Chunky spit up 2 month old

Spotify provides two primary subscription options: free and paid. Both tiers include access to a library of over 100 million songs, albums, playlists, and podcasts on the platform. As the most widely utilized music streaming service worldwide, Spotify prioritizes its subscription plans. Among the four paid plans - Individual, Duo, Student, and Family - all enjoy the same premium benefits. However, the Student plan is the only one that offers a discounted rate of $4.99 per month. This is an incredibly favorable deal for students looking to take advantage of Spotify's premium offerings.
Therefore, in this article, we will show you how to navigate the process of getting a student discount from Spotify, allowing you to access Spotify premium content at a 50% reduced rate. Don't miss out on this fantastic opportunity - if you're both a student and a music aficionado, capitalize on this deal now!

• ✅ Part 1: Who Is Eligible for Spotify Student Discount?
• ✅ Part 2: How to Get a Student Discount from Spotify?
• ✅ Extra Tip: Play Spotify 320kbps Songs Without a Student Account

✅ Part 1: Who Is Eligible for Spotify Student Discount?

Spotify offers a great deal for students who love music. Students who are currently enrolled in a college or university for which they can earn credits toward a diploma, degree, or professional license are eligible for Spotify student discounts. They can be undergraduate, graduate, and post-graduate students. Additionally, the students must be at least 18 years old and be able to provide proof of enrollment, such as a valid student ID or a transcript.
The discount is available in selected countries and is valid for up to four years, as long as the student remains eligible. The students are required to renew each year to confirm their student qualifications. Besides, the Spotify Student Discount is still available even if you study abroad. Students who graduate from school and leave school for any reason are not entitled to get a student discount from Spotify.
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It’s making me increasingly frustrated that there seems to be no one speaking about this subject, especially with the overwhelming amount of data, demonstrating cannabis's safety for recreational use. What confuses me the most though is that alcohol a literal neurotoxin responsible for the majority of car accidents in NSW, is readily accessible by anyone who is 18. Meanwhile cannabis is treated the same as meth and benzos. For anyone that says “oh but it’s a legal prescription medication”, think again, because although it might be a “legal prescription”, the average price of CBD oil is $150. Who can even afford that?That’s also for a 10mL bottle, that barely lasts a month. I personally think this is completely absurd, as for many Australians there aren’t a whole lot of safe medications, that actually help to treat anxiety, without the enormous amounts of side effects that you experience with traditional anxiolytics. For me personally I suffer from anxiety and cannabis has been the only treatment that has actually made a noticeable improvement in my anxiety (I have been bounced around 10 different meds for anxiety).
Also just to further my point, only 2.7% of Australians using cannabis to treat their health condition, had accessed legally prescribed medial cannabis, with the main perceived barriers being cost
Sorry for the rant and sorry if this post is really out of place. I just really want to raise awareness about this issue as it’s something that hasn’t really gotten the attention that it deserves. My old post was removed on the Australia subreddit due to it being too political.

Hi,
I have been having stomach rumbling type noises and discomfort sensation right below my rib cage (around where my large colon would be) for 2-3 months now. It does feel slightly like muscles moving food around but I did not use to get the same sensation over 3 months ago.
It occurs more around bed time/when I lie in bed and only occasionally during the day.
My doctor or GI have not been able to give me a good answer as to why this is occurring or any fixes.
I wanted to know if anyone else experiences this and if you have any tips on reducing the discomfort ?? as it keeps me up at night.
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I was diagnosed with mild-moderate left sided colitis in Jan of this year and have been taking Pentasa and Cortiment since.

I worked at a council run nursery school from last August to this April. I started off in a year-round position then moved rooms to a term-time position with a higher salary in Jan. I worked 1 whole term in this role on a payscale which gave me £24948 pro rata salary.
In this role my pay was stretched out to cover the summer - so I was paid 1/12th of my salary each month, including school holidays.
I've now moved to another term time position and obviously as I'm spending 1 term with them I won't be receiving a full months salary in August. My holiday pay will essentially cover 1/3 of my expected salary for August and my expectation was that my previous job would cover 1/3 too so I would end up in my original position, if I had stayed in the original setting, of receiving 2/3 of my monthly paycheck.
The council payroll team have told me they don't do it that way; you're just paid the same amount each month. So if I'd stayed I would've received a full paycheck in August but as I've gone I won't recieve anything.
My original contract is for another position with diff working hours, my 'confirmation letter - acting up' just says my pro rata per annum salary, no other info about working hours or holiday.
I've always been paid by the hour and not very much so this is new to me. I'm just wondering if there's anything I can do here as currently I'm taking home £1150 (full time, term time only, salary stretched out to cover August) which isn't enough to cover my living costs in an expensive city.

Alp first appeared similarly to goblins, another ancestry birthed them while infected by goblin pocks. Instead of humans, alp originate from tritons. Tritons are an extinct species of aquatic humanoids that banished alp to the surface just as humans banished goblins to the forest. Alp have now evolved to live on the surface but prefer to live on coastlines, having access to both water and surface. Strangely, somewhere on the evolutionary tree, alp developed telepathy and other psychic powers. Some speculate a shaman in the old days made a pact with a devil to gain these abilities, others speculate alp needed to ward off a threat now forgotten.
Alp form their own tribes, having little relations to other goblinoids. Despite their superior intelligence, alp cannot escape the goblin urge to steal and collect. Alp often don’t value gold, instead preferring to gather trinkets they wear on their head as a symbol of wealth.
Alp features

• Ability Score Increase. Your intelligence score increases by 2 and your wisdom score increases by 1.
• Speed. You have a base walking speed of 25 feet and a swimming speed of 30. You can breathe underwater.
• Age. Alp are adults by the age of 2 and can grow up to 60 years old. Alp don’t age visually but as they grow older their collection of trinkets they carry on their head grows larger. The alp elders often cannot walk because of the weight of trinkets on their head.
• Size. Your size is small.
• Languages. You can speak, read and write Ricosh and another languages of your choice.
• Telepathy. As an action you can mentally connect to a number of creatures up to your proficiency bonus that are within 30 feet of you. You and those creatures can communicate with each other mentally and do not need to share a language. To maintain this connection you need to concentrate as though concentrating on a spell. You can keep communicating with creatures you are connected with even if they leave your range as long as they are on the same plane of existence.
• Psionic Prowess. You can lift items with your mind. As an action you can choose a number of items equal to your intelligence modifier. As long as these items weigh ten pounds or less you can make them levitate. You can move these items up to 30 feet in any direction on your turn without an action as long as you concentrate as though concentrating on a spell, when you drop concentration all items you hold afloat fall to the ground.

