She shows her friendly family nature, it made you melt, Maintains an arm distance, but always asked your help.
Says you are a good friend, but don't do much for fun, She chooses to depend, because you are a reliable one.
You feel bad like is your worth just for things and work, But you choose to be silent as you are a dutiful dork.
Your heart wants her safety, and offers her anything, There was no reliable male figure, so you do everything.
Money, property, finance, essentials - she hands her trust, You take care of everything, you feel the need to and must.
Silently you help her in things, but you struggle with yours, You feel alone, yet don't burden her that your heart pours.
She wished you valentine's, you give her your everything, Your made her a priority you left out nothing
Life changes and you hope she remains a friend & stays, But come back to see she packed her bags & part ways.
Till 2021 things seemed fine as you looked after her things. For a gap of one year, no longer she was as you think.
She forgets all the jokes, memories and times you share, Moves on with her life, leaves all affection aside and care.
How people can take advantage, at times she had no clue. You warned her to not trust, and that turned out true.
The efforts to safeguard & protect are dismissed by her, After she couldn't trust her own and her mom's brother.
You see that nobody takes advantage when she had no one, Says you've come out of the blue, after all shared & done.
You were a well wisher, with no expectations as a friend, She forgets how you cared, removed it all from her head.
Stood by her in everything, but didn't let you have a voice, Try to ask her anything, blocking is her weapon of choice
You expected a friend for life, she decided to move on, She chose to not discuss first or, express any emotion.
She's ignoring you hurt inside and even though you cry, No words can change her heart, useless to even try.
After saying nobody has done as much, you don't matter, To cutting you out, like a piece of trash in the gutter.
If situation reversed, theres nothing you wouldn't do for her, Life has showered her with others, no longer needs your offer.
She never understood, you wanted a lady wanting you back. Nothing out of force, never as an option, you wanted no hack.
It's hard to accept how something warm can turn so cold, Pains to think the trust bond we built didn't last till we're old.
All others were welcoming and ready to understand, She didn't need you anymore, so let go of your hand.
You look back and realise, she didn't care how you were, Never offered any time, but you were always there for her.
Care you offered no had expiry, was for lifetime and long, If she can't value that trust & loyalty, then loss is her own.
Shes now someone else's, around another guys arms, It hurts to see, but you wish her lifetime of warmth
Why did things come to this point, you have no clarity, You asked each other to eat on time, now meeting is like charity.
When people use & throw, mistrust & regret may follow her, Someday she may look back and see the friend you were.
You want her happiness always, hope she has a family life soon, You're not in her life anymore, still wish she goes to the moon.
Success and others attention have played their part, which hurts, Nobody owes anyone anything in this world, that's how life works.

Warning: Read with caution.
I sank deeper into the chair cushion, staggering back and forth, startled to be awake. Ink smudged all over as I massaged my eyes. I understood what I had done once I turned to face my desk. I must have splashed the ink all over while I was unconsciously asleep, ruining all the pages I have written for the ending of my novel. Frustrated, I let out a sigh and leaned back in my chair. How could I salvage this mess? The ink was everywhere, covering my fingers and staining my pages. I have no choice but to start all over again. I pushed the table in front of me to jolt myself out of my chair and out of my room so I could leave to go to the restroom.
As I entered the strangely cold room, sending shivers down my spine, I noticed a change in the atmosphere. The room felt heavy and overwhelming like a sudden weight was bearing down on my chest. I bowed my head in regret when I remembered my medication, resting my arms on the sink. I must have forgotten to set my alarm once more. My eyes jerked upward as I examined my face, which was smeared in ink. My eyes widened as I realised who or what was present in the room other than me. I let out a small gasp as I stood eerily still and stared into the reflection of the shadow of a person standing behind the shower curtains. I glanced away from the mirror and over at the shower curtains as my head abruptly jerked to the right to see the shadow disappear. My lips secretly released a quivering breath, and my shoulders returned to their comfortable posture. I must have been severely affected by the nightmare I had. I ruffled my ginger hair and tried to forget what had just happened. I shouldn't be overworking myself in this way as a man in my 20s. I hurriedly turned on the sink and watched the water flow while scrubbing my face rough with a handful of water. I then walked back into the hallway leading to my room after grabbing my green towel and drying it off.
My cat was lurking around the corner of the hallway as I was moving. Her emerald eyes were terrified, and I could tell that she shared my anxiety. She hurriedly left when I called her over because she heard the sound that filled the hallway, the sound of my lamp on my bedside table shattering into a million pieces as it plummeted to the floor. My room door was already closed when I hurried over there. My ears were filled with the sound of my heart racing as I became aware that I had forgotten to close the door after leaving my room. I felt queasy and my stomach constricted. I mustered up the bravery to open the door by twisting the doorknob slowly. My heart began to wrench as I was strained to see. The door revealed a room shrouded in darkness and mystery. I started to tremble and quiver and wasn't sure if I should open the lights or risk myself for whatever is in there. As I reached my arm inside the horribly dark room, caressing the wall all over to find the light switch, I felt something so human brush across my arm. I jerked my arm back and stumbled backward, regrettably hitting the ground as I retreated further. My lungs were panicking, as I drank the oxygen in, trying to survive this unholy night.
The light switch flickered by a touch, a touch of someone unknown, something unknown. I let out a scream, and at that moment, I realised that I wasn’t alone. Whatever is in that room, whatever was standing in front of me, was angry and violent, and it meant harm. My eyes are closed shut, terrified to see what is coming next. “Open your eyes,” she, the entity, said. My eyes jerked open as I heard the familiar voice, and began to tear up. She glared at me with eyes filled with malice and fury. My mind raced with thoughts of what I had done wrong. Was it something I wrote down? Was it something I haven’t written down? Was it because I failed to finish the novel? As I lay there, paralyzed with fear, I realised that I have written her the life she always deserved to live, is that wrong of me? Is that why she hates me? Despite my confusion and terror, I summoned all my bravery and called out to her, “What did I do wrong, my love? Is it something I wrote? If so, assassinate me, with all your might, take your revenge and take my soul as I am your prey.” She cackled in glee, an awful yet beautiful sound that made my skin crawl. “I want you to suffer for all eternity, as you made me.”
I turned around and stared at the words that were scrawled on the wall with the same ink that I had used to jot down the life she had always desired and deserved. She lunged at me and jammed a pen nib into my throat abruptly. She started twisting the pen, pressing it deeper and deeper as blood gushed out, "You filled my life with unpleasantness, I curse the day that I ever laid eyes on you." As I turned to look into her eyes, I gasped for air and sobbed till I passed out, filling the room with my trembling breaths. My eyes started to blur as my lifeless body started to quiver and then laid horribly motionless on the icy ground.
My eyes started to flutter open as I attempted to process what I was viewing on what seemed to be an all-white ceiling. It was difficult for me to understand the discussion being held by what sounded like my brother and an unidentified man in the hall due to the cardiac monitor next to me, which was creating a dreadfully annoying noise that pursed into my ears. I desperately tried not to interrupt their conversation as they entered the room by acting unconscious. "Every appointment established in treatment has all been washed away, all became meaningless because of you Weston," the unnamed man claimed. My brother appeared to be weeping and said, "Doctor, I didn't mean to leave him in the house by himself for that long. I told him, I bluntly cautioned him that his schizophrenia would cause him more than harm if he kept writing about his deceased wife. He keeps blaming himself doctor! He blames himself for the atrocious life she lived!” The doctor sighed and said, "Weston, there are reasons why you need to put Walton in a treatment centre or any other facility where he can be taken care of. You know very well that Walton doesn't care about his prescriptions. After his failed suicide attempt, I no longer have faith in him in your care.” As I heard the words pour out of the doctor's mouth, my body jerked up, becoming motionless. I looked around at that point and saw nobody, there wasn’t anyone present in my room, other than me. I started to tremble, praying that this was all a hallucination. That’s when the hospital suddenly went silent. My eyesight immediately fell to see my arm and I started yanking the tube that was sinking into my skin, neglecting the rush of pain I felt once I pulled it out. As soon as the tube fell to the ground, I tried to position myself to be able to leave my hospital bed and walk outside, and that’s when a power outage occurred at the hospital. All I could feel at that moment was the vomit that was inducing in my throat as fear washed over my pale body. My knees fell to the ground once I heard a familiar voice screeching mercilessly, filling the hospital with bloody screams.
Case title:
Atramentum
Case description:
the walls, the walls, the walls held his last message. “Throughout the rest of my mortal days, i hear the screams of my wife's last stay. Her demise was by my hand, my cruel strife. I made her live an unpleasant life.”

For context: Me and this girl were dating for about 2 months and it went pretty good till we broke up. The reason for the break up was that i haven't shown her enough affection while we were together and she eventually lost her feelings for me. I know I played the role of a cold hearted alpha male, not making my feelings clear and keeping everything to myself, trying to appear strong and after we went separate ways I deleted all of the momories and feelings in the same manner, so I wouldn't feel hurt for too long. Today I came to the realization that I really messed up. The girl is really like a dream girl to me and I feel quite stupid after all the things I have done. Our last conversation was about a month ago when she told me that she lost feelings and would like to end the relationship. There was simply no chance of us working out in the state we were both in. I do believe that I am a different person now.
This week I will meet her again at our school prom and I am strongly considering talking to her and trying to win her back.
What are your thoughts on this and do you have some advice for me on how to act on that day? Thanks in advance!

Hi everyone! this is something quick I wrote to get over writers block. the prompt was
"A girl goes missing. Fifteen years later, her parents get a call from her older self. But they listen in fear because they killed their daughter that dark night years ago."
please let me know how yall feel about it and how I can improve! i haven't written anything in months (:
July 20, 2006
A local family has reported their 16-year-old daughter Emma Downes missing late last night. Emma was last seen at around 11 PM saying goodnight to her parents, Lilly-Anne and Mitch Downes. Emma has medium-length, medium-brown hair. She also has green eyes and is around 5’3 and 112LBS. Attached to this statement is a photo of Emma. Please call the authorities if you have any information on Emma and her whereabouts.
July 19, 2021
This time of year for Briarwood is always the most difficult, even after 15 years. Every anniversary seems to dig a deeper hole into the hearts of residents of the small town and force fear deep into their guts. Fear for themselves, for their kids, and for their neighbors. The town has never healed from the loss of Emma Downes, and due to the length of time that has passed, it is only fair to assume the worst. Lilly-Anne and Mitch always have such hallow looks in their eyes and that just furthers the sadness that lingers in the town. If only the town knew what was about to unfold.
Within the safety of their home, they are free to mourn the way they do. They are free to feel the pain that has been building within them for fifteen years. The phone has been ringing all day with concerned neighbors, they are just showing their support, but their support isn’t needed. No, it never was, and as the phone rings for what must be the thirty-fifth time that evening alone Mitch can feel exhaustion rising within his being as Llly-Anne answers the phone. The voice she answers the phone with is not one she uses often, it is one she uses when trying to fool people that she is okay. Lately, time has been taking its toll on her, the dark shadows under her eyes and the sunken look of them, it is a juxtaposition of her youthful-looking skin. She answers the phone with a simple hello, as she has been doing all day- far too annoyed for any proper or kind greetings. The voice she hears is enough to cause shivers to rush through her body, her heart must have doubled its typical pace.
’ Mommy, it's me, Emma’
Lilly-Anne stays as still as she can, afraid someone can see the way guilt raids her body deep through her flesh, through her bones, before it finally makes itself at home within her heart.
They say a mother knows their child when they see them, they can pick them out in a crowd within seconds. But this- whoever this is cannot be her daughter.
‘Mommy, are you there?’
Lilly-Annes thoughts have become jumbled- they won't allow her to form a coherent thought.
No, this cannot be her, it cannot be Emma. Her brain is screaming that line over and over. Her voice is aged, not like that of her baby girl. Not like that of her Emma. She can’t find her footing- she feels as though she is falling- mentally she is kicking with her feet; only they aren't there. Her blood is ice cold and her mouth is full of cotton, her own throat is choking her.
‘Mom, can you hear me, it’s me it’s Emma’
She does the only thing she can think of doing at that moment and hangs up before collapsing to her knees on the floor. She is grateful for Mitch and the speed he reaches her at. She tries to tell him about the phone call but all that comes out is choked ‘Emma's’. The phone rings again and Mitch answers it abruptly, telling the caller now is not a good time though a faint voice makes him stop before he can press the little red button to disconnect the call.
‘Daddy, is that you? It's Emma, momma is being weird’
Mitch feels his blood boil. Just as he is about to hang up the voice on the other side becomes younger yet garbled. He knows the sounds and he has spent the last fifteen years trying to forget them. He pulls the phone away as a loud feedback rings through his ears. He puts the phone on speakerphone, and the screeching sound abruptly stops. He wraps his arms around his wife and promises her it is not real. They couldn't be delusional enough to believe that.
‘ Mommy? Daddy, why won't you answer me?’
Lilly-Anne cannot stop the tears that keep falling and Mitch cannot stop the fear from coursing through his veins. Lilly-Anne hangs up the phone once again.
A sudden banging on the front door draws them out of their silent fear-filled state. The viciousness of the banging is contrasted by the soft voice on the other side begging to be let in. Neither of them makes a move towards the door even as the doorframe begins to rattle, nor when they hear an object hitting the door, and not even when they heard the sound of the door swinging off of the hinges. What walks into the room cannot be their daughter. Whatever it is looks like their daughter, except for the tear stains and purple throat. Her poor body is covered in puncture wounds and her hair is matted with mud and blood. No, this is not their daughter. This is their sin- their sin that they committed together. The being stares at them before falling to the floor near their legs and whimpering one last question.
‘ Why did you take me from this world so cruelly?’
July 20, 2021
Late last night Lilly-Anne and Mitch Downes, the parents of the missing 16-year-old girl Emma Downes were found dead last night in their home on the fifteenth anniversary of their daughter's disappearance. Police have stated that there were two separate suicide notes found on the property, both notes had a confession of murdering their own daughter, Emma. The police are searching for Emma's remains in the location provided in the notes as of this moment. Both Mitch Downes and Lilly-Anne Downes were pronounced dead on the scene, both committed suicide with a single shot to the temple. The ending to the Emma Downes story could not have ended any worse than it did tonight. We send our best wishes to the remaining family and friends of Emma, Mitch, and Lilly-Anne. May Emma Rest In Peace eternally at 16 years old.

