🤐🤐🤐 which hampers people's God given right to their Freedom of Expression, freedom of speech. It is Google YouTube auto deleting of viewers' comments with spam bots. It's not the creators that's responsible for this atrocity. It's Google YouTube's dictator-esc, tropes, unbeknownst to the creatorsbstealthily impose these auto delete bots in the comments section of YouTube videos of 'Tubers. But here's where I call to the stand my star witness, B.S. Shenanigan. These lil' anecdotal quirks these past few years like removal of the "Dislike" button, TikTok-esc "shorts" and as of three years ago (2019) the excessive auto deletions of YouTube viewers' comments of the comments section. Mind you upon the request of the creators themselves. You all know the whole spew, "Like, subscribe, hit the bell icon (although through IOS Android browsers no such icon is provided) and leave a message in comments section below," at start, middle, or end of videos. So common sense indicates it makes no sense whatsoever that the creators themselves will just delete comments that they don't like, or agree with. As they respect their viewers' 1st Amendment Right. Furthermore, this will only alienate their subscribers, thereafter losing mass subscribed viewers to their channel, losing their entire subscriber fan base. For them this is the last thing that they would want to do, because for most of those creators their channel is their bread and butter, their ends meet. So logically speaking they wouldn't want to do ANYTHING to jeopardize their bottom line, of both the seasoned vets BIG creators to the newbie smaller start up creators. So that said by object of elimination it's Google doing all they can passive aggressively to try to sabotage these YouTube creators as a scheme to run them all from the platform. Hmmm🤔.. come to think of it, it seems to me like this is a scheme coming from the mind of an incompetent female CEO one Susan Wojcicki to me. Running Google YouTube proverbially into ground oblivion, not to be "sexist." Whilst making way for BIG NAME Broadcast Companies to utilize the YouTube platform, relegating it into an overall post broadcast production platform, or content streaming platform provided to Big Broadcast.
What are your thoughts on this theorem? Could I possibly be right with my synopsis? Comment below your input. But keep in respectable everyone...

I saw this video where it shows a black charcoal(?) covering a space of the orange clay wall and you can see a outline of a man and a small child. Then the camera switches into a empty room and a man starts to speak, the only thing I can remember him saying is, "It's too late". My memory is a bit fuzzy of what the man said during that scene so I may be wrong. The next scene then shows a creature crawling out of the sky and I am sure the man said, "they're here" or something around those lines and then the video ends.
I found the video on YouTube and I tried to find it but I can't remember the channel's name nor the video's title. All I can remember is that one of their videos were named, "Madness". I tried searching that up on YouTube but unfortunately I can't find the video at all.
This person has similar videos on their channel if that helps at all. They also were making a big project and their recent video was a sneak peak of it.The time frame of when I saw the video I am questioning about is 2020-2022. The time frame for the video's creation is 2020 to 2021.
If you have anything you wish to know to help me find this then please ask!

Note: just removed from AITA because it’s about a romantic relationship, so I’m posting here.
I’ve seen this hashed out on here before, but I figured I’d ask anyway for myself.
I guess I’ll preface this with, we both watch porn on our own and not together if we’re in the mood to do so.
I was home from work, and felt the need so I was searching through some videos on the phone, I found one I thought I might like that was VR so I grabbed my headset and watched it.
Girlfriend comes home, and I had left the VR headset controller on the bed, and she asked what I was doing, and I told her.
She got upset, told me she didn’t want to speak to me at that instance.
I tried to give her a few minutes, and then said I’m sorry that what I did hurt, and explained that to me it was just porn, but if that made her uncomfortable I had no problem in setting that boundary and throwing it away, and setting that boundary.
She said, “how do you think most women with partners would feel about that?”, which is valid I didn’t think about that.
But there have also been plenty of times where she’s done things that most “men with partners” would not be okay with.
She stuffed my apology, didn’t say I love you back when she left for her night job, and now I’m sitting here wondering how things will play out.
I can understand that it might make her uncomfortable, but I don’t think it’s fair that our boundaries allowed for porn, and this specific case was not okay.
TLDR, I considered watching VR porn to be the same as watching regular porn, which we both do. She figured out I watched a VR porn, and got mad. I tried to apologize and talk about it, and was stonewalled.
AITA?

MASSIVE TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ mention of various forms of abuse including SA, mention of suicide in some detail, mention of death
PREFACE
I understand this is the internet and I cannot expect people to have grace or mercy on me for any of this. All I can do is ask that if you’re going to give me your input, that you try and be as kind as possible. My heart is hurting and I really don’t feel I am in a place to hear that I need to entirely -drop- this therapist right now. My background of abuse and trauma will hopefully explain why that is, but I am not ready to let go. I am mostly posting this to vent, but also hoping that if anyone does have any advice that could help me even just in the short term with coping, that it will be gently shared.
BACKGROUND
I will try and keep this as short and sweet as possible but there’s a whole lot of history here. I am 27F, and I grew up in an unimaginably abusive home. Sex trafficking, severe physical, sexual, and emotional abuse from my father and my older brother (very patriarchal family), and a slew of very complicated and scary health issues including a liver disease and cancer. My family set me up to never be able to move out or live independently because they genuinely have viewed me to be their property. The severity of this can hopefully be summed up in just a few example:

• Was never allowed to even get myself a glass of water in the kitchen or learn to cook • Was not potty trained and had to rely on my mom to go to the bathroom into my teenage years • Drinking only from sippy cups until teenage years • Location monitored on my phone • Every credit card transaction / finance watched closely • Could not move away from college 

