We have been together for 1 year. When we started dating she was working as a primary teache tutor. She has slowly realised this isn't for her - whilst she loves working with children the workload and other pressures was getting to her. She left her job with no real plan. At the same time she became injured... she was training for a marathon but was then sidelined for 4 months so she had to defer it. At this time she was very depressed but fortunately she seems to have come out of it as she's recovered and is running again.
Recently she's gotten in to a bit of sports broadcasting - she does a couple of hours per week writing and reporting for the BBC related to her local club, in the Premier league. She loves going to matches and enjoys the bit of work she does. Aside from this she hasn't been doing an awful lot since January. She gets low at times but she now feels quite refreshed from a little break and as though she is ready to go again with applications. Her interests are now journalism/ marketing and she's looking in to applying for entry level roles in these areas.
She feels a bit insecure regarding her age as she'd be working alongside recent grads. I've also noticed that when people feedback on her media work (always very positive) she tends to write it off as she's too old... she feels like she can't get in to journalism at her age. I've been trying to reassure her but I'm not sure if she may have a point. What do you think?

Background information (list of symptoms at the end): 185 cm 84 kg Caucasian
Symptoms (highlighted most problematic symptoms): Considerable levels of fatigue that are worse in the morning Pain in upper arms both sides Ear pain Headaches Muscle weakness and stiffness Joint pain Blurry vision at times Lightheadedness Brain fog Trouble falling asleep Mood swings -> mostly from anxiety to depression to anger
This has been a persisting issues for almost all of my mothers side of the family, which affected us in different intensities at different times. The issue emerges seemingly spontaneously and lasts for days/weeks or sometimes months and disappears as suddenly as it comes. My doc requested several tests and me to see different specialists - blood sugar is always good, iron levels are always good, endocrinologist ruled out thyroid related issues as my blood test and ultrasound returned normal (only one small cyst which was marked as clinically insignificant due to it being about 2mm). I had considerably low vitamin D levels, which was found to have returned to normal during the last checkup. I had some issues with a fatty liver, with triglyceride levels progressively getting better (also elevated ALT and AST levels for months, but they returned to normal). A heart ultrasound was conducted as both sides of my family are prone to heart issues and the doc wanted to exclude that - returned normal. A neurologist assessed that I have some back issues that should be treated with physical therapy as things haven't progressed too badly but need to be taken care of if I want to avoid issues in the future. An ENT doctor found I have some mild form of chronic sinusitis that is treated with corticosteroid nasal sprays during flare ups and antihistamines during this time, as my allergies act up between mid-April and mid-June. A head scan was requested to check for other issues, but apart from sinus hypoplasia nothing was found. Last blood check showed (again) some elevation in RBC, low MCV and higher MCH which is why I am forwarded to a hematologist now.
As for my medical history, these issues have been going on and off now since about 2019 after I suffered from pneumonia for about 3 months. I have suffered from panic disorder and depression for some time and taken SSRIs twice with escitalopram helping me immensely (from 2016 until 2018) before it stopped working somehere around summer of 2018 while the second SSRI didn't do much honestly which is why I weaned off with my doc (if you were wondering if its stress related). I also found their side effects to be unnerving, which is why I prefer not having to take them, if its no absolute must. To be honest, in times where my body is functioning how it should, I don't have these issues except some mild anxiety that I can manage, but during these phases it seems that both mind and body just start to riot. There are times when I am unbothered by almost all of these issues for months at a time, but when they come back, they can immensely decrease my quality of life as I find 2 hours of minor activity to make me want to teleport home and lie down which is then followed by pain. The pain itself, I can't really explain as I am not sure if its muscle pain, or nerve pain (I highly doubt my bones are aching), but it feels like a hot set of needles is targeting specific spots in both arms. The issue know has emerged summer last year and has been pretty consistent, which is kinda discouraging as I simply want to spend quality time again but can't seen to overcome this, which is in turn affecting my mental health negatively.
I am doing regular checkups with my doc and I am trying to refrain from self diagnosing because I tend to look things up when panic creeps in, but I know that dr. google will follow up with CFS, Fybromialgia, MS and others. However, I wanted to look into some opinions just in case you experienced something similar or treated someone with similar issues to see whether something was missed

Hello everyone,
As a new student I applied for a full time student discount on council tax for my flat. I study 120 credits a year 4 modules of 30 credits each, a couple of these modules start in October and last approximately 9 months and the other two start later around march and end by September. The letter I received as proof from the university states the module names, dates and approximate study hours which is 8-9 for each. Now, my request from the counsel was approved however, says that from the end of June onwards I will be charged full council tax as I only have 2 modules running, that should be at least 21hours of study time to be considered full time. Now my questions are: So in that sense I would need to keep adjusting my council tax when I have at least 3 modules running concurrently to receive the discount!? Does anyone else have the same experience? Do students have to do this when they have summer brake off school, and have to pay full price for that period? Finally is this a new system? As my flatmate said he would have the discount year round a couple years ago.
Thank you, have a great day!

