Side note: I've added a password, so read carefully. If you message me WITHOUT the password, your messages are automatically IGNORED. tired of getting hit up with people who don't read 😒. It's ridiculous cause I've ignored 5+ chats cause none of them contained the password. Things are written for a reason.
Facts about me:

• I have been roleplaying since 2012. Yes, I got experience under my belt, and yes, my ideas usually have really long reads, but don't let that scare you off! After the starter is off, I may lower myself down to a decent paragraph or two, sometimes three! It all depends on what I've got to work with.
  
• My timezone is EST. I'm awake from 9am - 2am and I'm usually free unless I'm busy doing house chores, out of the house, asleep, or playing video games on my switch. I'm usually become REALLY active at or around 8pm.
  

Rules:
1: if you don't like 50/50 mixture of sex scenes and story, don't bother hopping into my inbox. I'm fine with sex scenes, but when it's constantly back to back, the roleplay itself gets boring.
2: Be literate. No one liners. I like to write..it's annoying when I send a 2-3 paragraph response and I get 3 lines...just...no. I am not accepting people who are just starting out! If you aren't experienced in writing or roleplaying, kindly stay out of my inbox.
3: Be okay with playing canon characters. I'm mainly doing fandom roleplays right now and it's going to be Canon x my oc. No, I'm not doing double ups. Do not even ask, because the answer will be no every time. I do not give a shit if you think that makes me 'lazy' or 'selfish', if you've got a problem, you can simply ignore or block me. Commenting on my post to bitch and whine about me not doubling up will only result in me blocking you. The ONLY time I'll double up, and if I'm confident enough, I'll only do female characters. I suck at males. Got a problem? Not my issue. Block and move on.
4: Roleplay in third person. I can't and won't adapt to first. Don't even bring up the idea of you playing first person and me playing third. Believe it or not, I've been asked this twice and that is just a hell no for me. The only time I do first, is when I'm writing into my book.
5: if you don't know how to share ideas, then don't bother messaging me. I'm tired of carrying the story when the other person doesn't help. If you've got ideas, then PLEASE speak up! Your opinion on the roleplay matters too! I'm an easy going person, and easy to get along with (dispite my rules).
6: DO NOT control my character. I control what she says, does, hears, sees, ect. I don't control yours, so don't control mine. HOWEVER, if it's highly necessary and needed, then run it by me first and ask me. Just leave me some wiggle room so I can make a decent response. Failure to comply by this rule, results in immediate drop of the rp.
End Note:
Yes, I've updated my rules just a tad. I do not care if it makes me sound mean or rude, because I'm neither of these things. I'm just tired of putting these rules down for a specific reason and they go ignored because I can tell when someone hasn't read them, and lied about it. I'm just trying to get my point across and roleplay. I'm a very easy going person who loves to make friends on the side (which I've somewhat given up on making friends...only a selective few have actually gained my friendship).
Do not hop into my inbox with a simple 'hey' 'hi' 'sup', etc and for God's sake, don't message me with a 'rp?'and proceed me to flash me with your talliwhacker. I promise you, you'll get your feelings hurt and I'll be here laughing at ya 😂. Nobody wants a peen on their screen. Do not send me an image of your one eyed noodle. Thank you. The password is pineapple.
Fandoms & Pairings
Deadpool (Wade x my oc)
The Adam's family
Pokemon ((MAYBE. Don't be nasty about it either!))
Bridgerton (or something like it. Can be Oc x Oc)
Disney Decedent's (or anything Disney) (oc x oc)
Orange is the new black (this can be oc x oc).
Criminal Minds (REALLY wanna do)
Marvel:
Loki x my oc
Spiderman (Tom Holland) x my oc
Dog The Bounty Hunter (REALLY wanna do):
Dog Chapman x my oc
The walking dead (REALLY wanna do!!):
Daryl X my oc
Batman x my oc
Lucifer (Netflix show series) x my oc (really wanna do)
The Originals: Klaus x my oc (PLEASE !! I REALLY wanna do this one!)
American Horror Story: Tate x my oc (REALLY wanna do)
Dragon Ball Z - Super (vegeta x my oc) (really wanna do)
Naruto: Minato x my oc
Harry Potter (thanks to the wonderful world of rp, the characters will be 18 or older. For me, I'd like it if it was Draco x my oc. REALLY wanna do)
Game Of Thrones (I'm still very early in the show, but I think we could think of something!)
Once Upon A Time:
killian x my oc, REALLY wanna do 🥺.
Avatar the last Airbender:
Zuko x my oc
Twilight:
Jacob x my oc
(Course, our version will be alot better than the movies).
If any of these interests you, message me!
End note part 2:
Congratulations! You've made it to the end. Still interested? You've got the password. Message me and let's get started 😁.

Hey everyone,
My wife and I dropped her phone off with geek squad for the screen protector replacement on a z flip 4. After getting it back, the screen was damaged (white line from crease to top) so we rushed back inside and they took it back in under warranty. The screen stopped working entirely after that and they found an issue with the hinge. So real problems not caused by geek squad. The issue is they said it would be fixed in a few days, week max. They just needed the glue to put the back on, they had every other part. It's been 10 days with no update. The store is 40 minutes away so we can't really pop in.
What can I actually do? It seems like they should have been able to get this glue by now or even had a nearby store bring it by or something. Anyone got advice or kind words of encouragement? Wife needs phone for work and general safety really.

Schlatt: Hey, boys! Welcome back to another episode of the Sleep Deprived Podcast. How are we all doing today?
Mika: Hey, Schlatt. I'm hanging in there, you know. Dealing with the usual ups and downs, but I'm ready to tackle another episode.
Aztro: Doing fantastic, as always! Ready to bring some laughs and good vibes to our listeners.
Apandah: Yeah, yeah, I'm here, whatever. Let's get this show on the road. I've got some spicy takes to share today.
Schlatt: Alright, alright, settle down, everyone. Let's jump into some topics. So, have you guys seen the latest football match? Man, that game was intense!
Aztro: Absolutely, Schlatt! That last-minute goal had me on the edge of my seat. Football always brings out the passion in me.
Apandah: Yeah, yeah, football. I'm just here for the chaos, you know. But I gotta admit, that game got me pumped too.
Mika: I haven't really been following the matches, but it sounds like it was a thrilling one. Speaking of passion, I've been pouring my energy into my music lately. Working on some new tracks, you know?
Schlatt: That's awesome, Mika! Can't wait to hear what you've been working on. You always bring a unique perspective to the group with your music.
Apandah: Unique, huh? Well, I've got some unique thoughts to share today, too. Brace yourselves, boys!
Aztro: Oh no, here we go. Buckle up, everyone. Apandah's about to drop some controversial takes again.
Schlatt: Just keep it within reason, Apandah. We don't want things going completely off the rails.
Apandah: Hey, I can't make any promises. But I'll do my best to keep it spicy yet palatable.
Mika: As long as we're respectful to each other, I'm open to hearing different perspectives. It's what makes our discussions interesting, after all.
Aztro: Couldn't agree more, Mika. It's all about embracing our differences and finding common ground, even when we have those outrageous moments.
Schlatt: Exactly, Aztro. That's what makes this podcast so special. We may not always see eye to eye, but we respect each other and have a damn good time doing it.
Apandah: Yeah, yeah, respect and all that. But let's not forget to inject some chaos and laughter into the mix. That's what keeps our listeners hooked!
Schlatt: Well said, Apandah. Let's bring the chaos, laughter, and some thought-provoking discussions to our audience. It's what they've come to love and expect from the Sleep Deprived Podcast.
And so, the hosts of the Sleep Deprived Podcast continue their banter, sharing their unique perspectives, controversial takes, and plenty of laughter along the way. Each one bringing their own flavor to the table, creating a dynamic and entertaining listening experience for their audience. ---
Schlatt: Alright, folks, let's move on to our next topic. Apandah, what do you have for us today?
Apandah: Ah, you know me, always bringing the spice. So, guys, have you ever heard of this thing called "gooning"?
Aztro: (laughs) Oh, Apandah, here we go again. Yeah, I've heard of it. It's when you... well, you know, engage in some "me time," if you catch my drift.
Schlatt: (chuckles) Yeah, it's a term that's been floating around. Some might call it chronic self-indulgence, if you will.
Apandah: (grinning) Ah, finally, some comrades who understand. You guys are on the same page.
Mika: (confused) Uh, sorry, guys, but I'm a bit out of the loop here. What exactly is "gooning"?
Aztro: (snickers) Oh, Mika, my innocent friend, you're in for a treat. Gooning refers to, um, well, let's just say it's an enthusiastic form of self-exploration.
Schlatt: (smirks) It's like a marathon of personal satisfaction, Mika. An adventure best embarked upon with a box of tissues and a can-do attitude.
Mika: (blushes) Oh... I see. I guess I've been out of touch with the latest terminology. Thanks for filling me in, guys.
Apandah: (laughs) Don't worry, Mika, we'll educate you on all the "important" things in due time. Consider it a crash course in internet culture.
Schlatt: (playfully) And remember, Mika, there's no shame in discovering new... uh, hobbies. Embrace the chaos!
Mika: (smiling) Well, as long as we can keep the discussions lively and respectful, I'm all for embracing the chaos, even if it means learning about "gooning."
And so, the conversation continues with Apandah's mention of "gooning," leading to an enlightening moment for Mika while the rest of the hosts share a knowing camaraderie, injecting laughter into the mix. They proceed to explore more topics, always ensuring a balance between fun, respect, and their unique dynamic on the Sleep Deprived Podcast.
---
Mika: Hey, guys, I've been meaning to tell you something. So, you know how we often discuss our different backgrounds and where we're from?
Schlatt: Yeah, what's up, Mika?
Mika: Well, funny story... I'm actually Canadian.
Aztro: (laughs) Wait, really? Mika, you've been hiding that this whole time? How did we not know?
Apandah: (teasingly) Oh, Mika, you sly Canadian. You've been infiltrating our New Yorker circle all along.
Schlatt: (narrows his eyes) Hold on a second. Canadian? And you've been pretending to be one of us this whole time? I can't believe it!
Mika: Schlatt, it's not like that. I've always been a part of the podcast. Nationality doesn't change that.
Schlatt: (in an overly dramatic tone) Nationality, huh? You know, Mika, it's not easy for a proud New Yorker like me to accept this. We're talking about deep-rooted rivalry here.
Aztro: Schlatt, come on, don't take it too seriously. It's just a friendly podcast. Mika being Canadian doesn't change anything.
Schlatt: (leaning in) Oh, it doesn't change anything, huh? Well, let me remind you of something, Aztro. 9/11.
Aztro: (taken aback) Whoa, Schlatt, that's unnecessary. We're all friends here. Let's not bring up sensitive topics.
Mika: Guys, come on. We can have fun banter without crossing the line. Nationality shouldn't divide us.
Apandah: Yeah, Schlatt, let's not go down that road. We're here to have a good time, not dwell on past events.
Schlatt: (softens) You're right, guys. I got carried away. I'm sorry, Mika. It doesn't matter where you're from; you're still an important part of our podcast.
Mika: Thanks, Schlatt. I appreciate that. Let's move forward and focus on the laughs and good times, regardless of our nationalities.
And so, a tense moment arises as Mika accidentally reveals his Canadian identity, leading to Schlatt's unnecessary offense and the mention of a sensitive topic. However, the other hosts quickly intervene, reminding everyone of the importance of friendship and unity. They reconcile, emphasizing the podcast's purpose: to share laughter and create an inclusive and enjoyable environment for their listeners.
---
Schlatt: Alright, boys, here's a question for you: Do you think we'll still be doing this podcast when we're old men?
Apandah: (laughs) Oh, Schlatt, can you imagine? A bunch of old dudes rambling on about the good old days? It would be hilarious.
Aztro: You know what, Apandah? I can totally picture it. We'll be sitting in our rocking chairs, reminiscing about the crazy conversations we had and how the internet has evolved.
Mika: It's an interesting thought. I mean, who knows what the future holds? Technology and platforms may change, but if there's still an audience that enjoys our banter, why not?
Schlatt: Absolutely, Mika. We'll be the wise, seasoned podcasters of our generation. Still bringing laughter and thought-provoking discussions, even with our old bones.
Apandah: (grinning) Can you imagine the kind of outrageous opinions we'll have as old men? We'll be the grandpas with hot takes, shaking our fists at the youngsters.
Aztro: And we'll have a whole new set of stories to share, experiences from our wild youth and the wisdom that comes with age. Our audience will be like, "Back in my day, we had the Sleep Deprived Podcast."
Schlatt: (chuckles) I can see it now. "The Sleep Deprived Podcast: The Golden Years Edition." We'll still be here, spreading chaos and laughter, keeping our audience entertained.
Mika: As long as we're still enjoying ourselves and bringing joy to others, age won't matter. We'll be the timeless voices of the podcasting world.
Apandah: And we'll have a whole new generation of fans who will appreciate our vintage charm.
Schlatt: Well, boys, it's settled then. We'll be the coolest old men in the podcasting universe. The Sleep Deprived Podcast will stand the test of time!
And so, the hosts of the Sleep Deprived Podcast contemplate the future and the possibility of continuing their podcast even in old age. With humor and enthusiasm, they envision themselves as seasoned podcasters, sharing stories, wisdom, and laughter with a whole new generation of listeners. The idea of "The Golden Years Edition" becomes a source of excitement and laughter as they embrace the possibility of a timeless podcasting legacy.
---
Apandah: Alright, guys, brace yourselves for this one. I've got a controversial take that might ruffle some feathers.
Schlatt: (curious) Oh boy, here we go. Lay it on us, Apandah.
Aztro: (laughs) Alright, let's see what you've got this time. Hit us with your wildest opinion.
Apandah: Okay, hear me out. Cereal is the worst breakfast food ever invented.
Mika: (surprised) Wait, what? Cereal? But... but it's a classic! It's been a breakfast staple for decades.
Schlatt: (raises an eyebrow) Apandah, you might have gone too far this time. Cereal is beloved by so many people. It's quick, easy, and comes in so many delicious flavors.
Apandah: (grinning) I know, I know. But think about it, guys. It's just a bowl of sugar-filled, nutritionally empty, crunchy bits. We could have so many better options for a healthy start to the day.
Aztro: (chuckles) Okay, Apandah, I see where you're coming from. Cereal can be high in sugar, and we should definitely encourage healthier choices. But completely dismissing it as the worst? I don't know about that.
Schlatt: (nodding) I agree with Aztro. Cereal has its flaws, sure, but it also has its place. It's quick and convenient, especially for those busy mornings. Plus, who doesn't love a bowl of their favorite childhood cereal every now and then?
Mika: (smiling) I think we can find a middle ground here, guys. Cereal may not be the healthiest option, but it does bring nostalgia and comfort. It's all about balance and moderation, as with everything.
Apandah: (grinning mischievously) Alright, alright, you got me. Maybe I went a bit overboard with that one. Cereal isn't the absolute worst, but I still stand by my point that we could use some healthier breakfast alternatives.
Schlatt: (laughs) Fair enough, Apandah. We'll keep that in mind. But let's not forget the joy that a good bowl of cereal can bring, even if it's not the most nutritious choice.
And so, Apandah's controversial take on cereal sparks a moment of disagreement, even among Schlatt and Aztro. However, they eventually find common ground, acknowledging the flaws of cereal while appreciating its nostalgic appeal and convenience. They reach a compromise, emphasizing the importance of balance and exploring healthier breakfast options. Laughter fills the air as they move on to lighter topics, leaving the cereal controversy behind.
---BONUS---
Schlatt: Ladies and gentlemen, tonight is a special night for the Sleep Deprived Podcast. We have a very distinguished guest joining us: Dr. Anthony Fauci!
Aztro: (excitedly) Oh wow, this is huge! Dr. Fauci, welcome to the Sleep Deprived Podcast. We're honored to have you here.
Dr. Fauci: Thank you for having me, gentlemen. It's a pleasure to be on your show.
Mika: Dr. Fauci, your work during the COVID-19 pandemic has been instrumental in guiding public health measures. How do you feel about the impact you've had on the world?
Dr. Fauci: Well, Mika, it's been a challenging journey, but I'm humbled to have played a role in providing scientific guidance and promoting public health. It's truly a team effort, and I'm grateful for the opportunity to make a difference.
Apandah: Dr. Fauci, you've faced criticism and even threats throughout the pandemic. How do you stay motivated and focused despite the challenges?
Dr. Fauci: Apandah, it's essential to stay focused on the science and the goal of protecting public health. While criticism is inevitable, my motivation comes from the knowledge that my work can help save lives. It's a responsibility I take seriously.
Schlatt: Dr. Fauci, there have been various conspiracy theories and misinformation circulating during the pandemic. How do you handle such misinformation and communicate effectively with the public?
Dr. Fauci: Schlatt, combating misinformation is a constant challenge. I believe in transparent and clear communication based on scientific evidence. It's crucial to address misinformation promptly and provide accurate information to the public to empower them to make informed decisions.
Aztro: Dr. Fauci, as we move forward and strive to recover from the pandemic, what lessons have we learned, and how can we be better prepared for future health crises?
Dr. Fauci: Aztro, one of the most important lessons is the necessity of a robust and coordinated global response to emerging health threats. We must strengthen public health infrastructure, invest in research and development, and promote collaboration and cooperation among nations to ensure we are better prepared for future challenges.
Mika: Dr. Fauci, before we wrap up, is there any message you'd like to share with our audience?
Dr. Fauci: Absolutely, Mika. I want to emphasize the importance of following trusted scientific guidance, getting vaccinated, and continuing to practice public health measures. We're not out of the woods yet, but together, we can overcome this pandemic and build a healthier, safer future.
Schlatt: Dr. Fauci, thank you so much for joining us today and sharing your insights. Your dedication to public health is truly inspiring.
Dr. Fauci: Thank you, Schlatt. It's been a pleasure being here with you all. Keep up the great work on the Sleep Deprived Podcast, and let's continue working towards a healthier world.
As the interview with Dr. Fauci comes to an end, the hosts of the Sleep Deprived Podcast express their gratitude for his valuable insights and dedication to public health. The conversation serves as an opportunity to address important pandemic-related topics and promote the importance of following trusted scientific guidance. The interview concludes on a positive note, leaving the audience inspired and motivated to navigate the ongoing challenges with resilience and unity.