My brother was allowed and able to do all these things, but I was not. My entire life, teachers and “adults” that were supposed to catch these things did not even bat an eye. They instead placed me in remedial classes and ESL assuming that I just had a learning disability or a language barrier (which I do not). When I told teachers in the past about my abuse, it was handled extremely poorly and no authorities ever got involved. My life felt worthless; meaningless. Like I could scream from the rooftops of my school that I was being abused and no one cared.
This past January, I did the unthinkable. I left my family and got my own apartment. Friends, therapists, coworkers, everyone who remotely knew me has been pushing me to do this for years and I genuinely thought I would die in my situation. I developed severe Stockholm syndrome so a huge part of my lack of leaving was due to my own internal thought patterns. I did it through the help of my current therapist, which is my… fourth? therapist that’s attempted to help. The last ones took advantage of how naive I was and hurt me (one of them has been arrested). This therapist, however, invested everything to get me out. He really wanted to see me free. And I am forever grateful for him.
MY CURRENT THERAPIST & BACKSTORY
I started seeing this therapist early in 2022 when I was still living with my family. I became severely bedridden and could not even go to the bathroom without my mom or dad escorting me. My anxiety and panic were at an all time high. I was on a leave of absence from work, and this therapist was the only reason I had for HAVING to get out of bed and forcing myself to drive, and most days I couldn’t even do that. He was patient, compassionate, and was willing to go to great lengths to help. Though mostly irrelevant, he’s 45M. He got into school for counseling later in life so when I started seeing him, he was just an intern under the director of the practice. At the time, the director of the practice was seeing an old time friend of mine (who happened to recently become my coworker). My friend had gotten concerned about why I wasn’t showing up to work and why I was struggling so much. I didn’t want to open up to her about it because I couldn’t open up to anyone at the time. However, my friend asked the director of the place if she knew anything about me. The director broke into my therapist’s file under the guise of “he is my intern, I can look at his stuff” and then relayed all of that information to my friend. It became an entire case against the state board and I fought tooth and nail to get that director in trouble. In the end, nothing was done and in retaliation, the director fired my therapist and I had to wait until my therapist found a new job in order to see him (he was pre-graduation by just a few weeks so he couldn’t ethically talk to me until he had another practice). During the worst moments of my life, I was without my therapist (no fault of his, and he checked on me frequently), but it was really only for a few weeks. To me that was a lot since I had been going 2-3 times a week, sometimes 4 because of my situation.
THE CRYSTAL AND THE SAGE
My therapist had gone out of town briefly and came back with a crystal he got. He told me when he purchased it he knew he wanted to give it to someone. And he said that it made him think of me and he wants me to have it. He said he wants it to be a reminder that he cares and others care and that it represents my truth to hold close. Months later, he went on another trip and said he got sage that someone gave him that was super special and he wanted me to have it. He was very invested in making sure I felt like he cares and has my back. I was never into spirituality in the same way as him so I respectfully accepted his kindness but kind of scoffed at him. It became more of a joke.
HOW MY BROTHER AND MY THERAPIST STARTED TEXTING
The director of the previous practice had tried to harass me with a fake number, as well as to my therapist. She wanted to try and get us to drop the case, I guess? When I continued to get texts from fake numbers, my therapist asked me to give him the number that was blowing up my phone. It turns out, timing was absolutely terrible. My brother (who moved out of state) was the one who started harassing me. My parents/brother allowed me to go to therapy to “work on my panic attacks” but they began hating the fact that my therapist was helping me become independent. My brother was outraged and texted me anonymously to kill myself. Because I still thought at the time that it was the director of the place, I went ahead and shared the number with my therapist. And that’s how it all began.
THE VIDEO THREATS FROM MY THERAPIST
Things got out of hand over the months. My therapist felt extremely protective of me and a “savior complex” kicked in. The reasoning for this is worth noting / important. My therapist lost his sister to suicide when they were young, and he also lost his father shortly after. His sister apparently had also been assaulted and my therapist had mentioned to me before how he views me as a friend, someone to protect, like a sister. He admitted his struggle with transference and said his main and only concern was to get me to move out of my family’s house. To take a leap of faith. He was desperate to do that. He offered to help me get an apartment near him so he could help me out, he offered to babysit my dog for me (my golden retriever is my emotional support animal that my parents have used as a bargaining chip), he offered to see me in therapy 5 times a week if I just moved. I just wasn’t ready. But my brother would not relent.
My therapist still does not know that I know this, but my brother showed me some of the videos my therapist sent him. Three separate threatening videos. In them, my therapist was shirtless with a ski mask on saying he was part of the FBI and that if my brother didn’t behave himself, that he would have his people come after him. My brother said that I was threatening him and that if I didn’t get this man to stop, it would be trouble. My therapist got extremely activated and decided to take it as a challenge.
My therapist also at some points asked my brother “how to assault me” because he wanted to know what my brother did/wanted him to admit it. But if an outsider saw the texts, it would seem like my therapist was asking to participate in assaulting me. It looked HORRIBLY incriminating.
THE MOVE OUT
I got the courage one night. Drove my dog over to my therapist’s house and moved in with a friend while I apartment hunted. My therapist was incredibly proud of me and poured so much love and care into my dog. I truly felt hopeful and optimistic and I eventually applied for my own apartment and got approved. Because of severe Stockholm syndrome and lack of knowing how to do ANYTHING, I would end up visiting home (somehow, they allowed that and I did not die!)
THE ASSAULT
Long story short (I am not super comfortable going into this part), people from the temple I was sex trafficked in (linked with my family), showed up and assaulted me at gun point in a van. I told my therapist. He was extremely upset on my behalf and called the police. He told me it was essential that I get restraining orders and that I stop going over to my parents house even if I have Stockholm syndrome. He said he could no longer be patient on that because I was actively being attacked. I told him I was still too nervous to go no contact and I could tell he was frustrated with me.
WHEN MY THERAPIST SECRETLY SAT OUTSIDE MY APARTMENT
My brother / someone from the temple decided to start things up once he figured out the person he was texting earlier was in fact my therapist. He threatened my therapist and challenged him to meet up. My brother was bluffing but my therapist took it seriously. My therapist arranged to meet him outside my apartment at 9pm that night. I had a weird gut feeling so I texted my therapist that night and asked him not to do anything stupid, but I had no idea what he had up his sleeve. Without telling me, my therapist sat outside my apartment waiting for my brother (who never showed) to meet him. Why my therapist chose to meet him RIGHT OUTSIDE my new residence was extremely irresponsible.
I went to take my dog out to the bathroom that night and my friend and I were hanging out. She noticed a dark car with someone sitting and staring with a mask on. We walked closer and it was my therapist. I yelled at him because I was so worried he would’ve gotten shot or attacked and that he would get hurt as a result of trying to fight. My therapist apologized and was so embarrassed. He awkwardly said “you weren’t supposed to know about this…” and drove off full force. We hopped in my friends car and followed him to wherever he tried to run off to. He then promised me he would leave. About 20 mins later, my friend and I decide to go out to get food and we see him sitting in another part of my apartment complex still ready to fight. I was so upset that he lied to me multiple times and that he was risking his life. What would’ve happened if he got attacked? But my therapist apologized again and said “I just need to look him in the eye” implying he was ready to kill.
THE DREAMS ABOUT MY THERAPIST’S LATE SISTER
As my therapist had told me, his sister had passed away from suicide when they were young. He admitted to have transference in a way where he viewed me in a sisterly way. For a while, I continually had dreams about his sister and it was very weird. I told him I don’t believe in a lot of things like crystals or burning sage but that these dreams felt incredibly vivid. In the dreams, her sister was assuring me that my therapist was sent in my life to be the brother I couldn’t have. That he was sent to me as a brother, and I to him as a sister.
THE HOSPITAL
Just within the span of days after he showed up to my apartment, I was hospitalized due to complications with my liver, and I reached out to my family for help. My therapist was upset with me for interacting with my family at all. My therapist even visited me in the hospital and said that I don’t need to call my family for help and that I have him and my other friends who will have my back. After I was discharged from the hospital, I asked my therapist if I could take my dog back for at least a weekend (he took my dog in while I went to the hospital in order to help me. He said he would hang onto him while I recovered and caught up on rest). So when he gave me my dog for the weekend, out of guilt, I took my dog with me to visit my family. I just felt the need to run back. My dad manipulated me a lot about missing my dog so I felt obligated.
MY THERAPIST’S FRUSTRATION
I admitted to my therapist that I had taken my dog to my parents for the weekend (after I already gave him my dog back). My therapist was so upset about it. He had put so much love and time into my dog and helping me, and then I took him back to the hands of my abusers. This is when him pulling back began. He felt like he was doing all of this extraneous stuff for me and I was just taking steps back.
THE SUICIDE METHOD
As he got over his frustration a little bit, I became very suicidal to the point where I purchased a rope and planned it out. I made him the beneficiary of my bank accounts as a thank you to him for everything. He told me he would do what he could to help me. He said I could bring my dog back to him if I just need a life break. He didn’t know I had the rope but he knew I was thinking suicide. When I went back to drop my dog off, I admitted I had a rope. I gave it to him. He realized I was genuinely going to kill myself and was so grateful I told him the truth. He told me he would be there for me to help me through it. Showed me grace and compassion and everything.
THE MAJOR PULLBACK
No warning. No indication. My therapist immediately pulled back. Hard. He told me to call him later that week (I usually have therapy 3x a week but he was out of town), and so I did as he said and called him to update him. He immediately flipped out. “Ugh, I cannot be in anything extra to your therapy space. I am going through things on my own and I need to pull back. I can’t take calls any hour of the day anymore. I can’t take your dog. You don’t even listen to me anyway. You do what you want and go to your parents. So, I don’t know what to say. I am committed to you as your therapist but that’s it. If you feel suicidal outside of that, go to a hospital and get sedated.” I was absolutely crushed and felt so awful and guilty like I did something wrong. I didn’t want to bother him. I didn’t want to lose him. He made me feel loved and cared for (platonically, as a brother) and I felt so safe with him. Until this moment. He was very hung up on the fact that I kept going home to my family despite his efforts.
After calming down he explained how he feels like he needs to step back because his emotions shouldn’t affect my therapy and that he’s doing it to help me. But it felt very selfish. He over exerted himself by showing up to my apartment and sending threatening videos when I never asked for it, all because HE wanted to. And now he pulls back because HE wants to. None of his decisions were based on what I would feel, but what would best serve him.
THE RELAPSE AND THE DREAMS
Because my therapist stepped back so hard, I relapsed and said “screw it” / went back to my parents. I still had my apartment but I backslid majorly.
During this time I was so distraught. This therapist made me feel supported. And no, I didn’t attach onto him in an unhealthy way where he became my only hope. But he did feel like the brother I wished I had, and he felt like such a deep and important part of my life and I was devastated.
I started having dreams again about his sister and I cried. I felt like I was given this gift and then it was taken away.
THE BACK AND FORTH
My therapist began telling me that he thinks I should have additional support in this season especially while he “takes a break from extraneous stuff” with me. He said when he was younger and going through things, he had two therapists.
A week later I told him I found a second therapist and he said: “ummm I don’t know. I feel protective over that. Maybe don’t get a second one. Find a support group but I don’t want you seeing another one.”
I stood my ground and said I might still find one and he said “well then make sure the other one is a woman and is closely in touch with me.”
It felt very wishy washy and he did a lot of similar things like this for a while.
But when I listened to him and decided against a second therapist, he pulled back again. He said he wouldn’t take any more texts or calls outside of session once again and made me feel like an obsessed freak when I wasn’t even really doing much at all. Or asking for anything.
VISITING MY THERAPIST’S LATE SISTER’S GRAVE
My therapist is a famous author and singesong writer. Online, it’s very easy to find his sister’s name and I did some digging and found out where her grave is located. I was feeling really awful, like I was grieving the loss myself which is so incredibly psychotic. I know. But it more so felt like I was grieving the loss of this brotherly love I once felt from my therapist. But it’s been a couple months at this point and he still refuses to take texts or calls, and is very argumentative and angry in sessions. And I just wanted to take some flowers to the grave in private, not tell him, and just accept that he can’t be what I needed him to be for me.
MY FAMILY FINDS OUT
When I went to the cemetery, the place was huge. So I had to go into the office and ask for the location of his sister’s grave. They gave me a piece of paper with her name and grave location on it and I eventually just threw it in my wallet. My dad stumbled upon my wallet while I was at home one of the days and noticed the last name and asked me if I was still seeing my therapist. They don’t like him for obvious reasons. But I admitted to my parents that I do still see my therapist and that he’s more like family than they’d ever be. They abused me. But I stood in my truth. At the end of the day I will not deny that my therapist DID help me immensely and if that means I have to be abused for the truth, I’ll do it.
MY THERAPIST INSISTS ON INFORMATION
He knew that I was hiding something. I told him my family was abusive again but I didn’t say why. He spent an entire session saying he needs to know what happened. I said no multiple times and that I didn’t want to talk about it. He used language like “you have to tell me before you leave my office” and “if you care so much about me you’ll tell me.” He even told me he was going to take my hand and promise me that he won’t react. He held it and looked me in the eye and promised he’d meet me with compassion. I refused. He then asked me if I’ve been lying to him. Deceptive. It broke me and I felt like it was just such an insult. But I stayed strong and he apologized for bothering me about it.
Last week comes around and it feels like such a hindrance. He’s continuing to be short with me and not answer my texts, not taking emergency calls, and just… is continuing to be cold. I even texted him that I was genuinely feeling suicidal and he told me he can’t help me outside of session. Period.
So then after my latest session, I told him I’d text him what happened because I was too uncomfortable to say it. I told him I visited his sister’s grave, about the dreams, everything. I said I felt really hurt at his pullback and how it felt selfish.
He responded by gaslighting me endlessly and it absolutely crushed me furthermore. He responded as follows:
“Ok crystals and dreams? I don’t believe in them. I don’t believe that was my sister. I don’t know how I feel about you visiting her grave. I am not your brother and I can’t be your brother. And yes it was a nice gesture I guess but clearly you are focusing on the wrong thing. Let’s not talk about the weeds and the details. Let’s focus on you.” And completely shut down any further conversation about it.
In the past I have insisted and begged him to process him showing up at my apartment with me because I am still shaken up. He just always says “I never should’ve gotten involved like that but we are NOT going to talk about this ever again” and has always refused to hear how I felt about it.
He went back on vacation this past weekend and refused to take my call when I needed help, refused to text me, or anything. I called off work two days in a row because I was so devastated at his anger toward me and the gaslighting. It felt so unfair. I wanted to talk to him over the weekend because I was genuinely so hurt and felt like I truly lost him. He didn’t care.
WHERE TO GO FROM HERE?
I had an appointment in person tonight. First in person one since I told him about everything. I am embarrassed and feel so guilty that I visited his sister’s grave behind his back. It makes me feel psychotic. But at least I was honest and didn’t wait until I got caught / did not gaslight him.
I have a major surgery tomorrow and he won’t help me with my dog. I’ve gone back to my parents for now until I am recovered.
I want to tell him how hurt I am but I have tried that. He never understands. I miss him. As a brother.
I ended up going to session and he asked me why I feel off in therapy. He literally said “other than me slightly having to pull back right now what have I really done?”
I don’t know if I ever can get him to see my side or my pain in this.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Again I know the majority of people will want to come at my therapist or me for doing wrong things. I know it doesn’t seem like this, but he really isn’t intentionally manipulative or gaslight-y, he’s just trying to regulate himself.
I have grace for him. And for myself. So please, please try and respond with compassion. I don’t want to lose him. But I feel like I kind of am.
What are your overall thoughts, in the most gentle way possible? Was I wrong for telling him the truth about the grave?

