Urgent care 64th street and greenway

This story needs to be told. Those who have suffered must understand why. It’s not as simple as some have made it to be, which is why it needs to come from the person most responsible… me.
It began when I was least expecting it. But then don’t things always seem to happen that way?
***
“I’m tellin' ya, doc, people just don’t understand,” Frederick said while rocking back and forth in the chair.
“What exactly don’t they understand?” I said, trying to look more relaxed than I felt.
“There’s just something that takes over. You can’t stop it.”
“Impulse control?”
“What’s that mean?” Frederick said, struggling against his straight jacket, trying to get comfortable.
“It means that when you want to do something, you try your hardest not to. It means you try to control or suppress the urge to do things you know are bad.”
Frederick’s mouth lolled open. He narrowed his eyes in confusion.
“Why would I want to do that?”
I suppressed the urge to sigh.
“Because that’s what people do,” I said. “They think about doing bad things, but then they control themselves and don’t do them because those things are wrong and could hurt other people.”
“Hurting people is wrong?” he said.
“Yes, Frederick, hurting people is wrong.”
He shook his head as if he were trying to shake away a fly that was annoying him.
“Why?”
“Why is hurting people wrong?”
“No, why are you telling me this?”
“I don’t understand.”
“You’re saying I’m bad,” he said trying to rise from his chair. “You’re saying I didn’t need to hurt those people. That I’m a bad person.”
I got up from my chair and started backing toward the heavy metal door.
“I’m not bad!” he yelled at me. “You’re bad!”
I knocked on the door and the orderly opened it as Frederick got to his feet.
I slipped through the door as it slammed shut from the impact of his body slamming into it.
“Bad, bad, bad,” he screamed.
“Badbadbadbadbadbadbadbad!”
Spit flew from his mouth landing on the small observation window with metal grates embedded in it.
“You ok, doc,” the orderly said, startling me.
“Yes, I’m fine, thank you.”
I turned and walked down the white hallway, hoping the orderly wouldn’t notice the quickness in my step. I ignored the sound of Frederick beating on the door. I ignored all the sounds I heard. I just wanted to get away.
It was a long walk to my office, through many security gates. At each one, the nurse buzzed me through and gave me an acknowledging look that used to be a smile.
I suppose this place gets to everyone eventually.
I finally reached my office, closed and locked the door behind me, and collapsed into my chair. I breathed out a sigh of relief at reaching relative safety. I turned and looked out my window to the beautiful flowers blooming on the trees in the courtyard. I looked up at the tree stretching toward the sky.
I remember when they planted those.
I turned back to my center, my means of solace, the only thing that mattered in this cruel, unfair world. I picked up the picture of my lovely wife and smiled. She was the one who kept me sane all these years. She kept me seeing the best in people. Or at least trying. Sometimes there was no good to see—especially in my patients.
It takes a special kind of doctor to care for the mental needs of those who have done heinous things that are so bad they don’t even bother sending them to prison. They send them to me.
I’m like the dumpster for the dregs of society. Just drop them in the asylum and forget about them.
I kissed my wife and set her back on the bare desk, then turned on my computer and added notes from today’s session. There was never a recommendation for release. Once patients came here the only way they left was in a body bag. There was no curing them, only trying to make them docile until they left.
Oh, there were experiments. That was a large part of how we were funded. Companies would pay for certain tests to be done. Some might call it torture, but we called it research.
I finished typing my notes and leaned back in my seat. The diplomas and degrees stared down from their perches on the bare walls, mocking me. Demanding why I hadn’t gotten a better job.
As usual, I didn’t have an answer.
My office suddenly felt stuffy. I closed down my computer and left. Driving down the packed freeway, all I could think about was collapsing on the couch beside my lovely Elizabeth. Not telling her about my day until she dragged it out of me, then listening to her encourage me to help those who have been left in my care, because I’m the only hope they have.
Traffic was bumper to bumper and not helping my overall opinion of humanity much. Especially when a car that was swerving from lane to lane, nearly sideswiped me. It kept going on in front of me, nearly hitting several other cars.
The driver and passenger seemed to be having a disagreement about how to drive the car and it looked like it was about to come to blows.
Fortunately, they were soon out of sight, and someone else’s problem.
For the next few miles, I kept watching the side of the road waiting to see the offending car sitting in a ditch. However, they surprised me. They must’ve turned off to go terrorize some neighborhood streets with their reckless driving.
I hummed to myself, not wanting to have whatever dreck was on the radio forced on me.
When I was nearly to my exit, my phone rang. I immediately recognized the number as work. I contemplated answering it for a moment, then thought better of it. There had never been a time when work called with good news. And I was in no mood for bad news.
I hummed a little louder, trying to drown out the sound of the ring before it finally stopped.
The closer I got to home the less I thought about work and the more I thought about Elizabeth. Until I turned off at my exit, I had nearly forgotten work altogether. Maybe I would take tomorrow off and go do something with my wife. We hadn’t been out for a while. The weather had been lovely and I know she would adore a walk down by the lake.
My thoughts were interrupted when I turned down our driveway and saw a car in front of the house. It wasn’t quite in the driveway, it was sitting at an angle halfway in the front yard.
I parked my car and slowly got out. Something struck me about this car, but I hadn’t figured out what. I approached the driver’s side to have words with the person still sitting at the wheel.
“Excuse me,” I said staying a few steps back from the driver’s door.
He didn’t answer me.
“Excuse me,” I said a little louder.
Still no answer.
I tapped on the window and he ignored me.
I opened the door.
“Okay, look… “ I said.
But it was I who would do the looking. The man fell out of the car, thudding on the grass. The inside of the car was covered in blood. I looked down and the man’s throat had been cut.
“Oh my God!” I said jumping back.
I watched to see if the man was breathing, but the way his neck was bent at an unnatural angle against my yard told me everything I needed to know.
I glanced through the car but didn’t see the passenger.
It was then my eyes drifted to my front door.
It was open.
I stepped through the shrubs and up onto the porch, walking in a daze. The surrealness of the moment had yet to sink in. I was going inside to check on my wife and make sure everything was ok.
It didn’t strike me as anything more than that.
‘Oh, she just left the door open, that’s all.’
My mind kept trying to tell me that. I wanted desperately to believe it. Even though she had never been that careless during the entire time we’d been married. I had pushed aside all reason and common sense in favor of pure denial.
Everything was going to be ok. With Elizabeth, everything was always ok. She could literally light up a room with her positivity. She was the best person I ever knew. I have no idea how I got so lucky as to know her, let alone be her husband.
I floated in through my front door on my cloud of denial and looked for my wife.
It didn’t take me long to find her.
There was one wall of the living room she was constantly redecorating. She always said it looked bare and empty no matter what she did with it.
She was hanging from that wall, naked, her beautiful body desecrated by slices and rips. Her throat had been slit and blood still poured from it.
I ran to her.
Tried to take her down.
Screamed her name.
And then it was my turn to scream.
I looked down and saw a knife blade sticking out from my abdomen. It was part of the cutlery set I had gotten for Elizabeth three Christmases ago.
I screamed as I slowly turned to face my attacker.
“What’s up, doc?” Frederick said wearing a maniacal grin.
The shock had punched a hole in my reasoning. I saw him standing there, but I couldn’t accept it any more than I could accept my beautiful wife strung up like a macabre painting hanging on our living room wall.
My eyes tried to focus on his face. To make me recognize him as a threat.
“How’s that impulse control workin’ for ya, doc?”
He ripped the knife out of my back.
The pain, along with his arrogance woke me from my shock-induced stupor.
“Now do you understand?” he said, as he shoved the knife into my belly.
I did understand. I understood at that moment that I was already as dead as my wife. I knew that this piece of human garbage had taken something beautiful from this world. I knew I had to do something about it before there was nothing I could do. Before my body succumbed to injuries and I was unable.
I grabbed him by the throat. He tried to laugh, but my grip was fueled by desperation.
He tried to free himself but couldn’t. He began stabbing me over and over. I refused to release him. I carried him by his neck over to the kitchen counter and began bashing his head off the marble.
I was rewarded with spots of his blood. I knew at least I had made him bleed and that made me smile. His eyes grew wide as my grin grew maniacal. I smashed him repeatedly, crushing him against the sink, breaking the faucet, and causing water to spray into the air.
His eyelids fluttered as he lost his grip on the knife.
He was nearly gone. I would take him with me and that would be my parting gift to the world, removing something so evil.
Suddenly, my body wouldn’t obey commands. My grip loosened. I tried to tighten it, but I had lost all control. I looked down and I was standing in a pool of my own blood.
His eyes fluttered open and he coughed.
‘Nonononononono!’ I thought. ‘He can’t live. He can’t win. I had him.’
He stood as I sank to the floor.
“Looks like maybe you do understand, doc,” he said from what seemed like miles away. “Too bad you won’t be around to discuss it. We could have a session and evaluate how it makes you feel.”
His foot came down on my spine. I felt a crack. He started kicking me in the side repeatedly. Splashing water and blood on me as I felt my ribs crack.
I fought with everything I had.
My body didn’t even twitch.
‘Nooooo!,’ I screamed. ‘It can’t end like this.’
I heard a sizzling sound and then there was darkness.
***
I could feel movement.
Wasn’t I dead?
Was this what happened after?
It was still dark.
‘Hello?’ I tried to say.
Nothing. Just the sensation of movement.
Am I in a body bag? Am I on my way to the morgue or the grave? Please don’t let me be buried alive.
But I’m not alive, am I?
I don’t feel any pain. That’s a good thing, but not a good sign. The last thing I remember was lots of pain.
Suddenly there’s light and my movement stops.
I look up from the floor of a house I don’t recognize.
‘Where the hell am I?’
I’m on the floor next to a wall, looking up at an electrical outlet. Nothing around me seems familiar. I try to stand but it feels weird. It isn’t difficult, and there’s still no pain, it just carries an odd sensation with it. Like my body is just relearning things. Just like when I was a toddler. I teeter back and forth as I rise, but eventually, I’m upright.
My first few steps are tentative, but after that, I gain confidence with each stride.
Aside from the strange surroundings, there’s a sensation, like ants crawling all over me.
I pass a bathroom and glance inside. The reflection in the mirror draws me back. I slowly approach it, seeing something unique and terrifying.
It looks like someone drew an outline of a human form using a lightning bolt. The electricity shimmers and crackles as it races around the empty form of the being.
I wonder if it will hurt me.
Not sure if I want to test the limits of my newfound lack of pain, I hesitantly reach for this creature. It reaches for me at the same time. I’m mesmerized by this mutual curiosity.
My hand is about to touch the electric pulse shaped like its hand. I tremble with anticipation and fear as we touch.
Surprisingly, I don’t feel any pain. I don’t feel anything except a hard surface.
I move my hand back and forth. The creature does the same. I make quicker movements, and so does it.
Finally, out of frustration, I reach back and strike at the creature.
My hand strikes the hard surface and it splinters. There are now multiple creatures staring back at me.
I step back and come to the horrible realization.
I am the creature.
***
One month later…
“And police have been unable to find any credible leads in the string of brutal killings that began shortly after the patient escaped from the mental hospital last month,” the handsome anchorman stated from behind his desk. “They are asking people to call in if they know the whereabouts of Frederick Winston, now known as, ‘The Mangler’.”
“In other news, the Larsan Electric Company has issued a statement that the recent power surges are no cause for alarm. These surges seem to be random in people's homes and certain businesses. An LEC spokesman stated that there appears to be no pattern to the surges and that so far no one has reported them causing any harm. LEC is tracking down the problem and should have it under control soon.”
The anchorman shifted in his seat and turned to another camera.
“And on a lighter note, with Halloween months away, it seems that reports of ghosts are on the rise,” he said, wearing a half grin. “Several area residents have reported what they call a ghostlike figure, outlined in light, visiting them. Reports vary as to the duration and location of the visits, but they do seem to have a few things in common. The visits are usually short. In fact, most people say that if they blink the figure is gone. No one has reported the ghost doing any harm. And it seems like anyone within close proximity feels a tingling sensation and their hair standing on end.”
“Maybe I should be visited instead of my next hairdresser’s appointment,” the attractive woman anchor said with a laugh.
“Schedule me a visit too,” the male anchor said smiling. “And that’s our news for the evening, good night.”
Jimmy switched the channel.
“Gimme a break,” he said to the TV. “Ghosts? Who’s playing what? This’s some marketing scheme to sell Halloween crap. Like that stunt they pulled a few years back with the clowns hanging around the schools to promote that stupid movie.”
He switched off the TV and rolled over in his bed.
It wasn’t long before his breathing slowed. But before sleep could take him, he noticed a glow in the hallway. He didn’t remember leaving any lights on when he came to bed. Living alone had its advantages. If he heard someone in his apartment, he knew they weren’t supposed to be there. He slowly reached over to the bedstand and pulled out his Glock 9mm handgun, then held it close and listened.
He watched as the glow moved. It seemed like someone was looking around. But for what? He didn’t really have anything aside from his TV, phone, and video games. If anyone wanted those, they would be in a world of hurt. He had been lucky to get this apartment. If he was honest with himself, it cost more than he could afford, but when he had the chance he took it. It was too bad the opening came because the person who lived there before him was one of The Mangler’s victims. That’s probably why he was able to rent the place so quickly and get the price down to where he could almost afford it.
Maybe the glow was one of the street people who were stupid enough to see if there was an empty apartment to claim. That wasn’t gonna fly either. Jimmy had jumped on this apartment to get away from the dingy rat hole he used live in on the other side of town. And there was no way he’d let some bum come in here and take what was his.
The glow crept closer. He could feel the hairs on his arms raise. There was a sound too. It wasn’t loud, almost felt more than heard. A soft crackle, like electricity when it sparked.