I am a 23 year old student who is going for his masters to the US. I have heard everyone talking about credit cards and credit history. I had a couple of questions regarding this.
- I never had a credit card in india. Would this be an issue if i want to obtain a credit card in the U.S?
- Can i get an add on credit card from my parents which would work for my personal credit history or is it only going to affect their credit history?
- How can I apply for one without a U.S Social Security Number.
​
P.s. I have about 2 months left in india. Should I get a card and start building my indian credit score and use this score to get a credit card in U.S?
I also read that if I cancel a card, it affects my credit score. I dont know if this is true but I dont want to make a mistake of getting a card, not using it and eventually ruining my credit history.
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Also, if getting a card in india rn to build my history is viable, which starter card should I go with?
(I dont have any credit history as of now. (not even through education loan/car loan/any loan))
Any help is appreciated! Thanks!

My 4 year old has never been the best sleeper. He was fed to sleep until he was about 2.5 and then I used to stay in the room with him until he was 3.5. We’ve worked really hard the past year getting him to fall asleep semi-independently and put himself back to sleep if he wakes up.
There have been a lot of life changes recently and I think that is a big factor as to why his sleep has gone to crap. His bio dad (my ex) passed away, he’s getting a new sibling in 2 months and the house is being extended. A lot of unsettling things for a 4 year old to go through.
He’s fairly good at getting himself to sleep (we do 1 minute in the room and 5 minutes out). But every night he wakes up almost 2-4 times and comes into our room. I stay for a bit, stroke his head and go back to my bed. 20 minutes later he’s awake and in our room again. He’s started waking up at 5am saying he’s not tired (he definitely is). We encourage him to either go back to bed or to play in his room until the sun is up on his alarm clock (6am).
If we didn’t have a baby on the way then I’d just let him cosleep with us whenever he wakes up. But I’ll be having a c section so can’t have him in bed until my stitches are healed.
Apart from putting him back to bed each time he wakes up, any other gentle advice about getting him back to sleep? I put his yoto box back on at a low volume to kind of mimic his bedtime routine. I’m exhausted from the multiple night time and early morning wake ups.

I feel like I'm going to come across incredibly selfish and I hate that but I'm just going to let out what's in my head.
My partner (32) and I (29) have both been on the fence since we first got together. We are long term in a stable relationship and stable financially. In the last 2 or 3 years I have been slowly leaning towards kids. I am not maternal and seeing kids does nothing for me, but I love the idea of having a little family, of raising a kid in a loving and happy house and being able to go on trips and show them new experiences.
That said, I always have no money at the end of the month. I'm not an excessive spender, but saving money is so difficult when our mortgage, food and bills are so high, and keep going up. There's still places I want to see (we've talked about Japan since we first met and still have not saved up for this), as much as I want a child I fear we will only have enough money to live, and that's not a life I want for us or a child. I want to give them trips and experiences, even if they're just cheap little ones, but everything is so expensive atm I can't see how we can afford both kids and trips at the same time. I dont want a kid just for us to spend every weekend indoors or just going 40 mins from our house.
I feel like such a horrible person, like I'm prioritising holidays over kids, but just having money to simply exist isn't hopeful to me. For the record we both have good respected jobs, it's just we've wanted a holiday since covid and it's still taking months to save a little money for it. We've recently brought a house and it's taken all of our money, we are back to the start again with savings.
I'm honestly gutted at the thought of not being able to give a child a good life. I know holidays aren't everything but I don't want my life to revolve around money and restricting everything. We have good jobs and are good people, I just hate how prices are going up for everything and genuinely don't understand how parents can afford this. If I was going on holidays all the time or spending money on clothes each month this would be a no brainer, stop spending! But I just want enough to treat ourselves every once in a while and even that is difficult. I'm scared I'm going to come across and selfish or horrible but I don't think this is too much to ask for.

Hi folks,
I'm 2 months into house hunting and I just don't seem to be getting anywhere.
I'm considering getting the No Broker Premium plan where they have this "Money Back" guarantee (with T&C of course). You only get the money back IF, within 45 days, you are able to get a flat with the same requirements, same budget, same area, through your other avenues, THEN you get the money back. If Nobroker is not able to find you anything solid in 45 days, then that's not on them and they will not refund the money (8k + 18% GST)
With the Paid plan , they'll assign a relationship manager who'll help me with my search. They'll send me options from which I can visit up to 50 flats.
What I want to know is, what's their service like? Are these relationship managers responsive and will be actively looking and sending options every day What's the inventory like on NoBroker? I don't want to pay 10k and then realize their service is shit.
My Requirement is 2 BHK Fully furnished flat, budget 40-50k, in areas like Ulsoor, Domlur, Ashok Nagar, Richards town (Maybe Koramangla, Indranagar, Shanthi Nagar, Ashok Nagar, considering these areas typically have inflated rents)

I keep seeing comments all over reddit and twitter about how all the bullying surrounding Wifi players is scaring away casuals. That is actually the desired effect. The FGC is huge already, SF6 is one of the biggest games of the year already with a $1M pot incoming, with MK1 and Tekken 8 on the horizon. The FGC is extremely healthy. What the FGC doesnt need is laggy tourists who are only going to drop the game in 2-3 months. I repeat, these are the types of people the FGC doesnt need. The type of people who dont put in the effort and time to learn matchups, the type of people who cry for buffs to their character and nerfs to others because they dont want to improve, the types of people who want the FGC and the games we play to be changed to accomodate them, they want games to be dumbed down and simplified for them today when the fact is 5 year olds were doing hadoukens and shoryukens on the Super Nintendo back in the 90s.
WiFi players want to bring everyone else down to their level. They want your game to be as laggy as theirs is. Then they want to cry even more when you don't want to continue playing with them. They are detrimental to your experience and bring down the quality of the entire FGC as a whole.