My boyfriend (let's call him Dean) and I went on a trip recently and our mutual friend (let's call her Annie) joined us. She likes to travel and has trouble keeping friends so she really wanted us to go on the trip with her. We think it's also because she needs someone to drive her around.
A bit of a backstory.. I met Dean about 1.5 years ago through Annie. Since then, Annie has moved to a different state whereas I ended up relocating to Dean's state and currently live with him. Dean told me that they have been on a trip before as friends (before Dean and I even met) and shared a room. Annie is pretty open and sometimes walks around topless so he has seen her topless maybe once or twice. I have also gone with her to a clothing optional beach and she went topless (Dean wasn't there that day though I don't think she would've cared if he was). She is known to use and manipulate guys she goes out with but stands up for her girls. But Dean and her relationship has always been platonic and she treats him like one of the girls. So he is still friends with her since she hasn't done anything bad to him. Bottom line is that they are not each other's types so I'm not worried about them hooking up or anything.
Annie is very sexually active and pretty open. At the time of the trip, she was texting this guy she's interested in and was trying to get his attention, I suppose. We went to a beautiful lake and the three of us took various pictures/videos. She took some great shots of Dean and I, which we really appreciated. I take better photos than Dean and he takes better videos than I. So I took most of Annie's pictures and Dean took her videos. Then she said she wants a completely nude video of her going into the water and requested ME to take a nude video of her (which I'm assuming is so she can send it to the guy she's interested in). Although I feel she wouldn't care who took the video, I felt thankful she was courteous enough to ask me to record her (which also implies Dean should look away.. which I don't know if he peeked since he was behind me).
But anyways, fast forward to the next morning, Dean asked me for my phone so he could get the pictures of him (majority of the photos were on my phone) so I gave it to him. I thought nothing of it and the day went by. Then at night, I was trying to get the videos from his phone (his phone takes better videos) and that's when I noticed he had in his iPhone "hidden files" folder videos of him recording my phone playing the nude video of Annie! At this point I was in shock, felt hurt and betrayed. Honestly at the time on the lake, I think I would've been fine if Annie had asked Dean to take the video of her since I think of their friendship as platonic and since she's so open. But the fact that he not only watched Annie's nude video on my phone but had to RECORD it on his phone meant he wanted to save and revisit it. I didn't even think he would've been interested in Annie's body and nude video. I unhid and deleted the video permanently from his phone but I didn't bring it up to him. I'm sure he knows or will eventually know that I know what he did. He did ask me the next morning why I was up late. I'm not sure if he already knew by that point and if it was an invitation for me to bring it up and question him (since he values honesty and wants me to tell him if something is on my mind or bothering me). Since that day was our last day on the trip (Annie had already left by then), I didn't want to ruin what's left of it.
There was another time where Dean saved another friend's (let's call her Connie) naked photos he found online. They aren't that close. Connie is semi-famous online as a wholesome influencer but is actually a nympho. He's not interested in her and wouldn't sleep with her because she's been with a LOT of guys and he feels she's dirty. There are nude photos as well as sex videos of Connie online. I asked Dean about it and mentioned how I find it weird and uncomfortable because he knows her in real life. He said he saved them because he doesn't know if it would get deleted from the internet one day (he compared it to those leaked celeb photos). He said he wasn't trying to hide it from me since he knows I have access to his phone and can easily see it. In a separate conversation, he has mentioned that guys are visual creatures and their imagination might make them more curious about a girl. That it is worse for a guy to imagine a girl and be curious what she looks like naked. But if he were to see a girl's naked photo then half the thrill is gone. To the guys on Reddit...does this make any sense? As a girl, I would think that if you see someone naked then you would then go on to imagine how it feels to sleep with them? I feel if you try to look up nudes of someone then you're giving into your desires instead of being able to resist temptation. So what's to say that you wouldn't just give into the temptation of kissing or sleeping with a girl if the opportunity rises?
We have also had arguments before because he masturbates daily via porn. He says that sometimes he just wants to ejaculate and doing it himself is fast and easy. And since he cares a lot about the girl climaxing, then he would be more focused on the girl during sex which would affect his mood if I can't climax (I have trouble sometimes since I feel im experienced in sex because I haven't slept with many guys). He said sometimes sex with me is too good that he is still horny after and would masturbate instead of bothering me again. And other times if I'm busy or tired or sleeping. Basically, he says he welcomes sex with me if I want it but otherwise he can satisfy himself. He also goes on those nude celebrity blogs quite often, maybe every day... I think as a pastime and not necessarily for always masturbation content.
Now I know that porn isn't cheating and majority of guys, if not all, will watch porn. Those that say they don't may secretly do it and just hide it from their girlfriends. Dean said that he doesn't lie about it if I ask him, unlike how other guys may. I don't like the idea of porn but have gradually accepted it. It used to make me feel like I'm not enough. We had sex a lot more when we first got together. But now it could be weeks before something happens. We both have busy lives which may be a factor. But, I've also had conversations with him before because it feels like I'm always the one initiating. He has said he would initiate but then doesn't really. Maybe he doesn't because he feels strongly about rejection? But there hasn't been a time where he initiated and I rejected though. I did use to initiate a lot more in the past even when I'm not necessarily in the mood, and he has expressed that he prefers it to not be forced. Since I have trouble climaxing, he thinks I would be more likely to climax if I was in the mood. To me, I feel like I get into the mood when we actually start something. If nothing happens to trigger it then I could go for a long time without being "in the mood." Ideally I would want him to initiate and then I would get in the mood. And yes, I have expressed this to him but it doesn't really change. He says that I should initiate more of I want something because he is a guy and is either always in the mood or can get into the mood.
Nowadays, when we do have sex, it is usually great. But it isn't often and I'm usually the one who initiates 90% of the time. I just feel that for someone who maturbates daily, wouldn't they want to have sex more often? Isn't sex usually better than masturbation? It's not like he's refusing sex and then choosing to watch porn and masturbate, which I read is a symptom of porn addiction. But I don't understand why he won't initiate with me instead of turning to porn by himself. Excessive porn makes me feel like I'm not enough.
We've also had an argument in the past because I found out he kept all nude videos of his exes and rewatches them at times. I can't remember clearly anymore but I think he actually told me on his own about his "collection" and probably regrets it now. I didn't like the sound of it but I'm a hoarder so I can kind of understand why he may not want to delete them. However, I was not ok with him watching and masturbating to them. Which as far as I know, he hasn't done so in a long time. He has also said that they were recorded when him and his exes were still together and they are aware of the videos and never asked him to delete it. Dean is also acquaintances on social media with his exes. I believe he also broke up with every single one of his exes.
I never let him record videos of us because I was not comfortable with it and I don't want to become just another part of the collection. He said he understood and doesn't ask me to. He was upset initially because my ex has a video of us (but my face wasn't in it) and my ex said he would delete when we broke up. According to Dean, if you send a video to a guy, he most likely won't delete it even if they say they did (guys, is this true?). So he felt like he wasn't equal because my ex has something that I won't let Dean have.
I'm not sure how I am going to approach this. Sometimes not saying anything speaks louder than words. But I'm not sure if this is one of those instances. I don't know if Dean did what he did because of an addiction of nudes or adding to his collection. I don't know if he regrets what he did and is thankful I didn't make a big deal out of it. Or if he thinks he can get away with it if I don't make a deal out of it or maybe will just try to hide it better next time.
Ideally I would want him to apologize and promise not to do something like that again. But, this shouldn't even have happened in the first place. I don't understand why he would do something like that knowing I wouldn't be happy with it and would probably be hurt by it. And of Annie of all people.. someone who doesn't have a great body, not his type, and who he has seen topless before (so doesn't fit his "curiosity" clause). I personally feel like he found the opportunity and was tempted to record, probably for his collection. But doesn't really care that I deleted it and probably feels like "oh well" he doesn't get to add to his collection. This concerns me because would it mean he's would get tempted to physically cheat if a girl hit on him? Also, I know the sound of a "collection" must sound so bad. I think he just has it from over the years and it's there but he doesn't look at it regularly. And I'm sure he doesn't have hidden cameras in the house or anything. I also know he hasn't physically cheated on me since I drove him to/from work and his job environment isn't able to have any affairs happen during work hours. We're pretty much together the rest of the time.
Annie is a mutual friend of us both. It makes me feel like if it was one of my friends or one of his friends then he would be even more likely to have done what he did because he wouldn't have seen them naked before. And to me, that's just so messed up, hurtful and disrespectful. At the same time, I haven't felt a connection with any past relationship like I do with Dean. I also like living with and being with him and don't want to move back to my own hometown. Ever since we've started our relationship, I've felt the most free and happy as I have in my entire life. I was also able to experience a lot of things I wouldn't have otherwise.
TL;DR: I found out my (34F) boyfriend (36M) saved a nude video of our mutual friend (34F) by recording the video off my phone. I deleted it from his phone and I'm pretty sure he knows I know, but neither of us have brought it up. I don't know whether to say something and what to do.

