Hi mum. It has been almost 2 years since I lost you to lung cancer after you fought so ferociously against Covid-19, pneumonia and Multiple Sclerosis. The fact you are no longer with me still pains me immensely every day because you were a core component to my life before.
​
I wanted to tell you a few things that have happened since you left this realm to join the Gods wherever you may be.

1. I have finally got a cat after I promised you I would in honor of our ginger cat who passed 11 months before you did. Her name is Yogi, she is a black cat and is an incredible companion. I'm sorry I never told you he passed away. It would have broken your heart even more and I couldn't risk further complications because you were so frail. I hope you can forgive me for that.
2. I moved last July into a better home where I know I'm safe. You have a small shrine that I set up in my room where I have a few of your trinkets and crystals that you have given me over the years. I hope it's comfortable and you're ok with Yogi jumping up to say hi sometimes.
3. I am currently in bereavement counselling to help me manage. I am not doing this to forget you or move on in the traditional sense, I just need a neutral space with a professional to help me understand why I feel the way I feel. It's difficult going through all those emotions again but I know you would have wanted me to try and get help eventually.
4. I am hoping to carry on your legacy with Neil and Dirty Stop Outs Guide because I believe that if you were still here, you would have encouraged me to pursue it after I finished college in 2016.
5. I am over 500 days sober from any form of self injury/harm and I intend to keep that number ticking up. I promised you at your funeral that I would never do such actions ever again. I intend to keep that promise.

And lastly for now... I love you so much, words can't fully let me express how sad I am that you passed on and I miss you... I hope the cats, Aunt Lynn and Great Grandad are keeping you company while you watch over me and the family. Please rest tonight knowing I have made it another day alive and well.
From your baby bat. Always will be...

So a brother of mine is helping me write a story surrounding a world where all he gods of mythology run a civilization that keeps humans safe from the world ending events of their mythos.
The main cast of the story is an original mythos me and him came up with together. But this post is about the magic system of that story. It's based on both belief/divinity and the stories of these gods that have been told.
What are your opinions on this kind of system?
Tldr: Magic system is based on stories. What do you think I should do to improve it?

With the way Ivan Barabsev is playing I REALLY want to resign him assuming he is gonna get somewhere in the range of 6mil for 4 is my best guess for a contract. But do we even have space for him. Capfreindly says we have 3 mil in space.
thoughts

Hey everyone, glad to be apart of this community and hopefully can contribute to this community in other ways soon.
I’ve recently taken on comp sci and am so excited to start working towards this degree. So I was wondering if you guys and gals can give me any advice on going through this and what to expect. I have no experience at all with comp sci, programming, etc. No matter how small or big the advice is just shoot it to me. Also tell me some of your personal experiences! Pm me or say it on the thread it doesn’t matter!
As far as my personal questions. Being I have no background in this field, what are some apps, software, reddit communities, etc. that will help me on this journey? When should I start applying to internships? How is the tech industry holding up as far as all the layoffs and such?
Thank you so much and like I said I hope to keep y’all updated through the journey!

I'm currently contemplating cutting my parents off for a bit and I'm struggling with the guilt I'm feeling around doing it.
Gonna give background bc reddit is anonymous so buckle up:
I was sexually abused by my older sibling from the ages of 10-12. It stopped because at 12 I told my mum, not really understanding what was happening, but knowing it shouldn't be.
My parents gave me a choice then about what I wanted to do: go to the police or have us both go to therapy and move on. I honestly didn't understand why they were both so upset at the time and I didn't want anyone to get in trouble so I said the therapy option. We both had 2 sessions and it wasn't mentioned again for several years.
I never processed what happened to me as a child or how I felt in that, I managed to push down the memories with self harming and pinching myself, to the point I don't have a clear recollection of those 2 years of my life anymore. I refused to acknowledge it to my friends and it was never mentioned within the family until I was 16.
The only reason I mentioned it at 16 was because I had a meltdown after hearing my brother playing his guitar really loudly, by that point I had developed musical "hallucinations" of faint guitar playing even when he wasn't there which I now understand to be flashbacks. I went in and told him to turn it down as I was becoming increasingly agitated (I also have autism & ADHD) he laughed at me and told me to fuck off. Usually this happens and I'd just leave, but for some reason in that moment I flipped out and started screaming that he ruined my life and he just laughed and I lost it, I tried to strangle him with his guitar whilst screaming that I hate him until my dad came in and physically dragged me off him, taking me outside. I was inconsolable and asked my parents to kick him out, they obviously said no, so I left to go stay with friends. This was the first time we acknowledged this in 4 years.
Once I had let this out I confided in my CAMHS (child mental health) worker about the trauma, the musical hallucinations, the self harm and the fact I wanted to not live. She got me in touch with social and then youth services to help me find somewhere else to live.
My parents were annoyed by this decision of me to leave, but refused to have my brother to move out, so I was placed into a homeless hostel for my own protection and peace of mind. They maintain to this day that I was never kicked out and chose to leave off my own accord.
I stayed there for about 4 months, it was a horrible dangerous place for a 16 year old quiet nerdy kid, I quickly grew hostile and developed a drug problem for a while. Then my brother moved out so I returned home to live with my parents.
Around this time my mother's alcoholism, pill dependencies and mental health issues also really began to intensify, but I did end up staying there for just shy of 2 years. I was no longer the sweet top of class nerdy kid and was now a college dropout, with severe depression. My mum would routinely scream abuse at me whilst blackout drunk also. Still I was determined to fix things so at 18 I re-enrolled in college to finally get my A Levels despite my dad's anger about this (he wanted me to work and pay rent) and I stopped using the drugs I was on. Life was starting to slowly get back on track.
Until about 2 months later, a week or so after I turned 19 when my parents informed me my brother had fucked up his life again and was moving home in 4 days.
I pled and protested with my parents that 4 days does not give me time to find somewhere else to live, they got angry at me for dredging up the past and being unfair on them and my sibling. My sibling also sent me abusive messages calling me names because I was making them feel bad.
So with no other real choice I found myself homeless and sofa surfing, sleeping with guys for places to stay etc, until I made it up the waitlist for the local YMCA hostel. My mates that I stayed with for most of it lived over 20 miles away so I was unable to get to college and flunked my A levels. I was kicked out of college shortly after I moved into the YMCA.
My family eventually "forgave" me for my behaviour and got back on speaking terms. All the while I'm living in hostels & unsafe situations. The next 5 or so years are a traumatic mess to be honest, I ended up an alchoholic with multiple suicide attempts, so much trauma, an eating disorder, further traumas and assaults by the unsafe people I lived with and an apathetic attitude towards living. My mother also was a big drain on me over that time, exhibited narcissistic behaviours, triggered me with food and on one holiday scratched herself up and tried to convince me I did it while she was drunk, I actually did cut her off for 3 months after this till we both got sober, but reconnected with her due to pressure from my dad.
Eventually in 2021 when I was 25, after a pretty serious suicide attempt and psychiatric admission I realised I was an alcoholic and joined AA and there I started to get well, for the first time in my life.
AA really saved me from myself and helped me get my life back on track, at this point I had my own place and a decent job and started trying to make something of myself and be a better person, which has been working well, but the one thing I never addressed in any of that was the trauma.
I still had to see my brother throughout the years due to parental pressure and as such had sort of siphoned off my trauma and had a disconnect to it and I thought that was working.
Unfortunately earlier this year I spiralled into a major depressive episode, I remained sober, but even the best of programs couldn't hold the suicidal ideation at bay. I ended up in a psych ward this time for 5 weeks. It was terrifying to be in a place where my life was on track, yet I still felt so disgusting and hopeless I didn't want to live. Although I still wasn't fully ready to admit that my trauma is what brought me that point. Despite daily flashbacks, self harming behaviours and nightmares of the abuse where I was at fault. I had it so compartmentalised and was keen to look for any other cause other than that.
My dad came to visit me after I'd been there about 2 weeks and informed me that my brother isn't doing well and I need to make more of an effort to see him. For the first time in my life I attempted to put a boundary in place and said that actually I don't think I should be seeing him ever again. Dad asked me "Is this because of the stuff that happened when you were kids?" And I responded "Do you mean the reason I keep ending up in places like this, no matter what I do?" And that was the first time I ever verbally acknowledged that this trauma was at the route of everything.
We spoke at length for several hours, my dad explaining that they always chose him because I'm capable while my sibling is a fuck up. I said I'm not coping. I'm literally in a psych ward? He said that he put me on a life raft while he helped my sibling and I said you didn't put me on a life raft, I went to a fucking YMCA. After that he heard me for the first time and semi acknowledged that they'd made some wrong moves and said he'd speak to mum about what to do moving forward so I don't have to see my brother again and can finally unpack this immense trauma in therapy.
That conversation opened the flood gates while I was in hospital and I was diagnosed by my psychiatrist with Complex-PTSD and assigned a trauma therapist. I was absolutely broken having finally admitted the guilt and shame I've felt my whole life, but at the same time felt some hope, that I can finally move on.
Until a week or so later when I spoke to my mum and mentioned the conversation with my dad, she said he had never spoken to her. She seemed uncomfortable and bored when I spoke about uow it has affected me and asked how it would make my sibling feel if I stopped seeing him. When I relayed it explaining how dad finally started to acknowledge how difficult it has been when they chose my brother over me, she stopped me and angrily/defensively stated "I have to stop you there. I person have NEVER chosen anyone over anyone." At this point I shut down. I ended the call and fell into a deeper depression hole that the nurses took weeks to pull me out of.
A few days before my release I saw my dad and I brought up the situation asking what's happening with it and he and mum had any conclusions around me not having to see sibling and he snapped and dismissively said "What do you expect me to do about it? I think the best thing is if you just move on and not dwell on stuff." Again I shut down and once again the batton was passed back to me to hold.
See that's what I've been doing my entire life. Carrying it so my family don't get upset, excusing my parents, excusing my sibling, justifying them. I've carried this burden, the blame, the self hatred and it's nearly killed me so many times. I just don't want to do it anymore. To carry it for them.
I got out 3 weeks ago and have slowly been returning to life, my parents barely contacted me for a week after I got out and I was supposed to be putting inplace boundaries, but felt too bad/missed them too much. They haven't asked how I am or how I'm feeling, because they don't want my answer. My mum ended up booking this weekend away just the two of us, but I ended up feeling this overwhelming sense that I shouldn't be going away with her, especially whilst I'm barely well again and I said I'm not ready for an overnight. Naturally I've got the usual silent treatment from her. I just feel so guilty, but again it's brought up all of this.
It's like my gut is screaming at me CUT THEM OFF, but I'm scared and I love them, even if they are toxic. I'm hesitant to unpick in therapy and scared I'm just going to go back to denial. Every person I've spoken to has suggested I cut them off for at least a few months, just while I focus on therapy and finally processing the trauma. I'm just so scared to do this. I want my parents around and I want them to love me, but they just can't do that in the way I need and I'm really scared of hurting them.
At the same time I know I NEED to put myself first and work through this, I think I need to let go with love, just for a bit.
Sorry this ended up being miles longer than expected, if anyone's read to the end of this misery, do you have any advice or words of encouragement, or alternatively if I'm being unreasonable please let me know. I just want to get this right, because right now I'm just sick of hurting.