The sensory input was almost too much for Jimmy to take. He pointed the gun in the direction of the glow and saw the barrel was shaking. His resolve, that he could deal with anyone as long as he had his gun, was beginning to fade.
The glow became so bright that it finally took form.
Jimmy’s eyes widened. It was the form of a person, just like the news had said.
It seemed to look around the room, then settle its gaze on the bed. Jimmy began to sweat as it approached and stared into his eyes.
It was the oddest thing, staring into what should be eyes, but nothing was there. The flashes of mini lightning bolts formed shapes that looked almost human, but it was just an outline, there was nothing inside what should be the body.
He shoved the shaking gun out from under the blanket and pointed it at the glowing figure.
The figure noted the presence of the gun, then continued to advance.
“S… stop,” Jimmy said. “I’m w… warning you.”
The figure ignored the warning.
Jimmy squeezed the trigger, setting off a deafening shot that went right through the face of the figure.
It acted as though nothing had happened, continuing to advance. The ringing in Jimmy’s ears made all sound seem muffled.
The figure stopped two inches from Jimmy’s face.
“Mangler… “ it said, sounding less like a voice and more like a transmission over an old staticky radio.
“I… I’m not the Mangler,” he said. “The person who used to live here was killed by him.”
It seemed to ponder this for a moment.
“Find Mangler… “ it said.
“I d… don’t know where to find him.”
It moved an inch closer. As the flashes of electricity arced, licked hungrily at Jimmy’s face.
“Find… him… “
“Ok, ok, I’ll find him,” Jimmy said, feeling the heat from the electricity.
The figure seemed to consider that for a moment then backed away. It moved toward the bedroom wall. Then, like someone had turned on a vacuum, it was sucked into an electrical outlet and disappeared.
Jimmy laid back in bed, breathing hard. His eyes darted left and right all around the room. But the only evidence of the figure that remained was the bullet hole in his bedroom wall.
***
The trips through the electrical conduits had become easier. There were still times when I came out someplace I didn’t intend to, but I was usually able to recover quickly and get to where I wanted to go.
But where did I want to go? At first, I wandered around, lost in this new form I found myself trapped inside. It was only after I had overheard a news report about the serial killer they called The Mangler that I gained my purpose.
Of course, Frederick was going to keep killing. Of course, they weren’t going to be able to catch him. He’d been inside away from his victims before and he didn’t like it. Not being able to torture and kill innocents was like a normal person not being able to breathe. Not that I know much about normal or breathing anymore.
I suppose on some level I should thank him. I thought about it for a long time and the only thing that makes any kind of sense is when we were fighting, somehow the water and blood I was laying in got splashed into the electrical socket. Instead of killing me, it bonded with me, making me able to become the electrical current. To ride it like a wave to wherever I wanted.
I became faster than any person ever was. And yet, I wasn’t a person anymore. I have no idea how I retained my consciousness, let alone my memory. But somehow…
I justify it by the old adage, ‘I think therefore I am.’
My life has become an endless hunt for the person who destroyed me, the person I must destroy. I don’t even know what I’ll do when I find him. But I will find him. I will stop him. This time, I won’t fail. I’ll end him like I should’ve before.
I owe it to the people he’s tortured and killed since my failure. Most of all, I owe it to my wife. I know she wouldn’t approve of my bloodlust. She would say there must be some other option. But if she would be able to see her dead body hanging naked from our living room wall, I think she just might change her mind.
My thoughts are interrupted as I arrive at my next destination, another victim’s house. I’m not sure what I’ll find that the police haven’t, but I have to try. Maybe I can pick up his scent somehow. A plan almost assuredly doomed to failure since I lost all sense of smell in the transformation.
I’m surprised though that I can still see and hear. I suppose waves of light and sound somehow intersect with my electrical body and it senses them. I don’t question it. I’ve learned to just go with it.
On the plus side, I don’t have to worry about eating, drinking, or using the bathroom. I guess there’s an upside to everything. Elizabeth would be so proud of me.
I arrive at the room where the victim was murdered. Looking around there’s still blood everywhere, along with evidence markers where they took pictures.
The sheer amount of blood tells me he took his time. He desecrated this girl in her own room. Her parents must’ve been out because there’s no way they didn’t hear the struggle. There were books on the floor, a chair overturned, and blood everywhere. The room was a disaster. It looked like she fought him. I wish she would’ve succeeded where I had failed.
But then, I wish I hadn’t failed, and this girl was still alive.
There’s nothing I can do now except find him and end him.
Finding him was proving more difficult than I thought. I had unlimited access to anywhere with electricity, but I couldn’t use a computer or a GPS. I was limited to transportation only through electricity. Granted that still made me the fastest being alive. I say being because I don’t think I qualify as human anymore. But I was limited to traveling to a place and then trying to find out where I was and if he was there.
If he knew I was searching for him all he would have to do is live the rest of his days in a cabin in the woods with no electricity. I’d never be able to reach him.
I believe two things worked in my favor with that theory.
First, I don’t think he’s that smart, and second, I don’t think he knows I’m looking for him. I believe that surviving our fight only further empowered him to kill. When someone feels invincible, they’re bound to make a mistake.
An officer walked into the room and I ducked back into an outlet. I was able to hang on where I was and watch from inside the outlet without being transported somewhere else.
The officer looked startled and stared at the empty air that I had just vacated. She looked like she was unsure if she trusted what her eyes had seen in the instant before I vanished.
She slowly stepped over to the corner and bent down to peer into the outlet. For a moment I wondered if she could see me, and what exactly she would see. But then her radio squawked calling her to another scene. When I heard the voice on the radio say the address and that they might have the killer cornered, I didn’t waste any time.
It was maybe fifteen seconds until I was across town at the address I’d heard. There was a lot of screaming and crying going on. I came out of the outlet and saw blood on the floor beside a body that wasn’t moving.
There was a girl being beaten by a man with his back to me. He turned to take another swing and I knew my search was over.
“My psychiatrist used to tell me I needed to work on my impulse control,” he said calmly as he slapped her. “I think I’m doing pretty good. I’ve been here ten whole minutes and you’re still alive.”
I shot across the room and knocked him to the floor. He jumped back up and looked around for what had hit him.
“What the hell?”
I saw the fear in his eyes when he saw me. I know Elizabeth would’ve been ashamed, of me, but I was enjoying his anxiety. After all he had done to me and so many others, I drank it in like an elixir.
He started edging toward the door. I was there in a heartbeat. His eyes darted back and forth between where I used to be and where I now stood. The panic in his eyes doubled.
I wanted to make him suffer, but I didn’t want to make the same mistake I’d made before and let him escape with his life.
I lashed out with a bolt that used to be my arm. The energy slashed through his shirt and fried a hole in his shoulder.
He screamed in pain and horror as he looked at the smoking hole in his skin. He tried to run but in an instant, I was there in front of him firing another bolt and searing the skin across his waist to his jeans.
His screams of pain and rage were only matched by the feral desperation in his eyes.
Not knowing what do to, he went with the familiar. Attack the innocent. He grabbed the girl who had been crawling away from the scene.
He grabbed her again and held her in front of him like a human shield.
What a waste of skin.
I fired a bolt into a ceiling light beside me which ricocheted and hit him full force in the leg, nearly severing it.
He went down like a ton of bricks, trying to hold on to his hostage, but she was fighting to get away from him. She broke free and he crumpled to the floor.
“What do you want?” he screamed at me.
With everything that is within me, I wanted to tell him who I was, what he had taken from me, and what I was about to take from him.
But I didn’t want to give the satisfaction. I wanted to give him only uncertainty and fear to cling to.
I could feel the seconds ticking away. I knew I had to make the most of this opportunity or he would get away again. And after this, I might never find him.
I unleashed every ounce of energy at him. I couldn’t even see him, he was only a smoking pillar of frying skin.
Just then, the police burst through the door.
“FREE… “ the first officer started then the shock of what he was seeing stole the rest of the word from his mouth.
He stood there, mouth agape when the female officer stepped in behind him. She looked at me and her wide eyes narrowed as she put two and two together and recognized me from the last crime scene.
I had no reason to fear. I didn’t know if I could even be harmed in my current state. But when you see that blue uniform burst through a door with a gun aimed at you, all rational thought takes a vacation.
I dove for the outlet and was gone. I didn’t even care where I was going. I knew I had done what I wanted to. The monster was destroyed.
Something felt different. Was it pride at finishing my crusade? Was it shame knowing Elizabeth wouldn’t have wanted me to do it?
I don’t know but there was something else. It was like there was added weight to my existence. I guess you can have a conscious in whatever you’d call this existence.
I appeared in the place that made the most sense, ironically. It was my old home. The one where everything I loved died, including me. It was where I took on this unintended new existence.
Is that why I felt this extra weight? Was it some cathartic aftereffect of my search for revenge that was finally over?
I looked around the charred debris of what used to be my home. In my mind's eye, I didn’t see the burned-out shell of what was left. I saw it as it was when we first moved in. When Elizabeth and I started decorating. When the interior was finally finished and I turned to her and said, “For now.” Knowing she would decide to change everything at some time in the future when she was bored, just like all women seem to do.
I remember getting a paintbrush across the mouth for that comment. I smiled remembering kissing her with my freshly painted mouth and ending up in the bedroom.
As I turned toward where I’d entered the house, my smile quickly faded. For some reason, I was still connected to the outlet. That had never happened before.
Another curiosity arose when I noticed the color of my electrical body was now tinged purple. It had always been blue before.
The tail of what had yet to come out of the outlet was red. As I pulled and it came the rest of the way out, it merged with me and turned purple.
“What the hell?” I heard someone say.
I whipped around but no one was there.
“Where am I?” the voice said.
“Who are you?” I said to the air.
There was a long silence.
“Doc?” the voice said.
As far as I knew it wasn’t possible for my spine to turn to ice, since I no longer had a spine, but the feeling seemed the same.
“Frederick?” I said.
“What happened?” he said. “This crazy electric thing attacked me and now… wait a minute. How am I talking to you? You died months ago.”
My shock gave way to utter despair. My enemy was now part of me.

This story needs to be told. Those who have suffered must understand why. It’s not as simple as some have made it to be, which is why it needs to come from the person most responsible… me.
It began when I was least expecting it. But then don’t things always seem to happen that way?
***
“I’m tellin' ya, doc, people just don’t understand,” Frederick said while rocking back and forth in the chair.
“What exactly don’t they understand?” I said, trying to look more relaxed than I felt.
“There’s just something that takes over. You can’t stop it.”
“Impulse control?”
“What’s that mean?” Frederick said, struggling against his straight jacket, trying to get comfortable.
“It means that when you want to do something, you try your hardest not to. It means you try to control or suppress the urge to do things you know are bad.”
Frederick’s mouth lolled open. He narrowed his eyes in confusion.
“Why would I want to do that?”
I suppressed the urge to sigh.
“Because that’s what people do,” I said. “They think about doing bad things, but then they control themselves and don’t do them because those things are wrong and could hurt other people.”
“Hurting people is wrong?” he said.
“Yes, Frederick, hurting people is wrong.”
He shook his head as if he were trying to shake away a fly that was annoying him.
“Why?”
“Why is hurting people wrong?”
“No, why are you telling me this?”
“I don’t understand.”
“You’re saying I’m bad,” he said trying to rise from his chair. “You’re saying I didn’t need to hurt those people. That I’m a bad person.”
I got up from my chair and started backing toward the heavy metal door.
“I’m not bad!” he yelled at me. “You’re bad!”
I knocked on the door and the orderly opened it as Frederick got to his feet.
I slipped through the door as it slammed shut from the impact of his body slamming into it.
“Bad, bad, bad,” he screamed.
“Badbadbadbadbadbadbadbad!”
Spit flew from his mouth landing on the small observation window with metal grates embedded in it.
“You ok, doc,” the orderly said, startling me.
“Yes, I’m fine, thank you.”
I turned and walked down the white hallway, hoping the orderly wouldn’t notice the quickness in my step. I ignored the sound of Frederick beating on the door. I ignored all the sounds I heard. I just wanted to get away.
It was a long walk to my office, through many security gates. At each one, the nurse buzzed me through and gave me an acknowledging look that used to be a smile.
I suppose this place gets to everyone eventually.
I finally reached my office, closed and locked the door behind me, and collapsed into my chair. I breathed out a sigh of relief at reaching relative safety. I turned and looked out my window to the beautiful flowers blooming on the trees in the courtyard. I looked up at the tree stretching toward the sky.
I remember when they planted those.
I turned back to my center, my means of solace, the only thing that mattered in this cruel, unfair world. I picked up the picture of my lovely wife and smiled. She was the one who kept me sane all these years. She kept me seeing the best in people. Or at least trying. Sometimes there was no good to see—especially in my patients.
It takes a special kind of doctor to care for the mental needs of those who have done heinous things that are so bad they don’t even bother sending them to prison. They send them to me.
I’m like the dumpster for the dregs of society. Just drop them in the asylum and forget about them.
I kissed my wife and set her back on the bare desk, then turned on my computer and added notes from today’s session. There was never a recommendation for release. Once patients came here the only way they left was in a body bag. There was no curing them, only trying to make them docile until they left.
Oh, there were experiments. That was a large part of how we were funded. Companies would pay for certain tests to be done. Some might call it torture, but we called it research.
I finished typing my notes and leaned back in my seat. The diplomas and degrees stared down from their perches on the bare walls, mocking me. Demanding why I hadn’t gotten a better job.
As usual, I didn’t have an answer.
My office suddenly felt stuffy. I closed down my computer and left. Driving down the packed freeway, all I could think about was collapsing on the couch beside my lovely Elizabeth. Not telling her about my day until she dragged it out of me, then listening to her encourage me to help those who have been left in my care, because I’m the only hope they have.
Traffic was bumper to bumper and not helping my overall opinion of humanity much. Especially when a car that was swerving from lane to lane, nearly sideswiped me. It kept going on in front of me, nearly hitting several other cars.
