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My mother threatened to give her two houses away for the second time yesterday.
2023.05.31 10:24 shaggadally My mother threatened to give her two houses away for the second time yesterday.
I would like to preface that I'm new to this subreddit. I had checked it out before, but it was too hard for me to read the posts and comments, either because it hit too close to home or because it felt too heavy. And sorry for the wall of text, I would like to thank everyone who reads this in advance.
First, I need to introduce my mom and her situation a bit: She is 68 years old and has had renal cell cancer (kidney cancer) for 4 years. They had cut part of her kidney out four years ago, but didn't get everything, and now it's spreading around her back and essentially attacking her spine. The situation has gotten a lot worse in the past 5 months and she is talking about leaving earlier through Exit (Swiss organisation that helps you and accompanies you with dying, basically a controlled medical suicide). She's in a lot of pain and she has a lot of side effects from pain killers and cancer medication.
Now, of course, her declining health is very hard for me to deal with, I'm very sad and angry. It's so depressing to see her having so little energy, she was always such an active person, teaching, creating art, travelling, going to the opera or museums, and now she says she only has energy for one hour of the day. I feel sorry for her and I'm scared of her situation worsening. I'm barely keeping my shit together and I think I wouldn't be able to if I didn't have boxing (I train and coach several times a week).
But the way she talks to me is just as unbearable as her condition. To give some context: she lives close to the lake and is part of a rowing club (basically a small clubhouse with direct lake-access) and she wants me to become a member as well. Last week she wrote me "you have to apply now", since they are going to have their general meeting soon and after that, I'd have to wait a year.
I am very overwhelmed with her situation and work has been tough as well the past few weeks, so I had just sent her a draft of my application and told her, she'd have to apply for me if she really wants it. Before that, I thought I would let her have the mental picture of me being there, thinking of her. But I just felt too stressed when she basically wrote "do this now!!". Then she called me, asking if I didn't care about this rowing club, and I told her I just don't have the mental capacity right now, after which she almost started crying, saying she has no energy as well, etc. But she kind of got it that I didn't really care about becoming a member.
This was last Thursday. I've been thinking I need like some sort of a vacation from her and from her situation for some time now. She calls me several times a week and it always feels like I'm getting dumped on (she also speaks really loudly as well and almost never let's me talk or asks how I am); it's always about how she has no energy and no appetite and she talks real negatively about everyone including my gf. And it was mostly like that before she was sick, now it's just gotten a little worse and it's a lot harder to interrupt her or end a call, because I would feel bad and/or she would start to cry!
So I thought I would just kind of take the weekend off mentally, which I did. Saturday 10 pm (I was very drunk) she texted me, and on Sunday she tried to call. I didn't react, because I just had very little energy myself and thought I would call her back on Monday and offer to come by and buy groceries and cook for her. (I've been visiting her and taking care of her once or mostly twice a week the past few months.) She already had someone over, and told me I wouldn't need to come by so I thought we are good.
Yesterday she calls me and basically let's me know how offended she is that I didn't care about this rowing club and that she feels like I wouldn't care about anything she cares about. And she also let me know that she finds it unacceptable that I didn't answer her text and call. And then she told me she's thinking about giving the two houses she owns away, because she felt I wouldn't care. I'm just so angry, I had a really violent and negative dream last night as well. I feel like absolute shit. I don't want to be treated this way, but it would be stupid to lash out and really be disinherited. I feel more powerless than I would feel anyway.:(
She had already told my dad (they are separated) once that she would give the houses away, after my gf and I uninvited her for Christmas. That's a different story (and her condition was not nearly as severe as now), but to summarize, she was really unkind and uncooperative about Christmas dinner and said I was lazy because I wanted to make Raclette (my gf is vegetarian; my mom wanted us to take care of cooking). And she was totally fine with Raclette at first!! She just put it in her head that it had to be something more fancy! And she didn't have stomach pain or issues eating back then either (even though she says so now)! I am still happy with the decision of uninviting her, it felt like a real moment of emancipation.
For some background: I've only had a decent relationship with her after I had moved out at 23 (I'm 31 now). My teenage years were very difficult. I was very difficult, I smoked a lot of weed, almost dropped out of school, and I was unemployed for like half a year after finishing school. But she was always very controlling and we had so many fights. She didn't give me the space I needed and I know she wanted me to go in a creative direction as well (she was an art teacher before she retired) and while I do feel like I was gifted, I stopped drawing at around 12 because I couldn't do my own expectations justice. So after some rough early twenties, I ended up in IT, where I'm happy enough. I think she would still feel I'm a disappointment if I didn't work at a nice firm and if I didn't earn as much as I do.
It felt good to write all of this down. I hope I wasn't too incoherent and I would again like to thank everyone who took the time to read this. Much strength to all of you!
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2023.05.31 09:34 Precious-Toe How to deal with partners inappropriate friend?
Hey everyone I’m kind of in a weird situation with my partners friend that I’m not quite sure how to deal with.
For starters I met this friend through my partner he’s also married with a kid and through the years we’ve ended up becoming pretty close ourselves through like being in similar occupations and such so it’s built up over the years the comfortability, now I’d as of like the last Year almost I’ve noticed a weird change with him where he’s been like very touchy or flirtatious in general always complimenting me and like innuendos and like sometimes showing up when my partner isn’t there.