Hey I need some help with my load order. I’m new to modding, so I’m sure my load order is shit. Please give me a hand. I play on the Xbox Series S. Unofficial patch
Campfire
Simple workaround frame work
Custom race dialogue and quest
Undeath remastered
Undeath immersive lichdom sse
World encounters overhaul
ARENA-encounter zone overhaul
Frostfall
Wet and cold
I need
Relationship dialogue overhaul
JaySerpa quest expansion(Bundle)
Morbus Immortul-Revenancy
Better vampires
WinterSun
Civil war quest immersion(Bundle)
Free crafting
Cheat room
Dead body collision fix
Elden scrolls UI
VioLens
Heart Breaker
Enhanced blood textures
Ordinator
The dark arts
The path of transcendence-lichdom
Reanimate skeletons
Better daedric artifacts
Apocalypse magic of Skyrim
Populated thalmor embassy
Populated fort dawn guard
Populated cities complete
Hand placed enemies
Immersive patrols(Large Battles)
Character overhaul AIO
Imperious
Aurora standing stones
Odin-magic overhaul
Mysticism- magic overhaul
Conjurers forge 4(CF4)
Desolate mourning- a horror overhaul
Northern grass
Flying crows
JK Skyrim AIO
The great cities
Medieval forts
Justice-city exteriors
DAWN
Supreme and volumetric fog
Necromancer pack
Necromancy summon spells
Undead emerge
Better arvak(skeletal)
Thunderchild
Conduit
Truly absorb dragon souls
Wards act like shields
Frozen electrocuted combustion
True alteration armor visuals
Skeleton replacer HD and Undeath
See enchantments
Magical forces and FX (bundle)
All the little things
Immersive citizens
Collect bodies
Graphics pack - [ ] Add on- dark landscape and dungeons - [ ] Add on-smim performance - [ ] Add on- interior lighting and FX
Bijin AIO
Ks hairdos lite
Natural eyes
CBBE
Loverboy default 1k
CBBE lovergirl skin 2k
Mysticism-Ordinator patch
Dead and daedric guardians
Pandorable serana v1.2 w/blue eyes
Serana dialogue add on (SDA)
Serana expanded dialogue add on
Serana house of horrors quest expansion
Marry me serana
XPMSSE
Gritty animations Requiem 2.0
Goetia enchanted staves right hand
Comprehensive first person animation
Odin Ordinator patch
CF4- Odin with apocalypse patch
Apocalypse Ordinator patch
CF4 USSEP patch
SDA wintersun patch
The path of transcendence-lichdom imperious races patch
Companions no werewolf option
Alternate start
Feel free to tweak as you see fit. Thanks for your time and help.

When my eyes were made of the fog of youth and
Days and nights the same, sprinting pell mell down the
Growing months as my mother told me again
‘Ice and cold are best for preservation, so chill baby,
And watch out for the hot ones. They’re always crazy.’
Give her a bright tune and run off ignorant as before
To play another game of Fireworks or Gunfire in June.
​
This just in!Th-though we are confused by
What just happened another time,
Well it’s too much alike you see and
Our hearts are with them, though still blooded.
​
I feel like the first time I woke up it was a hot summer.
Maples whispered to me secrets dyed in red telling me
That we’re not quick enough to admit we’re wrong and
Also a tree can say goodbye for ten years but most of
Humanity dies thinking we’ll survive. They’ve been heated,
They’ve been steaming up for too long and our glaciers
Are gone - along with our restraint and at this rate the kids
Will play to the staccato of ARs during Christmas.
​
Couldn’t believe it when we reenacted
1812 with our own bodies stacked together
Desperate to punish someone for all the burns
Blistered across our lives
Such flaming words are incendiary for a reason
Because our souls are all too flammable.
​
Candles gather across the nation. White to white
Other colors matter not, for banishing spells
Pure white is the best and most innocent. Offer
Up all the children to the pyre so they may remain
Good until they die. But only by our hands, only when
They’ve been alive just long enough to understand pain.
Otherwise it is not a fitting sacrifice to our Most High Fear.
​
Ice come back and cool this chaos before,
Like the forest, we must regrow from ashes
Or, more likely, slag the ground too hard
For any kinder to turn into kindling.
https://www.reddit.com/OCPoetry/comments/13w3ogd/comment/jm9n1wq/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3
https://www.reddit.com/OCPoetry/comments/13w2qhh/comment/jm9obs8/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

This season I decided I want to try to make a melee sorc build. Initially I had my heart set on a Stormspire based build but once I got it going, it really fell flat. I also tried vengeance and it didn't feel to great either. I went back to the drawing board and came up with this blizzard/zeal/cold enchant sorc that actually maps well. I blast through vanilla content and on T3 blood moon maps there are points where I'm seeing 85k DPS.
 
Gear Setup:
Helmet: Ferocity for Zeal and 3 cold circlet (for prebuff)
Chest: Arkaine's Valor for Vitality, 2 all skills, FHR
Gloves: Frostburn with IAS corruption
Belt: Snowclash for +2 cold skills
Boots: Merman's Sprocket for melee cold damage + 60frw
Rings: I still use Raven Frost for melee cold damage + AR. Second ring dual leech/all res ring.
Amulet: Maras for All Res and + 2 All Skills and 3 cold ammy (for prebuff as well)
Weapon Swap: 1 all skill, 2 sorc skill, 3 cold enchant orb and 2 cold skill/all skill/sorc skill shield
Weapon: This item is what makes the build work well, Nord's Tenderizer. It gives a 15% chance to cast lv 32 blizzard on striking. Ideally you want 3 sockets with 2 Shaels in it that way you only need 10% IAS on other gear to hit the break point on Sorc Zeal. 3rd socket I chose to put Eth for -% enemy defense.
Shield: Spirit Ward with +2 sorc skills. It gives lesser fade which is a nice little boost of PDR and a decent amount of all res.
 
Merc: Act 2 Defiance (PDR!)
Weapon: I currently use a Doom but you can use a Reaper's Toll until then
Chest: Shaftstop or Stone runeword
Gloves: Lava gout for Enchant Fire
Boots: Triple Res FRW/FHR Rare boots or Gore Riders
Belt: String of Ears
Helmet: Vampire Gaze or Tal Helm
 
Skill and Stat Allocation:
20 points Ice Bolt
20 points Ice Blast
20 points Cold Enchant
20 points Chilling Armor
20 points Cold Mastery
1 point Warmth (gives AR)
Get teleport (2 points to get there)
 
Stat Allocation:
Enough STR to Equip Gear
I ended up putting 120 DEX for more AR. You don't need that much for the gear but I like the extra AR
Rest into Vitality
 
Charms/Maxing Resists:
You want anni/torch just like every other build.
Grand Charms: I prefer to use cold skillers because Cold Mastery applies AFTER cold enchant and will also buff the Blizzard damage. It also buffs your defense via Chilling Armor Secondary stats on these can either be life or added melee cold damage.
Small Charms: Use these to round out resistances/life. I also ended up getting some life/melee cold damage for extra cold damage.
I currently cannot afford 4% cold lc's with melee cold damage instead of cold gcs, but the damage would probably be insane just less survivability.

I have a friend [20, born female but questioning their gender] who has shit ass parents. We're both from different parts of the same state, but attend college all the way across the country from it, because neither of us wants to be where we grew up. For me, the hardest thing about watching this abuse is that they can't admit what it is for more than 5 seconds. They do not give themself the space to even react with resentment when their parents mistreat them.
They have a twin brother who was held back a year, hence why they are 20 as a college freshman, and the dynamic (according to them) changed midway through high school, where he switched to being the golden one and they became the scapegoat (recently the parents forced my friend to give up the money they'd carefully saved up over the school year because he spent all his money on eating takeout, which my friend identified as sexist but then couldn't keep thinking about). This dynamic change probably because around that time, they survived and fought off an attacker, literally the sort of true crime snatcher-in-the-alley scenario everyone always says is unrealistic to worry about. Their dad once called them a coward, I brought up having fought off this attacker as a counterargument, and my friend dismissed it as a fluke, unable to go against their father's words. I have certainly never done anything as brave. The twins are both undiagnosed autistic, and my friend's sensory processing issues led to them having an aide in school who socially isolated them from other kids, so my friend never had a real chance at social development by interacting with their peers. They overcompensate by being incredibly enthusiastic, so their friendships have always reached some invisible tipping point where the other person explodes and says my friend is TOO MUCH. This also means they don't have any relationship that's lasted a significant amount of time, they said "I've never had a best friend". This is a pretty key part in why they let their family have power, because they feel any relationship that's not as deep/long lasting is inherently not as good. Their parents can always tell when they're lying, so they must know them really well... (Except for the time when their mom cold-shouldered them for 3 months over a lie they didn't tell, but it doesn't seem logic can disprove this sort of sentiment.)
All of this has recently become even more unmanageable, because they've wanted for years and years to have a short haircut, but their dad pulls out every excuse for why it's not okay (it's too pretty, you don't know how to take care of it when it's short, you wouldn't look good with short hair, it goes on). The shortest they've gotten was a bob, and that was too much. They also started going by a new name at school, and in an argument impulsively revealed that to their father. Their brother said "you're getting rid of the most unique part of yourself by changing your name" (he deals with not knowing how to do social interactions by copying their shitty dad).
As someone who's able to identify the fact that everyone is being immature and abusive, that they're all ganging up on them, it is so hard to get text after text from them believing and forgiving them. It might not even be the right thing now to identify and resent their abuse, maybe it would make their life much harder in an unmanageable way. But like, another of our friends [19m] (alcoholic parents—abusive mom, enabler dad) is able to say "these people are fucked up and what they say doesn't reflect on me at all" and to live his life in spite of them. It breaks my heart to hear "my mom said my dad should be on antidepressants so now I forgive him for everything" or "But he's right, I am a coward" over and over again (I'm not clear on whether one parent is the primary person from which abuse flows forth or if they just delight in fucking up their children's lives as some sort of sadistic tag-team). My friend once posted on the anger issues subreddit, when if anything, they need to be 10,000x angrier at how they're treated. Like, I just want to take my friend and shave their stupid hair off and put them in my pocket and get them a new phone number so they never have to talk to these shitbags again. Especially the new phone—their parents text and call them constantly, even once trying to pull a wellness check after they didn't respond for a few hours. Thankfully they fucked up and got the school's registrar's office instead of the EMTs. This behavior, however, goes both ways—my friend once called to ask where to find marshmallow fluff in a grocery store, when you can literally google the aisle number at that chain. In their lowest moments, my friend still calls home. I brought up the metaphor of gambling, the more high-stakes of an emotional situation you're in, the more horrible it has the potential to go... but every once in a while, there's that sweet payoff that keeps my friend from writing them off entirely. The house always wins. As a child, they remember their dad becoming more cruel and horrible at a certain point, and I think a part of them is still holding out hope for getting that dad back, even though it's clear from the outside that whoever that man was (if he ever existed) is long gone now.
My friend is creative, strong, loyal, enthusiastic, and I want to see them unrestrained by these terrible controlling people. But I know if I keep responding to their "I'm at rock bottom, they're gonna kill me, everything's exploding" texts with "if they're already saying the worst possible things about you, then they won't have anything worse to say when you do cut your hair" (from what I understand, physical abuse is not part of the equation, I wouldn't be flippant like that ever if they let on to any physical abuse), I'm going to alienate them and not make them feel safe with me. Is there like, al-anon for friends of victims of abuse? I want to be there for them, and I don't know how. Not at all.
So, tl;dr: do you have resources to share that could help me not burn out from trying to be supportive when I can't really do anything, and do you have resources for helping my friend begin to actualize that the sunk cost fallacy =/= real familial love? Or recommendations/general advice?

For those who haven't read the first phase, here's a link. I want to thank the people who upvoted and the ones who commented, I thought this sub would be tired of cinematic universe re-writes by now but I'm glad to see that my take on it is fresh and appreciated! Now, let's move into phase two of this universe.
Schedule

• Captain America: Out of Time
• The Wolverine: Brothers in Arms
• Excalibur
• Iron Man
• The Brotherhood of Mutants
• The Uncanny X-Men (Cyclops' team)
• Daredevil
• X-Corporation
• The New Mutants (Xavier's team)
• The Groundbreaking Giant-Man
• Fantastic Four: Rising Storm
• The Avengers: Age of Ultron

This phase keeps the mutants separated in their factions so that the phase three final event can feel larger in scale and more earned, and rather focuses on building up the Avengers.

Captain America: Out of Time

This movie is about the Winter Soldier story arc. We've already seen the mystery aspect of the whole Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier thing and Bucky wasn't introduced in the first film properly so I would avoid the mystery, rather skip straight to expositing to Steve that Bucky is back and deal with the emotional ramifications. Crossbones and Aleksander Lukin play the same roles they do in the comic arc, a side and the main antagonist respectively, Crossbones is a bit of a one-and-done. We will replace Union Jack's role in the original story with Ian Zola to continue their surrogate fatheson relationship, but Union Jack will be present at the end of the story in a post-credit scene joke.
This is a bit asshole-y of me but I want it to be out in the dirt-sheets that Captain Britain has been cast and may appear in the new Captain America film. We set that up and have someone like Taron Egerton on set for the film in 'leaked' pictures, and we finally have him show up after the credits, only for him to reveal himself to be Union Jack... and that's it. He probably won't show up in any other project again.

The Wolverine: Brothers in Arms

The movie starts with cameos from Cyclops and Iceman alongside Wolverine, showing Wolverine deciding not to stand by Scott's side and leave Scott's X-Men.
This is the start of the formation of X-Force, we have a couple of extra characters alongside Wolverine: namely Colossus and Deadpool. To be clear, this Deadpool is the same one from the Untitled Deadpool sequel, so he can continue to make meta jokes about the universe and try to bounce off of the new Colossus everytime he forgets its not the one he first interacted with in the first two Deadpool films. The main antagonist is a mysterious group moving behind the scenes to take down political enemies of mutantkind, who are using Nightcrawler and the newly introduced Spider-Woman to get things done, as well as Kitty Pryde, who audiences as of now still think left with Scott. This catches the attention of Moira, who is involved with the British intelligence at this point in time and passes word to a 'friend', later found out to be Psylocke.
The group is revealed to be Worthington Industries, as Warren Worthington III is behind it all (can't call him Angel because he isn't really powered anymore with his wings gone). He is eventually shut down but isn't killed.
Post-credits: Psylocke introduces the now unaffiliated Nightcrawler, Spider-Woman and Kitty Pryde to the idea of joining her team of mutant defenders and introduces them to their leader: Captain Britain. Excalibur, here we go!

Excalibur

Roster: Captain Britain, Psylocke, Nightcrawler, Kitty Pryde/Shadowcat, Spider-Woman
This film is basically Kingsman but less spy and even more British. Our main villain is Modred the Mystic, and I would have him and a couple of minor antagonists working for him all played by BBC legends. Hugh Laurie, Stephen Fry, Rowan Atkinson, the works. This film is basically a love letter to old BBC comedies and thespian culture, maybe some more cameos from actors who were in the IT Crowd, Yes Minister, BlackAdder and the like. Get Matthew Vaughn he knows how to balance British humour with an action plot he's done it quite a bit and we've had him in the universe already. There's room for social commentary about the villains all having south English accents and being played by actors all associated with that posh background too.
We have a smaller role from Black Knight too, he plays a part in fighting Modred but he isn't an official member of the team, more of a wildcard.