Hello everyone and thanks for checking this post out. I have recently upgraded from a 2080 Super to 6900XT Red Devil Ultimate and would like to keep using my SF Ledex VI 1000w Plat (blk connector). My set up for my 2080 was to run a single cable from the PSU to the GPU which has a Y at the end with two 8pins at the end, which was enough to fill the power connectors on the GPU. The 6900XT however has 3 8pins. Now the kit that comes with the PSU has 3 cables that are the same as the one I used for the 2080 which Y at one end. I want to make sure I am getting enough power to it but I am a little worried about just leaving the ends of the Ys hanging in my case. Will there be any issues with this set up? I can't find any custome cables that work nor can I find connectors (9pin "Super Connector") to make my own.
I tried ordering cables from cablemod but their compatibility list leaves a lot to be desired. I should have read more and looked at the EVGA PSUs they say are the same but you live and learn. Hopefully I can return them...
TLDR: is it ok to run a 6900 XTX chip off of 3 cables that Y on the GPU end and just hang out in the case?

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I'm very picky when it comes to movies and TV. In the last ten years, I've genuinely liked less than ten shows. I have loved far fewer.
Starting with the pilot, I loved this show.
I think season 1 is practically perfect.
Season 2 gets dragged down a bit by the whole prison storyline being kinda pointless, outside of foreshadowing. It's not bad foreshadowing either, it's just that the show spends a lot of time on something that probably could have been conveyed in two episodes or less instead. But season 2 develops Darlene and Angela, and introduces Dom... it's all still amazing, it just feels less focused.
Season 3 feels to me like how season 2 should have. Like season 2 it suffers from still feeling a little murky and unfocused. At many points in season 2 and 3, tbh, it could be argued that there wasn't a completely solid reason for the show to keep going. I'm glad it did, it just feels like they meander some.
Season 4. When it first aired, it felt off-putting to me for a variety of reasons, but mostly due to feeling like the show had just flat out cheated in places, and also due to there being SO MANY unclosed plot threads. None the less, i shrugged it off, and just told myself that I was probably imagining some of them due to poor memory etc.
Over the next year, I watched the entire series three times through, and season 1 along with some various other episodes too many times to count. This is not something I do with anything else. I never rewatch stuff that isn't twin peaks or community. OR this show.
But 2 months back, something reminded me of the scene before Angela's death in S4E1. Something about it was bugging me, and so I started the episode, watched it closely, and I felt kinda duped. The direction and performances and production quality are all great as usual, but suddenly there were major issues i started noticing things that are very hard to reconcile with the accepted explanations given by the show and this community as a whole.
In fact, I see two possibilities regarding the truth about this show:
(A) season 4 tells us 1 story at the surface level but that is just there obfuscate the truth
Or
(B) season 4 is a badly written and conceived collection of 13 episodes, despite the direction, production quality and performances all being uniformly amazing.
What makes this suck, is that if it's actually option B, it actively makes everything before it worse - especially seasons 2 and 3 - due to so much of the show being taken up by TONS of stuff, that according to the show and also this subreddit, doesn't matter, never mattered, and why would you even think that mattered, what is wrong with you, you stupid stupid question asker. After all the show tells us everything explicitly point blank in the finale.
Also, if you almost die in a nuclear plant meltdown that you avert from happening, but there is still an explosion and a fire that knocks you unconscious, when you come our of your coma you can be 100% CURED of your mental illness! As long you explain things to your alters nicely, they will finally understand and absorb themselves back into your consciousness so the real you can come out of hiding.
That last part is pretty representive of the issues I couldn't NOT notice this time around. I don't feel like the show we watched prior to S4 ever would have done something like this. I know Esmail has said this was always the plan, but man, for all the people on here who have a meltdown every time someone even mentions a question that falls outside the shows official Canon, or dares to mention anything "sci-fi" - how do you square THAT circle? Because, even though in wish to God it did, as someone very close to me suffers from schizoaffective disorder, mental illness just DOES NOT work that way no matter how hard you cried at the end. Honestly, time travel would have been more realistic and grounded than this. And don't dare try to say "it's just a TV show" or whatever if you are also one of the ones who get mad when sci-fi type elements or other possible interpretations get mentioned. Sometimes I feel like some of the people here, as well as Esmail, are trying to actually freaking gaslight anyone who think the finale doesn't really add up.
Angela's death and the moments that lead up to it, are also very strange and nonsensical in their execution. Why would Price agree to wear a fucking wire so White Rose could listen to him talk to her, tell her WR is a delusional psycho, and that she should really just let it go and move on - just to see of she buys it or not so WR knows if he is going to have his goons, who Price knows are like ten feet away, kill her. WHY WOULD HE DO THIS? And when did he agree to it? And why wouldn't he just write something down for her to let her know what is really happening so that he could get her to safety? Is Price just stupid suddenly? And why would Angela go from wanting retribution on moment to 30 seconds later just standing there as they shoot her in the back? And for that matter, why is WR, who for 3 seasons is calculated and meticulous and keeping everything on a perfect schedule, suddenly so sloppy and petty and obviously evil?
White Rose's whole character changes some in season 3 as well, but dramatically so in season 4, and not in any sense for the better. Up until this season, it was easy enough to believe she was possibly evil, but she was definitely principled and focused and you felt like there was ambiguity to her. S4 drops that entirely. She might as well put on a twirling mustache and laugh maniacally every time she is on screen with the exception of the two scenes in which she speaks to Elliot - in those scenes she seems sincere and empathetic, but due to the overall changes, we know that she is just trying to manipulate him. Or something. The last confrontation between her and Elliot makes no actual sense in many ways, but one of the things that really got to me was that SHE WAS RIGHT about Elliot, and Elliots response to her was just childish and dumb, not showing even a slight capability for reason or making a coherent argument against her.
And okay, the goddamned machine. If it didn't matter, and it never mattered, and people really should stop asking about it already because that's not what the show is about, stupid - then why does it need to be stopped? If it didn't work, then it poses no real threat outside of a nuclear meltdown, right? The plant is what needs to be shut down, not the machine. But Elliot went to infect the machine with malware to disable it. Disable it from doing what? If the machine is immaterial to the "REAL" story because it's a delusional fantasy that never could have worked anyway, and the only danger it poses is causing the meltdown, then why does Elliot go to infect her machine? He mentions that she wants to destroy the world to her. How? With ONE nuclear power plant melting down? And why is it such a problem that people feel that we should have been given answers to these questions? Elliot apparently knows what it does, and he also seems to think it's dumb, but he he goes there to disable a machine that doesn't work in order to keep it from doing something it never could do.
Better question - why was WR waiting for Elliot with the full brainwashing suite all set up for him? He wouldn't have gone if Price hadn't asked him to, to honor Angela, he says. But it must have been a setup somehow, because WR knew he was coming, and started running the machine long before he arrived. WR casually says that this process was never about brainwashing.
I find it funny the things that some people here will cherry pick facts over. In S2E11 most of the true believer types think everything that WR says is bs, EXCEPT for when he tells Angela that young Angela's bruises were fake. They accept this statement as absolute truth, despite WR seemingly brainwashing an entire army to kill themselves without hesitation any time something goes wrong or she says to. But clearly there is no chance she was lying about the seemingly abused girl sitting in front of a desk with a very deliberately placed copy of Lolita on it.
In that same scene, WR tells Angela Pont blank "it was not a coincidence that you and Elliot became the people that you are after the incident at the WTP". But, you see, she is lying in that part, because it makes the ending we got seem less complete. I would say that finding out whatever the hell that incident even was around be far more informative and useful than 10,000 revelations about being molested.
The episode before that is where Darlene talks about being kidnapped, right before Angela is kidnapped. These parallels either mean SOMETHING, or the show is possibly bad
The molestation reveal is a dumb twist in an actually otherwise great episode. I have now read 2000 and 1 reasons why S4E7 is the best episode of all time, and honestly, I get that it emotionally connected with a ton people, but I really don't see how this information changes anything about the story or characters for the better. And not to mention having Vera pushing the whole thing is pretty convoluted, and Vera's reasoning makes less sense even than leaving a computer game that allows your nemesis to shut down the project that is your life's work for no reason even though without that you technically win and also you shoot yourself because of faith or something.
Vera's return overall felt hack and unneeded for the story in S4, but the fact that they brought him back just to awkwardly facilitate a therapy breakthrough that, and I'm sorry I don't want to hurt anyone with my words, but a therapy breakthrough that I personally feel is another lie. When I look at the scene in S3 where Edward collapses, and the conversation they are having, and try to listen with this information in mind - dude, either the show is lying, or maybe the show is just bad. Because that scene is just STRANGE beyond human comprehension for me.in this context. It's so casual. It sounds more like something you might hear between two old, adult friends who got too drunk the night before, and one of them took advantage of the other. This does not sound like a conversation between an 8 year old and his father who it seems must have very recently raped him. I mean, Elliot acts like this just happened in the scene. And what kind of father apologizes for rape like that? I know there are people here who say this is a carbon copy picture of what this situation really looks like. Maybe it is for them, but as someone with some experience in this matter myself, I guess my picture is just a different one. And okay, fine, I can accept it could be like this for someone out there, but I just don't feel like it was the right choice here. The previous understanding that they were talking about Edward never getting treated for the cancer that kills him seconds later made much more sense to me. And besides, I don't know why we needed to know that anyway - because the show isn't really about that anyway, and you don't need answers for everything, right?
Honestly, the subtext of the show, I will agree, does point to Elliot being sexually abused. Just not by his father. It also points to both Darlene and Angela being abused as well, due to the Lolita references throughout the show. Now, I do think Elliot could possibly be blaming his father for what happened to him, but considering Krista is the least developed, most NPC like character in the show, I don't really trust that she is actually trying to help Elliot have a breakthrough - but that she is repeating the proper keywords to trigger this cover memory.
People will say that this is absurd, but WR KNOWS ABOUT THE SEXUAL ABUSE, as evidenced by the strategically placed copy of Lolita and her speaking to Angela as though her and Elliot were a package deal. There was no need for WR to mention Elliot at all. But she does, and draws explicit parallels between the two of them. The copy of Lolita, the abused young Angela, both point pretty clearly to sexual abuse. Darlene straight up uses the title charactes real name as her own alias. This is a lot of characters having been SA victims, so it seems to me that its all connected. Unless Edward was just the sweetest most prolific pedo in town, I think it's more likely something else happened, or at very least, others were involved. That would make 4.7 an episode that tried really hard to convince the audience of something that is just another layer, another obstraction to decipher. Or it's what the shows says it is and it just feels kind of lazy and insipid.
Look, first several times through, I didn't think any of this. It was only on this recent rewatch, after two years of not thinking about the show that I started noticing these things. After I had my theories I ended up here, and some of the cope I read from people here just blows my mind.
I honestly feel that the indoctrination rooms WR speaks to Elliot and Angela in seem to clearly be crafted in a very specific manner, not to brainwash Elliot or Angela, but to trigger the programming done to them as children. WR pretends that he doesn't know anything about Angela is that scene, but the book is right there. The girl is a double of her child self at the exact age the 'incident' is said to have occurred. Either these elements are purposeful and have meaning in the story, or in my opinion, this is just bad writing. Creating 20-30 intriguing mysteries with symbolism and suggestion and carefully crafted moments, only to toss them all and say they were all red herrings and none of them mattered, you freaking suckers, at very least, shows a lack of respect and maybe even contempt for your audience. The specific references to some of this stuff are too numerous to count. Oh, and that's not how red herrings are supposed to work, you don't spend hours of screen time filling the screen and story with hundreds of little 'clues' to mysteries you aren't even sure are mysteries yet. It makes no sense. All the meticulous crafting of scenes and moments and all the detailed set work, and the specifically framed shots clearly being used to tell the audience to pay attention to that stuff - all of that was just to fux with the audience so they wouldn't guess esmails masterminded secret that no one has ever done before of SA from elliots father, and the fact that the character we know as Elliot is actually another alter created by Elliot that imprisoned Elliot in his own mind , that is literally called the MasterMind. And wow, does that ever sound dumb when I type it out.
Why woulf Eliot create an alter like MasterMind specifically to not know who mr. Robot or his father or Darlene or a ton of other people were, but made sure MM knew who Angela, Krista, and his coworkers were, in addition to how to hack anything, oh and also program in his addiction to Morphine. I mean, if you were creating an alter with intention, and the intention was to create a dark antihero superhacker version of yourself, and you could edit out things like who your sister was, what your father looked like, etc - you know, a slick more focused version of yourself, wouldn't you edit out the crippling addiction? The show says more than once that MM was only born a month ago, so it was Elliot assisted by Mr. Robot that created Fsociety? I thought that made sense for a moment, that Elliot freaked out and created MM when he realized his goals were probably going to have collateral damage no matter what he did. So, then he would create MM, his comic book alter, and put himself in the loop so he wouldnt have to deal with the consequences and memories that were sure to come if they pulled the plan off. But then, when Mr robot pulls who were told is MM back into the fold of the hacker alliance, all MM does is fight him on it every step of the way. Not to mention it makes no sense to edit out Darlene, mr. Robot, etc if MM is meant to work with them.
I'm not saying that Esmail is lying, or that the reality the show sold you is definitely not the one it believes it is depicting - it very well be just as the show and so many insist that it is - exactly what the show explains. Nothing more, nothing less. What I'm saying is that if these are the 'real' answers, the show is providing these answers to questions that are different from the ones the show has given us. In other words, the show is actually, much to my dismay and chagrin, actually very badly written and conceived.
Now if MM was an alter programmed into Elliot when he was a child and triggered into life like a sleeper agent by the dark army in order to carry out this plan as a sort of secret weapon...this is strongly suggested by the moment in S1E4 where Mr. Robot in the monopoly mask gives a mask to Elliot and tells him - "It belongs to you now. Made in the Orient. Made just for your head. Now find your monster and turn the key." The whole show makes more sense through this lens. I never noticed it upon my first several viewings somehow - and this was my favorite episode for a long time, ive seen it the most of all. But once I saw it, I couldn't shake it. His father, as the elder statesman of fsociety, seemingly, passes the mask/torch to his son, says it was made just for his head in the Orient, and hands him a key and tells him to find his monster, which the show now tells us is actually MM. If MM was a programmed alter, designed to focus and use Elliots "rage" so many other things fall into place. They trigger the alter as designed, but it's Mr. Robot, the manifestation of his memories of his father that they did not account for. Mr. Robot is antagonistic towards MM because he knows what MM is and that the consequences he is there to bring about will probably lead to elliots death. It's possible, in this context, that Krista is probably sent specifically as a handler for MM, to monitor him and keep him from discovering his true origins, which would likely end badly for WR because they know what they created and what he is capable of. I would also add that in this version, I would surmise that MM was actually "born" a long time ago, but he was placed in the loop and lived there for years. In the loop, Darlene does not exist because as robot loop Krista explains to MM, not Elliot, that removing Darlene from the loop was their best chance at trapping him (elliot prime) here. She doesn't say it was Masterminds best chance at trapping him there, she refers to a they. It is implied it's the other alters she is referring to - but they don't seem to be taking responsibility for creating MM or the loop, and I see no reason why they would be lying to each other about that. It makes more sense if it was the brainwashing programmers she is referring to, and that they created the loop and then MM and then placed MM there. By having this alter living this loop for years, when he was switched on, he immediately tries to seek what he lived in there for all those years - a job at allsafe, a relationship with Angela, and a world without the Washington township plant (which was removed because being the place his brainwashing originally took place, it's presence might trigger him and wake him up too soon, just like Darlene, which backfired, to say the least). Those things really do kind of belong to MM, he lived that loop for so long. Think of the loop in this instance as training of sorts. I can only assume they would have updated the loop periodically as well, to keep MM himself somewhat up to date so that when he is triggered he would recognize certain people, such as Tyrell, who would have been given a 'monster' of his own, placed in that same loop, as well as Angela, but I think Angela's programming failed "you were supposed to be dead 90 days ago" or whatever WR tells her. She seems to swap with a colder, more monster like persona at times, but it's unstable. For a bit at the end of S1, the presence of her father seemed to trigger her. But it glitches or loses control leading to her Think about that - they wouldn't need to supernaturally share the same 'world' they would just all need to be on the same software revision. Once the Monster alters are triggered, they seek out to change the world they see into what they had in the loop - what does this vicious Tyrrell seek? Power, to be the head of e Corp, filled with so much rage, because of what he doesn't have in this world that he had before. Joanna seemed to be more his handler than his wife, and she seemed to know exactly what was going on with both tyrell and Eliot. This version of event explains these things that the show just kind of drops.
Now, I Cannot prove any of that. And the text of the show explicitly contradicts it, but this is the only way I can make thus stuff make sense. Even the ending where in the current Canon he pretty much just decides to not be mentally ill anymore, in this version that would make so much more sense, as he isn't curing serious mental illness through heroism, he is breaking the bonds of his programming. Which, hey, isn't a perfectly grounded concept either, but it's actually more grounded than the alternative.
Sadly, this does not fix the biggest problem with S4 - well, two problems, actually -
1 - the entire premise of the majority of this season - the magical hack they do that somehow bankrupts a 100 billionaires via 2factor phishing like some fuxing 4chan goblins. Many people have pointed out - no billionare would have that much in liquid assets in any single bank account. Period. The entire IDEA of what they claim to steal is not even connected to how things work. Every hacking scene in this show has been brilliant until this. What's worse is that I don't eve understand how this is supposed to stop WR - they wiped her checking account so now she can't buy ice cream for the deus group on the way home? Kidding. But, seriously, compared to everything the fans came up with and everything that came before, this was boiler plate, brainless writing. It doesn't make sense on any level, tbh. So, the idea is that WR is gonna kill Elliot once the project starts "shipping" (must be one hell of a FedEx box) - also, why couldn't she just rebuild a new one there? Nevermind, doesn't matter, I forgot - so, the plan is to steal ALL ZE MONIES, so she can't pay the shipping fees, thereby stopping her from killing them for a little longer? What next? Stalk WR who is somehow poor now, and have tyrell pay her to let him beat her up now and then? If anything WR would just recover in a week or so and kill MM in the meantime. The whole concept of this is asinine and truly below the shows high standards and possibly even below trash level network tv mystery of the week stuff. S4 is already pretty far outside of grounded, sorry believers.