The driver and passenger seemed to be having a disagreement about how to drive the car and it looked like it was about to come to blows.
Fortunately, they were soon out of sight, and someone else’s problem.
For the next few miles, I kept watching the side of the road waiting to see the offending car sitting in a ditch. However, they surprised me. They must’ve turned off to go terrorize some neighborhood streets with their reckless driving.
I hummed to myself, not wanting to have whatever dreck was on the radio forced on me.
When I was nearly to my exit, my phone rang. I immediately recognized the number as work. I contemplated answering it for a moment, then thought better of it. There had never been a time when work called with good news. And I was in no mood for bad news.
I hummed a little louder, trying to drown out the sound of the ring before it finally stopped.
The closer I got to home the less I thought about work and the more I thought about Elizabeth. Until I turned off at my exit, I had nearly forgotten work altogether. Maybe I would take tomorrow off and go do something with my wife. We hadn’t been out for a while. The weather had been lovely and I know she would adore a walk down by the lake.
My thoughts were interrupted when I turned down our driveway and saw a car in front of the house. It wasn’t quite in the driveway, it was sitting at an angle halfway in the front yard.
I parked my car and slowly got out. Something struck me about this car, but I hadn’t figured out what. I approached the driver’s side to have words with the person still sitting at the wheel.
“Excuse me,” I said staying a few steps back from the driver’s door.
He didn’t answer me.
“Excuse me,” I said a little louder.
Still no answer.
I tapped on the window and he ignored me.
I opened the door.
“Okay, look… “ I said.
But it was I who would do the looking. The man fell out of the car, thudding on the grass. The inside of the car was covered in blood. I looked down and the man’s throat had been cut.
“Oh my God!” I said jumping back.
I watched to see if the man was breathing, but the way his neck was bent at an unnatural angle against my yard told me everything I needed to know.
I glanced through the car but didn’t see the passenger.
It was then my eyes drifted to my front door.
It was open.
I stepped through the shrubs and up onto the porch, walking in a daze. The surrealness of the moment had yet to sink in. I was going inside to check on my wife and make sure everything was ok.
It didn’t strike me as anything more than that.
‘Oh, she just left the door open, that’s all.’
My mind kept trying to tell me that. I wanted desperately to believe it. Even though she had never been that careless during the entire time we’d been married. I had pushed aside all reason and common sense in favor of pure denial.
Everything was going to be ok. With Elizabeth, everything was always ok. She could literally light up a room with her positivity. She was the best person I ever knew. I have no idea how I got so lucky as to know her, let alone be her husband.
I floated in through my front door on my cloud of denial and looked for my wife.
It didn’t take me long to find her.
There was one wall of the living room she was constantly redecorating. She always said it looked bare and empty no matter what she did with it.
She was hanging from that wall, naked, her beautiful body desecrated by slices and rips. Her throat had been slit and blood still poured from it.
I ran to her.
Tried to take her down.
Screamed her name.
And then it was my turn to scream.
I looked down and saw a knife blade sticking out from my abdomen. It was part of the cutlery set I had gotten for Elizabeth three Christmases ago.
I screamed as I slowly turned to face my attacker.
“What’s up, doc?” Frederick said wearing a maniacal grin.
The shock had punched a hole in my reasoning. I saw him standing there, but I couldn’t accept it any more than I could accept my beautiful wife strung up like a macabre painting hanging on our living room wall.
My eyes tried to focus on his face. To make me recognize him as a threat.
“How’s that impulse control workin’ for ya, doc?”
He ripped the knife out of my back.
The pain, along with his arrogance woke me from my shock-induced stupor.
“Now do you understand?” he said, as he shoved the knife into my belly.
I did understand. I understood at that moment that I was already as dead as my wife. I knew that this piece of human garbage had taken something beautiful from this world. I knew I had to do something about it before there was nothing I could do. Before my body succumbed to injuries and I was unable.
I grabbed him by the throat. He tried to laugh, but my grip was fueled by desperation.
He tried to free himself but couldn’t. He began stabbing me over and over. I refused to release him. I carried him by his neck over to the kitchen counter and began bashing his head off the marble.
I was rewarded with spots of his blood. I knew at least I had made him bleed and that made me smile. His eyes grew wide as my grin grew maniacal. I smashed him repeatedly, crushing him against the sink, breaking the faucet, and causing water to spray into the air.
His eyelids fluttered as he lost his grip on the knife.
He was nearly gone. I would take him with me and that would be my parting gift to the world, removing something so evil.
Suddenly, my body wouldn’t obey commands. My grip loosened. I tried to tighten it, but I had lost all control. I looked down and I was standing in a pool of my own blood.
His eyes fluttered open and he coughed.
‘Nonononononono!’ I thought. ‘He can’t live. He can’t win. I had him.’
He stood as I sank to the floor.
“Looks like maybe you do understand, doc,” he said from what seemed like miles away. “Too bad you won’t be around to discuss it. We could have a session and evaluate how it makes you feel.”
His foot came down on my spine. I felt a crack. He started kicking me in the side repeatedly. Splashing water and blood on me as I felt my ribs crack.
I fought with everything I had.
My body didn’t even twitch.
‘Nooooo!,’ I screamed. ‘It can’t end like this.’
I heard a sizzling sound and then there was darkness.
***
I could feel movement.
Wasn’t I dead?
Was this what happened after?
It was still dark.
‘Hello?’ I tried to say.
Nothing. Just the sensation of movement.
Am I in a body bag? Am I on my way to the morgue or the grave? Please don’t let me be buried alive.
But I’m not alive, am I?
I don’t feel any pain. That’s a good thing, but not a good sign. The last thing I remember was lots of pain.
Suddenly there’s light and my movement stops.
I look up from the floor of a house I don’t recognize.
‘Where the hell am I?’
I’m on the floor next to a wall, looking up at an electrical outlet. Nothing around me seems familiar. I try to stand but it feels weird. It isn’t difficult, and there’s still no pain, it just carries an odd sensation with it. Like my body is just relearning things. Just like when I was a toddler. I teeter back and forth as I rise, but eventually, I’m upright.
My first few steps are tentative, but after that, I gain confidence with each stride.
Aside from the strange surroundings, there’s a sensation, like ants crawling all over me.
I pass a bathroom and glance inside. The reflection in the mirror draws me back. I slowly approach it, seeing something unique and terrifying.
It looks like someone drew an outline of a human form using a lightning bolt. The electricity shimmers and crackles as it races around the empty form of the being.
I wonder if it will hurt me.
Not sure if I want to test the limits of my newfound lack of pain, I hesitantly reach for this creature. It reaches for me at the same time. I’m mesmerized by this mutual curiosity.
My hand is about to touch the electric pulse shaped like its hand. I tremble with anticipation and fear as we touch.
Surprisingly, I don’t feel any pain. I don’t feel anything except a hard surface.
I move my hand back and forth. The creature does the same. I make quicker movements, and so does it.
Finally, out of frustration, I reach back and strike at the creature.
My hand strikes the hard surface and it splinters. There are now multiple creatures staring back at me.
I step back and come to the horrible realization.
I am the creature.
***
One month later…
“And police have been unable to find any credible leads in the string of brutal killings that began shortly after the patient escaped from the mental hospital last month,” the handsome anchorman stated from behind his desk. “They are asking people to call in if they know the whereabouts of Frederick Winston, now known as, ‘The Mangler’.”
“In other news, the Larsan Electric Company has issued a statement that the recent power surges are no cause for alarm. These surges seem to be random in people's homes and certain businesses. An LEC spokesman stated that there appears to be no pattern to the surges and that so far no one has reported them causing any harm. LEC is tracking down the problem and should have it under control soon.”
The anchorman shifted in his seat and turned to another camera.
“And on a lighter note, with Halloween months away, it seems that reports of ghosts are on the rise,” he said, wearing a half grin. “Several area residents have reported what they call a ghostlike figure, outlined in light, visiting them. Reports vary as to the duration and location of the visits, but they do seem to have a few things in common. The visits are usually short. In fact, most people say that if they blink the figure is gone. No one has reported the ghost doing any harm. And it seems like anyone within close proximity feels a tingling sensation and their hair standing on end.”
“Maybe I should be visited instead of my next hairdresser’s appointment,” the attractive woman anchor said with a laugh.
“Schedule me a visit too,” the male anchor said smiling. “And that’s our news for the evening, good night.”
Jimmy switched the channel.
“Gimme a break,” he said to the TV. “Ghosts? Who’s playing what? This’s some marketing scheme to sell Halloween crap. Like that stunt they pulled a few years back with the clowns hanging around the schools to promote that stupid movie.”
He switched off the TV and rolled over in his bed.
It wasn’t long before his breathing slowed. But before sleep could take him, he noticed a glow in the hallway. He didn’t remember leaving any lights on when he came to bed. Living alone had its advantages. If he heard someone in his apartment, he knew they weren’t supposed to be there. He slowly reached over to the bedstand and pulled out his Glock 9mm handgun, then held it close and listened.
He watched as the glow moved. It seemed like someone was looking around. But for what? He didn’t really have anything aside from his TV, phone, and video games. If anyone wanted those, they would be in a world of hurt. He had been lucky to get this apartment. If he was honest with himself, it cost more than he could afford, but when he had the chance he took it. It was too bad the opening came because the person who lived there before him was one of The Mangler’s victims. That’s probably why he was able to rent the place so quickly and get the price down to where he could almost afford it.
Maybe the glow was one of the street people who were stupid enough to see if there was an empty apartment to claim. That wasn’t gonna fly either. Jimmy had jumped on this apartment to get away from the dingy rat hole he used live in on the other side of town. And there was no way he’d let some bum come in here and take what was his.
The glow crept closer. He could feel the hairs on his arms raise. There was a sound too. It wasn’t loud, almost felt more than heard. A soft crackle, like electricity when it sparked.
The sensory input was almost too much for Jimmy to take. He pointed the gun in the direction of the glow and saw the barrel was shaking. His resolve, that he could deal with anyone as long as he had his gun, was beginning to fade.
The glow became so bright that it finally took form.
Jimmy’s eyes widened. It was the form of a person, just like the news had said.
It seemed to look around the room, then settle its gaze on the bed. Jimmy began to sweat as it approached and stared into his eyes.
It was the oddest thing, staring into what should be eyes, but nothing was there. The flashes of mini lightning bolts formed shapes that looked almost human, but it was just an outline, there was nothing inside what should be the body.
He shoved the shaking gun out from under the blanket and pointed it at the glowing figure.
The figure noted the presence of the gun, then continued to advance.
“S… stop,” Jimmy said. “I’m w… warning you.”
The figure ignored the warning.
Jimmy squeezed the trigger, setting off a deafening shot that went right through the face of the figure.
It acted as though nothing had happened, continuing to advance. The ringing in Jimmy’s ears made all sound seem muffled.
The figure stopped two inches from Jimmy’s face.
“Mangler… “ it said, sounding less like a voice and more like a transmission over an old staticky radio.
“I… I’m not the Mangler,” he said. “The person who used to live here was killed by him.”
It seemed to ponder this for a moment.
“Find Mangler… “ it said.
“I d… don’t know where to find him.”
It moved an inch closer. As the flashes of electricity arced, licked hungrily at Jimmy’s face.
“Find… him… “
“Ok, ok, I’ll find him,” Jimmy said, feeling the heat from the electricity.
The figure seemed to consider that for a moment then backed away. It moved toward the bedroom wall. Then, like someone had turned on a vacuum, it was sucked into an electrical outlet and disappeared.
Jimmy laid back in bed, breathing hard. His eyes darted left and right all around the room. But the only evidence of the figure that remained was the bullet hole in his bedroom wall.
***
The trips through the electrical conduits had become easier. There were still times when I came out someplace I didn’t intend to, but I was usually able to recover quickly and get to where I wanted to go.
But where did I want to go? At first, I wandered around, lost in this new form I found myself trapped inside. It was only after I had overheard a news report about the serial killer they called The Mangler that I gained my purpose.
Of course, Frederick was going to keep killing. Of course, they weren’t going to be able to catch him. He’d been inside away from his victims before and he didn’t like it. Not being able to torture and kill innocents was like a normal person not being able to breathe. Not that I know much about normal or breathing anymore.
I suppose on some level I should thank him. I thought about it for a long time and the only thing that makes any kind of sense is when we were fighting, somehow the water and blood I was laying in got splashed into the electrical socket. Instead of killing me, it bonded with me, making me able to become the electrical current. To ride it like a wave to wherever I wanted.
I became faster than any person ever was. And yet, I wasn’t a person anymore. I have no idea how I retained my consciousness, let alone my memory. But somehow…
I justify it by the old adage, ‘I think therefore I am.’
My life has become an endless hunt for the person who destroyed me, the person I must destroy. I don’t even know what I’ll do when I find him. But I will find him. I will stop him. This time, I won’t fail. I’ll end him like I should’ve before.
I owe it to the people he’s tortured and killed since my failure. Most of all, I owe it to my wife. I know she wouldn’t approve of my bloodlust. She would say there must be some other option. But if she would be able to see her dead body hanging naked from our living room wall, I think she just might change her mind.
My thoughts are interrupted as I arrive at my next destination, another victim’s house. I’m not sure what I’ll find that the police haven’t, but I have to try. Maybe I can pick up his scent somehow. A plan almost assuredly doomed to failure since I lost all sense of smell in the transformation.
I’m surprised though that I can still see and hear. I suppose waves of light and sound somehow intersect with my electrical body and it senses them. I don’t question it. I’ve learned to just go with it.
On the plus side, I don’t have to worry about eating, drinking, or using the bathroom. I guess there’s an upside to everything. Elizabeth would be so proud of me.
I arrive at the room where the victim was murdered. Looking around there’s still blood everywhere, along with evidence markers where they took pictures.