Iron Man

This will be an adaptation of the Demon in a Bottle storyline. Unlike Iron Man 2 it will not be a side plot but rather the focus of the film, as we've already seen Tony fight physical threats similar in skillset to himself a lot.
Ideally I want to bring Sam Rockwell back as an older Justin Hammer putting together a set of smaller villains - Blizzard, The Melter and Whiplash. We have Henry Gyrich and Nick Fury in small roles, as well as the Wasp and Namor making cameos similar to their roles in the original Demon in a Bottle comic arc.
I want Tony's emotional turmoil to bleed over into his personal life too, so we have Bethany Cabe and Pepper Potts both in the film, Potts just as his personal assistant while Cabe is the one he is in an actual relationship with. But it's clear that Tony has some reservations about Bethany and may be falling for Pepper. Rhodey is in this film too to give him some platonic support to lean on but no mentions of War Machine. A couple extra footnotes, Jarvis is a physical butler like in the comics, not an AI, and Tony does not go public with his identity.
The film ends with, yes, Hammer in jail, and two out of the three side villains dead (Whiplash survives and is in custody), but the real victory comes when Tony gets over his alcoholism. I don't want to insist upon any specific story beats, but getting someone like Dexter Fletcher to direct would be perfect as his work on Bohemian Rhapsody and Rocketman shows a deep understanding of egoist, narcissistic but undoubtedly talented people falling into substance abuse. That is the real core of this film and it's okay if the physical antagonists fall to the way-side for it.

The Brotherhood of Mutants

Magneto starts a cult in Latveria based around mutants being the next step in humanity's evolution. Members of the cult are Rogue, Mystique, Toad, Pyro and his twin children Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver. I would get someone like Greta Gerwig in on this who can create scripts that study characters inside and out as this movie should focus a lot more on the complexity of all the morally grey characters than any actual fights between the characters.
This obviously raises the eyebrow of Victor von Doom (who was already introduced in F4 if you recall), and the two ideologies clash. While Doom is not the outright villain in this film as both sides have problems, it's more a mix of grey. Magneto does 'lose' as Doom kills Pyro and warns Magneto to leave Latveria which Erik complies with. The film ends with Colossus hearing about the 'brotherhood', misinterpreting it as a school like Xavier's, and introducing Erik to his sister: Magik.

Uncanny X-Men

Established Roster: Cyclops, Jean Grey, Iceman, Kitty Pryde
New Members: Armor, Gambit, Blink, Sunspot, Havok
This film basically begins with Kitty leaving the team which explains her involvement in the The Wolverine: Brothers in Arms. Cyclops very clearly has issues with Xavier and its explored how Scott feels Xavier failed the team by being too soft. The team have their internal conflicts about if this is the right thing to do, with Bobby and Jean pulling one way while Scott pulls the other. The villains are Sebastian Shaw and his latest recruit to the Hellfire Club: Abyss (Alexander Koch).
Abyss is killed by Shaw so he can absorb his power in the final battle, and Shaw fights Jean and Armor, seemingly having the upper hand after absorbing Abyss' energy but he is killed by a stray laser beam from Cyclops. The team is distraught that Scott would just kill a mutant in cold blood like that, causing a major rift. The team essentially is over, with only Jean remaining at his side. Havok decides this is not his fight to fight, while Sunspot, Armor and Iceman begin to agree more with Xavier and decide to leave for the Xavier School, and Gambit goes back to being essentially a free agent.

Daredevil

Get Drew Goddard and the Netflix series cast on this ideally, match that tone of elevated street-level work. This is essentially the Guardian Devil storyline from the comics, including the Mephisto, Wong and Black Widow stuff.
I don't really have a lot to say, keep Spider-Man as a major player even if the actor's cost is a bit steep as he will really bring eyes to this, as well as the debuts of Black Widow and Mephisto. Let 'em at it, but keep Gwyneth and Karen Page as separate characters, I know it could be tempting to roll them into one to keep the number of players in the storyline low and maybe avoid the PR trouble that comes with a teenage pregnancy in your cinematic universe.
Mysterio is revealed to be the guy behind everything in the final act, setting Bullseye and the Twin Killers on Matt and Peter and having made a deal with the devil. He is defeated, but not killed.

X-Corporation

Our next conceptual experimentation comes with the X-Corporation. My ideal team for this would be the same team that made Deadpool to allow for some dark and meta humour.
This is unlike the X-Corporation from the comics, rather it's the polar opposite. It's not an official company under the wing of Genosha or Krakoa or anything like that, but rather a rag-tag group of, essentially, nobodies. Worthington Industries continues its illicit activities, and two people notice it: Davis and Heather Cameron (Slipstream and Lifeguard, respectively). They decide to put together a team of their own, inspired by the X-Men. The team consists of themselves as well as Risque, Penance (Monet St Croix), Darkstar, Multiple Man, Domino, Cannonball, Sunfire and Thornn. The meta commentary and rag-tag style of team makes this movie sorta feel like a hybrid of James Gunn's Suicide Squad and Guardians of the Galaxy, but with mutants.
It's quite the large team, and that's the fun part because unbeknownst to them or the audience, a lot of them will be dead by the end of the movie. While not present in the marketing in any way, the movie makes it clear that not all of the team will survive this mission, almost in the way movies like the first Avengers did, a way that makes it seem like just a way to raise the stakes without doing anything about it, but this movie delivers.
Warren is back, but reveals that with the help of a new ally he has regained his ability to fly. Magneto, playing a much more villainous role now, has given Warren new metal wings, completing his transition to Archangel. These two along with a new player form our trio of villains: Mister Sinister. He is also working with Angel, but it is made clear in this movie that both Sinister and Archangel have a larger power they are working for.
The final battle is Mister Sinister against the X-Corporation, but Sinister decides to play his ace in the hole: a set of five clones to form "Sinister's Six" (including himself). The clones are of Wolverine, Mystique, Storm, Beast and Nightcrawler. The team's goal, previously taking down the Worthingtons, changes as they realise they are massively out of their depth. Their goal is now simply to get out of there alive. In the end, the clones are all killed and Sinister decides to live to fight another day but the team takes heavy losses. Risque, Penance, Darkstar, Sunfire, Thornn and most importantly: our protagonist, Slipstream, all perish. That leaves us with Lifeguard, Multiple Man, Domino and Cannonball alive.

The New Mutants

It's been long enough, get me the Russos on this one. They are oh so good at taking ensemble films, deconstructing them into their most raw character conflicts and raising those conflicts. I want that to happen here.
Established Roster: Professor X, Emma Frost, Storm, Beast
New Members: Thunderbird, Bishop, Jubilee
Magneto and Archangel decide to go after a common enemy: Xavier and his team. Xavier's school has produced some new talent who are being slowly integrated into the team, namely the three new recruits. Magneto and Archangel bring along Sabretooth too, who Xavier eventually realises is Logan's half-brother and convinces to join his side by the end of the film. Xavier is still our protagonist, as Magneto's ideals directly conflict with Xavier's ideals much like Scott, and Xavier feels massive guilt for his part in Archangel's crippling. We can have Xavier try his best to reconcile with Warren, drawing parallels to his own crippling (no details given, I want to hold that back but we do get some vague things like that it was a bullet that Xavier could very easily have avoided and that wasn't intended for him).
It seems like Xavier is getting through to Warren but just as that seems likely, Magneto realises why Xavier has never tried using his powers on Erik, or rather that he has but has failed due to Erik's helmet. He very quickly fashions a way for Warren to shut Xavier out, completing the Archangel look with a new exosuit and helmet. The final battle doesn't result in any deaths but the X-Men take a few hits before being put down, Storm eventually being the X-Factor when she electrocutes Warren's wings, shorting them and causing Magneto to flee with him.

The Groundbreaking Giant-Man

This is the Ant-Man sequel, as you may have realised by now I'm doing a weird thing with the titles where I change the alias and the descriptor for each film in the series. This is another Edgar Wright film, and while there will be comedy it will be slightly dialed back for more serious emotional weight. Not saying that funny films can't be films that make the audience feel, but some tonal consistency would be nice and a comedy having the kind of themes I want this film to explore would be a bit dissonant.
This film is about Hank realising he won't be around forever, and looking to pass the mantle on. This creates two options: Scott Lang, or an AI.
Scott and Jessica Jones are in a rocky relationship, we explore this as one of the central dynamics of the film, this is as much as Scott Lang film as it is a Henry Pym film. The main villain is Kilgrave who is manipulating Jessica but eventually Hank and Janet put an end to his schemes, Janet finally becoming the Wasp properly after a brief test run of the suit in Iron Man.
In the end, Scott's fractured emotional state after his tumultuous relationship with Jessica leaves him an unsuitable candidate for Hank, and he decides to create an AI to protect the Earth.

Fantastic Four: Rising Storm

I don't have a particular plot in mind for this film but I have an idea, basically just the coming of Galactus plot but with less of Galactus, rather more of Silver Surfer as a precursor to his arrival. Make it known that the Baxter Foundation is looked at with more and more raised eyebrows as they seem to be misplacing some important and dangerous things often, as proven by the existence of the Fantastic Four as well as the accidents involving Mole Man and Spider-Man.
The main things I want this film to accomplish is setup Galactus as a top threat for the future and strengthen the bonds between the F4 and their peers. Really make them feel united together, Alicia too is with Ben and the two are happy together. The Silver Surfer retreats, he is defeated (no switching of sides just yet).
Post-credits: Hank Pym, with the help of Reed, completes his AI: Ultron, the final pieces being some alien remnant tech that the Silver Surfer left behind. Ultron immediately awakens, becomes self-aware, and kills Hank before escaping the Baxter building, gaining access to non-nuclear missiles and decimating New York City using it. The extent of the damage is unknown in this scene.

Avengers: Age of Ultron

This film could even be a two-parter, but I think one 3 hour film should do the trick.
New York is decimated. In the wreckage, Wasp, Mister Fantastic, The Thing, Human Torch, Iron Man, Captain America, Black Widow, Spider-Woman and Scarlet Witch are confirmed dead. We have an actual 'age' of Ultron as Ultron basically takes over the world, creates Vision and inhabits his body, while the rest of the world tries to survive. As you have realised by now, the only surviving member of the Fantastic Four is Sue Storm, and while its unclear which mutants died, Emma Frost and Wolverine who are two of the most prominent characters in this film, both imply that they lost many friends. We explore these characters' grief while in this dystopia. As must be clear by now, Ultron has no real personality. He is what Ultron should be: ruthlessly efficient, and unfeeling. The Terminator, given the goal to terminate the world.
We have a new character in Hawkeye and Spider-Man introduce us to the post-apocalyptic world, and then slowly the plot is discovered: that technology that Silver Surfer left behind is capable of travelling across timelines. Before their final gamble, we spend the majority of the film in this dystopia with all the heroes, exploring their lives in the post-Ultron world trying to survive and hide. Heroes from elsewhere like Storm, Black Panther, Namor and others come to New York too so that all the power is in one place to devise a plan against Ultron.
Our primary protagonists after the first few minutes with Hawkeye and Spider-Man are Wolverine, Invisible Woman, and Emma Frost. Wolverine and Invisible Woman have their screen-time and grieve their massive losses, but another important player must be Emma. Her arc of going from cunning and sly Hellfire Club member to standing with Xavier and choosing the right side of history is made very clear in this film.
We have our heroes send Wolverine and Invisible Woman to an alternate timeline, where they meet The Defenders which consists of Iron Man, Captain America, Ant-Man, Wasp, Professor X and another Wolverine. The two parties fight, thinking our heroes have been sent by Morgan Le Fay, before the Defenders realise that our heroes aren't lying about their timeline and agree to help them, using the Silver Surfer's technology to reconstruct another device to send them back to their timeline to before Hank and Reed create Ultron.
Our big 'final' confrontation is Logan and Sue trying to confront Hank about creating Ultron, trying to convince him not to do it. Hank refuses to listen, and eventually Logan is forced to kill him, causing him and Sue to become fugitives. Upon capture, Emma Frost reads their mind and realises they aren't lying. However, unbeknownst to all of them, Ultron knew about the technology (because of course he did) and followed the heroes into this point in the timeline. As Ultron does not exist in this timeline yet and isn't connected to the rest of the world in his semi-organic android Vision body, he is not more than his android body, resulting in our final fight being Ultron against everyone, a proper one versus all as Ultron's practically infinite computing power causes him to sense pretty much every attack that comes at him.
Everyone who died is back (minus Hank of course), but the final fight extracts a price too, as Black Panther dies when he gets in the way of a Vision beam headed straight for Namor. Emma Frost dies when she tries to infiltrate the mind of the android but encounters Vision's countermeasures, which instantly attack her and render her brain-dead. Emma dies trying to do the right thing, ending her arc over the course of the last two phases in tragic fashion. Ultron is eventually defeated when Doctor Strange uses magic to trap him in an infinitesimally small micro-universe after being worn down by everyone else.
And that's how this phase ends. The world is saved but it is quite the downer. Nick Fury however, sees potential in putting the non-associated heroes together, and decides to contact Tony Stark about starting the Avengers. Our movie ends with the very first Avengers team being put together.
Post-credits scene: The Baxter Foundation is officially disbanded, and Reed Richards replaces it with the Future Foundation.
So, to recap the end of the phase, here is how our factions look:-

• Avengers: Iron Man, Captain America, Hawkeye, Black Widow, Doctor Strange, Wasp, Scarlet Witch
• X-Men (Scott's team): Cyclops, Jean Grey, Blink
• X-Men (Xavier's team): Professor X, Beast, Thunderbird, Storm, Bishop, Jubilee, Sabretooth, Sunspot, Armor, Iceman
• X-Corporation: Lifeguard, Multiple Man, Domino, Cannonball
• Future Foundation: Mister Fantastic, The Thing, Invisible Woman, Human Torch, Wolverine
• Unnamed villain faction: Archangel, Magneto, Mister Sinister

The next phase will close out the first arc of this universe by eventually bringing the X-Men together for the final event, while also giving some hints to phases to come with some cosmic stuff and the introduction of the Inhumans.