Hey there!
I am a white, fuzzy, recently tested, dad bod havin', bi, top guy who is feeling a bit touch starved these days.
I am not just looking for a hookup. I'm not just looking to get you off. I am not looking to swap pics. I want a bit of intimacy instead of a pump and dump, so I figured I'd offer up an assist for someone looking to dip their toes into the guy on guy waters.
You: new(ish) to the mm experience, younger (than me, but still 18+ please), curious, and not an asshat. Smooth(ish), lanky, and kind of awkward are bonuses. Trans folk welcome. Ladies/couples, if you're interested... bring it!
I'm going to want to chat a bit (via dm or in person over drinks/coffee) before anything happens, not because I am looking for something long term, but because I prefer folks I know I'd want to see a second time (even if we never do). Definitely not looking to just fuck. Also not looking for RIGHT FREAKIN NOW so if you're in that much of a hurry, move along.
No expectations around what happens. Your comfort level and curiosity sets the stage. I can get myself off whenever I want to, I'm really good at it. This is about the playful intimacy for me.
If you're interested, drop me a message and tell me a bit about yourself and what you're looking for.
"Hi!" "Hey!" "What's up?" and other one line intros will be ignored. Also, please don't send pictures right off the bat, either.
Just to show you actually read this far, include the word "plentiful" somewhere in your message. Bonus points for making me laugh.

A little backstory: I've been together with my partner for 7 years now. We have had our fair share of problems. Just like most couples. Weve had fights where our relationship was on the line and for some reason or another we gave it another chance and kept it going. About 2 years ago my partner picked up a job with Amazon that threw her in a deep depression that has lasted till now. We were fighting a lot. Her mood was seriously affecting me. Last December, we got into a pretty big fight in front of friends and after that I was certain that we would end it right then and there. We didn't. I decided to work on myself and stop drinking and look into therapy. I was able to do so cold turkey and have been 6 months alcohol free and have never felt more in control of my emotions. Fast forward to a few weekends ago. My partner and I both go to school and are working full time. Finals week was upon us and the stress was definitely there. I had been so focused on my school and hobby that I hadn't realized that my house chores were not being prioritized. I only found out after letting my partner know that i planned a camping trip and was not goingg to be left with too much time to do house chores. At this point my mental health was really low and camping was my exit. My partner blew up and made me feel as if I wasn't doing enough around the house. (Granted, we had a deep conversation the night before about how I was stressed about not getting to all of my chores. She expressed to me that it's ok to take time for ourselves and leave chores at a halt) I froze and couldn't believe what I was experiencing especially after the conversation we had. I knew that i had dropped the ball by not prioritizing chores but for it to come to this, i was definitely surprised and caught off guard. Our house is not extremely dirty. We both are relatively clean people. I come home for lunch and try to do as many chores as I can while home. I then began to question if it was really the chores or the meal prepping we do weekly. I ended up going camping and when I got back it was almost as if nothing happened and we went with our lives. Forward to the following weekend. We had a repetition of the fight from last weekend. I wasn't prioritizing chores and that was upsetting her. I was so upset and couldn't think straight as I was so confused because not only do I take care of the outside of our house by mowing, weeding, gardening, i try and take care of inside chores as much as I can. I loads DN unload the dishwasher. Wash and fold towels etc. The problem is my collaboration when it comes to cooking. She can't stand cooking for me and constantly asks me if I want a housewife instead of a partner. I get so hurt by that. That fight ended up us calling off our engagement. I knew this is where this was going. Her depression has really been making this so difficult for both of us. When I proposed to her we were so happy. When the planning began she caved and her depression returned. The stress of the planning got to her to the point where she no longer talked about it, when before it was all she could talk about. After the fight we decided to still stay together but with the agreement of looking into therapy.
This has stressed me tremendously and started making me reconsider our relationship. It got to the point where I felt obligated to snoop into her phone. What I found was not great. She has messages from over 2 years ago where it seems as if she was talking to someone on another platform but messaged her on Twitter anyway. From the messages it looks like they were planning on dating but my partner ended up ghosting him. I also found a message from someone she met at a dance club while she was away on a work trip. She never messaged him back. Idk what to do or think. I'm supposed to look into couples therapy but I'm so confused and hurt that i don't know if I should continue with her. I love her with all that i have and have so for the past 7 years. I'm just at a loss, especially after finding those messages. I've asked multiple times if there is someone else or ever has been and she keeps saying no. I know that what I found aren't concrete evidence of cheating but it's sure leading that way. Any advise is greatly appreciated.
Tldr: My exfiance of 7 years was cought lying and doesn't know. She has had severe depression for the past couple of years and it's gotten to the point where I don't know if I can live with her. We had a fight that made us call our engagement off. I snooped and found multiple messages from other men regarding either dating or dancing in a night club. I'm willing to work it out in therapy, but I'm wondering if it's worth it or just move on?

So I will try to paint a quick picture here, but much like my short game I can get a bit long winded.
Booked a tee time for 9 this morning, couldn’t have asked for better weather so got a foursome together and was only able to find 9 holes around lunch time in the area. Find out (after paying full price for 9 holes) that there’s a high school tournament being held at the course. No biggie, pro shop says at worst we might have a bit of a wait towards the tail end. Again not a problem, last thing any of us wanted to do was get in the way of future golf addicts. We make it to hole 5 before we’re waiting 10-15 mins to tee off, doing our best to not even come close to the kids playing. After hole 6, we circle back finding a pocket of daylight back on hole 3 so rather than wait, we doubled back. We played 3 and 4 with no issue, but were approached by a cart headed straight for us on a par 3 while one of us was lined up to hit. It was a marshall, think nothing of it and back off to wait for him to get to us. He’s setting up for league, asks us what we’re doing, asks if we think it’s ok to steal from the golf course and tells us to go in and pay for another 9 before leaving. We tried explaining we doubled back to get through a full 9 and didn’t want to get in any of the kids way. We’re nowhere near anyone at this point so we figure 5 funnels towards the clubhouse so we’ll just hit, head towards the green, pick up and go. Marshall parks his cart on the tee box and says if we don’t leave he’s calling the cops. In the end we drove back to our cars, dropped our clubs off, didn’t pay for any additional golf and will take that course out of the rotation for a place that we usually play at least once a week.
Am I wrong for thinking the Marshall was a total dweeb and having no interest in ever returning to that course or is he in the right and we were the douches?
For the record, it was a Tuesday round after a holiday weekend, we weren’t drinking like usual or it’d likely be a different story..