The sheer amount of blood tells me he took his time. He desecrated this girl in her own room. Her parents must’ve been out because there’s no way they didn’t hear the struggle. There were books on the floor, a chair overturned, and blood everywhere. The room was a disaster. It looked like she fought him. I wish she would’ve succeeded where I had failed.
But then, I wish I hadn’t failed, and this girl was still alive.
There’s nothing I can do now except find him and end him.
Finding him was proving more difficult than I thought. I had unlimited access to anywhere with electricity, but I couldn’t use a computer or a GPS. I was limited to transportation only through electricity. Granted that still made me the fastest being alive. I say being because I don’t think I qualify as human anymore. But I was limited to traveling to a place and then trying to find out where I was and if he was there.
If he knew I was searching for him all he would have to do is live the rest of his days in a cabin in the woods with no electricity. I’d never be able to reach him.
I believe two things worked in my favor with that theory.
First, I don’t think he’s that smart, and second, I don’t think he knows I’m looking for him. I believe that surviving our fight only further empowered him to kill. When someone feels invincible, they’re bound to make a mistake.
An officer walked into the room and I ducked back into an outlet. I was able to hang on where I was and watch from inside the outlet without being transported somewhere else.
The officer looked startled and stared at the empty air that I had just vacated. She looked like she was unsure if she trusted what her eyes had seen in the instant before I vanished.
She slowly stepped over to the corner and bent down to peer into the outlet. For a moment I wondered if she could see me, and what exactly she would see. But then her radio squawked calling her to another scene. When I heard the voice on the radio say the address and that they might have the killer cornered, I didn’t waste any time.
It was maybe fifteen seconds until I was across town at the address I’d heard. There was a lot of screaming and crying going on. I came out of the outlet and saw blood on the floor beside a body that wasn’t moving.
There was a girl being beaten by a man with his back to me. He turned to take another swing and I knew my search was over.
“My psychiatrist used to tell me I needed to work on my impulse control,” he said calmly as he slapped her. “I think I’m doing pretty good. I’ve been here ten whole minutes and you’re still alive.”
I shot across the room and knocked him to the floor. He jumped back up and looked around for what had hit him.
“What the hell?”
I saw the fear in his eyes when he saw me. I know Elizabeth would’ve been ashamed, of me, but I was enjoying his anxiety. After all he had done to me and so many others, I drank it in like an elixir.
He started edging toward the door. I was there in a heartbeat. His eyes darted back and forth between where I used to be and where I now stood. The panic in his eyes doubled.
I wanted to make him suffer, but I didn’t want to make the same mistake I’d made before and let him escape with his life.
I lashed out with a bolt that used to be my arm. The energy slashed through his shirt and fried a hole in his shoulder.
He screamed in pain and horror as he looked at the smoking hole in his skin. He tried to run but in an instant, I was there in front of him firing another bolt and searing the skin across his waist to his jeans.
His screams of pain and rage were only matched by the feral desperation in his eyes.
Not knowing what do to, he went with the familiar. Attack the innocent. He grabbed the girl who had been crawling away from the scene.
He grabbed her again and held her in front of him like a human shield.
What a waste of skin.
I fired a bolt into a ceiling light beside me which ricocheted and hit him full force in the leg, nearly severing it.
He went down like a ton of bricks, trying to hold on to his hostage, but she was fighting to get away from him. She broke free and he crumpled to the floor.
“What do you want?” he screamed at me.
With everything that is within me, I wanted to tell him who I was, what he had taken from me, and what I was about to take from him.
But I didn’t want to give the satisfaction. I wanted to give him only uncertainty and fear to cling to.
I could feel the seconds ticking away. I knew I had to make the most of this opportunity or he would get away again. And after this, I might never find him.
I unleashed every ounce of energy at him. I couldn’t even see him, he was only a smoking pillar of frying skin.
Just then, the police burst through the door.
“FREE… “ the first officer started then the shock of what he was seeing stole the rest of the word from his mouth.
He stood there, mouth agape when the female officer stepped in behind him. She looked at me and her wide eyes narrowed as she put two and two together and recognized me from the last crime scene.
I had no reason to fear. I didn’t know if I could even be harmed in my current state. But when you see that blue uniform burst through a door with a gun aimed at you, all rational thought takes a vacation.
I dove for the outlet and was gone. I didn’t even care where I was going. I knew I had done what I wanted to. The monster was destroyed.
Something felt different. Was it pride at finishing my crusade? Was it shame knowing Elizabeth wouldn’t have wanted me to do it?
I don’t know but there was something else. It was like there was added weight to my existence. I guess you can have a conscious in whatever you’d call this existence.
I appeared in the place that made the most sense, ironically. It was my old home. The one where everything I loved died, including me. It was where I took on this unintended new existence.
Is that why I felt this extra weight? Was it some cathartic aftereffect of my search for revenge that was finally over?
I looked around the charred debris of what used to be my home. In my mind's eye, I didn’t see the burned-out shell of what was left. I saw it as it was when we first moved in. When Elizabeth and I started decorating. When the interior was finally finished and I turned to her and said, “For now.” Knowing she would decide to change everything at some time in the future when she was bored, just like all women seem to do.
I remember getting a paintbrush across the mouth for that comment. I smiled remembering kissing her with my freshly painted mouth and ending up in the bedroom.
As I turned toward where I’d entered the house, my smile quickly faded. For some reason, I was still connected to the outlet. That had never happened before.
Another curiosity arose when I noticed the color of my electrical body was now tinged purple. It had always been blue before.
The tail of what had yet to come out of the outlet was red. As I pulled and it came the rest of the way out, it merged with me and turned purple.
“What the hell?” I heard someone say.
I whipped around but no one was there.
“Where am I?” the voice said.
“Who are you?” I said to the air.
There was a long silence.
“Doc?” the voice said.
As far as I knew it wasn’t possible for my spine to turn to ice, since I no longer had a spine, but the feeling seemed the same.
“Frederick?” I said.
“What happened?” he said. “This crazy electric thing attacked me and now… wait a minute. How am I talking to you? You died months ago.”
My shock gave way to utter despair. My enemy was now part of me.

Throw away bcs my husband is on my main.
I (25f) been married for 6 months to a great 32m. we dated for a year and a half, I saw his mom on occasions and she was great. Now his father owns apartment blocks and instead of us looking for a place to move where we have to pay rent and bills his dad just gave him an apartment. Great deal, right? Only problem is that my in laws live in the same street, basically the house next to our block.
A little background on my mother in law (I don't speak of my father in law because he doesn't give two fucks what we do) . My MIL grew up in a very strict and conservative household, almost abusive. Ok not almost, it was abusive. Her father favored his sons over his daughter, he let them finish school, drive, bought them cars, sent them on vacations around the world.. Etc but for my MIL it was the opposite, for him a woman had to stay home and learn how to cook and clean to be a good wife. She wasn't allowed to leave the house alone, he got her out of school, no driving licence, no trips around the world, nothing. What he did was buy her anything she wished for delivered to the house. Like she had all the fanciest designer clothes and makeup. She got married to my FIL, a man her dad chose for her, and he was almost the same as her father minus the fancy stuff.
So back to now, she is supportive of her kids and her DILs, she likes us studying, working, being free, having ambitions and she'd always take our sides on that. The issue is, she is very very nosy and sometimes controlling. She looks down on people, If someone in her in laws family tries to belittle her she quickly jumps on them telling them how she used to eat the most expensive foods that they couldn't afford. Or in a conversation with them she likes to show off a lot, like "I don't think like all of you, I'm different". All she did in her dad's house was cook and sew and so she made sure to excell at those, now she makes fun of people who buy frozen food, store bought food, fast food, pastries. I feel like she has inferiority complex because she didn't finish her studies so she compensate with other things.
Now if she was like that with her in laws then I wouldn't have cared but because I live right next to her she asks about everything that's going on in my life. I've decided to take a year to stay home before looking for jobs, as my husband can provide enough for both of us right now and my MIL wants me to spend every day with her. She teaches me how to cook and bake and then if I dare buy something from the outside in my own house, like pastries or pizza,she would " jokingly " tell me how much she's disappointed in me, and how homemade stuff taste so much better, but then laugh it off and say I can do whatever I want. I had my family over once for a visit and they bought my favorite pastries so I shared some with her and she gave it away to the neighbors, sometimes she'd have a taste and tell me it was a waste of money.
She doesn't like me cooking in my house, she tells us to have lunch and dinner with her every day. I feel like sometimes when I refuse she purposely cook her son's favorite dish so we could go over. She tells me constantly how she doesn't have lunch anymore because I'm not with her and when she's alone she just can't be bothered to eat. She have no sisters nor daughters, three sons, one goes to college and then my husband and his married brother on another block next to use. She says she stays alone when the DILs arent with her and she feels lonely. She tells us to bring her sons dirty laundry to wash and iron!!! She still makes my husband's lunch box for work and won't let me do it. She just can't let them go even if they'll be living right next to her.
Another thing is that she's been keeping track of my period, pressuring me to get pregnant. I want to have kids and I'm trying to but it takes time, she makes remarks every now and then like "don't eat that, you might be pregnant"." You're tired because it's your ovulation period, you still have time to get pregnant " "did you get your period yet? " "is that a period symptom or like totally new? Could be a pregnancy symptom" and then when I get my period she gets disappointed.
She doesn't like me and her other DIL going to each other's house or having private conversations, she feels like we're plotting against her. If something doesn't go her way she gets upset. She feels young (she's 62 but acts like she's 40) she likes us to share our secrets with her. If me and the other DIL are chatting in her house she rushes over and ask us what we're talking about and to repeat it.
These are little things, I get that, but they're so frequent that they're driving me insane. I watch everything I do in my house because she can come over any minute and make remarks. I don't mind going over to hers sometimes but she makes me do a shit ton of baking and dish washing. She always acts like she knows her son best, which ok she's his mom sure but I know him too. "My son won't eat that, he doesn't like it (her son ends up eating it) " "my son doesn't like this, my son like that, my son like this with little to no sugar, my son doesn't like dry cakes, my son my son my son"
Now you'd ask, where the fuck is your husband in all of this? My husband works from 7am to 6pm. Comes home tired, just want to have dinner and chill with me. But he also loves his mom to bits and he feels bad for her because she got nobody, his dad doesn't care about anything, does his own thing. He doesn't like to upset her, if she cries to him he quickly gives in, he can't say no to her face. He says she spoiled them a lot and took really good care of them that he can't abandon her and asks me to please try to balance between the two homes. To try and please her.
I'm sorry, I wrote too much and this is like not everything that's been going on, there's still more but I'll stop here.
I have no idea what to do anymore, I feel like upsetting her would cause problems between my husband and I. We fight so little and when we do it's about our situation with her. He can't pick between us and I don't want to put him in that position either. The other DIL is going through the same situation btw, only she got a son now so she's busy with him and my MIL doesn't pressure her as long as she can have her grandkid home with her sometimes.

School bus*

Hi, I'm 26M. I am a "certified and registered" medical assistant (CRMA) since 2019 [pro tip, there is no difference between CMA and RMA, its literally the same]. I am certified and registered by the American Medical Technologists (AMT). I have always been fascinated by medicine. I was a very young child when I first got hooked, I have been seen every corner of medicine ever since. As it turns out, I'm pretty damn good in the field. I worked on this useless certification since before I was 18. In 2016, I graduated high-school and was a duel enrollment student my senior year. I went to my local community college during duel enrollment and was convinced by my superiors at the time that becoming a CMA was a great way to go.
I was told that by becoming a CRMA I would have bettehigher annual pay rates and higher probability of being hired for jobs. I was told that the credits I would obtain at my community college for this certification would be a great addition to many health related bachelor majors like Pre-Med and RN programs. Even contribute to a faster graduation much "like an associates". Only that I wouldn't have an associates which wouldn't be very "applicable" to the real world after graduation unless I continue to a bachelors. But a certification to get a "large head start".
Jesus fucking Christ, head start this, head start that, benefits here, benefits there. God, I want to vomit just listening to myself regurgitate all these words of affirmation said to me. Over the coarse of nearly 5 YEARS I am here to tell you that NOTHING of what I was assured or told was true.
Now here is the reality of what you will discover, post-covid, what being a CRMA really does for you.
- A CRMA certification grants you NO competitive benefits and NO reasonably competitive annual pay compared to anyone who gets hired with out a CRMA certification.
Literally no Benefits, none. I have been the lowest annually paid Technician, Medical Technician, Mental Health Technician, for EVERY JOB I EVER OBTAINED and WITH my CRMA certification. I worked at many extremely well known medical institutions from Childrens psychiatric residential care hospitals to where I am now working at one of the greatest health care institutions IN THE FUCKING COUNTRY of the USA and I am STILL one of the lowest paid compared to the majority of my fellow technicians. I currently get paid $18.20 an hour in one of the most expensive areas on the east coast. My co-workers laughed at me and then showed me their pay stubs at $24-26 per hour pay FOR THE SAME JOB. Then new hires that came after me getting $22 FOR THE SAME JOB, NO CRMA CERTIFICATION, NO BACHELORS, NOTHING. Yeah. Oh and good luck making that case to your manager. Getting any kind of raise is next to impossible no matter how long you work or how hard you work or how well you work at your position.
- A CRMA certification today will LESSEN your chances of being hired.