Just some background details to explain the questions. Skip ahead if you want: SO diagnosed with Bipolar 1 in 2011 at age 21. Proceeded to have 3 manic episodes requiring hospitalization from 2011-2013. Following the 3rd hospitalization, she was placed on daily lamotrigine, Latuda, wellbutrin, PRN Xanax, and after like 6 months of euthymia, she was prescribed 40 mg adderal XR for ADHD. After about 2 years, she developed a daily drinking habit. Fast forward to 2023, she stopped drinking cold turkey in March (was never severe enough to cause withdraw) and started taking CBD supplements to help her sleep (she was used to just falling asleep after drinking). Due to the adderal shortage, she was prescribed Vyvanse at the end of March. She was experiencing work stress and heard her abusive, controlling high school boyfriend had died of an OD back in October 2022. For reasons i can't comprehend, she struggled with his death (he is the reason she also had PTSD.)
Weirdly, the alcohol cessation corresponded with the work stress. And while I was concerned about the work stress, she had dealt with similar issues in past (bad managers) and got by fine. What concerned me the most at the time was the damn Vyvanse. Even though she thought it made her more productive, she also kind of became an irritable asshole. 1 week later, she was hospitalized.
Anyway, on to my questions:

1. Could the change from Adderal XR to Vyvanse been a factor in the irritability and mania development or just a coincidence? I know mania doesn't occur at the flip of a switch, but the personality change with the Vyvanse was significant.
   
2. Is there any reason to believe that her quitting drinking could have contributed to her mania development? At the very least it would have affected how her body processes her medications, right?
   
3. Previously, she had been trialed on Lithum, Geodon, and seroquel, which either didn't work or had bad side effects. Is there like a algorithm that helps you decide which meds to try next, or is it more patient specific?
   
4. On the topic of meds, I'm reading that Latuda and Lamictal are prescribed primarily for Bipolar Depression. I don't think I've ever seen her experience the depressive side so I guess the meds are working for that, but why wouldn't she have been on something to prevent mania too?
   
5. When someone is admitted inpatient for BPD mania or depression, do you keep them on what they were on or start fresh with the assumption that the current medications or dosing aren't working?
   
6. Update: The social worker called will I was typing this. Previously, she was prescribed 80mg Latuda and 200mg Lamictal(I think). Now she's off Latuda, on 50 mg Lamictal, and 2mg risperidone. Can you give me an educated guess as to why they made these med changes? The social worker wasnt sure.( I see risperidone is for mania so that makes sense)
   

I guess that's all for now. If this gets posted and not removed, thanks for a reply to any of the questions. Maybe one day I'll actually get to talk to the psychiatrist taking care of my wife.