I recently lost my Sony XM4s so was in the market for new ANC bluetooth cans. I already had the MTW3s and freaking love them -- especially after the most recent update -- so took the plunge on the M4s.
First set I could never get them to update to the latest firmware. And even on the old firmware, the software experience seemed super buggy; like I'd open the app and it wouldn't recognise them even though they were paired and connected. Sent them back and got a new pair.
Second set: the firmware and general connectivity seemed good. Tuned it with the Personalise sound feature. They sounded decent, but imbalanced. Left side was slightly muffled and the ANC was clearly weaker on that side. Overall ANC was insanely underwhelming, especially on a recent flight. I'd read complaints about the ANC but thought there's no way this is the intended experience. The sound quality was good but far from the praises I've seen from this sub and reviews. Sent them back again - figured one more try else i'll give up.
Just received my third set. Update to latest firmware was seamless. ANC seems somewhere btwn very good and great (on par with my XM4s), and after doing the sound personalisation, GODDAMN, these puppies are singing.
Shoutout to Amazon AU for faciliating 2 quick replacements. I am thrilled.
Sennheiser: i love you but your quality control team are not serious people

So general info is F24 135lbs 5'3", family history of asthma, diabetes, and several cancers. I dont know if any of this is relevant, just thought of it. My biliruben is high, ANA or something is a bit high too, vitamin D is consistently on the lower end despite taking prescription, I have IBS, high functioning autism, and asthma. Additionally, every now and then I'm considered anemic or close to, due to a heavy menstrual cycle and I get severe muscle cramps. Again, dont know if this is relevant.
So my concern is stiffness, weakness, and random pains... or more of not wanting to cry wolf with an actual doctor because Ive sort of already mentioned something about everything once, but never pushed it, because my mother is a helicopter parent that worries mercilessly (I am on her insurance and she has full access to all of my medical accounts). She is already worried that something is off so I try my best to neutralize it externally with an "Im fine" attitude.
Physically, I used to be active in highschool through track and field, but after, nothing. I tried going to the gym and it was just a social situation that made me too uncomfortable to go. (Ive recently moved and there is a gym offered at my apartment that is usually empty looking so I might start going). I felt that since I had a high metabolism and ate well that I could get away with it while Im young, but Im wondering if its affecting me.
My family has noted that I am a weak person and I feel like it. I get tired and really irritated really fast because of it, not being able to carry heavy things for long that they all (including my sister) seem to carry with more ease, and wanting to lay down more than they do. I cant open jars and sometimes ask for them to open waterbottles because my skin is sensitive to the ridges on the cap and it hurts. I used to be able to run for longer and sometimes I could still outjog my sister, but I dont feel that capable as of my present. I feel weak in my hands, arms, and stiff in my legs - Ive gone to PT for my leg already and they stretched me out regularly and put me on a light weight regiment for a month and that seemed to help a bit, but without the scheduled time to do it after I fell off.
To give some perspective, every morning I hobble out of bed with legs slightly bent and on my toes switching between legs quickly so I dont pull something until my legs warm up and I can stretch a bit to stand normal. Sometimes this happens in 8 steps, sometimes 4, and othertimes I just go to the toilet and worry about it after because its taking too long. The stiffness seems to be in my tendons on the sides and on the backs of my legs - I use a body pillow and not having it is a large inconvenience that will have some consequence in the morning. So much so that I gave my diabetic grandpa advice because he complained of leg cramps at night and I knew from its placement, and experience, that it was from the upper leg not being supported while laying on the side (how I sleep - I can only sleep on my right side comfortably for my back, and organs, it would seem).
Anytime I sit in a chair too long I get the same wobbly stiffness and sometimes a knee will become 'stuck' for a lack of a better word. My right leg has more of these issues than the left. Everyone calls me an old lady and seems to stand fine after these things.
Also, I get random pangs right below the belly button that cause pressure/pain in my superficial female region, as well as my left ribcage that sometimes affects my breathing, these pangs are fickle in consistency (days to weeks in between) but have been a constant in my life. Ive gotten a colonoscopy and wand ultrasound thing to address the abdomen issues and nothing was found. The general pains includes aches in my joints and muscles, but no swelling. Sometimes it feels like Ive worked out when I havent, and other times I feel fine.
Ive seen a doctor for autoimmune things, I think he specialized in arthritis and/or lupus (its been awhile) and he said until I showed swelling and rashes he couldn't really do anything for me (thats what I understood).
I just finished university and I took a few years longer, so Ive lived a pretty sedentary life for 6 years, dancing in my room (love dancing), going out with friends, and making various attempts to start a gym schedule, as my exercise.
Did my laziness cause this old lady stage in my life, or could I actually have something wrong with me and its just too light to diagnos?
Thank you if you got this far.