"Come inside, the kids are upstairs." Molly was in a rush, I knew this much from the phone call we had earlier. She had never used me before but heard about me through word of mouth. Which meant that my little side hustle was starting to gain traction.
I am a babysitter for a good neighborhood. There's cars parked outside, lawns are manicured, and the occasional termite company is out doing rounds. I don't know why but I always feel as if there's a termite guy nearby, it's a pretty decent area. Which is a far cry from where I live, on the other side of the tracks, literally. There are train tracks that run through our town and it acts as a divide. But they didn't need to know that. They only needed to see the straightened hair, well spoken, fake braces wearing girl in glasses sporting a skirt that wasn't too short where the neighbors would talk.
Usually I sat down with new clients, have them introduce me to their kids (trust me it helps) in order to make a clear cut line with them that I am in their parent's employ and I am not there to be their bestfriend and will definitely tell on them if they act up or break something. That's not to say I won't play silly games with them, feed them, laugh, tell bed time stories, and age appropriate jokes. But I am nobody's rug.
That's what I usually do, but there wasn't such luxury this time. Molly called me on the phone and she sounded desperate for me to come out. I had concert tickets and told her that they were non-refundable and she suggested that if I could make it in 30 minutes then she'd pay me twice the amount for the tickets and 1.5x my usual rate. I got there in 29 minutes. It would have been sooner but I needed to air myself out if you know what I mean.
Anyways, Molly barely had time to look at my face, let alone get any of my credentials as she was rushing out. Working mom it looked like. Business, by the looks of the pencil skirt and the bag that doubled as a folder. It always amazes me how much trust some people put in others to watch their kids. What if I was a serial killer? Or a deranged lunatic? What if I killed the babysitter on my way here and now I'm in a house, alone, with all her children.
I'm not. But I mean, what if, right?
She didn't seem to think about any of these things, leaving me to mumble goodbyes as she pulled out of the driveway, barely audible as the turbos wound up and she shouted something out the window to the likes of, "It's all on the iPad".
Yeah, no more yellow lined paper stuck with the realtor's magnet on the fridge anymore. It's all digital now.
I closed the door and figured that I better check up on the kids before I did a rundown. God this house was beautiful. I climbed the stairs two at a time and rounded the hall. To be fair, calling it a hall was so basic of me. It was more like a wing. West wing madam. The wing could have fit my living room. I click my heels when I heard a snort come from behind me. I came to face a shaggy dog that was well groomed. The collar was black with an underline of blue. Tiffany's undoubtedly. "Hey," I reached a hand and scratched the mop of top. "Let's go find the kids," I tell the dog as if it could understand me.
There were a series of rooms, most of them closed, but it didn't take me a second guess which one was occupied. The second door on the left, I could hear a kid shouting obscenities about someone being trash. I knocked on that door first.
"Come in," he shouted still loud but slightly less angry.
I opened the door and saw a stereotypical gamer's room. Posters, action figures, a rocking gaming chair on the floor in front of a huge flat screen, and a boy about 9 or 10. He had on his headphones and was sipping a Dr. Pepper.
"Don't they know trash day is on Thursdays?"
He cocked his head and laughed, "If you're looking for my mom I think she's downstairs."
"I'm actually looking for you." And let me tell you something. The audacity of this younger generation. The way he looked at me. Almost made me feel as bad as how I felt when he shrugged his shoulders after he had a good look. "Excuse me," I walk in front of him and blocked the screen. "I'm your new babysitter."
He shrugged. "Cool."
"What's your name?"
"You can read all about it somewhere else."
"What?"
"It's all on the iPad," he told me.
"What's your name," I repeated.
He rolls his eyes and looks at me as if I had asked him a stupid question.
I don't budge.
He whined, "Bobbie. Now come on, the next rounds about to start." he pulled his headphones over his ears. I grabbed the remote to get his attention. "What. Hey come on."
"It's nice to meet you Bobbie. Your mom's going to be away for a few hours and I'll be here until she gets back. Dinner is at 6:00 and I will make snacks at 4:30."
"No cap," he motioned at the tv, "Now can I get back to my game.
"Sure I tell him." Pocketing the remote.
"Hey!"
"Bye," I tell him as I close the door behind me.
So I'm back out in the hallway. And I open a few more doors. Some were locked. Before I get into one that's rather plain. There's a picture hanging up behind the bed, a tv, some lamps and shade. On the bed sits an identical, about 9 or 10, twins it seems. Probably why Bobbie was tired of being asked which one he was.
This one was staring at the blank screen. No video games. And quiet. Now I've babysat my share of kids before, and have seen all sorts. Quiet kids are my favorite. They don't mind board games, or listening. Most often times they only need to be left alone. I don't do too much talking in case they get tired of hearing my voice. And I give them a lot of space. "Hey, sorry about that. I didn't think anyone was in here."
He turned to me slowly, "Hi. Are you the new sitter?"
I nodded, "Yup. And I'm guessing that you're Max. I'll be watching you guys while your mom is away."
"She's probably going to work."
"Yeah, looked like it." I see the iPad in his hands. "Hey. I was looking for that."
"She's always at work." He hands it over. "It's dead. And mom took the charger."
I tried not to sigh. This was not how I wanted things to go. "Well, ok. If you need anything. Let me know. Or else I can come get you at 4:30 for snacks and dinner at 6."
He nodded, "Thanks," and goes back to staring at the screen.
I smile but he doesn't see, so I leave, closing the door softly behind me.
I make my way downstairs, wandering into the kitchen and start taking stock of what's there. Which was practically everything. This kitchen was so chic that I half expected Gordon Ramsay to pop out and tell me that the banana bread I made didn't have a clue if he staked the curved yellow fruit down the middle (it's a bad question mark joke. Listen. I never said I was funny).
Once I made sure that there was food, or ingredients to make food. There wasn't much else to do. The house was spotless. The kids were fine. And even the dog seemed well behaved. So I plopped on the couch, took out my fake braces, and watched tv until about 4:10 before I started slicing apples and celery to go with some peanut butter.
I fed the dog some peanut butter and licked my fingers (not with the hand I fed the dog with), before heading upstairs. Bobbie took the plate no problem but I couldn't find Max for the life of me. I wandered the rooms as the dog followed, still trying to lick my hand. "Max, I've got snacks." I knocked on what seemed like the umpteenth door before I get to a rather solid oak one that seemed custom.
Inside was the biggest home library I had ever seen. And I once dog sat for a pretentious professor from the college nearby. I mean, there was a portrait of said academic holding his dog in 18th century art style hanging over the mantle place of the deep wood cabinets filled with books. And yet this library made the other one look like a neighborhood book exchange birdbox.
"Holy..."
"Cow."
I whirled around to find Max standing in the doorway.
"You shouldn't wander into Father's study."
"I was just looking for you," holding up the plate. He made a face. "What? You don't like PB&C?" I took a stick and crunched on the celery.
"I'm not hungry."
I shrug. "Take it anyway. In case you get hungry."
He grabs the plate from me without much struggle so I decide to leave him be. I went back downstairs and crashed in front of the tv.
When I woke up. It was dark. My mouth was dry and all of the lights were off. The screen saver flashed the logo in blinks, lighting up the room only momentarily. For a second I forgot where I was and felt my heart thumping in my chest. My alarm didn't go off but I don't know why I woke up. Then I heard it again. The sound that must have jerked me awake. A crash. It came from upstairs. I grab my phone and glance down at the numbers. It was 8:10. I had slept through dinner. Shit. Shit. Shit. Here I was trying to make a good first impression and I missed out on dinner.
I wipe what drool was on my face and took to the stairs. Bobbie was probably so immersed in his game that he probably didn't even know he was hungry. Max on the other hand. "Max?" I call out down the hall. All of the doors are shut. I can hear something panting behind me. I turn to see the dog again. Its head is down and there's barely any light touching its face. "Hey come here," I called but it retreated in the opposite direction.
Then I shit me not. I heard a creaking come from behind me. It was the only noise in the house. I couldn't even hear Bobbie yelling in his room. I turn slowly and see one of the doors down the hall is now slightly ajar. It's dark in here. It was dark everywhere. I pressed my hands against the wall searching for a light switch. "Bobbie," I call out. There's no answer. "Hey, sorry about the delay in dinner. I'm going to get to it now."
Why was this place so big? And why could I see the door?
"Bobbie. Max?" I hear the dog tapping its paws behind me. Someone on the other side of the house by now. "Hey, where are you guys?" I peer at the single door that's open and realized why it was so prominent. The hall was dark, but what was inside was even darker. Instead of going toward it, I try the first knob my blind fingers came across. Process of elimination I told myself. It was locked. I tried the next one. Also locked. I finally get to Bobbie's door and I knock. "Bobbie." There's no answer. I press my head against the door and listen. But I don't hear a single sound.
"Where are all the light switches in this place!"
The door that was open before slightly opens again. Creaking, *tic tic tic tic*, with each ungreased turn of the hinge. "Shit. Hey, stop playing around."
There's laughing coming from behind me. It sounded like a little kids. Too young to be either of the boys. Followed by smaller footsteps. It sounded like they were barefoot. "Hey, this isn't funny. I'm going to tell your mother when she gets home." I take out my phone and turn on the flashlight. "When is she coming home?" It was almost 8:30, when I realized that we never set a time.
I hear footsteps again, they were odd. Almost like falling. Like a toddler learning how to run for the first time but the hollow ground sounded as if the person was much heavier. I shine my flashlight over the hall. "Shit." The dog was sitting on all fours in the corner. It was facing the wall. I couldn't even see his face. Every hair on its body completely still.
"Hey," I called out. "Come here." I clicked my tongue. "Come here." The dog didn't move. I couldn't even see it breathing.
Bang! It sounded like thunder behind me. As if someone dropped something on the floor. As if something fell off a shelf or was pushed. I jumped around and shone my light down the west wing. I didn't know if I should have been more or less afraid now that the door was closed. "Bobbie? Max?"
God. I did not want to try the door. And I stood there for a minute before realizing how stupid I must have looked. These were some rich kids playing a joke on you Camilia. I know it. The thought of their smug little faces made me stomp out of my frozen state. I took a couple of strides over and grabbed the handle.
"Fuck!" The thing was hot. "What the hell! You guys could have hurt me," I yelled. I banged on the door. "Open up. You two are in so much trouble." I banged on the door again. "Open the door. Right now!" I could hear something on the other side. It sounded like shuffling. Heavy furniture perhaps. "You guys better not be messing things up in there. I'm not going to clean it. I mean it."
I banged on the door. "I can hear you in there! Now come on!" I put my hands on my hips and tapped my foot. "I'm waiting. Your little jokes over now." I banged on the door again.
That's when the door knocked back.
It wouldn't have scared me. I don't think. Except for the fact that I was surprised. And alone in the hall. Without any of the lights on. In a strange house. And before I could say anything else. Another door behind me knocked from the inside. "Shit. Both of you are in on this?" I grabbed the handle to the other door. It was also locked. I banged on it. "Come out right now. Max?"
But then a third door started knocked from down the hall. I felt my throat clump as I tried to swallow. "You guys weren't supposed to have anyone over." The knocking didn't stop. It kept echoing down the hall. "I'm not getting paid for three kids you know?"
Tat-tat-tat-tat. Tat-tat-tat.
I took a single step. And then all of the doors in the hallway suddenly started banging.
I almost tripped as I ran toward the stairs. The doors were thundering on so hard I thought they would crack their hinges. I skipped the stairs, the sounds chasing me as I tried to not fall and break my neck. When I got to the front landing I hear someone say my name.
"Camilia. Are you okay?"
I'm trying not to choke on a lung here as I shot my eyes toward the kitchen. The kids are sitting on the barstools lining the counter. There are two plates in front of them. As if they didn't hear the drumline upstairs.
"Is it dinner time yet," one of them asks quietly.
"Max?"
He smiles.
"Kids. I think there's someone in the house." I rush over to grab each of their hands. Bobbie's wrists are limp but it was Max's hands that shocked me. They were ice cold. I tried to let go but my fingers wouldn't uncurl.
He turns my hand over and says, "There's no one else in this house except us. I promise."
"No," I wasn't about to listen to the kid even if it was his house. "Something is wrong. We have to go. Now." I pick up Bobbie and he doesn't seem to want to move. "Come on Bobbie. Let's go." He looks over at Max who shrugs and get out of his seat.
Bobbie follows as I drag them toward the front door.
"Camilia," Max says.
"What?" He looked scared. Which made me turn toward what he was staring out. At the front door was a tall figure. I couldn't see its face through the glass. It was a stark figure of a man.
"Do you think it's your dad?"
Max shakes his head. I feel him pulling against my arm.
I call out to the man, "Hey! Who is it?" The man doesn't budge. "I'm calling the police." I turn to Bobbie, "Get the phone." He doesn't move. "Hey!" I'm trying to sound as angry as possible. "Get the fuck out of here!" I grabbed a roll of painter's tape from the side table and hurl it across the hall, hitting the glass squarely in the face where the man's head stood blocking the exit. He doesn't even twitch as the glass shakes.
"Come on," I grab their hands and rush to the back. I don't get 10 steps before I feel a scream crawl up my throat making me cough. The man was standing at the sliding door. "Fuck!" I drag the two of them with me towards the kitchen. It's a big place so there had to be a way out to the garage. We push through one of the doors and end up in the laundry room. The next door gets us out into a 3 car garage. My hands find the glowing green opener against the wall and I hear the opener fold seamlessly towards the ceiling.
It started with his feet. Then his ankles. His shins. Then his legs. Light poured in from behind him from the streetlamp. I watched as the door went to his waist before I hit the button for the garage to close, before rushing back inside. We make it into the kitchen to where I still see the tall man standing at the sliding door. A part of me wants to hide in the laundry room but I didn't want to be sandwiched in the middle of the house. So I pull the boys back up the stairs, back to where the doors banged themselves. Taking out my phone as we ascended, and called 911.
"This is the police operator speaking."
"HELLO", I hope they could hear me, "There are several men trying to get inside!"
"Men? Are you in any danger?"
"No! But they have us surrounded!"
"Why don't you go outside?"
My tongue suddenly felt numb in my mouth. Like I didn't know what to do with it. "W-what?"
"It's stranger in the house."
The line went dead as we hit the hallway.
I only took my eyes off of them for a second before Bobbie. Or Max. Runs down the hall. The one or the other already slipping through a door ahead. I look back down the stairs and see that the man is still standing in front of the doorway. I look back up and see the other boy also going through the same door. I take a single step and the doors start pounding on either side. I shut my eyes and turn around. Afraid to go. Almost deciding that these weren't my kids. That I should run away. I take a step backwards mouthing that I was sorry. But I was too scared to go! "Max! Bobbie!" My back foot sticks to the floor. I don't want to look down but the next step sticks too. I point my phone to the ground and see a trail of blood. And just behind me. It's the dog. Split right down the middle, its spine shiny and white, still facing the wall. I could see its organs still pulsing.
I couldn't go back downstairs. I couldn't go the other way. I couldn't leave them here. I couldn't be alone.
I ran after them. The thundering of the doors following me as frames fell to the floor. A vase rolled off a table in the hall. It came crashing at my feet. I run my shoulder through the door, except it wasn't locked. Which caused me to go crashing, sprawling to the floor. Running into the desk in the middle of the room.
The study.
Many of the books were off the shelves. The carpet was torn. There were curtains on fire. It was the first time a saw a window as they burned.
"Camilia!"
I hear one of their voices shouting at me.
"Camilia!" It came again. "Help!"
I get to my feet and start working my hands along the desk. I didn't have to search far. The bookcase directly behind the chair had been swung open. "Camilia!" I wipe the blood from my eyebrow where it had split and step into the tunnel behind the secret passage.
The tunnel started off tall and wide, but as I kept walking in. It got smaller and smaller. I started having to hunch. Several times I decided to turn back. But their voices would echo through, calling for me. Asking for help. "I'm coming!"
"I can't hold on! Camilia! Please!"
The twins cry for help bounced off the walls. I was finally on my hands and knees when I finally see two holes on either side. I'm afraid to look but then one of their voices came through clear as day. "Camilia." It was right in my ear now. I turned to see the boy naked and huddling, hugging his knees at the back of his hole.
"Camilia! Help! I don't want to play this game anymore!"
"Bobbie?"
"Help me!"
I look into the hole, the walls are pressing on my back and there's dust going into my lungs. I can barely turn my shoulder. "Crawl out!"
"I can't!"
"Crawl out! I'm right here." I take out my hand, "Come on!"
"Camilia!" Came a voice from the other side.
I turn my head and see Max in the other hole.
"No!" Bobbie shouts at me. "No!"
"Hold on," I tell him. "I'm going to get both of you out of here."
"No," Bobbie cries. "It's all his fault. He's the one that did it. He's the one that wants to get out!"
"Bobbie, what are you talking about."
"He's the one that put something in your drink so you'd fall asleep!"
"He's lying!" Max's voice rang through. "It's him! I saw him. Always in father's study! Reading those books! Trying out those things he reads. Those curses. Those spells. It's why the shadow men are after him! Camilia! You have to believe me."
I can hear Bobbie crying, "Why are you lying! I don't want to play anymore," he screeches. "I don't want to play!" He sobs. "You said you'd go away if I told you that I didn't want to play anymore."
I don't know what made me do it. It sure wasn't the nauseating squealing tantrum of the boy which made me reach for him first. Maybe it was because I wanted him to shut up. I don't know but I plunged my arm up to my shoulder in to grab his collar.
Instantly I screamed and saw tiny spiders, short thing legs with round white backs crawl over my arms. I shook my arm in the hole, trying to smother them against the walls. That only caused these long brown flat slugs to fall. I saw one land on my hand. It had three distinct tendon-like lines running across its back and was about a half inch long. I pulled my arm out of the hole as I felt it pierce its flat head into the back of my hand. I dropped my phone and heard it crack as the light splintered in the small, suffocating tunnel. But I didn't care as I looked at my hand and saw it burrowing its tiny spearhead below my skin. I grabbed at the wiggling tail still exposed and tried pulling it out.
It was like trying to pull our barbed wire. The spines on its body were facing me. So with each pull they dug deeper inside. I could see blood pooling under my skin, it was starting to turn purple as I tugged on its tail even harder. Until it gave. Popped right off and lay twitching in my hand. The head missing.
I couldn't take it anymore. Really. I had tried my best. I shake my head. "Bobbie. Bobbie. I'm sorry." But it didn't matter. When I looked over at Bobbie. He was covered in it. All of it. Even the spiders.
My jeans started shifting as I tried to wiggle myself out of there. But I hear Max's cry again. "Camilia! Please!"
"No," I whimpered. Shaking. I couldn't reach my hand in there again. But his voice was so scared. More scared than the pain I felt.
I shot my arm inside. Bracing. Waiting for the pain. But there was none. Instead my hands grasped around his collar and I felt his cold clammy skin, and yanked him from the hole. He came without much struggle. His face covered in the soot of it all. "Camilia," he cried. "You picked me. You did it."
I didn't have the heart to tell him that I almost didn't.
"Come on," I cried. "We. Have. To go."
The two of us wiggled our way out of there, crawling on our hands and knees, and running when we could. We finally make it back into the study. And the fire is roaring now. One of the books fall from the shelves and when it hit the fire I swear it started screaming. There was so much smoke that I couldn't see. And the door was covered by the flames.
I pointed to the window, the curtains on the floor in ashes. I kick the window. It didn't budge. I coughed. I kicked it again. The glass shook. I kicked it again and my foot went through. Pieces of the glass still hung in the frame, I use the tips of my fingers and pull them back. They fall to the floor cracking until there was a hole big enough for me to get through.
I plunge my head out and take my first breath of fresh air. The moon was full and the sky was clear. I could hear sirens coming off in the distance. When both of my feet were on the roof. I reach my hand back and grab Max from the burning house. Together we run across the clay tiles and climb down the arched tree. The red fire truck comes screeching to a stop as several firemen help us down.
One of them pushes a breathing mask on me, and wraps me up. The neighbors are outside, and the police arrive. I see a familiar car come roaring down the street, screaming to a halt as Molly runs out. Her face is flustered and she's shouting. Pushing through the cops until she reaches me next to the ambulance.
"What happened," she literally screamed at me.
"I'm so sorry," I tell her. "There were these men." I take another breath. "I couldn't do anything! B-but I saved Max! I saved him!"
She looked at the house. It was blazing now in the cool night. "Oh my god. Is Bobbie still in there?" Molly starts to cry. "My baby!"
"Max. But Max." I cough. "Max is okay!"
And she turns to me. I wasn't expecting her to be grateful. But there's anger on her face. "You didn't save my son. But you saved our dog?"
I shake my head. "No. Max. Your other son." I looked around but he was nowhere to be found.
s