"Come inside, the kids are upstairs." Molly was in a rush, I knew this much from the phone call we had earlier. She had never used me before but heard about me through word of mouth. Which meant that my little side hustle was starting to gain traction.
I am a babysitter for a good neighborhood. There's cars parked outside, lawns are manicured, and the occasional termite company is out doing rounds. I don't know why but I always feel as if there's a termite guy nearby, it's a pretty decent area. Which is a far cry from where I live, on the other side of the tracks, literally. There are train tracks that run through our town and it acts as a divide. But they didn't need to know that. They only needed to see the straightened hair, well spoken, fake braces wearing girl in glasses sporting a skirt that wasn't too short where the neighbors would talk.
Usually I sat down with new clients, have them introduce me to their kids (trust me it helps) in order to make a clear cut line with them that I am in their parent's employ and I am not there to be their bestfriend and will definitely tell on them if they act up or break something. That's not to say I won't play silly games with them, feed them, laugh, tell bed time stories, and age appropriate jokes. But I am nobody's rug.
That's what I usually do, but there wasn't such luxury this time. Molly called me on the phone and she sounded desperate for me to come out. I had concert tickets and told her that they were non-refundable and she suggested that if I could make it in 30 minutes then she'd pay me twice the amount for the tickets and 1.5x my usual rate. I got there in 29 minutes. It would have been sooner but I needed to air myself out if you know what I mean.
Anyways, Molly barely had time to look at my face, let alone get any of my credentials as she was rushing out. Working mom it looked like. Business, by the looks of the pencil skirt and the bag that doubled as a folder. It always amazes me how much trust some people put in others to watch their kids. What if I was a serial killer? Or a deranged lunatic? What if I killed the babysitter on my way here and now I'm in a house, alone, with all her children.
I'm not. But I mean, what if, right?
She didn't seem to think about any of these things, leaving me to mumble goodbyes as she pulled out of the driveway, barely audible as the turbos wound up and she shouted something out the window to the likes of, "It's all on the iPad".
Yeah, no more yellow lined paper stuck with the realtor's magnet on the fridge anymore. It's all digital now.
I closed the door and figured that I better check up on the kids before I did a rundown. God this house was beautiful. I climbed the stairs two at a time and rounded the hall. To be fair, calling it a hall was so basic of me. It was more like a wing. West wing madam. The wing could have fit my living room. I click my heels when I heard a snort come from behind me. I came to face a shaggy dog that was well groomed. The collar was black with an underline of blue. Tiffany's undoubtedly. "Hey," I reached a hand and scratched the mop of top. "Let's go find the kids," I tell the dog as if it could understand me.
There were a series of rooms, most of them closed, but it didn't take me a second guess which one was occupied. The second door on the left, I could hear a kid shouting obscenities about someone being trash. I knocked on that door first.
"Come in," he shouted still loud but slightly less angry.
I opened the door and saw a stereotypical gamer's room. Posters, action figures, a rocking gaming chair on the floor in front of a huge flat screen, and a boy about 9 or 10. He had on his headphones and was sipping a Dr. Pepper.
"Don't they know trash day is on Thursdays?"
He cocked his head and laughed, "If you're looking for my mom I think she's downstairs."
"I'm actually looking for you." And let me tell you something. The audacity of this younger generation. The way he looked at me. Almost made me feel as bad as how I felt when he shrugged his shoulders after he had a good look. "Excuse me," I walk in front of him and blocked the screen. "I'm your new babysitter."
He shrugged. "Cool."
"What's your name?"
"You can read all about it somewhere else."
"What?"
"It's all on the iPad," he told me.
"What's your name," I repeated.
He rolls his eyes and looks at me as if I had asked him a stupid question.
I don't budge.
He whined, "Bobbie. Now come on, the next rounds about to start." he pulled his headphones over his ears. I grabbed the remote to get his attention. "What. Hey come on."
"It's nice to meet you Bobbie. Your mom's going to be away for a few hours and I'll be here until she gets back. Dinner is at 6:00 and I will make snacks at 4:30."
"No cap," he motioned at the tv, "Now can I get back to my game.
"Sure I tell him." Pocketing the remote.
"Hey!"
"Bye," I tell him as I close the door behind me.
So I'm back out in the hallway. And I open a few more doors. Some were locked. Before I get into one that's rather plain. There's a picture hanging up behind the bed, a tv, some lamps and shade. On the bed sits an identical, about 9 or 10, twins it seems. Probably why Bobbie was tired of being asked which one he was.
This one was staring at the blank screen. No video games. And quiet. Now I've babysat my share of kids before, and have seen all sorts. Quiet kids are my favorite. They don't mind board games, or listening. Most often times they only need to be left alone. I don't do too much talking in case they get tired of hearing my voice. And I give them a lot of space. "Hey, sorry about that. I didn't think anyone was in here."
He turned to me slowly, "Hi. Are you the new sitter?"
I nodded, "Yup. And I'm guessing that you're Max. I'll be watching you guys while your mom is away."
"She's probably going to work."
"Yeah, looked like it." I see the iPad in his hands. "Hey. I was looking for that."
"She's always at work." He hands it over. "It's dead. And mom took the charger."
I tried not to sigh. This was not how I wanted things to go. "Well, ok. If you need anything. Let me know. Or else I can come get you at 4:30 for snacks and dinner at 6."
He nodded, "Thanks," and goes back to staring at the screen.
I smile but he doesn't see, so I leave, closing the door softly behind me.
I make my way downstairs, wandering into the kitchen and start taking stock of what's there. Which was practically everything. This kitchen was so chic that I half expected Gordon Ramsay to pop out and tell me that the banana bread I made didn't have a clue if he staked the curved yellow fruit down the middle (it's a bad question mark joke. Listen. I never said I was funny).
Once I made sure that there was food, or ingredients to make food. There wasn't much else to do. The house was spotless. The kids were fine. And even the dog seemed well behaved. So I plopped on the couch, took out my fake braces, and watched tv until about 4:10 before I started slicing apples and celery to go with some peanut butter.
I fed the dog some peanut butter and licked my fingers (not with the hand I fed the dog with), before heading upstairs. Bobbie took the plate no problem but I couldn't find Max for the life of me. I wandered the rooms as the dog followed, still trying to lick my hand. "Max, I've got snacks." I knocked on what seemed like the umpteenth door before I get to a rather solid oak one that seemed custom.
Inside was the biggest home library I had ever seen. And I once dog sat for a pretentious professor from the college nearby. I mean, there was a portrait of said academic holding his dog in 18th century art style hanging over the mantle place of the deep wood cabinets filled with books. And yet this library made the other one look like a neighborhood book exchange birdbox.
"Holy..."
"Cow."
I whirled around to find Max standing in the doorway.
"You shouldn't wander into Father's study."
"I was just looking for you," holding up the plate. He made a face. "What? You don't like PB&C?" I took a stick and crunched on the celery.
"I'm not hungry."
I shrug. "Take it anyway. In case you get hungry."
He grabs the plate from me without much struggle so I decide to leave him be. I went back downstairs and crashed in front of the tv.
When I woke up. It was dark. My mouth was dry and all of the lights were off. The screen saver flashed the logo in blinks, lighting up the room only momentarily. For a second I forgot where I was and felt my heart thumping in my chest. My alarm didn't go off but I don't know why I woke up. Then I heard it again. The sound that must have jerked me awake. A crash. It came from upstairs. I grab my phone and glance down at the numbers. It was 8:10. I had slept through dinner. Shit. Shit. Shit. Here I was trying to make a good first impression and I missed out on dinner.
I wipe what drool was on my face and took to the stairs. Bobbie was probably so immersed in his game that he probably didn't even know he was hungry. Max on the other hand. "Max?" I call out down the hall. All of the doors are shut. I can hear something panting behind me. I turn to see the dog again. Its head is down and there's barely any light touching its face. "Hey come here," I called but it retreated in the opposite direction.
Then I shit me not. I heard a creaking come from behind me. It was the only noise in the house. I couldn't even hear Bobbie yelling in his room. I turn slowly and see one of the doors down the hall is now slightly ajar. It's dark in here. It was dark everywhere. I pressed my hands against the wall searching for a light switch. "Bobbie," I call out. There's no answer. "Hey, sorry about the delay in dinner. I'm going to get to it now."
Why was this place so big? And why could I see the door?
"Bobbie. Max?" I hear the dog tapping its paws behind me. Someone on the other side of the house by now. "Hey, where are you guys?" I peer at the single door that's open and realized why it was so prominent. The hall was dark, but what was inside was even darker. Instead of going toward it, I try the first knob my blind fingers came across. Process of elimination I told myself. It was locked. I tried the next one. Also locked. I finally get to Bobbie's door and I knock. "Bobbie." There's no answer. I press my head against the door and listen. But I don't hear a single sound.
"Where are all the light switches in this place!"
The door that was open before slightly opens again. Creaking, *tic tic tic tic*, with each ungreased turn of the hinge. "Shit. Hey, stop playing around."
There's laughing coming from behind me. It sounded like a little kids. Too young to be either of the boys. Followed by smaller footsteps. It sounded like they were barefoot. "Hey, this isn't funny. I'm going to tell your mother when she gets home." I take out my phone and turn on the flashlight. "When is she coming home?" It was almost 8:30, when I realized that we never set a time.
I hear footsteps again, they were odd. Almost like falling. Like a toddler learning how to run for the first time but the hollow ground sounded as if the person was much heavier. I shine my flashlight over the hall. "Shit." The dog was sitting on all fours in the corner. It was facing the wall. I couldn't even see his face. Every hair on its body completely still.
"Hey," I called out. "Come here." I clicked my tongue. "Come here." The dog didn't move. I couldn't even see it breathing.
Bang! It sounded like thunder behind me. As if someone dropped something on the floor. As if something fell off a shelf or was pushed. I jumped around and shone my light down the west wing. I didn't know if I should have been more or less afraid now that the door was closed. "Bobbie? Max?"
God. I did not want to try the door. And I stood there for a minute before realizing how stupid I must have looked. These were some rich kids playing a joke on you Camilia. I know it. The thought of their smug little faces made me stomp out of my frozen state. I took a couple of strides over and grabbed the handle.
"Fuck!" The thing was hot. "What the hell! You guys could have hurt me," I yelled. I banged on the door. "Open up. You two are in so much trouble." I banged on the door again. "Open the door. Right now!" I could hear something on the other side. It sounded like shuffling. Heavy furniture perhaps. "You guys better not be messing things up in there. I'm not going to clean it. I mean it."
I banged on the door. "I can hear you in there! Now come on!" I put my hands on my hips and tapped my foot. "I'm waiting. Your little jokes over now." I banged on the door again.
That's when the door knocked back.
It wouldn't have scared me. I don't think. Except for the fact that I was surprised. And alone in the hall. Without any of the lights on. In a strange house. And before I could say anything else. Another door behind me knocked from the inside. "Shit. Both of you are in on this?" I grabbed the handle to the other door. It was also locked. I banged on it. "Come out right now. Max?"
But then a third door started knocked from down the hall. I felt my throat clump as I tried to swallow. "You guys weren't supposed to have anyone over." The knocking didn't stop. It kept echoing down the hall. "I'm not getting paid for three kids you know?"
Tat-tat-tat-tat. Tat-tat-tat.
I took a single step. And then all of the doors in the hallway suddenly started banging.
I almost tripped as I ran toward the stairs. The doors were thundering on so hard I thought they would crack their hinges. I skipped the stairs, the sounds chasing me as I tried to not fall and break my neck. When I got to the front landing I hear someone say my name.
"Camilia. Are you okay?"
I'm trying not to choke on a lung here as I shot my eyes toward the kitchen. The kids are sitting on the barstools lining the counter. There are two plates in front of them. As if they didn't hear the drumline upstairs.
"Is it dinner time yet," one of them asks quietly.
"Max?"
He smiles.
"Kids. I think there's someone in the house." I rush over to grab each of their hands. Bobbie's wrists are limp but it was Max's hands that shocked me. They were ice cold. I tried to let go but my fingers wouldn't uncurl.
He turns my hand over and says, "There's no one else in this house except us. I promise."
"No," I wasn't about to listen to the kid even if it was his house. "Something is wrong. We have to go. Now." I pick up Bobbie and he doesn't seem to want to move. "Come on Bobbie. Let's go." He looks over at Max who shrugs and get out of his seat.
Bobbie follows as I drag them toward the front door.
"Camilia," Max says.
"What?" He looked scared. Which made me turn toward what he was staring out. At the front door was a tall figure. I couldn't see its face through the glass. It was a stark figure of a man.
"Do you think it's your dad?"
Max shakes his head. I feel him pulling against my arm.
I call out to the man, "Hey! Who is it?" The man doesn't budge. "I'm calling the police." I turn to Bobbie, "Get the phone." He doesn't move. "Hey!" I'm trying to sound as angry as possible. "Get the fuck out of here!" I grabbed a roll of painter's tape from the side table and hurl it across the hall, hitting the glass squarely in the face where the man's head stood blocking the exit. He doesn't even twitch as the glass shakes.
"Come on," I grab their hands and rush to the back. I don't get 10 steps before I feel a scream crawl up my throat making me cough. The man was standing at the sliding door. "Fuck!" I drag the two of them with me towards the kitchen. It's a big place so there had to be a way out to the garage. We push through one of the doors and end up in the laundry room. The next door gets us out into a 3 car garage. My hands find the glowing green opener against the wall and I hear the opener fold seamlessly towards the ceiling.
It started with his feet. Then his ankles. His shins. Then his legs. Light poured in from behind him from the streetlamp. I watched as the door went to his waist before I hit the button for the garage to close, before rushing back inside. We make it into the kitchen to where I still see the tall man standing at the sliding door. A part of me wants to hide in the laundry room but I didn't want to be sandwiched in the middle of the house. So I pull the boys back up the stairs, back to where the doors banged themselves. Taking out my phone as we ascended, and called 911.
"This is the police operator speaking."
"HELLO", I hope they could hear me, "There are several men trying to get inside!"
"Men? Are you in any danger?"
"No! But they have us surrounded!"
"Why don't you go outside?"
My tongue suddenly felt numb in my mouth. Like I didn't know what to do with it. "W-what?"
"It's stranger in the house."
The line went dead as we hit the hallway.
I only took my eyes off of them for a second before Bobbie. Or Max. Runs down the hall. The one or the other already slipping through a door ahead. I look back down the stairs and see that the man is still standing in front of the doorway. I look back up and see the other boy also going through the same door. I take a single step and the doors start pounding on either side. I shut my eyes and turn around. Afraid to go. Almost deciding that these weren't my kids. That I should run away. I take a step backwards mouthing that I was sorry. But I was too scared to go! "Max! Bobbie!" My back foot sticks to the floor. I don't want to look down but the next step sticks too. I point my phone to the ground and see a trail of blood. And just behind me. It's the dog. Split right down the middle, its spine shiny and white, still facing the wall. I could see its organs still pulsing.
I couldn't go back downstairs. I couldn't go the other way. I couldn't leave them here. I couldn't be alone.
I ran after them. The thundering of the doors following me as frames fell to the floor. A vase rolled off a table in the hall. It came crashing at my feet. I run my shoulder through the door, except it wasn't locked. Which caused me to go crashing, sprawling to the floor. Running into the desk in the middle of the room.
The study.
Many of the books were off the shelves. The carpet was torn. There were curtains on fire. It was the first time a saw a window as they burned.
"Camilia!"
I hear one of their voices shouting at me.
"Camilia!" It came again. "Help!"
I get to my feet and start working my hands along the desk. I didn't have to search far. The bookcase directly behind the chair had been swung open. "Camilia!" I wipe the blood from my eyebrow where it had split and step into the tunnel behind the secret passage.
The tunnel started off tall and wide, but as I kept walking in. It got smaller and smaller. I started having to hunch. Several times I decided to turn back. But their voices would echo through, calling for me. Asking for help. "I'm coming!"
"I can't hold on! Camilia! Please!"
The twins cry for help bounced off the walls. I was finally on my hands and knees when I finally see two holes on either side. I'm afraid to look but then one of their voices came through clear as day. "Camilia." It was right in my ear now. I turned to see the boy naked and huddling, hugging his knees at the back of his hole.
"Camilia! Help! I don't want to play this game anymore!"
"Bobbie?"
"Help me!"
I look into the hole, the walls are pressing on my back and there's dust going into my lungs. I can barely turn my shoulder. "Crawl out!"
"I can't!"
"Crawl out! I'm right here." I take out my hand, "Come on!"
"Camilia!" Came a voice from the other side.
I turn my head and see Max in the other hole.
"No!" Bobbie shouts at me. "No!"
"Hold on," I tell him. "I'm going to get both of you out of here."
"No," Bobbie cries. "It's all his fault. He's the one that did it. He's the one that wants to get out!"
"Bobbie, what are you talking about."
"He's the one that put something in your drink so you'd fall asleep!"
"He's lying!" Max's voice rang through. "It's him! I saw him. Always in father's study! Reading those books! Trying out those things he reads. Those curses. Those spells. It's why the shadow men are after him! Camilia! You have to believe me."
I can hear Bobbie crying, "Why are you lying! I don't want to play anymore," he screeches. "I don't want to play!" He sobs. "You said you'd go away if I told you that I didn't want to play anymore."
I don't know what made me do it. It sure wasn't the nauseating squealing tantrum of the boy which made me reach for him first. Maybe it was because I wanted him to shut up. I don't know but I plunged my arm up to my shoulder in to grab his collar.
Instantly I screamed and saw tiny spiders, short thing legs with round white backs crawl over my arms. I shook my arm in the hole, trying to smother them against the walls. That only caused these long brown flat slugs to fall. I saw one land on my hand. It had three distinct tendon-like lines running across its back and was about a half inch long. I pulled my arm out of the hole as I felt it pierce its flat head into the back of my hand. I dropped my phone and heard it crack as the light splintered in the small, suffocating tunnel. But I didn't care as I looked at my hand and saw it burrowing its tiny spearhead below my skin. I grabbed at the wiggling tail still exposed and tried pulling it out.
It was like trying to pull our barbed wire. The spines on its body were facing me. So with each pull they dug deeper inside. I could see blood pooling under my skin, it was starting to turn purple as I tugged on its tail even harder. Until it gave. Popped right off and lay twitching in my hand. The head missing.
I couldn't take it anymore. Really. I had tried my best. I shake my head. "Bobbie. Bobbie. I'm sorry." But it didn't matter. When I looked over at Bobbie. He was covered in it. All of it. Even the spiders.
My jeans started shifting as I tried to wiggle myself out of there. But I hear Max's cry again. "Camilia! Please!"
"No," I whimpered. Shaking. I couldn't reach my hand in there again. But his voice was so scared. More scared than the pain I felt.
I shot my arm inside. Bracing. Waiting for the pain. But there was none. Instead my hands grasped around his collar and I felt his cold clammy skin, and yanked him from the hole. He came without much struggle. His face covered in the soot of it all. "Camilia," he cried. "You picked me. You did it."
I didn't have the heart to tell him that I almost didn't.
"Come on," I cried. "We. Have. To go."
The two of us wiggled our way out of there, crawling on our hands and knees, and running when we could. We finally make it back into the study. And the fire is roaring now. One of the books fall from the shelves and when it hit the fire I swear it started screaming. There was so much smoke that I couldn't see. And the door was covered by the flames.
I pointed to the window, the curtains on the floor in ashes. I kick the window. It didn't budge. I coughed. I kicked it again. The glass shook. I kicked it again and my foot went through. Pieces of the glass still hung in the frame, I use the tips of my fingers and pull them back. They fall to the floor cracking until there was a hole big enough for me to get through.
I plunge my head out and take my first breath of fresh air. The moon was full and the sky was clear. I could hear sirens coming off in the distance. When both of my feet were on the roof. I reach my hand back and grab Max from the burning house. Together we run across the clay tiles and climb down the arched tree. The red fire truck comes screeching to a stop as several firemen help us down.
One of them pushes a breathing mask on me, and wraps me up. The neighbors are outside, and the police arrive. I see a familiar car come roaring down the street, screaming to a halt as Molly runs out. Her face is flustered and she's shouting. Pushing through the cops until she reaches me next to the ambulance.
"What happened," she literally screamed at me.
"I'm so sorry," I tell her. "There were these men." I take another breath. "I couldn't do anything! B-but I saved Max! I saved him!"
She looked at the house. It was blazing now in the cool night. "Oh my god. Is Bobbie still in there?" Molly starts to cry. "My baby!"
"Max. But Max." I cough. "Max is okay!"
And she turns to me. I wasn't expecting her to be grateful. But there's anger on her face. "You didn't save my son. But you saved our dog?"
I shake my head. "No. Max. Your other son." I looked around but he was nowhere to be found.
s