As our LO comes up on 20wks of age, and given his recent changes, I thought I’d post another update. A quick recap (for more details, see my other extensive posts): our LO was born 6weeks early back in mid Jan (so FRI he’ll be 20wks old, 14wks gest). His last weigh-in was on the 16th and his weight then was 12lb13.5oz – if my rudimentary weighing at home is anywhere near accurate (I hold him and weigh us on our scale, then weigh myself, and calculate the difference) then he MAY be 13lbs.. ish. He was diag’d w/reflux at about 3wks of age, and FTT about 2mo of age. He is still on 2 meds: Nexium and Famotidine. We are also fortifying his feeds. Due to wife’s medical issues he currently only fed formula (currently Up&Up Gentle or, as of now, Parent’s Choice Gentle (since the U&U is never in stock anymore, and these are both he same thing from the same company, it seems)). He is also still dealing with Rotavirus, which he was diag’d with back on May 4 – almost 4 weeks ago.. (BMs still show signs, sight and smell). For my own reassurance, let me lay some positives out. This sweet little boy is happy quite often. He makes eye contact with us, reacts to our voices/calling him. We tell him we love him and he smiles so big. We can tickle and play with him and get him to laugh and giggle. He grasps toys and holds them for several minutes (we have to place them in his grip or on his hands, but he will hold things and wave them around a bit). He’s very vocal, and at times we can almost do the talk-back-and-forth. We do tummy time often through the day – point of fact, yesterday he was up on his hands for about 7min (mind you I cheat just a tad – I put him in the bassinet with his knees bent, obviously, and his feet backed up against one of the bassi walls so his feet don’t come out from under him.. but he WILL hold himself up for awhile and he also holds his head up high). As far as baby stuff goes, he’s such an adorable, sweet, happy baby. However. Onto the big stressors. Folks… if any math is correct, he should be eating around 32oz every day. For the past… month or so, he has still not been anywhere near that. Whereas before the rotavirus he was averaging 21-24oz a day (which was already under his ideals), we have stopped logging again but rough math/memory says he’s been averaging 15-18oz a day, generous estimates. Please forgive the next large rambling, but I just want to vent and give as much detail as I can. We ae still far removed from feeding patters, feeding times, feeding schedules, feeding cues. If we had to guess, he sems to almost want to take longer gaps between feeds (like 4-5hrs) but he doesn’t eat enough to make those make sense – as in, even if he goes 4-5hrs he doesn’t eat a 5oz bottle. We tried every 2hrs for awhile, but it just wasn’t a sustainable thing for any of us involved. We try to feed him every 3hrs, but again there’s no consistency. He’s gone 5hrs before and only wanted an ounce, so there’s no telling. He will seemingly cue, but not eat. We kinda have to just wing it, make a bottle, and hope he even eats. Basically, no matter the time of the day, or which of us is feeding him, or which bottle we use, or which room we’re feeding him in, or which position he’s in, etc etc – not only is there no consistency/pattern/routine, he’s seemingly eating about half, or a little over half, of what he should be eating a day – yes, fortified, but still. And again, in the past 2 weeks he MAY have gained half a pound, or a little over. If that at all. For all I know, might be even less. All that was just about the amount he’s eating. There’s also HOW he’s eating. To start off, he just saw his feed spec for the third time. He did eat some during that appt and she studied him thoroughly. He has zero issues WHEN he feeds – good suction, pull, NO ties etc etc. However. Feeding him lately has been such a point of stress (I mean, it has been for months now, but still). -IF- we manage to feed him 8 times a day (usually 7), of those he MAY have fed sitting upright and awake once, MAYBE twice – and even of THOSE, he may have only taken an ounce or two while sitting up and awake. 80%-90% of what he intakes is when he is asleep (dream feeding), and 70%-80% of THAT is him laying down (which yes, we know the risks, but we know what to watch for, we monitor him, and the pedi and feed spec both say “if it works, get food in him” – we are careful when we dream feed on his back). He doesn’t scream/arch/stand/straighten much anymore, honestly if at all. He simply denies the bottle as if he’s not hungry/full (turns head away, pushes out w/tongue, leaves nipple in mouth but doesn’t latch/eat so it just drools out). Again – we only try a few times, and if he simply will not eat we call it quits and try later. We do not force the bottle, nor have we ever. So, so often he just will not eat, or eat very little, if he’s awake, even if it’s been several hours since he last ate. I.E. him only eating 2oz, and then only 3.5 five hours later. BUT, even his dream feeds he turns away or doesn’t eat a lot. There were times I could dream feed him 5oz at 2am, and here I am awake, stressed, because 2hrs ago at 2am he barely, BARELY took 1 oz. Dream feeding. Honestly, for me, it’s so typical to have feed him like this: it’s been 3hrs, make him a 3.5oz bottle, sit him upright, he takes ½ an oz, won’t take more, we walk/play/tummy/etc, he falls asleep, I put a paci in, after about 10min I try the bottle, he takes 20 swallows or so, I paci him and wait another 5-10min, and repeat. And again, he may take 1oz, he may take the 3.5. Who knows. I know, this is another long-winded post… As usual I’m just so stressed about him. The last pedi appt she said to keep on keeping on – no talks of tubing or hospitalization (he HAD moved from the 1% to the 5%, but who knows if that’s true now, 2 weeks later..). Same with the feed spec – no worries, just keep on trying to feed. But I just feel he’s either not gaining, or still gaining super slow. With him generally eating in the neighborhood of HALF what he should be, I just feel his stagnating, regressing, or just still making no progress. Might be mainly due to the rotavirus, but who knows. And that has to just “run its course” – that course has been a month or more now.. Every bottle is a point of stress for me. Every feed: on the outside I’m talking to him and smiling at him and encouraging him, but on the inside I’m hurting and stressing. Because, for example, I know 5 hours ago he only took 1.5 and now he’s asleep and seemingly won’t even dream feed. The days add up where I feel he’s only had 14, and 16, and 17, and 13, etc etc. Nowhere near 32, and not even the 21-24 he used to. For him, I’m happy and strong and loving and playful. Inside, my heart is still aching, and my mind is stressed out.