We had an incident back during Christmas where me and him were playing board games and in jest he tried using the mistletoe thing as an excuse to kiss and it was all fun and games I thought till he kind of like wrestled on top of me in a non violent playful way but then actually kissed me and that like took me aback but I didn’t fully process it in the moment.
More recently we all went on holiday/vacation together abroad and we all went to the club and pretty much while dancing he grinded on me and tried to make a move on me back at the hotel and then apologised the following morning and blamed it on being drunk.
I’m just really unsure what to do or how to handle this we’ve all been friends for years so do I give him the benefit of the doubt? He also has a child with his wife so there’s that to think about too I’m just pretty confused.
Any help or advice or input would be appreciated : )
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2023.05.31 08:29 One_Two_9497 Experience Luxury Like Never Before at the Best Hotels in Kasauli:
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2023.05.31 06:49 caloyenq Indulge in the Rustic Charm of El Puerto Marina Beach Resort & Vacation Club
2023.05.31 06:25 NervousWreck85 I thought I finally found a guy... of course it was all in my head
Apologies in advance - this is going to be long but I need to get this out in the open after over a year of this stuff. For context, I have a guy friend who I've gotten pretty close to and developed a little bit of a crush on him. We met in college but became good friends while studying abroad together and we've been buddies ever since.
First thing's first - he is the typical frat boy cool guy and I am the typical edgy artsy girl. We both assumed that we wouldn't get along but after a mutual friend started being shitty to both of us we realized we have more in common than we thought and became good friends. I developed a little crush on him pretty early on but tried to write it off due to the fact that he is very conventionally attractive while I am heavy and, based on his prior hookups, not his type. When we started going out to bars together I noticed he would get kind of touchy (lots of hugging) and as we hung out more he started greeting me by doing things like hugging me from behind. Because of all of this and how often he wanted to hang out I thought he might have started to like me a little. Then he started hooking up with a local girl (who was gorgeous and thin) so I wrote it off and was just happy to have a buddy. We came home from studying abroad and this behavior continued although we didn't hang out as much since we weren't living as close to each other anymore. My crush on him stuck around and has to this day and I feel like I've spent the last year and a half trying to determine if he does actually like me or if this is just him being friendly.
A few weeks ago he called me around 12:00 AM. I thought it was kind of strange that he was calling me out of the blue so as soon as we greeted each other I flat out asked him if he was drunk and he said he wasn't, he had only had one beer (I brew beer and he has been trying to learn more about it and likes discussing it with me so it wasn't weird that he had brought it up). We ended up talking on the phone for TWO HOURS (I hate phone calls and he has no attention span so this was impressive for both of us) and he brought up the fact that he was going back to the country we studied in together in October for vacation. He started off by light heartedly suggesting I should go but by the end of the conversation was insisting that I had to come with him, even making me promise that I would go out to a bunch of bars and clubs with him (he knows that's not really my scene). I told him that I absolutely wanted to, I just had to see what I was doing job-wise and I'd have a more definitive answer. I made it very clear to him that if I am able to get the time off at my next job I would absolutely go with him.
I was so excited - the guy I liked and trusted wanted to travel with me?! Surely this would be a chance for us to get even closer and maybe this was his way of trying to move towards a romantic relationship. I knew the romance part was me being an idealist but I just felt so happy that he wanted to spend time with me and do this big thing together. All of my girlfriends thought the same thing too! It seemed so cliché, two friends traveling abroad together only to find out they were secretly in love this whole time, but it seemed like that was exactly what was happening. Surely this would finally be my chance to start a relationship, or at the very least have a fling after not having a single guy interested in me since middle school!
Well, last night I sent him a meme about the country he's going to and he tells me "oh btw I think I'm going back in October." I immediately knew that he had forgotten out entire conversation and the fact that he was strongly suggesting that I go with him. I said a few things letting him know that he's told me this before and it became very clear very quickly that he had no expectation of me going with him. I was torn over whether or not I should remind him of his offer but got too afraid of seeming clingy that I just wrote it off.
I am heart broken. Here I thought a guy finally wanted to spend time with me and share something together but he didn't even remember telling me about it. As much as I liked the idea of this trip being a chance to maybe reveal our true feelings to each other even if it was just platonic it was proof that at the very least our friendship meant as much to him as it did to me. When I was feeling really optimistic it even felt like for once a guy felt the same way about me as I felt about him.
To avoid making myself miserable I've been telling myself that it truly just slipped his mind (he has awful ADHD and has made a point before to tell me "I really don't want to forget about (friendship commitment), can you please remind me?" I know that his medication also fucks with him when it comes to things like this so I'm trying to tell myself it's that and not just him being careless.
Right now, all I know is I thought after years of just hoping and praying for love I though I might have seen the light at the end of the tunnel but any type of hope was just ripped away. He is the only guy my age that I know and have felt this way about in a long time so I am back to feeling like all hope is lost and I will forever be the girl whose friends say "you're so great, you'll find someone" despite no one ever being interested in my very existence.
If you read this far, thank you so much. This is now just weighing on me and I feel like the other women who have never had love in their lives are the only ones that would understand why I feel as sad as I do.
TLDR: Friend I have a crush on invited me on a trip, then totally forgot about inviting me and I am so hurt after believing he may have cared as much about me as I did him.