"Come inside, the kids are upstairs." Molly was in a rush, I knew this much from the phone call we had earlier. She had never used me before but heard about me through word of mouth. Which meant that my little side hustle was starting to gain traction.
I am a babysitter for a good neighborhood. There's cars parked outside, lawns are manicured, and the occasional termite company is out doing rounds. I don't know why but I always feel as if there's a termite guy nearby, it's a pretty decent area. Which is a far cry from where I live, on the other side of the tracks, literally. There are train tracks that run through our town and it acts as a divide. But they didn't need to know that. They only needed to see the straightened hair, well spoken, fake braces wearing girl in glasses sporting a skirt that wasn't too short where the neighbors would talk.
Usually I sat down with new clients, have them introduce me to their kids (trust me it helps) in order to make a clear cut line with them that I am in their parent's employ and I am not there to be their bestfriend and will definitely tell on them if they act up or break something. That's not to say I won't play silly games with them, feed them, laugh, tell bed time stories, and age appropriate jokes. But I am nobody's rug.
That's what I usually do, but there wasn't such luxury this time. Molly called me on the phone and she sounded desperate for me to come out. I had concert tickets and told her that they were non-refundable and she suggested that if I could make it in 30 minutes then she'd pay me twice the amount for the tickets and 1.5x my usual rate. I got there in 29 minutes. It would have been sooner but I needed to air myself out if you know what I mean.
Anyways, Molly barely had time to look at my face, let alone get any of my credentials as she was rushing out. Working mom it looked like. Business, by the looks of the pencil skirt and the bag that doubled as a folder. It always amazes me how much trust some people put in others to watch their kids. What if I was a serial killer? Or a deranged lunatic? What if I killed the babysitter on my way here and now I'm in a house, alone, with all her children.
I'm not. But I mean, what if, right?
She didn't seem to think about any of these things, leaving me to mumble goodbyes as she pulled out of the driveway, barely audible as the turbos wound up and she shouted something out the window to the likes of, "It's all on the iPad".
Yeah, no more yellow lined paper stuck with the realtor's magnet on the fridge anymore. It's all digital now.
I closed the door and figured that I better check up on the kids before I did a rundown. God this house was beautiful. I climbed the stairs two at a time and rounded the hall. To be fair, calling it a hall was so basic of me. It was more like a wing. West wing madam. The wing could have fit my living room. I click my heels when I heard a snort come from behind me. I came to face a shaggy dog that was well groomed. The collar was black with an underline of blue. Tiffany's undoubtedly. "Hey," I reached a hand and scratched the mop of top. "Let's go find the kids," I tell the dog as if it could understand me.
There were a series of rooms, most of them closed, but it didn't take me a second guess which one was occupied. The second door on the left, I could hear a kid shouting obscenities about someone being trash. I knocked on that door first.
"Come in," he shouted still loud but slightly less angry.
I opened the door and saw a stereotypical gamer's room. Posters, action figures, a rocking gaming chair on the floor in front of a huge flat screen, and a boy about 9 or 10. He had on his headphones and was sipping a Dr. Pepper.
"Don't they know trash day is on Thursdays?"
He cocked his head and laughed, "If you're looking for my mom I think she's downstairs."
"I'm actually looking for you." And let me tell you something. The audacity of this younger generation. The way he looked at me. Almost made me feel as bad as how I felt when he shrugged his shoulders after he had a good look. "Excuse me," I walk in front of him and blocked the screen. "I'm your new babysitter."
He shrugged. "Cool."
"What's your name?"
"You can read all about it somewhere else."
"What?"
"It's all on the iPad," he told me.
"What's your name," I repeated.
He rolls his eyes and looks at me as if I had asked him a stupid question.
I don't budge.
He whined, "Bobbie. Now come on, the next rounds about to start." he pulled his headphones over his ears. I grabbed the remote to get his attention. "What. Hey come on."
"It's nice to meet you Bobbie. Your mom's going to be away for a few hours and I'll be here until she gets back. Dinner is at 6:00 and I will make snacks at 4:30."
"No cap," he motioned at the tv, "Now can I get back to my game.
"Sure I tell him." Pocketing the remote.
"Hey!"
"Bye," I tell him as I close the door behind me.
So I'm back out in the hallway. And I open a few more doors. Some were locked. Before I get into one that's rather plain. There's a picture hanging up behind the bed, a tv, some lamps and shade. On the bed sits an identical, about 9 or 10, twins it seems. Probably why Bobbie was tired of being asked which one he was.
This one was staring at the blank screen. No video games. And quiet. Now I've babysat my share of kids before, and have seen all sorts. Quiet kids are my favorite. They don't mind board games, or listening. Most often times they only need to be left alone. I don't do too much talking in case they get tired of hearing my voice. And I give them a lot of space. "Hey, sorry about that. I didn't think anyone was in here."
He turned to me slowly, "Hi. Are you the new sitter?"
I nodded, "Yup. And I'm guessing that you're Max. I'll be watching you guys while your mom is away."
"She's probably going to work."
"Yeah, looked like it." I see the iPad in his hands. "Hey. I was looking for that."
"She's always at work." He hands it over. "It's dead. And mom took the charger."
I tried not to sigh. This was not how I wanted things to go. "Well, ok. If you need anything. Let me know. Or else I can come get you at 4:30 for snacks and dinner at 6."
He nodded, "Thanks," and goes back to staring at the screen.
I smile but he doesn't see, so I leave, closing the door softly behind me.
I make my way downstairs, wandering into the kitchen and start taking stock of what's there. Which was practically everything. This kitchen was so chic that I half expected Gordon Ramsay to pop out and tell me that the banana bread I made didn't have a clue if he staked the curved yellow fruit down the middle (it's a bad question mark joke. Listen. I never said I was funny).
Once I made sure that there was food, or ingredients to make food. There wasn't much else to do. The house was spotless. The kids were fine. And even the dog seemed well behaved. So I plopped on the couch, took out my fake braces, and watched tv until about 4:10 before I started slicing apples and celery to go with some peanut butter.
I fed the dog some peanut butter and licked my fingers (not with the hand I fed the dog with), before heading upstairs. Bobbie took the plate no problem but I couldn't find Max for the life of me. I wandered the rooms as the dog followed, still trying to lick my hand. "Max, I've got snacks." I knocked on what seemed like the umpteenth door before I get to a rather solid oak one that seemed custom.
Inside was the biggest home library I had ever seen. And I once dog sat for a pretentious professor from the college nearby. I mean, there was a portrait of said academic holding his dog in 18th century art style hanging over the mantle place of the deep wood cabinets filled with books. And yet this library made the other one look like a neighborhood book exchange birdbox.
"Holy..."
"Cow."
I whirled around to find Max standing in the doorway.
"You shouldn't wander into Father's study."
"I was just looking for you," holding up the plate. He made a face. "What? You don't like PB&C?" I took a stick and crunched on the celery.
"I'm not hungry."
I shrug. "Take it anyway. In case you get hungry."
He grabs the plate from me without much struggle so I decide to leave him be. I went back downstairs and crashed in front of the tv.
When I woke up. It was dark. My mouth was dry and all of the lights were off. The screen saver flashed the logo in blinks, lighting up the room only momentarily. For a second I forgot where I was and felt my heart thumping in my chest. My alarm didn't go off but I don't know why I woke up. Then I heard it again. The sound that must have jerked me awake. A crash. It came from upstairs. I grab my phone and glance down at the numbers. It was 8:10. I had slept through dinner. Shit. Shit. Shit. Here I was trying to make a good first impression and I missed out on dinner.
I wipe what drool was on my face and took to the stairs. Bobbie was probably so immersed in his game that he probably didn't even know he was hungry. Max on the other hand. "Max?" I call out down the hall. All of the doors are shut. I can hear something panting behind me. I turn to see the dog again. Its head is down and there's barely any light touching its face. "Hey come here," I called but it retreated in the opposite direction.
Then I shit me not. I heard a creaking come from behind me. It was the only noise in the house. I couldn't even hear Bobbie yelling in his room. I turn slowly and see one of the doors down the hall is now slightly ajar. It's dark in here. It was dark everywhere. I pressed my hands against the wall searching for a light switch. "Bobbie," I call out. There's no answer. "Hey, sorry about the delay in dinner. I'm going to get to it now."
Why was this place so big? And why could I see the door?
"Bobbie. Max?" I hear the dog tapping its paws behind me. Someone on the other side of the house by now. "Hey, where are you guys?" I peer at the single door that's open and realized why it was so prominent. The hall was dark, but what was inside was even darker. Instead of going toward it, I try the first knob my blind fingers came across. Process of elimination I told myself. It was locked. I tried the next one. Also locked. I finally get to Bobbie's door and I knock. "Bobbie." There's no answer. I press my head against the door and listen. But I don't hear a single sound.
"Where are all the light switches in this place!"
The door that was open before slightly opens again. Creaking, *tic tic tic tic*, with each ungreased turn of the hinge. "Shit. Hey, stop playing around."
There's laughing coming from behind me. It sounded like a little kids. Too young to be either of the boys. Followed by smaller footsteps. It sounded like they were barefoot. "Hey, this isn't funny. I'm going to tell your mother when she gets home." I take out my phone and turn on the flashlight. "When is she coming home?" It was almost 8:30, when I realized that we never set a time.
I hear footsteps again, they were odd. Almost like falling. Like a toddler learning how to run for the first time but the hollow ground sounded as if the person was much heavier. I shine my flashlight over the hall. "Shit." The dog was sitting on all fours in the corner. It was facing the wall. I couldn't even see his face. Every hair on its body completely still.
"Hey," I called out. "Come here." I clicked my tongue. "Come here." The dog didn't move. I couldn't even see it breathing.
Bang! It sounded like thunder behind me. As if someone dropped something on the floor. As if something fell off a shelf or was pushed. I jumped around and shone my light down the west wing. I didn't know if I should have been more or less afraid now that the door was closed. "Bobbie? Max?"
God. I did not want to try the door. And I stood there for a minute before realizing how stupid I must have looked. These were some rich kids playing a joke on you Camilia. I know it. The thought of their smug little faces made me stomp out of my frozen state. I took a couple of strides over and grabbed the handle.
"Fuck!" The thing was hot. "What the hell! You guys could have hurt me," I yelled. I banged on the door. "Open up. You two are in so much trouble." I banged on the door again. "Open the door. Right now!" I could hear something on the other side. It sounded like shuffling. Heavy furniture perhaps. "You guys better not be messing things up in there. I'm not going to clean it. I mean it."
I banged on the door. "I can hear you in there! Now come on!" I put my hands on my hips and tapped my foot. "I'm waiting. Your little jokes over now." I banged on the door again.
That's when the door knocked back.
It wouldn't have scared me. I don't think. Except for the fact that I was surprised. And alone in the hall. Without any of the lights on. In a strange house. And before I could say anything else. Another door behind me knocked from the inside. "Shit. Both of you are in on this?" I grabbed the handle to the other door. It was also locked. I banged on it. "Come out right now. Max?"
But then a third door started knocked from down the hall. I felt my throat clump as I tried to swallow. "You guys weren't supposed to have anyone over." The knocking didn't stop. It kept echoing down the hall. "I'm not getting paid for three kids you know?"
Tat-tat-tat-tat. Tat-tat-tat.
I took a single step. And then all of the doors in the hallway suddenly started banging.
I almost tripped as I ran toward the stairs. The doors were thundering on so hard I thought they would crack their hinges. I skipped the stairs, the sounds chasing me as I tried to not fall and break my neck. When I got to the front landing I hear someone say my name.
"Camilia. Are you okay?"
I'm trying not to choke on a lung here as I shot my eyes toward the kitchen. The kids are sitting on the barstools lining the counter. There are two plates in front of them. As if they didn't hear the drumline upstairs.
"Is it dinner time yet," one of them asks quietly.
"Max?"
He smiles.
"Kids. I think there's someone in the house." I rush over to grab each of their hands. Bobbie's wrists are limp but it was Max's hands that shocked me. They were ice cold. I tried to let go but my fingers wouldn't uncurl.
He turns my hand over and says, "There's no one else in this house except us. I promise."
"No," I wasn't about to listen to the kid even if it was his house. "Something is wrong. We have to go. Now." I pick up Bobbie and he doesn't seem to want to move. "Come on Bobbie. Let's go." He looks over at Max who shrugs and get out of his seat.
Bobbie follows as I drag them toward the front door.
"Camilia," Max says.
"What?" He looked scared. Which made me turn toward what he was staring out. At the front door was a tall figure. I couldn't see its face through the glass. It was a stark figure of a man.
"Do you think it's your dad?"
Max shakes his head. I feel him pulling against my arm.
I call out to the man, "Hey! Who is it?" The man doesn't budge. "I'm calling the police." I turn to Bobbie, "Get the phone." He doesn't move. "Hey!" I'm trying to sound as angry as possible. "Get the fuck out of here!" I grabbed a roll of painter's tape from the side table and hurl it across the hall, hitting the glass squarely in the face where the man's head stood blocking the exit. He doesn't even twitch as the glass shakes.
"Come on," I grab their hands and rush to the back. I don't get 10 steps before I feel a scream crawl up my throat making me cough. The man was standing at the sliding door. "Fuck!" I drag the two of them with me towards the kitchen. It's a big place so there had to be a way out to the garage. We push through one of the doors and end up in the laundry room. The next door gets us out into a 3 car garage. My hands find the glowing green opener against the wall and I hear the opener fold seamlessly towards the ceiling.
It started with his feet. Then his ankles. His shins. Then his legs. Light poured in from behind him from the streetlamp. I watched as the door went to his waist before I hit the button for the garage to close, before rushing back inside. We make it into the kitchen to where I still see the tall man standing at the sliding door. A part of me wants to hide in the laundry room but I didn't want to be sandwiched in the middle of the house. So I pull the boys back up the stairs, back to where the doors banged themselves. Taking out my phone as we ascended, and called 911.
"This is the police operator speaking."
"HELLO", I hope they could hear me, "There are several men trying to get inside!"
"Men? Are you in any danger?"
"No! But they have us surrounded!"
"Why don't you go outside?"
My tongue suddenly felt numb in my mouth. Like I didn't know what to do with it. "W-what?"
"It's stranger in the house."
The line went dead as we hit the hallway.
I only took my eyes off of them for a second before Bobbie. Or Max. Runs down the hall. The one or the other already slipping through a door ahead. I look back down the stairs and see that the man is still standing in front of the doorway. I look back up and see the other boy also going through the same door. I take a single step and the doors start pounding on either side. I shut my eyes and turn around. Afraid to go. Almost deciding that these weren't my kids. That I should run away. I take a step backwards mouthing that I was sorry. But I was too scared to go! "Max! Bobbie!" My back foot sticks to the floor. I don't want to look down but the next step sticks too. I point my phone to the ground and see a trail of blood. And just behind me. It's the dog. Split right down the middle, its spine shiny and white, still facing the wall. I could see its organs still pulsing.
I couldn't go back downstairs. I couldn't go the other way. I couldn't leave them here. I couldn't be alone.
I ran after them. The thundering of the doors following me as frames fell to the floor. A vase rolled off a table in the hall. It came crashing at my feet. I run my shoulder through the door, except it wasn't locked. Which caused me to go crashing, sprawling to the floor. Running into the desk in the middle of the room.
The study.
Many of the books were off the shelves. The carpet was torn. There were curtains on fire. It was the first time a saw a window as they burned.
"Camilia!"
I hear one of their voices shouting at me.
"Camilia!" It came again. "Help!"
I get to my feet and start working my hands along the desk. I didn't have to search far. The bookcase directly behind the chair had been swung open. "Camilia!" I wipe the blood from my eyebrow where it had split and step into the tunnel behind the secret passage.
The tunnel started off tall and wide, but as I kept walking in. It got smaller and smaller. I started having to hunch. Several times I decided to turn back. But their voices would echo through, calling for me. Asking for help. "I'm coming!"
"I can't hold on! Camilia! Please!"
The twins cry for help bounced off the walls. I was finally on my hands and knees when I finally see two holes on either side. I'm afraid to look but then one of their voices came through clear as day. "Camilia." It was right in my ear now. I turned to see the boy naked and huddling, hugging his knees at the back of his hole.
"Camilia! Help! I don't want to play this game anymore!"
"Bobbie?"
"Help me!"
I look into the hole, the walls are pressing on my back and there's dust going into my lungs. I can barely turn my shoulder. "Crawl out!"
"I can't!"
"Crawl out! I'm right here." I take out my hand, "Come on!"
"Camilia!" Came a voice from the other side.
I turn my head and see Max in the other hole.
"No!" Bobbie shouts at me. "No!"
"Hold on," I tell him. "I'm going to get both of you out of here."
"No," Bobbie cries. "It's all his fault. He's the one that did it. He's the one that wants to get out!"
"Bobbie, what are you talking about."
"He's the one that put something in your drink so you'd fall asleep!"
"He's lying!" Max's voice rang through. "It's him! I saw him. Always in father's study! Reading those books! Trying out those things he reads. Those curses. Those spells. It's why the shadow men are after him! Camilia! You have to believe me."
I can hear Bobbie crying, "Why are you lying! I don't want to play anymore," he screeches. "I don't want to play!" He sobs. "You said you'd go away if I told you that I didn't want to play anymore."
I don't know what made me do it. It sure wasn't the nauseating squealing tantrum of the boy which made me reach for him first. Maybe it was because I wanted him to shut up. I don't know but I plunged my arm up to my shoulder in to grab his collar.
Instantly I screamed and saw tiny spiders, short thing legs with round white backs crawl over my arms. I shook my arm in the hole, trying to smother them against the walls. That only caused these long brown flat slugs to fall. I saw one land on my hand. It had three distinct tendon-like lines running across its back and was about a half inch long. I pulled my arm out of the hole as I felt it pierce its flat head into the back of my hand. I dropped my phone and heard it crack as the light splintered in the small, suffocating tunnel. But I didn't care as I looked at my hand and saw it burrowing its tiny spearhead below my skin. I grabbed at the wiggling tail still exposed and tried pulling it out.
It was like trying to pull our barbed wire. The spines on its body were facing me. So with each pull they dug deeper inside. I could see blood pooling under my skin, it was starting to turn purple as I tugged on its tail even harder. Until it gave. Popped right off and lay twitching in my hand. The head missing.
I couldn't take it anymore. Really. I had tried my best. I shake my head. "Bobbie. Bobbie. I'm sorry." But it didn't matter. When I looked over at Bobbie. He was covered in it. All of it. Even the spiders.
My jeans started shifting as I tried to wiggle myself out of there. But I hear Max's cry again. "Camilia! Please!"
"No," I whimpered. Shaking. I couldn't reach my hand in there again. But his voice was so scared. More scared than the pain I felt.
I shot my arm inside. Bracing. Waiting for the pain. But there was none. Instead my hands grasped around his collar and I felt his cold clammy skin, and yanked him from the hole. He came without much struggle. His face covered in the soot of it all. "Camilia," he cried. "You picked me. You did it."
I didn't have the heart to tell him that I almost didn't.
"Come on," I cried. "We. Have. To go."
The two of us wiggled our way out of there, crawling on our hands and knees, and running when we could. We finally make it back into the study. And the fire is roaring now. One of the books fall from the shelves and when it hit the fire I swear it started screaming. There was so much smoke that I couldn't see. And the door was covered by the flames.
I pointed to the window, the curtains on the floor in ashes. I kick the window. It didn't budge. I coughed. I kicked it again. The glass shook. I kicked it again and my foot went through. Pieces of the glass still hung in the frame, I use the tips of my fingers and pull them back. They fall to the floor cracking until there was a hole big enough for me to get through.
I plunge my head out and take my first breath of fresh air. The moon was full and the sky was clear. I could hear sirens coming off in the distance. When both of my feet were on the roof. I reach my hand back and grab Max from the burning house. Together we run across the clay tiles and climb down the arched tree. The red fire truck comes screeching to a stop as several firemen help us down.
One of them pushes a breathing mask on me, and wraps me up. The neighbors are outside, and the police arrive. I see a familiar car come roaring down the street, screaming to a halt as Molly runs out. Her face is flustered and she's shouting. Pushing through the cops until she reaches me next to the ambulance.
"What happened," she literally screamed at me.
"I'm so sorry," I tell her. "There were these men." I take another breath. "I couldn't do anything! B-but I saved Max! I saved him!"
She looked at the house. It was blazing now in the cool night. "Oh my god. Is Bobbie still in there?" Molly starts to cry. "My baby!"
"Max. But Max." I cough. "Max is okay!"
And she turns to me. I wasn't expecting her to be grateful. But there's anger on her face. "You didn't save my son. But you saved our dog?"
I shake my head. "No. Max. Your other son." I looked around but he was nowhere to be found.
​
s

My younger brother (M13) loves fishing. Our house has a pond, and my dad likes "keeping up the ecosystem", so every few years he buys fish to put in. This has led to an environment where my brother can fish from his own home. He has even bought a fountain after realizing that the fish would thrive with the water being better aerated. He spends most of these hot summer days outside with a fishing rod and has caught some pretty impressive fish. To make a long story short, he adores fishing. My brother is a catch-and-release fisher. He really values animals and their mortality, and he wouldn't harm a fly. He goes the passive route for almost everything. He believes in respecting nature and leaving it undisturbed as much as possible. He often takes pictures of the fish he catches and releases them back into the water unharmed, feeling satisfied with the experience of catching them rather than keeping them as trophies. Great value is put into preserving the environment and its inhabitants, which is why he always makes sure to clean up after himself when he goes fishing.
Earlier today, he came running to the front door with a fish on his rod, yelling something. I thought he was yelling to show us what he caught before he released it back into the pond. As I got closer, he yelled to call my dad, who was at work. I frantically called my dad and had my brother explain what had happened. The fish had the hook ripped through the gills and was bleeding out. He put the fish back in the water, trying to pry the hook out. He was unsuccessful with this, and the hook had completely torn up the inside of this fish. I couldn't help but feel a sense of sadness for the fish. It must have been in so much pain, struggling to survive as it bled out in the water. Despite my brother's best efforts to remove the hook, it seemed that the damage had already been done. The poor creature's insides were torn up, and there was little hope for its survival. It was a sobering reminder of the impact that our actions can have on the natural world around us. It was too far gone to even keep trying, as the fish had almost no life left in it. My dad on the phone expressed what we were all thinking: we needed to kill it and stop it from having a slow, painful death.
My brother was already on the verge of a panic attack trying to dig the hook out without hurting the fish more. He couldn't kill it or even look at it any longer. That left the job up to me. I was instructed to get a serrated bread knife and cut its head off. I hesitated, feeling a twinge of guilt at the thought of ending another living creature's life. But as I watched the fish struggle for breath, I knew it was the right thing to do. I dropped to my knees, lined up the knife under the gills, and cut through the fish as quickly as I could, so it died fast. It took less than a second, and the knife fell through with relative ease. My hands were red with blood. I took a deep breath and stood up, feeling a mix of emotions. On one hand, I was relieved that the fish's suffering had ended quickly. On the other hand, I couldn't help but feel a sense of sadness and guilt for taking its life. I couldn't shake the feeling that I was a monster. It died in my hands.