Edit: game not came. I ain't been caming.
I hate to grumble but here we go.
When I first started playing I loved this game because it was accessible for those who don't want to splash out every month on the shop. It was a longer road to be competitive for sure, but I was able to stick in the game and hold my own. Holding out for those cards was great - I still remember unlocking Dracula finally, and then when I got my hands on Modok I was ready to go with my trusty meta deck I still use today.
My first season, I ranked in the 80s, hit infinite in second and third and then this season....
This season has felt like the new cards have transformed the game and the meta which has been recieved well by players. But for me it feels like free-to-play players are getting squeezed out. There meta is now dominated by Hit Monkey, High Evo, Tribunal, Iron Lad, Nebula and Jeff. Even the old metas now use at least one or more of these cards to remain competitive. The power bar has risen from the old meta. Keeping up with the pace seems franetic. They nerfed my poor boy Lockjaw and now I've got to counter Nebula. Eessh.
This season I started at 70 and currently sit at 79.
When I switch to the only other meta deck I can access, Patriot, I drop like a stone. I've been waiting on Luke Cage, Hazmat, Darkhawk for months to create new decks but they feel out of reach in a way they didn't before.
Maybe I'm just having a down month. But I feel the pace of change has been too quick and free to play players are getting squeezed harder than a Mr Fantastic hug.

I don't exactly know how to describe how I feel. A potluck of anger, sorrow, confusion, anxiety, and hope is the closest I can get to truly describing how I feel. So much of myself and my current situation in life makes me feel terrible and is driving me into a deeper depression than I've been in and have genuinely no clue on what to do. I guess the best way to get it all out is just to go through it all, so:
To preface, some information: 19M. I go to counseling. I struggle with suicidality and depression and have for many, many years. I think I might be autistic but I don't know if so and I don't know what to do to test for it. I'm bisexual. I'm currently unemployed but looking for a job (unenthusiastically). I am not religious. I am freshly graduated from high school.
For starters, me, much of myself I'm confused about. I would say I have a solid understanding of myself, but a deeper part of me still doesn't know who I am. Gender is a good example of this. I'm AMAB, but I don't feel I align with being male; yet, I don't feel I align with being female. I don't feel that I'm non-binary, nor agender. I almost feel as if I'm both. I know that I shouldn't label it as that's putting it into a box, but I feel uncomfortable with the fact that I'm unsure on as to who I am. I have basic things that I like and could characterize myself with, but these are nothing more than things I like. I don't feel I know who I am.
I build up so much self-hatred and anxiety and have no control over this. I can be in a calm state, but one little thing reminds me of my struggles and within moments, my mind will barrel into all my darker thoughts and immediate suicidality sets in. It will build up, I'll mentally shut down and disassociate, and it will kill mood for however long it lasts (sometimes just an hour, sometimes a whole week). I fear so much and either don't have enough confidence, energy, or knowledge to confront them. Examples of these are: an immense fear of confrontation, I shut down upon any negative confrontation and all of a sudden, it feels as if I'm 10 again and a parent is scolding me and I can't do anything; an immense fear of failure, simply the thought of ending up an old, bigoted person who has nothing to show for their life and having accomplished none of their dreams absolutely terrifies me to a point of mental breakdown, and is the reason why I've decided to try and make changes; and a few more that I won't be going too into as this is already really long and don't want to make it too miserable to read; a fear of being judged, a fear of loneliness, and a fear of change. All this just seems to flood my thoughts all the time, creating an overarching dark cloud of my thoughts.
I struggle to open up and be honest. This post is an example of that, as this is one of the only instances I've actually had the ability to truly say how I feel. My family is very "traditional" (AKA, very bigoted) and emotions were very often suppressed, and some of my friends are of this same demeanor. I have tried to discuss some more personal feelings with friends and family but have unanimously been met with them ignoring me, changing the subject, or responding with a half-assed answer that doesn't mean anything. My friends who are more understanding do sympathize, but again offer no real help outside of cookie-cutter answers. I know this fear stems from these events, but it's been troubling as I struggle to truly open up to counselors, people lending a hand to help, and just be honest with my intentions. From struggling to ask for comfort when I'm struggling with very dark thoughts, to telling a store clerk that I'm okay whenever they ask if I need help finding something even though I can't find what I'm looking for. That is also another issue I feel I struggle with: a feeling that I myself need to do everything and must do it alone. I go to counseling but it's been tough to go, both because of this struggle to open up with myself and it's expensive since I have no insurance.
A lack of social connection has been a major tumor on my sanity. I feel so isolated. I live in southwest Florida and I live in a house that's really far from town. It's in the woods and an hour drive anywhere I go, but it's not like I have anywhere to go. To pile onto this, majority of my friends live so far away that I can't do anything with them (and the ones that are somewhat close either make me uncomfortable to be around or keep avoiding my offers to hang out). I often find myself feeling really lonely all the time. I talk to them online often, but due to their lives they aren't able to chat so often. Another aspect that's made me feel isolated is the people I live with. I live with my grandma and my brother, both of which I get along with fine, but I can't help but feel like they don't really care for me that much. Neither show any emotional connection, and I feel as if they only care about their perception of me rather than me, if that makes sense. With my friends being distant socially and physically, and my family being so different and emotionally dead makes it rough.
I have terrible social anxiety too. I get really scared to talk to people, and heavily struggle to make conversation. I want to make friends, but it feels so difficult to keep up a conversation and to talk to them again later on. I know it's not hard. If someone starts talking to me, I can sometimes make it work no problems. I sometimes surprise myself with how fluid and calm I can be when put in a situation of open conversation, but it's so terrifying to start it every time even though I know it's not hard. God forbid I find someone attractive, because mustering up the courage to say something could only done through a push from a friend. I often begin to shut down sometimes with friendships and will want to talk to someone, and think about them, but never do anything about it, and time will move on and they will move on, and a lost opportunity occurs.
Another aspect is because of the place I live in. With such a terrible drive and a town and place and I hate, I can't help but look around and dislike this place. I am someone who despises American infrastructure and cars. I hate corporatism and suburbia that plagues the US. I often see copy-and-paste houses that are way too expensive, with extensive roads of nothing, and a plaza of stores and nothing else around here. I dislike the way things are designed and I'm reminded of this every time I leave the house. There is a segment of the town I love due to its walkable and people-centric design, but that's so far away from where I live, and way too expensive to ever live near there for the near minimum wage job I'll soon have. I wish to move somewhere else that isn't suburbia hellscape, preferably outside of the United States, but I don't know how to even begin that process. I understand that I have to live with it for now, and that there isn't anything I can do about that, but it just frustrates me.
Tying into what I previously said, I feel like I cannot do anything on my own. I struggle to figure out how to do anything, minor to major. A recurring example is a haircut. I need a haircut, I know that I can make a reservation, or walk-in, just a phone call or drive, and what do I want? A simple trimming of my hair to keep it healthy, but I struggle to begin doing it. A more major example is beginning to make a plan to move to a new city, state, or country. I can look up how to and get in-depth guides on how to, but due to the work and information, it just becomes so intense of a thought that my brain shuts down when reading and I lose all attention. The more major, usually the easier my mind falls apart. I feel incompetent in my own endeavors to do anything, from simply folding the laundry that's been piled on my chair for a couple days to making plans for my dreams (I would love to work in the film industry as a screenwriter, director, or really just anything in the field. I have many, many ideas for what I'd wish to produce with great detail but struggle to apply for colleges). I feel like I can't do anything on my own. It took me a week to build up the confidence to write this out, as I've never posted on Reddit before and get nervous about these types of things anyways.
A bit of a rapid-fire of other struggles as this is already stupid long: I've never had a romantic relationship before and that kind of weights on conscious a little bit; I can barely get my sleep schedule together, as later in the night feels less stressful and so it incentivizes my mind to stay up, but I wake up pretty late as a result; I struggle to get out of bed every morning and lie there for an hour to an hour and a half each morning before getting up; and there's probably some more I can't of right now because I'm tired.
This is a hell of a lot of text. I'm sorry about that. I have felt like I'm spiraling into an extremely deep depression and no one seems to listen or care and I won't be able to see my counselor for another 2 weeks and just need someone to throw me a lifebuoy as I drown. This feels as if it's too personal for here, I don't know, but frankly, I don't know what else to do.
Thank you.