The People’s Republic of China (PRC) is the world’s emerging superpower. However, it is also a country facing a growing number of economical, social, and ecological issues.
China’s GDP exceeds $11 trillion dollars, making it the second largest in the world after the US. Despite this, its rate of economic growth has sharply dropped to 6% in 2016 from 9% in 2013. The PRC has a highly centralized and government-managed economy, along with strictly regulated political life. Notwithstanding, some Chinese provinces are allowed to pursue independent economic policies.
China officially has a multi-party political system. However, in practice, there is only one party that holds significant power — the Communist Party of China (CPC), which was founded on July 1, 1921. The CPC’s ideology is based on the Marxist-Leninist doctrine introduced by Karl Marx (a Prussian economist) and Friedrich Engels (a German philosopher and businessman) in the 1880s. This doctrine was later supplemented by the theory of Socialism by Vladimir Ulyanov-Lenin (a Russian politician and revolutionary).
The doctrine postulates that society is composed of two major economic classes — the working people (exploited) and the bourgeoisie (exploiters). According to this theory, a global economic crisis will lead to a revolution, with the working class taking control of the world and the bourgeoisie being eliminated. Ultimately, capitalism will cease to exist, and communism (where goods are freely available and nobody works) will prevail. Mao Zedong, the founder of the CPC, adapted this theory to the Chinese context by including Chinese farmers in the definition of the working class.
The PRC government plays a central role in both the political and economic aspects of China. The CPC governs China through an administrative pyramid, with the Central Committee (Politburo) and the National Congress at the top.
The National Congress is comprised of over 2000 delegates who are elected mainly from local CPC committee members. This assembly convenes for a two-week session in Beijing once a year. The 22 Chinese provinces are managed by regional governors appointed by the Central Committee, and their primary objective is to fulfill the CPC’s goal of achieving GDP growth. The government operates based on five-year plans.
The list of other political parties in China includes:
Revolutionary Committee of the Kuomintang (53,000 members, representing Taiwan residents in China); China Democratic League (130,000 members, mainly composed of the middle class); China Democratic National Construction Association (69,000 members, consisting of entrepreneurs); China Association for Promoting Democracy (64,000 members, primarily intellectuals); Chinese Peasants’ and Workers’ Democratic Party (65,000 members, representing government employees); Zhigongdang of China (15,000 members, representing overseas Chinese); Jiusan Society (68,000 members, comprising individual professionals); Taiwan Democratic Self-Government League (1,600 members, including prominent Chinese celebrities). All of these parties are aligned with and support the CPC in its major initiatives and policies. Opposition to the CPC is not tolerated.
Economic Review
Administratively China consists of 22 provinces, 5 autonomous regions, 4 municipalities directly under the central government, and 2 special administrative regions.
China’s main economic regions:
Eastern Coastal Region: This region includes provinces like Guangdong, Jiangsu, and Zhejiang, as well as Shanghai. It has been a major driver of China’s economic growth due to its proximity to international trade routes and its well-developed infrastructure. The Eastern Coastal Region contributes approximately 45–50% to China’s GDP. Western Region: The Western Region comprises provinces such as Sichuan, Chongqing, and Yunnan, as well as the Tibet Autonomous Region. This region is known for its rich natural resources, including minerals, energy, and agricultural products. The Western Region contributes around 15–20% to China’s GDP. Central Region: The Central Region includes provinces such as Henan, Hubei, and Hunan. It is characterized by a mix of industries, including manufacturing, agriculture, and services. The Central Region contributes roughly 15–20% to China’s GDP. Northeastern Region: The Northeastern Region consists of provinces like Liaoning, Jilin, and Heilongjiang. Historically, this region was a vital industrial base for heavy machinery, mining, and manufacturing. However, it has faced economic challenges in recent years. The Northeastern Region contributes approximately 7–10% to China’s GDP. Pearl River Delta: The Pearl River Delta is a highly urbanized and economically dynamic region located in Guangdong Province. It encompasses cities like Guangzhou, Shenzhen, and Dongguan. Known as a manufacturing and export hub, it has played a pivotal role in China’s economic growth. The Pearl River Delta contributes around 10–15% to China’s GDP. Yangtze River Delta: The Yangtze River Delta region covers Shanghai and the surrounding provinces of Jiangsu and Zhejiang. It is one of the most economically developed and prosperous regions in China. With a strong focus on finance, manufacturing, and services, the Yangtze River Delta contributes approximately 20–25% to China’s GDP. China’s Latest Economic Updates
Stock Market
The Shanghai Composite rose from 2892 in November 2022 to 3284 (as of May 17, 2023).
Currency
Yuan rose from 6.7 in Jan 2023 to 7.0 as of May 17, 2023
Employment
In March 2023, China’s surveyed urban unemployment rate decreased to 5.3%, the lowest in seven months, from February’s 5.6%. Those aged 25–59 saw their jobless rate drop to 4.3% from 4.8% in February, while those aged 16–24 increased to 19.6% from 18.1%. The unemployment rate in 31 large cities and towns also declined to 5.5% from 5.7%.
Employees’ average weekly working hours across China increased to 48.7 in March from 47.9 in February. In the first quarter of 2023, the unemployment rate slightly declined to 5.5% from 5.6% in Q4 2022. The government has set a target of around 5.5% for the year, with the creation of approximately 12 million new urban jobs. China has also set a 2023 GDP growth target of about 5%.
GDP
China’s economy grew by 2.2% (SA) in Q1–2023, the third consecutive quarter of expansion following the removal of travel restrictions in Dec-2022 and a three-year crackdown on tech firms and property. However, the uneven recovery showed that while consumption, services, and infrastructure spending picked up, slowing inflation and rising bank savings led to doubts about demand.
In Mar-2023, the central bank cut lenders’ reserve requirements for the first time in 2023 and Beijing promised more fiscal stimulus.
Inflation
In April of 2023, China’s inflation rate declined to 0.1% from the previous month’s 0.7%, which was lower than anticipated. The decrease in prices for both food and non-food items was due to an unstable economic recovery after the enclosure policy was lifted. Food prices fell notably due to lower prices of pork and fresh vegetables, while non-food prices fell due to lower prices for transportation and housing. Inflation for health remained steady, while education costs increased.
Trade
Country’s exports rose unexpectedly by 14.8% YoY to a high of USD 315.59B in March 2023, rebounding sharply from a 6.8% drop in January-February combined and beating market consensus of a 7% fall. It was the first advance in shipments since September 2022 as Beijing boosts trade with developed countries and emerging economies. Steel products (53.2%) and refined products (35.1%) were the largest contributors. Exports to China’s largest partner, ASEAN, rose 35.43%, while those to the EU (3.38%) and Russia (136.43%) also increased. Conversely, exports fell to Japan (-4.8%), Taiwan (-27.6%), and the US (-7.68%), while they expanded to Australia (23.7%) and South Korea (11.3%).
SVET Analysis Space (A-):
Advantages:
Strategic location: China is located in the heart of Asia, which gives it a strategic location to engage in trade and diplomacy with neighboring countries. China also has access to the Pacific Ocean, which allows it to trade with countries in the Americas and Oceania. Natural resources: China has significant reserves of coal, iron ore, and other minerals. The country is also the world’s largest producer of rare earth elements, which are essential in the manufacturing of high-tech products. This resource base has fueled China’s economic growth over the past few decades. Agricultural productivity: China has a large and fertile agricultural base, which allows it to produce significant amounts of food. The country is the world’s largest producer of rice and wheat, and it has made significant advances in crop yields through the use of technology and modern farming practices. Disadvantages:
Natural disasters: China is prone to natural disasters such as earthquakes, floods, and typhoons, which can cause significant damage to infrastructure and disrupt the economy. Resource depletion: China’s rapid economic growth has led to the depletion of some of its natural resources, such as water and arable land. This depletion can lead to environmental degradation and food insecurity in the future. Energy dependence: Despite having significant reserves of coal, China is also heavily dependent on imported oil and gas to meet its energy needs. This dependence makes the country vulnerable to supply disruptions and price fluctuations on the global market. Voice (C):
Pluses:
Stability: The Chinese government prioritizes maintaining stability and order in the country, which has helped to ensure social cohesion and economic growth. Economic development: China’s political system has enabled it to pursue policies that have led to rapid economic growth and development over the past few decades. Nationalism: The Chinese government emphasizes the importance of national unity and pride, which has helped to foster a strong sense of identity among Chinese citizens. Strategic planning: The government’s focus on long-term planning has enabled China to achieve its ambitious economic and geopolitical goals. Minuses:
Lack of political freedom: The Chinese government tightly controls political expression and restricts freedom of speech, assembly, and association, which has led to criticism from human rights groups. State control: The government’s control over the economy and key industries can stifle innovation and limit the potential for private sector growth. Lack of transparency: The Chinese government is known for being opaque in its decision-making processes, which can lead to uncertainty for businesses and investors. Human rights violations: The government’s policies towards ethnic minorities, such as the Uighur population in Xinjiang, have been criticized by the international community for alleged human rights abuses. Ethos (B-):
Han Chinese: The Han Chinese are the largest ethnic group in China, accounting for over 90% of the population. They enjoy the most favorable treatment from the government and have access to the best jobs, education, and healthcare. However, this has led to some resentment from minority groups who feel marginalized. Ethnic minorities: There are 55 recognized ethnic minority groups in China, including Tibetans, Uighurs, Mongolians, and others. They often face discrimination and limited opportunities for advancement. Some minority groups, such as the Uighurs in Xinjiang, have also been subject to government repression. Rural residents: China’s rural population is around 40% of the total population. They often have limited access to education, healthcare, and job opportunities compared to urban residents. However, the government has implemented policies to try to bridge this gap, such as investing in rural infrastructure and offering subsidies to farmers. Urban residents: China’s urban population is growing rapidly and has access to more job opportunities, education, and healthcare than rural residents. However, this has also led to increased competition for resources and rising income inequality. Time (B-):
Positive scenarios:
Continued economic growth: China’s economy has been growing rapidly over the past few decades, and it is likely to continue. This could result in increased prosperity and an improved standard of living for many Chinese citizens. Technological advancement: China has made significant strides in technology and innovation, and this trend is likely to continue. This could result in China becoming a global leader in technology, creating new industries and high-paying jobs. Improved infrastructure: China has been investing heavily in infrastructure, such as high-speed rail and new airports, which can improve transportation and connectivity and stimulate economic growth. Increased global influence: As China’s economy and political influence continue to grow, it could become a dominant player on the global stage, shaping international politics and economics. Negative scenarios:
Environmental degradation: China’s rapid economic growth has resulted in severe environmental problems, such as air and water pollution. If this trend continues, it could have severe consequences for public health and the environment. Social inequality: China’s economic growth has also created significant social inequalities, with a wealthy urban elite and a poorer rural population. This could result in social unrest and instability. Political repression: The Chinese government’s increasing control over the media and the internet, and its crackdowns on dissent, could result in greater political repression. Economic slowdown: China’s economic growth has already slowed in recent years, and if this trend continues, it could result in job losses and economic instability, which could have global consequences. Overall
The Chinese reforms were initiated by Deng Xiaoping (1978–1992) in the late 1970s. These reforms aimed to open up China to foreign investment, encourage private enterprise, and modernize various sectors of the economy. As part of these reforms, the number of directly controlled industries was drastically reduced. Additionally, the number of price-controlled goods decreased from approximately 300 to around 20.
With that said, the government still exercises strict regulatory oversight and establishes guidelines and policies that private businesses must adhere to. State-owned enterprises (SOEs) continue to play a significant role in the Chinese economy and frequently receive preferential treatment and support from the government.
Those policies were continued under Jiang Zemin (1993–2003), during which China was accepted into the World Trade Organization (WTO) on December 11, 2001, and also under Hu Jintao (2003–2013). However, when Xi Jinping (2013-present) assumed power, there was a gradual shift towards increased direct control over the economy and the establishment of a more centralized system. This change was accompanied by the active implementation of mass-surveillance technologies.
That happened synchronously with the end of the world’s latest 80-year-long generational cycle, which began in the 1940s and 1950s. This cycle was characterized by massive political decentralization, resulting in the emergence of several dozen new states between 1940 and 2000. After the 2007–2008 debts debacle, this cycle of economic expansion, driven by the exploitation of readily available resources, came to a close. However, it was artificially extended for the next 15 years through the easing of monetary policies pursued simultaneously by central banks worldwide.
That led to an unprecedented growth of private businesses worldwide. It was accompanied by increased prosperity and a rising level of education across all segments of the population. Small and medium-sized entrepreneurs, particularly in the high-tech industry, began to assume leading positions in the economic landscape. However, this economic progress was not accompanied by significant political reforms.
The old class of hereditary, mostly populist politicians, who often lacked education, managed to stay in power throughout that period, largely due to the outdated electoral system based on indirect political representation. However, when blockchain technologies were utilized to establish algorithmic consensus and enable effective direct governance, this new system faced resistance from entrenched political clans in all countries, resulting in its suppression.
China is currently at the forefront of this trend, with its political class focused on leveraging high-tech advancements to achieve both economic efficiency and comprehensive political control. However, there are two significant obstacles that China faces along this path.
Firstly, China is confronted with a shrinking population. In recent years, the country has undergone a substantial demographic shift characterized by an aging population and a decline in the working-age population. This is partially attributed to the one-child policy that was enforced from 1979 to 2016, resulting in a diminished labor force and a growing proportion of elderly individuals.
Secondly, there is a culmination of the resource-exploration and expansionist phase of global economic growth, accompanied by escalating political and military tensions worldwide. This situation is likely to result in a reduction of China’s import markets and an increased dependence on a less-competitive domestic market. Consequently, this could potentially lead to a scenario of stagflation, characterized by stagnant economic growth coupled with high inflationary pressures.
Faced with these fundamental challenges, it is highly probable that China will resort to aggressive and militaristic policies in an attempt to expand its territory directly or enforce its economic dominance in the Asian region through alternative means.
China is expected to continue on its trajectory towards increased global dominance through local conflicts and enhanced technological control over the economy and population over the next 15–20 years. However, this trend could be altered by a new wave of decentralization, which would require a significant deviation from current policies.
Such a shift may occur when not only the current generation of older politicians, but also the subsequent one (which is likely to further reinforce the existing trend), is replaced by “enlightened” technocrats who advocate for a return to decentralized approaches in both politics and economics.