"Come inside, the kids are upstairs." Molly was in a rush, I knew this much from the phone call we had earlier. She had never used me before but heard about me through word of mouth. Which meant that my little side hustle was starting to gain traction.
I am a babysitter for a good neighborhood. There's cars parked outside, lawns are manicured, and the occasional termite company is out doing rounds. I don't know why but I always feel as if there's a termite guy nearby, it's a pretty decent area. Which is a far cry from where I live, on the other side of the tracks, literally. There are train tracks that run through our town and it acts as a divide. But they didn't need to know that. They only needed to see the straightened hair, well spoken, fake braces wearing girl in glasses sporting a skirt that wasn't too short where the neighbors would talk.
Usually I sat down with new clients, have them introduce me to their kids (trust me it helps) in order to make a clear cut line with them that I am in their parent's employ and I am not there to be their bestfriend and will definitely tell on them if they act up or break something. That's not to say I won't play silly games with them, feed them, laugh, tell bed time stories, and age appropriate jokes. But I am nobody's rug.
That's what I usually do, but there wasn't such luxury this time. Molly called me on the phone and she sounded desperate for me to come out. I had concert tickets and told her that they were non-refundable and she suggested that if I could make it in 30 minutes then she'd pay me twice the amount for the tickets and 1.5x my usual rate. I got there in 29 minutes. It would have been sooner but I needed to air myself out if you know what I mean.
Anyways, Molly barely had time to look at my face, let alone get any of my credentials as she was rushing out. Working mom it looked like. Business, by the looks of the pencil skirt and the bag that doubled as a folder. It always amazes me how much trust some people put in others to watch their kids. What if I was a serial killer? Or a deranged lunatic? What if I killed the babysitter on my way here and now I'm in a house, alone, with all her children.
I'm not. But I mean, what if, right?
She didn't seem to think about any of these things, leaving me to mumble goodbyes as she pulled out of the driveway, barely audible as the turbos wound up and she shouted something out the window to the likes of, "It's all on the iPad".
Yeah, no more yellow lined paper stuck with the realtor's magnet on the fridge anymore. It's all digital now.
I closed the door and figured that I better check up on the kids before I did a rundown. God this house was beautiful. I climbed the stairs two at a time and rounded the hall. To be fair, calling it a hall was so basic of me. It was more like a wing. West wing madam. The wing could have fit my living room. I click my heels when I heard a snort come from behind me. I came to face a shaggy dog that was well groomed. The collar was black with an underline of blue. Tiffany's undoubtedly. "Hey," I reached a hand and scratched the mop of top. "Let's go find the kids," I tell the dog as if it could understand me.
There were a series of rooms, most of them closed, but it didn't take me a second guess which one was occupied. The second door on the left, I could hear a kid shouting obscenities about someone being trash. I knocked on that door first.
"Come in," he shouted still loud but slightly less angry.
I opened the door and saw a stereotypical gamer's room. Posters, action figures, a rocking gaming chair on the floor in front of a huge flat screen, and a boy about 9 or 10. He had on his headphones and was sipping a Dr. Pepper.
"Don't they know trash day is on Thursdays?"
He cocked his head and laughed, "If you're looking for my mom I think she's downstairs."
"I'm actually looking for you." And let me tell you something. The audacity of this younger generation. The way he looked at me. Almost made me feel as bad as how I felt when he shrugged his shoulders after he had a good look. "Excuse me," I walk in front of him and blocked the screen. "I'm your new babysitter."
He shrugged. "Cool."
"What's your name?"
"You can read all about it somewhere else."
"What?"
"It's all on the iPad," he told me.
"What's your name," I repeated.
He rolls his eyes and looks at me as if I had asked him a stupid question.
I don't budge.
He whined, "Bobbie. Now come on, the next rounds about to start." he pulled his headphones over his ears. I grabbed the remote to get his attention. "What. Hey come on."
"It's nice to meet you Bobbie. Your mom's going to be away for a few hours and I'll be here until she gets back. Dinner is at 6:00 and I will make snacks at 4:30."
"No cap," he motioned at the tv, "Now can I get back to my game.
"Sure I tell him." Pocketing the remote.
"Hey!"
"Bye," I tell him as I close the door behind me.
So I'm back out in the hallway. And I open a few more doors. Some were locked. Before I get into one that's rather plain. There's a picture hanging up behind the bed, a tv, some lamps and shade. On the bed sits an identical, about 9 or 10, twins it seems. Probably why Bobbie was tired of being asked which one he was.
This one was staring at the blank screen. No video games. And quiet. Now I've babysat my share of kids before, and have seen all sorts. Quiet kids are my favorite. They don't mind board games, or listening. Most often times they only need to be left alone. I don't do too much talking in case they get tired of hearing my voice. And I give them a lot of space. "Hey, sorry about that. I didn't think anyone was in here."
He turned to me slowly, "Hi. Are you the new sitter?"
I nodded, "Yup. And I'm guessing that you're Max. I'll be watching you guys while your mom is away."
"She's probably going to work."
"Yeah, looked like it." I see the iPad in his hands. "Hey. I was looking for that."
"She's always at work." He hands it over. "It's dead. And mom took the charger."
I tried not to sigh. This was not how I wanted things to go. "Well, ok. If you need anything. Let me know. Or else I can come get you at 4:30 for snacks and dinner at 6."
He nodded, "Thanks," and goes back to staring at the screen.
I smile but he doesn't see, so I leave, closing the door softly behind me.
I make my way downstairs, wandering into the kitchen and start taking stock of what's there. Which was practically everything. This kitchen was so chic that I half expected Gordon Ramsay to pop out and tell me that the banana bread I made didn't have a clue if he staked the curved yellow fruit down the middle (it's a bad question mark joke. Listen. I never said I was funny).
Once I made sure that there was food, or ingredients to make food. There wasn't much else to do. The house was spotless. The kids were fine. And even the dog seemed well behaved. So I plopped on the couch, took out my fake braces, and watched tv until about 4:10 before I started slicing apples and celery to go with some peanut butter.
I fed the dog some peanut butter and licked my fingers (not with the hand I fed the dog with), before heading upstairs. Bobbie took the plate no problem but I couldn't find Max for the life of me. I wandered the rooms as the dog followed, still trying to lick my hand. "Max, I've got snacks." I knocked on what seemed like the umpteenth door before I get to a rather solid oak one that seemed custom.
Inside was the biggest home library I had ever seen. And I once dog sat for a pretentious professor from the college nearby. I mean, there was a portrait of said academic holding his dog in 18th century art style hanging over the mantle place of the deep wood cabinets filled with books. And yet this library made the other one look like a neighborhood book exchange birdbox.
"Holy..."
"Cow."
I whirled around to find Max standing in the doorway.
"You shouldn't wander into Father's study."
"I was just looking for you," holding up the plate. He made a face. "What? You don't like PB&C?" I took a stick and crunched on the celery.
"I'm not hungry."
I shrug. "Take it anyway. In case you get hungry."
He grabs the plate from me without much struggle so I decide to leave him be. I went back downstairs and crashed in front of the tv.
When I woke up. It was dark. My mouth was dry and all of the lights were off. The screen saver flashed the logo in blinks, lighting up the room only momentarily. For a second I forgot where I was and felt my heart thumping in my chest. My alarm didn't go off but I don't know why I woke up. Then I heard it again. The sound that must have jerked me awake. A crash. It came from upstairs. I grab my phone and glance down at the numbers. It was 8:10. I had slept through dinner. Shit. Shit. Shit. Here I was trying to make a good first impression and I missed out on dinner.
I wipe what drool was on my face and took to the stairs. Bobbie was probably so immersed in his game that he probably didn't even know he was hungry. Max on the other hand. "Max?" I call out down the hall. All of the doors are shut. I can hear something panting behind me. I turn to see the dog again. Its head is down and there's barely any light touching its face. "Hey come here," I called but it retreated in the opposite direction.
Then I shit me not. I heard a creaking come from behind me. It was the only noise in the house. I couldn't even hear Bobbie yelling in his room. I turn slowly and see one of the doors down the hall is now slightly ajar. It's dark in here. It was dark everywhere. I pressed my hands against the wall searching for a light switch. "Bobbie," I call out. There's no answer. "Hey, sorry about the delay in dinner. I'm going to get to it now."
Why was this place so big? And why could I see the door?
"Bobbie. Max?" I hear the dog tapping its paws behind me. Someone on the other side of the house by now. "Hey, where are you guys?" I peer at the single door that's open and realized why it was so prominent. The hall was dark, but what was inside was even darker. Instead of going toward it, I try the first knob my blind fingers came across. Process of elimination I told myself. It was locked. I tried the next one. Also locked. I finally get to Bobbie's door and I knock. "Bobbie." There's no answer. I press my head against the door and listen. But I don't hear a single sound.
"Where are all the light switches in this place!"
The door that was open before slightly opens again. Creaking, *tic tic tic tic*, with each ungreased turn of the hinge. "Shit. Hey, stop playing around."
There's laughing coming from behind me. It sounded like a little kids. Too young to be either of the boys. Followed by smaller footsteps. It sounded like they were barefoot. "Hey, this isn't funny. I'm going to tell your mother when she gets home." I take out my phone and turn on the flashlight. "When is she coming home?" It was almost 8:30, when I realized that we never set a time.
I hear footsteps again, they were odd. Almost like falling. Like a toddler learning how to run for the first time but the hollow ground sounded as if the person was much heavier. I shine my flashlight over the hall. "Shit." The dog was sitting on all fours in the corner. It was facing the wall. I couldn't even see his face. Every hair on its body completely still.
"Hey," I called out. "Come here." I clicked my tongue. "Come here." The dog didn't move. I couldn't even see it breathing.
Bang! It sounded like thunder behind me. As if someone dropped something on the floor. As if something fell off a shelf or was pushed. I jumped around and shone my light down the west wing. I didn't know if I should have been more or less afraid now that the door was closed. "Bobbie? Max?"
God. I did not want to try the door. And I stood there for a minute before realizing how stupid I must have looked. These were some rich kids playing a joke on you Camilia. I know it. The thought of their smug little faces made me stomp out of my frozen state. I took a couple of strides over and grabbed the handle.
"Fuck!" The thing was hot. "What the hell! You guys could have hurt me," I yelled. I banged on the door. "Open up. You two are in so much trouble." I banged on the door again. "Open the door. Right now!" I could hear something on the other side. It sounded like shuffling. Heavy furniture perhaps. "You guys better not be messing things up in there. I'm not going to clean it. I mean it."
I banged on the door. "I can hear you in there! Now come on!" I put my hands on my hips and tapped my foot. "I'm waiting. Your little jokes over now." I banged on the door again.
That's when the door knocked back.
It wouldn't have scared me. I don't think. Except for the fact that I was surprised. And alone in the hall. Without any of the lights on. In a strange house. And before I could say anything else. Another door behind me knocked from the inside. "Shit. Both of you are in on this?" I grabbed the handle to the other door. It was also locked. I banged on it. "Come out right now. Max?"
But then a third door started knocked from down the hall. I felt my throat clump as I tried to swallow. "You guys weren't supposed to have anyone over." The knocking didn't stop. It kept echoing down the hall. "I'm not getting paid for three kids you know?"
Tat-tat-tat-tat. Tat-tat-tat.
I took a single step. And then all of the doors in the hallway suddenly started banging.
I almost tripped as I ran toward the stairs. The doors were thundering on so hard I thought they would crack their hinges. I skipped the stairs, the sounds chasing me as I tried to not fall and break my neck. When I got to the front landing I hear someone say my name.
"Camilia. Are you okay?"
I'm trying not to choke on a lung here as I shot my eyes toward the kitchen. The kids are sitting on the barstools lining the counter. There are two plates in front of them. As if they didn't hear the drumline upstairs.
"Is it dinner time yet," one of them asks quietly.
"Max?"
He smiles.
"Kids. I think there's someone in the house." I rush over to grab each of their hands. Bobbie's wrists are limp but it was Max's hands that shocked me. They were ice cold. I tried to let go but my fingers wouldn't uncurl.
He turns my hand over and says, "There's no one else in this house except us. I promise."
"No," I wasn't about to listen to the kid even if it was his house. "Something is wrong. We have to go. Now." I pick up Bobbie and he doesn't seem to want to move. "Come on Bobbie. Let's go." He looks over at Max who shrugs and get out of his seat.
Bobbie follows as I drag them toward the front door.
"Camilia," Max says.
"What?" He looked scared. Which made me turn toward what he was staring out. At the front door was a tall figure. I couldn't see its face through the glass. It was a stark figure of a man.
"Do you think it's your dad?"
Max shakes his head. I feel him pulling against my arm.
I call out to the man, "Hey! Who is it?" The man doesn't budge. "I'm calling the police." I turn to Bobbie, "Get the phone." He doesn't move. "Hey!" I'm trying to sound as angry as possible. "Get the fuck out of here!" I grabbed a roll of painter's tape from the side table and hurl it across the hall, hitting the glass squarely in the face where the man's head stood blocking the exit. He doesn't even twitch as the glass shakes.
"Come on," I grab their hands and rush to the back. I don't get 10 steps before I feel a scream crawl up my throat making me cough. The man was standing at the sliding door. "Fuck!" I drag the two of them with me towards the kitchen. It's a big place so there had to be a way out to the garage. We push through one of the doors and end up in the laundry room. The next door gets us out into a 3 car garage. My hands find the glowing green opener against the wall and I hear the opener fold seamlessly towards the ceiling.
It started with his feet. Then his ankles. His shins. Then his legs. Light poured in from behind him from the streetlamp. I watched as the door went to his waist before I hit the button for the garage to close, before rushing back inside. We make it into the kitchen to where I still see the tall man standing at the sliding door. A part of me wants to hide in the laundry room but I didn't want to be sandwiched in the middle of the house. So I pull the boys back up the stairs, back to where the doors banged themselves. Taking out my phone as we ascended, and called 911.
"This is the police operator speaking."
"HELLO", I hope they could hear me, "There are several men trying to get inside!"
"Men? Are you in any danger?"
"No! But they have us surrounded!"
"Why don't you go outside?"
My tongue suddenly felt numb in my mouth. Like I didn't know what to do with it. "W-what?"
"It's stranger in the house."
The line went dead as we hit the hallway.
I only took my eyes off of them for a second before Bobbie. Or Max. Runs down the hall. The one or the other already slipping through a door ahead. I look back down the stairs and see that the man is still standing in front of the doorway. I look back up and see the other boy also going through the same door. I take a single step and the doors start pounding on either side. I shut my eyes and turn around. Afraid to go. Almost deciding that these weren't my kids. That I should run away. I take a step backwards mouthing that I was sorry. But I was too scared to go! "Max! Bobbie!" My back foot sticks to the floor. I don't want to look down but the next step sticks too. I point my phone to the ground and see a trail of blood. And just behind me. It's the dog. Split right down the middle, its spine shiny and white, still facing the wall. I could see its organs still pulsing.
I couldn't go back downstairs. I couldn't go the other way. I couldn't leave them here. I couldn't be alone.
I ran after them. The thundering of the doors following me as frames fell to the floor. A vase rolled off a table in the hall. It came crashing at my feet. I run my shoulder through the door, except it wasn't locked. Which caused me to go crashing, sprawling to the floor. Running into the desk in the middle of the room.
The study.
Many of the books were off the shelves. The carpet was torn. There were curtains on fire. It was the first time a saw a window as they burned.
"Camilia!"
I hear one of their voices shouting at me.
"Camilia!" It came again. "Help!"
I get to my feet and start working my hands along the desk. I didn't have to search far. The bookcase directly behind the chair had been swung open. "Camilia!" I wipe the blood from my eyebrow where it had split and step into the tunnel behind the secret passage.
The tunnel started off tall and wide, but as I kept walking in. It got smaller and smaller. I started having to hunch. Several times I decided to turn back. But their voices would echo through, calling for me. Asking for help. "I'm coming!"
"I can't hold on! Camilia! Please!"
The twins cry for help bounced off the walls. I was finally on my hands and knees when I finally see two holes on either side. I'm afraid to look but then one of their voices came through clear as day. "Camilia." It was right in my ear now. I turned to see the boy naked and huddling, hugging his knees at the back of his hole.
"Camilia! Help! I don't want to play this game anymore!"
"Bobbie?"
"Help me!"
I look into the hole, the walls are pressing on my back and there's dust going into my lungs. I can barely turn my shoulder. "Crawl out!"
"I can't!"
"Crawl out! I'm right here." I take out my hand, "Come on!"
"Camilia!" Came a voice from the other side.
I turn my head and see Max in the other hole.
"No!" Bobbie shouts at me. "No!"
"Hold on," I tell him. "I'm going to get both of you out of here."
"No," Bobbie cries. "It's all his fault. He's the one that did it. He's the one that wants to get out!"
"Bobbie, what are you talking about."
"He's the one that put something in your drink so you'd fall asleep!"
"He's lying!" Max's voice rang through. "It's him! I saw him. Always in father's study! Reading those books! Trying out those things he reads. Those curses. Those spells. It's why the shadow men are after him! Camilia! You have to believe me."
I can hear Bobbie crying, "Why are you lying! I don't want to play anymore," he screeches. "I don't want to play!" He sobs. "You said you'd go away if I told you that I didn't want to play anymore."
I don't know what made me do it. It sure wasn't the nauseating squealing tantrum of the boy which made me reach for him first. Maybe it was because I wanted him to shut up. I don't know but I plunged my arm up to my shoulder in to grab his collar.
Instantly I screamed and saw tiny spiders, short thing legs with round white backs crawl over my arms. I shook my arm in the hole, trying to smother them against the walls. That only caused these long brown flat slugs to fall. I saw one land on my hand. It had three distinct tendon-like lines running across its back and was about a half inch long. I pulled my arm out of the hole as I felt it pierce its flat head into the back of my hand. I dropped my phone and heard it crack as the light splintered in the small, suffocating tunnel. But I didn't care as I looked at my hand and saw it burrowing its tiny spearhead below my skin. I grabbed at the wiggling tail still exposed and tried pulling it out.
It was like trying to pull our barbed wire. The spines on its body were facing me. So with each pull they dug deeper inside. I could see blood pooling under my skin, it was starting to turn purple as I tugged on its tail even harder. Until it gave. Popped right off and lay twitching in my hand. The head missing.
I couldn't take it anymore. Really. I had tried my best. I shake my head. "Bobbie. Bobbie. I'm sorry." But it didn't matter. When I looked over at Bobbie. He was covered in it. All of it. Even the spiders.
My jeans started shifting as I tried to wiggle myself out of there. But I hear Max's cry again. "Camilia! Please!"
"No," I whimpered. Shaking. I couldn't reach my hand in there again. But his voice was so scared. More scared than the pain I felt.
I shot my arm inside. Bracing. Waiting for the pain. But there was none. Instead my hands grasped around his collar and I felt his cold clammy skin, and yanked him from the hole. He came without much struggle. His face covered in the soot of it all. "Camilia," he cried. "You picked me. You did it."
I didn't have the heart to tell him that I almost didn't.
"Come on," I cried. "We. Have. To go."
The two of us wiggled our way out of there, crawling on our hands and knees, and running when we could. We finally make it back into the study. And the fire is roaring now. One of the books fall from the shelves and when it hit the fire I swear it started screaming. There was so much smoke that I couldn't see. And the door was covered by the flames.
I pointed to the window, the curtains on the floor in ashes. I kick the window. It didn't budge. I coughed. I kicked it again. The glass shook. I kicked it again and my foot went through. Pieces of the glass still hung in the frame, I use the tips of my fingers and pull them back. They fall to the floor cracking until there was a hole big enough for me to get through.
I plunge my head out and take my first breath of fresh air. The moon was full and the sky was clear. I could hear sirens coming off in the distance. When both of my feet were on the roof. I reach my hand back and grab Max from the burning house. Together we run across the clay tiles and climb down the arched tree. The red fire truck comes screeching to a stop as several firemen help us down.
One of them pushes a breathing mask on me, and wraps me up. The neighbors are outside, and the police arrive. I see a familiar car come roaring down the street, screaming to a halt as Molly runs out. Her face is flustered and she's shouting. Pushing through the cops until she reaches me next to the ambulance.
"What happened," she literally screamed at me.
"I'm so sorry," I tell her. "There were these men." I take another breath. "I couldn't do anything! B-but I saved Max! I saved him!"
She looked at the house. It was blazing now in the cool night. "Oh my god. Is Bobbie still in there?" Molly starts to cry. "My baby!"
"Max. But Max." I cough. "Max is okay!"
And she turns to me. I wasn't expecting her to be grateful. But there's anger on her face. "You didn't save my son. But you saved our dog?"
I shake my head. "No. Max. Your other son." I looked around but he was nowhere to be found.
​
s