Hi!
TL;DR: I'm looking for climbing specific advice on proactive injury prevention/prehab. Especially strength/conditioning routines that will help me build a solid foundation of fitness and adaptation that will minimize the risk of injury. I'm especially worried about fingers and shoulders. Staying injury free is my number one priority.
I've checked the wiki, but din't specifically find what I was looking for: Conditioning routines to proactively build a strong foundation.
Background:
Over the last year I rediscovered climbing. Climbing 1-2/week for certain periods, and having 1-3 month breaks due to travel. So far I've stayed injury free except for the occasional temporary discomfort/sourness.
I just turned 40, male, and have a active semi-athletic background. From my teens to my 30's I've done dancing, weightlifting, thai-boxing, obstacle course running and more (even some climbing in High school). So I had a active lifestyle and regularly exercised during my formative years and at 30 I would consider myself decently in shape and athletic.
Then came a period of repeated injuries that eventually made me loose interest in fitness in general. I've had recurring troubles with one knee, my back and one shoulder. I've sought highly skilled help and have done extensive rehab/prehab for all of these but the knee and back remains as easily aggravated areas.
This lead to loss of motivation and the last ~8 or so years I've done almost no consistent effort of keeping my fitness up. I'm still a healthy individual in general, my lifestyle maybe dosen't qualify as active any more, but it's not sedentary either. I've definitely lost a lot of general fitness. Compared to my old self I easily get out of breath, I feel very week and when I do make an effort of "getting back into things" I notice both a lack of resilience towards injury and a much lower rate of recovery.
Climbing is the first thing in a long while that have both captured my interest and passion for nerding out about fitness, skill building and training; and that also seems to be kind towards my pre-existing injuries (back and knee). So I really want to get into it to reclaim some of my general fitness and healthy lifestyle, and my 100% top priority is to stay injury free. To many potential activities the last years have fallen trough because of re-aggravating old injuries or getting new ones.
Current knowledge:
Due to my previous background I'm not a completely blank slate when it comes to best practices for proactive injury prevention. These are my general guidelines I've accumulated over the years and that I follow in any sport or activity (roughly in order of importance):

1. Proper warm-up - I do joint rotations/mobility, dynamic stretching/movements and get my heart-rate up as well as do sport specific warm-ups (i.e. recruitment pulls for climbing).
2. Adequate recovery - I nowadays always have one rest day between any exercise, most often two. From weight lifting I'm familiar with the concept of deload periods if that need would ever arise. My sleep and nutrition routines could be better.
3. Slow conservative progression - I'm very conscious about having slow progression and for most activities I identify the variables of volume, intensity and frequency and make sure I most often only increase one of them at a time. And I increase overall workload week to week (or slower) more then session to session.
4. In session rest & fatigue awareness - I'm conscious about taking enough in session rest between attempts of high intensity, and I stop doing higher intensity activities when fatigue starts to set in.
5. Stretching & mobility - I almost always go trough a general stretching routine after work-outs, and also ad in sport specific stretching if needed.
6. Antagonist and stability training - As I've usually done more then one sport at a time I seldom had to think to much about this, but for climbing for example I make sure to add in some pushing focused strength training to compensate for the heavy pulling focus in climbing. I'm guessing that climbing could also benefit from deliberate targeting of smaller stabilizing muscles the same way I did specific shoulder and wrist conditioning in boxing.