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2023.05.31 05:43 AcanthisittaLegal969 What to do if my bf (24M) referred to me (23F) as a square?
Square slang definition-
1) “Unexciting, unadventurous, mainstream or dull. Generally used in describing a person with such attributes or who plays it safe. Historically, derived from a person whose goal in life is to have three "squares" a day, a roof over his head, a respectable job, a house, 2.5 kids, etc. Became a hip/popular expression of derision of the mainstream in the beat generation.”
2) “if someone calls you a square, they mean you're boring, rule-abiding, and lame/old fashioned.”
I don’t drink much or at all really. It’s never been my thing, I’ll take a shot or have a drink socially but usually would prefer a refreshing mock-tail or a soda when I’m at a restaurant. I don’t smoke weed or cigarettes. My bf doesn’t like to drink that much either and gets wasted after two drinks, my tolerance is much higher than him when it comes to drinking. He’s smoked weed before and recently picked up the habit of cigarettes. I’ve never even tried to smoke a blunt before, I do hookah occasionally if I go out with friends to a lounge or bar. I’m scared of needles and don’t have any tattoos or piercings beside from my ears pierced when I was little. I would like a tattoo/piercing but I’m very indecisive and would probably hate it the next day.
I don’t see what’s wrong or lame about wanting normal stable things out of life or not wanting to participate in doing things other people our age are doing. I don’t think I’m unadventurous, I like going on vacations and finding new activities and experiences to try out and have fun doing. Half of the time my bf isn’t interested or doesn’t have the time to partake or plan any spontaneous trips or activities. I would ask him to go out and get drunk together or go to a hookah lounge or a club together and have fun and he’d just say no, so I typically would just go with one of my girlfriends.
I feel kinda sad and bummed out that he thinks I’m lame, especially since we’ve been dating for 8.5 years now. I feel like I’ve always been the one in the relationship that comes up with all the fun and exciting things to do and he just goes along with it. Had no idea he felt that way.
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2023.05.31 05:41 AcanthisittaLegal969 What to do if my bf (24M) referred to me (23F) as a square?
Square slang definition-
1) “Unexciting, unadventurous, mainstream or dull. Generally used in describing a person with such attributes or who plays it safe. Historically, derived from a person whose goal in life is to have three "squares" a day, a roof over his head, a respectable job, a house, 2.5 kids, etc. Became a hip/popular expression of derision of the mainstream in the beat generation.”
2) “if someone calls you a square, they mean you're boring, rule-abiding, and lame/old fashioned.”
I don’t drink much or at all really. It’s never been my thing, I’ll take a shot or have a drink socially but usually would prefer a refreshing mock-tail or a soda when I’m at a restaurant. I don’t smoke weed or cigarettes. I do hookah occasionally if I go out with friends to a lounge or bar. I’m scared of needles and don’t have any tattoos or piercings beside from my ears pierced when I was little. I would like a tattoo/piercing but I’m very indecisive and would probably hate it the next day.
I don’t see what’s wrong or lame about wanting normal stable things out of life or not wanting to participate in doing things other people our age are doing. I don’t think I’m unadventurous, I like going on vacations and finding new activities and experiences to try out and have fun doing. Half of the time my bf isn’t interested or doesn’t have the time to partake or plan any spontaneous trips or activities. I would ask him to go out and get drunk together or go to a hookah lounge or a club together and have fun and he’d just say no, so I typically would just go with one of my girlfriends.
I feel kinda sad and bummed out that he thinks I’m lame, especially since we’ve been dating for 8.5 years now. I feel like I’ve always been the one in the relationship that comes up with all the fun and exciting things to do and he just goes along with it. Had no idea he felt that way.
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2023.05.31 05:06 Puggleperson760 What’s going on with the daily treat machine?
This game is getting on my nerves… I went on vacation months ago and didn’t sign in every day… when i finally signed in after two days my daily treat machine was at the very bottom. It took two days to go to the bottom but WEEKS to fill back up…. Now it seems to be glitching out because even when I sign in every day to get my boosters it has been falling to the bottom..or did something change and I didnt get the memo? Not that it matters much anyway because I only get those little round thingy majigs that I am never able to use. Just curious. It’s BS that it takes one missed login to lose so much and weeks of regular log in to get it back up. I havent been able to get it back up.
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2023.05.31 04:54 Throwawaynewbieee Employer expects me to bring my laptop while out of town on weekends
Short backstory: I am a customer service manager at a very small company in which the owner does not have any hand in the day to day operations.
My birthday was this past Sunday, and while I was out to dinner with friends and family I got a very unexpected call from the owner of the business, I ignored the call. He texted me asking me to help him with a system password reset, to which I answered I was out of town and at my birthday dinner and didn’t have access to that system and referred the owner to the general manager. (Note that the system in question also blacklists any unauthorized IP so I wouldn’t have been able to just login on my smartphone to help him). His next text was that I was a manager and that I should always bring my laptop when going out of town with the angel emoji. Knowing the owner, I figured he was serious but my friends and family convinced me he was joking because he of the emoji he used in his text.