Help with this issue: Whenever I plug in my Alienware M15 R6 to charge and it goes into sleep mode for any reason, it won't power back on. I've attached a video demonstrating the issue. The only solution I've found is to remove the back cover, disconnect the battery, reconnect it, and then it powers on. Does anyone have a solution to this?
https://reddit.com/link/13w6mru/video/oqqtulgeo33b1/player

I wanted to re-watch it as it was my favorite video. Did he have to remove it for the controversial subject matter?

Seth Williams (REtipster) - Land Investing Masterclass Download
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Downloads

Stable - Gaiman (Recommended)

Android, Linux, OS X, Windows

Experimental (Not recommended)

Automated Installation

Catapult Game Launcher (3rd party, pretty convenient, more details in the link)
CDDA Game Launcher (3rd party, pretty convenient, more details in the link)

Manual Installation

Android, Linux, OS X, Windows
iOS

Compiling Guide

Controls (not up to date, controls for mobile can vary)

Helpful Guides

• Item Database
• Skill Training (Siersha - up to date for build #10626)
• Modding
• Detailed Guide (mlangsdorf)
• Quickstart Guide (DracoGriffin & AMurkin)
• Improved Text Readability (Bilb0)
• Tutorials
• Video Guide (Vormithrax)
• More Video Guide (GrandpuhTy)
• Written Guide (Pr0manTwitch)

Featured Let's Players

Individuals that are currently known for playing C:DDA. List is subject to change (maintain active and current streamers), send modmail if you'd like to be added.

Player(s)	Twitch	YouTube
Vormithrax	Link	Link
TheMurderUnicorn	Link	Link
TheCritsyBear	Link	Link
RyconRoleplays	None	Link
Orange01gaming	None	Link
nonsonogiucas	None	Link
GrandpuhTy	Link	Link

Memorial

Individuals that used to play C:DDA but have gone on hiatus or stopped streaming. These are mentioned here as requested by the community for being noteworthy.

Player(s)	Twitch	YouTube
flakaby	Link	None
Pr0manTwitch	Link	None
CromulentArcher	None	Link

Semi-Multiplayer - WatchCDDA.net

WatchCDDA.net is hosted by r7st and allows for semi-multiplayer ASCII version of Cataclysm: Dark Days Ahead. It can be a bit confusing to get started so make sure you check out the Instructions page for more details and join that Discord to communicate while playing. Any issues need to be expressed on WatchCDDA's Discord, not the subreddit - any troubleshooting posts will be removed.

• Requirements:
• WatchCDDA.net Account (set up is on Instructions page)
• SSH client (like PuTTY)
• Willingness to use ASCII (no tilesets yet)

FAQ

• How do I use this subreddit?

If you're new here, make sure to read through the above. Secondly, any simple questions should be confined to this weekly announcement post. If you've found a bug or a new strategy, or wondering what type of playthrough to try, you should make a separate post about those.

• Flairs? What are those?

There are two types of flairs: user flairs (which are currently customizable) and post flairs. If you make a post, make sure you're flairing it appropriately for others. There are some exclusive flairs you cannot pick but should be on the lookout for, such as:
Changelog - these posts have very informative posts regarding changes.
Fixed - these posts generally have a solution to a bug or problem.
Lastly, if you flair a post [Help Wanted] and someone answered satisfactorily, make sure to re-flair it with [Solved] so others can find the solution instead of looking through tons of posts.

• Oh no, my anti-virus says the launcher is a threat!

Antivirus products are known to detect the launcher as a threat and block its execution or delete the launcher. The reason for this is uncertain, but most likely due to a launcher component, PyInstaller, that is commonly flagged as a threat by antivirus software. A sufficient workaround is to add the launcher binary to your antivirus' whitelist, or to select the action to trust this binary when detected. More information can be found from the launcher's FAQ on Github.
If you are paranoid, you can always inspect the source code yourself and build the launcher from the source code. However, you are still likely to get false positives.