While I was deployed, and without my knowledge, my neighbor built a retaining wall across his back yard, which extends about 8 feet over the property line onto my property. The wall is poured concrete, and creates about a six foot drop off, which I think is unsafe for children.
Can I remove the portion of the wall that extends onto my property, even though the poured concrete I remove from my property may eventually affect the rest of the structural integrity of the wall on his property?
I live in Michigan.

When it pertains to downwinders or the people of Nagasaki/Hiroshima the general consensus seems to be that the fallout they were exposed to directly caused an increase in cancer and other health issues. Articles about the effects all are more less portray the bombs/tests in a negative light. You can find all kinds of "reliable" sources on the massive increases of leukemia, thyroid cancer in children, and detrimental genetic effects
Yet, when it comes to Chernobyl or Fukushima, the official sources all state that the cancer effects are minimal and barely anyone was affected. Even when they're presented with irrefutable evidence that something is wrong, they just brush it off:

Based on the experience of the Fukushima screening, the consortium does not recommend mass or population-based thyroid cancer screening, as the negative psychological and physical effects are likely to outweigh any possible benefit in affected populations

-Science Direct
But not everyone agrees with the "Over-diagnosis" line of BS they're feeding us:

"This is more than expected and emerging faster than expected," lead author Toshihide Tsuda told The Associated Press during a visit to Tokyo. "This is 20 times to 50 times what would be normally expected."

-NBC
Not everyone agrees on the radiation released or how much damage the Chernobyl incident caused either
Chernobyl put 400x more radioactive material into the atmosphere than the bomb dropped on Hiroshima
Fukushima released 168x more radioactive material than the bomb dropped on Hiroshima
You cannot tell me that either of those events caused less radiation related illnesses than the atomic bombs. People live in Hiroshima and Nagasaki right now, Pripyat has been abandoned since 1986 and looks like its going to stay that way for a long time. Why do they want to cover up the damage from one thing yet acknowledge the damage from another?

Not all change is bad, but not all change is advantageous either, especially when it involves disfigurations and body part swapping. ‘What doesn’t kill you, only makes you stronger.’ I tend to disagree in certain circumstances. I doubt surviving a train wreck makes you stronger. At this point in my life, I feel as weak as I have ever been. I feel odd and peculiar, a stranger to my own body, a monster to my soul.
Several months ago, as I was lying in bed a wave of red light poured in through my window, accompanied by a hypnotic vibrating purr, that put me in a deep sleep. When I woke up my left hand felt swollen. At first, I thought nothing of it but as I went through my morning routine, things felt different. My grasp wasn’t as strong, but it wasn’t just that, it felt as if I had a different tactile sensation altogether. I finally became conscious of the extent of the difference when I went to brush my teeth.
I grabbed the toothbrush with my right hand and the tube of toothpaste with my left hand. As I tried to line the nozzle to the toothbrush, I noticed that my left hand was slightly bigger than my right hand, and had a darker skin tone. The contrast was striking. I have a very fair skin complexion. My mom always said that I was ‘Irish’ white, that she would lose sight of me walking to the mailbox through a snowstorm.
I dropped the dental toiletries in the sink. I held my hands up in front of my face. I never chewed my nails, but on my left hand, the nails were almost chewed down to the cuticle. I turned my hands over and they were as different as night and day. The left was calloused from hard work and dedicated labor, the other was the pampered hands of a college student. Around the wrist of my new left hand was a bracelet of thick dark stitches, hardly signifying friendship or wealth.
I had to call the police, but when I got my phone, there was a text message:
Don’t go to the police, or we’ll remove your head. No more procedures needed.
I wasn’t too sure what to do at that point. Whoever did this was able to- in one night- knock me out, surgically remove my hand and replace it with someone else’s hand. If they were able to do that, then I was certain they would be able to get in and do much worse.
Luckily, I was in between semester, no classes to attend, nothing as of yet to explain. Even though it was hot as hell and it was in the middle of Summer, I put on a long sleeve shirt and a pair of gloves. My left glove barely fit, and the phrase ‘If it don’t fit, you must acquit’ popped in my head. I frequented the food truck parked in the convenient store parking lot near my apartment building at least three times a week. They have the best burrito I have ever eaten, bursting with meat and spices, not any of those lean stingy burritos you get at traditional restaurants. But lately, there has been this strange street person hanging out at the corner. He showed up around a month before my ordeal. He was not begging for money but preaching about an invasion. He was always dressed as if it was forty below zero.
Instead of walking along the sidewalk, I decided to climb down the hill from my apartment that led directly to the back of the convenient store. From my deck, I could watch the customers go in and out of the store. The apartment building sat on a high hill overlooking the street below. I could see that the homeless man wasn’t at his usual corner, but I didn’t want to take any chance.
I got down the hill and hopped down from the retaining wall, when all of the sudden he jumped out from behind the dumpster, dressed in a long trench coat, gloves, a ski mask, and a scarf wrapped around his neck.
“They got ya son. They’ve tagged you. I saw the red light. I’ve been tracking them for a while. You ain’t getting away and they ain’t stopping. You need to come with me.”
“Mister, I don’t have any money I can give you.”
“I don’t want your damn money son. I’m here to save your life."
I tried to walk past him, but he blocked my path and pushed me back. As he did so he started unwrapping his scarf and pulling off his ski mask. I resumed my attempt to get to my favorite burrito, but he blocked me again. I was looking down, not paying attention, so I didn’t notice that he was completely unmasked with his trench coat and shirt laying on the ground.
“Look here!”
I looked up to see the most grotesque, confusing human being I had ever perceived. He was a patchwork of different races, different skin tones, and stitched up scars running throughout his body and face like a map of a river and its many tributaries. His nose was completely foreign to his face and both eyes were awkwardly strung together from two different individuals. Worst of all, there was a large scar around his neck, indicating that this head had been removed and reattached.
“They told you that they were done, right?” I nodded my head in agreement. “Well, I’m proof that they are a bunch of damn liars. I hate to tell you this, but your life is over as you know it. You can come with me and stay intact or refuse my help and become what I am today.”
I should have taken his advice, but I wasn’t in a state to comprehend the reality of my situation. I was still unsure of what I had seen this morning. I was trying to convince myself that I had just slept on my hand or had a bad dream and slammed it against the wall. It was just swollen, not someone else’s hand.
“I’m fine man. I just want a burrito. Leave me alone, please.”
“Alright. I’ll still be here when you are ready. There’s a place we like to call the Island of Misfit Toys. You know from Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. You’ll be safe there. I promise you, its not going away.”
I started to walk away, determined to ignore him, but then he said something that caught my attention.
“I bet you are O negative blood type. All us misfit toys are O negative. Universal donor baby. Now how did I know that? You still want to turn a blind eye.”
He was correct, but I persisted in my stubbornness and walked away. That day the burrito just didn’t taste as well as it normally did. Was there a new cook? I didn’t notice. Or worse, had they already replaced my tongue with someone else’s, whoever they were?
There weren’t any other occurrences for the next month. I made sure to sleep in the living room on the couch with the television on. Still, Mr. Frankenstein stood on the corner, waiting for me. I didn’t visit the food truck that entire month, didn’t have the usual craving and sure as hell didn’t want to have another confrontation.
The next month was my wake-up call. I was dozing off when the television shut off by itself. I heard that familiar hum and saw the red light moving through the front window. I put my fingers in my ears, closed my eyes and stumbled to the bathroom. I started singing to myself, hoping to drown out the noise and stay conscious. I opened my eyes for a second and saw that the red light was moving under the door, and bending upwards towards my face. I shut my eyes again.
The bathroom door slammed open. I closed my eyes tighter, so much so that I saw twinkling stars and sparks. I felt two hands grasp me by the shoulders and lift me up in the air. I opened my eyes. There standing before me was tall hairless grey being in a long black cloak. The creature had no eyes, small narrow nostrils, but a large gaping mouth, affixed open as if the creature was unable to close it. On his shoulder was a smaller green creature with a bulbous head and large eyes. It was not clothed and would ever so often lay its forehead against the side of the larger creature’s neck. It seemed to be a symbiotic relationship.
The larger creature lifted up his three-fingered hand. Out of the palm of his hand radiated a red light. The smaller creature was somehow making the humming noise, and within a few seconds I lost consciousness.
The next morning, I woke up in my bedroom upstairs. I frantically searched my entire body but saw nothing, but I wasn’t convinced by that cursory search, and sure enough, my suspicions were correct. Staring back at me was a somewhat unfamiliar face. My right eye was now green instead of blue, and the skin tone around it was darker. Even my eyebrow was more pointed. Encircling a wide area of the eye was a ring of stitches. I fell to the floor, exasperated by what I had seen, and what I had become. It was time to visit Mr. Frankenstein.
I didn’t try to hide my eye. I can easily explain it away as corrective surgery, the first of its kind, if anyone was so bold, or rude, to ask. I found him at the corner as expected. He didn’t gloat or say ‘I told you so.’ He was sympathetic.
“I’m sorry man. Come on. Let me take you to your new home.”
“There’s no way to fight them… or stop them?”
“Maybe in time, but all we know how to do right now is hide and keep them from tracking us.”
“How do you keep them from tracking us?” I asked.
“You’re not going to like it, but we got to dig a tracking device from in between you lower ribcage.”
I wasn’t too thrilled about that but then again, I’d rather go through a little suffering on the front end to avoid any more experimental alien body part swapping.
We walked down the main highway to a backroad where there was an old, abandoned warehouse. He gave a coded knock to let him know that it was a friend and then turned to me.
“By the way, what’s your name?”
“Robert, but you can call me Rob.”
“I’m Frank, as in Frankenstein.”
I laughed and explained to him that I had already begun calling him Mr. Frankenstein. I felt a little weird admitting that, so I apologized.
“No need to apologize. I like the name. I honestly don’t know my real name. I just picked that one.”
The door opened and there was a hooded man with his face hidden.
“Welcome home Frank. Got a new one huh?”
“Yep, sure do Phil. Let’s make him feel at home.”
We walked through the door into a small homemade foyer. Some drywall had been thrown up and fortified with wooden pallets and barbed wire. There was yet another door. It was a thick steel door with a peephole. Phil gave another coded knock. A woman armed with a gun slung over her shoulders opened the door. Her face was riddled with scars and one of her eyes were bulging. She had the same mismatched facial features that Frank had.
“Welcome to the Isle of Misfit Toys,” announced Frank.
It was a big open space with many cots strewn about all four walls. As we walked around and toured my new home, Frank introduced me to everyone. It was all the same. The scars and parts were different, but the procedure was recognizable. There were even children, little misshapen research subjects imprisoned in a world devoid of holidays and birthday parties, or at least in the normal sense. This world tries to operate as normal, but in the end, its difficult to be normal when you’re hidden and locked away in a warehouse. We’re all victims traumatized by our encounters with ghastly reminders etched on our bodies and faces. Our minds are no less effected. There’s a big handwritten sign hanging over the entrance door. It reads: No Red Lights.

Not all change is bad, but not all change is advantageous either, especially when it involves disfigurations and body part swapping. ‘What doesn’t kill you, only makes you stronger.’ I tend to disagree in certain circumstances. I doubt surviving a train wreck makes you stronger. At this point in my life, I feel as weak as I have ever been. I feel odd and peculiar, a stranger to my own body, a monster to my soul.
Several months ago, as I was lying in bed a wave of red light poured in through my window, accompanied by a hypnotic vibrating purr, that put me in a deep sleep. When I woke up my left hand felt swollen. At first, I thought nothing of it but as I went through my morning routine, things felt different. My grasp wasn’t as strong, but it wasn’t just that, it felt as if I had a different tactile sensation altogether. I finally became conscious of the extent of the difference when I went to brush my teeth.
I grabbed the toothbrush with my right hand and the tube of toothpaste with my left hand. As I tried to line the nozzle to the toothbrush, I noticed that my left hand was slightly bigger than my right hand, and had a darker skin tone. The contrast was striking. I have a very fair skin complexion. My mom always said that I was ‘Irish’ white, that she would lose sight of me walking to the mailbox through a snowstorm.
I dropped the dental toiletries in the sink. I held my hands up in front of my face. I never chewed my nails, but on my left hand, the nails were almost chewed down to the cuticle. I turned my hands over and they were as different as night and day. The left was calloused from hard work and dedicated labor, the other was the pampered hands of a college student. Around the wrist of my new left hand was a bracelet of thick dark stitches, hardly signifying friendship or wealth.
I had to call the police, but when I got my phone, there was a text message:
Don’t go to the police, or we’ll remove your head. No more procedures needed.
I wasn’t too sure what to do at that point. Whoever did this was able to in one night, knock me out, surgically remove my hand and replace with someone else’s hand. If they were able to do that, then I was certain they would be able to get in and do much worse.
Luckily, I was in between semester, no classes to attend, nothing as of yet to explain. Even though it was hot as hell and it was in the middle of Summer, I put on a long sleeve shirt and a pair of gloves. My left glove barely fit, and the phrase ‘If it don’t fit, you must acquit’ popped in my head. I frequented the food truck parked in the convenient store parking lot near my apartment building at least three times a week. They have the best burrito I have ever eaten, bursting with meat and spices, not any of those lean stingy burritos you get at traditional restaurants. But lately, there has been this strange street person hanging out at the corner. He showed up around a month before my ordeal. He was not begging for money but preaching about an invasion. He was always dressed as if it was forty below zero.
Instead of walking along the sidewalk, I decided to climb down the hill from my apartment that led directly to the back of the convenient store. From my deck, I could watch the customers go in and out of the store. The apartment building sat on a high hill overlooking the street below. I could see that the homeless man wasn’t at his usual corner, but I didn’t want to take any chance.
I got down the hill and hopped down from the retaining wall, when all of the sudden he jumped out from behind the dumpster, dressed in a long trench coat, gloves, a ski mask, and a scarf wrapped around his neck.
“They got ya son. They’ve tagged you. I saw the red light. I’ve been tracking them for a while. You ain’t getting away and they ain’t stopping. You need to come with me.”
“Mister, I don’t have any money I can give you.”
“I don’t want your damn money son. I’m here to save your life."
I tried to walk past him, but he blocked my path and pushed me back. As he did so he started unwrapping his scarf and pulling off his ski mask. I resumed my attempt to get to my favorite burrito, but he blocked me again. I was looking down, not paying attention, so I didn’t notice that he was completely unmasked with his trench coat and shirt laying on the ground.
“Look here!”
I looked up to see the most grotesque, confusing human being I had ever perceived. He was a patchwork of different races, different skin tones, and stitched up scars running throughout his body and face like a map of a river and its many tributaries. His nose was completely foreign to his face and both eyes were awkwardly strung together from two different individuals. Worst of all, there was a large scar around his neck, indicating that this head had been removed and reattached.
“They told you that they were done, right?” I nodded my head in agreement. “Well, I’m proof that they are a bunch of damn liars. I hate to tell you this, but your life is over as you know it. You can come with me and stay intact or refuse my help and become what I am today.”
I should have taken his advice, but I wasn’t in a state to comprehend the reality of my situation. I was still unsure of what I had seen this morning. I was trying to convince myself that I had just slept on my hand or had a bad dream and slammed it against the wall. It was just swollen, not someone else’s hand.
“I’m fine man. I just want a burrito. Leave me alone, please.”
“Alright. I’ll still be here when you are ready. There’s a place we like to call the Island of Misfit Toys. You know from Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. You’ll be safe there. I promise you, its not going away.”
I started to walk away, determined to ignore him, but then he said something that caught my attention.
“I bet you are O negative blood type. All us misfit toys are O negative. Universal donor baby. Now how did I know that? You still want to turn a blind eye.”
He was correct, but I persisted in my stubbornness and walked away. That day the burrito just didn’t taste as well as it normally did. Was there a new cook? I didn’t notice. Or worse, had they already replaced my tongue with someone else’s, whoever they were?
There weren’t any other occurrences for the next month. I made sure to sleep in the living room on the couch with the television on. Still, Mr. Frankenstein stood on the corner, waiting for me. I didn’t visit the food truck that entire month, didn’t have the usual craving and sure as hell didn’t want to have another confrontation.
The next month was my wake-up call. I was dozing off when the television shut off by itself. I heard that familiar hum and saw the red light moving through the front window. I put my fingers in my ears, closed my eyes and stumbled to the bathroom. I started singing to myself, hoping to drown out the noise and stay conscious. I opened my eyes for a second and saw that the red light was moving under the door, and bending upwards towards my face. I shut my eyes again.
The bathroom door slammed open. I closed my eyes tighter, so much so that I saw twinkling stars and sparks. I felt two hands grasp me by the shoulders and lift me up in the air. I opened my eyes. There standing before me was tall hairless grey being in a long black cloak. The creature had no eyes, small narrow nostrils, but a large gaping mouth, affixed open as if the creature was unable to close it. On his shoulder was a smaller green creature with a bulbous head and large eyes. It was not clothed and would ever so often lay its forehead against the side of the larger creature’s neck. It seemed to be a symbiotic relationship.
The larger creature lifted up his three-fingered hand. Out of the palm of his hand radiated a red light. The smaller creature was somehow making the humming noise, and within a few seconds I lost consciousness.
The next morning, I woke up in my bedroom upstairs. I frantically searched my entire body but saw nothing, but I wasn’t convinced by that cursory search, and sure enough, my suspicions were correct. Staring back at me was a somewhat unfamiliar face. My right eye was now green instead of blue, and the skin tone around it was darker. Even my eyebrow was more pointed. Encircling a wide area of the eye was a ring of stitches. I fell to the floor, exasperated by what I had seen, and what I had become. It was time to visit Mr. Frankenstein.
I didn’t try to hide my eye. I can easily explain it away as corrective surgery, the first of its kind, if anyone was so bold, or rude, to ask. I found him at the corner as expected. He didn’t gloat or say ‘I told you so.’ He was sympathetic.
“I’m sorry man. Come on. Let me take you to your new home.”
“There’s no way to fight them… or stop them?”
“Maybe in time, but all we know how to do right now is hide and keep them from tracking us.”
“How do you keep them from tracking us?” I asked.
“You’re not going to like it, but we got to dig a tracking device from in between you lower ribcage.”
I wasn’t too thrilled about that but then again, I’d rather go through a little suffering on the front end to avoid any more experimental alien body part swapping.
We walked down the main highway to a backroad where there was an old, abandoned warehouse. He gave a coded knock to let him know that it was a friend and then turned to me.
“By the way, what’s your name?”
“Robert, but you can call me Rob.”
“I’m Frank, as in Frankenstein.”
I laughed and explained to him that I had already begun calling him Mr. Frankenstein. I felt a little weird admitting that, so I apologized.
“No need to apologize. I like the name. I honestly don’t know my real name. I just picked that one.”
The door opened and there was a hooded man with his face hidden.
“Welcome home Frank. Got a new one huh?”
“Yep, sure do Phil. Let’s make him feel at home.”
We walked through the door into a small homemade foyer. Some drywall had been thrown up and fortified with wooden pallets and barbed wire. There was yet another door. It was a thick steel door with a peephole. Phil gave another coded knock. A woman armed with a gun slung over her shoulders opened the door. Her face was riddled with scars and one of her eyes were bulging. She had the same mismatched facial features that Frank had.
“Welcome to the Isle of Misfit Toys,” announced Frank.
It was a big open space with many cots strewn about all four walls. As we walked around and toured my new home, Frank introduced me to everyone. It was all the same. The scars and parts were different, but the procedure was recognizable. There were even children, little misshapen research subjects imprisoned in a world devoid of holidays and birthday parties, or at least in the normal sense. This world tries to operate as normal, but in the end, its difficult to be normal when you’re hidden and locked away in a warehouse. We’re all victims traumatized by our encounters with ghastly reminders etched on our bodies and faces. Our minds are no less effected. There’s a big handwritten sign hanging over the entrance door. It reads: No Red Lights.