Upon arrival to the office this morning after a holiday weekend I had received an email to my general manager with me CC’d saying I need to carry my laptop with me to assist in urgent customer help requests over the weekend because I am a manager. Because of the type of business that I am in, the owner was essentially a customer in this instance. I accepted the position almost a year ago and was never given a formal written job description it was only relayed verbally me. Bringing my laptop with me if I’m going out of town over the weekend or on vacation was never discussed.
I go out of town most weekends and am rarely home on weekends. I also only received a company issued laptop a few months ago when extremely ill, I was not given the laptop upon my acceptance of the management position. I will be paid for any time that I need to assist, but my concern is that I won’t ever truly be able to (literally and figuratively) unplug. Any advice or thoughts are appreciated
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2023.05.31 04:29 cambria123456 Failing to see the point right now
This is v lengthy, but I feel like I need to vent and see if anyone has a similar perspective/advice.
I was alcohol-free for nearly three months. I enjoyed the benefits, which included better sleep, reduced anxiety and panic attacks, and an improved complexion. I ate healthier and was generally devoid of the constant guilt and panic that comes with inundating your system with poison every day.
However, when I'm not drinking, I'm basically a hermit. I don't look forward to anything, don't want to go anywhere. Everything and everyone sucks. It's been like this since before I started drinking. I have social anxiety and find leaving the house and allowing myself to be perceived by the world to be incredibly draining. I hate having conversations with anyone. All I do is count down the minutes until I'm allowed to escape the situation. I remember being 12 or 13 and fantasizing about being able to drink one day, because I knew it would enable me to not feel like that anymore. I'd finally feel like a normal person who could engage with the world. I was right.
Alcohol enabled me to enjoy situations that normal humans enjoy. Holidays, vacations, concerts, mixers, going out to eat, going swimming, family reunions, etc. All the things that make living worthwhile. And so, when I'm not drinking, I isolate myself because that's the only thing that seems to work, but slowly, I start to crave connection with others. I start to miss getting dolled up with a drink in hand, or being able to relax in any situation in public. I miss seeing my true self come out. The one that is witty, an amazing dancer, energetic and up for anything. Sure, alcohol brought some bad times, but it brought some great times too. When I'm sober, I have neither good times or bad times. I have nothing other than feeling somewhat okay because "At least I'm not hungover, right?". It feels like an endless procession of nothingness. I feel like I'm unhappy when I'm drinking or sober, but at least when I drink, my life is much more full and there are actual things I look foward to.
I relapsed on a cruise I took recently with my family and partner, and I had a lot of fun. I danced the night away in the club and played foosball with my family and some hilarious strangers I met. I came home, and drank at a company happy hour and a baseball game (both of which I would have skipped if I was sober). I drank at the pool on Memorial Day and had a blast. I had more memorable experiences in the past two weeks than I had in the past three months.
I guess my question is, what is the point? How do you guys make it feel worthwhile and stick with it? I'm not ready to completely give up my desire to stop drinking, but it's incredibly hard to right now. Not drinking makes me feel like someone with a chronic illness that renders me incapable of truly joining the outside world, and requires that I go to bed at 9PM every night while everyone else stays up and has fun. I've tried to quit at least seven times, but come to the same conclusion every time. I've read a lot of sober literature, tried several therapists, but nothing can really compare to the comfort and excitement I feel when alcohol is in the picture.
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2023.05.31 04:04 WWWWWWRRRRRYYYYY Maintenance 6/2
2023.05.31 03:27 harry-jg Best VPN for Sky Sports
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The Gentle Art of Digital Disguise: VPNs and the Quest for Sky Sports
Here's a bitter pill: grand streaming powerhouses like Sky Sports in the UK and Ireland have decided to become the exclusive clubs of their territories, turning a blind eye to the legion of sports enthusiasts beyond their borders. Imagine that – something as universal as sport being held hostage by geographical boundaries. This is where our dear friend the VPN, or the Virtual Private Network, steps in, like a dashing secret agent from a spy novel, ready to help you leap over these digital hurdles.
Now, you may ask, what's the magic trick? Well, when you summon a VPN, it graciously enables you to connect to a server in the UK or Ireland, effectively morphing your IP address into one that's born and bred in the UK or Ireland. Picture yourself donning an impeccable disguise, becoming practically indistinguishable from the local digital crowd. The geoblocks, in their oblivious state, will not detect your international origins and let you walk right through the front door.
So, what happens next? Then, my friend, you are free to bask in the glory of Sky Sports to your heart's content. And all this, thanks to the unsung hero of the internet - the VPN.
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2023.05.31 02:20 ratzy88 vacation in Portugal New Years Even till jan 12th, any recommendations on what i should do
Debating between Poland (i love WWII history), Spain and Portugal for my vacation. (but most likely Spain or Portugal since its warmer)
From what i have gathered from friends who've gone to Portugal and from google. I could be in for lots of rain or some nice (like 10 degrees to maybe 20 degree) weather. Basically the only thing I know I would be doing in Portugal is going to see a football match, i dont care for who i see (im impartial) so that decision would be based on what club has good fan experience and also who you guys recommend. Aside from that I am open to all suggestions for what to do.