1. The finale seems to me to be missing a major component that I feel was meant to be there throughout Angela. The scripts for season for absolutely stink of frantic rewrites to cover for something. It's pretty obvious what happened here - Portia left the show. They should have recast Angela, but I respect that Esmail tried to roll with it, and make it work without her character - it just feels like that is what seasons 1-3 were heading towards, Elliot, Angela, Tyrell and Darlene all united to fight back and take back control - but originally they would have been plotting to take down the machine itself.

I cannot prove this, to be fair. And I'm probably wrong, but it would have made so much more sense.
But what about the other stuff? If my ideas are so much better, why didn't the obviously more talented people behind the show do that instead? Portia leaving the show can't account for that. And you're right. But something else happened in the lead up to season 4s preproduction that might have just made the whole idea of an underground cabal of secret elites suddenly unpalatable to USA, and possibly to Esmail himself - a little thing called Pizzagate.
Rumors of the pizzagate scandal, leading to crazy people extremists threatening the employees of a small WASHINGTON Pizza joint. It would just look like the show was feeding conspiracy fires. Hell, in the same position I might have done the same thing. And sure, I might be getting the details wrong, but seriously, the story being told in at very least S1 and S2 matches up with this far better than what we got. It matches up with the ultimate ending and the MM reveal as well. This version, go ahead and tell me I'm crazy, but this version absolutely answers all the questions, except for the details of what the machine did. I think it probably was a massive control matrix of sorts, perhaps something that merged parallel realities with this one (not all that sci-fi at this point), it would have been tied to whatever happened to these kids, and it would have been the true source of White Rose's power. They would have banded together, finally realizing who they really were, and they would have destroyed the machine, and WR would have still pulled that trigger, but for different reasons. What reasons would those have been? I have ideas, but that's enough for now.
Seriously, I know these ideas are likely just wrong. That none of this was ever in the plan, and this is just me trying to make sense of the show, because the version we got doesn't really make sense. And I want it to so much. Because I love this show, but if all the symbolism and mystery and surreal everything were nothing but a bunch of puzzle box nonsense that never had answers and was just there to look cool, well, if that's the case then my opinion is sadly that my favorite show was ultimately not very good, actually. There are probably even better versions Than i could ever figure out, and if it was revealed that no, the stuff that I came up with was way off, but here's the real story and the we get hit with mind blowing thing that had to be changed for reasons? That would also be awesome.
But we wont.
I don't expect anyone to read this massive novel I spit out over the course of several hours, but if anyone does, thank you. I did this largely for myself because I needed to get it off my mind. Goodnight.

I'm currently contemplating cutting my parents off for a bit and I'm struggling with the guilt I'm feeling around doing it.
Gonna give background bc reddit is anonymous so buckle up:
I was sexually abused by my older sibling from the ages of 10-12. It stopped because at 12 I told my mum, not really understanding what was happening, but knowing it shouldn't be.
My parents gave me a choice then about what I wanted to do: go to the police or have us both go to therapy and move on. I honestly didn't understand why they were both so upset at the time and I didn't want anyone to get in trouble so I said the therapy option. We both had 2 sessions and it wasn't mentioned again for several years.
I never processed what happened to me as a child or how I felt in that, I managed to push down the memories with self harming and pinching myself, to the point I don't have a clear recollection of those 2 years of my life anymore. I refused to acknowledge it to my friends and it was never mentioned within the family until I was 16.
The only reason I mentioned it at 16 was because I had a meltdown after hearing my brother playing his guitar really loudly, by that point I had developed musical "hallucinations" of faint guitar playing even when he wasn't there which I now understand to be flashbacks. I went in and told him to turn it down as I was becoming increasingly agitated (I also have autism & ADHD) he laughed at me and told me to fuck off. Usually this happens and I'd just leave, but for some reason in that moment I flipped out and started screaming that he ruined my life and he just laughed and I lost it, I tried to strangle him with his guitar whilst screaming that I hate him until my dad came in and physically dragged me off him, taking me outside. I was inconsolable and asked my parents to kick him out, they obviously said no, so I left to go stay with friends. This was the first time we acknowledged this in 4 years.
Once I had let this out I confided in my CAMHS (child mental health) worker about the trauma, the musical hallucinations, the self harm and the fact I wanted to not live. She got me in touch with social and then youth services to help me find somewhere else to live.
My parents were annoyed by this decision of me to leave, but refused to have my brother to move out, so I was placed into a homeless hostel for my own protection and peace of mind. They maintain to this day that I was never kicked out and chose to leave off my own accord.
I stayed there for about 4 months, it was a horrible dangerous place for a 16 year old quiet nerdy kid, I quickly grew hostile and developed a drug problem for a while. Then my brother moved out so I returned home to live with my parents.
Around this time my mother's alcoholism, pill dependencies and mental health issues also really began to intensify, but I did end up staying there for just shy of 2 years. I was no longer the sweet top of class nerdy kid and was now a college dropout, with severe depression. My mum would routinely scream abuse at me whilst blackout drunk also. Still I was determined to fix things so at 18 I re-enrolled in college to finally get my A Levels despite my dad's anger about this (he wanted me to work and pay rent) and I stopped using the drugs I was on. Life was starting to slowly get back on track.
Until about 2 months later, a week or so after I turned 19 when my parents informed me my brother had fucked up his life again and was moving home in 4 days.
I pled and protested with my parents that 4 days does not give me time to find somewhere else to live, they got angry at me for dredging up the past and being unfair on them and my sibling. My sibling also sent me abusive messages calling me names because I was making them feel bad.
So with no other real choice I found myself homeless and sofa surfing, sleeping with guys for places to stay etc, until I made it up the waitlist for the local YMCA hostel. My mates that I stayed with for most of it lived over 20 miles away so I was unable to get to college and flunked my A levels. I was kicked out of college shortly after I moved into the YMCA.
My family eventually "forgave" me for my behaviour and got back on speaking terms. All the while I'm living in hostels & unsafe situations. The next 5 or so years are a traumatic mess to be honest, I ended up an alchoholic with multiple suicide attempts, so much trauma, an eating disorder, further traumas and assaults by the unsafe people I lived with and an apathetic attitude towards living. My mother also was a big drain on me over that time, exhibited narcissistic behaviours, triggered me with food and on one holiday scratched herself up and tried to convince me I did it while she was drunk, I actually did cut her off for 3 months after this till we both got sober, but reconnected with her due to pressure from my dad.
Eventually in 2021 when I was 25, after a pretty serious suicide attempt and psychiatric admission I realised I was an alcoholic and joined AA and there I started to get well, for the first time in my life.
AA really saved me from myself and helped me get my life back on track, at this point I had my own place and a decent job and started trying to make something of myself and be a better person, which has been working well, but the one thing I never addressed in any of that was the trauma.
I still had to see my brother throughout the years due to parental pressure and as such had sort of siphoned off my trauma and had a disconnect to it and I thought that was working.
Unfortunately earlier this year I spiralled into a major depressive episode, I remained sober, but even the best of programs couldn't hold the suicidal ideation at bay. I ended up in a psych ward this time for 5 weeks. It was terrifying to be in a place where my life was on track, yet I still felt so disgusting and hopeless I didn't want to live. Although I still wasn't fully ready to admit that my trauma is what brought me that point. Despite daily flashbacks, self harming behaviours and nightmares of the abuse where I was at fault. I had it so compartmentalised and was keen to look for any other cause other than that.
My dad came to visit me after I'd been there about 2 weeks and informed me that my brother isn't doing well and I need to make more of an effort to see him. For the first time in my life I attempted to put a boundary in place and said that actually I don't think I should be seeing him ever again. Dad asked me "Is this because of the stuff that happened when you were kids?" And I responded "Do you mean the reason I keep ending up in places like this, no matter what I do?" And that was the first time I ever verbally acknowledged that this trauma was at the route of everything.
We spoke at length for several hours, my dad explaining that they always chose him because I'm capable while my sibling is a fuck up. I said I'm not coping. I'm literally in a psych ward? He said that he put me on a life raft while he helped my sibling and I said you didn't put me on a life raft, I went to a fucking YMCA. After that he heard me for the first time and semi acknowledged that they'd made some wrong moves and said he'd speak to mum about what to do moving forward so I don't have to see my brother again and can finally unpack this immense trauma in therapy.
That conversation opened the flood gates while I was in hospital and I was diagnosed by my psychiatrist with Complex-PTSD and assigned a trauma therapist. I was absolutely broken having finally admitted the guilt and shame I've felt my whole life, but at the same time felt some hope, that I can finally move on.
Until a week or so later when I spoke to my mum and mentioned the conversation with my dad, she said he had never spoken to her. She seemed uncomfortable and bored when I spoke about uow it has affected me and asked how it would make my sibling feel if I stopped seeing him. When I relayed it explaining how dad finally started to acknowledge how difficult it has been when they chose my brother over me, she stopped me and angrily/defensively stated "I have to stop you there. I person have NEVER chosen anyone over anyone." At this point I shut down. I ended the call and fell into a deeper depression hole that the nurses took weeks to pull me out of.
A few days before my release I saw my dad and I brought up the situation asking what's happening with it and he and mum had any conclusions around me not having to see sibling and he snapped and dismissively said "What do you expect me to do about it? I think the best thing is if you just move on and not dwell on stuff." Again I shut down and once again the batton was passed back to me to hold.
See that's what I've been doing my entire life. Carrying it so my family don't get upset, excusing my parents, excusing my sibling, justifying them. I've carried this burden, the blame, the self hatred and it's nearly killed me so many times. I just don't want to do it anymore. To carry it for them.
I got out 3 weeks ago and have slowly been returning to life, my parents barely contacted me for a week after I got out and I was supposed to be putting inplace boundaries, but felt too bad/missed them too much. They haven't asked how I am or how I'm feeling, because they don't want my answer. My mum ended up booking this weekend away just the two of us, but I ended up feeling this overwhelming sense that I shouldn't be going away with her, especially whilst I'm barely well again and I said I'm not ready for an overnight. Naturally I've got the usual silent treatment from her. I just feel so guilty, but again it's brought up all of this.
It's like my gut is screaming at me CUT THEM OFF, but I'm scared and I love them, even if they are toxic. I'm hesitant to unpick in therapy and scared I'm just going to go back to denial. Every person I've spoken to has suggested I cut them off for at least a few months, just while I focus on therapy and finally processing the trauma. I'm just so scared to do this. I want my parents around and I want them to love me, but they just can't do that in the way I need and I'm really scared of hurting them.
At the same time I know I NEED to put myself first and work through this, I think I need to let go with love, just for a bit.
Sorry this ended up being miles longer than expected, if anyone's read to the end of this misery, do you have any advice or words of encouragement, or alternatively if I'm being unreasonable please let me know. I just want to get this right, because right now I'm just sick of hurting.