Yup, you heard it here first folks. Obtaining your CRMA certification means that you are of a higher education standard and can handle higher responsibilities, conduct more hands on care with patients, and even more universal in the world of medicine assistants for all kinds of levels of care. Yeaaahhh well after covid, that means that any and all health care networks are going to essentially hire anyone else to do those jobs. Qualified or not. According to my past managers, Nursing managers, and most business sides of health care networks, medical assistants have low level qualifications, little education, or education needs to even just become a CRMA. Furthermore, less urgent responsibilities, I guess? I was just doing CPR on a man in a 30 min code sweating my dick off but sure, I guess not. This means that from the business end perspective they don't need someone with higher qualifications to do the same job. It's simple economics. Why pay someone with proper qualifications $35-40,000 when you can choose the less qualified, less trained, and less educated person for $20-25,000 annually and still obtain the same results within a certain field of practice. It's the quantity over quality kind of mentality. Over my many years I have seen so many unqualified, uneducated, and relentlessly lazy individuals work beside me completely unaware of their responsibilities on the floors of the hospital. You WILL experience these people as your co-workers, guaranteed, now days more than ever.
- CRMA CERTIFICATION CLASSES DO NOT CONTRIBUTE JACK SHIT TO A BACHELORS
After all was said and done and I "graduated" (I guess..) from my community college I went on to my bachelors only to find out that 90% OF MY CREDITS I TOOK AT COMMUNITY COLLEGE WERE NOT APPLICIBLE. Literally 90%, I essentially was 21 starting at my 4 year university and at ground zero with barely anything to show for my efforts to get this CRMA certification. Then covid hit, everyone had to go home, and that really messed everything up. I couldn't focus at home and my grades started to tank due to my really awful home situation but I'm not here to talk about that. So I decided to take a gap year to get a night shift Technician job back at home as a float technician. Never the less, in academia I was majorly behind. Yes Yes Yes, I know. Life is not a race, it's a journey. Some of us struggle more than others. However, here I am at 26, I need to work to pay for an apartment (which I can barely pay for because I'm just a tech in a really expensive area), I need to stand on my own 2 feet, I need to pay for my car and car insurance, I need my own health insurance as per required by the state, and I'm LITERALLY JUST A JUNIOR AFTER ALL THIS TIME. I'm part time in school now so I don't burn myself out working and going to school (tried that, nearly 2 years of my life 7 days a week, no sleeping in, no breaks, fall-winter-spring-summer, just to try and catch up and I will never do that again.). So, at the part time pace I'm going I will graduate 3 years or more from now if I don't go full time literally NOW. I WILL BE BASICALLY 30.... If I do go full time in school I'll be able to graduate in about 3 semesters, I have no idea how I'll be able to financially do that even with loans.
- YOU WILL BE EXPOSED TO INTENSE, HARSH, HAZERDOUS, PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL, AND MENTAL EXTREMES INVOLVING YOUR PATIENTS ALONG SIDE YOUR NURSES AND DOCTORS.
I have worked before, during, and after the worst of what covid-19 had to throw at us on Emergency department (ER), Intensive care, Progressive care, Medical-surgical care, Post Anesthesia care, Observation, hospice, and psychiatric care units/floors/facilities. I have seen families and children watch me as I do CPR on their Father before being shooed away so they aren't scarred for the rest of their life. I was forced to be sat on 1:1's with fully grown men with biceps the size of my face with the body build of a line backer having explosive and uncontrollable manic episodes, convincing themself that us health care workers were human traffickers, and somehow after hours of screaming what I can only describe as absolute madness, have the strength to bend the metal his restraints were tied too. I am 6'2", 220 lbs, consistently go to the gym and play lacrosse the majority of my life and for a moment I wondered if that was going to be my day. Furthermore, later in the day meeting said manic patients wife, I couldn't help but notice the bruises all over her face, her arms, legs, chest... everywhere.
I have witnessed patients with HSV-1 (facial/oral herpes), HSV-2 (Genital herpes) and HIV/AIDS fling various bodily fluids such as blood, spit, urine, excrement, and even ejaculate attempting infect someone with malicious intent. I had one patient admit that they tried to infect another purposefully because they didn't want to feel so alone. Patients will try to get to know you, you're going to be the one they probably see first or most through out the day when they use their call bell. Mostly, they'll want to have normal chit chat in normal ways but there is always that 1 or 2 with other intentions. I have my last name covered on my hospital ID because I WAS FOLLOWED. I am 26M, and all it took was some good and casual conversation talking about ourselves and our lives. I like to talk to my patients and get to know them so they know that I do care about their well being. Obviously, I'm not about to talk about crazy personal details of my life, separation of church and state n all that but that's all it took. Sad to say but even some of the insane have somewhat decent communication skills. A 12 hour shift and some conversation through out one shift, that's really all it takes. That was just one instance, my co-workers (the majority are female) have to many to keep tally.
You will encounter patients who are uncontrollably releasing their bowels and YOU are the one that needs to clean that up. House keeping isn't around the corner all the time and bleach wipes are there for a reason. You will encounter ALL bodily fluids on walls, floors, sinks, tables, chairs, beds, cabinets, and even on the ceiling (rare but yeah). You will be most likely responsible for your patients daily hygiene, dental, denture care, and shaving. If a patient is incapable of wiping after they released their bowls, and yes sometimes a little to early, got poop on themselves, their gown, socks, and down their leg... yup you guessed it, YOU gotta clean it up and in some cases re-wash the patient entirely. Most cases, your nurse or any help from fellow techs will be somewhere else probably dealing with another mess. Personal hygiene is ABSOLUTELY IMPORTANT for a patients health care while they are in your care. It's been proven that daily hygiene being done accelerates patient discharge rates. It matters. Which is why our position matters. If we don't wash our patients on a daily basis they will be more susceptible to infections and diseases. Especially if the patient is already immunocompromised. Depending on what unit you will be working on. You will also likely be responsible for checking equipment, making sure equipment is up to date, doing quality checks on defibrillators, refrigerators, and various other equipment that your unit uses every single day and for multiple times a day. I once witnessed two nurses go feral over a bladder scanner, I already bladder scanned both their patients by that time, both patients were fine. I could rant for an unfathomable amount of time about this position and all the essential things that we must do and provide with quality care and consistent accuracy. Don't get me started on Vaccinations at urgent cares, phlebotomy, obtaining samples for lab to do their mad scientist stuff, and the differences of technician/medical assistant responsibilities between different networks.
​
Conclusion...
This is a small section of what it means to be a dedicated Medical Assistant/Technician. Do yourself a favor. If everything I said doesn't worry you much, go for it. If you want the experience or the desire for the experience and you are in a state where you can value the experiences more than the pay, go for it. I was like that once too, now I have no choice but to think more about how I will pay for myself and my future. Regardless, The Lord knows we need the help and I'll be happy to meet you and train you. However, you must know that you will always be appreciated. You'll hear the phrase "we appreciate you" or "Thank you for all your help today", from your nurses, fellow techs, managers, nursing managers, and doctors alike right before you leave to clock out. You'll just never be properly valued the way you should for the immense efforts you provide. You'll be just a tech. The health care field worker bee....

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"Why won't you come with me?" Andrea's voice whined down the phone in the tone she always adopted when she wasn't getting her way. "C'mon… please? Everyone else is busy..."
"I already told you, I'm not going back to another one of your shitty dive clubs. Remember last time when I nearly got my eye gouged out in the moshpit? I had to take a week off work."
"So what if you got your bell rung for the first time, you really want to die without any scars? Besides, do you have any idea how hard it was to get these tickets? I had to pay some random street guy double just to get us in the door."
"Well, what's the big deal about this place, then? Why's it so exclusive?"
"Suck Shaft."
"What?"
"Suck Shaft, they're opening. Headliner's some local hick but everyone's going to see Suck Shaft, it's their first gig in like ten years or something. How in the fuck have you never heard of Suck Shaft?"
"Andrea, can you please stop saying 'Suck Shaft' for a minute… let me think…"
"Look, are you coming or not? We'll be in and out in two hours, Tom, I promise. You'll be no worse off for work tomorrow, might even have something interesting to say around the water cooler, ay?"
"Fine... As long as we're only staying for the opener."
"Great! Pick me up at six."
beep
I pulled up outside Andrea's house to find her sitting impatiently on the doorstep and she eagerly bounded over and hopped inside.
"Are you as excited as I am?!" She asked giddily, looking at me with her make-up-caked face. She presented two little white tickets and passed one over. "This is gonna be a night to remember!"
"Yeah, whatever… Two hours, then I'm going home, so don't fuck around, okay?" I put the car in gear and departed from the pavement. "I mean it, Andrea. I can't mess up with this job right now."
"Jeeeez, you're such a stick in the mud…" She groaned dramatically as her eyes rolled back into her head.
As we drove slowly down the decrepit street which was home to the run-down venue I was immediately shocked at just how busy it really was. A swarm of patrons all waiting to get inside mobbed the sidewalk and spilled over into the street. After a tedious fifteen minutes of creeping around, I eventually managed to squeeze the car into a tiny space two streets over.
It was freezing but I gave Andrea my jacket anyway after catching a few passive aggressive 'brrrrr's' as we walked side-by-side to the club.
"Why didn't you just bring your own coat?"
"Well, I didn't know we'd have to park like a hundred fucking miles away, did I?"
"What if it's cold inside? You consider that one, genius?"
"We won't be cold for very long," She shot me a sly wink as she dug into her back pocket and held up a baggie containing two tiny pills stamped with a smiling alien. "Roll with me?"
I looked into her big green pleading puppy dog eyes and found myself unable to say no. That and it had been a while since I'd gotten my hands on some decent ecstasy. Andrea always got good X.
"I'll take half. Remember I still have to get us both home in one piece after this." I said in a defeated voice, but secretly I was excited for the first time that day.
"Yay!" Andrea hopped up and clicked the heels of her Nikes at me. "This is gonna be great!"
She pulled the bag open and bit half a pill, handing me the other half. Then, without any hesitation, she slammed the other full one down too before flashing her tongue at me the way I imagine they make the patients do at mental hospitals after med time.
"For fuck's sake, Andrea. Really? You said two hours. In two hours' time you're gonna be completely gone, I'll probably have to carry you through the dance floor, prise your fingers off the stage just to get you out the door with me."
"A promise is a promise." She booped my nose condescendingly the way you might a small child. I always hated when she did that, endearing as it was. "When it's over, it's over. I won't hold you back."
"I hope not." I'd gotten the pill down quickly, but that bitter taste still permeated the surface of my tongue and a little at the back of my throat. "I really hope not..."
We rounded the corner and joined the back of the line and found ourselves relieved that it was moving relatively quickly. I stood on my toes and got a decent look at the action up front. The bouncer wasn't even really checking the tickets, just a nod in acknowledgement at whatever random white paper was being presented. This prompted me to check the one in my pocket.
It was riddled with typos. I held it up to Andrea and she looked at me as if I was from Mars.
"What?"
"You paid double for fake tickets?"
"Yeah, so what? They'll get us in, won't they?"
"Jesus, Andrea. I swear, two hours and then we're leaving. Okay? This is gonna be a nightmare to get away from, look how busy this fucking street is, it's all because of these fake ticket scalping fucks..."
The ecstasy had begun to take effect and I couldn't help but feel a little shame for just how hard my half a pill was already kicking my ass. I looked over at Andrea for the first time since we'd joined the queue, of which was quickly packed behind us as we gradually approached the front, boxing us in. She was chewing voraciously at her bottom lip. I put my arm around her shoulder reassuringly and she turned to me with her big wobbly pupils. The vibrant green of her irises almost obscured by them.
"We will get in, right? Won't we?" She asked with a sort of desperation that I understood. I'd had a 'bad' X trip before when my plans got cancelled and I'd taken too much, ended up milling around my apartment hugging pillows and gnawing at my toothbrush. I pictured Andrea disappointedly sitting on her couch while she ferociously stroked her cat with hardstyle blasting through her TV speakers.
"Yeah, I think we'll get in. Don't worry." She pulled me closer to her and we embraced. Usually that took an hour or two but the clear overdose had ramped up the process. "Are you sure you're okay to go in here? You shouldn't have done all that at once."
"Oh, y-yeah" She chattered at me through her clenched teeth. She broke away for a second and yelled into the crowd behind us.
"SUCK SHAFT! WOOO!"
She was met with a rallying cry of about two dozen other people who were also prematurely wasted. With a pleased giggle she took my arm again and snuggled in, which was a relief because it was so damn cold on that sidewalk. We got close to the front and I whispered into Andrea's ear.
"Look, just keep your head down and don't look at the bouncer. If he sees how fucked up you are he won't let us in, okay?"
"Okey-doke…"
"Gimme your ticket."
I took her ticket and approached the big man by the door as Andrea half-hid behind me. No words were exchanged, barely even a look. He grabbed our tickets, and in we went.
"Here's your jacket back." Andrea thrust my knockoff leather jacket towards me and I put it back on, knowing that it'd eventually just become a hindrance in the heat. I followed closely behind as we descended the sickly white painted concrete stairwell, already littered with cigarette butts and empty bottles and vomit possibly from the night before. The music was getting louder as we got closer to the underground set. Thick swathes of bass resonated in the walls and in the floor and the ceiling and I felt myself come alive.
The stairs ended after a few turns and Andrea took my hand and led me into the packed crowd, all moving sinuously to the beat. I felt a jab in my ribs but I didn't care. We were somewhere close to the stage, but I couldn't tell where. My vision flickered and moved with my body as I danced with Andrea, every so often taking an accidental shove from a stranger and giving out a few of my own. That moment, I don't know how long it lasted, but it was the last time I was ever truly happy.
I brushed it off at first, something being shouted that looking back, I know must have been 'fire'. I just didn't want to believe it. Then, when the dancefloor broke its rhythm and people began to push into us towards the exit, I realized what was happening. Andrea looked into my eyes and I could see she knew it too, that rapturous joy snuffed out by terror. When the real world creeps into the fantasies we use to escape, turning them foul forever.
The music was still blaring, but the stage was empty. Smoke trickled out from behind it. Screams began to overtake the bass as people crammed in beside us, all running in the same direction. The lit single door exitway was in near darkness spare a few gaps that weren't full of people squeezing through. It was utter chaos.