Omnivoracious Listeners New Music Newsletter (Week of June 3rd):
New LPs:
🇬🇧 Aeffect - 'Theory of Mind' (Genre: Death Metal)
🇬🇧 Akilla - 'The Gods Have Spoken' (Genre: Melodic Death Metal)
🇺🇸 A Man Named Onigumo - 'Ingested Torment' (Genre: Brutal Death Metal)
🇩🇰 Anubis Gate - 'Interference' (Genre: Prog Power Metal)
🇬🇷 Aran Angmar - 'Atavism & Dying Stars' (Genre: Black Metal)
🇫🇮 Atlases - 'Between the Day & I' (Genre: Post-Metal)
🇺🇸 Avenged Sevenfold - 'Life Is but a Dream' (Genre: Heavy Metal)
🇺🇸 Beach Fossils - 'Bunny' (Genre: Indie Rock)
🇺🇸 Ben Folds - 'What Matters Most' (Genre: Alt Rock, Power Pop)
🇺🇸 Ben Harper - 'Wide Open Light' (Genre: Folk Rock, Blues Rock)
🇺🇸 Body Stuff - 'Body Stuff 4' (Genre: Indie Rock)
🇦🇺 Body Type - 'Expired Candy' (Genre: Post-Punk, Garage Rock)
🇺🇸 Bongzilla - 'Dab City' (Genre: Stoner Metal)
🇺🇸 Buckcherry - 'Vol. 10' (Genre: Sleaze Rock, Hard Rock)
🇺🇸 Buggin - 'Concrete Cowboys' (Genre: Hardcore Punk)
🇺🇸 Bully - 'Lucky for You' (Genre: Alt Rock)
🇺🇸 Burnt Skull - 'Daylight Mutilation' (Genre: Industrial Metal)
🇪🇸 Cabaret Aberrante - 'Brutalofilia' (Genre: Death Metal)
🇷🇺 Cadaver Carnivore - 'Devouring Eclipse of Darkest Realm' (Genre: Death Metal)
🇮🇩 Cadavoracity - 'Cadavoracity' (Genre: Brutal Death Metal)
🇷🇺 Chernaya Rechka (Черная Речка) - 'Chernaya Rechka (Черная Речка)' (Genre: Indie Rock, Post-Punk)
🇺🇸 Chip & the Charge Ups - 'What Happened to the Boy Next Door?' (Genre: Power Pop)
🇺🇸 Coffin Prick - 'Laughing' (Genre: Art Rock)
🇦🇺 Cold Irons Bound - 'No Place I Can't Find You' (Genre: Alt Country, Power Pop)
🇬🇧 Comedy of Errors - 'Threnody for a Dead Queen' (Genre: Prog Rock)
🇬🇧 Comet Gain - 'The Misfit Jukebox' (Genre: Indie Pop, Indie Rock)
🇩🇪 Cosmic Burial - 'Far Away From Home' (Genre: Atmo Black Metal)
🇨🇦 Cowboy Junkies - 'Such Ferocious Beauty' (Genre: Alt Country, Folk Rock)
🇦🇺 Dan Cribb & the Isolated - 'I'll Follow You Anywhere' (Genre: Skate Punk)
🇺🇸 Dead Billionaires - 'Disaster Preparedness Coloring Book' (Genre: Punk Rock)
🇮🇹 Death Dies - 'Stregoneria' (Genre: Black Metal)
🇮🇩 Demented Heart - 'Frantic Epidemic' (Genre: Tech Death)
🇵🇱 Dieth - 'To Hell and Back' (Genre: Death Thrash)
🇺🇸 DiGelsomnia - 'Sic Itur Ad Astra' (Genre: Doom Metal)
🇬🇧 Dog Tired - 'The Red Verse' (Genre: Groove Metal)
🇺🇸 Don't Sleep - 'See Change' (Genre: Hardcore Punk)
🇳🇴 Einar Solberg (Of Leprous) - '16' (Genre: Prog Rock, Prog Metal)
🇫🇮 Endless Exam - 'Voice of Passion and Agony' (Genre: Pop Metal)
🇮🇪 Extranauts - 'The Alchemist' (Genre: Psych Rock, Electronic Rock)
🇩🇪 Fjoergyn - 'Judasmesse' (Genre: Symphonic Black Metal)
🇺🇸 Foo Fighters - 'But Here We Are' (Genre: Alt Rock)
🇨🇦 Frankiie - 'Between Dreams' (Genre: Indie Pop, Dreampop)
🇺🇸 From Those Ashes - 'Dush Descending// Dawn Ascending' (Genre: Melodic Death Metal, Metalcore)
🇨🇱 Funeral Fullmoon - 'Unholy Kingdom of Diabolic Emperors' (Genre: Black Metal)
🇯🇵 Galileo Galilei - 'Bee and the Whales' (Genre: Indie Rock)
🇺🇸 Gal Pal - 'This and Other Gestures' (Genre: Indie Rock, Shoegaze)
🇺🇸 Geist of Ouachita - 'Imprisoned in the Graven Wood' (Genre: Black Metal)
🇺🇸 Generationals - 'Heatherhead' (Genre: Indie Pop Rock)
🇬🇧 Gloryhammer - 'Return to the Kingdom of Fife' (Genre: Power Metal)
🇺🇸 Gorgeous - 'Sapsucker' (Genre: Math Rock, Post-Punk)
🇮🇹 Graveworm - 'Killing Innocence' (Genre: Symphonic Black Metal)
🇺🇸 Gringo Star - 'On and on and Gone' (Genre: Psych Pop, Surf Rock)
🇪🇸 Halflighted - 'Obloquy' (Genre: Death Doom)
🇨🇦 Half Moon Run - 'Salt' (Genre: Indie Rock)
🇺🇸 Heldscålla - 'Two Cathedrals' (Genre: Stoner Doom)
🇺🇸 Hellwitch - 'Annihilational Intercention' (Genre: Tech Death, Thrash)
🇲🇹 Hemplifier - 'The Stoner Side of the Doom' (Genre: Stoner Doom)
🇦🇹 Hills Like White Lions - 'Meander' (Genre: Prog Metal, Post-Metal)
🇬🇧 Hugh Sheehan - 'Shapes That Are Different' (Genre: Indie Folk Rock)
🇷🇺 Infiltration - 'Cognitive Warfare' (Genre: Death Metal)
🇦🇺 Isua - 'Abandon' (Genre: Sludge Doom)
🇺🇸 Jake Shears - 'Last Man Dancing' (Genre: Glam Rock)
🇺🇸 John Mellencamp - 'Orpheus Descending' (Genre: Heartland Rock)
🇩🇪 Karbholz - 'Kapitel 10: Wilde Augen' (Genre: Indie Punk)
🇺🇸 Kiltro - 'Underbelly' (Genre: Post-Rock)
🇮🇹 Klidas - 'No Harmony' (Genre: Experimental Rock)
🇦🇺 Kodiak Empire - 'The Great Acceleration' (Genre: Prog Rock, Experimental Rock)
🇺🇸 Koningsor - 'Death Process' (Genre: Hardcore Punk, Metalcore)
🇳🇴 Kvad - 'So Old' (Genre: Atmo Black Metal)
🇬🇧 Lanterns on the Lake Version - 'Versions of Us' (Genre: Indie Rock)
🇺🇸 Leathürbitch - 'Shattered Vanity' (Genre: Heavy Metal, Hard Rock)
🇺🇸 Lightning Strikes Across the Sky - 'Cosmopolis Macabre' (Genre: Black Metal)
🇺🇸 Lonestar - 'Ten to 1' (Genre: Country)
🇬🇧 Lost Under Heaven - 'Something Is Announced by Your Life!' (Genre: Psych Rock, Indie Rock)
🇺🇸 Louise Post (Of Veruca Salt) - 'Sleepwalker' (Genre: Alt Rock)
🇺🇸 Lovelytheband - 'If We're Being Honest' (Genre: Indie Pop Rock)
🇳🇱 Man as Plague - 'Titanomachy' (Genre: Deathcore)
🇺🇸 Messiahvore - 'Transverse' (Genre: Sludge Stoner)
🇩🇪 Minas Morgul - 'Nebelung' (Genre: Black Metal)
🇮🇳 Moral Collapse - 'Divine Prosthetics' (Genre: Prog Death)
🇸🇪 Mörkvind - 'Höstbränder' (Genre: Folk Metal)
🇺🇸 Mountain Echoes - 'Rebuilding' (Genre: Indie Rock)
🇺🇸 Necrofier - 'Burning Shadows in the Southern Night' (Genre: Melodic Black Metal)
🇬🇧 Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds - 'Council Skies' (Genre: Alt Rock)
🇯🇵 OCEANS - 'SEE YOU' (Genre: Indie Rock, J-Rock)
🇺🇸 OK Goodnight - 'The Fox & the Bird' (Genre: Prog Rock)
🇬🇧 Order of Decay - 'Mortification Rites' (Genre: Blackened Doom, Death)
🇯🇵 Organic Call - '夢泳ぐ鵠の行方' (Genre: J-Rock)
🇨🇦 Owls & Eagles - 'Patience Vol. 1' (Genre: Psych Doom)
🇺🇸 Pagan Athletes - 'Landlocked' (Genre: Noise Rock)
🇺🇸 Primordial Doom - 'Doom Rising' (Genre: Doom Metal)
🇨🇦 Priors - 'Daffodil' (Genre: Punk Rock)
🇺🇸 Project: Roenwolfe - 'Project: Roenwolfe' (Genre: Power, Thrash Metal)
🇺🇸 Protomartyr - 'Formal Growth in the Desert' (Genre: Post-Punk, Gothic Rock)
🇺🇸 Prydain - 'The Gates of Aramore' (Genre: Symphonic Power Metal)
🇬🇧 Pupil Slicer - 'Blossom' (Genre: Mathcore)
🇺🇸 Purr - 'Who Is Afraid of Blue?' (Genre: Indie Pop Rock)
🇩🇰 Quiet Sonia - 'QS' (Genre: Chamber Rock, Chamber Folk)
🇺🇸 Rancid - 'Tomorrow Never Comes' (Genre: Punk Rock)
🇺🇸 Reckless Son - 'Reckless Son' (Genre: Folk Rock)
🇨🇦 Red Cain - 'Näe’bliss' (Genre: Prog Groove Metal)
🇺🇦 Risin Sabotage - 'Macabre' (Genre: Stoner Rock)
🇺🇸 Rival Sons - 'Darkfighter' (Genre: Hard Blues Rock)
🇮🇹 Rod Sacred - 'Another Day' (Genre: Heavy Metal)
🇬🇧 Ruen Brothers - 'Ten Paces' (Genre: Folk Rock)
🇦🇺 RVG - 'Brain Worms' (Genre: Alt Rock, Post-Punk)
🇳🇴 Saint Karloff - 'Paleolithic War Crimes' (Genre: Stoner Metal, Stoner Rock)
🇩🇪 Scarnival - 'The Hell Within' (Genre: Melodic Death Metal)
🇪🇸 Scent of Death - 'Into Everlasting Hate' (Genre: Tech Death)
🇺🇸 Scoville Unit - 'See What Can Be' (Genre: Punk Rock)
🇯🇵 SHIFT_CONTROL - 'MakeMyName' (Genre: Alt Rock)
🇺🇸 Shinzon - 'Mimic' (Genre: Dreampop, Prog Rock)
🇬🇷 Slaughtered Priest - 'Bang Your Head for Satan' (Genre: Black, Thrash, Speed)
🇺🇸 Smokey Brights - 'Levitator' (Genre: Indie Pop Rock)
🇨🇦 Sorry Girls - 'Bravo!' (Genre: Synthpop)
🇺🇸 Suffocate Faster - 'This Is the Way Vol. 1' (Genre: Hardcore Punk)
🇨🇭 Superdark - 'So Far Out There' (Genre: Psych Rock)
🇺🇸 Tanya Tucker - 'Sweet Western Sound' (Genre: Country)
🇺🇸 Terry Ohms - 'Rock Songs' (Genre: Psych Rock)
🇨🇦 Thantifaxath - 'Hive Mind Narcosis' (Genre: Black Metal)
🇺🇸 The Aces - 'I've Loved You for So Long' (Genre: New Wave, Synthpop)
🇬🇧 The Alarm - 'Forwards' (Genre: Alt Rock, New Wave)
🇺🇸 The Anix - 'Nightvision' (Genre: Alt Rock)
🇺🇸 The Aquadolls - 'Charmed' (Genre: Alt Rock)
🇦🇺 The Hard-Ons - 'Ripper 23' (Genre: Punk Rock)
🇧🇪 The Immortal Samsara Travelers - 'Hanging Gardens in Glacial Apocha' (Genre: Doom Metal)
🇸🇬 The Ironfist - 'Tyrant's Return' (Genre: Black Thrash)
🇧🇷 The Kryptik - 'A Journey to the Darkest Kingdom' (Genre: Black Metal)
🇳🇴 The Mansters - 'Lessons in Giving Up' (Genre: Punk Rock, Hardcore Punk)
🇺🇸 The Rallies - 'It Must Be Love' (Genre: Power Pop, Jangle Pop)
🇺🇸 The Revivalists - 'Pour It Out Into the Night' (Genre: Alt Rock, Roots Rock)
🇬🇧 The Royston Club - 'Shaking Hips and Crashing Cars' (Genre: Indie Rock)
🇺🇸 The Stools - 'R U Saved?' (Genre: Punk Blues)
🇺🇸 This White Mountain - 'Icons of the Melancholy' (Genre: Atmo Black Metal)
🇪🇪 Thunraz - 'Revelation' (Genre: Death, Industrial Metal)
🇬🇧 Tigercub - 'The Perfume of Decay' (Genre: Alt Rock, Stoner Rock)
🇺🇸 Title Holder - 'What Better Time' (Genre: Ska Punk)
🇺🇸 Tombstalker - 'Age of Darkness' (Genre: Blackened Death Metal)
🇬🇧 Tortured Demon - 'Rise of the Lifeless' (Genre: Thrash Metal, Metalcore)
🇧🇾 Trollwald - 'Trollwald' (Genre: Folk Metal, Stoner Metal)
🇮🇹 True Sleeper - 'Loving You in Parallel Dimensions' (Genre: Shoegaze, Psych Rock)
🇸🇪 Tyrann - 'Besatt' (Genre: Heavy Metal)
🇺🇸 Unfurl - 'Ascension' (Genre: Sludge Metal, Post-Hardcore)
🇯🇵 Veiyadra - 'Amalgam in Chaos' (Genre: Brutal Death Metal)
🇺🇸 Viana Valentine - 'Fever Dream' (Genre: Indie Pop Rock)
🇺🇸 Vide - 'The Parish' (Genre: DSBM)
🇺🇸 Void Ov Nihility - 'Above the Stars of God' (Genre: Death Black)
🇺🇸 Vörst - 'Burn the Priest' (Genre: Black Metal)
🇺🇸 Vulture Feather - 'Liminal Fields' (Genre: Post-Punk, Indie Punk)
🇺🇸 Water Damage - '2 Songs' (Genre: Drone, Experimental Rock)
🇺🇸 Weep - 'Life in Shades of Grey' (Genre: Post-Black Metal, Post-Hardcore)
🇸🇪 Writing the Future - 'Caught Between Heaven & Hell' (Genre: Metalcore)
🇬🇧 Wytch Hazel - 'IV: Sacrament' (Genre: Hard Rock, Heavy Metal)
🇨🇳 噬湖 - '茫茫集' (Genre: Folk Metal)
New EPs:
🇺🇸 American Nightmare - 'Dedicated to the Next World' (Genre: Hardcore Punk)
🇫🇮 Blåådpalt - 'Caedite Eos' (Genre: Death Metal)
🇪🇸 Boneyard - 'Ghoulish Tunes' (Genre: Death Metal, Grindcore)
🇺🇸 Evelyn Cools - 'Wilder Mind' (Genre: Folk Rock, Folk Pop)
🇬🇧 Damim - 'World Turned Hell' (Genre: Prog Black Death)
🇬🇧 Hallan - 'The Noise of a Firing Gun' (Genre: Punk Rock)
🇺🇸 Joan Jett and the Blackhearts - 'Mindset' (Genre: Hard Rock, Power Pop)
🇬🇧 King of the Dead - 'Perdition' (Genre: Alt Rock)
🇺🇸 Lacerated - 'The Beauty of Agony' (Genre: Death Metal, Punk Rock)
🇺🇸 Laniidae - 'Episodes: I-V' (Genre: Metalcore)
🇨🇦 Moving City - 'Snacks' (Genre: Indie Rock, Pop Rock)
🇫🇮 Omnium Gatherum - 'Slasher' (Genre: Melodic Death Metal)
🇩🇪 Peace of Mind - 'Life Long Tragedy' (Genre: Hardcore Punk)
🇺🇸 Queen Kona - 'All Hail' (Genre: Metalcore)
🇬🇧 Simulation Defect - 'Within the Threshold' (Genre: Prog Tech Deathcore, Djent)
🇦🇺 Surprise Chef - 'Friendship' (Genre: Funk, Jazz Fusion)
🇸🇪 To Descend - 'Mindless Birth' (Genre: Death Metal)
🇺🇸 Ukko's Hammer - 'Toil' (Genre: Crossover Thrash)
🇺🇸 Uncured - 'My Design' (Genre: Prog Death, Groove Metal)
🇬🇧 Visions From Beyond - 'Portal to Inertia' (Genre: Death Doom)
🇺🇸 Wretched Hallucination - 'Self' (Genre: Stoner Sludge Doom)
🇺🇸 Young the Giant - 'Both Sides' (Genre: Alt Rock)
New Remixes:
🇺🇸 A Place to Bury Strangers - 'See Through You Rerealised' (Genre: Post-Punk, Noise Rock)
Another big week to kick off the month! And I had the extra time to actually get ahead on the spreadsheet again! (You can see this in the server) Hope you find something great!
https://discord.gg/V5fZ38KSCY
If you see this message and have a release/know of one I haven't added, DM me on whatever platform you're on!
Happy Listening!

