Hot topic winnie the pooh pants

Hello,
I'm a newbie when it comes to bikes. I'm looking to buy my first bike in coming one to two months.
I'm looking towards the FZ models of Yamaha. Here are some conclusions that I got from basic research.
FZ-S FI : I am a huge fan of this bike but some cons observed in the new model. 150 cc which is low in the same price segment. The design makes me cry. (why Yamaha why!) and yeah the 6th gear :(
FZ-X : I don't know why it feels like a wanna be tryna get into the RE/Yezdi segment. (again the design) :(
MT-15- The hot topic of the town. I loved it initially but if you don't consider the looks, there are better performing bikes in the same segment.
FZ-25 : This feels like the ultimate FZ option with a good engine cc. But yeah no feature upgrades when you compare to the above options. waiting for the new FZ-25 new model to be launched with new features - bs6 phase 2 and hopefully six gears ( Also does anyone know when is this gonna happen?)
I'm open to other options but would prefer if it's Yamaha. Can y'all please guide me ?

So I've been in the hospital for the past week, got forced in for depression, so I didn't have a chance to pack any clothes. I'm finally getting out tomorrow and asked my parents to bring me some clothes since I've only really had hospital clothes this whole time. Now my parents have never really seemed too supportive of me being trans/wearing feminine clothes (mtf) or atleast never seemed that comfortable about it and when my mom asked what I wanted her to bring, since she hasn't been too supportive I just said a shirt and some pants, she starts asking me which pair of leggings I wanted her to bring which bra I wanted her to bring if there was any specific underwear, honestly I was blown away that she was willing to bring everything I actually wanted but didn't want to ask for. Maybe she's actually supportive but doesn't quite know how to show it fully but it made me feel really good that she was willing to do this for me. This was the first week I've been openly telling people I'm trans and telling them my name and pronouns and I've felt amazing being able to be me and I've been scared of getting out and having to hide myself again but for her to do this maybe i won't go back into hiding. I've gotten so tired of hiding who I really am it's been eating at me for years and because of that my depression has gotten worse and I got to a dangerous point with drinking and I feel like being my self will really help in the long run (sorry if I got off topic there

I was always told you had to wear long pants(jeans) as a construction(electrical) worker. Is that true or do you wear jean shorts on hot heat?

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I've been cycling through lots of alt styles and goth types since I was really young, they all include dark clothing but also heavy accessories.
My current style sort of is nu goth, almost leaning more into punk or emo, so I like things like sneakers, heavy boots, arm warmers, etc. I wear pretty heavy makeup as well.
This was never an issue because I grew up in Maryland where it's pretty frigid. I actually grew my death hawk out because it was too damn cold. I used to live kind of close to DC where all the skater punks and emo kids wore striped arm warmers, and I was one of those kids.
Almost a year ago, I moved to the southern US. It's definitely shocking to go from a big city to a small country town. I must say, I prefer this because it's very secluded and peaceful.
The town is also really old so it's beautifully gothic, lots of gorgeous cemeteries. As much as I love this little country gothic town, there is one problem; it is TOO fucking hot and muggy. The town is nestled within some swamps.
I can barely survive the heat, i've considered shaving the sides of my head again. My makeup melts. I'm limited to shorts and tank tops, but I love hoodies and baggy pants. I can't wear boots or sneakers.
I also get hot in fishnets. I've been leaning more towards pastel goth or scene outfits because the lighter colors help with the heat, but I wanna wear more black.
How do y'all survive being goth where it's hot and muggy?

It'll be their hot topic of the month but will leave a scar for a long time

ISO the following to complete my Let's Go set!
Cards: Paris Genie Snowy: Winnie the Pooh International: Mickey, Genie Camping: Mickey Amusement: Dumbo
I would like to purchase most if not all from one person. Reasonable offers please!
I have a lot of multiples I could also do trades for if interested!

"Come inside, the kids are upstairs." Molly was in a rush, I knew this much from the phone call we had earlier. She had never used me before but heard about me through word of mouth. Which meant that my little side hustle was starting to gain traction.
I am a babysitter for a good neighborhood. There's cars parked outside, lawns are manicured, and the occasional termite company is out doing rounds. I don't know why but I always feel as if there's a termite guy nearby, it's a pretty decent area. Which is a far cry from where I live, on the other side of the tracks, literally. There are train tracks that run through our town and it acts as a divide. But they didn't need to know that. They only needed to see the straightened hair, well spoken, fake braces wearing girl in glasses sporting a skirt that wasn't too short where the neighbors would talk.
Usually I sat down with new clients, have them introduce me to their kids (trust me it helps) in order to make a clear cut line with them that I am in their parent's employ and I am not there to be their bestfriend and will definitely tell on them if they act up or break something. That's not to say I won't play silly games with them, feed them, laugh, tell bed time stories, and age appropriate jokes. But I am nobody's rug.
That's what I usually do, but there wasn't such luxury this time. Molly called me on the phone and she sounded desperate for me to come out. I had concert tickets and told her that they were non-refundable and she suggested that if I could make it in 30 minutes then she'd pay me twice the amount for the tickets and 1.5x my usual rate. I got there in 29 minutes. It would have been sooner but I needed to air myself out if you know what I mean.
Anyways, Molly barely had time to look at my face, let alone get any of my credentials as she was rushing out. Working mom it looked like. Business, by the looks of the pencil skirt and the bag that doubled as a folder. It always amazes me how much trust some people put in others to watch their kids. What if I was a serial killer? Or a deranged lunatic? What if I killed the babysitter on my way here and now I'm in a house, alone, with all her children.
I'm not. But I mean, what if, right?
She didn't seem to think about any of these things, leaving me to mumble goodbyes as she pulled out of the driveway, barely audible as the turbos wound up and she shouted something out the window to the likes of, "It's all on the iPad".
Yeah, no more yellow lined paper stuck with the realtor's magnet on the fridge anymore. It's all digital now.
I closed the door and figured that I better check up on the kids before I did a rundown. God this house was beautiful. I climbed the stairs two at a time and rounded the hall. To be fair, calling it a hall was so basic of me. It was more like a wing. West wing madam. The wing could have fit my living room. I click my heels when I heard a snort come from behind me. I came to face a shaggy dog that was well groomed. The collar was black with an underline of blue. Tiffany's undoubtedly. "Hey," I reached a hand and scratched the mop of top. "Let's go find the kids," I tell the dog as if it could understand me.
There were a series of rooms, most of them closed, but it didn't take me a second guess which one was occupied. The second door on the left, I could hear a kid shouting obscenities about someone being trash. I knocked on that door first.
"Come in," he shouted still loud but slightly less angry.
I opened the door and saw a stereotypical gamer's room. Posters, action figures, a rocking gaming chair on the floor in front of a huge flat screen, and a boy about 9 or 10. He had on his headphones and was sipping a Dr. Pepper.
"Don't they know trash day is on Thursdays?"
He cocked his head and laughed, "If you're looking for my mom I think she's downstairs."
"I'm actually looking for you." And let me tell you something. The audacity of this younger generation. The way he looked at me. Almost made me feel as bad as how I felt when he shrugged his shoulders after he had a good look. "Excuse me," I walk in front of him and blocked the screen. "I'm your new babysitter."
He shrugged. "Cool."
"What's your name?"
"You can read all about it somewhere else."
"What?"
"It's all on the iPad," he told me.
"What's your name," I repeated.
He rolls his eyes and looks at me as if I had asked him a stupid question.
I don't budge.
He whined, "Bobbie. Now come on, the next rounds about to start." he pulled his headphones over his ears. I grabbed the remote to get his attention. "What. Hey come on."