• The UI is broken or weird, is this normal?

If you think the UI isn't set up correctly, make sure to press } to access the UI Settings panel. You will be given a choice of several different styles, with "Labels" being the recommended setting for new players and "Classic" for veteran players.

• I think the subreddit should have ... or The subreddit should change ...

Great! The modteam is always looking for feedback, please make a post about your purposed change or idea and let the community decide through voting and debate. If it's something that is a bit more sensitive, please send it through modmail.

Throwaway account because I am absolutely terrified of legal repercussions from Scribe. I was a full-time employee at the company for over 3 years and I just want my voice to be heard. If you have questions, leave them here, because I'm ready to tell the truth. Apologies if this is a little scattered. I have a lot to say and I don't think I have the energy to be particularly coherent. I also apologize if some of my timeline info isn't 100% correct; the months at Scribe have all blended together and I don't have access to any of my Scribe tech to confirm my dates. One last disclaimer: I was not a ghostwriter for Scribe, and my work never involved writing, so don't hate me for typos and grammar mistakes!
First, this Glassdoor review is the most honest thing I've ever seen a current/former employee write about the company. Despite the fact that Scribe has won a number of "Best Workplace" and "Best CEO" awards, it was a truly horrible place to work. I, as well as many of my coworkers, was constantly shocked when we won or ranked in those categories; we were all filling out the surveys with the lowest scores possible.
Two groups of people seemed to float the company through with those surveys: 1) the leadership/crew members who had been there for 5+ years and made a lot of money off the backs of the lower-paid workers and 2) the constant stream of new employees that were being hired to replace those who left or were fired. These new employees were practically waterboarded with the "Scribe is the best company in the world" juice.
For crew members like me, who were "veterans" with 3+ years at the company, silence was the code. If you wanted to make it to "veteran" status, you had to keep your mouth shut about the things you were seeing, and the way people in leadership were treating employees. This created a really stratified work environment where you had:

• The super highly-paid and underqualified OGs who mixed up and poured out the "Scribe is perfect" Koolaid
• The veterans who only made it past their second year at Scribe by keeping their mouths shut
• The newbies who were bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, and drowning in the juice

To be honest, things didn't really get bad until Tucker and Zach left the company in Jevon's hands. I know that Jevon is revered in the business world, but he is the closest thing to a modern-day snake oil salesman that I've ever seen. He coasts on charisma and re-purposed adages so that nobody questions his poor decision-making skills.
The truth is that Jevon was always in over his head. Scribe never had a CFO because Jevon kept insisting that we didn't need one. But his decisions about money were so erratic and set off alarm bells for many of us.
Scribe’s last allegedly profitable month (according to the finance documents that the Master of Coin would release every month) was January 2021. In 2022 alone, the company lost $3 million and revenue was down by a quarter. By March of this year we were losing $800K a month. Meanwhile, payroll doubled from 2021 to 2023 and JeVon decided to double the office space (rent is $100K a month). He also seemed to spend a lot of money on his own personal branding/marketing. At one point, cameras were following him around the office.
It was clear to anyone looking at the numbers that the path we were on was unsustainable. Multiple times every month, employees would beg leadership for an explanation of how we were still operating, or ask for a plan to make us profitable again. In response, the inner workings at Scribe became more and more opaque.
For example, the all-hands call that was supposed to take place in January was canceled with absolutely no explanation, and when all-hands meetings resumed, the "open discussion" about finances was removed from the agenda. On two different occasions, we were informed that checks would not be sent out on time because of "payroll issues," but when pressed for an explanation, leadership intimated that it was due to some kind of error or technical issues rather than a lack of funds.
In August of 2022, leadership enacted a hiring/salary freeze, but kept telling us not to worry, and that "Jevon had planned for this dip in profit and everything was going to be completely okay because Jevon knew what he was doing." He then set out to find outside investors to sink more money into the flagging company.
I'm told that he turned down a number of lucrative offers ($60 mil was the amount being thrown around) because potential investors wanted Jevon to stay on as the CEO, while he wanted to leave the company and start a hedge fund. He was basically looking for someone to finance the company so he could dip (from what I could tell).
Early this year, we were all very relieved when it was announced that Jawad Ahsan was coming on as an investor (co-owner? I have no idea; the announcement made about this move was not very detailed). Things seemed like they may genuinely improve, and hiring ramped up, which we all took to mean that the money necessary for new employees did actually exist.
Then, in late April/early May (I no longer have access to my Scribe slack, so I can't confirm the exact date), we were informed that Jawad had "pulled his funding." Jevon's message to us stated that Jawad had "been offered a dream position as CEO of a new company" and had pulled out his investment in Scribe, which was why we wouldn't be making payroll that week. (Come to find out later that this was a lie).
At this point, my coworkers and I are very, very nervous, and are pinging the leadership team constantly, asking for explanations or updates. Anything to ease our anxieties. We are all given the run-around.
Then, the sudden layoffs. At around 3ish on the 24th, everyone receives a Google calendar invitation to what is ostensibly an update meeting about the future of the company. However, we're told that there are two separate sessions (because they want us in smaller groups to leave more room for questions) and to make sure that we all attend the correct session. We start looking into the different groups and realize that one group has 85+ people while the other only has 20ish people. And on top of that, the group of 20ish people contains all of the executive team's closest friends.
That's when we realize we're about to be laid off.
In a group Zoom call, we are told that our jobs no longer exist, that our tech is being shut down immediately, and that insurance runs out at midnight. No severance.
One of the people in our meeting is the Editor in Chief who was at the company since day 1; I still cannot believe they treated him this way.
Another person in our group is the IT guy, who is then told that he would actually have to come back into work the next day (paid an hourly wage) so that he can shut off all of our tech....THEN he's gone.
On the call, one employee specifically calls about Jawad, who we are all surprised to see on the call, as we'd been told that he pulled out his investment. She asks him to explain why he pulled funding from Scribe. He is shocked and confused, because not only has he not left Scribe (he is still on the board of directors today) but he has also invested more money in Scribe than Tucker, Zach, or Jevon. Jevon immediately cuts in and directs any questioning from Jawad (I think he got caught in his previous lie).
Since the layoffs, a few ex-Scribe members and myself have been keeping track of some very suspicious financial/legal behavior (which I do not want to disclose in case it is actionable). However, there are still many freelancers who have not been paid in over a week; one freelancer is owed $17k in back payments.
Scribe is telling its authors that it is "still operating" with a skeleton crew, which is laughable. They maybe have enough people on staff to launch the next two weeks' worth of books, but beyond that, there is no way the 20ish employees left can keep 300+ books alive. Not to mention some of the people kept on the skeleton crew have been at the company for less than a year, and were only kept on because they were old friends of the CXO. Not the most competent employees...
The executive team is still claiming that once the sale of the copmany goes through in 2 weeks (I do not believe there really is a buyer lined up) that they will reach out to all employees laid off an extend an invitation to return. I can promise you that nobody will return. This means that if Scribe wants to be "fully operational" after the sale, they will have to hire an entirely new company. This isn't going to happen, given the media already out there about Scribe.
If you are a current Scribe author, please be very very cautious of what you hear from the company. We were directly told that Jevon is stepping down as CEO and President, but I'm hearing from current authors that he is still reaching out to them as the CEO and offering reassurances.
Please leave any questions below and I'll do my best to answer.

How difficult is it to remove tattoos from someone in a video or gif?