All around us the ones who'd fallen over were stepped on in the scramble, I could hear their bones snapping under the weight of frantic footfalls and their pained reactions as they gasped their last breaths before giving in. Several men and women were actively shoving people back, throwing elbows and punches with others retaliating and then succumbing to the trampling themselves. We managed to reach the exit door leading to the stairs, but as I squeezed myself through Andrea's wrist got caught in the doorframe and was shattered by the incoming horde pushing through the cramped doorway three at a time. She screamed, shrieked out, and then was lost. I didn't look back, I was overcome with an unbearable rage. I stood in that doorway and I kicked out hard, knocking at least a dozen people back into the club, which was now entirely ablaze as flames engulfed the stage rendered near invisible by the thick black smoke.
I wasn't giving anything close to a fuck. I jerked my elbows into noses, I yanked back two womem ahead of me and they tumbled backwards down the stairs into the fiery oblivion below. I kicked and I punched and I shoved and I think I even bit a guy at one point, until eventually, I managed to wriggle through the open door and into the night air as sirens screeched down the street towards the scene. I looked back over my shoulder at the carnage as other escapees of the blaze rushed past me to safety. I did too, except I didn't stop running.
I got in my car and I drove home.
Fifty-three people died in that club that night. Seventy were injured, many in ways that'll surely have made their lives a living hell since. Andrea. I'm not sure if Andrea died in the crush or under some fucker's boot or if the smoke got her, or the fire. All I know is that she didn't make it. I just hope it was quick. Oh, fuck, how I hope it was quick... I look back and it's like I can see her lying there by that jammed up door with her wrist all bent backwards with the bone sticking out while she pleads, begs, the other people there to help her. Everyone ignored her. I ignored her.
I don't like to think about it. I can't. So I don't. I moved away. Nobody knows I was there, or what I did. I know I'll never forget it, though. I know that I'll never forgive myself.

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fucked absolutely everything up, my friends don’t care about me anymore and i understand it, i am way too much for them. I feel so alone and gonna be back on the street next week and i absolutely cannot deal with it, i really dont want to be on the street but there is no other place for me anymore, why can’t i just get a heart attack or somethins and let everyting be over?

I should start this story by saying that I'm not one who scares easily. I'm a blue collar dude who's been an outdoorsman my entire life. I was born a fighter and know how to take care of myself. I digress.
I grew up outside of Detroit in the 90s/2000s. As a past time I'd go out to the abandoned buildings in the city. We'd go explore and cause a little harmless trouble as teenagers are known to do. On a brisk late October night I found myself sitting in my truck bored on a Friday night. I got the bright idea to go out to the city and explore some of the abandoned houses in the more shady areas of Detroit. In the past, I'd ALWAYS go with other people. Me having the typical "I'm invincible" attitude that most young teenage boys have, I went by myself. Me being the moron I was at that time, I went alone... Of course. I drive out to the shadiest neighborhood I knew of at the time and picked an abandoned house at random. I decided that I was going to park my truck about a block away and walk to the house as to not draw too much attention to myself. As I'm walking to the house I saw the typical streets of Detroit characters. A couple of ladies of the night, dealers, and a more than normal amount of homeless dudes. As I'm walking threw that back alley to get to the back door I hear faint noises of someone behind me. Not unusual for the situation. I keep my hand on a good size hunting knife that I always carry just in case I need to defend myself. (Thankfully I've never had to use it.) I hear the gravel become louder and louder. I look behind me and see 3 ppl turning the corner onto the same alley I went down. So I did what anyone would do. I booked it as fast as I could and hopped a fence into a yard and hid in an overgrown bush. My heart thumping and breath sharply panting I stay as quiet as I possibly could. As I sit there concealed I see the three guys walk no further than 5 feet away from me. I hear them say, "he can't be too far. I know he jumped a fence." As they keep walking down that dark alley, I start to regain my composure. I think to myself "I came all the way here, I'm going into an abandoned house." I turn around and start my way towards the back door of the house. The houses have plywood over all the windows and doors. So, I pry open the wood from the bottom of the door and crawl into the house. Once I get in the house I see the typical things you see in an abandoned house. Spray painted walls, trash, holes in the floor, ect. I make my way upstairs to the top floor to see what's up there. As I make my way from room to room I hear a loud "thud" on the wall closest to the back yard. After which I hear "I know you're in there." I hit the sprint threw the hallway to the room across from the room I was in. I hear another "thud" and voices saying "Come out here. You don't belong here." I freeze trying to figure out what I'm going to do. As I'm racking my brain I hear them say, "there's no way out. We're going to catch you." In a raspy, smokers voice. I then hear faint popping sounds coming from the first floor. Just then I smell the unmistakable smell of smoke. It was then that I realized that I'm in very deadly trouble. They lit the house on fire! I start running from room to room loosing my mind. I then think to myself, "get it together! You life literally depends on it." As the flames start traveling up the only stairwell, I start pushing on every border window I could find. Not a single one of them would budge. At this point I have never been so fearful in my entire life. It was just then that I remember the windows leading to the roof in the attic. I start frantically searching for the stairs that lead to the attic. By this time the hallway has filled with black smoke and flames start bursting the top of the stairs I came up from. The flames licking the ceiling and quickly make their way to the end of the hallway. FINALLY! By the light of the flames, I find the way to the attic! I pull the string to the hideaway stairs and run up them faster than I've ever ran before. I make my way to the window and kick out the glass. I make my way onto the roof and take the most refreshing breath I've ever taken in my life. However. I know I'm still not out of the weeds yet. I frantically start looking for a soft place to land. The house being 3 stories I knew that wasn't an option. In my head I'm saying it's better than dying. Just then I run past the peek of the roof to see the house next door is only a ten foot gap to the other roof. I take about a 15 foot running start and jump to the other roof. Then I make my way towards the overgrown tree so I can climb down. I have never beenore grateful to plant my feet on solid ground. It was at this moment, I hear a voice say "HE'S OVER HERE!" I take off jumping fence after fence in the direction of my truck. I come out to the front yard into the street and run into 2 more guys who grab my shirt. I break their grip and start running. As my feet feel like I'm floating I reach my truck. I put my hand in my pocket and grab my keys. Like a bad movie, my hands are trembling so badly I drop my keys. I bend down to grab them and look to my left and see three men no more than 15 feet away from me. I managed to get the key in the slot and unlock the door. I pull the door open and go to step into the truck. Then I feel a wet heat on the side of my head and my ears start ringing. Out the keys in the ignition and start the truck. I take off with the door still open and one of the guys hanging onto the bed of the truck. I mash the pedal to the floor and swing my back end around a turn and look at the rearview mirror. Thankfully, the guy is no longer holding onto the truck and is now tumbling down the street. I close the door and start making my way to I75 to go back home. Bloody head, coughing, and smelling like fire, I say out loud. I'm never going by myself again.

Note: As I said I want to take my time with this story and write it in better quality ("book alike") with bigger chapters and more characters development and world building. Enjoy this chapter!
Prologue Chapter 1 Prev Next
*****
Karina stepped through the portal for the second time that day, emerging in a bustling square in the heart of Aharedun, the capital city of the Kingdom of Aranthia. Unlike the portal to Thalassar, this one was noticeably smaller and less blurry, allowing Karina to clearly see the guards standing on the other side of the shimmering energy field. They wore their imposing grayish armor, their eyes trained on the group of travelers that had just arrived.
Leading the way was Prince Kaelen, who beckoned Karina and their new Viluna companions to follow him into the city. As they made their way through the square, Karina couldn't help but marvel at the sights and sounds around her. The buildings were unlike anything she had ever seen on Earth, with towering spires and ornate decorations adorning every surface. The air was thick with the scent of exotic spices and the sound of alien music that made her toes tap in rhythm.
The crowd that had gathered to greet them was diverse, made up of Thalassarians they already met and several others, she wasn’t sure if they were other species or races.
Her attention was drawn to a particular figure in the crowd, a small creature with dark-green skin and carapaces on its body. It wore a bright yellow toga and had a face that was humanoid but with distinct differences. Its nose was small and almost imperceptible, and it had no hair on its head. Karina couldn't help but stare, fascinated by this strange being.
Before she could take in more of her surroundings, Prince Kaelen stepped forward and made a gesture opening both of his hands and waving his head from one side to other, prompting the crowd to follow suit. Karina wasn't sure if it was a greeting or a bow, but she joined in, copying the movement.
"Welcome, citizens of Aharedun and visitors from afar!" Prince Kaelen announced to the crowd. "We are honored to have these new guests among us, the Humans! We will be taking them to the Royal Palace to show them more of our city tonight and in the coming days. In the meantime, please enjoy the festivities and explore our wonderful city!"
The crowd erupted into applause, and Karina felt a sense of warmth and hospitality from the Thalassarians, she wasn’t sure what she expected once they came here, but this was a welcome sight. As they followed Prince Kaelen down the bustling street, she took in more of the sights and sounds around her, feeling a sense of adventure and excitement building within her. She couldn't wait to see what other wonders this world had in store for her.
They walked stone-cobbled streets towards the big Palace prompted on one of the hills that surrounded the city. The whole time Karina and the humans were escorted by the legion of guards and the hooded figures appeared every once in a while on the corners or on top of the buildings.
“How many people live here?” Karina asked her Viluna which was hovering near her shoulder.
“Around five hundred thousand,” Viluna answered with a squeaky voice.
“Is that a lot in Thalassar or?” Karina asked curiously.
“It’s on a bigger spectrum, but that are larger cities, Aranthia has three bigger cities, but this their capital due to its geopolitical position.” A little speck of flittering light answered. “Which city are you from back on Earth?” The little creature asked her.
“I was born in Moscow,” Karina answered.
“Ahh, we have heard of it in our brief time on Earth,” Viluna answered.
“What?” Karina was shocked. “You have been on Earth? When?” She asked.
“We have visited once the portal was open,” Viluna answered. “We are curious creatures, drawn to new things.”
“How come no one saw you?” Karina asked looking at the Viluna as it flown around her head.
“We can’t take physical or any form on that matter on Earth.” The creature said. “See on our moon we have a physical form, down here on Thalassar we are like this, but once we went through the portal we became nothing but a flicker in the air, barely visible if you knew what you were looking for.” The creature said changing its colors.
“So, why are you here and with us if you can just go to Earth and learn all about us from the shadows?” Karina asked.
“Well, it’s not that simple. Since we can not find any form on Earth, we can’t stay long there, no more than an hour at a time and once we get back it takes us long time to recover.” Viluna explained.
Karina furrowed her brows, trying to understand. “Why is that?”
“We start to lose ourselves if we stay longer. Our minds can’t work right without a form. If we were to stay longer, we would probably cease to exist, as our minds would get lost completely,” Viluna said, changing colors.
“Hmm,” Karina said thinking. “You are weird little creatures. We will talk more tonight, I want to take in all the sights now.” With that said the little creature buzzed above her head.
They had almost reached the big palace during their conversation, only a big flight of rounding stone stairs was between them and an enormous gate at the top of the hill.
“Up we go humans,” Prince Kaelen said and started climbing.
They made their way up the grand staircase, their footsteps echoing against the stone steps. Karina looked around in awe at the view of the city that was unfolding before her. She could see the different districts and neighborhoods of Aharedun, each with its own unique architecture and vibe. She noticed a few towering buildings that stood out from the rest, in her mind those belonged to the nobility or wealthy merchants.
As they reached the top of the stairs, they were met with the sight of the enormous gate, decorated with intricate carvings and symbols that Karina couldn't decipher. The gate was guarded by two large statues of armored soldiers riding unfamiliar beasts, their swords raised and ready to strike. The guards opened the gates, and they stepped into a wide courtyard, filled with lush greenery and fountains.
The palace itself was an impressive structure, with several wings and towers reaching up toward the sky. The walls were made of a white stone that shimmered in the sunlight, and the windows were adorned with colorful stained glass. Karina could see balconies and terraces on the upper floors buzzing with people looking down at their new guests.
Prince Kaelen stood and faced the crown. “Welcome to Royal Palace,” He said opening his arms to show the majestic structure spreading on three sides around them. “It’s been built by my family some four hundred years ago and had been our home ever since.”
As Kaelen talked Karina took her time to take in the marvelous Palace. She was struck by the sheer grandeur of the architecture. Towering pillars rose up from the ground, supporting massive arches and intricate carvings that adorned every inch of the Palace's façade. The gardens were a sight to behold as well, with an array of exotic flowers and plants that seemed to glow in the sunlight. Karina could hear the soft babbling of a nearby fountain, which was surrounded by a group of playful Thalassarian children who were splashing around in the water.
Karina took few steps away from the group and noticed the bustling activity of the Thalassarians as they tended to the upkeep of the Palace and its grounds. Some were meticulously cleaning the pavement, making sure that every stone was spotless. Others were hard at work, trimming and pruning the greenery so that it maintained its shape and beauty. Karina couldn't help but admire the dedication and attention to detail that the Thalassarians put into their work.
Despite their busy schedules, the Thalassarians still found time to take in the sights and sounds of the Palace. Karina observed that they often stopped to exchange greetings and friendly banter with one another, even as they went about their tasks. And yet, whenever opportunity arose, the Thalassarians couldn't help but steal glances in the direction of humans. It was clear that they were curious about the visitors.
“This will be your home for the next year, or until you wish to get reassigned to another part of the program.” Kaelen said finishing speech. “There will be a maid so to say or someone to be of your assistance for each of assigned on top of your Vilunas to make your lives in palace easier. Go ahead enter the east wing of the palace and you will find your rooms at the second and third floor.”
Karina's heart skipped a beat as she stepped into the Palace, her eyes wide open as she tried to take in the grandeur of the interior. The entryway was dominated by a massive chandelier, but she noticed that instead of light bulbs, it was adorned with floating spheres of light that illuminated the entire room in a soft, warm white glow. The walls were painted in a rich shade of yellow, resembling the color of the ocean, while the marble floors were decorated with intricate patterns that seemed the follow the motives from their uniforms.