the main reason is because they are not easy to tie down... you can be honest in terms of telling someone at the club "you got a nice pair of tiddies there, ma'am... lemme suck on 'em tiddies!"
Then you have someone who is more socially reticient and they are financially honest in their dealings while running their business.
Then caring... you know, you could care about that that girl so much, you could be like "I love you and if you leave me, I'll kill myself".
Then there could be the caring ex-wife, who wants to support you, even as you're struggling, recently having left rehab, yet she still keeps in touch with you, even though she doesn't have to.
I prefer strongly to allow people to fill my profile with adjectives because I trust myself to be consistent in behaviour to the point where people will most likely meet each other closely if they had to do blind descriptions of me.

As we already witnessed the gaming world keeps advancing as technology evolves. In that context, I loved how one article described: Topia was designed to represent a fresh spin on the gaming space, gaining from the strengths of its Minecraft connections while providing an assortment of engaging features that are designed to push the boundaries of the gaming space.
I started doing some of my own research and the fact is as you dive deeper into Topia, you will learn about its journey from NFT worlds, its interesting opportunities for developers, and the integral role of the TOPIA Token and the Topia Chain.
There are only two projects/games that blew my mind - Topia and MagicCraft.
When it comes to Topia, it was designed with a clear vision: to advance into the next Minecraft.
This includes boosting an environment that encourages and supports innovation and partnership among an active community of content creators and players. This incredible ethos might pave the way for developing a gaming experience that most believe is beyond Minecraft’s capabilities.
Minecraft was one of my fav games so you understand why I absolutely love Topia.
What's your opinion on this project?

Girl, 23. No one talks to me. I don’t talk to anyone but my group of Christian friends who I have fellowship with, consisting of males and females, obviously. And then I have a Muslim girl I speak with on a daily basis… that’s all. I don’t meet up with anyone in person because everyone ^ all my friends, live in a whole different state or across the world. I have no in-person friends that I could just meet with next week. I’m a person who values privacy and doesn’t share my day-to-day life online. I haven’t spoken to anyone in person who would potentially be my friend in years. When I do have in-person classes in college, I tend to make in-class acquaintances only, but none outside of class/outside of the realm of education. I don’t know if it’s because I’m not an extrovert or lack social skills or if it’s because I just so happen for some reason to be boring? Who knows, but at the end of the day, I’ve given up on desiring a man… simply because it feels like a fantasy or something out of my league. Strangely, I feel good and ok staying in this singleness lane, but there are times where I desire a man, it (that thought) just gets belittled by “I don’t deserve one”, or “I can’t even take care of myself or look good, so what makes you think you can keep up with a man’s expectations”, or “You don’t do stuff yourself, so you’re not ready” or “You act like a child, who would want a child?”
I have developed this attitude or convinced myself that if I’m gonna be single for my whole entire life (though I don’t want to… perhaps that’s a fear of mine too), then I’d have to work for myself and worry and take care of myself, pay for the bills, provide for myself, and just me me me me. My dream of a traditional woman: bearing a child, taking care and raising a child, becoming a stay-at-home mom and taking care of the house, spending time with my husband and praying together etc. would be crushed.
I don’t think I deserve a man even tho I strongly desire one. At 23, I would have expected to be married etc. but I’m here in college getting an associate’s degree that I don’t even know if I’ll use because my social skills are trash and in the job market, social skills matter. (Yes, leave it all to God, leave all your worries and let God take care of it, but it seems like there’s something wrong with me that I need to change. It feels like there’s something in my life that I need to change before God even considers the possibility of me having a man.) Again, because I don’t engage with people in-person. It’s not that I haven’t touched grass, it’s that I haven’t spoken and built friendships with anyone in person. I find it hard to approach people, let alone talk to them because I only talk about my interests and stuff no one would wanna hear. I hate small talks. I only have online friends who are wayyy on the other side of the world, and I don’t think that has the same effect.
The way I distract myself from all of this just so I don’t go into depression is by focusing on my academics.
Maybe I’m just trash…. just trash, someone that needs to be ignored and live reserved, isolated on the desert in a tiny small house.
Please no “get laid”, “you’re an incel” (even tho that term is for man), “marry your cousin”, or any other rude, disrespectful and disgusting remarks. I’m being serious, I’m being honest, so do the same. No jokes, no belittling and no disregard. I’m seeking advice and also an answer to the title question and any comments that might help.

Hello everyone, I need your opinion, I’m a green card holder and I had to file form 1 for pistol brace on April 10th because I saw that coming, we saw the Lie and manipulation from ATF director Steven dettelback on congressional hearing and later on, ATF tweeted that you have to get rid of the brace you can’t keep it, so now we got to the deadline and nothing yet from Supreme Court because it will take time, so from the date I applied until today may 30 not yet approved. I just want to ask is it normal that it’s been 50 days and no response or it’s because I’m a green card holder and not US citizen so it takes more time, Thanks in advance.

Some of the wishlist items on here I think are pretty ridiculous but something relatively simple I’d like to see added to TOTF2 would be win-loss records. That way, you can keep track of how many fights you’ve actually done in the game and it gives more motivation to win Just my 2 cents

Hey there, DAY 5!! Keep it going
It's a simple one really, I'm here if you need a place to Vent, and get things out that you want to share in a judgement free area.
I'll try and give advice where I can if it is requested but I cant do so on topics I feel I have no experience in.
My door is always open so please feel free to DM.
P.S if you have Dm'd or I've missed a response please let me know!

Hey there, DAY 5!! Keep it going
It's a simple one really, I'm here if you need a place to Vent, and get things out that you want to share in a judgement free area.
I'll try and give advice where I can if it is requested but I cant do so on topics I feel I have no experience in.
My door is always open so please feel free to DM.
P.S if you have Dm'd or I've missed a response please let me know!

To be honest, they have never done anything to gut that office in spite of callouts, even in lights of the recent news regarding massive rounds of layoffs happening across all Disney subsidiaries.
And they even sacked Perlmutter, the guy who went out of the way to play the hardline politic game against Fox until Disney merged that company. Although that was for a reason not related to this.
Also, you may cite Spider-verse comics as where they focus on the most but if you haven't known it already, this is purely done out of greed because Disney, not Sony, is the current holder of SM merch rights. See Across the Spider-verse merch? The money you pay the toy companies will be sent to the Mouse's bank account.

Here are the details:

• The documentary is 9-1/2 minutes long.
• It shows 9 minutes of never-before-seen gameplay footage of a demo from mid-2022!
• It will be uploaded to YouTube.
• Subscribers will most likely be notified when the video is made public, nevertheless, please visit our channel on and before June 1st, regardless.

In other news:

• To expand on an announcement made in the video: We pledge to blog on this subreddit once a month or more from now on.
• Furthermore, we will be uploading videos to our YouTube twice a year or more beginning this year, and our newsletter will be revived and released quarterly rather than monthly!
• The quarterly newsletter will release in July first, then October, January, and April before the cycle begins anew. We're excited to release the late-July issue!
• We began a new year-long session of playtesting, which meant that veteran playtesters either renewed or were replaced by new help.
• Sadly, the game itself has not progressed much in the last ~45 days. The team has less time to work at the moment but we have plans to hire an intern to increase productivity. My personal focus has been on activities that keep the lights on, such as collaborating with playtesters and releasing this documentary to keep our YouTube channel active. Our goal is to report much progress in a month from now to make up for this month's drought.