Portugal is on my list of where i could like to live if i ever get to move to Europe so aside from all the main touristy attractions some nice non touristy suggestions would be much appreciated (like restaurants, etc). When i travel i like to see what it would be like to live in where i am
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2023.05.30 20:53 Sea-Sympathy5350 I Got My Dad Arrested
My name is Alice, and my best friend for the past 9 years is Carol, we’ve have been friends since middle school when we were both 10, she was by all rites my sister, I was an only child, and she filled the void of not having any brothers or sisters of my own. We would spend most days together at my house, she was one of five siblings, her parents managed, but struggled to keep up with all the bills, so her spending nights at my house were frequent, I’m talking about 20 to 30 times a year. My parents treated her like a daughter, my mom would even spend time in private talks with her and without me, like mother, daughter talks. Of course, me and my mom had the same type of relationship, but Carol’s mom was too busy to have these kinds of talks with her, so my mom was the mother figure to her. Carol was part of our family, and we all respected each other. When she would spend those nights with me, my dad would always drive her home the next day. When my dad would take her home, he always returned 30 minutes later, but she only lived 5 minutes away, He would always walk in with a half-drunk Slurpee when he returned. I never really thought much about it then, life went on as normal. When she would spend those nights at my house for sleepovers, my mom would look in on us maybe once a night if at all, but my dad would check in 3 to 4 times and always say something or try to join in our conversations.
Fast forward 8 years, we just graduated high school, at the end of summer I was heading off to college in another state, she was going to remain in our little town and go to the state university about 20 miles away. We live in a small town 10 miles from a large city, but our town has only about 10,000 people, just enough for 2 elementaries and 1 high school so everyone knows everyone. Carol some how always had money, but she didn’t have a job, I had money from a part-time job and my parents both had great jobs, my mom was a RN for a large hospital in the city and my dad was a partner of a law firm he started right out of college and had build himself up as the top law firm in the city. He did a lot of charitable work and was on several committees helping small businesses. I could ask for anything, but they gave me just what I needed, like a car and paying for my college, the rest I tried to earn for myself. One day Carol drives up in a used car and I asked where it came from, she replied that her uncle gave it to her as a gift for her graduation. I had never heard about this uncle, she said that he was around, but didn’t get along with the rest of her family so she never spoke of him. Carol was a beautiful girl with long black hair, she hadn’t cut it since before we met, it hung down her back all the way to her butt, she always kept it in a ponytail, you could always tell it was her even from the back because it was unique. I am a pretty good-looking girl, I have no problem finding dates or boyfriends, Carol on the other hand, never once had a boyfriend, not because they didn’t ask, she would always turn them down, saying she wasn’t ready to get tied down to any guy.
One day my mother took me out to lunch and told me that she suspected my dad is having an affair, she said she looked over the bank statements, he was taking money from their accounts weekly, between 500 to 800 dollars each Friday and never had anything to show from it. She said that she may hire a PI to help her get to the bottom of it. I said let me investigate it first, I was going to college for journalism, this would be great practice for me, my dream job was to become an investigative reporter. She said okay, I have the summer, then when I left for college, if I hadn’t found anything she would hire a PI and I agreed. We finished our lunch and told her not to say anything to dad, because it would be harder to catch him if he thought she may know anything, she agreed, this would be our secret.
I told Carol about the situation, she said that she couldn’t believe my dad would ever cheat on his family, she said that both my mom and I were crazy. But said she would help me, she said that she wanted to prove he was doing nothing wrong, but she would keep an open mind. That Saturday I followed my dad as he left the house and he ended up at the library, I walked in and I saw him in the law section reading and he was alone, I walked out and sat in my car for 4 and a half hours. He drove to a restaurant, I could see him from the parking lot as he sat alone, he had a slice of pie and a soda. He left there and just took a walk to the local park, I stayed out of sight, he just sat on a park bench and pulled his phone out, texting someone for the next 30 minutes. He got up and walked back to his car and drove home. I kept driving to kill 30 minutes before returning home, I had found nothing and was disappointed with myself, but happy for my mom. I told Carol what I seen but all she said was I told you your dad’s not a cheater. I looked at her and said this was only day one and who was he texting for 30 minutes. She said maybe another lawyer. I knew she was right, I was grasping at straws, but something didn’t feel right, I was going to continue the investigation.
The following Saturday I had to work, Carol said she would follow him and take notes as to what he was doing and report back to me later that night. I thanked her, I told her she didn’t need to get involved, but she said she felt like she owed it to our family, because of all the years being treated like a daughter. That night Carol and I met up at a coffee shop and she said she followed him to a mall and he went into a bunch of stores but never bought anything, she said he was alone the entire trip other than when he went to the food court and sat with another couple, but it appeared he sat there because no other tables were open, he just sat and ate without saying anything to the couple. I thanked her and we just had a normal evening and went to see a movie. The next Saturday came up and I followed him again and he did exactly the same as I watched him two weeks ago right down to the pie and texting in the park. Carol was just too easily willing to give up, but I wasn’t done yet. She said I was wasting my time that could be better spent studying for college to get a head start. I found this very strange, she never cared about my studies while we were in school why now.
