horns. The body was long and had a small fin-like frill moving down its center similar to an eel. All along its sides it had much larger scale looking structures that seemed to be raised off its surface. As he tried to guess as to their function he noticed some of them move. Looking closer he realized they were rows of fins all along its sides, just tucked close to the body in the absence of water. That would explain how it was able to wriggle free from him on the planet.
Joice saw them and glanced at Dr. Kimathi, saying something. Dr. Kimathi looked at him sharply and demanded “Leon, why are you out of bed? Natalia, I told you to keep him in bed.”
Natalia hung her head sheepishly and said “It’s hard to make Leon do something he doesn't want to do.”
Leon glanced at her and then said “It was my fault, I didn't listen to her. I needed to move, to get active. I’m sorry Dr. Kimathi.”
Natalia squeezed his hand and he gave her a slight nod. Joiced motioned for them and said “Well as long as you are here, come take a look at these readings. Myung and I took some samples of Max’s blood and the results are both remarkable and confusing in equal measure.” The blond woman finished excitedly.
Leon nodded and made a pointed effort not to look at the thing Oliver was holding. He took the seat that Joice had just vacated and looked at the results she had posted to the computer. After a moment he asked “Well, what does it all mean?”
Joice shook her head and motioned at a few bits of randomly squirming data points. To him they looked like so much gibberish but Joice spoke animatedly while gesturing to the readouts “If you look here you can see a partially decoded splice of their DNA. That was the first thing that struck me as odd, I expected something similar to our DNA system to give the cells guidance, but not this similar. Look, four base pairs just like us, and whats more the base pairs are astonishingly similar as well. If i didn’t know any better I would be tempted to say that this creature evolved from a common ancestor to Earthly creatures.” she paused to let the bombshell sink in.
Leon just shook his head “What is so remarkable about that. Isnt there a word for this kind of thing. Convergent evolution right?”
Joice shook her head and pointed at Oliver’s new friend. “No, not like this. Convergent evolution is more about the form and function, not the composition. This is too close to be accidental, this is… This is wrong is what it is. Its not possible, and yet here I am telling you that its not only possible, but that its happened.”
She threw her arms up in the air while giving a small groan of frustration. Leon heard a quiet quacking noise and looked at Oliver. The man grinned and reached his hand towards the creature's powerful wedge shaped head. Leon tensed, ready for the thing to snap his fingers off or worse, but instead it met his hand for pets. Emitting a soft gurgling purr it stroked the man’s hand with its head lovingly and closed its eyes in what looked like pleasure to him.
“Aww, you are the cutest little terror in the whole galaxy aren't you Max.” he heard Oliver mutter. Looking around his mouth opened. Everyone else in the room was smiling, a look of endearment on their faces.
Leon was once more incredulous. What on Earth had he missed for the thing to go from being a murderous pest to being a beloved part of the ship's small crew.
Oliver saw him staring and smiled. “Oh hey Leon, you just woke up right?” Leon nodded a little unsure of the man’s point. Oliver continued “Well, then you haven't met Max, well, not politely at least. Here, want to hold her?” he asked, extending an inviting arm out towards Leon.
Leon shook his head “No, I don't think that's a good idea.”
Joice spoke up “Oh come’on Leon, the creature is perfectly safe. Its venom is no longer a hazard, Dr. Kimathi made more antivenom. She doesn't bite, well at least she hasn't yet.”
Leon was about to say no again when he felt another hard hand squeeze from Natalia. Looking at her she gave him an encouraging smile and said “Watch.” Before Leon could stop her she strode right up to Leon and reached out towards Max. He watched in silent dread as Natalia's hand approached that razor fang filled maw.
“Nat, wait!” he said, taking a step forward then stopped in his tracks. Max was nuzzling her just as they had Oliver, apparently completely at peace with its environment. ‘What the hell?’ he thought to himself.
Natalia scritched the alien under the chin and laughed happily as it lolled its tongue out in happiness while emitting that same gurgling purr. He frowned at the sight. It seemed that his fears might be unfounded after all.
Approaching cautiously he looked at Oliver and said “How should I do it, should I let it sniff me first?” He had no idea how people were supposed to handle snakes, well, alien serpents at least.