"It's nice to meet you Bobbie. Your mom's going to be away for a few hours and I'll be here until she gets back. Dinner is at 6:00 and I will make snacks at 4:30."
"No cap," he motioned at the tv, "Now can I get back to my game.
"Sure I tell him." Pocketing the remote.
"Hey!"
"Bye," I tell him as I close the door behind me.
So I'm back out in the hallway. And I open a few more doors. Some were locked. Before I get into one that's rather plain. There's a picture hanging up behind the bed, a tv, some lamps and shade. On the bed sits an identical, about 9 or 10, twins it seems. Probably why Bobbie was tired of being asked which one he was.
This one was staring at the blank screen. No video games. And quiet. Now I've babysat my share of kids before, and have seen all sorts. Quiet kids are my favorite. They don't mind board games, or listening. Most often times they only need to be left alone. I don't do too much talking in case they get tired of hearing my voice. And I give them a lot of space. "Hey, sorry about that. I didn't think anyone was in here."
He turned to me slowly, "Hi. Are you the new sitter?"
I nodded, "Yup. And I'm guessing that you're Max. I'll be watching you guys while your mom is away."
"She's probably going to work."
"Yeah, looked like it." I see the iPad in his hands. "Hey. I was looking for that."
"She's always at work." He hands it over. "It's dead. And mom took the charger."
I tried not to sigh. This was not how I wanted things to go. "Well, ok. If you need anything. Let me know. Or else I can come get you at 4:30 for snacks and dinner at 6."
He nodded, "Thanks," and goes back to staring at the screen.
I smile but he doesn't see, so I leave, closing the door softly behind me.
I make my way downstairs, wandering into the kitchen and start taking stock of what's there. Which was practically everything. This kitchen was so chic that I half expected Gordon Ramsay to pop out and tell me that the banana bread I made didn't have a clue if he staked the curved yellow fruit down the middle (it's a bad question mark joke. Listen. I never said I was funny).
Once I made sure that there was food, or ingredients to make food. There wasn't much else to do. The house was spotless. The kids were fine. And even the dog seemed well behaved. So I plopped on the couch, took out my fake braces, and watched tv until about 4:10 before I started slicing apples and celery to go with some peanut butter.
I fed the dog some peanut butter and licked my fingers (not with the hand I fed the dog with), before heading upstairs. Bobbie took the plate no problem but I couldn't find Max for the life of me. I wandered the rooms as the dog followed, still trying to lick my hand. "Max, I've got snacks." I knocked on what seemed like the umpteenth door before I get to a rather solid oak one that seemed custom.
Inside was the biggest home library I had ever seen. And I once dog sat for a pretentious professor from the college nearby. I mean, there was a portrait of said academic holding his dog in 18th century art style hanging over the mantle place of the deep wood cabinets filled with books. And yet this library made the other one look like a neighborhood book exchange birdbox.
"Holy..."
"Cow."
I whirled around to find Max standing in the doorway.
"You shouldn't wander into Father's study."
"I was just looking for you," holding up the plate. He made a face. "What? You don't like PB&C?" I took a stick and crunched on the celery.
"I'm not hungry."
I shrug. "Take it anyway. In case you get hungry."
He grabs the plate from me without much struggle so I decide to leave him be. I went back downstairs and crashed in front of the tv.
When I woke up. It was dark. My mouth was dry and all of the lights were off. The screen saver flashed the logo in blinks, lighting up the room only momentarily. For a second I forgot where I was and felt my heart thumping in my chest. My alarm didn't go off but I don't know why I woke up. Then I heard it again. The sound that must have jerked me awake. A crash. It came from upstairs. I grab my phone and glance down at the numbers. It was 8:10. I had slept through dinner. Shit. Shit. Shit. Here I was trying to make a good first impression and I missed out on dinner.
I wipe what drool was on my face and took to the stairs. Bobbie was probably so immersed in his game that he probably didn't even know he was hungry. Max on the other hand. "Max?" I call out down the hall. All of the doors are shut. I can hear something panting behind me. I turn to see the dog again. Its head is down and there's barely any light touching its face. "Hey come here," I called but it retreated in the opposite direction.
Then I shit me not. I heard a creaking come from behind me. It was the only noise in the house. I couldn't even hear Bobbie yelling in his room. I turn slowly and see one of the doors down the hall is now slightly ajar. It's dark in here. It was dark everywhere. I pressed my hands against the wall searching for a light switch. "Bobbie," I call out. There's no answer. "Hey, sorry about the delay in dinner. I'm going to get to it now."
Why was this place so big? And why could I see the door?
"Bobbie. Max?" I hear the dog tapping its paws behind me. Someone on the other side of the house by now. "Hey, where are you guys?" I peer at the single door that's open and realized why it was so prominent. The hall was dark, but what was inside was even darker. Instead of going toward it, I try the first knob my blind fingers came across. Process of elimination I told myself. It was locked. I tried the next one. Also locked. I finally get to Bobbie's door and I knock. "Bobbie." There's no answer. I press my head against the door and listen. But I don't hear a single sound.
"Where are all the light switches in this place!"
The door that was open before slightly opens again. Creaking, *tic tic tic tic*, with each ungreased turn of the hinge. "Shit. Hey, stop playing around."
There's laughing coming from behind me. It sounded like a little kids. Too young to be either of the boys. Followed by smaller footsteps. It sounded like they were barefoot. "Hey, this isn't funny. I'm going to tell your mother when she gets home." I take out my phone and turn on the flashlight. "When is she coming home?" It was almost 8:30, when I realized that we never set a time.
I hear footsteps again, they were odd. Almost like falling. Like a toddler learning how to run for the first time but the hollow ground sounded as if the person was much heavier. I shine my flashlight over the hall. "Shit." The dog was sitting on all fours in the corner. It was facing the wall. I couldn't even see his face. Every hair on its body completely still.
"Hey," I called out. "Come here." I clicked my tongue. "Come here." The dog didn't move. I couldn't even see it breathing.
Bang! It sounded like thunder behind me. As if someone dropped something on the floor. As if something fell off a shelf or was pushed. I jumped around and shone my light down the west wing. I didn't know if I should have been more or less afraid now that the door was closed. "Bobbie? Max?"
God. I did not want to try the door. And I stood there for a minute before realizing how stupid I must have looked. These were some rich kids playing a joke on you Camilia. I know it. The thought of their smug little faces made me stomp out of my frozen state. I took a couple of strides over and grabbed the handle.
"Fuck!" The thing was hot. "What the hell! You guys could have hurt me," I yelled. I banged on the door. "Open up. You two are in so much trouble." I banged on the door again. "Open the door. Right now!" I could hear something on the other side. It sounded like shuffling. Heavy furniture perhaps. "You guys better not be messing things up in there. I'm not going to clean it. I mean it."
I banged on the door. "I can hear you in there! Now come on!" I put my hands on my hips and tapped my foot. "I'm waiting. Your little jokes over now." I banged on the door again.
That's when the door knocked back.
It wouldn't have scared me. I don't think. Except for the fact that I was surprised. And alone in the hall. Without any of the lights on. In a strange house. And before I could say anything else. Another door behind me knocked from the inside. "Shit. Both of you are in on this?" I grabbed the handle to the other door. It was also locked. I banged on it. "Come out right now. Max?"
But then a third door started knocked from down the hall. I felt my throat clump as I tried to swallow. "You guys weren't supposed to have anyone over." The knocking didn't stop. It kept echoing down the hall. "I'm not getting paid for three kids you know?"
Tat-tat-tat-tat. Tat-tat-tat.
I took a single step. And then all of the doors in the hallway suddenly started banging.
I almost tripped as I ran toward the stairs. The doors were thundering on so hard I thought they would crack their hinges. I skipped the stairs, the sounds chasing me as I tried to not fall and break my neck. When I got to the front landing I hear someone say my name.