Advice needed:
The advice I'm looking for here is, what climbing specific (or general) advice does the community have to stay injury free as a climber? That goes beyond the general knowledge I already have?
For example I'm sure there is advice out there on how to incorporate antagonist and stability training to avoid shoulder injuries? Or conditioning you could do for fingers and wrist to become more resilient against injury?
In short, I'm hoping to fine conditioning routines I could do as "prehab" to stay ahead of the curve so to say. As in making sure my fingers/shoulders already are adapted to a higher level of effort/intensity then what I produce on the wall.
Essentially I'm hoping to find ways of consciously building a foundation of fitness that is specific to climbing, and to do so in a controlled fashion. I would for example be completely fine with climbing a bit less, not really pushing grades and instead spend more time in the gym right now if it significantly improves my ability to stay injury free long term.
I'm not sure this is possible of course, or if there is information out there on this, but "pre-conditioning" so to speak is something I've done before in the boxing world. There you could have cycles of training focusing on fundamental conditioning that would let you have higher levels of intensity in training later. These where often focus on wrist/hand conditioning as to survive the punishment does areas get during extended high intensity training.
I've tried to find information about this on my own, but I feel it's hard to know what information to trust, and there isn't (compared to other sports) that much information out there either. So far "Hoppers Beta" seems like my best find.
"Density hangs" and an assortment of wrist/fingers routines with familiar tools (from boxing) like a rice bucket and wrist-rollers pops up in the results, but again, I haven't felt I'm able to sort the good from the bad.
Many thanks to anyone that read this far, and I hope to hear from you all :) Cheers!

First, just a shout out to this community who are so helpful.
Second, god help me! Why is it getting harder and worse!
Bub has always been on the high end of awake windows. At 5.5 months, she did a 10hr night, 3hr naps and a 3 nap schedule of 2.5/2.5/2.75/3. We sleep trained with Ferber at 5.5 months and it was a huge success. No nap training, but LO was doing 1-1.5hr naps regularly.
The last nap was interfering with bedtime and naps suddenly turned to 30 mins, so I decides to transition to 2 naps at 6 months.
I have tried a range of schedules totallying just over 10hrs to be consistent with the 3 nap schedule.
Right now at 6.5 months we are doing 2.5/3.5/4 or 3/3.5/3.5-3.75.
Naps haven't improved and are still at 25 / 30 mins. Nights are fine.
Then this week, she has begun to scream murder when we put her down at night (before I put her down and left the room without any issues). She does the same thing for her one night feed (taking about 30min - 1hr to CIO). And also crying like crazy when waking for naps. We can now only resettle with a contact nap. She loses it when we leave the room while awake too, so thinking this a separation anxiety issue.
I was worried she may be undertired, but we are saving all naps with a contact nap and she is still getting a decent night sleep. She hasn't slept better on the lower end of the ww we have tried. Also she is a delight whilst awake.
On the other hand, I'm to scared to increase ww because we have just transition and it seems like alot for her age.
She has recently started commando crawling. Not teething yet.
We have been sticking to our ST approach, but hubby wants a cut of period for MOTN crying, which I am worried could be a backwards step.
What is our problem and how do we fix it?!?!?!
Thank you from 2 tired parents.

TLDR: How do I even approach this with my managers? Will I burn this bridge if I want to leave again?
I am a mid-career professional working in the nonprofit industry. A classic case of passion for the mission turned into burnout. I left my company after 2 years to do a tech bootcamp after realizing that my currently salary, work expectations and career trajectory was not feasible for me to start a family anytime soon. My cortisol was at an all time high and my health was bad. I was not happy with myself. In therapy, I realized I was an overachiever and had perfectionism issues to work through. I hated disappointing people so I would say yes to everything. The more I did, the more they expected. The expectations to perform are very high at this job and the pay is below market rate. Entry level college grads in other fields make more than me. I worked overtime with no pay almost every other day with no breaks. I got promoted and they loved my work. But the more I stayed, the more stressed I was and the bleaker I felt about my self. I left on excellent terms and was honest about the challenges I faced and my career change.
Due to financial situations, I went back to this job after almost a year away because I needed the money and health benefits. They offered me my old job back when I got an offer from a competitor. I needed a paycheck and to go back to therapy after my grandma, who raised me, passed away. I’ve been back for two weeks now and I am experiencing extreme anxiety, stress and sleepless nights. They are forcing everyone to go back to the office physically, and I negotiated less days, but I can’t bring myself to do the 2 hour commute one way. Everyone applauds me for my work but I just don’t feel happy there because in order to do good work up to their standards, I have to sacrifice a lot of my time working with limited to no breaks throughout the day remotely and outside of 9-5 hours. I may have another job opportunity in the private sector that pays me 40% more and is basically what I’m doing now but with a promotion. This job aligns more with my new tech degree too.
What should I do? How can I quit again?
If I don’t get the other opportunity, I’ll just tough it out because I don’t plan to be in this industry long term.

Randomly when I do something (when I'm walking, mostly) I remember fragments of extremely complex dreams I had, with a full world building, characters and all, like if it was in another universe. The weird part is that when I remember them, I feel very nauseous, sometimes I need to sit down to not fall, then when I feel better, I totally forget the dream. It happens very randomly, It was pretty frequent like 3 years ago, then I had none (I didn't even remember I did those dreams), then since a few days ago I'm starting to remember them again? I have a lot of trouble remembering them but I know that I'm remembering the same dreams I had years ago. Does anyone have an explanation? Does anyone experience similar things?