As she followed the grand hallway, she passed by rooms that were equally lush and rich. She couldn't help but marvel at the fine artwork that adorned the walls, the intricate tapestries that hung from the ceiling, and the luxurious furniture that filled each room. It was like nothing she had ever seen before.
Climbing at the third floor she arrived at her room. It was just as grand as the rest of the Palace, with a large four-poster bed draped in luxurious silks, a writing desk made of rare woods, and a balcony that offered a stunning view of the gardens below.
As Karina was lost in thought, the sound of the door opening startled her. She turned to see a young Thalassarian woman with strikingly unique eyes. They were a deep purple with a faint glow, an unmistakable characteristic of the Thalassarians. Karina guessed her to be in her early twenties, but it was hard to tell with them yet.
The woman's beauty was undeniable, but there was also an awkwardness about her that made her all the more endearing. She stood there nervously, clasping her hands together, as she spoke in a soft voice, "Mistress, my name is Nereia. I have been assigned to assist you during your stay here."
Karina couldn't help but smile at the young woman's formal address, "Please, call me Karina. And it's a pleasure to meet you, Nereia."
Nereia let out a small sigh of relief, "Thank you, Karina. If you'll allow me, I'll show you around and help you with anything you need during your stay here. How do you like your room?" Nereia asked.
“I love it, it’s beautiful,” Karina answered truthfully. “It’s all very overwhelming, but it’s grandiose, to say the least,” Karina said with a friendly smile.
Nereia returned the smile, her faintly glowing eyes sparkling in the light. "I'm glad you like it. Well, the Royal Family is known for its luxurious style.” She said. “Is there anything else you need before I leave you to settle in?"
Karina shook her head, "No, I think I'm good for now. Thank you again, Nereia."
“I will be back later with a gown for the welcome feast tonight, you make yourself comfortable and call me if you need anything,” Nereia left and closed the door behind her.
Moments later Karina stepped out onto the terrace, taking in the sweet scent of blooming flowers and the sound of trickling water from the nearby fountain. She noticed Viluna, her sparkling companion, floating nearby.
"Hey,” Karina said, smiling at her companion. “I was wondering if you could tell me about how magic works. That’s one of the things we humans are the most curious about."
Viluna beamed back at Karina. "It won’t be that simple I am afraid, Karina. Magic is a complex and powerful force that is present in all living things. It's the energy that flows through us and connects us to the world around us."
“Why it won’t be that simple?” Karina asked curiously.
“Well, that’s amongst few things we are not allowed to share with you humans yet,” It said.
“What? Why?” Karina asked. “Aren’t you here to share the knowledge with us?”
“Yes, we are. But it was in the deal we made with the Prince,” Viluna said floating near her head. “The King himself requested we don’t share that knowledge yet, at least not to the full extent. I will answer some of the basic questions and I am sure you will find a lot on your own talking to other Thalassarians, but for now, we are not allowed to explain in detail.”
“Why did he request that?” Karina continued her barrage of questions.
“Because he is afraid that if we give out all of our knowledge you will be able to use it against them if you ever decide to invade again,” Viluna said the explanation made sense to Karina. “But don’t worry if the program goes well I am sure all the knowledge between the two worlds will be shared eventually as the trust grows.”
“Hmm,” Karina frowned. “Makes sense I guess. What can you share now then?” She was persistent.
“Well, All I can tell you is that most of the Thalassarians can cast some of the magic, or at least have to ability to learn it. But to those that can only access simple spells like creating a light sphere, it means nothing. I don’t know if I can find a perfect comparison, but it’s like all of you know how to read and write, but it doesn’t make you special in your own world.”
“Hmm, I don’t know if it’s a great analogy, but I think I get it,” Karina said sitting back in the comfortable chair on the corner of the terrace. “ What else can you share? Where does the magic come from?”
“Hmm, not sure,” Viluna said in a soft voice. “The source of the magic comes to from the moons of Thalassar. There are thirteen of them orbiting the planet and each one of them provides a person with a specific power. Every being born on Thalassar has a connection with at least one and that’s how they are able to make basic spells like light spheres, a small burst of fire, heal minor wounds, and so on.” Viluna spoke and danced around Karina’s head as she listened carefully.
“More skilled mages, healers, enchanters, and so on, have a connection to several moons and use their powers to create and cast unique spells. Even to this day people are able to think of new ways to cast and create new spells. It’s way more complex than that, but it’s all I am able to share for now, that information you can gather by asking almost anyone on the street and it can’t hurt the kingdom.”
“Woah, that’s interesting,” Karina said her eyes full of wonder. “Can someone have a connection to all of the moons?” Karina asked curiously.
“No, that’s unheard of,” Viluna answered landing on her knee. “Powerful magic users most have around five to six connections, the highest anyone ever had was ten, but it is more a myth than a confirmed fact, we don’t have any evidence that Xandros the Second had that ability.”
“Hmm,” Karina said taking in everything her little companion shared with her. “I am sorry, I just realized I never asked you for your name.”
“We Viluna’s don’t have names, but you are free to name me and call me whatever you like,”
“Ok, how about Lumina,” Karina asked right away. “Don’t know why but that name suits you.”
“I like it,” Lumina said her form shifting slightly.
Karina continued to ask a question to Lumina as she overlooked the busy gardens of the Royal Palace. An hour had passed in a blink and a knock from a door cut their conversation.
“Excuse me, Mistress Karina,” a soft voice said with a polite tone. “It’s Nereia, I brought your gown.”
Karina opened the door and welcomed the girl with a warm smile. “Come on in,” She said opening the door wide.
“I am afraid I can’t, they need us down to get everything ready for the feast tonight.” She said. “Here is your gown, get ready and I will come to get you in less than an hour and lead you towards the banquet hall.” Nereia handed her the gown and left.
Karina looked at the gown in awe as she held it in her hands, without hesitation she put the gown on. It was a beautiful, flowing creation made of the finest silk, with intricate embroidery and beading in shades of turquoise and silver. The sleeves were sheer, with delicate lace trimming, and the bodice hugged her curves before cascading down into a billowing skirt that trailed behind her as she walked.
It wasn’t her style at all, she was more of street clothes kinda a girl, but looking at herself in the mirror, she was blown away. She made a few turns looking at the dress from all angles. This kind of dress would cost her fortune back on earth. She found a few silver clips on the desk and styled her hair as best she could to go along with the dress.
A few moments later, Nereia arrived at the door, dressed in a lovely gown of her own, visibly less luxurious than the one Karina got. "You look stunning, Mistress Karina," she said with a smile. "Are you ready to go?"
Karina nodded, feeling a bit nervous but excited as well. She followed Nereia down the hallway, her long gown trailing behind her as they made their way toward the banquet hall. As they walked, Karina couldn't help but marvel at the beauty of the palace once again. Every inch of it was adorned with intricate carvings, sparkling jewels, and delicate tapestries.
Finally, they arrived at the banquet hall. The hall was massive, with soaring ceilings, glittering chandeliers, and walls adorned with shimmering gold decorations. The tables were covered in rich, embroidered cloths, and gleaming silverware sparkled in the light of the glowing spheres floating above the table.
The guests were already arriving, each one more elegantly dressed than the last. They were all talking and laughing, their voices echoing off the grand walls of the hall. Karina felt a bit intimidated, but Nereia squeezed her arm reassuringly.
"Don't worry, Mistress Karina," she whispered. "I know feasts like these can look intimidating, but you humans are the stars of the show."
With that, she led Karina toward their assigned table where most of the humans would sit this evening. Nereia took a seat next to her and on the other side, she recognized a girl from their program wearing a similar gown.
“Hey,” Karina said softly. “How are taking all of this?”
“Hey Karina, it’s overwhelming, but everything is beautiful so far, can’t complain,” Clarissa answered. “How about you?”
“Same,” Karina answered and they continued with small talk before the soft music that was playing stopped and people started standing up. Nereia slowly tugged at her arm pointing for the stand as well. Seconds later prince Kaelen walked into the hall with a beautiful woman under his arm. She was stunningly beautiful, with long golden hair that cascaded down her back in loose waves. Her dress was a shimmering ivory color, with delicate beading that sparkled in the candlelight.
Karina couldn't help but notice the intricate braids woven into the woman's hair, forming an elegant and intricate pattern that must have taken hours to create. Her makeup was subtle, but enhanced her natural beauty, with a soft pink lip and just a touch of blush on her cheeks.
“That’s Zaya, Kaelen’s bride-to-be,” Nereia said.
“She is beautiful,” Karina answered truthfully.
“Yes, she is amongst the most beautiful women in the kingdom. Kaelen chose her instead of marrying someone from his family provided in order to establish better relations with other kingdoms. It was a big deal at the time, but that’s prince Kaelen, he always does what he wants.” Nereia explained and Karina just nodded looking at the stunning couple.
“What’s the prince like?” Karina asked.
“He always stood out from the Royal Family. He is a bit eccentric, he likes to party, and travel, and isn’t really that much interested in Family matters.” Nereia said as the couple took a seat at the main table. “Bringing you guys here with this Citizens Exchange program is his way of proving his worth to the kingdom and his family.”
“How so?” Karina asked curiously.
“He doesn’t believe in his family policy of war and old-style politics. He believes both planets could benefit from each other if we set our differences aside and work together. The King was not for this program at all, but the prince managed to convince him otherwise with the help of his Mother.” Karina nodded in understanding and minutes later waiters started serving dinner.
Karina was serving a weird purple-looking fruit or vegetable, she wasn’t sure. “What’s this?” She asked Nereia.
“That’s Nemoryn fruit, it’s one of the best delicates in the Thalassar and only grown on one small island,” Nereia said. “It’s usually served only on big banquets and before the main course as this fruit is known to open the appetite and help dissolve the rest of the food easier.”
“And how do you eat it?” Karina asked poking at the fruit with her knife.
Neremia chuckled softly. “You cut off top and the bottom and then peel the leathery exterior.”
Karina did as told and the inside revealed a pink, jelly-like inside that was filled with small, edible seeds.
“You can eat it all, it’s ok to eat it with the spoon,” Nereia said.
Karina nodded and took her spoon taking a bite out of the fruit. It was soft and crunchy at the same time with a mild, sweet, and subtly bitter flavor. It began to melt into a liquid inside her mouth and the taste reminded of lime and coconut mixed together.
“Woah, this is delicious,” Karina said and took another bite. “Your food is truly amazing.”
Nereia smiled. “Yes it is, but you also are getting the best of the best, keep that in mind.” She said with a smile and Karina nodded her mouth full of delicious fruit.
The rest of the banquet went as expected, they ate amazing food, Karina made small talk with the rest of the humans, and spent most of the night chatting with Nereia, who proved to be rather curious about humans once she loosened up. Prince Kaelen provided them with a whole night of entertainment, dancers, actors, and entertainers took turns at the podium as the night went away.
Deep into the night when the feast was nearing its end, a loud explosion was heard from the outside and bright light emanated deep from the city which could be seen through the open terrace on one side of the banquet hall. Karina ran towards the terrace but the guards were already at the door prohibiting anyone to exit. Karina managed to peer through the cracks in their massive armor and saw a big flame at the part of the city where they walked earlier in the day.
“Ladies and gentlemen, I am sure it’s nothing.” Prince Kaelen said with a stern voice. “Please leave for your rooms we have our people already investigating the source of the explosion. You will be informed of what happened as soon as we know.” He said and left the banquet hall in the hurry.
Nereia escorted Karina to her room and helped her unzip the dress before she left. Karina sank into a soft bed and her mind started racing with everything that happened today, but before the thought could consume her, tiredness took over and she sank into a deep sleep.
She was awakened by the commotion outside her terrace early in the morning. She ran and looked outside and saw Prince Kaelen talking with a man in a uniform she hasn’t seen so far, he had dozens of soldiers at his side. She quickly got dressed into the clothes she came in and went downstairs to look for Nereia.
“What’s going on?” Karina asked as she found the young girl sitting at the bench in the garden.
“Mistress Karina, you are awake,” Nereia said with a smile.
Karina could sense something was off, so she asked again. “What’s going on?”
“I am afraid nothing good,” Nereia said with a worried look on her face. “One of the ships transporting humans was attacked and destroyed last night at the open see.” She said bowing her head down.
“Which one?” Karina asked her heart racing.
“The one transporting your people to military camps,” Nereia said.
Karina’s heart sank in her chest with the realization that it was Liam’s ship. She almost fainted but Nereia took her by arm and helped her sit on the bench. First the explosion last night, then the ship, something was off and it made Karina have almost a full-blown panic attack, but her worry was focused on Liam now, she needed to find out what happened to him and if he was ok.
*****
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I'm talking about moves like here. I always hear that racing bike frames and rims are just not constructed to withstand the stress of jumps. But Brumotti is doing backflips on what looks like a racing bike to me.
Okay, I guess someone like him doesn't have to buy his bikes and probably cares little about how long they hold up. But I'm also not hoping to backflip on a racing bike. I'm talking about the occasional jump down to the street or up the sidewalk. When I talk to manufacturers about for example gravel bikes or crossbikes and if I can jump them the answer is always something down the line: "This bike is build to always have contact with the ground". And I hear similar things in bike shops. And then there's this guy doing flips and climbing airplanes with what appears to be a racing bike? What am I missing here?

Throw away bcs my husband is on my main.
I (25f) been married for 6 months to a great 32m. we dated for a year and a half, I saw his mom on occasions and she was great. Now his father owns apartment blocks and instead of us looking for a place to move where we have to pay rent and bills his dad just gave him an apartment. Great deal, right? Only problem is that my in laws live in the same street, basically the house next to our block.