When I was a child I used to wake up coughing in the middle of the night and then throw up from the coughing. It happened almost nightly if not nightly. Even though I don't remember a lot about my early childhood, I remember this and this has been confirmed by my entire family. I was taken to the doctor, and according to my mother he said there was nothing wrong and that my airways were just too narrow (??). My mom tried to eliminate fatty foods from my dinner so I wouldn't vomit, and later she tried having me eat my (light with no fatty food) dinner early and not right before bedtime, but nothing helped. At that age I also had really bad motion sickness where I would also vomit every time I took the bus or went by car, even though my mom would give me motion sickness med before I went out. I had a designated vomiting bucket near my bed and my mom would usually wake up as soon as she heard my breath changing in my sleep (I assume it's wheezing) so she could "help" me vomit (making sure I vomit in the bucket and not all over myself, get me water to drink etc) then I would cough, be out of breath and vomit. That lasted for years, but eventually it stopped. The motion sickness induced vomiting continued until I was about 9 though.
Over myself now: I was never diagnosed with asthma, although I have always thought I had some minor breathing system related issues. I have some shortness in breath and taking deep breaths sometimes leaves a burning sensation in my chest. I'm also not best athletically and never were. Attempting to run or do any exercise is really heavy on my heart and lungs, and as I grew up it kept getting worse. I experience chest tightness quite often, but I've always blamed it on my anxiety and depression. I still have motion sickness but it's more manageable especially with meds like cinnarizine. This year I started taking the antidepressants escitalopram and bupropion. My parents were heavy smokers growing up and would smoke at home. As an adult, I have tried to smoke recreationally once or twice but failed miserably. When I tried to inhale what I was smoking it hurt a lot and resulted in me coughing hard. I don't vomit nearly as often. I have vomited due to coughing twice this year; the first time the coughing was induced by crying and the other time I was coughing due to a cold.
Extra context: I've never vomited voluntarily or induced vomiting on purpose. I've never had an eating disorder. I became chubby around the age of 5 or 6 but was skinny before that and generally healthy. I had a non-restrictive middle eastern diet as a kid and my parents made sure we ate well. Non of my 3 older siblings had experienced similar symptoms, even the motion sickness.
I'm still trying to figure out what caused the coughing in my childhood in the first place and if it could've been caused a physical condition I still have now. I also wonder if it could have been a psychological symptom of something else, similar to bedwetting, but I doubt it. I would really appreciate your insight on this.