Adding to my reoccurring writing theme about memes, as memes hide in the most exciting places, including leadership education and the often passionate beliefs surrounding some theories. I have written previously that I have a collection of so many single-serving doses of leadership wisdom that I lost count at 1,000 examples. In some cases, the meme is an inspirational quote that someone uses, like “Be the change you wish to see in the world,” accredited to Gandhi, but he never said this. He actually said, “We but mirror the world. All the tendencies present in the outer world are to be found in the world of our body. If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. This is the divine mystery supreme. A wonderful thing it is and the source of our happiness. We need not wait to see what others do.” So the context is significantly better than the shortened meme. Other memes often fuel the multi-billion dollar leadership industry, like “Leaders are not born. They are made.” Because leaders are robots in the literal sense, seriously, the best memes are the ones that are the most difficult to dispute and sound the wisest.
Now, to discuss the meme of emotional intelligence (EI). Before I get flamed, I am not saying there is not worthy and well-executed research on the topic, as there is quite a bit, and folks are very passionate about this topic. From the inception, Salovey and Mayer’s four-branch premise was that EI is defined as the “...ability to monitor one’s own and others’ feelings, to discriminate among them, and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and actions.” The math from O’Conner and fellow researchers in 2019 concluded that EI had had three decades of research, a significant split into two forms being trait and ability, 30 different measures, and complicated literature, terms, and debate over the validity of EI being compared to IQ.
The challenge is the pop culture-like fanfare (coined by O’Conner and crew). EI and the complementary notion of EQ, like IQ, are portrayed as a heuristic that folks can get behind, EI instantly makes sense as “I may have average IQ, but I have massive EQ.” This heuristic parallels the popularity of unfounded (data-less) musings of genius without common sense or the higher IQ ones with the greater common helplessness of Sheldon Cooper not being able to understand sarcasm or desire to drive a car (despite having a license). Goleman did not help with the best-selling books that (I realize from hearsay - unconfirmed) had the original title changed to Emotional Intelligence by the publishers as a means to capture the populism and marketing buzz.
The most interesting story is from social media, where leadership gurus add the most remarkable attributes to EI as if to make users uber-leaders. “Emotional intelligence also allows leaders to inspire their team to achieve great things. This ability to inspire and lead by example can lead to better results and increased job satisfaction.” And “We are entering a new era - an EQ revolution.” As well as “Emotional intelligence brings you confidence.” The challenge here is the attribution to EI without data to substantiate it. It sounds like if you have a high EI measured by any of the most famous six measures (of the 30), the leader becomes good at everything, which is hardly true for individuals and unique organizational cultures.

I’ve known about mbti for I think longer than a year now, and I started informing myself about cognitive functions about half a year ago. I have typed myself as an INTP for quite awhile now but I always start to doubt again like “what if I’m not actually an INTP” “what if I just want to be an INTP” etc etc and then I’m again trying to find out whether I’m an INTP or not. I try by looking on cognitive functions of course but it’s very hard for me to figure out which cognitive functions is my dominant one etc etc. Does anyone have an idea how I can be at least almost sure about what my type is?

So for backstory my dad is an abusive, angry man. The world has to revolve around him. My mom enables him. Now I want to be clear, I am sad for my mom that she feels/is stuck in a bad marriage. However she spent my entire life catering to my dad and abusing me when he wasn’t around. I don’t know if it was her taking her anger out on me or what.
A few years ago I was really ready to cut my family off but my mom appeared to finally be remorseful for how horrible she was. She apologizes, lets me talk about it, etc. That was enough for me then but I’m starting to realize maybe it isn’t enough for me now with how annoyed I seem to get just being around her. She refuses therapy even though I’ve begged her. She said “but I don’t need it, I’ve learned so much just by talking to you.” She used me as her personal therapist growing up and I see that won’t change. I also get SO annoyed when she complains, which is often. She just sent me a text “I’ve been up since 3! I’m exhausted!” Okay..I started developing horrible insomnia in high school which I still deal with today after I was raped on my bed. I told my mom about that and she said she didn’t believe me, and I wasn’t allowed to tell my dad because then he would kill my rapist and go to jail, so we would be homeless and it would be my fault. I would beg to stay home from school because I was up multiple nights in a row and she just told me that’s life. She will complain about her sinuses, but ignored how bad my allergies were growing up and told me I was being dramatic, so now as an adult I get shots and had a sinus surgery last November. I had horrible, horrible periods growing up that would have me vomiting, in severe pain, etc. She told me I was lying and would scream at me. Now with her going through menopause she complains all of the time. I just don’t care. I don’t feel bad for her. Every time I’m sick now I try to make sure everyone knows I’m not faking it, that I’m not dramatic, and I’ve even put off going to the doctor for real issues because I thought I must have been making them up. My parents were upper middle class too, so it wasn’t a money issue regarding taking me to the doctor. One of the times my mom accused me of faking I even ended up having a severe infection.
She was supposed to meet with a divorce lawyer yesterday. The last time my dad did something horrible to me, she said she was going to meet with one then too. Every time my dad is horrible to me she acts disgusted and tells me “in secret” that she is going to get a divorce. Then she doesn’t even kind of follow through. I asked her to just stop telling me this then and she goes “that’s fine I’m a private person anyway, I won’t bring it up anymore.” Again I understand the relationship dynamic is messed up and my mom doesn’t work so leaving would be hard. However I don’t feel bad for her when she won’t even try therapy. She tells me she just has to wait for my dad to die.
I just can’t feel bad for her. She doesn’t even try. I’ve also never met anyone more negative it seems, she is unhappy every damn day about something.
It does make me worry though. If there is anyone I should feel empathy for, it should be my mom, but even seeing her cry most days just makes me annoyed. I feel it for other people. I wish I could forgive her for the abuse in the past but clearly I can’t get over it. I feel guilty about that.