** (And also, do you think RLM will pour more salt on there if they ever get around to covering Andor?)**
 
Was just rewatching RLM's 2 Kenobi videos, remembered that EFAP only covered the 1st one, and spontaneously felt like making this thread lol
Jay: "I think he just figured it out cause they're- both their last names are Skywalker." Rich: "[laughs]oh that's right.. – they didn't even change Luke's fucking name..." Jay: "They didn't even change his name.
Because these- this whole thing is stupid." Rich: "JESUS FUCKING CHRIST...." Jay: "Mhm;.. and they put him on Tatooine – the most obvious place."
[...]
Mike: "He's got the paper out.. []" Rich: [laughs] Mike: ""Local farm boy Luke Skywalker blows up Death Star.".." Rich: "D'you suppose he felt like an idiot,.. - when it turned out he was on.. Tatooine the whole time, too?.." Mike: "yeah.."
 
Jay: "Well that's another thing, at the end of this, Reva knows that Luke is on Tatooine - so it's not like some big mystery.. anymore; she's probably gonna tell somebody at some point, right?.." Mike: "yeah, but, I guess Vader cannot find out - until... after A New Hope, or else, logically, he would've gone there? – and,.. scooped up his son, I guess? - and said: ..w-.. you're, with me? ..- I'm gonna teach you to be my new apprentice and.. whatever?" Rich: "This is why I don't care about star wars canon;" Jay: [laughs] Rich: "– i-.. you ca- if you cared about Star Wars canon, – it would be impossible to enjoy Star Wars.
When you watch, - when you watch the original tri-, you just have to forget, that the prequels exist, when you watch this you have to forget everything else existed.." Jay: [laughs] Rich: "- it's the only way you can enjoy this shit."
 
It's kinda ironic since Tatooine is a desert planet, however this point is of course one of the several main aspects of how the original trilogy (or even just the 1st movie) completely falls apart from a rational/logical perspective, and how any notion of there being a "canon" or a cohesive "Expanded Universe" around these movies is essentially built on sand.
And TFM types are of course really attached to those notions, along with the idea that it took Disney to start screwing things up with things that "make no sense" and "contradict previous things" - so they can try to bash them for ruining a previously solid edifice icon or something.
So I wonder how many TFMers heads exploded when they watched that 2nd Kenobi re:View video, and whether that's the reason EFAP ended up not covering it?
Cause the 1st one was just like "aww they're being too soft on this awful Disney show that makes no sense and contradicts the canon, aww they've got Picard PTSD what can you do", you know, but the 2nd one's like OHHHHHHHH FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
 
And since the way the Empire ends up closing in on Cassian in Andor because while he has been living under a fake identity (or not revealing his origin planet, to be more precise - while having told it to that brothel mistress while inquiring about his sister), but hasn't been keeping it secret within his closer circle, and, well, they could easily have skipped the whole jealous traitor step if Vader had ever thought of checking up on his remaining family members on his origin planet,
if RLM ever cover Andor, I wonder if they'll poke fun at this once more?