"Camilia. Are you okay?"
I'm trying not to choke on a lung here as I shot my eyes toward the kitchen. The kids are sitting on the barstools lining the counter. There are two plates in front of them. As if they didn't hear the drumline upstairs.
"Is it dinner time yet," one of them asks quietly.
"Max?"
He smiles.
"Kids. I think there's someone in the house." I rush over to grab each of their hands. Bobbie's wrists are limp but it was Max's hands that shocked me. They were ice cold. I tried to let go but my fingers wouldn't uncurl.
He turns my hand over and says, "There's no one else in this house except us. I promise."
"No," I wasn't about to listen to the kid even if it was his house. "Something is wrong. We have to go. Now." I pick up Bobbie and he doesn't seem to want to move. "Come on Bobbie. Let's go." He looks over at Max who shrugs and get out of his seat.
Bobbie follows as I drag them toward the front door.
"Camilia," Max says.
"What?" He looked scared. Which made me turn toward what he was staring out. At the front door was a tall figure. I couldn't see its face through the glass. It was a stark figure of a man.
"Do you think it's your dad?"
Max shakes his head. I feel him pulling against my arm.
I call out to the man, "Hey! Who is it?" The man doesn't budge. "I'm calling the police." I turn to Bobbie, "Get the phone." He doesn't move. "Hey!" I'm trying to sound as angry as possible. "Get the fuck out of here!" I grabbed a roll of painter's tape from the side table and hurl it across the hall, hitting the glass squarely in the face where the man's head stood blocking the exit. He doesn't even twitch as the glass shakes.
"Come on," I grab their hands and rush to the back. I don't get 10 steps before I feel a scream crawl up my throat making me cough. The man was standing at the sliding door. "Fuck!" I drag the two of them with me towards the kitchen. It's a big place so there had to be a way out to the garage. We push through one of the doors and end up in the laundry room. The next door gets us out into a 3 car garage. My hands find the glowing green opener against the wall and I hear the opener fold seamlessly towards the ceiling.
It started with his feet. Then his ankles. His shins. Then his legs. Light poured in from behind him from the streetlamp. I watched as the door went to his waist before I hit the button for the garage to close, before rushing back inside. We make it into the kitchen to where I still see the tall man standing at the sliding door. A part of me wants to hide in the laundry room but I didn't want to be sandwiched in the middle of the house. So I pull the boys back up the stairs, back to where the doors banged themselves. Taking out my phone as we ascended, and called 911.
"This is the police operator speaking."
"HELLO", I hope they could hear me, "There are several men trying to get inside!"
"Men? Are you in any danger?"
"No! But they have us surrounded!"
"Why don't you go outside?"
My tongue suddenly felt numb in my mouth. Like I didn't know what to do with it. "W-what?"
"It's stranger in the house."
The line went dead as we hit the hallway.
I only took my eyes off of them for a second before Bobbie. Or Max. Runs down the hall. The one or the other already slipping through a door ahead. I look back down the stairs and see that the man is still standing in front of the doorway. I look back up and see the other boy also going through the same door. I take a single step and the doors start pounding on either side. I shut my eyes and turn around. Afraid to go. Almost deciding that these weren't my kids. That I should run away. I take a step backwards mouthing that I was sorry. But I was too scared to go! "Max! Bobbie!" My back foot sticks to the floor. I don't want to look down but the next step sticks too. I point my phone to the ground and see a trail of blood. And just behind me. It's the dog. Split right down the middle, its spine shiny and white, still facing the wall. I could see its organs still pulsing.
I couldn't go back downstairs. I couldn't go the other way. I couldn't leave them here. I couldn't be alone.
I ran after them. The thundering of the doors following me as frames fell to the floor. A vase rolled off a table in the hall. It came crashing at my feet. I run my shoulder through the door, except it wasn't locked. Which caused me to go crashing, sprawling to the floor. Running into the desk in the middle of the room.
The study.
Many of the books were off the shelves. The carpet was torn. There were curtains on fire. It was the first time a saw a window as they burned.
"Camilia!"
I hear one of their voices shouting at me.
"Camilia!" It came again. "Help!"
I get to my feet and start working my hands along the desk. I didn't have to search far. The bookcase directly behind the chair had been swung open. "Camilia!" I wipe the blood from my eyebrow where it had split and step into the tunnel behind the secret passage.
The tunnel started off tall and wide, but as I kept walking in. It got smaller and smaller. I started having to hunch. Several times I decided to turn back. But their voices would echo through, calling for me. Asking for help. "I'm coming!"
"I can't hold on! Camilia! Please!"
The twins cry for help bounced off the walls. I was finally on my hands and knees when I finally see two holes on either side. I'm afraid to look but then one of their voices came through clear as day. "Camilia." It was right in my ear now. I turned to see the boy naked and huddling, hugging his knees at the back of his hole.
"Camilia! Help! I don't want to play this game anymore!"
"Bobbie?"
"Help me!"
I look into the hole, the walls are pressing on my back and there's dust going into my lungs. I can barely turn my shoulder. "Crawl out!"
"I can't!"
"Crawl out! I'm right here." I take out my hand, "Come on!"
"Camilia!" Came a voice from the other side.
I turn my head and see Max in the other hole.
"No!" Bobbie shouts at me. "No!"
"Hold on," I tell him. "I'm going to get both of you out of here."
"No," Bobbie cries. "It's all his fault. He's the one that did it. He's the one that wants to get out!"
"Bobbie, what are you talking about."
"He's the one that put something in your drink so you'd fall asleep!"
"He's lying!" Max's voice rang through. "It's him! I saw him. Always in father's study! Reading those books! Trying out those things he reads. Those curses. Those spells. It's why the shadow men are after him! Camilia! You have to believe me."
I can hear Bobbie crying, "Why are you lying! I don't want to play anymore," he screeches. "I don't want to play!" He sobs. "You said you'd go away if I told you that I didn't want to play anymore."
I don't know what made me do it. It sure wasn't the nauseating squealing tantrum of the boy which made me reach for him first. Maybe it was because I wanted him to shut up. I don't know but I plunged my arm up to my shoulder in to grab his collar.
Instantly I screamed and saw tiny spiders, short thing legs with round white backs crawl over my arms. I shook my arm in the hole, trying to smother them against the walls. That only caused these long brown flat slugs to fall. I saw one land on my hand. It had three distinct tendon-like lines running across its back and was about a half inch long. I pulled my arm out of the hole as I felt it pierce its flat head into the back of my hand. I dropped my phone and heard it crack as the light splintered in the small, suffocating tunnel. But I didn't care as I looked at my hand and saw it burrowing its tiny spearhead below my skin. I grabbed at the wiggling tail still exposed and tried pulling it out.
It was like trying to pull our barbed wire. The spines on its body were facing me. So with each pull they dug deeper inside. I could see blood pooling under my skin, it was starting to turn purple as I tugged on its tail even harder. Until it gave. Popped right off and lay twitching in my hand. The head missing.
I couldn't take it anymore. Really. I had tried my best. I shake my head. "Bobbie. Bobbie. I'm sorry." But it didn't matter. When I looked over at Bobbie. He was covered in it. All of it. Even the spiders.
My jeans started shifting as I tried to wiggle myself out of there. But I hear Max's cry again. "Camilia! Please!"
"No," I whimpered. Shaking. I couldn't reach my hand in there again. But his voice was so scared. More scared than the pain I felt.
I shot my arm inside. Bracing. Waiting for the pain. But there was none. Instead my hands grasped around his collar and I felt his cold clammy skin, and yanked him from the hole. He came without much struggle. His face covered in the soot of it all. "Camilia," he cried. "You picked me. You did it."