Wanted to write up a post to anyone who might be going into a C&P Exam for PTSD and wanted to know the experience of it.
TLDR version; make sure to study the VA PTSD DBQ, realize where the examiner is trying to trip you up (I honestly believe they try several tactics as detailed below). Realize they are not your friends and it's in your best interest to be as honest but as direct as possible.
Background Info:
I worked as a CT in the Navy, never went to medical while I was in as I was told getting mental help would get my clearance removed. Definitely experienced issues that I won't discuss here due to the nature of the clearance.
I had gone in to my local VA hospital with major depression and talked to them about being suicidal in January of 2022. They were able to get me a VA approved social worker to work with and annotated in my record that I had a positive screening for PTSD. I then went in to my local VA advocate February 2022 and started my claim. I've had a year of psychotherapy through the VA since then and I believe the social worker put down that she believed I had PTSD with major and chronic depression.
I got my counselor (I had been paying for the better half of two years) to write a letter I could submit as evidence detailing my depression and PTSD from his perspective. I had submitted a PTSD claim in 2015 but the file was closed without a VA examination (they couldn't find any links in my medical record of trauma even though I spent time overseas in a warzone). I was pretty defeated so this time I wanted medical evidence to support my claim.
It seem to have worked as I was scheduled my C&P exam in May 2023 (sixteen months from submitting my claim for anyone wondering how long it took to get the exam). During this time of waiting for my exam I submitted signed letters from my wife, her family (detailing my depression, suicidal thoughts, cutting, alone personality, etc) and also signed letters from two shipmates I served with detailing what happen to us.
The Exam:
I arrived 5 minutes before my exam and was pretty silent in the waiting room. The front desk person was VERY friendly, almost overly friendly. Asking how I was, how the drive was, how my week was going, what I thought of the weather etc etc. I put on my serious face and gave direct answers "could be better, it was long, not good, it's cold". She sat back in her seat and then was quiet. I waited there for about 10 minutes staring at the floor until the Optum Serve psychologist came out.
She walked me back to a room where the chairs were arranged facing away from the door and the windows, towards her with my back turned to both. I could tell it had been purposely arranged to make it inconvenient to move with a table dividing the area and force me to sit with my back to the door and window, so I rearranged the chairs and sat with my back to a corner facing everything.
She was nice but I could tell she had read up on my file. She began by telling me she could not diagnose any issues and began asking me questions about my mom and dad, how they were, if they loved me and if I ever felt alone prior to the military. She then asked if I had ever been abused sexually prior to the military or ever been in trouble at school or law enforcement prior. To each question I answered "no" and that I had a great upbringing as a kid.
She then asked if "I was happy" keeping it open ended, so I asked her if she meant if I was happy now or prior to the military. She then said "prior" so I told her I was happy before the military and miserable after just to make it very clear.
It was then she started to ask me questions straight from the PTSD DBQ that I had studied prior to going in (make sure to look over the DBQ to see where your exam is going). Almost verbatim one for one so make sure to memorize it so you can see where they are leading you. One question she tried getting me slip up on were "Did your suicidal thoughts come after you were in the military?" to which I replied "they started when I was overseas in the military in 2007 and have gotten worse since". She replied with "So they didn't start after service just to make it clear?" to which again, I replied with the same answer but added in the depression now has kept me from keeping employment since she was pressing it.
She then asked how I would commit suicide, if I had a plan. I replied with my plan as I have thought about it a great deal. She asked what had stopped me to which I gave her a reply that she wrote down. I told her I also cut now due to how my brain is working and she asked if that began after the military, I told her it started at my first command (the letter from my shipmate detailed this fact in her statement saying she saw cuts on my arms but was unable to help as she was so stressed out with depression).
Almost after EVERY experience I talked about with depression, suicide and self harm the psychologist kept checking to see if it happen AFTER service. It was almost deliberate how much she was trying to get me to say it started after I got out. (I recommend keeping an eye out for this when you go in for your exam as the wording was very weird).
Finally, I got into the sexual trauma I had gone through to which I started crying. I never reported it due to being threatened that my clearance would be revoked if I told anyone. It's a long story but I broke down to the psychologist about it. She too also started to cry along with me about all the experiences I had gone through and how hard it was at such a young age to experience it all. I could see the tear drops come down her eyes.
It was after her crying with me that I believe she changed from trying to see if I was faking everything to actually helping me, walking me through what she thought I was experiencing mentally. She was saying stuff like "if you haven't put this medical term on your claim, you might want to look in to it" or "I would go get this checked up on". She was asking me questions that I had seen others here say to mention like paranoia, not being able to have friendships, being distant, being alone, having security cameras around my house. Not liking loud noises, not liking crowds, having panic attacks, etc. etc. Again, it was like she was trying to now help my claim with questions I had forgotten to tell her due to nerves. We covered the entire DBQ by the end of the exam.
As far as what she was writing out, I could tell she was annotating everything on the computer and the entire exam was about an hour and a half. Finally, she asked me how I was feeling letting me know that "after talking to a VA psychologist that most veterans feel much better and the weight usually has been lifted off them". I think this was a final trip up question to see my reaction of saying "Oh I feel much better! Thank you!". I didn't fall for it and replied "I just feel broken". I got up and walked out of the exam room.
Walking out, the same front desk lady who was overly happy got up and said "Have a great day and enjoy the weather! Thank you for your service!". Again, another trip up for me to reply back with something nice like "oh you too!" in front of the psychologist, instead I just ignored it and walked out while they watched me walk to my car.
Post Exam:
I'm checking my VA claim daily online but haven't seen anything change past "evidence gathering". I'm hoping I made a strong case but I'm not entirely sure if I'll get a rating as I never have had one other than an injury of 10%. The entire ordeal has completely screwed with me mentally and I'm STILL exhausted by all the questions.
Hopefully this helps another veteran out there to get the rating they deserve. We went through a great deal to be where we're at now and if by going through it I can help others in their walk, I'll gladly be there to help.

Here are the details:

• The documentary is 9-1/2 minutes long.
• It shows 9 minutes of never-before-seen gameplay footage of a demo from mid-2022!
• It will be uploaded to YouTube.
• Subscribers will most likely be notified when the video is made public, nevertheless, please visit our channel on and before June 1st, regardless.

In other news:

• To expand on an announcement made in the video: We pledge to blog on this subreddit once a month or more from now on.
• Furthermore, we will be uploading videos to our YouTube twice a year or more beginning this year, and our newsletter will be revived and released quarterly rather than monthly!
• The quarterly newsletter will release in July first, then October, January, and April before the cycle begins anew. We're excited to release the late-July issue!
• We began a new year-long session of playtesting, which meant that veteran playtesters either renewed or were replaced by new help.
• Sadly, the game itself has not progressed much in the last ~45 days. The team has less time to work at the moment but we have plans to hire an intern to increase productivity. My personal focus has been on activities that keep the lights on, such as collaborating with playtesters and releasing this documentary to keep our YouTube channel active. Our goal is to report much progress in a month from now to make up for this month's drought.

Just noticed one of the Lets do this videos was removed/hidden.