Hope everyone had a great holiday weekend!
I actually wrote up a post right after the 4th palace. Then I played a bit and they dropped so much more info that I had to toss it. Tomorrow is the trip to Hawaii so I thought this was a good point to stop and make another round of predictions.
The 4th palace is my favorite so far. There was so much symbolism to look into and I really liked the whole cursed gem bit. The end boss was a little annoying.
Things are really picking up pace. I had so many questions that were answered like 20 min later. They're really starting reveal some important details.
This is what I have as of now. In addition to my way off predictions there are also a few bits of info I'm that I'm not sure how they fit yet and some general impressions. I tried to keep it short (I failed).
Please no spoilers for any of the Persona games. This is my first and I plan on picking up 3/4.
After Palace 1 predictions : https://www.reddit.com/Persona5/comments/13odesi/first_time_playing_going_in_blind_my_horribly/
After Palace 2 prediction : https://www.reddit.com/Persona5/comments/13q3q9j/first_time_playing_going_in_blind_just_beat_the/
After Palace 3 predictions: https://www.reddit.com/Persona5/comments/13sl0vp/first_time_playing_going_in_blind_just_beat_the/
​
Futaba/Alibaba and somehow Morgana

• The squid girl from the movie finally gets a name.
• Futaba's mom is the curry lady (Wakaba)!
• the phone call Sojiro had about a printer not being the right one makes soooo much sense now. I knew he was taking care of someone but I thought it was an old lady. Honestly thought there were going for a cheap laugh were she kept on printing out pictures of snowball or something.
• translated some of the binary on the walls of her palace into ASCII looking for a secret message but they were just the same odd symbols that were on the doors and such.

---tinfoil hat time---

• Futaba picked Alibaba as her hacker alias. before we get to see the whole Egypt / pyramid theme of her palace it seemed like a really odd choice.
• It could be just a cool name that the writers picked but "Chekhov's gun" states that every element introduced in a story should be necessary to the plot. If the gun isn't going to be fired then the audience doesn't need to see it being loaded - or something like that.
• It got me thinking and for sure I remembered the name Alibaba but had forgotten the details of the story. I did a quick search and was able to find the story pretty easily.
• Short version : Alibaba was a dude who stole a bunch of riches from some thieves. Alibaba is living the good life when the thieves track him down and make plans to kill him. The plans are stopped by Alibaba's slave who kills the thieves.
• Alibaba's slave was named .... wait for it .... Morgiana! Mind effing blown! That's way too similar to Morgana not to be important.
• Morgiana was female. Early in the game Ann ask Morgana if it's a boy or a girl. It says of course it's a boy, but it also says that it is human.Morgana might be the Male version of Morgiana but this throws it's gender into question too. It's not like anyone had checked between it's legs as far as I can tell. (also where does it do it's business I haven't seen a litter box).
• Add to this the "birth" flashback that Morgana had
• Morgana is an unwilling servant (aka a slave) to the big bad which is trapped in the deepest part of mementos
• The big bad was able to squeeze through the crack in his prison just enough to deposit a small amount of it's power in the metaverse this power took the form of Morgana.
• The Morgana in the dream had yellow eyes. still going with yellow eyes = metaverse native.
• He was programmed to want to find the deepest part of Mementos at all cost so he could free the big bad.
• His attraction to human desires was not intentional. He got sidetracked from his mission and got caught by Kamoshida.
• Meeting joker was a stroke of luck.
• He keeps telling us that he's using us for his own goals and that he just needs pawns.
• We're made to think that this is just a defensive move to avoid talking about his real feelings but I see a perfect opportunity for a "I told you I was just using you all" scene after the big bad flips some switch later on.
• Most of Morgana's battle functions are getting replaced by other members. Makoto and Futba are both doing the combat calls now. Morgana will leave the party soon.
• Something will happen to Morgana that will flip his switch while the PT are in Hawaii
• Morgiana killed the thieves.... The big bad will take control of Morgana at one point and we will have to fight shadow Morgana or something to get the cat back.
• Was almost thinking Morgana could be the one who betrays us but no one can understand him and even Akechi would have trouble selling the whole "my informant is a cat" thing to Sae.

Kasumi

• A big problem with Kasumi is we know shes going to be a badass by the time the casino heist comes around but right now she's the complete opposite of the person who saves Joker. This isn't like Makoto who is a bad ass and was just holding back. Kasumi is 100% a wet noodle right now.
• Add to that the my weak self relied on you so much line and there is little doubt she has a split personality disorder of some sort.
• They also dropped a major clue for Kasumi after the 3rd palace. She had a sister who died.
• My fist thought was she never had a sister and just had two distinct personalities that were separate but equal to each other. Each would take control at different points and her mind created a fake sister to explain any inconsistencies with her memories. At some point one of her personalities (the sister) was repressed.
• The problem with this is her interactions with joker she doesn't seem like a totally different person just more sure of herself. like her week self is the Kasumi we know now and her complete self is the one we fight with.
• She could have really had a sister and the trauma of the loss sent her into a downward spiral of depression. So *someone* did something to her to repress the negative emotions.
• Her gymnastic slump is important. what ever was done to her was the cause of her slump. Shes missing something of herself which is why she says that her body doesn't move the way she wants it to.
• Current theory is some part of her is locked away. It's not separate, but a piece of the whole person that we fight along side with at the casino. At some point between now and then her two halves will join.
• This brings up the question of what's up with her dad? Unless your some sort bad person wouldn't you notice such a drastic change in your kid?
• Either dad works for the government and was ok experimenting on Kasumi or he somehow thinks whatever was done to her was for the best . Like her current state is better than what was before so this is the cure.
• explains why she transferred schools. He dad claims to work at a TV station (could be a cover). It's not like he would have to move for a new job. If she had a major personality change then her old classmates and teachers would notice. this would cause Kasumi to question her reality which could cause it to fail. moving to a new school removes this issue.
• This would have to go above standard therapy. Either hypnosis or cognitive psience.
• something is going to happen to her dad. we got the glasses shopping scene to show us how close they are. This will be her motivation for going into the metaverse.
• when her persona awakens the mental barrier will be taken down.
• She only has a 5 star confidant rank. It's not like Maruki who still has his card symbol but won't advance till the story does.
• The other 5 starts will be with her "other" personality. After whatever was done to her is undone she's going to be a mess and will turn to Joker.
• something will happen to her while we are in Hawaii. Only reason for her to let us know she was leaving the country of a bit. she might not actually be leaving the country and just be having more mental work done on her.

Maruki

• He want's to legit help people.
• Thinks that traditional therapy is not effective enough. Want to develop a medicine or medical procedure to actually fix people's negative emotions.
• with the introduction of cognative psience we now know the method that he's going to use to attempt this. (could be he already did a test run or two).
• Although his intentions are good things are going to wrong very very wrong.
• After the 2nd exams he talks to joker about not meeting peoples expectations. This comes right after some girls were gossiping about Kasumi in the halls.
• Total misdirection. Since the phantom thieves are making all sorts of waves, the Agency is putting pressure on him to complete his research. This will lead to mistakes being made.
• Eventually his logic will change to "It's better to feel nothing than to feel pain" - this will be his I still think I'm a good guy logic.
• Unless he is also a persona user then were going to visit his palace.
• The first time Joker goes to see Maruki he runs into Kasumi and she tells Joker that she has been seeing Maruki for some time.
• Add to that the line Sae's Boss says on 6/23 "This incident happened at the school you're supposed to be presiding over..." and we have a clear connection from Sae's Boss to the principle at Joker's school.
• He also seemed to be bothered that the Kamoshisa change of heart happened at Shujin like he was aware that something special was going on there.
• This set off all the alarms. The new girl who happens to be a badass persona user transfers to the school and a month later her doctor gets assigned to the very same school. He was hired by the principal who just happens to work for Sae's boss. Sae's boss knows of the metaverse and so does Maruki.
• Maruki was assigned to Kasumi's school to keep tabs on her and make sure whatever he did to her stuck. The Kamoshida incident was just the excuse they needed to bring him in.
• He either developed cognitive psience on his own or was giving Wakaba's research by the Agency.

Akechi

• he has to be the one who betrays the group.
• Keeps putting idea's in Sae's head
• At some point Sae will catch on that Akechi is messing with her.
• working with Shido but not for him. Has his own goals or works for the big bad.
• says he has to catch the PT "for the sake of my justice" combine that with the arcade scene where he ask joker what kind of justice he believes in and Akechi is def bad. He's not after "justice" but "my justice" which sounds a lot like revenge. Has something to do with his father. If the PT crew keep operating they're going to ruin his chance for revenge.
• He will frame the PT by sending a fake calling card and then killing that persons shadow.

Twins / Butterfly Lady

• The number of new confidants that unlock after the 3rd palace was a bit overwhelming but It did give me plenty of chances to watch the new confidant unlock scenes. It got me thinking about what it actually says. Just picked the fortune confidant for this but any would have worked.
• I am thou, thou art I - we are one and the same
• thou hast acquired a new vow. - you just unlocked a new confidant. to quote Jose "Good Job!"
• It shall become the wings of rebellion that breaketh thy chains of captivity. - butterflies have wings also still talking about Joker "thy chains of captivity". We are like a caterpillar and when we obtain out true power we will become a butterfly (not literally). the chains could be a the cocoon that the butterfly breaks out of.
• With the birth of the Fortune Persona I have obtained the winds of blessing that - creatures with wings (like a butterfly) ride the wind. Is now referring to herself in this line "I have obtained..."
• shall lead to freedom and new power..." - It's over 9000!
• The butterfly lady is our persona or at the very least out power levels are connected.
• Part of the butterfly lady's power is sealed in joker. Was not intentional but will be the key to rejoining the twins.
• When there is a fusion alarm the twins do this adorable back stretch where one kicks her legs. They then do this weird like side stretch that looks like the fusion dance from Dragon Ball Z.

Igor

• Not working for the thing that made Morgana.
• Morgana had no knowledge of the skill cards and his mind exploded when joker captured the pixie.
• Even though he's not bad he's still not good.
• Has some cosmic role to fill. His job is to prepare for the final battle. He doesn't care who wins just as long as the fight occurs.
• Gave Akechi the metaverse nav but Akechi betrayed him and went rogue which is why he went looking for a new recruit. He took on the twins after so the same mistakes wouldn't be make with joker.
• Says joker will fight someone with powers very similar to his (jokers) own. Akechi has the wildcard too?

Sojiro

• For the record Joker defended him and never once thought he was abusing Futaba.
• Met Wakaba when he worked for the government.
• Feels guilty that he didn't do anything when she said she was going to die. Was he in a position to do so? What did he do for the government?
• After Wakaba was killed he suspected his own government were behind it and left in disgust.
• Sojiro is just awesome. He would take a bullet for any of Joker's friends and die happy knowing he saved someones life.
• He will be the getaway driver after the PT crew breaks joker out. He's the only person we know with a car.

Sae's Boss / Shido

• They refer to it as the metaverse and not the cognitive world. could be the writers just didn't want to add a new term without context or they gained their knowledge of the metaverse from an "other worldly" being.

​
Limo Girl.

• Is in the opening movie both the heist scene and the smash the city part. Will be joining up.
• Ran in to her in the hall at the star of the game she was labeled as a senior
• Riding in a limo. daddy is loaded.
• At the park cleanup she asked Mishima for the bottle cap so they can be used for medicine. She is seen watering flowers at the school also. What we should take away from this is she's a really good person. We need to know see that she's super duper good because her dad is bad like really bad.
• daddy's money is dirty money and she knows it or at least suspects.
• We will change daddy's heart and make him admit his evil ways.
• Her dad is the Shido.
• We don't know when she's going to join up or if the casino heist is her first. Stealing her dad's heart will prob be her first mission so the fact that shes on the comm at the start of the game isn't too much of a problem with her dad being Shido.

Opening Casino Heist

• on 7/29 Morgana says "But it's true that an observant criminal could have a true to reality city in their Palace."
• The opening casino heist wasn't in the real world but was Shido's palace. His palace just included a 1:1 of the city in it. He also says in the scene at the start of the game where joker has a flashback that he owns the cops. Would make sense that the shadows in his cognition would take the form of the police and security guards. The 2nd palace had two types of shadows (male and female) and the 3rd/4th had people/dogs. Multiple types of shadows is not unheard of
• Also looks like we did manage to steal his treasure but not sure if they were able to get it out.
• We don't actually see joker get taken in by the cops. It's possible that the traitor grabbed us after the shadow cops took us down and turned us in to the real world cops. Doesn't mean the world's can't be merging but my reasoning for it is off.
• One thing that bothers me is when they ask if everyone remembers where they have to meet up. Why was joker separate from the rest of the PT? The PT all leave the metaverse together so far. Could just mean where they're going to meet up near the exit (if there is an exit with the palace being the whole city). Hoping for more clues to clarify this.