I didn't have the heart to tell him that I almost didn't.
"Come on," I cried. "We. Have. To go."
The two of us wiggled our way out of there, crawling on our hands and knees, and running when we could. We finally make it back into the study. And the fire is roaring now. One of the books fall from the shelves and when it hit the fire I swear it started screaming. There was so much smoke that I couldn't see. And the door was covered by the flames.
I pointed to the window, the curtains on the floor in ashes. I kick the window. It didn't budge. I coughed. I kicked it again. The glass shook. I kicked it again and my foot went through. Pieces of the glass still hung in the frame, I use the tips of my fingers and pull them back. They fall to the floor cracking until there was a hole big enough for me to get through.
I plunge my head out and take my first breath of fresh air. The moon was full and the sky was clear. I could hear sirens coming off in the distance. When both of my feet were on the roof. I reach my hand back and grab Max from the burning house. Together we run across the clay tiles and climb down the arched tree. The red fire truck comes screeching to a stop as several firemen help us down.
One of them pushes a breathing mask on me, and wraps me up. The neighbors are outside, and the police arrive. I see a familiar car come roaring down the street, screaming to a halt as Molly runs out. Her face is flustered and she's shouting. Pushing through the cops until she reaches me next to the ambulance.
"What happened," she literally screamed at me.
"I'm so sorry," I tell her. "There were these men." I take another breath. "I couldn't do anything! B-but I saved Max! I saved him!"
She looked at the house. It was blazing now in the cool night. "Oh my god. Is Bobbie still in there?" Molly starts to cry. "My baby!"
"Max. But Max." I cough. "Max is okay!"
And she turns to me. I wasn't expecting her to be grateful. But there's anger on her face. "You didn't save my son. But you saved our dog?"
I shake my head. "No. Max. Your other son." I looked around but he was nowhere to be found.
s

"Come inside, the kids are upstairs." Molly was in a rush, I knew this much from the phone call we had earlier. She had never used me before but heard about me through word of mouth. Which meant that my little side hustle was starting to gain traction.
I am a babysitter for a good neighborhood. There's cars parked outside, lawns are manicured, and the occasional termite company is out doing rounds. I don't know why but I always feel as if there's a termite guy nearby, it's a pretty decent area. Which is a far cry from where I live, on the other side of the tracks, literally. There are train tracks that run through our town and it acts as a divide. But they didn't need to know that. They only needed to see the straightened hair, well spoken, fake braces wearing girl in glasses sporting a skirt that wasn't too short where the neighbors would talk.
Usually I sat down with new clients, have them introduce me to their kids (trust me it helps) in order to make a clear cut line with them that I am in their parent's employ and I am not there to be their bestfriend and will definitely tell on them if they act up or break something. That's not to say I won't play silly games with them, feed them, laugh, tell bed time stories, and age appropriate jokes. But I am nobody's rug.
That's what I usually do, but there wasn't such luxury this time. Molly called me on the phone and she sounded desperate for me to come out. I had concert tickets and told her that they were non-refundable and she suggested that if I could make it in 30 minutes then she'd pay me twice the amount for the tickets and 1.5x my usual rate. I got there in 29 minutes. It would have been sooner but I needed to air myself out if you know what I mean.
Anyways, Molly barely had time to look at my face, let alone get any of my credentials as she was rushing out. Working mom it looked like. Business, by the looks of the pencil skirt and the bag that doubled as a folder. It always amazes me how much trust some people put in others to watch their kids. What if I was a serial killer? Or a deranged lunatic? What if I killed the babysitter on my way here and now I'm in a house, alone, with all her children.
I'm not. But I mean, what if, right?
She didn't seem to think about any of these things, leaving me to mumble goodbyes as she pulled out of the driveway, barely audible as the turbos wound up and she shouted something out the window to the likes of, "It's all on the iPad".
Yeah, no more yellow lined paper stuck with the realtor's magnet on the fridge anymore. It's all digital now.
I closed the door and figured that I better check up on the kids before I did a rundown. God this house was beautiful. I climbed the stairs two at a time and rounded the hall. To be fair, calling it a hall was so basic of me. It was more like a wing. West wing madam. The wing could have fit my living room. I click my heels when I heard a snort come from behind me. I came to face a shaggy dog that was well groomed. The collar was black with an underline of blue. Tiffany's undoubtedly. "Hey," I reached a hand and scratched the mop of top. "Let's go find the kids," I tell the dog as if it could understand me.
There were a series of rooms, most of them closed, but it didn't take me a second guess which one was occupied. The second door on the left, I could hear a kid shouting obscenities about someone being trash. I knocked on that door first.
"Come in," he shouted still loud but slightly less angry.
I opened the door and saw a stereotypical gamer's room. Posters, action figures, a rocking gaming chair on the floor in front of a huge flat screen, and a boy about 9 or 10. He had on his headphones and was sipping a Dr. Pepper.
"Don't they know trash day is on Thursdays?"
He cocked his head and laughed, "If you're looking for my mom I think she's downstairs."
"I'm actually looking for you." And let me tell you something. The audacity of this younger generation. The way he looked at me. Almost made me feel as bad as how I felt when he shrugged his shoulders after he had a good look. "Excuse me," I walk in front of him and blocked the screen. "I'm your new babysitter."
He shrugged. "Cool."
"What's your name?"
"You can read all about it somewhere else."
"What?"
"It's all on the iPad," he told me.
"What's your name," I repeated.
He rolls his eyes and looks at me as if I had asked him a stupid question.
I don't budge.
He whined, "Bobbie. Now come on, the next rounds about to start." he pulled his headphones over his ears. I grabbed the remote to get his attention. "What. Hey come on."
"It's nice to meet you Bobbie. Your mom's going to be away for a few hours and I'll be here until she gets back. Dinner is at 6:00 and I will make snacks at 4:30."
"No cap," he motioned at the tv, "Now can I get back to my game.
"Sure I tell him." Pocketing the remote.
"Hey!"
"Bye," I tell him as I close the door behind me.
So I'm back out in the hallway. And I open a few more doors. Some were locked. Before I get into one that's rather plain. There's a picture hanging up behind the bed, a tv, some lamps and shade. On the bed sits an identical, about 9 or 10, twins it seems. Probably why Bobbie was tired of being asked which one he was.
This one was staring at the blank screen. No video games. And quiet. Now I've babysat my share of kids before, and have seen all sorts. Quiet kids are my favorite. They don't mind board games, or listening. Most often times they only need to be left alone. I don't do too much talking in case they get tired of hearing my voice. And I give them a lot of space. "Hey, sorry about that. I didn't think anyone was in here."
He turned to me slowly, "Hi. Are you the new sitter?"
I nodded, "Yup. And I'm guessing that you're Max. I'll be watching you guys while your mom is away."
"She's probably going to work."
"Yeah, looked like it." I see the iPad in his hands. "Hey. I was looking for that."
"She's always at work." He hands it over. "It's dead. And mom took the charger."
I tried not to sigh. This was not how I wanted things to go. "Well, ok. If you need anything. Let me know. Or else I can come get you at 4:30 for snacks and dinner at 6."
He nodded, "Thanks," and goes back to staring at the screen.
I smile but he doesn't see, so I leave, closing the door softly behind me.
I make my way downstairs, wandering into the kitchen and start taking stock of what's there. Which was practically everything. This kitchen was so chic that I half expected Gordon Ramsay to pop out and tell me that the banana bread I made didn't have a clue if he staked the curved yellow fruit down the middle (it's a bad question mark joke. Listen. I never said I was funny).