It’s been 2 months after the break up. I haven’t been thinking straight ever since the first day of it.. I was so shocked by the blindsided breakup, how fast he can change and how fast he is able to move on and find interest for other people while I was basically crying in bed, feeling like shit, can’t have any interest towards any guys for now. He is texting other girls while I can only sit alone and being very lonely. I feel like a loser.
So while I tried to get out of my sadness that he created for me, I failed. I accidentally called him to come to my place after a bad date with another guy. And from then on, we are having sex with each other and being exclusively fwb. However it feels so weird. I don’t know how the future will be and how us is gonna develop. We are not objecting to any possibilities but I don’t think we can get back together until we develop something new in between us. Tho I don’t know what can be new to us after being together for 2 years. We started our past relationship from fwb but at that time it was really fun and chill, we just followed the flow. But now I don’t know why it became this hard. He is also talking to other girls and me I really don’t know what I am doing. My mind is messed up with different thoughts. One part of me wants to continue to see the chances of us being together again, one part of me is sad that we are no more us ever again and one part of me is chill and doesn’t care so much, one part of me is still in love with him when I see his smile. I’m so fucked up in this situation.
Does anyone have the same experience with their ex? Did you get back together in the end or you got hurt even more?

I don’t even wanna get into everything, it’s such a long story. Been married a year. I moved across the world for him. He’s had some really hard times through the years with fucked up family shit and whatever, I’ve always been there and helped him. I didn’t think he’d ever hurt me.
A month after we got married I had this hit of intuition something was up. He’s not overly weird about his phone, but enough it made me wonder. I’m a curious cat. He had given me his bank statements 6 months prior for my visa, told me to not look through them because it’s weird, so I didn’t (I figured it was because all the fast food he was eating as he didn’t have a place to cook, and he’s also just very weird like that, it made sense in the moment because I’d be the same). Well the intuition made me go back to those bank statements (they were on my phone), and I found he was paying for Only Fans a year prior. Once I found this I decided to go through his phone. I don’t care that it’s “wrong”, I couldn’t live without looking. I found screenshots of women in his phone.
I don’t even know where to start with how much this has fucked me up. My confidence is nonexistent. I hate myself. I told him I knew about the OF but didn’t mention I went through his phone. To be honest I was so focused on the OF I didn’t even fully process the other stuff until recent.
He of course cried, apologised, said everything you’re meant to when you got caught being a big fat fucking lying piece of shit. I guess I believed it but now I don’t know.
He’s away for work, has been since Jan. I went into his old phone and it’s logged into Instagram. I’ve seen he’s recently saved a few videos of women, nothing sexual but they’re attractive. He’s also clicked only fans links recently, but I know he deleted his OF account (I have the log in), and I have access to his and our banks so I’d see if he bought anything. He’s unable to open a secret bank account right now with how his job works. But I mean who knows, right? Could’ve created a new OF account too I guess.
It just hurts. I’m so drained. But I also know leaving him doesn’t feel like an option, idek if that’s too extreme since I don’t know if this is cheating. I don’t count it as cheating, it’s just sad and scummy. I just feel so disrespected and unloved. Undesired, unwanted, not needed.
I cry every day. I starve myself. I wish I could be what he wants. I know someone out there would treat me how I deserve to be treated. I’ve only ever done right by him, done so much for him. I’ve done too much to be honest. Besides this he’s always been such a kind and thoughtful partner.
Thanks for reading if you have. I don’t have anyone to talk to. I probably won’t respond to any replies because I know a lot of people will call me stupid, ugly, etc. I’m already aware so I don’t need strangers telling me. I don’t have the mental capacity to deal with negative comments, I’m just going to post this and never look at it again.
Just thank you for being here.
And husband, I know you’re on Reddit, I think I’ve seen you on this sub. If you read this you might connect the dots. I hope you do, and I hope it makes your blood run cold and your heart to leap out of your chest - just like how it feels for me every time I find more betrayal.