An Unusual Offer It wasn’t often that Blackie had anything to bark about this early in the morning, so when, at just after 8:00 AM, Johnny heard the dog raising a loud commotion outside, he knew there must be something unusual afoot. In a few moments he was out the front door. He was greeted by the sight of two men standing outside a little car parked on the weed-grown gravel driveway, speaking in what were meant to be calming tones to the dog. But it was having little effect. Blackie, a large labrador retriever with short (and fittingly jet-black) fur, did not typically react well to strangers. ‘’Here, Blackie! Come!’’ Johnny called out loudly. The dog gave Johnny a brief glance, but kept on barking. ‘’Come, Blackie!’’ he said again, trying to sound as authoritative as possible. No good. In an instant he was at the dog’s side. He had just gotten Blackie by the collar and was beginning to attempt to drag him away from the parked vehicle—not an easy task, as the black lab was more than a hundred pounds—when he heard his father’s voice saying: ‘’Now, now, Blackie, enough of your barking! That’s good, Johnny. Take him back and tie him to the leash.’’ “Hello, there! Are you John Creighton?” the shorter, and slightly heavier, of the two strangers, said. “Jim, not John,” the farmer answered, as they shook hands. ‘’You’re speaking to him.” By now Johnny had successfully led Blackie back to the farmhouse and slipped a leash onto his collar. The dog was no longer barking, but he continued to eye the strangers with suspicion. “My apologies,” the man who had spoken first said. ‘’Well, it’s very nice meeting you, Jim. My name is Morgan Stevens, and my friend here is Nathan Philips. We’re photographers, you see.’’ ‘’Nice meeting you,” the other man said. Johnny, now getting his first good look at the two men, had a rather less than favorable impression. They looked like city people, with immaculate clothing and plastered-over haircuts. In fact, he thought that there seemed something vaguely artificial about them. “Well, was is it you fellows want?” Johnny’s father asked. ‘’As I was saying, we’re photographers,” the man who had first spoken, whose name apparently was Morgan Stevens, repeated. ‘’We‘ve been doing a series of photos of cornfields. We were looking into it, and we found that you have some of the largest uninterrupted cornfields in the whole state of Iowa! We would like to ask you permission to spend a few days—a week at most—taking pictures in and around you cornfields. In fact, we’re even willing to pay you for the opportunity.” “Pay for the—well, how much money are you talking about?’’ “We’re offering $3,000 for a maximum of seven days’ photo-shooting,” the other man, whose name was Nathan Philips, broke in. ‘’$3,000?” Jim Creighton’s eyebrows raised. That was indeed a ridiculously high sum of money. In fact to Johnny, who had by this time returned to the driveway and was standing nearby, it bordered on unbelievable. Who ever heard of paying $3,000 to take pictures of a cornfield? ‘’We’d pay up front, of course,” Morgan added. “Pay up front,” the farmer repeated. Johnny knew his dad must be trying to take it all in. And who possibly pass up that much money? “‘For a week of photographing? It’s a deal,” Jim said without a moment’s hesitation. “Thank you very much, Mr. Creighton,’’ Nathan said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a check with had three thousand dollars written on it—in very neat lettering, Johnny observed. ‘’And we promise, we won’t be bothering you. Or your pets, hopefully!’’ he added with a chuckle. ‘’Is there anything we could do to make this dog stop barking at us, in case you’re not around? Is he always tied up?” ‘’Blackie will be tied up for as long as you’re here,” Jim said. ‘’What hours of the day will you be doing your photography, do you reckon?’’ ‘’Well, uh—“ Nathan paused and glanced sidelong at his partner. ’As far as that goes, I….” “That all depends on a lot of factors,” Morgan broke in. ‘’Some days we might be here a few hours, and some days we might be here all day. There might even be some days that we would be wanting to take pictures in late evening—I hope you can understand. I guess we wouldn’t want to be too close to your yard then, though! The dog there might think see us and think we were intruders. Does he ever range far from home? I mean, say, clear all the way to the other side of the cornfields?’’ “Sometimes he might, but usually only if he’s with Johnny—this here is my son, Johnny,” the farmer answered. ‘’But I can tell you up front, and Johnny, you listen up, he’ll not to go anywhere close to wherever these here photographers are taking their pictures. Now that’s a promise,” turning back to the two men. ‘’You just let me know where you’re taking the pictures beforehand, and it’ll be taken care of.” “That sounds good to us, Mr. Creighton. We won’t be taking any pictures today, but we’ll be back tomorrow with our photographing gear. Thank you again!” Morgan said as the two men got back into their car. It appeared to be one of the modern electric cars, which was the reason it had made little enough sound as to not awaken Blackie, Johnny now realized. It didn’t look exactly like a normal car, but it was smaller and somewhat boxy in shape. Throughout the conversation, Johnny had been thinking how strange it all was. Something about the men struck him as not quite right, though he really couldn’t say what that was. And when he heard his father say “It’s a deal,” he was a little perturbed. The prospect of having the two photographers hanging around the property for a week wasn’t something he looked forward to. He thought to himself that he should keep an eye on them over the next few days—or for however long they stayed. His mother, whose name was Wilma, walked out onto the front porch just as the strange black car was driving off. ‘’Now Wilma,” Jim said, holding up the check in his hand. ‘’You see this? This is good for three thousand dollars; now why in the world they wrote me a check for this much money I can’t say. But here it is. I’ll deposit it in the bank tomorrow. They say they are photographers, and that money is all for nothing more than being allowed to take photos of the cornfields! Can you imagine that?’’ He laughed out loud. “Three thousand dollars?’’ Wilma said with incredulity. ‘’That does sound ridiculously high.’ “You can say that again! I guess they must be convinced they’ll be able to make the money back in sales of those photographs of theirs! Or at least I assume they must think that—or else why would they have paid all that? But you know, we really do need the money,” he added. And that was true enough. Johnny’s father was reasonably well off as far as farmers go, but only as far as that. He had never been anywhere close to wealthy, in any event; and the last few years there seemed to have been nothing but inclement weather, from floods to droughts. It had all taken a toll on the financial situation. “I just hope they don’t go walking around in the cornfields and trample everything,” his wife replied. She was one of those people who tended to be suspicious of strangers, especially if she thought their behavior was out of the ordinary. ‘’Now, dear, I assume they’ll be just as careful as they can be,” Jim said with an effort at sounding reassuring. ‘’And again, this will do wonderful things for our bank account.’’ ‘’And Johnny,” he said, turning to his son. ‘’I want to repeat to you what I said a little earlier: you’re not to take Blackie with you on any of your traipsing through the fields, do you hear that? I don’t want you all running right into those photographers and having the dog barking at them.” “Aw, heck, Blackie wouldn’t bite anybody,” Johnny answered. ‘’At least he never has yet.’’ ‘’I didn’t say he’d bite them, but he would bark; and that’s not something I’m going to allow. They’re paying good money to be out there, and I promised them that I wouldn’t be letting Blackie anywhere near them. So now you know, too. And now son,’’ he added, “I think it’s time you were doing your chores. It’s going to get really hot today, in the mid-nineties, and you won’t want to be outside in the middle of the day, I imagine.” Johnny had to admit to himself that he did not want to be outside in the middle of the day. Already, it was beginning to feel hot and humid, as it usually is in Iowa in late June. As his parents returned inside, closing the door behind them, Johnny went to untie Blackie. A bizarre way for the day to begin! he thought to himself. So the photographers would be back tomorrow. As if there weren’t thousands of other cornfields they could take pictures of! No question about it, he would have to be keeping an eye on those men…. That night, Johnny had a nightmare. It didn’t begin as a nightmare, but on the contrary as a mere ordinary dream. The only thing abnormal was how vivid it was—it felt more real than real, far more so than most dreams are. Johnny dreamt that he was flying at night, flying under a sky a-glitter with stars like jewels, over a vast, misty sea of corn. Only it was really more like floating than flying…. But suddenly, amidst all the serenity, he felt himself falling—falling, falling, still hopelessly falling downwards. And he knew that he was headed for the cornfield and something terrifying buried beneath it; but what it was that was buried was he had no idea. He felt himself hit the ground—though obviously, he didn’t actually feel anything, since he was dreaming—and the ground itself gave way underneath him and he found himself wrapped in utter darkness. For a moment he could see nothing—literally nothing at all. And then, although he could never be certain of this when he remembered it later, he began to feel for some reason as if he were underwater, or possibly underground, but a part of the underground that was liquified, like close to the center of the earth. And he thought that the darkness became a little less so—no longer pitch black but merely extremely dark, such as it would be somewhere deep in the ocean. And then the worst part of his nightmare happened, for in the distance, he saw something huge and menacing coming, or swimming, towards him. Its shape wash very hard to make out from the distance he was seeing it from and in the murky almost-blackness, but it looked like a shark or whale; only he could tell that it was much larger than any ordinary sea animal. As it came closer, it seemed to be coming faster and faster. He could see now with horror that it was headed straight towards him at breakneck speed. He tried to turn to run or swim away, but he found that he could hardly move at all. He didn’t know how long it was before the creature had reached him, its massive jaws opened, he was swallowed whole like by suction, and then—— That was when he woke up with a start. He didn’t know how long he lay there in bed, as if paralyzed. It might have been a few minutes or a few hours. He almost felt too scared to fall back asleep again. What if he had another awful nightmare like the one he had just woken from—or maybe one even worse? It had been all so vivid, so life-like. It had felt REAL. Not like normal dreams. In fact he felt surprised that he was not dead and in the belly of a sea-monster, or earth-monster, whichever it had been. Yet eventually, somehow or other, tiredness did come back over him, and he drifted off again to sleep. He had no more nightmares, but his sleep was uneasy for the remainder of the night. He woke up fairly early, around 7:00, the next morning. Unlike as with most dreams, the memory of this one did not lessen at all over time. He still remembered it with as much clarity and vividness as when he had been in the middle of it. Once that morning his mother asked him why he seemed upset, but he brushed it off with a ‘’I don’t feel upset. What makes you think I am?” But he managed to be outside right at the time that the two photographers returned in that electric car of theirs. He wouldn’t have seen them arrive had they not chosen to park the car pretty close by—but they did, fortunately; only about a quarter of a mile from the farmhouse, in fact. Espying this from a distance, and double-checking that Blackie was tied up (he was), Johnny decided to take what he acted as if were a mere leisurely stroll right around where the photographers had parked their vehicle. As a matter of fact, he did often like to take walks along the gravel road in the cool morning hours, so this was nothing unusual for him, and his parents wouldn’t reprimand him for snooping. Or at least he hoped they wouldn’t. As he was coming closer, he kept glancing out of the corner of his eye at the men as they were unloading. And they had a lot of it. Johnny had a hard time not staring, with mouth wide open, as he saw what strange devices they had with them. They had something that looked like a big electric generator, and something else that looked rather like a satellite. A satellite?! he thought, stupefied. They also had all of what photographers would usually have: cameras, tripods, etc. But he didn’t have nearly as much time to look as he would like to have, since, after all, he couldn’t stop there on the road and stare. So he merely went along on his way, casually. But what he had seen had served to rouse his suspicions all the more. And in fact, he half thought that he had seen one of the photographers, the slightly taller one, glancing up at him with an expression that was not all the way friendly. Although that might have been his imagination. But still…. As Johnny walked on along the road, he shrugged and shook his head, thrusting his hands in his pockets. The more he thought about it, the more he thought that those men were not real photographers at all—no, they were something else. But he had no idea what. And the $3000 they had paid—to take pictures of a cornfield! made it all seem the more suspicious. There must be something else about those fields that was important to these people. His mind was filled with all kinds of wild possibilities. But none of those possibilities seemed any more credible to him. They all seemed silly. He decided that he should tell his parents about this. He thought they should know, after all, what was happening on their own property. That evening at supper, he brought up what he had seen, or thought he had seen. Both his mom and dad appeared to be quite dumbfounded. “What in the world did you say, dear?” his mom asked, as if she hadn’t heard what he had said. “Yeah, what WAS it you said, Johnny?” his dad repeated. “I said those photographers have some strange kind of cameras with them!’’ Johnny said. ‘’They have something that looked like a satellite, but I have no idea what it really is—and what they’re planning on using that for, why, I couldn’t guess.” ‘’Satellite?” his father said. ‘’Well, that does sound out of the ordinary. Do they have solar powered cameras or something?” ‘’I’ve never heard of a sola powered camera!” Johnny rejoined. ‘’Or if there is then they must have been the ones that invented it. All I know is, I saw those photographers taking it out of the trunk of their car. Right as they were setting up their cameras next to the cornfield. But it was a little bit different than a satellite; I don’t know what it actually was.’’ ‘’You’ve been spying on them, Johnny?’’ his dad said. ‘’No, I wasn’t spying. I was just curious is all.’’ ‘’Hmmm. I guess I’ll have to take a look myself,” his dad grunted, shaking his head. ‘’Johnny, I hate to say I think you may be imagining things. But anyways, there’s no question those are strange people, they are. I suppose they’ll be back tomorrow. But as I said earlier, they’ll be gone in a week at latest. And I figure we can put up with some abnormality for three thousand dollars, for a little while, anyway. But Johnny, now, I don’t want you snooping on those photographers, do you hear? Just keep your distance from them.” “Yes, Johnny, you just stay away from the photographers,” his mom repeated. ‘’Let them do what they’re going to do.’’ Johnny remained silent for the rest of that supper. He was deciding that talking to his parents, at any rate ( or for that matter any other adults), about the photographers wouldn’t do much good. But who then could he talkt to? He immediately thought of George Benson. George was the son of Jason Benson, the Creighton’s’ closest neighbor. ‘’Closest’’ being still a solid three and a half miles away; but this was the country, after all, and especially in this part of the country, people lived pretty far apart. Yes, Johnny decided, that was exactly what he should do. Tomorrow, hopefully. It was with some trepidation that he climbed back into bed, around 10 o’clock. The dream from last night was still in his mind, just as clearly as it had been this morning. He didn’t want another one like it. Although he didn’t pray much ordinarily, he prayed now, that he wouldn’t have any nightmares, that he would be able to sleep well. And perhaps his prayer was answered, for he didn’t have any nightmares. But he was restless in bed all through the night, tossing and turning, tired and yet unable to sleep. Unsurprisingly, he was somewhat exhausted when he awoke the next day. It was warm, but not hot as it had been the last few days. There was rain forecasted for the coming night, but only a little intermittent sprinkling until then. At least the rain would turn the grass greener, Johnny thought; the last few weeks it had browned considerably under the scorching heat of the summer sun. Jim Creighton went early to go and check if the photographers were back. Indeed they were; but when Jim returned he said he had seen none of that bizarre equipment Johnny had spoken of. Johnny overheard him saying this to his mom. But in any case, he said, he had asked the photographers if they had gotten the pictures they wanted yet: they replied that they hadn’t. They said it’d probably be several days yet, and during different kinds of weather and lighting, before they were satisfied Eavesdropping on this conversation, Johnny’s suspicions were growing at a rapid rate. He knew with certainty that he had seen what he had seen yesterday morning. The fact that those strange devices were no longer to be seen only made it seem all the more shady. Those men must be hiding something, but what? In fact he was coming to the disturbing conclusion that the “photographers”, whatever they really were, were running some kind of con game. But still, what they were doing out there, what their objective was, remained as mysterious as ever. All of this merely gave him all the more determination that he should go and talk about this to his friend George. Johnny knew he would be interested in the story he had to tell. It was not unusual for him to bike to the Bensons’ farm-house, anyway, so this would not seem like anything out of the ordinary. Johnny called him first on his cell phone and asked if they could meet in private in the east barn (as it was called) of the Bensons’ property. The ‘’east barn’’ was a decrepit old structure which had used to house horses but now was largely unused. They had talked there many times before. George was thirteen—about half a year older than Johnny. He agreed to it, but he sounded quite surprised at the urgency in Johnny’s voice. Half an hour later, Johnny was recounting to George everything that had happened. After hearing about it, he agreed that it did seem unlikely the so-called photographers were actually in the cornfields to take pictures. There must be a different motive; possibly a sinister one. In fact George suggested that they head over and investigate the matter, as soon they got the chance. ‘’What about it? Maybe it would be best if we went over and looked into it. Sitting around here talking about it won’t do much good,” he said. George wasn’t somebody easily afraid. He was also impulsive, even to the point of rashness. Johnny, on the other hand, wasn’t so eager. ‘’Those people could be dangerous. And what would happen if we got caught? My dad said I wasn’t supposed to to go snooping around those fellows. And he meant it, too. If he ever found out….” ‘’Well, obviously we would have to make sure that we didn’t get caught,” George answered. ‘’We would make sure the photographers (or whatever they really are) never saw us. Not even the slightest bit of suspicion. We obviously wouldn’t walk right up to them along the road; no, we’d have to sneak up on them, from inside the cornfield itself. We’re both small enough we could easily crawl along those rows unseen, I would think; and if we were really careful we wouldn’t make much noise.” “Not much noise is still some noise. And there’s another thing I didn’t tell you about yet.’’ “What?” “This dream I had the other night,” Johnny shook his head. ‘’A really terrible dream.” He told George all about it—-although he said he really didn’t know if there was any special meaning to it. Maybe it was a coincidence. Or maybe it was directly caused by the coming of those two men, in some way…. ‘’I mean I don’t want to be superstitious, but that nightmare was much more lifelike than any other dream I’ve ever had. It felt as real for me as it does right here and now. I can still see that animal’s mouth open; it could have easily swallowed several full-grown people at once. And its’ teeth, why, they were almost as tall as I am.” ‘’Hmm. But how the heck do you think those ‘’photographers” (I know they’re not actually that) could have caused something like that? Do you think they have mystical powers or something?’’ “‘Well,” Johnny said hesitantly, “I don’t know…. It seems ridiculous, I admit. But all I know is, the dream wasn’t natural. It was almost, well…” He trailed off. “Well what?” Johnny remained silent for a while, then muttered “Supernatural.” “Supernatural?” ‘’I know, I know, it doesn’t seem possible. I can’t explain it.’’ ‘ I don’t know what to tell you,” George said, shaking his head. There was silence, before he cleared his throat and went on, ‘’But like I was saying, I think we should head over to the cornfield and see what we can see. What do you say?’’ ‘’I don’t know” Johnny said uncertainly. ‘’Well if you’d rather not, that’s up to you,” George said, springing up. ‘’But I am going to go over there. Are you coming?’’ Johnny stood there a moment, silent. He now wondered whether he should even told his friend George about the matter in the first place. He glanced out through the open doorway of the barn, at the pale, gloomy gray sky. A few rain drops could be heard falling with a soft pitter-patter sound on the metal roof overhead. On the other hand, he thought, he really would feel guilty, not to mention a little cowardly, if he were to not go with George. But who knew what those men might do if they found two kids spying on them? And what if they really were criminals? Then they would be really dangerous. They might even be armed, in which case…. ‘’Well, all right,” Johnny said finally and with not a little reluctance. ‘’I’ll go—but we’ve got to be REALLY careful, you know. Those people have got to never suspect we were anywhere close by, like you said. We’ve got to do it stealthily.’’ ‘’Right. As I said, what we’ve got to do is crawl in from another part of the cornfield,” George said. ‘’It’s a little bit windy today, so that’ll help any noise we might make even better.” ‘’Well, but what happens if they do notice us?” said Johnny. “If that were to ever happen, we would obviously have to get out of there as fast as possible. I don’t think we’d have to worry about those people trying to come after us, since we could probably outrun must adults in a cornfield. After all, they’re taller and would have to stoop lower than we would to run under all the corn stalks. By the way, which part of the field are they at?” ‘’I don’t know, I think they’ve been moving around some. Wait, no, I think my dad say to my mom that they’re right around where the old corn crib used to be; that’s about a mile south from our house. But boy, that sounds like an awful lot of crawling.” ‘’Well, you want answers, don’t you? This is the only way to get those answers. All right then, so we’ll have to head for the old corn crib,” George resumed, briskly. ‘’What time is it; do you know?” Johnny looked at his wristwatch. It was one twenty-two o’clock. Despite the ever so faint sprinkling of rain, the ground was still for the most part dry, which was good. Obviously they wouldn’t want to spend an hour crawling on wet soil! ‘’The sun usually sets around nine o’clock, this time of year,” George said. ‘’So we have plenty of time ahead of us.” ‘’Well I sure hope our parents don’t see us,” Johnny said. ‘’My dad told me I should keep my distance from the photographers. And I’m sure he’d be real mad if he found out about what we’re going to do.’’ ‘’Well, are we going to get going or aren’t we?” said George, dragging his bike out from a dusty corner of the barn. ‘’Let’s go and figure out if we can what’s going on over there. Your parents should be grateful we’re going to do this. We’re doing them a service.’’’ It was with some reluctance that Johnny re-mounted his own bike and pushed its’ kickstand up. Together the two of them rode out from the barn. “If anyone asks us what we’re doing, we can tell them we’re going fishing,” George said as they were heading down the Bensons’ driveway. ‘’We’ll just say we’re going over to your house to get the rods and bait.’’ “All right,’’ Johnny said, but he barely heard what had been said. Inwardly he was dreading what they were about to do. What if there WAS something supernatural about those photographers? It did seem ridiculous, it seemed impossible. But how else could he explain what had happened? How else could he explain the nightmare? He thought back to the faces of the two men. Pale faces, without much expression. They seemed smiling and friendly, but there was something about them that seemed artificial, contrived. That did not seem real. He shook his head, as if to shake away the thoughts. Far from warming up as the day went on, it was actually getting a little bit cooler. Closer to eighty than eighty-five degrees now, Johnny thought; for which he was grateful. In fact the weather was actually pretty pleasant, although dreary. Crawling around in a cornfield in ninety degree weather, with no cloud-cover, would have been very unpleasant. By now the boys had left the Bensons’ farm-house well behind them, and they were on the gravel road headed straight south. There were cornfields on either side of them, but these did not belong to the Creightons. Most of them were the Bensons’, some belonged to the Sawters (other neighbors of theirs). This part of Iowa was quite flat, and they were able to pedal along at a pretty decent speed. The closer they got to the Creighton farm, the more misgivings Johnny felt rising up inside him. It wasn’t like him to feel this afraid about anything, he trie to tell himself. He couldn’t figure out what was wrong with him. It was as if the nightmare of two nights ago had left him with an unending, incomprehensible fear. But, he tried to tell himself, he would feel better if and once they were able to get to the bottom of the so-called photographers’ true purposes. Or at least to have a much better idea of them than they had now. And he didn’t have long to wait. By now the cluster of buildings of the Creighton property was coming into sight. Beyond lay all the expanse of the Creighton cornfields, and in them the mystery they were attempting to unravel. 