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Looking to start invading elsewhere (still love ER but gotta take those breaks). LOVE playing DS3 but only ever have done it online. Does anyone have any good resources to start figuring out DS3 invasions?

i’m sorry if there’s any errors in the following paragraphs, english isn’t my first language.
before i tell you the main portion of the dream, the first dream I had before all of this was me playing ‘hide and seek’ with people i know in real life, in a huge hotel, like really really big, it was a 5 star, and it matched the hotel that I had in my next dream that goes as follows.
the dream started with me becoming a ‘man’ (i’m a woman irl) and travelling around places with this sports team i was in. we went to hotels and resorts to makeup for the times before our matches and that’s where i found this other guy, who i was really attracted to and decided to spend time with him. we sat in this ‘sauna’ together and spent time and then soon I got up when we realised that we had been there for too long. after that, we spent a lot of time together and enjoyed each other’s company.
fast forward to 6 months later, i decided I would ‘confess’ to the guy. we were having dinner together, at a hotel, and he had brought his cats with him (there were 2 and he kept them in the animal cage which you use to take your pets to the vet) we just sat and ate the food and i gave him this letter, I had written for him where I confessed I liked him. he read it and said he liked me too but wanted to know since when I liked him. I told him it was the day since we were together in the sauna and he just laughed. then I bought a room for us in the hotel because we had to talk about a lot of things. we went upstairs (the restaurant was at the ground floor and the hotel, floors above it) and the first thing I noticed was, the room across ours, belonged to the people who used to pick on my ‘boyfriend’. I ignored it and went inside the room. we sat down and he sit on my lap??? he was then talking when I kissed him, and then apologised for doing it without consent. he just smiled and and continued talking and then I kissed him again.
break because I was awoken by my sister once
i went back to sleep and i was in a whole different world this time. i saw my friends dancing on the roof, professionally with a teacher, doing this indian art form called bharatnatyam. i wanted to join too but was too afraid to ask the teacher and my friends (mind you these are my real friends whom I meet regularly) asked me to not join the class because it’s boring and they were forced to join it.
as soon as I left the entrance of the roof, I became a guy again, this time I saw some people in the corridor who used to pick on my ‘boyfriend’ and went and beat one of them up and they all ran away. i went to our hotel room where my boyfriend and i were staying and he was crying. i was shocked and asked him what happened but he said that we’re over and he does trust me. i was shocked and he showed me these pictures where I was with another girl, just sitting next to her. I told him I was advising her regarding something (I don’t remember what) and he stopped crying and apologised saying he was just scared that I left him. I said that would never happen and hugged him. later on, he sat on my lap again, and i kissed him. tmi but kissing him felt super good? his lips were soft and it was an amazing kiss whenever we kissed.
i don’t remember the dream after it/ whether or not I dreamt anything after it but i just know that the guy who was my ‘boyfriend’ was beautiful even though I don’t remember what he looks like. i would like to see that dream again today with all honesty and figure out some spaces that are missing in between.

I bought a 2011 MKX used. Ran great on the test drive, signed everything and was told car is sold AS-IS. After just a couple of days of driving I started having break problems, they smelled like they were burning, they were grinding really bad. Replace the brakes all was good for about a week and a half and then same thing happened again. Again we replaced the brakes, calipers, and wheel bearings as well as cleaned all of the sensors. Car ran great fast forward a week and the same problems happening again. I brought it back to the dealer they told me that I need struts and that it is not covered under the extended warranty that I purchased. I don't believe this is an issue with the struts, I feel it's either a brake booster recall or an ABS module control. I have had to replace the brakes now four times in one month, last time was a week ago when I stopped at a red light and they were just plumes of smoke coming out of my passenger side tire. Brought the car home checked out the front brakes and they looked fine my rear brakes however were completely gone. I've called a different Ford dealer local to me and all they keep telling me is the original warranty expired 2 years ago and so nothing is covered. I spent more money on the vehicle than I would like to admit and I really do not want to sink another $5,000 into it, I am hoping that this is an issue that maybe I can fix at home. When I am driving it feels like my brakes lock up and my car goes into limp mode, does not want to accelerate gets kind of shaky upon acceleration. Any idea what could be causing this?

I moved abroad hoping that this problem would be solved, if anything I discovered that the problem was never me and even without me they are still unstable and toxic.
Every time they call me they complain about something the other did or just insult my other parent while I sit on the phone almost 2000 km away with nothing to do. I'm just a crying shoulder, better than being the punching bag I was when I lived there, but I wonder if there will ever be a day when I can call my parents without crying right after hanging up.
I'm always the one who has to act like an adult, both of them are completely irrational and immature and that's not what a parent-daughter relationship should be like. I feel so isolated because of this, I live abroad and if something were to happen to me here I don't feel like I would have a safe place to return to. I don't know how to deal with this situation, should I just cut them off once and for all? Yesterday I told my dad that I was tired of picking up the phone and only getting bad news, that I wasn't going to do him any "favors" he was asking, and that it would be nice if I could share with them some of the good things that were happening to me.
He got defensive and started apologizing but also not accepting that he was doing what tbh it''s just sad, incredibly sad to see your parents act like that. I can't celebrate anything with them, they have no idea about the things I achieve. Sometimes I feel happy about my life, I'm proud of myself, but it annoys me that I can't get that validation from them.#
The little girl inside of me still hurts sometimes when I think about all the pain and trauma my parents me through, does not matter how happy I am, this is always something in the back of my head that even haunts me in nightmares.
On the good side I feel very mature and independent, but what if my world falls apart? who´ s gonna be there for support and unconditional love?