Mashima

• not going to betray us. he almost fell to the dark side and I haven't seen the conclusion of his story but seems like he's not going to an issue.

​
Best Girl current rankings - Nothing is set yet no decisions have been made just the current rankings.

• Makoto - the scene where the lights go out and she grabs jokers leg just made her more endearing. Her driving skills saved the crew after Palace 4. Could beat Kamoshisa in 1v1 volley ball.
• Futba - who doesn't like a quirky redhead. Her being Boss's adopted daughter could be a good thing as he seems to like Joker at this point in the story so he wouldn't have to give him the whole "let me show you my gun collection" talk. Although I'm thinking shes more like the quirky best friend type then best girl material (so sorry Fatuba Fans plesedonthateme)
• Dr.Death - shes a doctor who really cares about her work. Cares more about helping the little girl then getting the credit for it. She basicly broke down when she thought the girl was dead. Also SP Adhesives are amazing.
• Kasami - 100% little sister vibe while Futaba has potential to move up in rank Kasami is stuck in the sister zone. Who knows maybe her "sister" is more interesting.
• Fortune teller- Still a nice person despite the way she was treated. A but gullible though. I could see her sending all of Joker's savings to a Nigerian prince.
• Chess Girl (I know it's not chess) - mid tier maybe she well get more interesting.
• Ann - Not even in the running really because She's going to end up with Ryuji. If Ryuji wasn't around I would say shes not the bightest bulb in the pack. shes not dumb and seems to at least have passed her exams but we have honor student Makoto and super genius Futaba to compare her to. She is empathetic and has a high emotional intelligence. No way shes going to make it as an Actress with her (lack of) skills I cringe every time she tries. She would make a great councilor though with how she relates to people and to seems to be able to get along with everyone. She could also make it in professional sports with how high she was able to throw Mona after the 4th palace.
• Kawakami - Yes she's ranked lower than someone who is not even in the running. First off she lied about her sister WTF! She just seems like a mess. Her clothes don't fit and her hair is never brushed. She is stuck in "the help" tier. Keep her around for laundry and coffee.

Best Bro current rankings.

• Ryuji - dude is our bro 100% He's the bad influence with a heart of gold and will stick with Joker to the end. He's the Ron Weasley to Joker's Harry Potter. He would be the most fun to go drinking with.
• Yusuke - you will only ever be his 2nd best friend. His true loyalty lies with art. If Joker was hanging off the side of a cliff and Yusuke had to make the decision to save Joker or paint the perfect sunset it would be a real nail biter to see what he decides.
• Mishima- Once he gets over himself he's going to be fine. He's like a more wimpy less fun Ryuji.
• Akechi - he's too full of himself. He always like "ugh I'm just sooooo popular I can't do the little people things like you do" Hanging out with him you would only ever be "Akechi's friend". His sweater vest is dumb.

Best Kitty current rankings.

• Snowball - he didn't deserve to go out like that.
• Morgana - is a spy and slave of the big bad. Also needs stop hitting on Ryuji's girl.

Hi all, I need a reality check with a stressful situation.
Background:
- Wife was pregant with our second child and has since given birth four months ago
- First child was born three years ago with a congenital heart defect, which required a few surgeries and hospital stays, but thankfully healthy now
While my wife was pregant with our first child, we requested my parents get vaccinated for whooping cough as per every doctor's recommendation. My mom is not quite a full-blown antivaxxer, but pretty close. I suspect she is getting a healthy dose of misinformation from Facebook. My mom, and in turn my dad, refused to get vaccinated. Ultimately, given they were quarantining for COVID at the time, decided to not force the issue and allow them into the bubble for visits.
When we were expecting our second, we again requested, and now that no one is COVID quarantining, mandated that they get a whooping cough vaccination. This caused my mom to go into hysterics, rant and rave at me about how she can't believe I'm bringing this up again, and go as far as to say I should consider herself dead to me and she'll never see her grandchildren again (followed by hanging up the phone).
My dad started out as a bit more rational and said he didn't care either way, but he's going to choose solidarity with my mom over this issue. Which is funny because they both hate each other and have a very toxic marriage. He's also a MAGA nutjob who has anger issues. Regardless, I made my request for vaccination clear. I've never said they cannot visit their first grandchild, but if they didn't get a vaccine for whooping cough, they could not visit my second child.
I've sent to them plenty of materials from the CDC, other doctors, etc. on the need to get this vaccination if around newborns. They refuse to read it and pass it off as me being unreasonable and not properly calibrating risk. I've stood my ground and rationally explained all the reasons I would hope they do this for my family, including:
- I've already had one sick child with months of hospital stays; I really wanted this go-round to be easier on the family and not risk any unncessary illnesses.
- I've put myself on the line for them previously, including all of their grocery orders during the height of the pandemic. I feel like they are not paying it forward to me.
- I've exlained "tail risk" to them, and while probability of catching and spreading whooping cough is low, it's not non-zero and potentially has a fatal implication for a newborn.
- I've offered to pay if the vaccines cost money and make their appointments.
- Their refusal in the past caused marital discord for my sister who requested this same thing when she was pregnant. Ultimately, my sister caved and dropped the request given my parents' refusal. My other sister is an antivaxxer and has done nothing but stoke the fire.
My parents told me what an ungrateful son I am, and they can't believe I turned out this way. My dad, in a chance encounter at the grocery store, proceeded to tell me I was "fucking stupid" over and over again. I asked if they had a legitimate medical reason, but the only explanation I've gotten is that they are older and don't want to put anymore chemicals into their bodies. My dad went as far as to say my mom has been in hysterics the past month and that I'm killing her. He actually said I'm driving her to the grave. They've said I'm oppressing them, cheating them out of seeing their grandchildren, and not to come crying to their funerals, and then went as far as to say they wish me a peaceful rest of my life and don't bother responding.
To me, this is completely irrational and hurtful. No parent should talk to their child in this way. I concluded by saying that if roles were reversed, and my daughters come to me in 25 years to ask the same request of me, my only response would be "When and where do I get the vaccine?". I can't understand how my parents choose this battle. My mom, in particular, has always been selfish and spiteful and this just takes the cake. The more I've reflected, the more I've come to understand just how toxic some of her past behavior towards me has been.
We've fought off and on prior to my second daughter being born, and it even resulted in kicking my parents out of my house when they visited because they said "they would do anything for me." This infuriated me and I shot back - "except get a vaccine." It led to a big blowup and I said they had to go because my dad was yelling and cursing in front of my child.
Now that my second daughter is 4 months old and has had her second whooping cough vaccine, I've tried to extend an olive branch to my parents. They refuse to have anything to do with me unless I apologize to them. My dad proceeded to call me fucking stupid again, and my mom won't even look at me and tells me how much she's been grieving these past few months. She's a spiteful, selfish old italian woman and has been my entire life. She will never be able to move on off this. Both said they're going to die from the stress.
I refused to apologize, told them they both needed therapy, defended my behavior again, and said I'm willing to move past it for the sake of my children having a relationship with them - but I will never forgive them and will never apologize. I said this battle extends far beyond just a vaccine request now but includes their attitudes towards me.
I'm sure I've not been a perfect son, but I've been loyal and tried to be helpful my whole life to them. Am I being an asshole here and how should I try to mend this going forward?

Hey Sportsfans — it's time for Week 9 of baseball Power Rankings: It may be Tuesday, but still thought about how much we dislike your favorite team 8 Days a Week. Also pool side blackjack is now my favorite part of Las Vegas. John Fisher, please ignore.
Every voter has their own style / system and the only voting instructions are these:

"To an extent determined individually, you must take into account how strong a team is right now and likely to be going forward. You must, to some degree, give weight to the events and games of the previous week."

TRANSPARENCY: This link will show you who voted each team where and has added neat statistics!
New Voter Chance: Are you a fan of the Dodgers? Why? We have a new voter oppening. Please check this comment for details.
If something is a little messed up, feel free to pester me let me know.
Total Votes: 28 of 29. So close.

#		Team	Δ	Comment	Record
1		Rays	0	Everyone's favorite myliobatiformes played another good week of baseball with the return of Tyler Glasnow. The Rays took an exciting series against the Dodgers after recharging during a weird mid-series rest day against the Blue Jays. Wander Franco is making his case to be starting SS in the All-Star Game, just make sure you don't accidentally vote for one of his brothers. It's still super weird to watch the offense carry while the bullpen struggles, but with guys coming back it should be f--, wait, Fairbanks is hurt again.	39-17
2		Rangers	+1	Series wins against both the Pirates and Orioles the last week has the club holding the 3rd best overall record in the majors. Go Stars. We're still having fun.	34-19
3		Braves	-1	3-4 last week and we started this week off with a loss against the Oakland "Triple A's" which is not good Bob. On the VERY brightside, we saw Soroka pitch from an MLB mound for the first time in almost 3 years. He pitched well and we need him to perform as we are absolutely depleted by injuries. Riley is starting to come to life. We hold a 4 game lead on the scond place MARLINS. Our division doesn't want to take advantage of our recent struggles, that's fine by me.	32-22
4		Dodgers	+1		33-22
5		Orioles	-1	A few weeks ago, I said if the Orioles can go at least .500 in May then they are for real. They wrapped up a winning month yesterday and have three games to go. They continue to play well, even though they lost the series against the Rangers, and seem to play better away from Camden Yards. They did, however, send Grayson Rodriguez down this week to AAA. He just has some stuff to figure out. He was getting crushed in his past few starts, and it was the right move to make. This solidifies the fact they need a frontline starter if they are going to make a serious push to get to and make noise in the post-season.	34-20
6		Astros	0	Jose Abreu finally hit a home run. All is right with the world. Unless the world's name is Lance McCullers Jr., who had another discomforting setback and we have no idea when we will see him this year. I still blame his hair. Anyway, our other Jose hit a grand slam at MMP this weekend. Where have we heard that before?	31-22
7		Yankees	0	It certainly would’ve been nice to take 2/3 from Baltimore, but it’s very hard to be mad at the Yankees’ month of May. Since May 1, the Yankees are 18-9, a huge turnaround from a .500 April. As we enter the dog days of summer, the top of the AL East is tightening up, but the Yankees don’t face either of the teams ahead of them again until July. The Yankees have to keep playing at this pace, and a Stanton (and maybe Rodon??) return could seriously help that.	33-23
8		D-Backs	+1	The Diamondbacks had a decent week, barely missing out on a sweep of the Phillies before dropping a series to the Red Sox. The offense gets on base but has been allergic to driving in RISP, and the starting rotation continues to be a merry-go-round, as none of the rookie pitchers on the team seem to be able to string together several good starts in a row without getting blown up once or twice.	31-23
9		Blue Jays	+1	The Jays' first series win since May 14th pulled us out of a bad-vibes tailspin the likes of which this fanbase hasn't seen since, well, the last time everybody freaked out over a losing streak. The usual suspects' continued confounding slow starts (Manoah, Kirk, Varsho, etc) have dropped us 10 games back from TB, last place in the best division in baseball. And YET, hope springs. Berrios (3 or fewer ER in 8 of his last 9 starts) finally appears to be pitching to the level expected of him when he was signed, and is pumping out quality starts along with Gausman and Bassitt. Kikuchi has slipped as Kikuchi does but has been very solid for a #5. We don't have the depth to send Manoah down for some needed alone time, but he's pushing it. Vladdy has been scuffling, Springer is heating up, and Bichette is an MVP candidate. With a little bit of lucky regression to the mean with abysmal RISP numbers, this team is just a few turns away from being very good. As long as we don't have to play too many games vs AL East teams. That should be fine.	28-26
10		Twins	-2		28-26
11		Mariners	+4	Just what the doctor ordered - 6-1 in the homestand so far. Some momentum is just what this team needs before two big series with teams they're chasing for playoff spots. If the M's can handle business over the next week, they'll be right back in the thick of it. Bryce Miller, do your thing. Up next: 3 vs. Damn Yankees, 3 @ Globe Life ParkFieldStadiumGardensArenaDomewhatever they're calling it these days	28-26
12		Red Sox	-1	Scoring four runs total while getting swept by the Angels isn't a great look. This team is in many ways aggresively mediocre, always making sure that every win streak is followed up by an equally painful gut-punch. This is mainly due to the reliance on the offense to carry us to victory (2-17 when scoring <=3 runs), when the bats get cold, you're safe to turn off the game. Whitlock returning from injury and Bello/Sale both stepping up their game in May (2.74/2.42 ERA respectively) are good steps towards this team becoming Actually Good™ though. We'll see what June brings us...	28-25
13		Brewers	-1	Taking two of three from the Astros was nice. Barely avoiding a sweep from the Giants was not so sweet. Milwaukee has some issues with hitting in "close" situations. The Brewers either lose after having multiple opportunities to tie it up, or get absolutely blown out.	28-25
14		Angels	0	Did I travel out of state and all the way to Anaheim just to watch the team get swept by the Marlins? Perhaps. Was that objectively worse than what the Reds voter is going through? It's impossible to say.	29-26
15		Mets	-2	The Mets, who I proclaimed to be "good at baseball" last week, ended up dropping 2 of 3 against the Cubs and doing the same against the Rockies. I just don't know what to believe anymore. The only thing I know for sure is that Francisco Alvarez has got that fucking dawg in him, he's GOATed, he's him, he's on fleek, he's poggers, he's a proper legend, he's got an .885 OPS, he's a top bloke, he's got swag, he's fresh, he's Gen Z Mike Piazza, he's lit, he's making me feel old because he was born after 9/11, he's Francisco Alvarez.	27-27
16		Gigantes	+4	The Giants won yesterday, but strictly talking about last week, they went 5- 2 on an extremely acceptable road trip without any off days. Defeating two competent teams like the Twins and Brewers should feel good. On both losses, they gave up 7 runs, on every win they gave up 3, 1, or 0 runs. So, they threw two games out of 7 – that’s allowed. In the bad news department, Joc, Joey, and Thairo all not expected back until June 6th. I think we’re okay with more Bailey Patrick and this also means another look at unpredictable slugger David Villar. Slater continues covering for Joc. Let’s look a the numbers: 13th in MLB in Run Diff (+6 spots), 12th in RS / G (+6), 15th in RA / G (+2), 23rd in Bullpen ERA (+5). All of that is good and especially the bullpen is promising recently. The Giants continue at home vs the Pirates and wrap the homestand with 3 against our orange and black brothers in Baltimore.	28-26
17		Pirates	-1	Would I have been happy to learn on Opening Day that the Pirates would be around .500 at the end of May? Yes. But if you told me they got there after starting 20-8 I would be pretty disappointed. Here's hoping the pendulum swings the other way in June.	26-27
18		Marlins	+3	Yet another appearance of sweepy, the meme that was promised. After a rough series against the rox, we sweep the angels to settle into the third NL wild card spot. Our starting pitching is coming along after a bumpy start to several of our starters. Eury perez is gonna be a stud, just wanna remind yall. Also, shout out to Jorge Soler, who has been crushing baseballs the last week and change. In other miami sports related news, boston is the first city ever to lose two game 7s at home in both the NHL and NBA playoffs in the same year. Go Heat and go Panthers!	28-26
19		Phillies	-2	After losing 2 to the Diamondbacks and going down 5-0 in the 3rd game, the Phillies season looked as bleak as it could in late May while only being 4 games under .500. However, the team rallied and Trea Turner tied it in the 9th before going onto win it in 10. Then, they went down to Atlanta and split a 4 game series. It could've gone far worse. The Phillies most pressing need is now seemingly a 5th starter who isn't a guaranteed loss, as this week they trotted out Dylan Covey, who hadn't started a game since 2019. He got 2 outs and gave up 7 runs. He took the spot of Bailey Falter who, after a surprisingly productive 2022, started the season 0-7. Falter is the far better option, but Dave Dombrowski will likely be looking to upgrade until Andrew Painter can finally return. This week, the NL East road trip continues with their first 3 games against the Mets and 3 in Washington. Here's hoping June Schwarber shows up again this year.	25-28
20		Padres	-1	My Dad tells me it’s ok that the Dad’s lost 2 / 3 to NY; the Dodgers lost 2 / 3 to the Rays! The Pads aren’t in the same stratosphere as the Dodgers right now, though. 5 games under .500, 10th in the NL standings, 3 games out of the last wildcard slot. Of course there’s quite a bit of time to change it, there’s plenty of time to go on a run, or a slow and steady good month to gain ground. With every day that passes however, that goal becomes a bit harder to reach; I don’t think Pads fans were hoping for a wildcard spot by the end of this season, but that’s the position the team has to get to before even thinking of catching LA. The Padres are 4th in the NL West, and only a half game out of last.	24-29
21		Cardinals	-3	2-2 @ CIN; 1-2 @ CLE; 0-1 v KCR; another struggle week for the Cards. The fandom's been a bit kneejerk because of two good weeks before this. Their mistake. I'll say it a third time, the Cards playing at or beyond their expected level doesn't change the rotten FO. Yeah Marmol's pretty close to being fired, that's not a fix when the problem is John Mozeliak.	24-32
22		Tigers	+2	The most fun part of this past week has been watching the resurgence of Akil Baddoo. His energy is infectious and adds an exciting dimension to the lineup. As we head into the last few days of May, Baddoo has sported a .302/.405/.508 slash and a 155 wRC+ this month. Although he's still been hitting mostly in the 6 hole, if this keeps up he might find himself much higher in the order real soon. This week: 2 more vs. TEX and 3 at CWS.	25-27
23		Guardians	0	The Guardians won a series this week. I would like to see them win some games by more than one run, but it's clear this season, we have to take what we get.	24-29
24		Cubs	-2	Another terrible week for the Cubs, as a promising series win against the Mets was followed up by an embarrassing sweep against the Reds. The starting rotation was terrible, and the bullpen was somehow worse. Fans have had enough of David Ross, and Jed Hoyer is starting to come under pressure. Barring a dramatic turnaround, the Cubs will be sellers for the 3rd trade deadline in a row	23-30
25		Reds	+1	Okay guys, I’m here to be calm this week. I have been told by my wife’s attorney, Tom, that they are “aware” of my online activity regarding our impending divorce, so today let’s have a nice, calm, relaxing, perfectly fine, good old fashioned talk about Reds baseball. The Reds are just sorta middling. They’re not great but they’re not horrible. Unlike my marriage. Our starting pitching has resgressed, just like my marriage, and it’s very unfortunate to see, because our bullpen has been quite reliable unlike my wife. We still can’t hit home runs for some reason, but overall unlike my marriage the Reds on the upturn. There, are you happy Tom? I didn’t mention all the crap that’s been going on lately. I didn’t mention how I had to leave the Motel 6 I was at because I found a used needle in the bathroom, and by the way Tom, I know that you’re trying to use that as evidence that I can’t take care of my kids. I don’t even know who’s needle it was, it was like wedged behind the toilet. Believe me, I only found it because I dropped my phone while using the toilet. It wasn’t even visible, I had to like get on my hands and knees and crawl behind the toilet to grab my phone. So it puts the image in my head of some heroin addict or whatever sitting behind a toilet at a Motel 6 trying to get high, which honestly that just seems like an even worse situation than the one i’m in. Do I think it’s a coincidence that the day after I left the Motel 6 because of this, you’re requesting a drug test from me before I can see my kids? Huh Tom? How did you know about this incident Tom? The only people that know are the Motel 6 staff I notified, I don’t think any police showed up, so either you questioned them like i’m some criminal, or you’re following me. I know you’re reading this Tom, you’ve made several references to my posts on the baseball power rankings insinuating it’s me writing them, and yeah Tom you’re right it is me, can everybody in the comments give praise to Tom for being a regular Sherlock Holmes? Yeah everybody come on, Congratulations Tom! You’re the man! I’m gonna let you go home and fuck my sister, oh wait Tom I forgot, YOU ALREADY ARE. When you get home tonight tell Caitlin her brother says hi. Alright, I think I got that out of my system. Anyway, I think once more of our prospects are called up, probably around June or July, we may get hot and finish more closely to .500 than initially thought, and if this division stays like it is, and those prospects can deliver on their promise, it's entirely possible we could be in contention for the division. But a lot of this is gonna depend on if our Starting Rotation can get things back under control. Also we swept the Cubs so lol.	24-29
26		Nationals	-1	Week after week, I expect this Nats team to take a nose dive. I expect them to crumble and slip into a double-digit losing streak but it just isn't happening. They lead the NL in batting average (.267), are third in OBP (.330) and have the lowest strikeout rate in MLB. They still have their own troubles, but this team is alive (4 games out of a WC spot)	23-31
27		Rockies	+1	I don't have time to write a real blurb this week so you don't have to print this. Actually, you probably don't read these, I'm not sure anyone really reads them anyways besides the Reds guy's life breaking down, and this will probably get printed regardless.	24-31
28		White Sox	-1	Liam is back. I can't overstate how great that is to hear. He is one of the best people in the game and it's nothing short of amazing for him to be pitching in May. If you missed it, it was recently revealed that he had stage 4 lymphoma, not an early stage. He started treatment just over 3 months ago! Nothing on the field matters for this team, but at least there's that silver lining.	22-34
29		Royals	0	As of the time that this blurb is being written (Monday at 11:39 AM), only two teams in the majors have a record below .400. Yup, the Royals are there with the A's. I suppose the positive is that the team figured out that they can get rid of useless players in Hunter Dozier, but they still have a lot more work to do.	17-38
30		Atléticos	0	The A's have given up 10+ runs in a game 7 more times than they've won. It's a mix of bad roster building (the bullpen), under-preforming vets (Ramon Laureano 74 wRC+, Tony Kemp 38 wRC+), injuries (Seth Brown and Paul Blackburn are just now returning), and no fans in the stands since 2019. It's soul crushing to watch and the national media's constant condecention toward this particular poor team and it is even more annoying this year.	11-45