Wondering if anyone may have some insight....
I have long suspected poor thyroid function (chronic fatigue, anemia, extremely dry skin, difficulty keeping weight down despite calorie restriction, cold all the time, muscle pain, depression, super slow heart rate).
I recently did bloodwork indicating that my TSH has gone from 1.92 to 2.32 since it was last tested a couple years ago but is within normal range still. I have low alkaline phosphatase, low red blood cell count, high mean cell volume (MCV) and high mean cell hemoglobin (MCH). My free T4 and T3 are also normal.
Is there any way this is indicative of hypothyroidism? Will be discussing the results with my doctor in two weeks but am wondering in the meantime if this is definitive proof that my thyroid is fine, or there's a chance that I still could have a thyroid issue.
Thanks in advance for your help.

I've had an interesting idea about the effect that distant celestial bodies have on Tyraskäth, my fantasy world orbitting a pair of binary stars, and its people. Of course, I am not talking about the Suns themselves or its moons have, but the other planets in its system as well as distant stars. Basically, how astrology works.
Even I as an aspiring astrophysicist who has heard astrology jokes more often than I could count have to admit that the basic concept of astrology sounds quite neat, even if it's wishful thinking at best, and that early astronomical achievements likely wouldn't have been made if it weren't for stargazers trying to predict some noblemen's fortune by looking at the positions of planets and stars in the nightsky. Thus, I wanted the sky to have a more profound and tangible effect on my world.
In particular, I want to address stars, the type of celestial object that I am the most interested in. In particular, this idea concerns a special class of stars which the scholars of Tyraskäth, at least in Eastern Aviir, refer to as Ritual Stars or Ceremonial Stars.
​
Stellar Astrophysics Renaissance
The setting of my world is largely reminiscent of pre-modern times (vaguely similar to the Renaissance period), but a few scientific disciplines such as mathematics, physics and also astronomy are a bit ahead of their time. This is in part due to the binary Suns, which define the world's calenders and allow for more precise measurements of orbital parameters of both the Suns, Tyraskäth and the other planets in the system, and the denser stellar environment (while fantasy, the universe resembles ours at least on interstellar levels, beyond that is up for speculation, so the system could be in what we'd consider an open star cluster) where even stellar motions can be noticed and tracked over sufficiently long timescales of years or decades, depending on their distance (at least with telescopes, which also exist at this point).
For a long time, astronomers and natural philosophers considered stars highly enigmatic objects exceeding human comprehension. Unspeakably bright and, they were often considered to be of purely divine light, although them being physical objects as well has become a widely spread theory early on, as it can easily be proven that they have a great mass by studying the motion of the Suns. Therefore, it was not far fetched for scholars to ponder their nature. The stars in the night sky were sometimes believed to be different from the Suns, but telescopes allowed the resolution of a third, more distant Sun from a bright red star into a small bronzen disk. A Sun, yet far more distant, and thus other stars might be just like this. Though why do they shine, and why do they have different colours?
Ularios was a great mathematician, astronomer, philosopher and artisan living in the great metropolis of Kareiah (a sort of Konstantinople counterpart), and was a scientific assistent to the Imperial Court Astrologist and Astronomer of the Sainic Emperor Zhavatios I. One day, he visited the great smithy of the Imperial Palace to place an order for a stable mounting for instruments to measure the motion of the planets as accurately as possible. There, he observed the blacksmiths forging the swords for the Emperor's personal guardsmen, the Tralkya Guard. As the dark steel was heated by flames of the forge, it soon began to glow in a dim red, which then turned into a sultry orange, a saturated yellow and finally a glistening white. Not only did it change colour, but increased in luminosity the hotter it became: while the initial red glow could barely illuminate its immediate surroundings in a dark room, the bright white of the nearly molten metal would be painful to look at even from afar. This reminded him of the two Suns. The Golden Sun is brighter than the Copper Sun. Naturally, he thought, as the Golden Sun is larger. A campfire is brighter than a torch, which is brighter than a candle, and thus a large star shines brighter than a small one. However, the correlation between the area of the Suns' apparent disks in the sky and their brightnesses was not a linear one. Instead, the Copper Sun was dimmer than it should be based on its size alone, which means it must be intrinsically dimmer. Perhaps, he thought, much like how incandescent and nearly molten iron is much brighter and hotter than dimmly glowing red iron, the Golden Sun was hotter. And thus, he put together his early theories of stellar astrophysics.
Pondering the (cosmic) orbs...
For years he looked at stars, bright and dim, near and far, of all colours in all parts of the sky, mapping them and naming many, trying to describe their nature compared to the two Suns he would see each and every day. He measured and compared them, trying to derive relations and mathematical equations to describe them more precisely. Red stars would be dim and small (he did not yet know what red giants are), white stars bright and large, and the two Suns somewhere in between with their white-gold and bronzen shine, respectively. He theorized that stars are, essentially, made of molten metals, specifically of Godsmetals (these are basically very rare, or very hard to impossible to obtain metals and natural alloys of those, including Black Boreal Steel) heated up beyond their melting point and thus glowing accordingly. What was below those oceans of liquid metal he did not know, but he believed those inner shells to be home to incomprehensible, equally wondrous and terrifying processes of thaumaturgy, alchemy and the pure energy of creation and destruction (if you think about it, he's not so wrong about that part...). "Stars are the sparks forming when the hammer of the Gods is struck upon the anvil as worlds are being forged", he wrote in his book called On the Nature of the Heavens, which did cause a fair bit of controversy among his peers as well as political and religious figures of his time (it should be noted though that among his first supporters was, in fact, a religious order). The metal the Golden Sun would thus be forged from is not gold, but another metal that melts at a similar temperature as iron or beyond, whereas the Copper Sun could indeed be made from copper, but ironically also from gold, but likely from no metal that is known to men. Interestingly, metals melting at higher temperatures would form larger stars, a phenomenon he did not completely understand and attributed to either thaumaturgical or not yet understood properties of these metals.
What about the blue stars?
When iron melts, it glows at with a whitish light that only becomes more luminous. Therefore, pure white stars such as Cyndra (as opposed to white-gold ones) are thought to be the hottest stars, made from metal withstanding much greater heat than iron. However, there are a few stars, even bright stars, in the sky that did not fit in the spectrum of glowing metal: Ramail, Zarul, Areph and the majestic Tura, all of which have a strong, blue hue to their splendour. Ularios could not explain why the stars would look this way. Blue was associated with the cold and winter, so do these stars burn with cold flame? Or perhaps their flame is even hotter, or just fundamentally different?
For many centuries or even millennia, blue stars have been associated with magick and the supernatural. Thaumaturgical rituals and religious ceremonies of different cultures often take place when asterisms of bright blue stars are high up in the sky or when a planet occults a blue star. Whenever this happens it is believed that the effect of the ritual is amplified as the Veil, or Curtain, that separates the physical from the spectral planes is particularly thin during such events, and powers from beyond can be called upon and manifested with greater ease by the rare Thaumaturgists and Mantists of many cultures (keep in mind though that open practice of thaumaturgy is still incredibly rare, and most people never witness it).
Later Thaumaturgists such as Valkaz from Starikaz (Sainic: Valokos), who often have rich knowledge on the sky above, deduced through their meditation in Dreamstriding that blue stars must be much brighter than even white stars, and that they are the result of the immense magickal energy within their cores dissipating and vaporizing the surrounding metal, exposing their heart of pure Thaumic energy as pure fragments from cosmogony. Here, the three metaphysical planes would converge.
Belief Shapes Reality
So, long story short, astronomers think that blue stars are weird because iron can't glow blue from heating it up, concluding they must be magickal, which Thaumaturgists (wizards but cooler) and religious entities adopt as well and have for a long time, thus affecting the local metaphysical barrier and literally making it true to a degree.
The stars are not made of literal liquid metal btw. That would be very cool, but it's too "fantastical" for what I have in mind for my universe. At least up to an interstellar scale, this universe is similar to ours. But there is nonetheless no shortage of weird, fantastical and eldritch things.
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Very long text I know, so I THANK YOU if you've read through it and haven't left. Highly appreciate it and would love to hear what you think!

Long time lurker, first time poster in this Sub. My Fiancé (27 M) and I (27 F) have been together 7.5 years (engaged for 6 months) and I am currently 16 weeks pregnant with my first, a boy, due in November. From our “celebratory times” post engagement my family jokingly says.
I could write a novel on all the B.S we’ve gone through with JN but I’ll try* to keep this short for the sake of this post, but this is years of crap and abuse so I apologize in advance if this gets long and out of sorts. Maybe some day I can post specific examples/stories of all the shit she’s done.
She was wonderful for about the first year or so, then when she saw I was someone serious she changed her tune about me. She’s a typical Narc who see’s me as stealing her “perfect Angel boy”, whom she treated as her surrogate husband post divorce (divorced when Fiancé was 8 as a result of her cheating amongst other things). She’s a serial boundary stomper. I’m the one who is “behind” my fiancé manipulating every move he makes and every word he says, because she can’t fathom that her baby boy has a mind and will of his own to do what HE feels is right!
My fiancé is wonderful and has the shiniest spine, and has told her off many times and had even moved out of her house (immediately, I’m talking overnight here) and went NC for about 3 years when things reached an incredibly ugly point (around 2017/2018). Within the last few years he has tried going LC with her but it still results in issues and problems because she cannot control him, his life, relationship and is not the perpetual center of attention. However the last few months he felt she was changing, as she was reaching out to his sister (21 F who is also NC with her for a ton of despicable reasons on JNMIL part as well) which he felt was a positive sign. Mind you SIL has not felt comfortable with any of her “attempts” and does not want to have a relationship with her at this time for all the abuse she has put her through and rightly so! IMO most of her attempts were public grabs for attention, to be able to say “see I tried!” and not genuine acts from her heart. They’ve all been public displays like showing up to her college sports games uninvited, leaving oversized signs staked into her lawn, leaving gifts on her porch and notes on her car etc. None of her notes have held any sort of accountability/apology just the good ole “God doesn’t want us apart. Family is everything, Mommy loves you” VOMIT.
My fiancé does want to have a relationship with her but is still somewhat conflicted. He is trying to be the biggebetter person and give her a chance because he doesn’t want to live his life with regret towards this of any kind. Which I understand but I just can’t get past. I’m sure it’s easier for me to feel and hold onto as she’s not my mother, but the amount of abuse she has put my fiancé and SIL through and even myself I cannot forget.
Now onto to my question/concern. I personally do not want her to know anything about my pregnancy, maybe even a little after the baby is born. My fiancé says it doesn’t really affect me that much because I don’t have to see her and talk to her (which I don’t thank GOD). However I don’t want her to think this is opening up gates for her to do so. I know she would just treat me like an incubator and try to “butter me up” and act fake nice in order to try and worm her way close to my child. I’m afraid we’ll go the rest of my pregnancy with her attempts and hearing about how much she’s “changed” just to have big problems erupt when baby is born because she’s not going to be allowed in the hospital or to see him right away (which I’m not even sure if I want my own family there during or immediately after). We could try and set boundaries all we want to but I know for certain she doesn’t believe they apply to her and she’s entitled to do/say whatever she feels. She would always state that she’s the “queen” because she’s his (fiancé’s) mother and deserves special treatment and when I’ve asked about my own mom and the special treatment she deserves she tells me it’s not the same and she doesn’t matter… OKAY. This woman has stated to my fiancé and I quote “I’M top dog and she’ll get to be top dog when I’m DEAD” referring to how she’s the top person in Fiancé’s life and I can have that spot over her cold, dead body. Like what the actual F? So reasoning with her on boundaries is not exactly easy or in the question.
Personally I don’t want to let her in on my pregnancy or anytime close after. For my own peace of mind and sanity. Fiancé is afraid she will find out through mutuals that we’re expecting and doesn’t want her to blow up about it, or be mad because she didn’t get told sooner. I’m on the side of I DON’T CARE how she finds out, I want to have a stress free pregnancy and PP away from her. I’m afraid if he lets her in now she will gain all these delusional expectations about our relationship and her relationship to LO. So I’d rather deal with her finding out on her own or her finding out after and still being angry. Not having to jump hurdles of her crap while still pregnant.
I’d like to add that this isn’t something fiancé and I argue about just is something we discuss our concerns over. I know if I really put my foot down and said No he would respect me and my wishes and follow along. I guess I just feel maybe as thought I’m in the wrong or just being petty and unable to to let the past go. So AITA here?
(Sorry this rambled on for so long, thank you to anyone who stuck around to the end!)