So I just started this office job yesterday and was paired up with this girl. She looks 21 but later told me she was 31 and has a husband. I told her I was 25 because she asked when my birthday was.
Anyways, she seems like she doesn’t like showing me how to do things and does them really fast. I’ll ask her to slow down and she said ok but looks absolutely furious. My new laptop from the office was having issues with the password and our manager told her to call tech help but she was placed on hold. She then told me to do it myself and the tech guy was asking me questions about the office that I didn’t know and when I called my colleague she turned around and gave me an angry look.
She’s been working here for one year. She’s extremely bossy but I just follow whatever she says even though it bothers me. She tells me to go use the washroom, to eat, and literally when it was 4:30 on the dot she told me to get going and not miss my bus. I could tell she wasn’t comfortable around me because she always had her legs crossed, arms crossed and would constantly pull her sleeves over her knuckles. When she’d be explaining things to me she like expects me to get it right away and was asking me to do the work rather than watch so I cooperated and when I forgot something she’d just look at me for a few seconds and explain.
She also asked about my last job and i kept it short (it was at a bigger company) and she tried going into detail three different times during the day but I would just talk about something else. I feel like working alongside her for months will be problematic if I ever do or say anything that doesn’t align with her.
TDLR - new colleague seems to not want to help much unless it involves being angry about things and it shows through her body language

Hi there. I'm the author of the HACS-optional Home Assistant integration for Linux media players. With this open source software, you can control any MPRIS media player remotely from your Home Assistant dashboard.
Here are the two components of the solution:

• The agent that goes on your Linux system that has the media players: https://github.com/Rudd-O/hassmpris_agent
• The integration you deploy on your Home Assistant setup: https://github.com/Rudd-O/homeassistant-hassmpris

Once you have both going and paired, all media players you open on your Linux machine will be registered with Home Assistant.
How does this look like? It looks like this (video link) — in the video you see the dial being used to control the play head position of / play / pause a YouTube video running on Chrome, and that action is powered by this MPRIS integration. Of course, all these actions you can also perform using your favorite media player controls card on any Home Assistant dashboard. (The volume in this video is being governed through the DENON integration — for details on how the dial was hooked up to the entire media center, see here.)
The integration is pending review in the Home Assistant pull requests queue, as I am committed to integrating and maintaining this for everyone to use.
Enjoy — and please leave feature requests either on the bug trackers of each project or on this post!

Previous landlord was a private owner and while he had a reputation of not returning deposits, he would only let people with 700 credit scores move in.
Things were quiet and chill.
New management took over and they really just started letting whoever move in who can afford it. Now we got hill billys always working on their trash heap vehicles in the lot. (I love rural and country life but these guys are stereotype parodies)
Any way it's been ok but I got this slob woman with blue hair beneath me and really I don't care.
But the other day I parked in a usual spot. Mind you the lot does not have painted parking lines and often we give each other enough space, usually more than a standard parking spot.
I pulled into the open gap which was probably the width of 1 and 3/4s parking spaces, not really enough for two cars let alone my SUV and her piece of shit 2006 Chevy avalanche.
So I park in the middle and Jabba was talking to a neighbor in her shit mobile and yells out "hey can you move over! You're taking up two spots!"
I look at the space on either side of my vehicle, then over to all the empty spaces in the lot and say "uh no problem"
I moved my car over and she then parks next to my car. I go to my passenger side to let out my dog and of course there is 0 space for her to open her door with mine open. So I take a bit longer than usual so she has to sit in her car and think about her actions.
Meanwhile the rest of the week, her shit car has been taking up the same "two spots" she accused me of taking...
She's obese, rude and obviously has a shit life so I just leave it alone but half of me wants to call her out but it's not worth it in my small community
Just wanted to vent

Preface

I originally wrote this like a year ago and it's been sitting in my drive since. I really need to start busting out a lot of the half finished content I have so here's the first one! I did a fresh review of the documents and made some edits but I'm sure there's some mistakes. I have many more in store but no ETA on when I'll get to them.
Like most things I create this should be viewed as an ongoing document to be improved and carried into the future. Feel free to suggest improvements in the comments! There's already a lot of organization to be done by creating lists with a lot of my suggestions for easy reference.

Introduction

OPSEC is a ongoing assessment of your threat model and allowable risks against your implemented security measures. Threat model would be how we might get investigated by law enforcement (LE) and subsequently arrested or it might be how we prevent any malicious actors from using this info to bring you harm. Allowable risk is how much you really think you're going to get nailed for buying bark online or buying lab equipment off Amazon, it could even be how much you risk telling your neighbours who might perceive it as a meth lab and call the cops.
Not all of the factors and risks discussed in this post will apply to you but that's to be expected. The point is that you thought about it, assessed it's merit and reacted appropriately to protect yourself. Sometimes it's not about realistic threats as much as it's about piece of mind but if you find yourself constantly stressed about your OPSEC then it's time to re-evaluate your posture. If that stress is irrational, unreasonable and persisting you may be a victim of FUD; fear, uncertainty, doubt. A chronic disease that wastes away the sanity of good folk, the only known cure for FUD is cold, hard, facts preferably ingested in the form of well research studies, experiments and expert opinions.

Your Personal Responsibility

Loose lips sink ships and this remains true when you move up the chain to become your very own drug manufacturer. So let's keep this between us, the special people you hold close and curious like minded folk so they can venture on their own journey.
Depending on where you live, posting about this sort of project online in connection with your real identity could be quite costly to your future and freedom, be sure to manage this accordingly and when it doubt just shut the fuck up okay?

Location and Work Area

Simply put, if you don't own or pay for the place then I can't condone extracting in someone else's house. Please wait until you're in an appropriate living situation before extracting anything as it could land them in serious legal trouble or lead to injury as they are unaware of these powerful chemicals in their house. If you have roommates then I suggest you get their input on the matter but at the very least keep it all contained within the confines of the space you pay for exclusive access to. You should be considerate of the smells and fumes emitted during an extraction and mitigate them with sealing and ventilation where appropriate?
It is possible to easily extract on a small table in your bedroom closet for the large majority of an extraction but not every work area is suited for every tek. An A/B where you reduce litres of water would be a struggle in a bedroom closet without adequate ventilation but is perfect for a basic STB. Overall I would argue that STBs are the stealthiest form of extraction requiring the least variety of items and ingredients, don't require heating (not that any tek truly does), have the least steps and are a breeze for even the greenest novices.
Avoid leaving your extraction materials out for long periods of time, cleaning then putting them away and taking out as needed is recommended is a good hygiene practice so you're not caught with direct evidence or lots of equipment out in the open. Ensure everything is sealed firmly and packed properly when storing using padding as needed, store them inside an opaque container away from view. When you're done clean your work area by wiping it down, disposing of any garbage properly by concealing it in opaque bags, freshen the smell if necessary and conceal anything that may be left out like when evaporating solvent. When I would evap something I would simply put it in a card box outside on the desk, a mesh screen keeps solid materials out and air flowing.