First Prev Next(soon^tm)

The Araknonian Emperor had decreed it himself – subjugation, or else. This was the message that the Speaker was to send to the Hedronian diplomats. The pretences of a ‘negotiation’ were clearly false the instant the Araknonians made their demand. This was, of course, to be expected. On the journey over to the planet, the Hedron scouts in the neighbouring empires had reported back some preliminary information about their new rival. They were said to be vicious, brutal, and unrelenting.
Of course, they had clearly underestimated the Hedron capacity for insight, as by inviting them to the negotiation table before even attempting to invade showed that they had concerns about their ability to control their new adversary. This was a mistake. The Hedrons had learned that Araknon never negotiated without control of their opponents’ skies, and typically the capitulation of a world or two.
By allowing the Hedrons to get into their space without being at war first gave a huge opportunity for the Hedrons to gain all they needed to know about the Araknonians. The presence of what looked to be crack shock troops was concerning, however the Hedronian’s own recon marines were already finding out exactly how many they truly had, and how capable they were. The Hedron 1st Shadow fleet had already begun an incursion into their space near where their forces appeared to be assembling, and all shipyards were poised for emergency war production and ship building, something not enacted for centuries.
If the Araknonians wanted to start a war, then Hedron will not stand it their way. They would, however, finish it.

Stardate 2295.03.05 Araknonian court, Ancom 3
Negotiations, despite the Araknonian inference that they were to be short and sweet, carried on for weeks, mostly due to our unprecedented demands for a lengthy negotiation on each and every part of this subjugation ‘proposal’ of course, we never intended to sign such an agreement, but instead to allow us time to better position our fleets for a fast engagement.
‘Stop this madness! Your weak species would be crushed under our empire’s might!’ Kolhor, and by extension the Araknonians, grew impatient. Time was up.
‘And your point is what, esteemed speaker? We were invited to negotiate on this agreement so that each party may come away satisfied, were we not?’ Silvya was not about to back down here. If the Araknonians truly wanted war, then they may as well declare it. ‘Or are we here for another reason, esteemed one.’
‘I… How dare you accuse us of playing games! You are the ones who are against the wall. Even now our fleets are ready to wipe your sorry excuse for a grand fleet out, and your Empire will vanish from the history books!’ The speaker was now shouting, screeching really. It was time, then for a recess.
‘Is that so, Speaker. In that case I must take my delegation to discuss the current state of the proposal and gain our leader’s approval for its acceptance.’ Silvya feigned a defeatist state before the speaker – she couldn’t risk them knowing the next move.

Hedron recess hall, Ancom 3
‘We have no choice, Empress. We must reject their proposal and wage war.’ Silvya was solemn in her proposal.
‘Very well then Diplomat Kant. Our forces are in adequate positioning. Ensure your marines are off world and out of sight before rejection. We have reason to believe the Araknonians seek to invade immediately.’ The Empress was ever calm. This moment had been prepared for, expected.
With plans in motion, the link cut off.
‘Well folks, you all heard the Empress. Pack your bags. We are going to war.’ Silvya resolved herself.
‘This will be a time of great struggle for our people, but rest assured, when this crisis is resolved, our time and actions here will not be seen as wasted time, but as crucial to our success and decisive victory. It is high time someone knocked these Araknonians down from their high horse. Who better than us!’

Araknonian Palace, Araknor. Stardate 2295.03.06
‘Emperor, you had better see this.’ The messenger was sheepish in his delivery.
A recording holo of the Hedronian refusal was loaded into the viewer. The envoy, Slyvia Kant, appeared.
‘Speaker! Your proposal is disrespectful to our peoples, and we have no choice but to reject it. We also formally declare to you this: You will never control us. It does not matter if you take our skies, or our governments. Our fellow Humans in the New Terra Republic and the Sol Collective will not only come to our aid, but will continue any war you choose to begin against us with vicious ferocity. You have been warned. We may appear weak, but we are the bear that you do not poke. We have not known war for centuries, but we will gladly accept it.’
‘How dare they!’ The messenger thought the Emperor might just drop dead from rage just that instant. He was evidently more furious with the idea that he might die before this puny, disrespectful race was wiped from the databanks permanently. ‘They shall crumble before us! No race in this great Empire shall rest until they come begging to us for mercy. We will not grant them it.’
‘Of course, your grace. Shall we send a declaration?’
‘No. They knew what they were doing.’ The Emperor rested, awaiting the reports from his admirals at the front.

Encidion, Planetoid 2286A, Hedron Shadow Fleet HQ. Stardate 2295.03.07
Rear Admiral Finlay Tianor gripped the lectern in front of him. The transmission had awoken him in the middle of the night, the one he had dreaded coming.
‘We stand at the verge of the most defining action to happen in centuries. It is up to us, as our nation's most prized fleet, and unknown to the enemy, to make a name for ourselves. We will be ruthless, we will be cunning, and we will cut their lines to shreds. The order has been passed down from Her Highness to jump to their lines. We are to operate on prize rules. Pick a target, call for support if required. We will strike them where they think they have complete invulnerability. Our latest upgrades mean that as of now, your homebase, our Headquarters, no longer lie here. They lie wherever you choose!’ He paused to allow the now deafening roar coming from the officers to die down.
‘So find a system with high traffic, lie dormant and wait for that grand prize to fall into your laps! This base is to be remembered in your logs only as a supply cache, indistinguishable from any other we may set up, and do set them up wherever you can. I don’t want any reports of ships returning here from combat with weapons still aboard, even if you are critically damaged! Whatever’s done that damage, it won’t hurt to give it a little nudge towards the other side in reciprocation! Fight these spineless bastards to extinction, give no quarter in combat. Fight until your cannons overheat, your railguns blow their cells and the torpedo bays glow with the heat of a hundred motors!’ He ended triumphantly, before the noise of the room overcame even his microphoned cheers.
This war was going to be bloody, just not for them.

Writers note -
I am going to to my best to post these once a week, but I won't promise anything just yet.
As before, feedback is appreciated.

Someone yesterday made a post asking for everyone's favorite fire emblem *ship* . Singular. *I* misunderstood it as everyone's favorite fire emblem *ships* . Plural. So, I wrote a very long comment where I gushed about my favorite ships in all of the games, realised my blunder halfway through Magvel, picked one of the ships to leave as a comment, and this post is just my excuse not to scrap the rest of that entire comment. Plus, this is a something I've wanted to do for a *very* long time, and now I can finally put this subject behind me. So without further ado....enjoy my ramblings.
​
My time has come. *inhale*
Archanea: Julian x Lena. Love me a fan who'll just go legit and betray his criminal buddies for the girl he likes
Valentia:
Maey x Boey (I loooove how despite their bickering, you can tell the two care for each other a lot because of the moments where they talk to each other about their worries and what they're going to do after the war),
Zeke x Tatiana (those two are ALREADY together and they spent their entire time together fawning over each other. The trust and bond they share is so strong that when "Zeke" leaves for Archanea to rescue his *former* love he STILL returns to Tatiana, and Tatiana in turns *knows* he will returns to her one day, no matter how much time passes) and Gray x Clair (they start off rough because of Gray being more attracted to her pretty face than herself and Clair being boorish and mean/judgemental towards, but I love how as the game progresses both their characters develop, realise their faults, how they were in the wrong early on and apologise for it - especially Clair. As for Gray, I love how Gray comes to realise that he *does* love Clair for Clair, and not her features, but can't express it well, but Clair understands what he's trying to say nonetheless)
Haven't played Jungdral, but the one with the tomboy archer and the other guy who also bicker but really care for each other
Elibe 1:
biggest one Roy x Lilina (childhood friends to lovers, Roy vowed to Hector to look after Lilina, Lilina in turns wants to do the same and also support him, their personalities are very compatible),
Fir x Noah (their support lines and interactions are too adorable. I love how in their A support Noah, who generally doesn't care much for most things, feels very strongly about Fir to the point he has to tell her how he feels because he'd otherwise regret it for the rest of his life. Headcanon they leave together after the war, become wandering mercenaries and are never heard from again),
Tate x Klein, Sue x Sin (last few of their tribe, united by this shared tragedy),
Melady x Galle (what happened to them is a tragedy and I hate it that in most playthroughs I can't keep Galle alive)
Elibe 2:
biggest one is Eliwood x Ninian (y'all played the game, I don't need to explain myself),
Lyn x Rath (both people of the plains who love their country very much and long to go back to it one way, they feel most comfortable with each other),
Hector x Florina (big scary man with meek little sheep is a hilarious but beloved ship dynamic for me),
Erk x Priscilla (the only possible pairing with those two that doesn't end in tragedy. Not to mention the two *actually* enjoy each other's company and are comfortable being together),
Jaffar x Nino (again, you've played the game. You *know* how much they mean to each other),
Matthew x Leila (poor Matthew), Pent x Louise (see Zeke x Tatiana),
Kent x Fiora (the two serious people in the army who care for protocol. How could I not),
Sain x Farina (the guy who likes singing every woman's praises and the gal who likes to tooth her own horn, and they're both spunky. HOW IS THIS NOT A PAIRING?!)
Magvel:
Eirika x Saleh (the only one of her potential pairs who doesn't feel like she needs to be protected, but instead *praises* her for her *own* strenght and qualities, comparing her to an ancient hero. Get yourself the kind of man who *appreciates* you. Plus, she moves in with him once she's done helping rebuild Renais to live a modest life and I vibe with that whole aesthetic. Interchangeable with Innes, though, because her rebuffing his awkward attempts at chivalry is hilarious),
Innes x Vanessa (Vanessa has liked and admired Innes for a *very* long time, and Vanessa in turn is the only person Innes drops the whole "cool prince" mask off and can just be himself),
Lute x Artur (childhood friends to lovers, the two have been together for years. I like how through talking to each other, after hearing her explanations, Artur realises that the teasing she used to do to him were just her awkward attempts at helping him overcome his fears. Not to mention the reversal of roles in their A support, when the usually calm and reserved Artur is the one to make the first move in their relationship, leaving Lute in turn to be bewildered and speechless for once),
Colm x Neimi (childhood friends to lovers, shared mutual trauma, both orphans who only got each other left after they lost their families and village got massacred, literally the only pairing those two have. Regardless, I like how Colm is the type of guy to tease Neimi for being a crybaby, but knows the difference between her being overly sensitive and things that genuinely bother her and lines that shouldn't be crossed, while also defending her from bullies who would *genuinely* make her cry. Dude went by himself in a literal den of thieves to recover her familty heirloom, and Neimi went *after him* because she was worried. Otp. Otp. Otp)
Franz x Amelia (it is Franz's kindness and honesty that convinces Amelia to switch sides and realise that what Grado is doing isn't right, and it is because of that same kindness that Amelia finds herself confortable in the army and under the commander she was taught to hate. In turn, through their mutual friendly rivalry they both become stronger both as soldiers and as people, Amelia getting more of a backbone and becoming more confident)
Gillian x Syrene (they share a common, a mutual hobby and they're both veterans)
Awakening:
Robin x Cordelia (Robin helps Cordelia come to terms with her trauma of being the last surviving member of her unit, her stigma against being called a prodigy and move on with her life, as well as getting over her one-sided crush on Chrom. In turn, Robin admires Cordelia a lot for her prowess and dilligence)
Robin x Say'ri (at first, Robin is interested in learning about Say'ri and her place of origin, and through talking with her, Robin falls more and more in love with the place she is describing and her in turn, wishing to visit it together with her. As for Say'ri, she appreciates that someone is interested in her birthpace and becomes as passionate about Chonsin as she is)
Chrom x Sully (the two are childhood who, just like with Innes and Vanessa, feel most comfortable with each other because they don't have to keep up appearances or pretend they're someone else. Sully doesn't have to worry about being girly around Chrom, while Chrom doesn't have to worry about acting as the crown prince, and the two can be the same people who've been butting heads since childhood)
and now I'm tired so I'll finish later