Oliver shrugged “If you like. She is pretty docile.”
Swallowing in nervousness he reached out his right hand towards the creature. Almost as soon as he started Max hissed angrily and flared all her fins in a threatening way, trying to puff up like an angry cat.
Leon snatched his hand back while taking a few steps in the opposite direction of the creature. Oliver jerked back in alarm as Natalia shouted. Max drew back into the protection of Oliver’s body and gave Leon the most acidic glare he had ever seen from an animal.
“Oliver. What the actual fuck was that? I thought you said that thing was safe.” He said loudly, stepping back even further.
The Australian stroked his charge calmly, whispering soothing words to her and then said more loudly “Well, she never did that before. She must remember you grabbing her on the planet.”
Leon shook his head “Remember what? It’s a fucking animal Oliver.”
Joice raised her hand at his comment and said “Yes she is, but an animal with the intelligence capability of a dog at the very minimum. Im suspecting she is much smarter than that though, maybe even as smart as a corvid. My preliminary scans show that her species' neural pathways are much larger than they have any right to be. It's as if she has a brain that runs the length of her spine.”
Leon just waved and said “Alright, maybe she holds a grudge then. I've seen stranger things on this trip than a vengeful snake.”
“She isnt a snake, Leon. I have decided to name her species Terrelian Swamp Gliders.” Oliver said in response to Leon’s comment.
Leon just shook his head silently, beyond words at the moment.
Natalia walked over to his side and said “I think we have taken a long enough walk, I will see you all in a bit. Bye Oliver.” she said as she began to guide him back into the hall.
“Why me…” Leon bemoaned quietly to himself.
Natalia must have heard his cry as she tutted and said “You are in charge of what is possibly the greatest experiment in all of human history Leon. It makes sense that things would not always go according to plan. Don't fret though, I will always be here for you.” she told him with a kiss to his grizzled cheek.
Leon looked at her as they reentered the room he had been in before. “I know I do. And I respect that you see the world differently than I do. That's one of the reasons I love you so much.”
She smiled and leaned in for a kiss. He sighed as she helped him back onto the bed. “Leon, I’m worried.” she said suddenly as she sat down by his side.
Looking up at the ceiling he asked her “What are you worried about?”
She paused and then shifted her position, laying down on top of the covers next to him she said “I’m worried about us, the ship. Everyone else. What’s going to happen if we get into trouble and can’t fix it like we have managed every time so far? We don't have anyone to help us, we would be totally alone.”
Leon shook his head and pulled her close, lifting the covers so she could scoot right to his side. Wrapping his arms around her he held her tight as he said “No, we won't. As long as we have each other we will never be alone.” he closed his eyes, the slow beat of her heart and rhythmic breathing bringing him a profound sense of peace and comfort. He felt himself drifting off into sleep, the pains and worries of the day floating up and away from his mind as he entered the realm of unconsciousness.
==End of Transmission==

I started going to therapy when I was 23, because I had trouble coping with my loneliness in a stage of life where all my peers were experimenting with or having their first serious relationships, while I'd had none whatsoever. I thought there was something wrong with me, and that by solving it I could finally achieve the type of connection others had and that I had only dreamed of, because therapy is the greatest thing ever and it works, right?
Wrong. So fucking wrong. Six years and three therapists later I have officially given up on happiness. I'm tired of being gaslighted and having my feelings invalidated by people who cannot grasp my condition, have no idea whatsoever how to fix me and are only able of projecting empty platitudes. I'm alone and miserable, I have been alone and miserable all my life despite trying not to be with all my effort, and I will never be happy by myself. This is a given and no pretty words will ever fix that. Shit, at this point I'm far too damaged to have any serious hope I'll ever attract somebody. Maybe when both my parents are dead I'll no longer feel the obligation to keep this charade up and off myself; for now I can only function as an NPC. Wake up, work, eat, work, sleep, repeat 5x. Maybe on the weekends I'll go on walks or work overtime. Either way, I'm cutting off any semblance of a happy life because it's just too hard to pretend I'm making a difference by simulating normality.