I told her I had to work on the following Saturday, she said she would watch him again. I started to get a gut feeling something was off. I took that day off and I followed them both to the mall. I put on a hoodie that I borrowed by a guy friend, I kept the hood on as I watch and videoed them from my phone as my dad and Carol walked the mall hand in hand, stopping at stores as he bought her clothes, shoes, and they even stopped into a jewelry store and looked at rings together, I had it all on tape. When they left, I continued to follow as they took my dad’s car to a motel, and I saw him get the key from the office and signal her to join him. They both walked into the room. As I was waiting, I was livid, how could my best friend do this to our family. 3 hours later they emerge from the room, he returns the key, then they drive back to the mall, and they say their goodbyes with a long kiss. He drove home and Carol called me as she was still sitting in the mall parking lot to tell me, she watched him all day, but he just walked the mall like her previous investigation, but I knew the truth. I didn’t say anything and thanked her for all her time.
I needed to find out when it started and I just knew it was on her phone, so I went to her house and was immediately told she was in her room. I walked in to see her reading a book, I said I just met these two amazing guys, they wanted to meet up at a new under 21 dance club. She was reluctant to go, but I pleaded with her, she said she had to wash her hair and get ready. This is what I was hoping for, as soon as I heard the shower, I opened her phone messenger and started typing in my dad’s phone number, the name Michael showed up, my dad’s name is Tony. I open the texts and there are thousands of them going back to when she was just 15 years old, the first text was her thanking him for her new phone. I forwarded the entire chat to my home PC and it took 20 minutes. There were so many, I closed her phone just in time for her to re-enter the room. We went to the dance club, I said I didn’t see them, they never existed so of course I didn’t see them, so we left after about an hour. Went to get a bite to eat and drove her home.
That night I spent it going through all of the text starting from the first one and documenting them all. There were talks about how much she enjoyed sharing a Slurpee with him before he dropped her off from our sleepovers. And the car that he bought her, not the uncle as she told me, my freaking dad bought her a car. I even had proof when they had sex for the first time, when she was 16. It also was a bunch of thank yous, for paying for her car insurance and the money my dad had given her weekly, that’s why she always had money. I put this on a thumb drive along with the edited video I had taken during the day. I made 6 copies of the thumb drives, I placed them into envelopes and on the outside it was typed LAWYER IS A CHILD MOLESTER. Inside I had typed a cover sheet stating that a prominent lawyer in the city, was a child molester and the proof was in the thumb drive included.
I had one bit of revenge for my best friend, I asked her out for dinner at the restaurant I worked at, she agreed, I set the table up where her back was facing the kitchen, I went to get our dinner or she thought, when I returned I was so quiet, I walked up as she was writing a text to my dad. I took her hair as I had done many times before, she slammed her phone down on the table face down. And I said how nice it looked today, pulled out the freshly sharpened knife and a final how nice it looked, I lopped it off as she sat there, I walked next to our table as she was grabbing the back of her head, I dropped the ponytail on the ground as I stared into her eyes. She immediately tried to pick up her hair as if she could glue it back on or something, I said this is what you get for having an affair with my dad.
I had sent the thumb drives to the city mayor, the DA’s office, The police department, The local news station one to her parents and one I gave to my mother. When Carol got home the reporters were already camped out on her front lawn. When I returned home, we had news crews and cameras staking out our house also, along with 3 police cars, I watched my dad being taken out of the house wearing handcuffs. He was arrested and will lose everything. I was consoling my mom, when we got a call from CNN looking for a statement, I declined, but was told this was going to get aired tonight, so this was our chance to make a statement, but we still declined. I turned on the TV and my dad was everywhere, every station local news and network news stations. He was on the front page of our local newspaper and the city newspaper. His story was even in the New York post.
Mom and I took a long vacation and disappeared for the next month and let things calm down. When we returned my dad had moved all his clothes out of the house, now he lives in a rundown apartment trying to find a lawyer that will work for him. Carol was kicked out of her family’s home due to the disgrace she brought onto her family, Carol left our town due to shame. Nobody that I know knows where she went or what happened to her, I guess the police must know because she will have to testify against my father at some point. We are still in the thick of things, but I have put college off for the near future to help my mom as this works through the courts and as she files for divorce. We are going to family counseling and trying to piece our lives back together. My dad faces so many charges starting with child molestation because of the text when the first sexual encounter was, he is also facing charges for manipulation of a minor for sexual purposes, and other charges stemming from his affair. He is looking at a possible 10 years of incarceration. I have no feeling for either of them, they manipulated me and my mom for years, they can both rot in hell for all they did to us.
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2023.05.30 17:52 kevmaster5 Using my Platinum for get someone in Delta Sky
My mom and I just got done with our vacation and we both plan to travel to our seperate homes. She has a ticket with Delta and I have a ticket with Southwest. I would pay for her to to get into the Centurion Lounge but I was wondering if it were possible to use my Platinum card to get my mom into the Delta Sky Club for free?
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2023.05.30 17:34 bunnybadger21 Where does the escape plan come into the story though?
2023.05.30 16:49 paulrudder I'm having a significant amount of commission (~$30-40k) taken from me in a sales job, and given to a new team who did none of the work for it. Is there anything I can or should do in this situation?
I work for a national advertising company, and I'm essentially an account manager and sales rep hybrid, but for a local market. I work with both direct clients and advertising agencies who represent clients and place buys through me.
Last week they announced organizational changes. One of the key changes is that they will be taking agency accounts from local sales reps and forming a new account management team dedicated entirely to handling agencies, and their reasoning for this was to provide a more unified customer service experience for the agencies and to provide more consistency.