Digital Safety

If you wish to bolster your digital opsec posture then https://privacyguides.org/ is one of the best resources for up to date info on software that protects your digital freedom: OS, encryption, messaging, password storage, search engines, metadata (EXIF) removal tools, etc. There is lots here.
Any OS is fine for our purposes as long as you take a few steps to guard it. Local disk encryption is a must and can be achieved easily on Windows, Mac, Linux, Android or iOS if not already on by default and ensure you have a sufficient lock screen password/pin, biometric locks are not secure since they can be used against your will. Take the time to go through your settings to ensure things like screen timeout are set to appropriate levels. Phones in particular contain a lot of data on you so take the time to ensure it is well secured.
When communicating with like-minded people I suggest you use messaging apps like Signal which has been proven effective by government subpoenas, be sure to leverage its feature set like local encryption, screen lock timeout, disappearing messages/photos and sealed sender, optionally it can be routed over Tor or a VPN but this will be overkill for almost all of you and is not recommended. When setup with a password Signal can also act as a vault for any photos you take hiding them from other apps and the view of other, simply take the picture and send to your own number and it will save as a note-to-self.
The signal app by default will wipe EXIF/metadata when a photo is saved inside the app. If you're not using Signal then I would suggest an app from this list here. For desktop I use ExifCleaner which is a great option and very easy to use but MAT2 is another method you can look at, with these tools you can also see what is being removed for comparison sake. The most important EXIF to wipe is location data if that is not already clear but camera, device and dates can also be of concern.
In my opinion nothing sensitive should remain on your phone forever. If you have photos you absolutely must (or just want I guess) keep I suggest moving them to desktop or cloud storage with strong encryption and access controls, not Google drive! Check out here for more details on encryption options. For Windows encryption on Windows you can use Veracrypt for both full disk encryption (FDE), single files and storage containers, storage containers are a great compromise for those not willing to FDE as they provide similar levels of protection but in a smaller package. I don't recommend using hidden containers unless you are an advanced user. For Debian based linux distros you can enable LUKS during install for FDE along with encrypting your home folder. Remember that encryption only works if they can't login freely so be sure to shutdown your devices when you're away from it for extended periods. Syncthing can be used to regularly move content off your phone to a safer location.
When talking encryption you absolutely must talk passwords or else all if for naught, I highly suggest getting a password manager mentioned here. Use different, long randomly generated passwords for each site and same goes for your master password, learn a but more on creating a good password here. I have passwords over 40 characters in length using Snowden's advice

• 3ATINGr1nkSnak3*[email protected]?YES!

Which translates to:

• Eating Rink Snake Stars at 2pm? Yes!

As a general example I just made up and if you want it even longer....

• 3ATINGr1nkSnak3*[email protected]?YES!3ATINGr1nkSnak3*[email protected]?YES!

Yes, that's right, just fucking double it! Simple as shit and makes your password far too long to crack. Having it written down somewhere on a destructible piece of paper until you learn by memory is HIGHLY suggested, when writing it should differ from your actual password by leaving out parts:

• 3ATINGr1nkSnak3*[email protected]?YES!

Could become:

• 3ATINGr1nkSnak3*[email protected]?YES!
• EATINGrinkSnakeStarsAt2?YEP
• Eating rink snake stars at 2 okay

Test and access/decrypt it frequently so you can get use to typing it early on. I use Bitwarden which is cloud based but I don't mind the risk as I have strong password practices and I don't have to maintain my password vault. If you would rather use local encryption KeePassXC is the best option but be warned that if you experience any kind of disaster to your storage you lose everything, you must back up your encrypted vault to offline media like a few flash drives or SD cards and keep them in separate safe locations, SD cards in particular can hidden in the smallest of spaces. Always save your created passwords/logins before entering them password into a website to avoid losing them accidentally.
For browsing, any browser using a private/incognito mode is really all you need. For enhanced protection FireFox or any other browser shown here with the correct settings is probably enough. You can also use your password manager to store links and keep them out of anyone's view. For email I recommend you use something from this list but I personally use protonmail. For enhanced security you can use multiple emails when creating login details for websites. I recommend using your real name when ordering since receiving packages in somebody else's name is about as suspicious as it comes, additionally if you needed to claim the package you would be out of luck.

Buying Supplies

Yes the screenshots of amazon suggesting us our entire equipment sets are funny but they do highlight a problem of how specific and identifiable our purchasing habits can be. Whenever possible I would suggest diversifying your spending habits, some examples of this include but not limited too

• Swapping cash, prepaid credit cards or gift cards into the mix
• Buying 2nd-hand with cash
• Mix purchases between physical stores and various online retailers.
• Buying small amounts or only what you need.

There is nothing inherently wrong or illegal about buying this equipment but in conjunction with bark and other evidence it could be construed as extraction equipment which is why cleaning and proper storage can be so important.
There's two routes you can go when it comes to DMT extraction equipment, the lab equipment route or the home equipment route. Lab equipment are purpose made so they do an excellent job and increase safety significantly when used right. Home equipment is mega stealthy and cheap but with it you are often compromising your own safety. Virtually everyone strikes a balance in this regard to suit their tek and flavour of risk, something to consider when choosing your tek.

Closing

The best judge on which scenarios to protect against is you! OPSEC should be something you own as a whole so doing some critical thinking will be necessary to achieve your goals.
When in doubt, STOP and seek help from your fellow extractors on what is your best course of action.