As our LO comes up on 20wks of age, and given his recent changes, I thought I’d post another update. A quick recap (for more details, see my other extensive posts): our LO was born 6weeks early back in mid Jan (so FRI he’ll be 20wks old, 14wks gest). His last weigh-in was on the 16th and his weight then was 12lb13.5oz – if my rudimentary weighing at home is anywhere near accurate (I hold him and weigh us on our scale, then weigh myself, and calculate the difference) then he MAY be 13lbs.. ish. He was diag’d w/reflux at about 3wks of age, and FTT about 2mo of age. He is still on 2 meds: Nexium and Famotidine. We are also fortifying his feeds. Due to wife’s medical issues he currently only fed formula (currently Up&Up Gentle or, as of now, Parent’s Choice Gentle (since the U&U is never in stock anymore, and these are both he same thing from the same company, it seems)). He is also still dealing with Rotavirus, which he was diag’d with back on May 4 – almost 4 weeks ago.. (BMs still show signs, sight and smell).
For my own reassurance, let me lay some positives out. This sweet little boy is happy quite often. He makes eye contact with us, reacts to our voices/calling him. We tell him we love him and he smiles so big. We can tickle and play with him and get him to laugh and giggle. He grasps toys and holds them for several minutes (we have to place them in his grip or on his hands, but he will hold things and wave them around a bit). He’s very vocal, and at times we can almost do the talk-back-and-forth. We do tummy time often through the day – point of fact, yesterday he was up on his hands for about 7min (mind you I cheat just a tad – I put him in the bassinet with his knees bent, obviously, and his feet backed up against one of the bassi walls so his feet don’t come out from under him.. but he WILL hold himself up for awhile and he also holds his head up high). As far as baby stuff goes, he’s such an adorable, sweet, happy baby.
However. Onto the big stressors. Folks… if any math is correct, he should be eating around 32oz every day. For the past… month or so, he has still not been anywhere near that. Whereas before the rotavirus he was averaging 21-24oz a day (which was already under his ideals), we have stopped logging again but rough math/memory says he’s been averaging 15-18oz a day, generous estimates. Please forgive the next large rambling, but I just want to vent and give as much detail as I can.
We ae still far removed from feeding patters, feeding times, feeding schedules, feeding cues. If we had to guess, he sems to almost want to take longer gaps between feeds (like 4-5hrs) but he doesn’t eat enough to make those make sense – as in, even if he goes 4-5hrs he doesn’t eat a 5oz bottle. We tried every 2hrs for awhile, but it just wasn’t a sustainable thing for any of us involved. We try to feed him every 3hrs, but again there’s no consistency. He’s gone 5hrs before and only wanted an ounce, so there’s no telling. He will seemingly cue, but not eat. We kinda have to just wing it, make a bottle, and hope he even eats. Basically, no matter the time of the day, or which of us is feeding him, or which bottle we use, or which room we’re feeding him in, or which position he’s in, etc etc – not only is there no consistency/pattern/routine, he’s seemingly eating about half, or a little over half, of what he should be eating a day – yes, fortified, but still. And again, in the past 2 weeks he MAY have gained half a pound, or a little over. If that at all. For all I know, might be even less.
All that was just about the amount he’s eating. There’s also HOW he’s eating. To start off, he just saw his feed spec for the third time. He did eat some during that appt and she studied him thoroughly. He has zero issues WHEN he feeds – good suction, pull, NO ties etc etc. However. Feeding him lately has been such a point of stress (I mean, it has been for months now, but still). -IF- we manage to feed him 8 times a day (usually 7), of those he MAY have fed sitting upright and awake once, MAYBE twice – and even of THOSE, he may have only taken an ounce or two while sitting up and awake. 80%-90% of what he intakes is when he is asleep (dream feeding), and 70%-80% of THAT is him laying down (which yes, we know the risks, but we know what to watch for, we monitor him, and the pedi and feed spec both say “if it works, get food in him” – we are careful when we dream feed on his back). He doesn’t scream/arch/stand/straighten much anymore, honestly if at all. He simply denies the bottle as if he’s not hungry/full (turns head away, pushes out w/tongue, leaves nipple in mouth but doesn’t latch/eat so it just drools out). Again – we only try a few times, and if he simply will not eat we call it quits and try later. We do not force the bottle, nor have we ever. So, so often he just will not eat, or eat very little, if he’s awake, even if it’s been several hours since he last ate. I.E. him only eating 2oz, and then only 3.5 five hours later. BUT, even his dream feeds he turns away or doesn’t eat a lot. There were times I could dream feed him 5oz at 2am, and here I am awake, stressed, because 2hrs ago at 2am he barely, BARELY took 1 oz. Dream feeding. Honestly, for me, it’s so typical to have feed him like this: it’s been 3hrs, make him a 3.5oz bottle, sit him upright, he takes ½ an oz, won’t take more, we walk/play/tummy/etc, he falls asleep, I put a paci in, after about 10min I try the bottle, he takes 20 swallows or so, I paci him and wait another 5-10min, and repeat. And again, he may take 1oz, he may take the 3.5. Who knows.
I know, this is another long-winded post… As usual I’m just so stressed about him. The last pedi appt she said to keep on keeping on – no talks of tubing or hospitalization (he HAD moved from the 1% to the 5%, but who knows if that’s true now, 2 weeks later..). Same with the feed spec – no worries, just keep on trying to feed. But I just feel he’s either not gaining, or still gaining super slow. With him generally eating in the neighborhood of HALF what he should be, I just feel his stagnating, regressing, or just still making no progress. Might be mainly due to the rotavirus, but who knows. And that has to just “run its course” – that course has been a month or more now.. Every bottle is a point of stress for me. Every feed: on the outside I’m talking to him and smiling at him and encouraging him, but on the inside I’m hurting and stressing. Because, for example, I know 5 hours ago he only took 1.5 and now he’s asleep and seemingly won’t even dream feed. The days add up where I feel he’s only had 14, and 16, and 17, and 13, etc etc. Nowhere near 32, and not even the 21-24 he used to. For him, I’m happy and strong and loving and playful. Inside, my heart is still aching, and my mind is stressed out.