When I look at the commission and bonuses I'm set to receive from my agencies this year, it amounts to somewhere in the ballpark of $40,000, and the majority of it kicks in starting next month as that's when I have numerous buys starting. Plus, I'm over 100% of my budget for the year right now, so I qualify for quarterly bonuses as well as President's Club (an award given to top sales reps each year, usually involving a free vacation overseas). This will all be lost if they take the agency accounts from me and give them to this new team.
To add insult to injury, last year the inverse happened and I was saddled with a $400k agency account that didn't run, but I was up against the numbers all year for my quota, which made it impossible for me to qualify for quarterly bonuses etc. All along, I was told "next year will be better because your budget will reset," and now that I'm actually doing well and blowing away my quotas, they are taking it all from me. :/
I spoke to my boss today and they supported me if I wanted to apply for one of the new account management positions, but frankly the principle of it really bothers me and I feel like I want to push back, but since it's a mandate across the entire company I feel like my concerns will go nowhere. There are so many layers of management that I doubt anything I say will even reach very far.But it's a LOT of money to lose through no fault of my own, when I've been busting my butt to provide great customer service and lock all the revenue in. I basically did all the hard work and now the fruits of my labors so to speak are being passed off to a new team that did nothing to deserve the commission. it just isn't right.What would you guys do in my shoes? Should I fight back against it? Is there any sort of leverage I would have in a situation like this?
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2023.05.30 16:47 Imnotfromherepart2 Hotels/places to stay for a boys trip
Me and the boys are going on vacation to Ayia Napa and been looking around hotels to book, we’ve seen a lot of hotels that have pool parties and inside events for it’s residents. We are ages between 21-23 so you got any recommendations? The cheaper the better and closer to the clubs rather than the beach.
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2023.05.30 16:09 EMSGInc Free Points Offer Returns in Summer 2023 Disney Vacation Club Promotion
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2023.05.30 14:10 Cascouverite On a more positive note: why I moved to Germany, and like it here
I've been in Germany nearly 10 years now. I moved here from Canada. This sub and a lot of ex-pat groups can be quite negative so I thought I'd post why I actually like it here.
Germany can be obtuse and stubborn and ugly, but the city I'm from (Vancouver) has it's own long long list of problems that make it just as unattractive at times. Not just Vancouver, most Canadian cities TBH. I've seen things that would be unthinkable here, but are everyday life in Canada. I've seen corpses sit for days on the streets from ODs before someone noticed they weren't just a zombie they were dead and called the cops. Multiple friends and neighbours of mine have died because of fentanyl. I have a bunch of friends whose moms would sell party-drugs and do sex-work cause there was no other way to afford a place to live. All the drugs I did as a teen were sold to me by my friends moms. Vancouver is also completely infested with white-collar crime. Triads, Yakuza, Angels, Italian Mafia, Polish mafia, Indian gangs etc. and the police are completely powerless to do anything about it (and often in bed with them). Absolutely everything is a money-laundering scheme. It's not all as depressing and negative as it sounds, but when you grow up around it and you're working class you wind up working for them even if your work is 100% legit it's just completely inescapable. They're in bed with real-estate developers, they own all the clubs and casinos and dozens of restaurants... A friend of mine is a Japanese cook, there's a whole street full of restaurants that are just Yakuza money-laundering fronts where you can eat pufferfish and drink turtle's blood if you know how to ask. There's no real pharma-care, only like 10 days vacation a year, no paid sick-leave. The food is miles better and there's endless nature to enjoy but Canada is heavily romanticised.
Looking at my home country, a dream place to emigrate for many, I don't see a future for myself, or most of my friends who still live there. The rents are just as bad, education is too expensive for most of them to do full-time, death and addiction plague most cities and social services are just as fucked there as they are here.
That said, I've been incredibly lucky here. Turns out I'm good with languages, I speak C1 German with virtually no accent and have been able to pretty much since year 2 of being here. I met a German woman and we're getting married. The Ausländerbehörde are still assholes but they respect me for what I've achieved and if they ever give me lip I have a German with me which has gotten me places I wouldn't have otherwise. Her family wound up sponsoring me, so I've never had to deal with virtually any financial beaurocracy cause they said they'd cover me if things go south. We're inheriting a house in a very nice part of the country. I've met friends through my fiance and managed to make a few of my own, I even got invited to join one of those impossible-to-crack childhood friend groups. My experience in many ways has not been average. I was given a golden ticket and I know and appreciate that.
Even so, the lives of average people here are better than the lives of average people in Canada. Even if I hadn't gotten so much help I would have been able to learn a trade or study. I have 30 days of paid vacation every year and have the proximity to other countries so I can actually use them to travel. You can do even a week in Italy, or Ireland, the Netherlands etc. for the price of a weekend in a neighbouring town in Canada. I did a week in Tuscany for the price of a ski-trip on Whistler or Seymour, which I could see from my apartment. I know other immigrants to Germany who've been able to buy an apartment in smaller towns and go on vacation a couple times a year having started with nothing and done a normal Ausbildung.