Once I made sure that there was food, or ingredients to make food. There wasn't much else to do. The house was spotless. The kids were fine. And even the dog seemed well behaved. So I plopped on the couch, took out my fake braces, and watched tv until about 4:10 before I started slicing apples and celery to go with some peanut butter.
I fed the dog some peanut butter and licked my fingers (not with the hand I fed the dog with), before heading upstairs. Bobbie took the plate no problem but I couldn't find Max for the life of me. I wandered the rooms as the dog followed, still trying to lick my hand. "Max, I've got snacks." I knocked on what seemed like the umpteenth door before I get to a rather solid oak one that seemed custom.
Inside was the biggest home library I had ever seen. And I once dog sat for a pretentious professor from the college nearby. I mean, there was a portrait of said academic holding his dog in 18th century art style hanging over the mantle place of the deep wood cabinets filled with books. And yet this library made the other one look like a neighborhood book exchange birdbox.
"Holy..."
"Cow."
I whirled around to find Max standing in the doorway.
"You shouldn't wander into Father's study."
"I was just looking for you," holding up the plate. He made a face. "What? You don't like PB&C?" I took a stick and crunched on the celery.
"I'm not hungry."
I shrug. "Take it anyway. In case you get hungry."
He grabs the plate from me without much struggle so I decide to leave him be. I went back downstairs and crashed in front of the tv.
When I woke up. It was dark. My mouth was dry and all of the lights were off. The screen saver flashed the logo in blinks, lighting up the room only momentarily. For a second I forgot where I was and felt my heart thumping in my chest. My alarm didn't go off but I don't know why I woke up. Then I heard it again. The sound that must have jerked me awake. A crash. It came from upstairs. I grab my phone and glance down at the numbers. It was 8:10. I had slept through dinner. Shit. Shit. Shit. Here I was trying to make a good first impression and I missed out on dinner.
I wipe what drool was on my face and took to the stairs. Bobbie was probably so immersed in his game that he probably didn't even know he was hungry. Max on the other hand. "Max?" I call out down the hall. All of the doors are shut. I can hear something panting behind me. I turn to see the dog again. Its head is down and there's barely any light touching its face. "Hey come here," I called but it retreated in the opposite direction.
Then I shit me not. I heard a creaking come from behind me. It was the only noise in the house. I couldn't even hear Bobbie yelling in his room. I turn slowly and see one of the doors down the hall is now slightly ajar. It's dark in here. It was dark everywhere. I pressed my hands against the wall searching for a light switch. "Bobbie," I call out. There's no answer. "Hey, sorry about the delay in dinner. I'm going to get to it now."
Why was this place so big? And why could I see the door?
"Bobbie. Max?" I hear the dog tapping its paws behind me. Someone on the other side of the house by now. "Hey, where are you guys?" I peer at the single door that's open and realized why it was so prominent. The hall was dark, but what was inside was even darker. Instead of going toward it, I try the first knob my blind fingers came across. Process of elimination I told myself. It was locked. I tried the next one. Also locked. I finally get to Bobbie's door and I knock. "Bobbie." There's no answer. I press my head against the door and listen. But I don't hear a single sound.
"Where are all the light switches in this place!"
The door that was open before slightly opens again. Creaking, *tic tic tic tic*, with each ungreased turn of the hinge. "Shit. Hey, stop playing around."
There's laughing coming from behind me. It sounded like a little kids. Too young to be either of the boys. Followed by smaller footsteps. It sounded like they were barefoot. "Hey, this isn't funny. I'm going to tell your mother when she gets home." I take out my phone and turn on the flashlight. "When is she coming home?" It was almost 8:30, when I realized that we never set a time.
I hear footsteps again, they were odd. Almost like falling. Like a toddler learning how to run for the first time but the hollow ground sounded as if the person was much heavier. I shine my flashlight over the hall. "Shit." The dog was sitting on all fours in the corner. It was facing the wall. I couldn't even see his face. Every hair on its body completely still.
"Hey," I called out. "Come here." I clicked my tongue. "Come here." The dog didn't move. I couldn't even see it breathing.
Bang! It sounded like thunder behind me. As if someone dropped something on the floor. As if something fell off a shelf or was pushed. I jumped around and shone my light down the west wing. I didn't know if I should have been more or less afraid now that the door was closed. "Bobbie? Max?"
God. I did not want to try the door. And I stood there for a minute before realizing how stupid I must have looked. These were some rich kids playing a joke on you Camilia. I know it. The thought of their smug little faces made me stomp out of my frozen state. I took a couple of strides over and grabbed the handle.
"Fuck!" The thing was hot. "What the hell! You guys could have hurt me," I yelled. I banged on the door. "Open up. You two are in so much trouble." I banged on the door again. "Open the door. Right now!" I could hear something on the other side. It sounded like shuffling. Heavy furniture perhaps. "You guys better not be messing things up in there. I'm not going to clean it. I mean it."
I banged on the door. "I can hear you in there! Now come on!" I put my hands on my hips and tapped my foot. "I'm waiting. Your little jokes over now." I banged on the door again.
That's when the door knocked back.
It wouldn't have scared me. I don't think. Except for the fact that I was surprised. And alone in the hall. Without any of the lights on. In a strange house. And before I could say anything else. Another door behind me knocked from the inside. "Shit. Both of you are in on this?" I grabbed the handle to the other door. It was also locked. I banged on it. "Come out right now. Max?"
But then a third door started knocked from down the hall. I felt my throat clump as I tried to swallow. "You guys weren't supposed to have anyone over." The knocking didn't stop. It kept echoing down the hall. "I'm not getting paid for three kids you know?"
Tat-tat-tat-tat. Tat-tat-tat.
I took a single step. And then all of the doors in the hallway suddenly started banging.
I almost tripped as I ran toward the stairs. The doors were thundering on so hard I thought they would crack their hinges. I skipped the stairs, the sounds chasing me as I tried to not fall and break my neck. When I got to the front landing I hear someone say my name.
"Camilia. Are you okay?"
I'm trying not to choke on a lung here as I shot my eyes toward the kitchen. The kids are sitting on the barstools lining the counter. There are two plates in front of them. As if they didn't hear the drumline upstairs.
"Is it dinner time yet," one of them asks quietly.
"Max?"
He smiles.
"Kids. I think there's someone in the house." I rush over to grab each of their hands. Bobbie's wrists are limp but it was Max's hands that shocked me. They were ice cold. I tried to let go but my fingers wouldn't uncurl.
He turns my hand over and says, "There's no one else in this house except us. I promise."
"No," I wasn't about to listen to the kid even if it was his house. "Something is wrong. We have to go. Now." I pick up Bobbie and he doesn't seem to want to move. "Come on Bobbie. Let's go." He looks over at Max who shrugs and get out of his seat.
Bobbie follows as I drag them toward the front door.
"Camilia," Max says.
"What?" He looked scared. Which made me turn toward what he was staring out. At the front door was a tall figure. I couldn't see its face through the glass. It was a stark figure of a man.
"Do you think it's your dad?"
Max shakes his head. I feel him pulling against my arm.
I call out to the man, "Hey! Who is it?" The man doesn't budge. "I'm calling the police." I turn to Bobbie, "Get the phone." He doesn't move. "Hey!" I'm trying to sound as angry as possible. "Get the fuck out of here!" I grabbed a roll of painter's tape from the side table and hurl it across the hall, hitting the glass squarely in the face where the man's head stood blocking the exit. He doesn't even twitch as the glass shakes.
"Come on," I grab their hands and rush to the back. I don't get 10 steps before I feel a scream crawl up my throat making me cough. The man was standing at the sliding door. "Fuck!" I drag the two of them with me towards the kitchen. It's a big place so there had to be a way out to the garage. We push through one of the doors and end up in the laundry room. The next door gets us out into a 3 car garage. My hands find the glowing green opener against the wall and I hear the opener fold seamlessly towards the ceiling.