As our LO comes up on 20wks of age, and given his recent changes, I thought I’d post another update. A quick recap (for more details, see my other extensive posts): our LO was born 6weeks early back in mid Jan (so FRI he’ll be 20wks old, 14wks gest). His last weigh-in was on the 16th and his weight then was 12lb13.5oz – if my rudimentary weighing at home is anywhere near accurate (I hold him and weigh us on our scale, then weigh myself, and calculate the difference) then he MAY be 13lbs.. ish. He was diag’d w/reflux at about 3wks of age, and FTT about 2mo of age. He is still on 2 meds: Nexium and Famotidine. We are also fortifying his feeds. Due to wife’s medical issues he currently only fed formula (currently Up&Up Gentle or, as of now, Parent’s Choice Gentle (since the U&U is never in stock anymore, and these are both he same thing from the same company, it seems)). He is also still dealing with Rotavirus, which he was diag’d with back on May 4 – almost 4 weeks ago.. (BMs still show signs, sight and smell). For my own reassurance, let me lay some positives out. This sweet little boy is happy quite often. He makes eye contact with us, reacts to our voices/calling him. We tell him we love him and he smiles so big. We can tickle and play with him and get him to laugh and giggle. He grasps toys and holds them for several minutes (we have to place them in his grip or on his hands, but he will hold things and wave them around a bit). He’s very vocal, and at times we can almost do the talk-back-and-forth. We do tummy time often through the day – point of fact, yesterday he was up on his hands for about 7min (mind you I cheat just a tad – I put him in the bassinet with his knees bent, obviously, and his feet backed up against one of the bassi walls so his feet don’t come out from under him.. but he WILL hold himself up for awhile and he also holds his head up high). As far as baby stuff goes, he’s such an adorable, sweet, happy baby. However. Onto the big stressors. Folks… if any math is correct, he should be eating around 32oz every day. For the past… month or so, he has still not been anywhere near that. Whereas before the rotavirus he was averaging 21-24oz a day (which was already under his ideals), we have stopped logging again but rough math/memory says he’s been averaging 15-18oz a day, generous estimates. Please forgive the next large rambling, but I just want to vent and give as much detail as I can. We ae still far removed from feeding patters, feeding times, feeding schedules, feeding cues. If we had to guess, he sems to almost want to take longer gaps between feeds (like 4-5hrs) but he doesn’t eat enough to make those make sense – as in, even if he goes 4-5hrs he doesn’t eat a 5oz bottle. We tried every 2hrs for awhile, but it just wasn’t a sustainable thing for any of us involved. We try to feed him every 3hrs, but again there’s no consistency. He’s gone 5hrs before and only wanted an ounce, so there’s no telling. He will seemingly cue, but not eat. We kinda have to just wing it, make a bottle, and hope he even eats. Basically, no matter the time of the day, or which of us is feeding him, or which bottle we use, or which room we’re feeding him in, or which position he’s in, etc etc – not only is there no consistency/pattern/routine, he’s seemingly eating about half, or a little over half, of what he should be eating a day – yes, fortified, but still. And again, in the past 2 weeks he MAY have gained half a pound, or a little over. If that at all. For all I know, might be even less. All that was just about the amount he’s eating. There’s also HOW he’s eating. To start off, he just saw his feed spec for the third time. He did eat some during that appt and she studied him thoroughly. He has zero issues WHEN he feeds – good suction, pull, NO ties etc etc. However. Feeding him lately has been such a point of stress (I mean, it has been for months now, but still). -IF- we manage to feed him 8 times a day (usually 7), of those he MAY have fed sitting upright and awake once, MAYBE twice – and even of THOSE, he may have only taken an ounce or two while sitting up and awake. 80%-90% of what he intakes is when he is asleep (dream feeding), and 70%-80% of THAT is him laying down (which yes, we know the risks, but we know what to watch for, we monitor him, and the pedi and feed spec both say “if it works, get food in him” – we are careful when we dream feed on his back). He doesn’t scream/arch/stand/straighten much anymore, honestly if at all. He simply denies the bottle as if he’s not hungry/full (turns head away, pushes out w/tongue, leaves nipple in mouth but doesn’t latch/eat so it just drools out). Again – we only try a few times, and if he simply will not eat we call it quits and try later. We do not force the bottle, nor have we ever. So, so often he just will not eat, or eat very little, if he’s awake, even if it’s been several hours since he last ate. I.E. him only eating 2oz, and then only 3.5 five hours later. BUT, even his dream feeds he turns away or doesn’t eat a lot. There were times I could dream feed him 5oz at 2am, and here I am awake, stressed, because 2hrs ago at 2am he barely, BARELY took 1 oz. Dream feeding. Honestly, for me, it’s so typical to have feed him like this: it’s been 3hrs, make him a 3.5oz bottle, sit him upright, he takes ½ an oz, won’t take more, we walk/play/tummy/etc, he falls asleep, I put a paci in, after about 10min I try the bottle, he takes 20 swallows or so, I paci him and wait another 5-10min, and repeat. And again, he may take 1oz, he may take the 3.5. Who knows. I know, this is another long-winded post… As usual I’m just so stressed about him. The last pedi appt she said to keep on keeping on – no talks of tubing or hospitalization (he HAD moved from the 1% to the 5%, but who knows if that’s true now, 2 weeks later..). Same with the feed spec – no worries, just keep on trying to feed. But I just feel he’s either not gaining, or still gaining super slow. With him generally eating in the neighborhood of HALF what he should be, I just feel his stagnating, regressing, or just still making no progress. Might be mainly due to the rotavirus, but who knows. And that has to just “run its course” – that course has been a month or more now.. Every bottle is a point of stress for me. Every feed: on the outside I’m talking to him and smiling at him and encouraging him, but on the inside I’m hurting and stressing. Because, for example, I know 5 hours ago he only took 1.5 and now he’s asleep and seemingly won’t even dream feed. The days add up where I feel he’s only had 14, and 16, and 17, and 13, etc etc. Nowhere near 32, and not even the 21-24 he used to. For him, I’m happy and strong and loving and playful. Inside, my heart is still aching, and my mind is stressed out.