A little background on my mother in law (I don't speak of my father in law because he doesn't give two fucks what we do) . My MIL grew up in a very strict and conservative household, almost abusive. Ok not almost, it was abusive. Her father favored his sons over his daughter, he let them finish school, drive, bought them cars, sent them on vacations around the world.. Etc but for my MIL it was the opposite, for him a woman had to stay home and learn how to cook and clean to be a good wife. She wasn't allowed to leave the house alone, he got her out of school, no driving licence, no trips around the world, nothing. What he did was buy her anything she wished for delivered to the house. Like she had all the fanciest designer clothes and makeup. She got married to my FIL, a man her dad chose for her, and he was almost the same as her father minus the fancy stuff.
So back to now, she is supportive of her kids and her DILs, she likes us studying, working, being free, having ambitions and she'd always take our sides on that. The issue is, she is very very nosy and sometimes controlling. She looks down on people, If someone in her in laws family tries to belittle her she quickly jumps on them telling them how she used to eat the most expensive foods that they couldn't afford. Or in a conversation with them she likes to show off a lot, like "I don't think like all of you, I'm different". All she did in her dad's house was cook and sew and so she made sure to excell at those, now she makes fun of people who buy frozen food, store bought food, fast food, pastries. I feel like she has inferiority complex because she didn't finish her studies so she compensate with other things.
Now if she was like that with her in laws then I wouldn't have cared but because I live right next to her she asks about everything that's going on in my life. I've decided to take a year to stay home before looking for jobs, as my husband can provide enough for both of us right now and my MIL wants me to spend every day with her. She teaches me how to cook and bake and then if I dare buy something from the outside in my own house, like pastries or pizza,she would " jokingly " tell me how much she's disappointed in me, and how homemade stuff taste so much better, but then laugh it off and say I can do whatever I want. I had my family over once for a visit and they bought my favorite pastries so I shared some with her and she gave it away to the neighbors, sometimes she'd have a taste and tell me it was a waste of money.
She doesn't like me cooking in my house, she tells us to have lunch and dinner with her every day. I feel like sometimes when I refuse she purposely cook her son's favorite dish so we could go over. She tells me constantly how she doesn't have lunch anymore because I'm not with her and when she's alone she just can't be bothered to eat. She have no sisters nor daughters, three sons, one goes to college and then my husband and his married brother on another block next to use. She says she stays alone when the DILs arent with her and she feels lonely. She tells us to bring her sons dirty laundry to wash and iron!!! She still makes my husband's lunch box for work and won't let me do it. She just can't let them go even if they'll be living right next to her.
Another thing is that she's been keeping track of my period, pressuring me to get pregnant. I want to have kids and I'm trying to but it takes time, she makes remarks every now and then like "don't eat that, you might be pregnant"." You're tired because it's your ovulation period, you still have time to get pregnant " "did you get your period yet? " "is that a period symptom or like totally new? Could be a pregnancy symptom" and then when I get my period she gets disappointed.
She doesn't like me and her other DIL going to each other's house or having private conversations, she feels like we're plotting against her. If something doesn't go her way she gets upset. She feels young (she's 62 but acts like she's 40) she likes us to share our secrets with her. If me and the other DIL are chatting in her house she rushes over and ask us what we're talking about and to repeat it.
These are little things, I get that, but they're so frequent that they're driving me insane. I watch everything I do in my house because she can come over any minute and make remarks. I don't mind going over to hers sometimes but she makes me do a shit ton of baking and dish washing. She always acts like she knows her son best, which ok she's his mom sure but I know him too. "My son won't eat that, he doesn't like it (her son ends up eating it) " "my son doesn't like this, my son like that, my son like this with little to no sugar, my son doesn't like dry cakes, my son my son my son"
Now you'd ask, where the fuck is your husband in all of this? My husband works from 7am to 6pm. Comes home tired, just want to have dinner and chill with me. But he also loves his mom to bits and he feels bad for her because she got nobody, his dad doesn't care about anything, does his own thing. He doesn't like to upset her, if she cries to him he quickly gives in, he can't say no to her face. He says she spoiled them a lot and took really good care of them that he can't abandon her and asks me to please try to balance between the two homes. To try and please her.
I'm sorry, I wrote too much and this is like not everything that's been going on, there's still more but I'll stop here.
I have no idea what to do anymore, I feel like upsetting her would cause problems between my husband and I. We fight so little and when we do it's about our situation with her. He can't pick between us and I don't want to put him in that position either. The other DIL is going through the same situation btw, only she got a son now so she's busy with him and my MIL doesn't pressure her as long as she can have her grandkid home with her sometimes.

hello all,
i work with a revolving door system at my job. i am constantly spinning said door all day for 8 hours. the door, after an incident where one of the spinning doors actually broke off the frame, has gotten progressively harder to push/spin and the door has constantly malfunctioned ever since. after so many spins the door would actually freeze - mid spin - endangering someone walking their face right into the glass.
we try to prevent that by using MORE force on our hands to the point that one day i woke up with a dull achy hand right in the ring finger base joint. right on the same hand/area where i “spin the door”. reported it to literally all my bosses immediately, went to urgent care, etc…
i guess like all cases, there are alot of moving parts. one is although i went to both urgent care and my primary care who told me they suspected tendonitis, i HAVE to see a specialist….one that will take 2-3 months (!!) to see.
i have called to see if anyone has canceled, i call every week it doesnt matter…i have to wait which is holding this whole process up.
i even called an attorney (who i will not be working with i never signed any paperwork & they already sent me to a physical therapist who the receptionist demanded i come 3x a week with NO official diagnonsis, no mri, etc…i walked right OUT, they want money i dont even have … yet.)
the attorney DID set me up with a specialist however its literally the same timeframe as my primary care referral 2-3 months…so im just supposed to “tough it out” until then??
one of the other major things is the door has never been fixed. from the moment i woke up the first day with pain i called it right in to my job. i told every boss in the building what was happening, i emailed hr and hr corporate, the door…my friends…its still not fixed almost 2 months on.
the issue is the company who services the door is taking forever to “find/order a part” and in the meantime im injured. i have been working at this establishment from the beginning i have never even once seen the door company come to do a routine inspection/ general maintenance. one of the bosses told me they were still under warranty…
ill wrap it up. im in talks with a new lawyer who actually told me to meet in the office to go over the case which the other lawyers NEVER did.
my job insurance has called to “ask some questions” but i saw on youtube “do NOT let them record you..” so i told them we could speak later.
as far as im concerned there is nothing to speak about until i see a specialist/retain counsel
i applied for workers comp the same week or the following week after the injury when i realized i could NOT see a doctor without workers comp info - IF - it happened at work.
the last thing is the door, and my injury. the door, the company (the door company that is) did come to take the entire motor out the door, preventing it from stopping mid-spin, but now, making it fully manual, making it even HARDER to spin now, in my injured hand, that i will have to wait 3 months to see a dr.
one of my coworkers told us he had an injury (on the same hand that i do) before i ever even developed my symptoms. he is afraid/doesnt want to buck the system.
tendonitis is TERRIBLE! its achy dull and it just will not go away. sometimes i feel like its spreading in my hand… can it do that?? idk because i havent seen the specialist yet. its weird but cracking/or trying to crack the knuckle in the joint/finger is the only thing that brings some momentary relief, but it hurts like hell to do it.
advice? thoughts? optimally i want a settlement to peacce out, i could develop a chronic condition if i haven’t already because of the job.
thank you for reading.

“Then said he unto him, A certain man made a great supper, and bade many:
And sent his servant at supper time to say to them that were bidden, Come; for all things are now ready.
And they all with one consent began to make excuse. The first said unto him, I have bought a piece of ground, and I must needs go and see it: I pray thee have me excused.
And another said, I have bought five yoke of oxen, and I go to prove them: I pray thee have me excused.
And another said, I have married a wife, and therefore I cannot come.
So that servant came, and shewed his Lord these things. Then the master of the house being angry said to his servant, Go out quickly into the streets and lanes of the city, and bring in hither the poor, and the maimed, and the halt, and the blind.
And the servant said, Lord, it is done as thou hast commanded, and yet there is room.
And the Lord said unto the servant, Go out into the highways and hedges, and compel them to come in, that my house may be filled.
For I say unto you, That none of those men which were bidden shall taste of my supper.” ‭‭Luke‬ ‭14‬:‭16‬-‭24‬ ‭KJV‬‬
A very powerful set of verses I read in my daily devotion. These set of verses goes with picking up and following after Christ daily see many want to follow Jesus and want the blessings and the benefits of what God has in store for us but when it is time to do what God wants us to do or deny our fleshly desires we make excuses on why we can’t read our bible, talk to someone about Jesus, or whatever it is you know God wants you to do because we are so focused on the things of this world and are caught up in the cares of earthly things then heavenly things we need to make sure we put God first in our life because he is so much better then anything this world can or will offer!

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(267) 578-4320
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Monday (9:00am-5:00pm)
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I am an odd person, growing up my mother, teachers, classmates and other family members were baffled by my behaviour even when I did my very best to fit in. As an adult with perspective and consciousness of the existence of mental health as a general concept as explored as it has been already, I have come to the presumption that I might be autistic though I cannot strictly confirm such since I am not a licensed professional in that field and have not gotten an assessment (formally) so my understandings might be misinformed.
The purpose of the preceding paragraph is to provide context for my issue though it seems unrelated explicitly but I think there's a strong connection between, my general oddness which might be Autism and its corrolary affectation, and my inability to enter into a relationship.
I have never been social, I prefer being alone most of the time, I do not like being touched a majority of the time (except by people i deeply care about), eye contact is just incredibly unpleasant and I loathe casual conversation. These are all things that have been in a way described as being hindrances towards dating because as described by many, you cannot meet people when you are alone, low eye contact describes low self esteem (which i do have but is unrelated), physical touch breeds intimacy in strangers which makes them more familiar (i enjoy physical touch of people i feel comfortable with), casual conversation and flirting are the ways to engage peoples attention long enough for them to make the subconscious decision whether they like you.
I do not excel at texting, mine are often brusque and to the point, I usually try to adapt styles, behaviours and mannerisms I've seem receive favourable responses from others to little success. I can be goofy in conversation and interaction, but if it isn't urgent then I'd rather not text at all.
I have been told I am attractive by my friends and family but I generally stand that I am not, while I am not repulsive by any means, my features often do not appear appealing to me (I experience both body dystopia and gender dysphoria). I used to maintain an extremely manicured appearance but of late at my self confidence has waned I rarely cut my hair but always comb it, keep my nails clean, ensure my clothes are clean and pressed though rarely get new clothes or make effort to personalise my appearance (I work in a court and a specific appearance is prescribed which limits room for expression).
Compounding the issue are two key problems, I work a stressful and involved job which eats up my hours between 7 and 4, by the time I return I am far too tired and uninterested to go anywhere even on the days I am not expected at work (I live with my family and they also demand my attention and contribution in issues in the house). The second problem is despite the nature of my work, I receive very little as a salary which limits my possible recreation and ability to pursue other interests, go out on dates or even quit my job to find another one.
I am Masculine presenting and have a keen interest to modifying that appearance to better suit me but to pursue that I would need either a severe escalation of income (which I am at a loss on how to acquire) with the assurance of continued earning even after the completion of my purpose, or I would need to relocate to a country where my transition would not hinder my affairs beyond social hate (I do not care about people's opinions only their influence) yet immigration process is long complicated and expensive which mean each step requires months of saving for me, my presentation fosters hesitation as well (I do not want to enter into a relationship where I am wanted based on my appearance knowing it will fail because I am determined to change that).
I have tried dating apps and found little success regardless of how I've projected. I have found minor friendships with people continents away yet no one around me.
I do honestly prefer my own company the bliss of silence in absence of expectation, yet I have come to find that in spite (true malevolent spite) of myself and my nature, I am frighteningly lonely.
I crave soul cuttingly deep to be understood, accepted, seen and loved. I am mostly tolerated and those who do love me often don't understand me or share my perspectives (My family is conservative and religious, I am queer and not religious. With my family I feel as though they love me but tolerate parts of myself that I want to celebrate but are waiting for me to grow out of it or praying for me to grow out of it).
I feel isolated and unwanted, then despite my best efforts I find any sort of progress towards relocating or building an income or working on my self image perniciously slow. I have my issues and I am trying to be better but I can't get someone to warm up to me over the Internet and I often don't have opportunity in public life, as well that because I am so starved of affection I feel myself becoming increasingly desperate for it which fuels a rational hesitation in the sparse instances where I see an opportunity in life (barring those where I would need to interrupt other peoples public going on in order to approach them) coupled with the knowledge that I couldn't even afford to take them anywhere for a date (But I do know that is what you're supposed to do). In essence, I'm lost on what I could do beyond what I'm doing to change my situation (if you have ideas I would love to hear them), yet the knowledge that I'm doing all that I can does not alleviate my loneliness.
I fear the consequences of my own despair and what I might do or it might turn me into.

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Male 36 sertraline for anxiety average lifestyle no alcohol use for around 10 years
Battling invisible illness now making some progress in finding out but lack of medical knowledge leaves me more questions than answers and a long wait until next doctors consultation leaves me here
eGFR results On 29/9/2022 : 84 On 30/01/2023 : 74 On 22/03/2023 : 65
Creatinine results on On 29/9/2022 : 100 On 30/01/2023 : 110 On 22/03/2023 : 122
Urea results on
On 29/9/2022 : 7.5 On 30/01/2023 : 6.0 On 22/03/2023 : 8.8
Potassium always normal
Dull ache in abdomen radiating kinda at top of my testicle tubes
Yeah I’m probably a little dehydrated but not massively
How serious are those results what am I likely to expect to hear at my Next gp appointment
All results are taken at urgent care after funny turns and all Other blood normal
Cortisol test to be done soon fasted
Please help I am incredibly worried and don’t want to google
♥️