It started with his feet. Then his ankles. His shins. Then his legs. Light poured in from behind him from the streetlamp. I watched as the door went to his waist before I hit the button for the garage to close, before rushing back inside. We make it into the kitchen to where I still see the tall man standing at the sliding door. A part of me wants to hide in the laundry room but I didn't want to be sandwiched in the middle of the house. So I pull the boys back up the stairs, back to where the doors banged themselves. Taking out my phone as we ascended, and called 911.
"This is the police operator speaking."
"HELLO", I hope they could hear me, "There are several men trying to get inside!"
"Men? Are you in any danger?"
"No! But they have us surrounded!"
"Why don't you go outside?"
My tongue suddenly felt numb in my mouth. Like I didn't know what to do with it. "W-what?"
"It's stranger in the house."
The line went dead as we hit the hallway.
I only took my eyes off of them for a second before Bobbie. Or Max. Runs down the hall. The one or the other already slipping through a door ahead. I look back down the stairs and see that the man is still standing in front of the doorway. I look back up and see the other boy also going through the same door. I take a single step and the doors start pounding on either side. I shut my eyes and turn around. Afraid to go. Almost deciding that these weren't my kids. That I should run away. I take a step backwards mouthing that I was sorry. But I was too scared to go! "Max! Bobbie!" My back foot sticks to the floor. I don't want to look down but the next step sticks too. I point my phone to the ground and see a trail of blood. And just behind me. It's the dog. Split right down the middle, its spine shiny and white, still facing the wall. I could see its organs still pulsing.
I couldn't go back downstairs. I couldn't go the other way. I couldn't leave them here. I couldn't be alone.
I ran after them. The thundering of the doors following me as frames fell to the floor. A vase rolled off a table in the hall. It came crashing at my feet. I run my shoulder through the door, except it wasn't locked. Which caused me to go crashing, sprawling to the floor. Running into the desk in the middle of the room.
The study.
Many of the books were off the shelves. The carpet was torn. There were curtains on fire. It was the first time a saw a window as they burned.
"Camilia!"
I hear one of their voices shouting at me.
"Camilia!" It came again. "Help!"
I get to my feet and start working my hands along the desk. I didn't have to search far. The bookcase directly behind the chair had been swung open. "Camilia!" I wipe the blood from my eyebrow where it had split and step into the tunnel behind the secret passage.
The tunnel started off tall and wide, but as I kept walking in. It got smaller and smaller. I started having to hunch. Several times I decided to turn back. But their voices would echo through, calling for me. Asking for help. "I'm coming!"
"I can't hold on! Camilia! Please!"
The twins cry for help bounced off the walls. I was finally on my hands and knees when I finally see two holes on either side. I'm afraid to look but then one of their voices came through clear as day. "Camilia." It was right in my ear now. I turned to see the boy naked and huddling, hugging his knees at the back of his hole.
"Camilia! Help! I don't want to play this game anymore!"
"Bobbie?"
"Help me!"
I look into the hole, the walls are pressing on my back and there's dust going into my lungs. I can barely turn my shoulder. "Crawl out!"
"I can't!"
"Crawl out! I'm right here." I take out my hand, "Come on!"
"Camilia!" Came a voice from the other side.
I turn my head and see Max in the other hole.
"No!" Bobbie shouts at me. "No!"
"Hold on," I tell him. "I'm going to get both of you out of here."
"No," Bobbie cries. "It's all his fault. He's the one that did it. He's the one that wants to get out!"
"Bobbie, what are you talking about."
"He's the one that put something in your drink so you'd fall asleep!"
"He's lying!" Max's voice rang through. "It's him! I saw him. Always in father's study! Reading those books! Trying out those things he reads. Those curses. Those spells. It's why the shadow men are after him! Camilia! You have to believe me."
I can hear Bobbie crying, "Why are you lying! I don't want to play anymore," he screeches. "I don't want to play!" He sobs. "You said you'd go away if I told you that I didn't want to play anymore."
I don't know what made me do it. It sure wasn't the nauseating squealing tantrum of the boy which made me reach for him first. Maybe it was because I wanted him to shut up. I don't know but I plunged my arm up to my shoulder in to grab his collar.
Instantly I screamed and saw tiny spiders, short thing legs with round white backs crawl over my arms. I shook my arm in the hole, trying to smother them against the walls. That only caused these long brown flat slugs to fall. I saw one land on my hand. It had three distinct tendon-like lines running across its back and was about a half inch long. I pulled my arm out of the hole as I felt it pierce its flat head into the back of my hand. I dropped my phone and heard it crack as the light splintered in the small, suffocating tunnel. But I didn't care as I looked at my hand and saw it burrowing its tiny spearhead below my skin. I grabbed at the wiggling tail still exposed and tried pulling it out.
It was like trying to pull our barbed wire. The spines on its body were facing me. So with each pull they dug deeper inside. I could see blood pooling under my skin, it was starting to turn purple as I tugged on its tail even harder. Until it gave. Popped right off and lay twitching in my hand. The head missing.
I couldn't take it anymore. Really. I had tried my best. I shake my head. "Bobbie. Bobbie. I'm sorry." But it didn't matter. When I looked over at Bobbie. He was covered in it. All of it. Even the spiders.
My jeans started shifting as I tried to wiggle myself out of there. But I hear Max's cry again. "Camilia! Please!"
"No," I whimpered. Shaking. I couldn't reach my hand in there again. But his voice was so scared. More scared than the pain I felt.
I shot my arm inside. Bracing. Waiting for the pain. But there was none. Instead my hands grasped around his collar and I felt his cold clammy skin, and yanked him from the hole. He came without much struggle. His face covered in the soot of it all. "Camilia," he cried. "You picked me. You did it."
I didn't have the heart to tell him that I almost didn't.
"Come on," I cried. "We. Have. To go."
The two of us wiggled our way out of there, crawling on our hands and knees, and running when we could. We finally make it back into the study. And the fire is roaring now. One of the books fall from the shelves and when it hit the fire I swear it started screaming. There was so much smoke that I couldn't see. And the door was covered by the flames.
I pointed to the window, the curtains on the floor in ashes. I kick the window. It didn't budge. I coughed. I kicked it again. The glass shook. I kicked it again and my foot went through. Pieces of the glass still hung in the frame, I use the tips of my fingers and pull them back. They fall to the floor cracking until there was a hole big enough for me to get through.
I plunge my head out and take my first breath of fresh air. The moon was full and the sky was clear. I could hear sirens coming off in the distance. When both of my feet were on the roof. I reach my hand back and grab Max from the burning house. Together we run across the clay tiles and climb down the arched tree. The red fire truck comes screeching to a stop as several firemen help us down.
One of them pushes a breathing mask on me, and wraps me up. The neighbors are outside, and the police arrive. I see a familiar car come roaring down the street, screaming to a halt as Molly runs out. Her face is flustered and she's shouting. Pushing through the cops until she reaches me next to the ambulance.
"What happened," she literally screamed at me.
"I'm so sorry," I tell her. "There were these men." I take another breath. "I couldn't do anything! B-but I saved Max! I saved him!"
She looked at the house. It was blazing now in the cool night. "Oh my god. Is Bobbie still in there?" Molly starts to cry. "My baby!"
"Max. But Max." I cough. "Max is okay!"
And she turns to me. I wasn't expecting her to be grateful. But there's anger on her face. "You didn't save my son. But you saved our dog?"
I shake my head. "No. Max. Your other son." I looked around but he was nowhere to be found.