I miss Canada sometimes for sure. The nature, my friends, the accessible and open, social culture even in a city like Vancouver which is famously anti-social and inaccessible. And I miss good international food. I hate some aspects of German culture, but lots of them are common throughout the western world. I dunno, I kind of like it here
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2023.05.30 12:03 Blackgemcp2 Rockstar Social Club or any game lauchers does not thing, except interupting my entertainment time (which is already very limited)
Here my story. I bought GTA V on Steam. I open it and it demands me login Rockstar Social Club account. But the problem is that my Rockstar Social Club (RSC) account linked to my old Steam account, and I'm no longer have access to it (I played GTA IV on that account). So I can't login with the new Steam account I'm using. I sign in to my RSC account on their website, just to found out that I can't unlink my old Steam account, and the only way to unlink it is to send to rockstar support my steam profile URL and a picture show that I logged in to my old Steam account which I no longer have access to. So basically, my RSC forever stucked with the old account, and I can't play any Rockstar game on my current Steam account.
I just don't understand why they design the system like this in the beginning? I mean it's so obvious we customer won't get any benefit from the game laucher at all, and those company still decide to waste money into those thing. Why is it so important that RSC want to prove I own that certain Steam account when RSC library and Steam library doesn't have any connection at all?
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2023.05.30 10:08 Repulsive_Joke2299 I’ve gaslit myself into thinking my bf is a cheater.
My boyfriend of 3 months is away for a week. Half of the week he was on a family vacation and the other half on a work retreat.
The family vacation seemed like a lot of fun, he called me once a day for a few minutes just to see what was up and check in. This was nice, considering he hasn’t saw them in a long time and specifically made time to be alone for a few minutes to give me a call every day.
We haven’t really texted much this week, kinda just superficial things like what we’re up to at the moment and outfit pictures. I understand he’s having fun and seeing family, and wouldn’t expect him to be constantly texting me, there’d be nothing to talk about when he got back then lol.
The “problem” is the work retreat. We work at the same company that has seasonal retreats every few months, which are basically 3-4 days of binge drinking/parties, networking, and team building workshops. The majority of our industry is generally outgoing, attractive people under 30, with our branch being the same. Not everyone at our branch went, because the trips can be pretty expensive considering travel expense, food, shopping, parties/drinks, and budgeting for time off. I couldn’t afford to go and wouldn’t really feel comfortable spending that much time with coworkers, even sharing a hotel room. However, he had it planned even before we started seriously dating and seemed really excited, especially cause he’s been with the company longer and has a lot better friends there.
I didn’t think I would really care, but with not really talking to him for a week I’ve started to spiral. In the group of people going are a few who he’s hooked up with in the past (years before I was even hired) and is still good friends with, along with coworkers who are just like idk; really pretty, funny, outgoing, sporty, and otherwise great. Obviously I like my coworkers, but I know I have low self esteem and a really bad habit of being jealous of charismatic, funny, pretty women cause I know I’ll never be that.
It never really bothered me before cause he’s been an amazing boyfriend, constantly telling me how he’s crazy about me, always up for spending time with me, and going out of his way to do nice things. I’ve never been treated so well and he means so much to me. I think I’m terrified that I could lose it to some stupid mistake or something at a work retreat of all places. I don’t know what I’d do if we broke up cause he cheated on me. I’m also terrified thinking about the possibility of something happening, everyone on the trip knowing and not telling me, and thinking I’m just the stupidest person ever and laughing about it without me knowing. I don’t think he would ever consciously cheat on me, but I know after binge drinking for days you aren’t really making the best choices. A few of the people on the trip are pretty relaxed about going for people with partners, taking it as an ego boost of them being “worth” the risk of the guy being caught by his partner.
Obviously I can’t say anything, cause I know it’s supposed to be a fun couple of days and don’t want to ruin it for him when he’s done nothing wrong. I also don’t wanna be the crazy paranoid girlfriend either that people make fun of. I don’t want to embarrass him and make him feel bad, he deserves to have a fun trip at the least. He told me the guys were thinking of going to a strip club one night, and asked what I thought. I know it’s just a job to the people working, but it makes me feel so gross thinking of him enjoying and maybe touching some perfect woman with his buddies egging him on or buying him dances. But obviously I couldn’t say this, cause I don’t want to be possessive and weird.
But it kinda sucks to only get a snapchat every few hours, with it being just a selfie or something for the main communication. I’ve been working 60-70 hour weeks recently and am living in a city where I only know my bf, his family, and my coworkers for the summer. I think I’m just lonely and that contributes. But the longer it goes between texts the more and more I think that he’s busy flirting with or hooking up with people on the trip. It’s at the point where it’s starting to seem real, and I’ve started to imagine how I’m going to fill my summer after finding out he’s a cheater. I can imagine him smiling and laughing with the women on the trip and being turned on by how beautiful and charismatic they are. I know Im the opposite and it only fuels my insecurities.
He’s never cheated in the past to my knowledge, is such a genuine caring guy, and treats me the best I’ve ever been, so I’m pretty much just breaking my own heart thinking of something so out of character happening. It’s all I can think about right now. I’ve slipped back into toxic patterns of just leaving him on delivered to see if he’ll reach out again, “proving” he cares about me. I’ve even considered picking up another shift on the day he’s back so we can’t hang out, and seeing how he reacts as a gauge of how much he cares about me. I can’t tell him any of this because it’s so toxic, and he didn’t do anything wrong, I’m just a delusional, insecure, ugly, stupid mess. I’m terrified for the day that he realizes he can do so much better.
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