My Chemical Romance formed in 2001 in New Jersey and would go on to define the 2000s "emo" scene. The 2004 album "Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge" and 2006's "The Black Parade" remain defining albums of the decade and have only grown with praise over time, while lead vocalist Gerard Way, guitarists Ray Toro and Frank Iero, and bassist Mikey Way have become icons all with massively devoted fanbases. Notice I named four band members there. A cursory glance of google images shows five band members in many of the pictures. More recent photos only show the four mentioned above, to reflect that currently, the band lacks a drummer. As far as the fandom was concerned, there never was one, despite all of the photos you see showing five members. What happened to the drummer, and why, compared to many other fanbases who cling desperately to the 'classic lineup', are MCR fans so eager to erase him? This is the story of how MCR's most famous drummer destroyed his reputation and became a pariah to the fanbase of his own former band.
The Golden Age of Bob:
Almost immediately after the release of Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge, My Chemical Romance was left without a drummer after Matt Pelissier was removed from the group. While not officially confirmed, poor live performances are often given as the reason for his dismissal. Quickly, MCR found a replacement in the form of Bob Bryar, who had previously been a drum tech for The Used, who MCR were close with at the time. Bryar would appear in every music video made for Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge, played on the live album "Life on the Murder Scene", and would continue to perform with the band through their next album, "The Black Parade" and its corresponding live release. Bryar's time with the band marked the band's explosion in popularity, and as such Bryar was showered in praise, fan art, and would appear in the band's infamously common RPF (I believe his most common ship was with Ray Toro), though to a lesser extent compared to other band members due to him being more introverted and not seeming too fond of the spotlight.
Bob Leaves MCR:
On March 3rd 2010, the following message was posted to the My Chemical Romance website, to devastation among the band's devoted fanbase:
"As of 4 weeks ago, My Chemical Romance and Bob Bryar parted ways. This was a painful decision for all of us to make and was not taken lightly. We wish him the best of luck in his future endeavors and expect you all to do the same."
No reason has been given to why Bryar left the group, though many rumors have circulated over the years. Bob is known to have not been a fan of the band's decision to scrap their initially planned fourth album, which would later be released under the name "Conventional Weapons", and disliked the poppier direction of its follow-up "Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys". In addition, Bob was beginning to have complications with his health on The Black Parade tour. Bob had received both third degree burns and a staph infection as a result of the filming of "Famous Last Words" music video, and would later have to sit out shows from November 2007 to January 2008 due to a "golf ball sized lump" in his wrist causing him to lose control and feeling in his fingers. Apparently, he had had problems with his wrist for years by that point. These injuries would leave lasting effects and ultimately make playing drums extremely difficult for Bob, leading to him essentially never playing drums again after leaving the band.
The more sinister explanation for his departure was that he had been feuding with, or even bullying Mikey Way and had been kicked out as a result, but only hearsay and Bob's actions post departure support this theory.
The Golden Age of Bob Making an Ass Out of Himself:
My Chemical Romance had broken up relatively recently, and even more recently, Mikey Way had gotten a divorce from his wife. Immediately after this, Way began dating a 19-year-old girl named Sarah. Immediately, people began accusing Mikey of cheating on his wife with this 19-year-old fan, and one of these accusers would be former bandmate Bob Bryar, who replied to an image of Mikey with Sarah's family with two emojis. 👪🍳 . This translated to "Family Breakfast". People praised Bob's joke as hilarious, due to Mikey being an enemy towards a lot of the fandom at the time. After this, Bob proceeded to run the joke into the ground. Eventually, however Bob went too far, replying to a tweet of Mikey's speaking about his drug addiction with the same two Family Breakfast emojis. By this point, the fandom had decided Bob had gone too far, being viewed as someone making fun of his former bandmate's drug addiction.
Bob had done a lot more than simply Family Breakfast to rub the fandom the wrong way, however, with some of the highlights including:
- Spreading (false) MCR reunion rumors, and just rumors about the band in general
- Making jokes about leaking Gerard Way's nudes. In addition, his profile picture of him wearing a black mask was interpreted by many (though not universally), as blackface
- Posting a "Find Kanye" meme many viewed as racist
- Making jokes about cops shooting protestors at 2015 Baltimore Protests inspired by the death of Freddie Gray
- As a side note, while many fans will point to Bob as having stolen from the band or setting the band's tour van on fire, neither of these are true. The former was done by Bob's replacement Michael Pedicone, and the latter is attributed to Matt Pelissier, though it's doubtful Matt actually set the band's van on fire either.
The combination of his edgy sense of humor and the Family Breakfast incident had made Bob a pariah among the MCR fandom, being viewed as a racist bully towards Mikey who was bitter about no longer being a band member. Bob was now intentionally forgotten by the fandom outside of naive and new fans asking what he had done. He no longer received any fan art or appeared in fanfic, a tumblr blog was made solely to edit him out of previous band photos, and fans would only ever mention My Chemical Romance as having four members. By 2015, Bob had abandoned his social media pages.
As for the remaining members of My Chemical Romance, none of ever commented on Bob's controversies. Mikey would later refollow Bob on Twitter, and according to Bob himself later on, the two had reconciled. During 2022, new action figures of the band would be made by Kidrobot featuring Bob, suggesting that his erasure from the band's history did not extend to the band members themselves.
Resurgence:
With his social media pages gone, Bob largely remained out of the public eye, getting a new job as a real estate agent. In June 2021, however, he would briefly return to social media in order to auction off the drum kit he had used for the "Helena" music video, donating the proceeds to Williamson County Animal Control and Adoption Center located in Franklin, Tennessee. According to Bob, this was his final drum kit and he was "permanently closing the book on his drumming days", citing the wrist issues he still dealt with, as well as his old age, weight, and desire to pursue "something new". His brief return caused fans to re-evaluate their treatment of Bob, with the aforementioned Tumblr blog dedicated to erasing him from photos being shut down. Bob would return once again in October 2022 to auction off his iconic Black Parade costume to benefit animals affected by Hurricane Ian, citing that "it's just sitting in a box doing nothing and people need help with money right now". During this auction however, Bob would have a concerning twitter incident.
​
Bob's Breakdown:
On the night of October 24th, Bob's twitter became active, with him demanding Worm (an associate of MCR) call him, and then shortly after, speaking out for the first time about the hatred he had received from the fandom. He mentioned wanting to be interviewed about his controversies and had seemingly picked up a new favorite annoying joke to shove into every post in the form of "Period. Ah!" Shortly after this, Bob claimed to have been driving while under the influence. Fan reaction was largely very concerned about his mental health, and many showed remorse about how Bob had been treated over the years and condemned those who were not sympathetic to his tweets, many pointing out that several fans had told Bob to kill himself during what many considered to be a mental breakdown. Fortunately, Bob would later return a few days later fondly reminiscing about his time on MCR, before quietly disappearing once again.
​
Conclusion:
While nowadays you can find more fans willing to reevaluate Bob's behavior as "not that bad" or at least believing the backlash to him was blown way out of proportion, it would be difficult to say Bob's image has been rehabilitated, with many more than willing to recap his various controversies to new fans wondering who he did, or on rarer occasions, who the hell Bob even is and genuine fans of him being hard to come by. Praise for him often comes in the form of "I'm not defending what he did, but.." At this rate, it's likely Bob's twitter incidents will continue to overshadow him for the foreseeable future, and in the eyes of many fans, My Chemical Romance are a band without a drummer, at least unless Jarrod Alexander gets a promotion form touring musician to full member. He seems to be the only one of the band's four long-term drummers fans seem fond of.

Been lurking here for a while but made an account to post this.
24M here, around October of last year I started to get huge cystic acne spots on my face that were extremely noticeable and leaving huge scars and I started to get really self-conscious about my skin and my appearance. I had always had acne, like since I was 13 and 14, and I remember my last appointment with a derm was when I was around 16 and I skipped it. I was prescribed doxycycline and some other stuff at the time, but I never really used it and never cared that much. I just used benzoyl peroxide or salicylic acid once a day, whatever was in the shower, and never thought about it that much. I picked my face when new zits appeared and went on about my business and honestly never thought about my acne that much except for when I saw my face in photos or videos, which was rare because I hated them at the time (not because of acne, just anxiety). I never even thought that much about acne when looking in the mirror except to pop, and it never really affected my confidence or self-image. I had plently of relationships and friendships, and honestly thought of myself as quite attractive.
Fast forward to now. I've been on benzaclin and tretinoin for about 4 months (some doxycycline as well to start) and my acne has really cleared up. I barely have any actives anymore, and when I do get them they're either much smaller cysts than before or just normal zits, and usually only one here or there. The problem though is that I've become super self-conscious and self-critical with regards to my skin. I now think about it all the time, and when I start to see a new zit forming, I literally go back and forth between my desk and the mirror repeatedly for hours monitoring its progress, hoping like hell it will not turn into a large cyst even if it's a barely noticeable blemish. I usually blame myself or my diet even though I eat healthier and am way cleaner in general than I was before. One small zit is enough to keep me in the house or circling in anxiety-ridden thought patterns even if its not that bad, and the second a whitehead appears I pop it and make it worse (even when I try not to, I recently got out the shower and just impulsively popped this big blackhead and immediately yelled at myself like WHY DID YOU DO THIS). I have had anxiety/depression for a long time, and it used to be focused primarily around thoughts and emotions connected to past events, but it feels like now that I've gotten over most of that stuff I've just replaced the negative thoughts with thoughts about my appearance and acne, even though it's not that bad. For example, I noticed a very small blemish appearing on my cheek today, can basically already see a whitehead forming, yet I am so nervous about getting cysts again I was doing all kinds of research and was ready to call my dermatologist and discuss Accutane. I feel like I'm severely overreacting to the situation, potentially making it worse with stress.
I know this is probably more a mental health thing than an acne thing, but does anyone have any advice on how to handle new zits appearing without turning it into the end of the world? Or how to stop caring so much about it? I feel like I should know the answer because I used to literally not give a shit about my acne at all but these cysts ruined my self-esteem and I'm so sick of it. I'm sick of spending so much time examining little pores on my face as if that's gonna do anything. I'm sick of being too scared to scratch my face when it itches. I'm sick of the disappointment, anxiety, self-hatred, and shame/blame I feel when I see a new zit. It doesn't help that I know I am likely somewhat to blame for letting it progress to cystic level, but I know for sure genetics are involved and I clearly lack control over the situation. I just want to stop letting it control my thoughts and my life and my feelings so much. Frankly, it's bullshit I don't need. And it's distracting me from staying focused on normal tasks and the things I enjoy. How do you move on from this? Any advice is appreciated.
TLDR: I used to not give a shit about my acne and it never affected me or my self-esteem. Started getting cysts and my self-esteem has been decimated. Although treatment has done wonders, I now freak out over the smallest zit appearing on my face. How can I return to not giving a shit? Is it possible?