​
s

Where do I start? I am not exactly the bride who had been thinking of their wedding since they were a little girl but I have been a professional wedding photographer since the age of 17 so I have a ton of experience with weddings. When my boyfriend proposed to me at 38 years old, I thought I knew all the trials and tribulations I was getting into with at least a thousand weddings behind me. The parts I didn't factor was 1) I was planning a wedding across the country and 2) it was going to be at my MIL house... hang-ups any seasoned pro will still experience. And hang ups we had a plenty.
But those issues aren't even necessarily what bring me here. It took me some time to process and find a place to actually feel like I ENJOYED my wedding and then process the guilt of all of those feelings. The fallout of friendships from weddings is something I don't think gets talked about enough. As a wedding photographer, I've seen this many, many times and never understood it. But here I am, having damaged friendships of 2+ decades and I am puzzled as to why/how I am here. "She must have been an awful bridezilla and demanding" -- but truly, not at all, I had a color choice and said have at it with your dress, my number one goal is I want you to feel beautiful and have a dress you will wear again. I had no expectations of elaborate bachelorette parties and wearing a lot of bride tribe kind of crap. For full disclosure, and I might lose some of you here, I did have a mini bachelorette party in Rome, Italy with my maid (BFF) and matron (sister) of honor.... BUT they both live in the UK and I had a trip planned in Rome with my BFF already so they surprised me, making it a bachelorette thing. And I paid every part of my way, happily. And friends celebrated me in town with all the penis stuff and champagne a girl could want.... it was all so lovely. So I am not saying I went without.... My point is I was never demanding of it and only delighted and surprised. I have always been the friend to go above and beyond for friends in the past so it was lovey to feel that in return. And I was always the photographer at these monumental moments in others lives that felt like, perhaps, these moments might never be mine.About 5 weeks before my wedding, I lost a very dear friend of mine to leukemia. It was fast, merciless, and painful. My heart was broken and the dichotomy between celebrating a day I honestly thought might never happen and also grieving a tremendous loss was very hard to process. Grieving the pain of all those around me grieving. It was so complicated. I tried so hard to find joy because that is what my friend would have wanted but my heart going in was heavy. I knew I needed my friends.So the wedding week comes, I say week because we planned all sorts of fun events for our guests like party bus trips through P-Town, a welcome sunset cruise over Hyannis Harbor as a thank you for all of our guest.... some guests got COVID traveling to or at the wedding. Luckily no one was hospitalized and all guests were vaccinated but this became somehow my fault in the eyes of some? One of my bridesmaids and her hubby both got it and based on when he became symptomatic, it would have been during travel to the wedding but it seemed like the blame was being placed on me. These bridesmaids have basically walked away from our nearly two decade friendship and won't give me even the slightest explanation why. The last time I saw them was the day after the wedding. I have begged for more understanding but they won't talk to me about it but will send me tweets they find amusing. And I just try to give them the thumbs up to be present but I am so hurt, I don't understand where they went. We shared our souls on a regular basis and our sisterhood is just gone. I was at both of their weddings, picking flowers, making bouquets, doing hair and make-up for bridesmaids, was a braidsmaid while ALSO BEING THEIR PHOTOGRAPHER as my gift. FOR FREE. I thought if anyone in the world would be ready to celebrate me, it would have been these ladies.Further fall out... my dearest bf of 21 years was our best officiant of honor, meaning he married us but was also like my best man. He was a champion for me all year when several weren't. His support meant more than I could have ever explained, though I tried every chance possible to thank him profusely. We had an open bar at our wedding and that comes with the usual casualties. I had not been drinking much because I wanted to really soak the day in, and with that, I also got a different view of what hot messes some of my friends can be when drunk. My BF's hubby was getting very out of hand, getting handsy with other guests, leaving cigarette butts all over my MIL's gorgeous property (as were others), telling people to eff off (including me) so he was asked to leave. It was a topic that should have been discussed sooner over coffee but as I mentioned earlier, I was reeling for months over the events of the wedding.... many others that won't be on this post, I just wasn't ready to talk about it. I know it was a mistake for me to have not addressed it sooner because my friends husband is a realtor and I had to build up the nerve to tell him we would not be using him to buy our home. My husband is adamant after seeing his disrespectful behavior on several events and honestly, I have a realtor I have worked with for a long time who I love and respect well beyond this wedding drama. This is where the second set of bombs started going off from my bf. The rage, hate spewing from his texts and toxicity is more than I expected and damn well more than I deserve. I've tried to take a few routes to operate this in a way that would be constructive, I've tried to arrange times to sit and talk. We were clearly not getting anywhere, it got to the point we had to have another ordained officiant person sign our marriage license so it didn't expire, which really broke my heart.Losing my friend to cancer so young and so quickly has shifted so much in my perspective on life and relationships, I just want to shake these other issues out and say "we haven't got time for this! Time is so special, we can't keep wasting it on this crap" and in many ways I have said it. But, here I am. Rambling on reddit. I try to talk to my husband about how difficult this has all been and it's met with some compassion and some defensiveness. Running into people, I get a lot of "how's the honeymoon stage!?" and I can't help but wonder when I will get there. I love my husband so dearly so this really isn't even about him. But he can't be my everything nor do I want that from him.We, as a society, don't talk about the fallout and some of the loneliness of weddings. The post wedding feelings of the financially, emotionally taxing process. While the scenarios I have written about are mine, they are not as unique as you might think and I guess my hope is there is a chance to have some dialog about after the wedding. What happens with friendships, and dynamics, and where to go next. If it's not been rainbows and unicorns and magic after your wedding, you are not alone.

I want a very simple (first) tattoo on my inner forearm, starting from the elbow and. It will be of the single word ‘Persevere’.
Before my consult with the tattooist next week I am trying to land on a bold clean font that is likely to age well. I may have some simple detail around it.
The word is a reminder that I have, and must continue to persevere.
Any suggestions welcome. Also, WTF is the deal with ‘Shrimps are bugs’ clearly being a hot topic on this subreddit?
Cheers,
47 square looking dude.

Great place for team discussion/whatever Serie A related topics you would like to bring up. Examples: Transfers, rumors, players from other teams, things you miss about the old days etc. Whatever you want as long as it isn't too off-topic.
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• History of AC Milan
  • Part 1 - From Kilpin to GreNoLi (1899-1950)
  • Part 2 - The end of the trophy drought and projecting the future (1950-1959)
  • Part 3 - Becoming part of the European elite (1960-1969)
  • Part 4 - Hunting the 10th Scudetto (1970-1979)
  • Part 5 - The lowest of lows and the highest of highs (1980-1989)
  • Part 6 - Sacchi's immortals, Capello's invincibles and Zaccheroni's centenary scudetto (1990-1999)
  • Part 7 - New millenium, same old Milan (2000-2009)
  • Part 8 - One last spark, the end of the Berlusconi era and the provincialization (2009-2019) - part 1
  • Part 9 - One last spark, the end of the Berlusconi era and the provincialization (2009-2019) - part 2

Sorry I didn't update last week (I had to deal with a situationship with a friend; he had been MIA during his trip to Japan, got back last week to tell me how he missed me, wanted to hug and kiss me (even got me something from his holiday!) only to block me a day later. I'm not ashamed to admit that I had been crying over it last week and lost appetite and whatnot, but I'm slowly getting over it. Had he left me on the silent treatment, probably won't hurt as bad. He had to get my hopes so high up before he suddenly blocked me; last conversation wasn't terrible, no fights or anything. But enough about that).
So last week, nothing much happened. Besides my disclaimer above, I didn't want to always appear like I wanted to talk to my hot classmate all the time lol
Today we had an interesting topic about digital marketing; we're always split into respective groups with neighbours of our seating area, so my hot classmate was with this other group on the other side. Anyways, after the rest of the class has spoken, when his group's turn had finished, I jumped in to say something about their points.