.

No but seriously.
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I used to joke that God gave me almost every oppression point in the book but heeeeey at least he didn't make me trans. Right RIGHT?
Ha. Ha. ha.
...
....
Ten Years Later
Bitch my ass is trans as FUCK. FUCK.(YEAH!)
I'm Black, I'm queer, I lived as a black woman for the last 26 years of my LIFE. I grew up in the south in dumbfuck middle of nowhere jesus humping bible thumping suburbia. I grew up as an untreated/undiagnosed ADHD autistic kid with no friends. With nutjob religious parents who traumatized the living shit out of me so much i've been unpackin for 10 years in therapy and every now and again I still find shards of me scattered about that I gotta bring back to the center.
So we got to collect ALL the cards of this weird game called Society. (Please I would like to leave this awful social game, the rules make no sense and they're hurting everything/everyone I love). Got the racism, the homophobia, the misogyny, the ableism, and whew god just when I thought Okay i'm an ADULT (hooman feemawle lol) I got this I have figured out how to survive all of these things and now i'm set i'm good i know where i'm going.
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BONK. Have some gender! BTW you're transmasc. But not in a binary way because no of course we won't make it easy for you. And no there's no script to your gender this time. and yes you will ABSOLUTELY BE MAKING THIS SHIT UP AS YOU GO. and here's all the dysphoria you repressed to keep yourself safe/fit. And I don't care if you're the hottest girl to have ever lived because SORRY you're NOT A GIRL anymore. No not a man either. Nope not a woman either. meyheeeeh maybe a boy? Good luck ! Have fun navigating gender in the era of Drumph and DeSatan. (Thank god for shrooms because wow i feel like I packed 5 years of gender therapy into one year.)
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I...am beginning to think that God (the universe) is an absolute prankster.
But you know what jokes on them because I fucking LOVE the fact that i'm transmasc and genderqueer. I'm fuckin STOKED. I'm fuckin stoked about my atypical hormone regimine, and i'm excited about all the changes that are coming! (Bottom growth! Body Hair! Voice Drop! wooo!) and I don't even care if I can't pull of "masc" correctly or if i'm "too femme" to be masc or that i'm one of the "nonbinninary crazy people who don't understand how the real world works". I'm fucking stoked that God made me a woman first before letting me metamorphosis into into an eldritch horror. Like are you fucking kidding me let's go! I'm gonna be the nicest smiliest gentlest softest black trans masc boy you have ever fuckin met.
I'm gonna have my little ass microdick under my long skirts and i'm gonna yeet these fuckin teets and wear those sheer button ups and dresses and long pants rolled up at the ankle. And i'm gonna pack my goddamn packer with my makeup on and i'm gonna lounge like a goddamn irreverent dude and i'm gonna give zero fucks.
And when they come for me because it's not if, it's when. When they come for me and my community i'm gonna fight. i'm gonna use all that pressure of their oppression and i'm gonna tear this whole system down.