I said something about how could we put so much trust in data when we know consumers could falsify about them and thus make our analytics inaccurate. Just as I finished my sentence, my hot classmate goes, "Oh, yes, that's right. That's very true." He looked at me as I went on and he started talking about fake reviews and bots, so the whole class started raving about it.
Then when the class ended, I sneaked out of the row of seats and nearly bumped into him.
"Oops, sorry," I said.
He had a wide smile and nodded, "No, it's alright. After you, please."
I smiled, said thank you and just went off. I used the staircase; I needed to head to the loo and I don't see him or anyone there actually. But when I was downstairs, I had to stop by one of the benches to fix my shoelaces. Had to duck away from a couple of people who passed by too closely to my head as I was looking down.
When I looked back up, I caught him walking past and fixing up a bicycle helmet on his head. We locked eyes and he smiled again.
"Heya, you alright there?"
"I'm just fixing my shoelaces. See you"
That was it.
But next week!
I'm going to try and ask him out. I'm ready for rejection, ngl. Like there's no way someone like him is single or if he was, maybe he's gay. Of course, it's entirely fine for him to want to be single and is happy being that way. I'm also ready if he says he's not looking for anything, which is why at this point, I'd settle to have a (guy) friend, I'll be honest.
I've been emotionally wrecked by that friend I mentioned and I nearly felt hopeless over meeting someone (even as a friend), but I decided to see things differently. Sure, I'm hurt and things but I don't regret meeting him and this experience opened my eyes on a lot of things about myself and things I've missed out on. I've also missed out on potentially better guys out there.
I know I'm an introvert and I'm happy that way, but I want to be able to compartmentalise being happy alone and yet able to mingle if I must. I like to socialise but I do have a limit to it (social battery). I'd hide away and hibernate after a few days of mingling, lol
Anyways, yeah, I'm getting better at forgetting that "friend" of mine. He was doing something immature just because he couldn't sit down with himself and accept his insecurities/trust issues (he's done this to another girl where they had an almost long distance relationship; the moment he gets too close to someone, he pulls back). I could theorise all day about this but it doesn't stop the fact that he didn't treat me right nor as an adult (and I'm 5 years older lol).
So yeah, I'm moving on... even though I had real feelings. I've watered this plant for so long when he said he missed me I thought I was finally "seen". But he just stomped on it. I'll still care for the plant, it's still valid and real just because someone else doesn't/can't appreciate it.
OK so look forward to next week lol 😆

This has been reoccurring problem for the past three years. My friend, Ben (22M) has been buying things for me (24F) for and spamming my phone with texts and it gets on my nerves.
We've got to know each other through one of my close friends three years ago. Since he lived in another country, we've only texted, but a year later he moved to my town and started attending the same university as me, but he's different major and on different faculty. Since then we've been hanging out a lot when I can go. I'm in my last year of my Master's degree, so I don't have much time to spare.
Me and Ben are like lost twins according to my friends. We like the same things, movies, music. We have similar hobbies, like same sports, did same sports. Love dogs. We watched the same things as kids. The only thing we don't agree on is food. While he eats everything, I am kind of a picky eater. I hate cheese, any kind of meat other than chicken and some kinds of fish, and then mushrooms. Other than that there are foods I dislike, but it's not that bad and when I have to eat them I'll eat them, but wouldn't prepare them or order them.
Though sometimes he texts me if I want grilled cheese, or Blue cheese pasta or some meat dish to which I reply that I hate those foods. He replies that he's asking if I changed my mind which I didn't and don't think I will change any time soon.
Ever since we started texting, I noticed one big problem about him. He's super big texted, like he messages 20 times in like an hour with spam of 'Hi. How are you? What are you doing? Then random facts...' He does this like 4-5 times a day. I am not fan of texting, nor calling and everyone in my friend group knows. I've told him multiple times that I can't text back when I'm studying as I don't look at my phone 24/7 so he backs off for like two, or three days and then he's back at it. Then when I'm not responding, he starts asking if he's being annoying, then he tells me he'll text later. Or when I'm working on a presentation, he texts me to come hang out with him that he'll prepare something for me, to take a break for an hour, but I honestly can't spare even the hour. I work on 3-4 hours of sleep and I barely eat. While he takes uni life like every other day, for me it's very important to finish my studies. Recently he started asking more personal questions about my family (not like how my siblings or my parents are, he wants to know what exactly is wrong since my best friend asked hows everything back home and I honestly told her it'd not that good, Ben was there too, but I didn't know he overheard us, then he asked me to give him more details, but I said no, I am not that close with him to share that personal info) and my health (which is not like I would want it to be). He asked about it over the year several times, saying one person carrying a burden must be hard, that telling him may lift some weight off my shoulders, but each time I told him no. Not even my best friend knows all the stuff since it's very, very personal. Or when I tell him I can't text him since I have an important lecture, he text me constantly about how the subject goes, if it's hard lesson, random facts about the topic if I text him back.
He also gives me compliments which I've repeatedly told him I hate receiving and am uncomfortable by them. I don't mind those like 'Your hair look nice. You bought a new dress, it's pretty. Or did you get your nails done, I like what you chose.' but he compliments go like this, 'You're beautiful, smart, intelligent, kind, caring, friendly...' I don't know why but I find them uncomfortable and told him repeatedly to stop. He didn't.
Then every time we're hanging out, he buys stuff for me. When I'm hungry, he buys it. I like something, but the price makes me turn around, he buys it for me. I have money. I mention something I think about buying, the next day I have it. It's so uncomfortable. Money are no problem, but I avoid buying expensive stuff now since I'm saving up for an apartment. Or when I'm at work he messages me constantly asking what food I want as he wants to walk with me home and he will spam me until I reply, or he buys me something. Or when I achieve something like when I pass my exams, he's immediately texting me, 'Dinner's on me.' And he doesn't want to take my money for it, since he offered. I started making excuses why I can't go, but I can't say no all the time since many of those times are with our friends.
Ben buying all this stuff for me is making me super uncomfortable and I've told him dozen of times to stop. But he doesn't. He even said that he'd gladly spend his whole salary on me. That I'm the only person who deserves it. Since my hardwork needs to be appreciated. But I hate it.
And he does it only to me. No one else. Because I'm special or whatever's that supposed to mean.
My friends think it's cute and that he likes me and that he cares about me. But I don't know if that's not true, since he thinks I'm attracted to girls apparently. Once I jokingly said that I have to go since I have a date with Batman (to watch the newest movie), and I added that maybe even the whole Justice League (since I wanted to see the latest movie), he jokingly asked 'Even women?' to which I replied, 'Have you seen Wonder Woman? She's hot,' and since then he's been making constant comments like, 'You need to find a woman who will treat you right. You need to find a woman who will prepare a meals for you when you forget to eat while studying. You need to find a woman... yadda yadda yadda. You get it.' Now I really don't know if he's joking and likes me, or he thinks it's really the case.
When I told my friends I'm looking for an apartment, he immediately suggested moving together. That I don't need to worry about anything, that only I make him my 'testing rat' since I like experimenting in the kitchen and trying out new recipes and he loves tasting them.
The only person who is on my side is my cousin who disliked Ben from the first moment she heard about him and her dislike grew as soon as she saw a picture of him. She offered to put him in his place, but I told her I'd like to take care of it myself.
I don't plan on moving with him. While I may have liked him a bit in the beginning, my feelings disappeared. Other than that he's kind guy but enough is enough.
Do you know what I should do? How to make him understand that it's making me uncomfortable? I'm really desperate and no one other than my cousin is not on my side, they say I'm overreacting and should enjoy the attention I'm recieving. Help?